Movies That Were Probably Made By a Spasm of Six Year-Olds on Acid: The Top 75 Action Films Poll Results Thread

so it begins

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#75

APOCALYPTO

Mel Gibson
2006
United States
(156 points, 4 votes)

Saw this the other night. Thought I was going to be bored because the capture scene went on a bit, but as it got going it ruled. The city scene is amazing. Costumes deserved triple oscars. Those people with the elaborate headdresses and shaved foreheads!

― Beth Parker

yeah so this basically fucking ruled. I watched it through twice yesterday, once with commentary. gibson is, uh, kind of a crypto-bigot, wow.

― El Tomboto

I just thought it was funny that mel could only remember like three of his actors' names from the whole movie. I mean he did remember a lot of details about so many of the people who worked on the film but clearly in his brain everybody was probably pedro 1, pedro 2, frank, pedro 8, carlito, pedro 26, fast pedro, old pedro, etc.

― El Tomboto

I checked this out of the library and watched it the other night, up to the point where the hero escapes and clambers through the pit of corpses. Right there I could see the entire remainder of the film would be an extended chase scene, so I bailed out.

Mel's POV as a writer and director is simple, simple, simple. The whole plot could be written on a napkin. However, the costumes for this film were utterly, jaw-droppingly fabulous! I can't rave enough about the costumes. The set design, cinematography and editing were all pretty darn good, too, but the costumes were mesmerizing. Loved 'em all.

Bottom line: I still couldn't finish watching the movie. Too reductive and too predictable.

― Aimless

Mel Gibson's APOCALYPTO!

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lol nice title

luv apocalypto

kinda like digging a chris brown album at this point, but, yeah, that was a good action movie.

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#74

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM

Steven Spielberg
1984
United States
(157 points, 5 votes)

I'll defend The Temple of Doom as the closest Spielberg came in the series to recreating the absurdity of those Saturday afternoon adventures he loved.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn

first 20-30 mins of temple of doom are unimpeachable. rest of it... impeachable.

― s1ocki

I'm actually starting to rethink my anti-Temple of Doom stance. It's got some pretty intense moments...like the people being lowered into the lava pit has really creeped me out a time or two. And honestly the kid (I'm just gonna call him Data even though that wasn't his characters name in this, I'll always know that kid as Data) was not really that annoying at all. The blonde lady, on the other hand...
― nickalicious (nickalicious)

Indiana Jones LOVE thread

Rank the Indiana Jones Canon

mel gibson is a great artist and is not subject to your petty societal norms xp

Short...Short-something.

would think it would be lower, maybe? another good one though.

this thread is reminding me that recently got thru like half an end of the world movie on netflix and suddenly realized oh shit this is some christian shit! left behind got a lot to answer for.

SHORT ROUND

man why didn't I get my act together, Temple of Doom would have been on my ballot

<3 Ke "Jonathan" Huy-Quan <3

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#73

GOLDFINGER

Guy Hamilton
1964
United Kingdom
(159 points, 6 votes)

Pussy Galore. the best song. girl killed with gold paint. a guy with a blade in his hat. NO, MR BOND, I EXPECT YOU TO DIE! and only 112 minutes.

― Dr Morbius

Goldfinger isn't necessarily the "best" Bond film, but it's the only "good" one, if that makes sense.

― Chuck_Tatum

Goldfinger looks like such a dork in his golf outfit. The golf scene in the film is tedious, but in the book it's three chapters.

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball)

which is the best James Bond movie?

Do you actually suffocate if all your skin is painted and sealed off from this oxygen-bearing world?

yes, if at the same time u do not breathe through your mouth/nose

i kinda like all the bond movies the same. pretty much. i don't love any of them though. they're all very entertaining.

i mean, i like john barry his own self more than any bond movie.

just crashed a helicopter when i saw that the results for this had started rolling out

under a bus.

whole riding a motorcycle.

while riding.

i didn't vote for a lot of recent stuff. sorry recent stuff! in 20 years i will i promise.

Seeing as how I'm quoted in the title of this thread, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that a couple of my favorite WTF THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE movies made the list.

got lots of statham love and all that. who doesn't? love lots of recent stuff.

my list of recent stuff would be all milla/statham pretty much.

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#72

VANISHING POINT

Richard C. Sarafian
1971
United States
163 points, 5 votes)

Vanishing Point set the standard for anti-establishment chase movies. In my opinion, Kowalski is one of the great anti-heroes in American cinema. The blind soul funk brother DJ, the open road in the American West, the Dodge Challenger into the bulldozers. Badass.

― bryan

In contrast, Vanishing Point is a grindhouse exploitation film that thinks it's Camus on LSD, and the gap between its intent and actuality is massive. I don't mind grindhouse exploitation, but Vanishing Point is pretentious in the worst way possible - stupid convinced that it's smart.

― Edward III (edward iii)

Taking Sides: Vanishing Point vs. Two Lane Blacktop

Bond films basically ripoffs of Hitchcock's North by Northwest

ok

sadly that movie now just reminds me of the horrible band primal scream. thanks a lot, primal scream. i haven't seen it in years. existential road movies aren't really my thing anymore. though i really did enjoy deadhead miles recently.

http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/goldfinger.asp

Regarding the 'painted gold' thing: It's not true.

i'm not a good hipster cuz two lane blacktop always a bit boring to me. though yeah dennis and james look fab in it. the ultimate hipsters.

Vanishing point was my number one pick! I remember talking with a friend about two different movies that had all these different moments that made no sense being in the same film, and then we realized we were both talking about Vanishing Point, and none of the other party goers believed that such a movie existed.

Whenever I think that "TV wasn't actually that good back then", I remember I saw two lane blacktop, Vanishing Point and suchlike on good ol' ITV/BBC back in the days...

i should watch vanishing point again soon. it really has been since i was a teen.

psychomania. that's what they played late at night on t.v. all the time when i was a kid.

Vanishing point was my number one pick!

Are you sure Omar got your ballot? He didn't include # of #1 votes in the results info.

yes, if at the same time u do not breathe through your mouth/nose

it was your #3, AP!

surprised that temple of doom placed so low... also surprised to find myself voting it so high on my ballot. i guess when you have an opening like that the rest of the movie could have feature garfield and i would have voted it high

it was your #3, AP!

― omar little, Monday, February 13, 2012 11:13 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

everyone h8s temple of doom is my understanding

psychomania. that's what they played late at night on t.v. all the time when i was a kid.

And that one, yes!

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#71

DIRTY HARRY

Don Siegel
1971
United States
(165 points, 7 votes)

I have decided I need to see about adopting Inspector Callahan's no-cursing policy of dry sarcasm and cruel disregard for vanity as opposed to my usual sailorstyle shit fuck piss ass bitch banter (starting with muttering "swell" and "marvelous" when receiving, uh, new information).

― El Tomboto

Robinson couldn't fire a gun without screwing his eyes shut and flinching, so they had to stop filming and send him off to a shooting range for a couple of days. Even after that you can still see him blinking whenever he fires. His performance is excellent though, just the simple bit where he's walking across the rooftop tearing up the piece of newspaper does so much to establish that the character is evil.

― snoball

the first "dirty harry" at least is fantastic. i love that shot where the camera just flies back when harry finally confronts scorpio on the football field.

― J.D.

