SO U MOVING TO HSTNGS! PACK A AMPULE OF ANTIVENOM AND A FACK FULL OF EMINEM

Welcome to Chronic Lower Respiratory Diseases Tobacco Emporium, home of The Cancer Stick, the worlds longest cigarette.

Come out to the Intentional Self-Harm Gun Shop, we've got deals on shotguns.

Please register at the main office of the Alzheimer's Disease Middle School* before entering the rest of the halls.

* actually a grocery store

Our prices are so low, we must be crazy not be able to remember when we last updated them!

I miss you guys when I'm not running around exhaustedly, trying to fit everything in.

hey guys, need some music?

http://open.spotify.com/user/djperry1973/playlist/01gdGDqetro5AeAdposln1

this playlist has one song from every album available on Spotify that I put on my ballot for that "people's poll of awesome music 1996 - today) from last year

the ballot I submitted is here: http://peopleslist.pitchfork.com/list/a9f386e6/

i had no idea you repped for Watch the Throne this probably means i should listen to it at some point

fuck i wish that thing still existed to fill what is otherwise a fairly slow day at work

my relationship with that album basically went like this:

- I hear "Otis", think "eh this is okay"
- I see the "Otis" video, think "there seems to be a ton of fun behind this project that I missed, maybe I should check it out"
- I get the album, fall in love with "No Church in the Wild", "New Day" and "That's My Bitch" and ignore the rest of the album for weeks
- at some point I really listen to "Who Gon Stop Me" and realize the entire album is an explicit celebration of black overachievement
- I relisten to the entire album and begin treating it as a blatant political manifesto trumpeting entrepreneurial success rather than an album of loose party jams
- I start really fucking loving the unapologetic clarion call to succeed running through the album
- profit

forgot this existed:

http://www.zazzle.com/hastingsthread

hahaha I was just thinking of that the other day

http://rlv.zcache.com/isapi/designall.dll?rlvnet=1&realview=113914697655959301&design=99fd1edd-0432-4a35-a5e4-602603fa1011&style=infant_creeper&size=&color=white&pending=false&pdt=zazzle_shirt&max_dim=512&bg=FFFFFF

ok lol

omg yes

hahahahahahahahaaaaaa

Move to new (awesome, amazing) house happens on FRIDAY.

I hope I live that long, this is stressful.

Any chance we know the sex of John and K's baby? I only ask bc I just ran across a very cute hat for a baby that used to be Julia's - definitely would be for a girl, however.

I will probably pack it up, just in case. I just packed a huge bag of clothes J has outgrown for a friend who has two girls who are slightly younger.

btw, my kids are GIANTS now. wtf

Stop forcing your gender roles on my fetus lady.

The more real answer is tht we don't do the magic ultrasound that make genitals glow for 2 more weeks

haha ok, MESSAGE RECEIVED

I can't wait until you have a baby boy with this very girly hat on his head.

have I shared one of my most favorite threads ever with you guys

What kind of things did bully girls yell at the less athletic girls in the locker room back in high school, anyway?

bahahahahahaha

this was a lot of fun: Don't go for second best, baby. Put your ILM ARTIST POLL #31: MADONNA to the test.

damn ppl on this board love them some Erotica tho

Whoa, that is a whole lot of Madonna-related talk, dude.

I just showed J the "Borderline" video the other night for some reason. I think because J had put on an outfit (independently of any adult advice) that reminded me of it.

Which is terrifying.

I had forgotten how much I despise moving. I am never moving again after this. I have too much STUFF.

SPOTIFY BATSIGNAL

I am listening to "Hand on the Pump" by Cypress Hill, where my dog jjj at

YES

ha that explains the text message i got from you yesterday

lol I was so crestfallen that you didn't respond

ha i didnt get it until late last night for some reason

btw, we went to Fogo de Chao last night and holy shit

save some pennies and hit that shit

i have done that, and afterwards named the experience "Fog of Meat"

ya no kidding

we were like "okay we're ready to sample some things *flip disks* HOLY SHIT IT'S A MEATSWARM"

"welcome to fogo de chao, when you visit our salad bar please move carefully to avoid being crushed by the worlds largest wheel of parmesan cheese indiana jones style"

it's scary how these places have their layouts/offerings down to a science

I bet I could go to the Twin Cities one and find analogues for all of the servers who stopped by our table last night

also omfg the lamb chops

i have never fog of meat :(

^^^ I love you guys but are you speaking English even?

Come to my new house and sit on my deck and drink teh booze, it is nice here.

(ok maybe the deck is better when it is warm, but w/e)

yay deck!

good place to celebrate the first day of spring by freezing to death

apparently we are celebrating the first day of spring with over a foot of snow

hooray we all die together

hey did I tell you guys that my parents are buying a vacation home in Vero Beach, FL and I am trying to Jedi Mind Trick them into giving me my own key

important thread: THIS STUFF WILL BURY US AND THEN WE WILL ALL DIE: neverending winter commiseration thread

i was supposed to go to hawaii last week but you know baby etc. i will have my revenge

we had many grandiose travel plans and then we met with an adoption agency who basically said "a realistic adoption budget is $35K"

I mean seriously, they wonder why more kids aren't adopted; maybe if it DIDN'T COST MORE THAN WHAT 40% OF AMERICANS MAKE AS A YEARLY INCOME

on the plus side, after that you get to pay the equivalent of a private college education for day care, so really its a win win

going to teach my kid not to eat

yeah basically this is pretty much First World Problems but fuck it, they are genuine problems

the whole adoption process already feels like society punishing you for a quirk of biology (can't get knocked up like a careless teen? well then you have to fill out these forms, have someone inspect your home, write essentially a dating profile filled with pictures of how awesome you are so you can hope to match with a birth mother, then pay for that birth mother's medical bills and legal fees in addition to traveling to the birth mother's home so you can "get to know her" and paying the agencies facilitating all of this shitloads of money) with the end result basically being "congrats on your baby, you get to pay it all again if you want another one oh and btw now you have all of the expenses of a new parent; ENJOY"

not that I am angry/frustrated about this or anything

yeah i imagine that shit is infuriating

got a haircut yesterday and made the mistake of telling the lady doing it that i had a kid on the way, which led to 45 minutes of her giving me the inside scoop on how to scam free baby formula from my doctor and force my friends to give me money instead of clothes by lying to them and claiming that we aren't going to find out what the kids sex is ahead of time. plz note: during this she was not actually cutting my hair.

oh there was also the "did you know that you can get a free breast pump because of OBAMACARE" *exaggerated eyeroll*