LOL this f***ing EXCELSIOR for christs sake

lock this fucking thread for christs sake

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Thursday, June 18, 2009 9:56 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

cosign; somebody start something new and non-tomato based

― (pronounced /ˈfɑrv/sklOf/tO/fewˈ/) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:27 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

like a UK pizza?

― snoball, Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:31 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh thank god

all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "EXCELSIOR! "... and I'll look down and whisper "LOL"

from here on in

thank you, thank you, thank you

first person to post a lurid vegetable to this thread should realize that "ban user from thread" is a mod option btw

haha i was about to pre-emptively use that function

hahahaha

wait, is this the new tomato based pun thread? i missed the great puns last night and now i'm trying to ketchup.

free dom passato

Do we need to lock this one too now?

sonned by a greenfly in a beef tomato

I'm just SBing willy-nilly now

posted this on noise lol, might as well post it here too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ0nE1u7cv4

Can we lock this thread and start over?

x-post because really it should just be posted everywhere possible in the world

You got me lockin' and a-LOLlin'
Lockin' and, uhhhhhhh, leelin'
Barbara Ann

this thread sucks

YOU KNOW THERE'S FUTURE PARLIAMENT OUT THERE ZINGING?

yeah dan start another one pls

I vote that as a precautionary measure we should never start an Excelsior thread ever again.

this thread sucks

http://aycu36.webshots.com/image/50755/2002332608053518241_rs.jpg

^^^ :D

how about:

Some dialogue from "Happy Feet" ?

and you will always be worthy of this...

...our brave penguin nation. Excelsior!

Ocean, here I come!

You know what? We're gonna have

a little graduation ceremony of our own.

-You mean it, Ma?

-You betcha.

-Excelsior!

-Excelsior!

Keep it down.

those who posted in this thread will really have to step it up save their heinz imo

to* save, ugh

:-( stop pls

has anyone forwarded a link of this thread to matos yet maybe it will make him come back??

i wish bloody Mary would post again

Stop squirming, I can't aim the tomato.
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:10 (4 years ago)

there are only 12 posters on ilx - the rest are paste

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/4/45/Stop_posting.jpg

ftr I'm not starting a new thread

i think ken's post deserves some kind of awful trophy.

excelsior threads always start with a flurry of sixty complaint posts

except the last one

The Australian ilxors haven't been too impressed with this so far either - gaz's "patchy, yo" being a typical response

there's all salsa problems with this thread

Careful u get SB'd by Viney G.

was this guy drunk?

http://www.jwschwarz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/daughter-country-star-wars.jpg

― scott seward, Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:32 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"not necessarily in that order"

several things spring to mind:

1) what happens if he loses weight?
2) what happens if he fathers another child? where's the tattoo going to go?
3) why no Star Destroyers or Y Wings? Calamari cruisers?
4) dare we ask if he has anything tattooed on his backside?

yeah I don't think this dude needs to worry about reproducing again

If I was a tattoo artist I would have just drawn a huge cock on his back and then run away...

4) dare we ask if he has anything tattooed on his backside?

The Dark Side.

If he's a flasher it would be the Dark Side of the moon...

pretty sure it's The Dank Side

4) dare we ask if he has anything tattooed on his backside?

a lightsabre is the only logical conclusion

(xpost) Slimey? Mudhole?

"I'll get a round in" "Happy days", "Her cancer is receding" "Happy days", "I am eating a bar of chocolate" "Happy days!"

Am I the only person who sang this in their head to the TV theme?

― Matt DC, Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:21 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(xxpost to ken c) also I'm pretty sure that someone like that would save the lightsaber tattoo for their gentlemen's area

the twin sun system of tatooine could be apt..

I'm sure his perineum is a near lifeless desert. Watch out for the sarrlac...

I hate you.

who parked sandcrawlers in your... ok no.

Nien Numb Nuts

guys, fyi upthread i posted an essential video

if that's the kind of shit you see on drugs, no wonder she jumped out of a window

pretty sure this thread still sucks

no thanks to you

you're right!

The tattooed person upthread is a woman.

Can't believe you people kept this puréel nonsense going all day.

yeah, this thread is going to have to be liquidated before it's cultural mash-ups place too much of a strain on the system...