DIRTY HARRY

everyone h8s temple of doom is my understanding

― lag∞n, Monday, February 13, 2012 11:14 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe i was the only one to vote for it

i went to the same school as andrew robinson! for a year. they had a framed picture of him in the school library. he's awesome. now and then.

o damn, its startin already! temple of doom i havent seen since i was a p small kid, but it was real scary to me back then...

i voted for two bond movies, but goldfinger wasnt one of them, but it's a good'un

you're picking great shots for the pics!

i had to check to make sure i didn't vote for all of the first three indiana jones movies but nope no temple, i can breathe easy

surprised that temple of doom placed so low... also surprised to find myself voting it so high on my ballot. i guess when you have an opening like that the rest of the movie could have feature garfield and i would have voted it high

haha this is so OTM

sorry for not voting ;_;

it never clicked with me until now, but looking at that dirty harry pic its clear that harry callahan is the most badass sweater vest-wearer in cinema history

it was your #3, AP!

― omar little, Monday, February 13, 2012 11:13 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha! Just went back and reviewed my list. Wild Bunch & Seven Samurai got top billing, so my votes are less cracked out than I remember.

it never clicked with me until now, but looking at that dirty harry pic its clear that harry callahan is the most badass sweater vest-wearer in cinema history

suddenly Santorum makes sense

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#69 (TIE)

THE HURT LOCKER

Kathryn Bigelow
2009
United States
(167 points, 8 votes)

There were a bunch of times that Bigelow's choices in Hurt Locker had me muttering to myself "100% pure adrenaline" or other quotes from Point Break. Especially the drinking scenes. She loves to shoot scenes of dudes hangin' out.

― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic)

lemme just say that all other merits aside there are some really stunning shots in this pic

― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.)

Finally saw the Hurt Locker, which I really liked.

I do wonder if Jeremy Renner's character ended up leaving his family again because the way his wife cleaned mushrooms was beyond the pale. Who soaks them in a tub of water?

― ô_o (Nicole)

kathryn bigelow

finally, someone running away from an explosion

not my bigelow of choice, but def a dope, tight little movie. also, a really cool title

I voted Raiders and left out Temple. I found myself selecting the best and only voting for one of any series.

hurt locker is one of those movies that i think of as not very good but also the rare intersection of oscar bait and ilx bait

i cant pick only one when it comes to like indiana jones and og star wars cuz when they are literally the best-directed action movies of all time it would be silly to just pick a token choice

I agree with you, slocki. In retrospect it was a weird choice.

are you saying you voted for jedi and crystal skulls?

is it really oscar bait? i still find its win kinda mystifying, only past winner i'd really compare it to is like The French Connection (or i guess Platoon)

the irl guy who it was based off of is apparently even more unhinged in reality, and is really notorious in the EOD community

are you saying you voted for jedi and crystal skulls?

― some dude, Monday, February 13, 2012 10:33 AM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

obv I voted for phantom menace

are you saying you voted for jedi and crystal skulls?

― some dude, Monday, February 13, 2012 11:33 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i did vote for jedi! (but rather lower on the list)
i didnt vote for crystal skulls though, it's not as bad as the star wars prequels but not nearly the level of the others. i'm not saying you HAVE to vote for ALL of them, but there's no reason not to vote for more than one in a series if multiple entries are dope

yeah i guess it's not fair to call any oscar winner an oscar bait although there are some ways that i think it's reasonable to call it that

there is a reason! to make room for other flicks!

hurt locker is SO not oscar bait

oscar bait is like, expensive studio bought & paid for shit like "chocolat"

yeah i feel you s1ocks -- i meant to vote for all three o.g. SW movies but somehow i left out SW itself

go away, baitin'

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#69 (TIE)

DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE

John McTiernan
1995
United States
(167 points, 6 votes)

Die Hard With A Vengeance is a blast. It's too damn long and episodic - they clearly hadn't worked out how to end the thing - but it's got too many classic Die Hard lines to be discounted. OK, it was a weird move for the series to become a chase all around town instead of a confined-space thing, but there are other ways in which it fits into the lineage - mainly the great fake-out by the bad guy. And possibly my favorite line ever by John McClane, over a truck CB: Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, fuck-head!

― Doctor Casino

did you guys know Die Hard With A Vengeance is kind of an amazing, amazing movie?

― TOMBOT

the "annoying criminal mastermind" thing is the only reason that Die Hard With A Vengeance was even remotely watchable

― bernard snowy

i struggled with the jedi question but i still think it, like temple of doom, has some pretty all-time stuff in it

haha of all the movies i'd cite as archetypical oscar bait i wouldn't have gone for 'that chick flick about the chocolaterie'

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2001/03/04/PK146052.DTL&ao=all

juliette binoche, judi dench, general faux-foreignness, miramax...

but you can pretend i said 'the shipping news' or any other lasse hallstrom movie instead haha

Still bothered (from a realism standpoint and just because it didn't fit into the narrative) by the scene in The Hurt Locker where an EOD team turns into a sniper team.

Bummed I didn't vote - would have voted for the first three Indy movies and all three Bournes no doubt.

thing about hurt locker is, when the movie showed at toronto the year before it came out, they weren't even sure it was gonna get a theatrical release!

DHWAV is really cool, didnt vote for it but its a strong movie

yeah, it definitely faced a lot of commercial resistance for, y'know, not being much of an action movie (xpost)

yeah hurt locker is a small and mean Man Movie, a very atypical BP winner imo

Star Wars is great, but it didn't make my top 50. I think mostly due to going to the theatre to see the re-release of New Hope and being all fuck it I give up on this fucker.

true (shameless name-droppy story): after the first tiff press screening i went to the film's publicist office to try and book an interview with k-bigs and she was standing there in the hotel suite getting her hair done up by her pr rep. i told her i'd just been to the screening and she really nervously, charmingly, interrogated me on how it went.. "do you think people liked it??"

i struggled with the jedi question but i still think it, like temple of doom, has some pretty all-time stuff in it

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Monday, February 13, 2012 11:39 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

you know whats weird is that i didnt vote for any spielberg even though i consider him the greatest action director probably ever to live

that is weird!

not even ALWAYS?

lol

oh man, Die Hard With A Vengeance is such a great movie

^^^

'with a vengeance' probably the best action sequel suffix of all time, too

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#67 (TIE)

CON AIR

Simon West
1997
United States
(170 points, 6 votes, 1 first place)

This movie is both awful and great, I would rather watch it than pretty much any other 90s action movie.

― jon /via/ chi 2.0

man 97 was a fantastic year for movies

this isnt even the best action classic to come out that year i mean

chapelle is pimp in this but then everyone is p much amazing

― "what a great post" - some (Lamp)

I like the part where Steve Buscemi, infamous child killer, wanders around for a few minutes in the desert, amid the ruins of an abandoned airport, and stumbles upon a pigtailed toddler playing innocently in her back yard.

― Heady Snobbin (Pillbox)

Let Us Civilly Discuss Con Air

No, please? Because that movie involves Cage saying "Put the bunny down" like 8 times.

Although Cusack as the fast-talking city guy in the cream linen suit A+++.

Why yes, I did see this movie twice in the theater (for free) (in college), why do you ask?

con air's dreck but its fun. i like it because its one of those movies where the protagonists fists are registered as deadly weapons or whatever

every time Con Air is on TV my wife and i have the same argument about how she thinks it's hilarious and entertaining and i'm like nah this is just bad

yeah i think its real close to bad for me. i kinda view it similarly to The Rock, which also straddles the funbad line, but i think with more entertaining performances

oh fuck The Rock was not on my ballot! was it even nominated? for shame

Is that the Edward Norton Alcatraz one? I just watched that last year at some point. I don't think I like guns as much as martial arts, so it was not a bad way to spend a Sunday hangover but did not make my list.

I think you all mean "Academy Award-nominated film 'Con Air'"

For me, The Rock is on the 'fun' side, Con Air is on the 'bad' side.

I don't even know if Die Hard with a Vengeance is the third or fourth one. Is it the one that really got the ball rolling as Samuel L. Jackson as permanently angry character actor?

I like The Rock OK, think Con Air is execrable/risible, but not in a good way.

