Unofficial History of ILX (ILM specifically i guess)

i was just reading some of the recent posts on Matthew Perpetua and Fluxblog make the NY Times and being semi-confused about all these allusion to beefs that drove Perpetua away from ilx, because (shooting myself in the foot here?) i've known of ilx for a couple years but only made my account and started visiting regularly a couple months ago. (i've only let music become my singular, no-time-for-other-media pop culture obsession in the past year or so.)

basically i find these feuds/alliances/histories between semi-reknown music writers in this weird little community fascinating, god only knows why. and i love seeing decade-old posts from, like, Nitsuh, or other people who don't post anymore. and i'd like to somehow familiarize myself with ilx's (ilm's) changes over the years and the internet personalities of names i only know from bylines or the occasional tweet. (not to mention i have no idea how to figure out who critics with non-real-name bylines are besides reading ilx/ilm for every waking hour/a shit ton of guesswork.) e.g. is there less substantive discussion on here than there was at some point in the past? total nerd stuff. is this, like, against the ideals of ilx? am i "supposed" to glean this stuff by just reading the site all the time? this is a weird post but i'm going with it. not gonna proofread it either.

http://i.somethingawful.com/u/garbageday/2010/more_frogs/BARONS_DEF_CHARGER_01.gif

Fluxblog is a moment of accidental, fleeting eye contact with a beautiful woman created and updated by Matthew Perpetua.

The moment of accidental, fleeting eye contact began in 2002 and began to become uncomfortably embarrassing to both parties three seconds later. Two moments of surprised arousal are commonly felt every weekday, along with the depressing realisation that the woman has almost immediately affected a disinterested demeanour and stared aggressively into the distance, and a muttered remark to no-one in particular that she was probably a lesbian anyway. In 2008 Perpetua developed a new feature whereby he instead muttered "Goddammn Perps, get it together" in place of the traditional lesbian remark, but reverted to the original soon after when longtime fans of the moment of accidental, fleeting eye contact complained.

Media sources have cited Fluxblog as a key influence in the founding and development of bittersweet urban loneliness.[1][2][3] According to Rolling Stone, "almost all of downtrodden sadsacks trace their roots to Fluxblog",[4] and an article in The Guardian stated that "that guy was like literally just staring at me."[5] Fluxblog was reviewed positively in The New York Times.[6] In 2006, Entertainment Weekly named Fluxblog the second best moment of tragic social ineptitude, second only to Idolator, the codename for an incident where a man changed his MSN Messenger screen name to a song lyric as a means of passive-aggressively offending an ex-girlfriend.[7]

http://i.imgur.com/4sktr.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/aNrla.png

brodie

fin

i am already learning so many things

well then

ILXor.com FAQ should have all this stuff. Seriously. Let's do this, y'all.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VYBQO6lcN_8/TF4vHD99LgI/AAAAAAAAAdo/p3D1UEkKPzA/s1600/crazyguy.jpg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/totp2/features/wallpaper/images/800/chicory_tip.jpg

L-R: Tom Ewing, Marcello Carlin, Mark Sinker, Dom Passatino

― 12plsrU (electricsound), Tuesday, May 8, 2012 5:49 PM (32 minutes ago)

boom

"Please do not revive old threads if you have nothing new to add to them. Bumping a thread merely because it makes you laugh, or you wish to bring it to other users' attention, is bad form, generally speaking."

On May 26, 2007 in Austin a mysterious Mexican wearing a sandwich board, and calling himself "BIG HOOS aka the steendriver", kicks a drunk woman, Evey Hammond, out of his hotel, saving her from a gang of gay coworkers (known as Fingermen) who intend to make her return her food and kill her. After dispatching most of the Fingermen, BIG HOOS heads to a rooftop with Evey and detonates a bomb at Wall Street. HOOS takes Evey to his secret underground lair, which he calls "ILX". Evey tells HOOS her life story, describing the indie wars of the mid 2000s that, while it did not directly involve the US, triggered a global social-economic catastrophe, indirectly resulting in economic collapse and mp3 blogs disappearing. This eventually led to the fascist coup d'état in America, under the promise of restoring order. In order to smooth over their transition to power, the fascists scapegoated various "undesirable" groups - homosexuals, foreign immigrants, and left-wing liberals - ultimately killing millions of them in concentration camps. HOOS' own moms were rounded up as political prisoners because there were two of them, and he never saw them again.