"She was placed on five years probation, banned from owning or controlling animals and was told not to go within 100 yards of a rabbit."

Sing a rainbow

In secondary school I was in the top year, and my brothers in the bottom year. One day my history teacher, from the vantage point of a window on the third floor, looking down at the playground, said 'What the hell's going on there?'

Naturally we crowded round the window and I could see Mr Tompkinson, chemistry teacher, standing in the centre of a circle of children, one of whom was one of my brothers, who were walking round him, while he shouted at them.

Later I asked my brother what on earth had been going on. He reminded me that Mr Tompkinson had had a car accident in which he had taken a bump on the head and had only returned to school a couple of weeks previously.

My brother then went on to explain that they would regularly hide equipment in the classroom to make Mr Tompkinson think he had amnesia. He was behaving quite erratically anyway, apparently, increasingly so.

Then one day, Mr Tompkinson was talking about prisms and asked what colours you could see. No one could be bothered to answer, or perhaps they genuinely didn't know, anyway, he completely snapped and started shouting about rainbows.

Then he got everyone to file out of the classroom, stand in the playground and walk in a circle round him singing I Can Sing A Rainbow while he yelled 'SING IT! SING IT! RED! AND YELLOW! AND PINK! AND GREEN!' etc.

He retired shortly after.

― GamalielRatsey, Thursday, June 18, 2009 2:37 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

:o

Not in front of the children.

lolllllllllllll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMADJcimnds

ymmv

4) dare we ask if he has anything tattooed on his backside?

The Dark Side.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:18 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

If he's a flasher it would be the Dark Side of the moon...

― snoball, Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:18 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

pretty sure it's The Dank Side

― HIS VAGINA IS MAKING HIM CRAVE SALAD. (HI DERE), Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:20 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

4) dare we ask if he has anything tattooed on his backside?

a lightsabre is the only logical conclusion

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:21 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(xpost) Slimey? Mudhole?

― snoball, Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:22 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"I'll get a round in" "Happy days", "Her cancer is receding" "Happy days", "I am eating a bar of chocolate" "Happy days!"

Am I the only person who sang this in their head to the TV theme?

― Matt DC, Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:21 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― HIS VAGINA IS MAKING HIM CRAVE SALAD. (HI DERE), Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:23 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(xxpost to ken c) also I'm pretty sure that someone like that would save the lightsaber tattoo for their gentlemen's area

― snoball, Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:24 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the twin sun system of tatooine could be apt..

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:25 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I'm sure his perineum is a near lifeless desert. Watch out for the sarrlac...

― snoball, Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:35 PM

98. Laura Cantrell – When the Roses Bloom Again
97. Lucinda Williams – Car Wheels on a Gravel Road
96. Gillian Welch – Time (The Revelator)

― anagram, Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:39 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

95. Waylon - Dreaming My Dreams
94. Merle - Same Train, Different Time

― QuantumNoise, Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:58 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

93. Bill Monroe - The Essential Bill Monroe and His Blue Grass Boys (1945-1949)

― QuantumNoise, Thursday, June 18, 2009 10:59 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

92. Loretta Lynn - Loretta Writes Em & Sings Em
91. Charlie Rich - The Fabulous Charlie Rich
90. Waylon Jennings - Honky Tonk Heroes
89. Willie Nelson - Phases & Stages
88. Willie Nelson - Shotgun Willie
87. Willie Nelson - Red Headed Stranger

― m coleman, Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:03 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

86. Ray Price - Night Life

― ^ persecutes Christians (will), Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:06 AM

<object width="1" height="1"><param name="movie" value="http://www.limmy.com/tricks/redirector.swf";;></param><param name="FlashVars" value="url=www.google.com"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.limmy.com/tricks/redirector.swf";; FlashVars="url=HTTP://www.google.com";; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="1" height="1"></embed></object>

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Sunday, June 7, 2009 3:05 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

<object width="1" height="1"><param name="movie" value="http://www.limmy.com/tricks/redirector.swf";;;></param><param name="FlashVars" value="url=http://www.google.com";;><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.limmy.com/tricks/redirector.swf";;; FlashVars="url=HTTP://www.google.com";;; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="1" height="1"></embed></object>

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Sunday, June 7, 2009 3:05 PM (1 week ago)

was just coming here to post that

It's between "hilair" and "totes" for me, those are pretty much the worst.