To be fair to The Rock, had I thought of it in time, I would have had to ask myself, "Does this go on the list? Hmm. Not today." which is more than I can say for Con Air.

i don't know anything about action movies but con air is so bad, y'all! sorry to be that asshole invading the thread.

Ultraviolet and Equilibrium aren't making this list, are they ;_;

wait a second, who gave con air a first place vote. i just noticed that!

equilibrium got on my shortlist but not the 50 but i think i regret that

If Con air is on, I will keep watching. Gathering of crudely individuated villains, always like that; quite thoroughly cast, there are actors I can watch everywhere; absurd huge crashy sequences. It's no Rock, though, no.

Con Air is packed with so many women/children in jeopardy gags. Will she get raped by the rapist? Will she get molested by the molester? Tune in and find out!

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#67 (TIE)

BRANDED TO KILL

Seijun Suzuki
1967
Japan
(170 points, 4 votes)

I just watched Branded to Kill last night and, jesus. I mean, hallucinatory. Crazy. I can't think of another movie I've seen recently -- and I've seen a lot of good movies recently -- where past a point I had no earthly idea what was going to happen next, and then what happened next always blew my brain apart. There are so many individual genius sequences in there, and they all kind of pile on top of each other. Goddam. I've heard about him for a while, but I guess I didn't really know wtf he was up to.

-- gypsy mothra

Branded to Kill is utterly great -- picked it up several years back and Sean from SF (who's doing well, last I checked) and I had a good time watching it and playing 'spot the moments where Tarantino bugged out.'

-- Ned Raggett

i love die hard 3 and only just now read this which sounds amazing:

An alternative ending to the one shown in the final movie was filmed with Jeremy Irons and Bruce Willis, set some time after the events in New York. It can be found on the special edition DVD. In this version it is presumed that the robbery succeeds, and that McClane was used as the scapegoat for everything that went wrong. He is fired from the NYPD after more than 20 years on the force and the FBI has even taken away his pension. Nevertheless he still manages to track Simon using the batch number on the bottle of aspirins and they meet in a cafe in Hungary.

In this version, Simon has double-crossed most of his accomplices, gotten the loot to a safe hiding place in Nova Scotia, and has the gold turned into statuettes of the Empire State Building in order to smuggle it out of the country; but he is still tracked down to his foreign hideaway (this version is very similar to Alec Guinness's situation in the British heist movie The Lavender Hill Mob made some 45 years earlier in which the stolen gold was turned into Eiffel Tower paperweights).

McClane is keen to take his problems out on Simon whom he invites to play a game called "McClane Says". This involves a form of Russian Roulette with a small Chinese rocket launcher that has had the sights removed, meaning it is impossible to determine which end is which. McClane then asks Simon some riddles similar to the ones he played in New York. When Simon gets a riddle wrong, McClane forces him at gunpoint to fire the launcher, which fires the rocket through Simon, killing him. Of course, McClane had been wearing a flak jacket (which was the answer to the final riddle: "What could he have brought to the meeting to save his life?"), so even if Simon had pointed the launcher the right way, it is likely that the relatively low-velocity rocket would not have caused McClane enough injury to prevent him from shooting Simon.

People who hate Con Air hate action movies.

maybe they just like good ones!

People who love Con Air will watch anything if it is on.

branded to kill's been on my need-to-see list for more than a decade, wtf am i waiting for

is Con Air the Dirty Dancing of action movies?

I don't...know. I genuinely like Dirty Dancing, so I want to say that it's not.

People who love Con Air will watch anything if it is on.

no wai, i will not watch eg armageddon or independence day

(Con Air my 24)

Independence Day is exactly the same type of movie as Con Air!

this next one will be the last one for at least awhile, gotta head in to work. will try to get 61-65 out around midday if i can.

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#66

ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13

John Carpenter
1976
United States
(172 points, 7 votes)

the music, the creepy "silenced" bullets, the totally shocking ice cream scene, the fact that the plot is straightforward & scary (as opposed to the shitty twist the remake has--also the remake opening is so zzzzz, it's exactly the first 10 minutes of bruce willis's "hostage"! EXACTLY)... the weirdly unpretty '70s actors... the genuine tension... the fact that it's awesome!

― s1ocki (slutsky)

i don't hate the carpenter versh, but it's very 'film buff' in that it has zero 'content', kind of. i *like* that the new one has a (very stock) 'police corruption' story. i've thought about the remake a bit, and i've decided it's more hawksian, or explores the hawksian problematic(!), much more thoroughly than the '76. it's about the possibility of moral action. the central conflict: why should hawke protect the crims when the cops are in cahoots with them -- is sharp. i don't think carpenter aims for that.

but otoh i thought the first 10mins of the '05 one were skill. i haven't seen 'hostage'.

― N_RQ

Love it. Like "Night of the Living Dead" with a sense of humor.

Con Air was totally fun and watchable. Not sure why it didn't make my list.

Omar needs to do all film polls -- he picks great stills.

Stills in this thread are perfect so far.

(Though fittingly they should all be gifs)

Independence Day is exactly the same type of movie as Con Air!

nah! the cast is thinner, and there's less human-scale business.

or rather yes, it's the same type, but…

i omitted precinct cuz i havent seen it since i was like 13 and i tried to keep it to movies ive watched in the last 10 years, but there's a few other carpenters on my list.

wmc otm

One of the best things about Assault on Precinct 13 was the fact that there was just this faceless brutality coming down on these dudes. It was just this is happening and it is horrible.

con air is eh okay. doesn't need to be on any best-of list though. i never saw hurt locker. assault is the first one i voted for!

oh and i never saw branded to kill. i'll write that one down.

bum bum ba bah bum ...
bum bum ba BAH bum ...
buh buh buh buh buh ...
bum bum ba bah bum ...

oh and i didn't vote for any die hrds but yeah you gotta give props there.

I like that I don't really know anyone in Assault - slightly awkward, likeable non-stars.

Also the absurd gang bodycount - goes from 'hmmm I am interested in these revolutionary looking dudes' to oh ok they are a zombie army (with the capacity to carry their corpses away).

And the music of course. Yeah, the ice-cream scene too. Maybe should have put this higher.

No die hards? But this franchise is king of the late 80s/early 90s big-budget action movie.

i dig the die hards a bunch, but i guess i don't love them. as in i don't want to marry them. i voted only for movies that i would marry.

scott, this is a "top" list, that it has nothing to do w/ the word "best" is pretty obv

<3 scott

i hate everything fuck tha world

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Monday, February 13, 2012 12:36 PM

it was the 'best' in the noms stage!

I wd marry Time & Tide. I think it would marry me back, it's a marrying kind of movie.

I'm looking back at my list and finding some curious and disappointing omissions. I have several RC movies, but no AP13. This one should have been at least midway up my list.

the hurt locker and jarheads just jumble together in my mind to make one overloooong 7/10 movie where not much happens but soldiery lyfe is just so ~deep man~

Fuck why did I not vote for precinct 13 after my brilliant defense of it above

THL is way more fun than jarhead!

"... the fact that it's awesome!" is such a great way to describe all of carpenter's best flicks

^otm

Also lol at "hostage" and its opening scene, literally have no memory of that and the precinct remake now

its cool how i saw both of those movies only, like, 5-6 years ago, and can barely remember them in any way

I wd marry Time & Tide. I think it would marry me back, it's a marrying kind of movie.

― one little aioli (Laurel), Monday, February 13, 2012 12:39 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark

i really fucked up by not voting for any tsui hark.

MORE, GIVE US MORE.

That was to omar.

He said he had to go to work!

I wish I had voted. I never vote in any of these things and then always regret it.