After destroying Wall Street, BIG HOOS confronts three other Party figures to accuse them of, and execute them for, past atrocities: Lewis Prothero, the propaganda broadcaster who serves as the Voice of Fate; Bishop Anthony Lilliman, a paedophile priest who represents the Party in the clergy; and Delia Surridge, an apolitical doctor who once had a relationship with Finch. HOOS drives Prothero insane after performing slam poetry before his eyes; he kills Lilliman by forcing him to consume a Steel Reserve; and Dr. Surridge dies from being steendriven (however, because Surridge had expressed remorse for her previous actions, she experiences a painless death). By the time HOOS kills Surridge, Finch has discovered that all of HOOS' victims worked at a hotel near the village of Austin, and alerts Derek Almond to HOOS' plans. Almond surprises HOOS attempting to escape from Surridge's home. Unfortunately for Almond, he had forgotten to reload his gun after having cleaned it earlier that same night, and HOOS kills him.

Finch begins to read a diary kept by Dr. Surridge discovered at her home. It reveals all of the victims' previous histories with BIG HOOS during his time as a media director at the Austin hotel. HOOS was an involuntary victim of a medical experiment run by Dr. Surridge in which he was given hormonal injections with a drug called OTMarker 5. Eventually HOOS, known to the hotel's staff as the "Ringtone Bisexual", began tending a garden with hotel commander Prothero's approval, using related chemicals to later break out of the hotel while attacking hotel guards with homemade mustard gas and napalm. HOOS, the only prisoner to have survived the hotel, chose to eliminate its surviving general managers to prevent the government from discovering his true identity. Finch notes that while BIG HOOS made sure Surridge's diary was easy to find, he had also ripped out pages that may have contained information about his identity.

^otm

yes

I'm just a man who loves Rock music...Is that a crime?

― Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Thursday, October 19, 2006 8:03 PM (5 years ago)

wrinlepaws
modest mickey
steve goldberg
lord custos
becky lucas
doom patrol
smash
the woman who would even pleasure bushwick

where have they gone, these beautiful heroes of our youth?

killy has a boyfriend

luna is a boyfriend

oh and she just now moaned "do me in the ass" which makes this even more awkward. or hilarious, depending on your POV. It's getting funnier now.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:30 (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you might want to check out posts by this dude ian reese-morane or whatever dude's name was - very precious, anglo scarfy, his style/taste/everything was nearly identical to yours. identical. and here's the thing: dude was screwing his mom. so when alot of people read yr posts right or wrong they're thinking 'this guy fucks his mom' and alot of people find that repulsive, like almost as bad as liking gay dad repulsive. so maybe pipe down a little more, lose some of yr sparkle. or maybe just start posting as ian reese-moraine is on the scene againe that way you can borrow some of that motherfucker's immunity.

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), July 31st, 2006.

know this and know all

Cagematch of the Upper Case Trolls: GARU G vs. T✧✧@K✧✧.E✧✧, fite!

what are the epochal clusterfucks? vice magazine, parse a sentence of xgau's, and yelling from car windows. imo.

Jay-z vs Nas

up until fairly recently, this link still worked

Cagematch of the Upper Case Trolls: GARU G vs. T✧✧@K✧✧.E✧✧, fite!

whoops wrong thread

i don't like david blaine.

basically, caulkwagon, count yrself lucky

Dude, seriously, wtf is up with that picture? Why are they just sitting around like that anyway? For a "pussy posse" they have a notable lack of pussy.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, September 18, 2003

you have to read all of these

In Honor Of ILX Being Ten, How About Some Quotable Posts Of Yore.

and skim this

OMG I WANT THIS AMAZING RONALDINHO BOTTLE OPENER

and this one really closely

Not location specific, No rules: Welcome to ILX heaven

omg that lag--n jpg, never seen that before.

basically just start reading old threads, really.

all you need to know:

ladies and gentleman, the wit and wisdom of...

BEST THREAD ON ILX: Part ONE - The Nominations

BEST THREAD ON ILX: Part TWO - The Poll

but what if her DOGS aren't real either

― a puppy, Monday, October 15, 2007 3:34 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cant believe i've never read the whole bottle opener thread

what makes the bottle opener thread really special is the image-only summary in clusterfuck summary

That photo, annotated:

http://beta.ilxor.com/sandbox/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=159&threadid=8

Also, what were the prime Momus threads? I can't remember, just that they were great in a trainwrecky way.

Something about the suburbs, something about Eyes Wide Shut...?

i love momus on kill bill thread. classique. morbz carries on in his honor.