Although living with an Australian has made me realise that virtually every bit of slang they have ending with an 'ie' is terrible. "Tinnie", "stubbie", "sleepie" etc. It actively makes me want to grab him by his shoulders and shake him and shout "shut up" repeatedly.

― Matt DC, Thursday, June 18, 2009 6:16 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I quite like 'tinnie', but what's a 'sleepie'?

― Ismael Klata, Thursday, June 18, 2009 6:34 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

tinnie = can of beer
sleepie = the rohypnol that goes in the beer

― cozwn, Thursday, June 18, 2009 6:37 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lollie

totes hilair

http://www.legendspublishing.net/images/HilaireVince22.jpg

I can't deseed whether Max is genuinely above all this shit or merely goddamn cranky

― gosh I actually dig this shit (country matters), Friday, June 19, 2009 2:51 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

not mutually exclusive

but lol @ "deseed"

― all art is propaganda (kenan), Friday, June 19, 2009 2:56 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Louis dude, never use the word 'deseed' in my presence ever again.

― Matt DC, Friday, June 19, 2009 2:57 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

just got matt dc'd

― gosh I actually dig this shit (country matters), Friday, June 19, 2009 2:58 AM Bookmark

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/anarmyofnone/uroboros.jpg

86. Ray Price - Night Life

― ^ persecutes Christians (will), Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:06 AM

― am0n, Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I've sat on this for a long while and even googled things regarding it, but I still need this lol explained.

Googling tells me he's a christian artist, so maybe that.

How unlike a country artist to be a Christian

Maybe because Willie Nelson wrote that song, but he picked a non-Willie version? That hardly seems worth a lol, though.

its an inside joke from 77

'k.

much funnier than tomato puns obv

^^^ smear campaign

Even if I'd been there, I kinda think I'd still think tomato puns are funnier. But I'm just that lame.

no i think it does make a difference what sauce the joke comes from.

So the voice control works for the iPod functions, right? That sounds like the most amazing thing ever.

― death from abroad (lukas), Friday, June 19, 2009 9:55 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeh "play music", "pause music", "play more songs like this", "play album Boxer" all work. "Play music by Aphex Twin" makes it call my mate big Tom, so dunno about that.

― stet, Friday, June 19, 2009 9:59 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I've sat on this for a long while and even googled things regarding it, but I still need this lol explained.

― all art is propaganda (kenan), Friday, June 19, 2009 7:59 AM

i think quinoa is more flavorful than rice or couscous, but if you find it lacking then definitely serve it as a base with spicy or otherwise heavily seasoned curries/stews/casseroles. using it in cold salads is a good idea as well, as the grains absorb flavors and stand up better to refridgeration than rice does.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, August 18, 2005 8:12 AM (3 years ago)

I actually think quinoa is great! It's one of my cheap-ass staple foods. Besides the obvious flavor-fixes (soak / boil it in some flavorful stock), it's easy to dress-up with a little mint, lemon-honey vinagerette and tomato as mock-tabbouleh.

Olive oil, pine-nuts (walnuts, what-have-you), scallions and orange make a nice salad.

Basically any rice or cous-cous pilaf can be adapted to quinoa, amaranth, or (my favorite) wheat-berries. The lone caution I'd have about this is that many of these other grains tolerate salt less happily than rice/pasta products.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, August 18, 2005 4:28 PM

o snap

http://www.36rcm.com/aircraft/noseart/images/jiglarge.jpg

lollll

HA

i only just realised that the lightning bolt is smashing up a swastika. not sure what the star's deal is.

It is the universal symbol of "owie."

it means we can all be stars once swastikas everywhere are electrocuted

We are all made of Nazi stars

It is the universal symbol of "owie."

would've preferred a small speech bubble saying "oof" but cool

on the face of a teenage mother called Kimberley...

xpost

there are a lot of places, on the internet and elsewhere, to find "yummy places," where i dont have to read 800-word parody-raps about the quality of a restaurants tapas

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 19 June 2009 02:24 (13 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

custos is a yelper?