Dirty Harry at 71???? Fuck all y'all

have 2 agree

wait a second, who gave con air a first place vote. i just noticed that!

that wd be me iirc

it's a bummer cos i haven't got time to chew the fat right now. i'll be back.

man this is weird i think i voted for almost everything thats shown up so far

i didnt vote for any of these :|

maybe that means all of yours are in the topsies

APOCALYPTO - i only started to really vibe this after tombot posted about it on ilx. lush and lurid.

VANISHING POINT - looking over my ballot i think chase movies are the type of action movies i like the best. something about the way it focuses the narrative i think i find it easy to identify with the pursued, the glorious recklessness of it.

CON AIR - this is a trashy movie in p much every way. what i think distinguishes it from more contemp over the top action films is how
straight the movie plays it, how it never really winks or stops to acknowledge how gratuitous and sometimes reprehensible it is. its view of criminals, woman, gays, humanity is terrible but it has the attraction of uncensored id before uncensored id was all you could get, i guess

BRANDED TO KILL - my #3. just owns.

Good results so far, voted for Die Hard 3 and Assault on Precinct

oh the first one in the series?

lol s1ocki too fast

monday with nothing to do iirc

~i'm back~

I wish I had voted. I never vote in any of these things and then always regret it.

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:18 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I always open the voting thread look at how long the list is get scared and close the thread

i always never vote until max badgers me into it

Yeah if max hadn't ordered me to come turn in a ballot I prob would have conveniently missed the cut-off because lazy.

LOOOOOOOL xp xp!

I voted once in something

Good results so far, voted for Die Hard 3 and Assault on Precinct 13.

I thought putting Temple of Doom in my ballot, but in the end left it out. All three 80s Indy movies are great, obviously, but they feel more like historical adventure than action to me. They have some great action scenes, but IMO for something to qualify as a proper "action movie", the main conflict in it should be resolved through physical action, and that isn't the case with Last Crusade, certainly not with Raiders of the Lost Ark. Temple of Doom is actually the most actiony of the three, which is why I considered voting for it.

i'm never confident enough in my opinions to vote in these things. also feel like i'm not familiar enough will all the noms to be a 'good voter'

oh shit i didnt realize this was happening

if raiders isnt an action movie, i'm handing in my fedora and quitting

do you remember that scene where that big ball rolled after indy? what would you call that?

yeah i had only seen like 1/3 of the films on the noms list at best, and havent seen a ton of legendary HK flicks. but thats okay! fuck foreign movies anyway

(xp to goole)

my list is pretty all-american but fuck it, if there's one thing hollywood did well in the last 35 years it was that

man wish tombot was around to have voted in this :-/

this is the first time i ever voted in a movie poll. i used to get kinda irrationally pissed at ilx movie talk. now i'm too old to care. time works magic.

should have badgered him out of retirement like u did me

this is the first time i ever voted in a movie poll. i used to get kinda irrationally pissed at ilx movie talk. now i'm too old to care. time works magic.

― scott seward, Monday, February 13, 2012 2:05 PM (7 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i feel like this poll is kind of a 'safe space'

on the other hand, ilx has gotten WAY more horror/action/etc friendly over time. much to dr. morbs' chagrin.

the era of the ilf crew ruining everything seems to be over

thank god.

i dont think i ended up including con-air on my list but if theres one thing to say about it (+ a lot of bruckheimer action films tho def not all) is how great the casting is. so stupid and trashy but why wouldnt you watch a movie with cage, buscemi, malkovich, colm meaney? dave chappelle? armaggedon is kinda like this too, makes up for a lot of failings w/ a killer cast

most movie threads are pretty dangerous still ime

heh one reason why i was into this poll is that i knew the film brigade would not be interested

at first i thought my ballot was kinda garbage but now im fine w/it - theres a bunch of stuff thatll show up where ill be like 'oh man why didnt vote for that' but who cares i really like all the movies i voted 4

yeah i spent like 20 minutes on my ballot just culling mostly. my top 10-15 is more or less "in order" but the rest was just kind of as i thought of stuff.

i pointedly left temple of doom off my ballot. if it had just been the first 20 minutes or so it mightve made it. or if no capshaw.

it was CONSPICUOUSLY absent from your ballot

do you remember that scene where that big ball rolled after indy? what would you call that?

You can have a movie with action scenes without it being an action movie. I know "action movie" is hard to define, but if you'd read my argument above, you'd at least see why I don't think RotLR or LC are ones.

this is the first time i ever voted in a movie poll. i used to get kinda irrationally pissed at ilx movie talk. now i'm too old to care. time works magic.

― scott seward, Monday, February 13, 2012 2:05 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I get irrationally intimidated by it. I hope one day to be too old to care too.

ToD would have definitely have been on mine. It's not the best IJ but it's my favorite.

i left temple of doom off because i already had SPOILER on my list. also temple of doom is my least favorite indy

lol no cusack?

You can have a movie with action scenes without it being an action movie. I know "action movie" is hard to define, but if you'd read my argument above, you'd at least see why I don't think RotLR or LC are ones.

― Tuomas, Monday, February 13, 2012 2:11 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think your definition is completely arbitrary. it's like saying a movie isn't a musical if the main conflict isnt resolved through song.

ToD in tons of Saturday morning matinee fun, except when she's screaming and whining.

Is tons.

wait how is the main conflict resolved in raiders if not through action

tuomas

smh

smh

s1ocki otm, LOTS of action movies are more about fx and thrill rides and monsters than violent conflict resolution

ya i would say god melting everyone is a pretty action-y move on His part

also temple of doom is my least favorite indy

behind Crystal Skulls???????????????

i just assume that's like saying jedi is my least fave star wars - the new ones arent even in the game

haha i forget that exists

i think your definition is completely arbitrary. it's like saying a movie isn't a musical if the main conflict isnt resolved through song.

I don't think these are comparable; in musicals the songs are storytelling vessels, in action movies the action is the story itself. You can take the plot of a musical, change all the music scenes to regular ones, and it'd still be the same basic plot. That's not the case with action movies, the story can't be told without the action.

this is the first time i ever voted in a movie poll. i used to get kinda irrationally pissed at ilx movie talk. now i'm too old to care. time works magic.

― scott seward, Monday, February 13, 2012 2:05 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

the existence of the old movie polls used to really bug me for some reason. i hated 'ilx list culture' for a long time. now idgaf

IT'S TOO LATE TO CHANGE THE NOMINATIONS, STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW

XP

Indiana and Marion leave Cairo to escort the Ark to England on board a tramp steamer. The next morning, their boat is boarded by the Nazis, who once again steal the Ark and kidnap Marion. Indiana stows away on their U-boat and follows them to an isolated island in the Aegean Sea where Belloq plans to test the power of the Ark before presenting it to Hitler. Indiana reveals himself and threatens to destroy the Ark with a rocket-propelled grenade launcher, but Belloq calls his bluff, knowing Indy cannot bear to eradicate an important historical artifact.
Indiana surrenders and is tied to a post with Marion as Belloq performs a ceremonial opening of the Ark, which appears to contain nothing but sand. Suddenly, spirits, which resemble the Old Testament description of seraphim, emerge from the Ark. Aware of the supernatural danger of looking at the opened Ark, Indiana warns Marion to close her eyes. The apparitions suddenly morph into demonic creatures, and lightning bolts begin flying out of the ark, gruesomely killing Belloq and the Nazis. The fires rise into the sky, then fall back down to Earth and the Ark closes with a crack of thunder.

^ yes, i can see how this movie is all resolved via quiet conversation and knowing looks

the action isn't the story tho.

I don't think these are comparable; in musicals the songs are storytelling vessels, in action movies the action is the story itself. You can take the plot of a musical, change all the music scenes to regular ones, and it'd still be the same basic plot. That's not the case with action movies, the story can't be told without the action.