Maybe it was Kill Bill and not EWS: my bad

Let Us Now Praise Dave Q

probably my favorite before-my-time poster

also le coq

yeah all those Dave Q threads are great ILM history lessons

The thread that killed me in laughter the most I think is mostly gone now, it was a picture thread about Albainia mostly by Ned and someone else. I about broke down in laughter going through that one.

I think a classic one on ILM is one of the Stevie Ray Vaughn ones where random SRV fans get in to a pissing match (kind of literally) on the site.

Definitely having to register for the site has taken away the random freakiness of the site some. Before you would get say a Bobby Caldwell drummer page and people/family just randomly googling 'bobby caldwell' would pop on a thread. I get why they made the change, but that kind of happenstance that made stuff like that (or the mad Dave Matthews thread tick, can't happen without it).

TS: Denny Lethargy VS. Denny Vertigo

I never realized that Dreamboat Gorilla totally ripped off Danny Lethargy's tunes and style!

ae

ASK ME ANYTHING RE: The History of ILX

The thread that killed me in laughter the most I think is mostly gone now, it was a picture thread about Albainia mostly by Ned and someone else. I about broke down in laughter going through that one.

Behold! (It was Elvis T. and I, pretty much.)

Albanians

And mostly all I was doing was reacting, Elvis did the heavy lifting.

wrinlepaws
modest mickey
steve goldberg
lord custos
becky lucas
doom patrol
smash
the woman who would even pleasure bushwick

where have they gone, these beautiful heroes of our youth?

ILU strongo

Well, that was new to me! (xposT)

i am the small cat

music biz blogger Leftsetz luvs former ilxer Yancey

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2012/05/08/yancey-from-kickstarter/

i had no idea!

Reverend's post really says it all, doesn't it

Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

The biggest and most interesting clusterfuck I experienced in real time (refresh! refresh!) was the Luna thing. That's in one of the above-linked, right?

Also historic was when the guy who sonned vordul visited ILX.

the fascists scapegoated various "undesirable" groups - homosexuals, foreign immigrants, and left-wing liberals

ftr they didn't care if they were black, white or purple

Geir outed as a nazi

http://i.imgur.com/4sktr.jpg

guy on the left, just under the owl: I cannot for the life of me remember any searchable terms to find that story again, can someone help?

that is wayne

so not gonna happen

the son not gonna happen guy is probably the most legendary element of the collage, at least for me

so not

so not gonna happen! of course. thanking u

for the OP
so not gonna happen

i thought so not gonna happen 3 was a worthy edition to the catalog as well

Tuomas is all-time on the "so not gonna happen" thread. to wit:

There's a restaurant called "Hooters" in the US? Christ! Has anyone complained about it?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, January 31, 2006 6:12 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

has anyone complained about it?

some owl-haters iirc

my favorite thing about the collage is cuttyhorse leaning in from the far right like robert downey jr peering over the edge of the VHS box

all time top 3 ILM posters

1. GARU G
2. HUNTA D
3. ???

omfg at so not gonna happen 3 first image
thank you for letting that into my life, ZS

tim @ kfc . e d u
hstencil
chaki has a hot babe in bed waiting for him

burritoville
daddy's

hstencil got really mad at me for referring to San Loco as a 'restaurant'

hahahahaa classic stence

noize warz

beefaroni merchant, part-time fish tank bitch

http://odp.uoregon.edu/projects/03-04/everypicture/producers/tynan_delong.jpg

i stopped being able to follow any of this fun shit about a year and a half ago. basically when almost everyone had to change their usernames.

tbf not much fun has happened since

god how did i forget tynan in that inventory

Marc loi facebook feminist

ddrn - not ilm-specific, i guess

I think that so many of us, in the intervening years, have learned to walk through life unafraid - unafraid - of another's jet, that the resulting comfortable, anything-goes atmosphere has you know, taken away from the "ready-to-ignite", controversial nature of the site that was old ilx.

smdh that i have been posting on ilx for approximately 1/3 of my life.

the resulting comfortable, anything-goes atmosphere has you know, taken away from the "ready-to-ignite", controversial nature of the site that was old ilx.

enjoy the relatively chill ILX of today so much more than the zing-happy, aggro ILX of 5-6 years ago. wasn't around before that, but i do (predictably) idealize the thinkpiece era.

smdh that i have been posting on ilx for approximately 1/3 of my life.

A little over a quarter for me.

omfg at so not gonna happen 3 first image
thank you for letting that into my life, ZS

damn, ffm, where u been?

idk, some of the great hardzings echo through the ages like roars of t-rexes, i think we've lost something dangerous sure but also great and fearsome and vital

I've been here but for a long time was a chronic bookmark abuser; trying to keep my eyes on the SNA prize nowadays!