― velko, Friday, 19 June 2009 02:32 (13 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Edited:

Also she didn't give away 24 songs (she was sharing 1,700 or so.) The RIAA just chose to focus on 24 songs.

― Alex in SF, Friday, June 19, 2009 12:02 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

apparently these are the songs :

01 Mr.C - “Cha Cha Slide”
02 MC Hammer - “The Addams Family”
03 Los del Rio - “Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)”
04 Del Shannon - “Runaround Sue”
05 New Kids on the Block - “The Right Stuff”
06 Phil Collins - “Sussudio”
07 Def Leppard - “Pour Some Sugar on Me”
08 Baha Men - “Who Let the Dogs Out”
09 Aerosmith - “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”
10 Beach Boys - “Kokomo”
11 America - “Muskrat Love”
12 Rupert Holmes - “Escape (The Pina Colada 13 Song)”
14 Don McLean - “American Pie”
15 Eminem - “The Real Slim Shady”
16 Peter Frampton - “Baby I Love Your Way”
17 Phil Collins - “You Can’t Hurry Love”
18 The Knack - “My Sharona”
19 Tommy Tutone - “867-5309/Jenny”
20 America - “A Horse With No Name”
21 Terry Jecks - “Seasons in the Sun”
22 Lou Bega - “Mambo #5”
23 Bon Jovi - “Living on a Prayer”
24 Europe - “The Final Countdown”

― vain_bowers, Friday, June 19, 2009 12:20 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

12 Rupert Holmes - “Escape (The Pina Colada 13 Song)”
14 Don McLean - “American Pie”

if either of those were gonna be 12 and 13 you'd think it'd be "American Pie"

"Terry Jecks"

This...

http://i612.photobucket.com/albums/tt203/pplains/phpatplanent.jpg

...is so great.

has anyone forwarded a link of this thread to matos yet maybe it will make him come back??

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:26 AM (3 days ago)

i think i just got this

Vaginasore Jr.

Real band. No shit.

― ian, Sunday, June 21, 2009 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://www.myspace.com/vaginasorejr

― ian, Sunday, June 21, 2009 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

is VaJayJay Mascis the singer?

― Dr Morbius, Sunday, June 21, 2009 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sick of pretending that my partner is out of town on business and that the stains on the patio are motor oil.

― napoleon_dynarod, Sunday, 21 June 2009 23:29

http://11.media.tumblr.com/37jsqloFrnybstrr0U82B9THo1_500.jpg

Dude is gonna regret that sophomore year.

he will have it covered up via making it a stack of pizza boxes

^

talking to my friend Caleb the other day about all the goths he grew up with in Colora with solo black sleeve tattoos--either to cover up swastikas or straight edge tattoos.

what is "perks"?

Perks of Being a Wallflower - I think. It's def the odd one out.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01129/arts-graphics-2008_1129725a.jpg

oh no

tl;dlol

the stretch marks just sort of crown it

What s1ocki said + WHY WOULD ANYONE ON EARTH THINK THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA!

he forgot the period at the end of the last sentence

unless the period is that guy asking to fight you

awesome font tho

talking to my friend Caleb the other day about all the goths he grew up with in Colora with solo black sleeve tattoos--either to cover up swastikas or straight edge tattoos.

I knew a dude who had a large straight edge "X" tattooed on his neck, he changed it to skull and crossbones when he started drinking again.

Suggest ill-advised tattoo thread.

There already is one:

Considering a tat....what should I get?

http://www.amazon.com/No-Regrets-Worst-Ridiculous-Tattoos/dp/0446582077

The cover of that book is :0

Nike logo is ridiculous - didn't the guy think, while he was lying face down and the tattooist was filling it in, that it may have been possibly a bad idea? Something along the lines of "mmm, I'll never be able to wear just a white shirt again, without kids following me down the street pointing and laughing..."

Garou: Mark of the Wolves

The latest classic fighting game to make its way to XBLA with online play. Only 800 points. This Wednesday. Anybody else on here planning to pick it up?