It would not be a musical, though, which is the point being made.

oh tuomas. you've done it again.

if tuomas' definition is arbitrary, its no more arbitrary than your def

my definition is a movie that contains copious ass-kicking action and is cool

remaking action movies sans action would be an interesting enterprise

raiders ends up just being about a mildly successful archeological dig

if tuomas' definition is arbitrary, its no more arbitrary than your def

haha i agree with t-dawg's definition but i think hes misapplying to 'raiders'

wait how is the main conflict resolved in raiders if not through action

The conflict is resolved by the bad guys not knowing the history of the object they're dealing with and getting themselves killed by it. The hero survives because he has that knowledge and uses it. The same basic thing happens in Last Crusade. They're both about historical myths, about uncovering secret information, following a trail of clues to find a mythical object, having the knowledge of what it does. That's why I think they're more adventure movies than action. The physical action isn't essential to the main plot.

can we move on

the action isn't the story tho.

This coulb probably be said about any action movie except maybe Crank. Plus also, Lost Ark was obv made to be a thrill ride on the screen.

Until omar comes back and gives us the next 10 movies, misplaced micro-analysis is probably all we have to look forward to.

i mean "physical action isn't essential to the main plot" can we move on

haha i agree with t-dawg's definition but i think hes misapplying to 'raiders'

― (_()_) (Lamp), Monday, February 13, 2012 2:24 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

yeah totes. i mean i think of it as an 'adventure' movie first but it is also definitely a balls-to-the-wall action picture

GOD KILLS THE NAZIS VIA ACTION, THUS RESOLVING THE PLOT

so... melting faces and torsos with holes burned in them aren't physical action?

one of my fave archeologogical movies for sure

BUT IF IT'S GOD, IT'S NOT *PHYSICAL* ACTION. UNLESS GOD MANIFESTS HIMSELF AS BRUCE LEE AND KICKS NAZI ASS.

so... melting faces and torsos with holes burned in them aren't physical action?

By this definition every horror movie would be an action movie too.

nic cage steals the decleration of independence

Indiana Jones movies remind me of Before Sunset in that physical action is not essential to the main plot

Indiana Jones movies remind me of Before Sunset

Something that has never before, and will never again, been said.

my main point of semantic disagreement would be that an 'action movie' also uses action to define or develop character - something the indy movies def do - in addition to the way action furthers the plot. like i guess you could argue that belloq opening the ark isnt an 'action scene' but i think its impossible to create and define that character of indiana jones w/o the films action sequences

but i mean i also think that the plot is p extensively driven if not 'resolved' thru action so

the ending of raiders is sorta weird for its non-action aspect of indy being tied up and not doing anything except turning his head away from the bright light

Some horror movies are also action movies, yes.

indiana jones 4 should have just been indy and karen allen running into each other at his book signing, going for a walk and taking stock of how their lives have changed

Any stringent definition of "action movie" is going to fail and be applied in a way that was not intended by the author of the definition.

poll of yr favourite movies about choosing a cup

Some horror movies are also action movies, yes.

I totally agree. My point was just that faces melting per se doesn't make an action movie.

It will also probably annoy me and some others here.

2 girls 1 grail

camera lingers over a dusty old whip hanging from a hook, roll credits

Indiana Jones 4, directed by Woody Allen

Anyway, I don't disagree that "action" is probably the secondary genre of all Indy movies, after adventure. But I tried to limit my ballot to movies where I felt it was the primary genre.

"so, indy, any wild motorcycle chases lately?"
"are you kidding me? I'm a tenured professor in the fucking aarp. That'd be ridiculous."

do you think the Bond movies are action Tuomas?

arent all movies a bit of an adventure when u really think abt it

Anyway, I don't disagree that "action" is probably the secondary genre of all Indy movies, after adventure. But I tried to limit my ballot to movies where I felt it was the primary genre.

― Tuomas, Monday, February 13, 2012 2:35 PM (24 seconds ago) Bookmark

its more like 1a and 1b to me

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a comedy because it is often funny.

all movie plot are dependent on physical action. Even the assholes in Waking Life have to talk. Now if you want to say an action movie plot must be dependent on KICKING I'll read your pamphlet.

do you think the Bond movies are action Tuomas?

Depends on the Bond movie, I think. Some definitely are, some maybe aren't.

my dinner with andre: is it an action movie?

yes, someone has to pick up the check at the end or it can't end

THERE IS NO END...THEY ARE STILL NOT-EATING DINNER (because eating would be an action)

concievable

Chen Chen returns to the international compound of China only to learn of his beloved teacher's death. This is compounded by the continual racist harassment by the Japanese population in the area. Unlike his friends, he confronts it head on with his mastery of LITIGATION while investigating his teacher's murder.

if i remember TV Guide correctly, Raiders of the Lost Ark was classified as an "action/adventure" movie **** violence, adult situations. why can't it be both?

you keep saying that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. xxp

V surprised Dirty Harry and Assault on Precinct 13 aren't much higher. Con Air is a fine, fine film (tho no Rock) and have a big soft spot for ToD. MUST SEE Branded to Kill as near immediately as possible. Wd've voted, but yeah list intimidation/time constraints. No conceivable way I'm not going to enjoy the rundown.

did anyone actually vote for "the rundown," which is a pretty fresh action movie

i dig the rundown a lot, but i didnt vote for it

kinda wanna see it again, as i have no memory of it besides being somewhat charmed

time constraints- took me 20 mins, tho tbf it shows

im looking at my ballot now and i gave a 'joke' nom 40 points. kinda regretting that

which one

the s1ock charmed by the rock

rundown is not as awesome as it should be. didn't get a chance to vote but i'm excited to see the results.

should i say. ballot revealing isnt for after the results are all out!

:D xxp

isnt until

Fast Five may be the only action movie with the Rock that cuts the mustard imo

what about...

i dunno

not counting the self-parody stuff (other ones, get smart, reno 911 miami)

i strongly considered Fast Five, but i had to knock it for the rock/diesel fistfight not being badass enough for my tastes

which one

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Monday, February 13, 2012 2:49 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

okay it was The Pianist

Yeah, good point re: time constraints, and prob should have done that 20 min thing but I get into absurd anxiety over tiny choices and end up head in hands frowning at bits of paper and by god man look at yourself just leave it. christ millions of xposts to darragh

lol xp

the allies resolve WWII thru action i guess

shit i forgot super troopers

I bet u all forgot Buster Keaton too (srsly)

it's been so looong since i saw any of those indiana movies but i'm tempted to rewatch them after seeing 'the adventures of tintin' and really, really enjoying it, cuz i vaguely remember the indie movies having a similar vibe? it's strange but i'm more interested in action movies now than when i was a kid/teenager if only because i feel like i'm more able to get the action-defining-character phenom when it's done well.

xp i absolutely would've voted for 'the general', maybe top 5

I bet u all forgot Buster Keaton too (srsly)

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Monday, February 13, 2012 2:54 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cant remember if i put in any bk but SPOILERS safety last was in my top 10

but Safety Last is just one suspense effect over and over!

i felt bad for being bored by tintin. it was too long for me. but i saw it after work so i was beat. still two hours of tintin...cyrus loved it anyway. i wanted to be all awed and wowed by it.

I have a two hour limit for movies I watch in the theater. Sort of for movies in general too though. I often think anything longer than that is too much. TBH I'd prob prefer most movies at like 90 mins.

but Safety Last is just one suspense effect over and over!

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Monday, February 13, 2012 2:59 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

there are stunts in that movie that are still unequalled imho.

yeah 90 minutes or less is always appreciated. kinda like cd length. 45 minutes or less is great.