Jay-z vs Nas

― Jeff, Tuesday, May 8, 2012 10:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^^

i think we've lost something dangerous sure but also great and fearsome and vital

u mean all the sensitive britishes that decamped to a secret sub-board?

http://img2.bdbphotos.com/images/orig/n/5/n50fqfma97fm5nf7.jpg

wm henry harding

i trust you don't refer to the lbzc

after ten years of perusing ILX i still have no idea what is going on or what anyone is talking about 97.789% of the time.

"god how did i forget tynan in that inventory"

jay blanchard

thread to post fake nudes of yer favorite rappers

actually chaki was indirectly responsible for jay getting banned? i think. film board hasn't been the same without him...

hey anyone want to go occupy the film board with me? probably not. i think i'll make it live for a minute...

Who writes the zings for the LBZC??

^^ v topical

damn scott you lit that mf up

smdh that i have been posting on ilx for approximately 1/3 of my life.

A little over a quarter for me.

Jesus christ, me too. WTH, life.

yeah any movie buffs wanna join in, feel free.

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/NewAnswersControllerServlet?boardid=50

this was kinda a big deal i guess

ILE Bannings

ESTABAN BUTTEZ!

burt_stanton

grocery groin

m4ris4 m0nt3

robots in dis guys

best beloved benson

Pye Poudre

lol

Come on people, if the baby's presence doesn't bother the poster, beneath the initial "Ewww!" reaction (brought up by cultural conditioning), what's wrong with this? No one gets harmed in any way, someone gets a bit happier.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 11:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?

white couches

white douches

trucker hat couch

doe-eyed aquatic murder fantasies

trucker hat douches

lysol douche

Old ILM: we love neptunes, missy, timbaland, beyonce. Fuck you rockists. We are making the future here!

Nu ILM: we love Yes, Steely Dan, Sabbath, the Mac

the Mac Dre?

The Beanie Mac

god, remember outkast? good times...

what are the ying yang twins up to these days?

bieber

old ILM: tl/dr
mid ILM: zing!
nu ILM: gif

what are the ying yang twins up to these days?

― scott seward, Thursday, 10 May 2012 17:00 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wiki says they are releasing 2 albums this year! :D

ying yang twins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb_jJgXyLqc

i miss noize board

i miss giant image bombs and css hax

how many noize people are still here? am0n is here but jon is gone. is the ian that's here the ian from noize? did cutty quit? ddb? sleep is still here, no?

also: POV: people who think they're noise dudes

ian is ian, yes.

does river wolf still post?

old ILM: tl/dr
mid ILM: zing!
nu ILM: gif

For full credit, you have to turn this into a gif.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/lovespocky.jpg

D:

ilx males gets schooled

Born and raised in Fife, Scotland, Nutty Nigel studied English at Stirling University before taking on a Masters course in Film Production. As a film critic in the UK, his work has appeared in Empire, The Guardian, Impact, Neo, Sci-Fi Now and SFX, and he has also produced / co-written documentaries for the British DVDs of such cult films as The House By the Cemetery, Macabre and Dario Argento's Sleepless. His producer credits on feature films include The Collingswood Story, Brotherhood of Blood and the documentary American Grindhouse, and in addition, he has penned the acclaimed books Minds of Fear (2005), Taboo Breakers (2008) and Jack Hill: The Exploitation and Blaxploitation Master (2009). As a film festival curator, Nutty Nigel has hosted live question and answer sessions with directors as varied as Lamberto Bava, Tobe Hooper, John Landis and Tom Savini. His study at Aberdeen is entitled Subverting the Mainstream: How the North American Exploitation Film Reflected History and Changed the Course of Hollywood Filmmaking.

i miss noize board

― catbus otm (gbx), Thursday, May 10, 2012 12:08 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

does river wolf still post?

― Hierophantiasis (Jon Lewis), Thursday, May 10, 2012 12:14 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

;)

^_^

its sad, he was sassy

hahaha

i miss the listening threadz on noize board. those started in 2004? something like that. that's when i started posting there i think. likeminded people and all that.

yeah the listening threads really turned me on to some good stuff.

plus leonardo, the kind old sage

oh yeah he was Awesome!!

i didn't leonardo.

you LIVE leonardo!

(in its purest vinyl form)

got new mark robinson/fang wizard lp in the mail today! woohoo! very few 90's indie artists that make me go woohoo!!