― Jeff LeVine, Monday, June 22, 2009 3:06 PM (9 minutes ago)

Still holding out for GARU G: MARK OF THE GRAN'S FLANGE myself

― Colonel Poo, Monday, June 22, 2009 3:07 PM (8 minutes ago)

I can't even figure out what part of the body the fight club tat is on.

the part that hasn't been in a fight ever

i dont know. those stretch marks suggest at least a battle of the bulge.

our great depression diet is our lives

i for one think it's admirable that shakey is able to type all this to us after 25 hours of keeping his arms folded

― my mans paul tsongas (some dude), Monday, June 22, 2009 1:33 PM (55 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

If I were going to get a bunch of books tattooed on myself like that one guy, I would at least try to get them SORTA to scale

I mean, it looks like he's a fan of the large-print edition of Catcher in the Rye

that's a nice big edition of BNW tho

― some dudes are bigger than others (s1ocki), Monday, June 22, 2009 12:05 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

must be large print

― some dudes are bigger than others (s1ocki), Monday, June 22, 2009 12:05 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

funny how hes got that big catcher in the rye book

as tho its the large print edition

the words "catcher in the rye", so big. large print?

CATCHER IN THE RYE

must be an ALL CAPS edition

http://www.bridgeplayerstheatre.com/LargePrintSymbol.gif

Do you think a Shaw Alphabet edition would be a little thinner?

just imagine the kerning on that weighty tome

Catcher&
Rye&
Large&
Print

for ILX Large Print Edition press ctrl and + repeatedly (Firefox only)

FOUNTAINHEAD

Large Tomato Print

nice big appendix inside that fountainhead

Lucky he didn't have a tattoo of that Brian Eno diaries book...

what is PERKS btw

oh wait, just saw enbb's post

why do I feel like s1ocki is mocking me for making a joke he would make, on another thread

http://www.randomn3ss.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/bad_tattoo.jpg

guys take it to the thread that's about what you're talking about

http://www.isleofhue.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/bad_tattoos_091.jpg

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.stylelist.com/blog/media/2009/02/tatt.jpg

haha he's 11

and that's sharpie

"your delt", it's on his shoulder, see

lol forearms large print lol

http://www.randomn3ss.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/bad_tattoo.jpg

The message here is kinda undermined by the fact he got dealt a royal flush.

(x-post)

That's one scary God!

i think that's the point, he is saying i am winner

his cards are on fire, no one will ever know his hand

goddam puzzle cards corner pieces always falling off i hate that

So it doesn't matter what cards you got dealt in life as long as you set them on fire?

yes go with that tuomas

haha he's 11

― harbl, Monday, June 22, 2009 2:05 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Pretty sure J0rdan S. is college-age.

I hope that isn't his solution to unwanted babies and stuff like that.

guys take it to the thread that's about what you're talking about

http://casualiscool.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/forrest-gump.jpg
life is just like a playing card jigsaw that's been set on fire, er, you never know what you're gonna get

lyfe srsly

"your delt" = his delts. Maybe.

i think it's large print

Punctuation not the worst thing about that tattoo

if they are such big books, why isn't there room for articles on the spines of what I always knew as The Catcher In The Rye and The Fountainhead

haha or the full perks of a teenage lady or whatever that's called

The Perks Of Being Pure At Heart

PERKS

wait, what book is Perks?

That's the other thing that's weird - I didn't realize that it was considered enough of a standard to be abbreviated like that.

i knew kids in high school who were obsessed with that book and would refer to it as perks--they were all in drama club.

if they are such big books, why isn't there room for articles on the spines of what I always knew as The Catcher In The Rye and The Fountainhead

― combination pizza hut and koala taco bell (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, June 22, 2009 9:41 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's like he's had the titles done in large print, because he is stupid.

lol i bet the whole books are in large print

War And Perks

Perks, Quirks, and Soda Jerks by Hieronymus Que

those dont even look like real books

what a dick

Perks Beerage

Mansfield Perk

Jurassic Perks

Perksclovetofu

http://www.freewebs.com/theonewithallthefriends/Central_Perk_DVDcap_cropped.jpg

Perkton Place

So it doesn't matter what cards you got dealt in life as long as you set them on fire?