Agreed.

totally agree, and am completely appalled that over 2 hours is considered acceptable for like comedies these days (damn u apatow)

would have voted for hobo with a shotgun to be honest. given the option. should have given it a write-in vote. just thought of it.

I bet u all forgot Buster Keaton too (srsly)

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Monday, February 13, 2012 1:54 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes! I thought about steamboat or go west, but I stuck with the nom list and didn't write anything in.

cant remember if i put in any bk but SPOILERS safety last was in my top 10

Ditto!

i voted for The General, but i didnt give it many points

i almost did, but then, i didn't.

there's no reason to stick with the nom list! its just there to get yr juices flowin!

ya i didnt

instead of reading books with them i made the kids watch flash gordon the other night and i was surprised that it was almost two hours. didn't remember it being that long. worth every second though.

I misseed the general. Shame. It would have gotten some points.

I guess it was some ADD gal like youse who had her fucking phone out last weekend for the first 4 hours of Satantango

i hate add bela tarr fans

flash gordon feels 3 hours long tbh

i sat in a rickety chair in a little make-shift movie theatre on nantucket and watched my dinner with andre with my parents when i was a kid. i've done my time in the art house trenches. more sofas please!

some vacation. where's my disneyland dad!?

I wonder if any write-in candidates will make the top 65 or wherever we're at. The only one I think might is Haywire.

my disneyland with andre

for the first 4 hours

Christ. I couldn't handle that at all.

i doubt enough people have seen haywire, but who knows

s1ocki, I could tell she was some NY Mag-reading arriviste who came to New York bcz she watched "Sex & the City," she and her friends bolted at the dinner break.

lol

lotta people got fooled by that bela tarr-directed sex & the city episode

the Bergdorf Goodman Harmonies

s1ocki, I could tell she was some NY Mag-reading arriviste who came to New York bcz she watched "Sex & the City," she and her friends bolted at the dinner break.

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Monday, February 13, 2012 3:12 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is one of your all time greatest posts doc

p much everyone knows this subphylum of person in NY by now, they don't know ppl fart on the subway either.

i read ny mag fwiw

don't make me draw you a Venn diagram

wish I had voted

omar remains king of stills

max is a samantha iirc

oh totally

Morbs is more of a Miranda than Miranda

well, somebody finally said it.

me irl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHYA4eCbLkQ

ur a youtube clip

where are these other results, I hope omar didn't get in a car chase

also shouldn't it be the top 77 action movies

no

you've been gone for a while, old man

not long enough to forget that this ain't 77 and never damn was

maybe omar's heart will blow up if he doesn't drive a muscle car up an escalator and then have some public intercourse, but surely he could do that while posting form zing

You're an impatient lot. I think it's nice when the reveal threads take a while so people can talk about them. When they're posted too quickly it's all a blur and over too quickly and then I get sad.

Hthe fun of anticipation is the stimulation that causes the feeling of impatience.

e otm tbh more gaps btwn reveals

yeah we established in the noms thread that shots of the lead just sort of wandering about doing mundane stuff helped make 70s action films great, & this is the thread equivalent.

wandering around doing mundane stuff to random jazz horn riffs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3cmBnK-Izs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRbllqhjLXE&feature=related

randomly coming across the original Assault on Precinct 13 on late-night TV was like being ambushed

same but with They Live - easily the most significant running-across-a-random-movie-on-tv experience of my childhood

for me it was probably the flesh eaters. or don't look in the basement. or children shouldn't play with dead things.

'duel' was always on iirc

i hope #1 is 'inglourious basterds'

I just know omar is going to post the rest as soon as I leave the office, dammit.

unfortunately the rest will have to wait until tomorrow, i'm stuck in meetings all day and i'd hate to have my boss glance over and see me posting a still for *~SPOILER ALERT~* an action movie

could probably get a good fight scene out of it tho

thanks omar!!

by only beef tho is that you didn't bump the nominations thread w/ a link to this one so i missed all the fun today :(

http://www.redstaplerchronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/fight%20club.jpg

sorry gr80. i was being shot at, so i was pinned down in this thread and couldn't get over to the other one to bump it.

results will commence again tomorrow morning at 7 AM PDT, 10 AM eastern. going to try to get 20 films out before i head to work, to catch up to the pace.

you crazy bastard.

...good luck.

be sure to

http://gifninja.com/animatedgifs/440025/stick-around.gif

to see the rest.

ha

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/templedoom.jpg

^^ best shot in the movie. Just watched this the other night and it really stood out as a spectacular shot.

I remember going to Gatorland in Florida, where they claimed they trained/sourced the alligators used in this movie.

Man, this is old, but really funny:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aDFeFwxymA&feature=player_embedded

http://i.imgur.com/KlnUD.png

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1-oc8MHni8

Shit...voted in the nominating poll but not the actual one.

Temple of Doom is only the third best of the 80s Indys but still pretty damn good. Took me quite a long time to warm to, though. Didn't really get it til I started to see it as the "disreputable" Raiders. Like a tribute to those 40s serials with the racism and low taste in tact.

The Hurt Locker is awesome and definitely not Oscar bait. Every now and then the academy just gets it right.

Die Hard With a Vengeance is simply a joy. The ultimate ridiculous popcorn action flick. Really, only Raiders keeps it rom bing my fave action flick of all time.

I really need to finally see Branded To Kill and Con Air.

really sad that i'll miss all the countdown fun because of stupid time differences. awesome countdown, can't wait to see the rest. and glad to see far upthread that i wasn't the only tsui hark voter

For tht mattter need to see Apocalypto, Assault and Vanishing Point as well. Gotta emit tt the gay bashing scene excerpted in The Celluloiud Closet had always sorta scared me away from the latter.

*gotta admit

I voted Temple of Doom higher than the other 2 Indys because for whatever reason Temple of Doom was the one I had on tape when I was a kid and I would just watch it over and over. As an adult I can see that it's probably the worst of the three movies but it's hard to argue against 11 year old me.

as long as you accept that 11 year old you was racist I guess

Hey, I made Time and Tide my #2, so it should get a tiny boost. Whiiiich may be the only points it gets. ;_;

<3 harrison ford watches indiana jones

i love action movies like damn but i don't know how these threads work ohwell! will keep reading tho

could you guys start calling Black Hawk Down racist, please

Vanishing Point as well. Gotta emit tt the gay bashing scene excerpted in The Celluloiud Closet had always sorta scared me away from the latter.

Somebody could write a good article/essay about homo hitchhiker scenes in 70s road films. VP, Two-Lane, Five Easy Pieces all have 'em. Was this something that scared people back then?

And Mean Streets, sort of. (They weren't hitchhikers, though, and it wasn't a road movie.)

Apocalypto has no business working, but it totally does

next poll should be top 75 racist movies

laurel, time & time def still has a chance of placing, we're in the early stages here and i'm sure everyone's voted for this awesome movie. right everyone?

The lesbians in Five Easy Pieces never struck me as objects of fear/derision.

If I'd voted in this, Temple of Doom may have been my number 1.

The lesbians in Five Easy Pieces never struck me as objects of fear/derision.

Toni Basil's fairly chill, but Helena Kallianiotes comes off as such shrill harpy (or stereotypical cruel butch dyke) I imagine 1970 audiences may have cheered her getting thrown out of the car.

and in 2LB, Oates just snaps at H D Stanton, "I ain't got time for that!"

Black Hawk Down is like Assault on Precinct 13 in Somalia.

I interviewed Kal Penn once, and he related the total hell of going to school after the release of "Temple of Doom" and enduring weeks and weeks of racist teasing. "Oh, what do you have for lunch, Kal? Monkey brains?"

Huh. I brought up ToD in the context of "Short Round" in the Long Duk Dong thread yesterday. Nobody responded though.

Also, I didn't vote in this, but I would be surprised if Big Trouble in Little China didn't place. It would have been on my ballot, but I feel sorta weird about that too. Anyway, interesting after all the racism discussions of the last few weeks that people felt chill enough to vote for ToD.

Huh, I don't think of Big Trouble ... as racist. I think of it as pretty Chinese-forward, actually. Silly though it may be, Kurt Russell is definitely the comic relief buffoon, always out of his element and playing catch-up. How many fights begin with him immediately getting knocked out while his Chinese crew kicks ass?

Like, it's as if Kurt Russell were literally dropped in the middle of some crazy Chinese actioner, like Zu Warriors or something.

(Hmm, will Super Cop make the cut? Drunken Master 2? Any Hong Kong?)

Yeah, that was sorta the idea I forwarded in the LDD thread, but it's one of those things where I don't know if I'm being blind (see the billboards of Duluth).

My "weirdness" criteria being "would I feel comfortable suggesting to a Chinese friend that we watch this?" and my answer being "I hadn't thought of that before, but now it's bothering me."

Like, I certainly would feel like an ass suggesting to a South Asian friend that we watch Temple of Doom, for instance.

But Temple of Doom IS racist, quaintly, retro-y racist or no. Big Trouble essentially is a crazed wuxia film.

I don't know enough about Chinese cinema to be able to acknowledge or refute there. I totally assume that it was made with those intentions, and I love the movie. I'm just not sure how it comes off.

I would err on the side of defending it too. It's just I'm not confident.

shit forgot the other guys too

Apocalyptico is definitely pro-hick.

rewatching temple of doom like 5 years ago i really was blown away by how incredibly racist it was (and how it ended with the colonial british saving the day)

however, the fact that black hawk down can be compared to it, and that some ppl like that film, completely absolves it of course

We all know that the colonial British were about ending child labor abroad and returning property to the locals so ToD was historically accurate imho

I'll just let Armond take over, bye

http://www.sensesofcinema.com/wp-content/uploads/images/20/armond.jpg

Thanks, Doc. And now, my picks for more of the best action movies of all time.

It's been a while since I saw it, but I think Short Round even gets his own Asian-y John Williams motif.

so you're saying it's not an action movie it's a racist movie

It's most of an action-racist movie.

Action-racist-adventure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtvwFLIEkK0

i guess technically in TOD the plot IS resolved thru racism

contains mild yellow peril

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/sincity.jpg

#65

SIN CITY

Robert Rodriguez & Frank Miller
2005
United States
(174 pints, 5 votes)

Guns & tittays & old cars & hot chicks & cool music & interior monologues & rear-projection & killer ninja hookers & more guns!

The pacing was off on a coupla places, but i thought the rest of the flick flowed quite well. Plus, it was hilarious to hear the "(Not Quite) Peter Gunn Theme" play thru-out.

― kingfish van pickles (Kingfish)

Everybody BUT me seemed to love it, and I was kind of sad that I couldn't feel the same way. When you take away the movie's relation/debt to its source material, it seemed like so much wank-fodder for the CRWs of this world. It was just adolescent in a really terrible way, and I say this as a married man in his mid-to-late 20s who has a stack of comic books on his nightstand and has spent most of the morning falling off of a skateboard.

I totally give credit for the film for getting that comic book interior monologue thing down, but yet this also made for an incredibly dull film. I just failed to find entertainment in being treated to image after image of ACTION paired with that utterly relentless voiceover. Any drama/tension in the film just seemed to come from the voiceover or occasionally an ironic interplay between voiceover and image that seemed very one-note after half an hour. I have just never felt so passive and fidgety while watching an action film, couldn't engage with it at all.

― Airtube (nordicskilla)

I was very torn by this movie. On the one hand: totally gorgeous looking, fantastically complete and immersive visual world, non-stop action, well edited, thoroughly "entertaining", fun fun fun. So it totally works at being what it's trying to be, which is a film adaptation of a comic book. So it's not as if it's a failure, and the reviews which allege that it is too violent clearly just don't get the horror/comic book context, nor do I buy the idea that it's ultimately "dull" because it's so focused. So on all those fronts, it's a great film as an experience for the eyes and ears. On the other hand: what we have is a film adapatation of a comic book adaptation of noir as a template, so this triple amplified chain of exaggerrating something that was an exaggerration of something that was already very crude becomes very dodgy in relation to gender and how "maleness" and "femaleness" get visually realized and scripted. I found it a kind of embarassing reductio ad absurdum of cartoon lovin' fanboy heterosexual male desire: hookers (with hearts of gold!) innocent wittle schoolgirls (that you get to watch grow up just enough so that you can fuck them! and when you do it's because THEY PUSH THEMSELVES ON YOU! yeah that happens ALL the time!) ie. there's this fucked up centrifugal engine at work in which women are desirable yet continually the objects of extremely sadistic violent energies- the plots try to resolve this thorugh splitting- there is the "evil psychopath" who incarnates the direct sexual sadism (the bad guys) and then there are the good guys who as vigilante figures outside the law etc. just go out and seek to do good in the name of the ladies they love (the absent "good" women who sit on the sidelines and suffer, and look awfully good as they suffer) which makes them laughably improbable and corny, and the whole thing, when viewed coldly and dispassionately, looks pretty sad, a pure distillation of adolescent flight from what sex is like, what interactions between men and women are like, the compromises and shadings of, um, actual human people. So yes the picture succeeds at being a gorgeous comic book, but in the process the intensely adult precision of its art direction and focus reveals very clearly that it was made by people who know that these plotlines and characters are utterly flat and clichéd which means that you have a creeping sensation of void or flight that washes over you.

To put it another way: The question for Rosario isn't "omg, you played a prostitute, that must have been hard, eh?" but "geeze isn't it corny that somebody is so out of touch with what an actual prostitute's life is like that they when they stage a gang of prostitutes they basically look like Tekken fighters as dressed by Hot Topic?". I know the knee jerk response is Dude, it's a comic book what do you expect? to which I would reply "the plot of your comic book makes the way you think about women and the way you think about yourself extremely obvious, and the relentless violence of that vision and the virgin/whore clichés that drive your fantasies seem really obvious and worn-out".

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel)

i've always enjoyed sin city comics in the same way i like chick comics, similar cartoonish bleakness, better art/design in sin city comics, better plots in chick comics. trying to say anything about comics or noir in general based on either is a bit ludicrous. i enjoyed the movie despite itself, except for some bad acting everything i didn't like i was familiar with from the comics and some things that were boring cliche in the comic were fun ridiculous cliche in the movie. the movie was much much more ridiculous (or at least the process of making it a movie, having people say what amster called on this thread or the other that 'looney tunes dialogue' out loud, brought the corniness/ridiculousness to the fore) than the comic, punctured the pofaced 'seriousness' of miller's schtick. i also really like that a movie with nudity in it is number one in america and really really really really like that a movie in which the hero kills a priest and a cardinal and the audience roots for it is number one the weekend the pope dies.

― j blount (papa la bas)

"amster" makes me sound like a light beer!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist))

DUDE, SIN CITY WAS GREAT!

o god u guys

much like the comics, the marv segment is the only one i really dig.

kind of amazed anyone still remembers/thinks enough about this movie to vote for it

i felt weird enough voting for the matrix

"the plot of your comic book makes the way you think about women and the way you think about yourself extremely obvious, and the relentless violence of that vision and the virgin/whore clichés that drive your fantasies seem really obvious and worn-out"

But the short version of this is just "you are Frank Miller"

definitely did not vote for sin city, Pee-U

also ridic that this would place above temple of doom, as long as we're talking about TOD

(not that I'm suggesting "you know what you're getting" is any excuse at all for anyone voting for it)

Yeah I feel bad for all the previous movies now.

mickey rourke only reason to watch sin city imo

also drew d otm

i was astonished that SC was a huge hit. that was a big 'i guess i dont know what the public REALLY wants' moment

i will never forgive sin city for all of its gross copycats

and for the spirit

everything on this thread is coming thru a smeary haze of "got more points than Dirty Harry" right now. what the fuck is wrong with proper action movies with cops and real locations and totaly realistic gun battles ffs?

For me personally, what is wrong with them is the presence of cops and gun battles.

http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/userpics//SinCity19020502.jpg?0.4489767318514257

COOL DUDES

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/infernalaffairs.jpg

#64

INFERNAL AFFAIRS

Wai-Keung Lau & Alan Mak
2002
Hong Kong
(179 points, 6 votes)

Infernal Affairs: slow burning, Hong Kong set cop thriller; (no kung-fu or much John Woo'esque gunplay, so "progressive"; interesting concept of police mole in gang/ gang mole in police / identity crisis; looks good; leads all very sexy; 6/10

― Nik (Nik)

Infernal Affairs was good, if confusing at times. wait, is he the undercover policeman or the criminal mole? does the one know about the other? oh, he didn't realise who it was because he could only see the back of his head...

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs)

nothing cool about being in some wanky goth cartoon imo

the "both dudes discover each other" scene in IA is so, so good. departed kinda blew that part.

not many good comments on this one unfortch

i wonder what the literal translation of the title is

Warming to Sin City now Action Movie Rockism is a thing.

IA also has excellent "technology as magic" scene.

according to google the literal translation of 無間道 is "No secret passage"

infernal affairs > the departed

I really need to see IA.

i amn't rockist about much but i am mad rockist about Action Movies and about comics being for 10 year-olds

and for the spirit

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, February 14, 2012 10:23 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha this was one of those movies where u wonder if the people who made it had ever seen a movie before

infernal affairs is p cool

they had, they had seen one movie, and that movie was sin city

hah

Anyone ever see the other two Infernal Affairs? I have the three-movie boxed set, but I've never felt the need to see the sequels.

i have it too and have not seen the sequels, ha

one is a prequel right?

yeah, the second one

infernal affairs is dope and more set-piece-y than the departed but it never occurred to me to even consider it for this poll

^^^

its more of a thriller tho isnt it

haha that Sin City thread is great

im trying to remember if i voted for it? did i? it would be kinda silyl, cuz i dont remember any of the 'action' in it at all

infernal affairs 2 is arguably better than the first.

haven't seen IA3

it had some shooting, maybe an occasional running

Ô_o

we should do a thrillers poll, thrillers is the best genre

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/demoman.png

#63

DEMOLITION MAN

Marco Brambilla
1993
United States
(184 points, 6 votes)

I saw this in the theater and thought it was probably the worst movie I had ever seen at that point in my life. It probably is not that bad but I really don't think it had a lot of wiggle room for improvement.

― i love you but i have chosen snarkness (Steve Shasta)

totally a classic - has aged really well too - anyone who doesnt love it has no soul

― My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Princess TamTam)

I love this movie! I was reading online somewhere where it was being called an awesomely bad movie, but I would argue that this movie is just straight-up fun.

― Peyton Flanders (Nicole)

C/D: "Demolition Man" (1993)

okaaaaaay.

sorry those should say #62 (TIE)

i had demo man on my initial ballot but took it off after some soul searching, because the action in it is pretty perfunctory. it's a sick movie though, love it

i couldn't bring myself to see spirit. despite my long boyhood love for eisner. just couldn't do it. sin city LOOKED cool. and that was about what it had going for it. and that's it.

lmao i forgot all about this movie, sorta wish id put it on my ballot.

John Spartan: Hey Luke Skywalker, use the force.

hahahaha this poll is turning awesome

i like the premise of Demolition Man but i don't think it fully delivers

What is wrong with you people.

infernal affairs is a slow burn, it seems kind of low key and procedural but by the end I was all invested and amped up

don't know how much that experience gets soured by knowing all the twists in a post-departed world

Kind of surprised Demolition Man's not higher - I think of it as the kind of movie that ILX helped me feel good about loving. Also, it's great.

Demolition Man is the unfrozen caveman cop movie, right? I more or less conflate this and Judge Dredd.

i haven't seen demolition man since 1993! well, maybe once or twice on t.v. since then. will watch any sly at any time day or night for the most part. would watch this right now if it were on.

i literally have not seen it since VHS

haha xp

Does this mean Tango & Cash is going to make the cut? And about 10 other Sly movies?

Infernal Affairs I&II are both straight excellent. IA III got bad reviews iirc, but I thought it was just as good, taking insane paranoia to a level where it becomes hallucinatory.

ah, xposts.

Also, didn't know we were voting for camp value itt.

i watched DM recently on tv, its p rad imho

I'm a little surprised only 7 of us voted Dirty Harry.

its a good movie, but i would say the action isnt just perfunctory, its kinda lame. its a tricky choice because its not a movie i appreciate for its asskicking elements (and really, snipes vs sly shouldve been such a no-brainer - they dropped the ball)

it was weird but also apt finding out that the director only did one feature and mostly just does video installations. i think the same guy did that crazy kanye Power video!

WAIT FUCK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU DEMOLITION MAN

the spirit seemed confused about whether it was a note-perfect spoof of sin city or not, but i kinda loved it anyway.

i feel like camp, whilst not essential, is a key element of a lot of great action flicks

everything about that movie was pure shit

tied w/Demolition Man:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/taken-3.png

#62 (TIE)

TAKEN

Pierre Morel
2008
United States/France
(184 points, 6 votes)

taken was pretty rad for a movie about how if you go to france u will be kidnapped by muslims and the french police wont help u

― max

yah idg why ppl like taken is it entirely for lols like i have said before the premise of this movie is that there are teenage girls who like u2

― plax (ico)

i loved taken's monstrous xenophobia so much

he just left that blonde chick from gossip girl chained to a bed in brothel needle in her arm dead

also he shoots the french cop's wife

so great

― WINNING. (Lamp)

i feel like 'taken' is a movie that might contain the most pimp of all his performances

― the gush of yesterday (omar little)

LIAM NEESON

still have to see this

im astonished that you havent!

now that's how you do a racist-action movie

me too :(

i have a v particular set of skills

taken is one of the greatest examples of the power of a badass speech. that speech sold the movie all by itself. the hand to hand action in it is pretty cool, but the car chase was draggy for me. i dig that its only like 90 minutes

they shouldve just called it neo-con bourne

I don't even know what Taken is.

yeah this movie is SWEET and SO RACIST/conservative/fucked up

i love movies with badass speeches :(

What, is that the Liam Neeson reboot as action star vehicle?

i will find u and i will kill u

taken was pretty rad for a movie about how if you go to france u will be kidnapped by muslims and the french police wont help u

― max, Saturday, February 14, 2009 7:34 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

also the only way to not die at the hands of french muslims is to be a virgin

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Sunday, March 8, 2009 3:59 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. I also cook.

i felt a bit dirty after it finished but i was laughing pretty solidly along the way and yes brevity is good

its a cool speech by itself, but combining it with neeson's trademark mega-intensity... damn. damn!!!

Man the apparent "let's not even bother to tell the other girl's parents and just have a happy reunion at the airport" thing (SPOILER ALERT) is like one of the greatest dropped plot threads EVAR.

tightest movie imo

I would like to know if it is popular in Albania.

neeson is really well cast. hes so tall, too, and sorta hunched over, like he just seems like a guy that would throw you out a window

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/madmax-1.jpg

#61

MAD MAX

George Miller
1979
(196 points, 6 votes)

I think Mad Max probably affected me in the same way that Star Wars affected the people who were a few years older.

― walter kranz (walterkranz)