― Tuomas, Monday, June 22, 2009 7:08 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3352/3492007361_6181ccc7b9.jpg?v=0

― Kitchen Paper Towel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, June 22, 2009 4:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i bet no one uses that small jar of urine to the right

I never heard of Perks until my girlfriend told me it was one of her favorite books in high school. I think it's basically unknown to anyone over 30, though.

Apple juice same color as urine, yes, that's hilaaaaaarious. Just clicked here from the original thread where someone made exact same joke.

what a disaster for jokes

what a disaster for apple juice

what a disaster for me

that's not urine. i can tell from the pixels and by having seen quite a few urines in my time.

thanks, lowercase jeff

if anyone remembers, this had the og apple juice/piss joke:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51P4KPTNJNL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

what a disaster for fred

fred is such a classic name, nothing could ever be disastrous for fred

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1160000/images/_1163511_west_150.jpg

Well, that didn’t take long. According to Publishers Weekly, the popular “Look At This Fucking Hipster” tumblr blog—a stream of photos of clownish hipsters accompanied by short, acerbic captions—is being turned into a large-print book by St. Martin’s Press.

― guido holocaust (jeff), Monday, June 22, 2009 5:40 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what a disaster for small print

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, June 22, 2009 5:40 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

are there legal issues w/r/t to the subjects of the photos?

― ramón gastro (omar little), Monday, June 22, 2009 5:41 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what a disaster for large print

― fistula pumping action (sarahel), Monday, June 22, 2009 5:41 PM (41 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

She has her own page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Gosselin
but his redirects to the show's page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Gosselin

― StanM, Thursday, June 4, 2009 1:36 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that is symptomatic of our culture's diminishing respect for the role of fatherhood that Dan Quayle warned us about

― nabisco, Thursday, June 4, 2009 1:39 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or possibly not

― nabisco, Thursday, June 4, 2009 1:40 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I visited 109 pizzerias and ate 386 pies

is this the most self-indulgent assignment an editor has ever given himself?

― joe, Friday, May 22, 2009 10:14 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i am going on a pizza tour this summer, i will visit 5 pizzerias and eat 386 pies.

― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Friday, May 22, 2009 10:17 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark

^classic post imo

Jonathan Goldberg, ‘The Anus in Coriolanus’ in Carla Mazzio and Douglas Trevor, eds., Historicism, Psychoanalysis, and Early Modern Culture (New York: Routledge, 2000)

That's a surprisingly short title given its academic context as I guess it. Not even a colon?

― anatol_merklich, Tuesday, 23 June 2009 00:32 (1 hour ago)

i will watch new years day tonight since people are fans. maybe i'll watch that new wave 80's french one too. that one is about some dude's dead new wave singer sister and how he drags her body all over the city for some reason. kind of an artier weekend at bernies, i'm hoping.

― scott seward, Wednesday, June 24, 2009 9:11 AM (42 seconds ago)

so i was like do you facebook? and she was like hell yeah! so i was like guess what??!! im totally gonna be in argentina like tomorrow! do you wanna hang out? and she was like yeah, call me up. then we boned and now i dont get to be governor anymore. sorry wife. fuck my life.

can't stop lol'ing.

Man, the middle of this thread is all on some groundhog day shit.

http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/87327-1/Headslap.gif

i can't even like

what is happening with the hat dude is wearing

why is there a second person taking video in the back

She's doing the slow-mo replay.

what could he be discussing beforehand that is causing him to gesture so earnestly and thoughtfully

I'm guessing it's about how 'roids totally don't affect your mood.

why doesn't dude of the fuzzy hat react at all when our hero removes his clothing

i just

I'm guessing it's about how 'roids totally don't affect your mood.

Poor guy has the piles already?

I really don't see why he needed to take off his shirt to do that.

Revenge is a dish best served cold?

Very good.

Is that a monkey puppet or something appearing above second dude's head right before first dude gets up? I keep thinking the guy who's getting slapped down is throwing something, but it doesn't look right.

^^^good dad

The guy sitting to the left of the slapper is sneakily using his left hand to fuck with him. Slapper is fooled, takes out innocent party, etc

It took me 2 views to work out that the slapper barely if at al touches the slappee, and that the whole thing is some amateur drama piece

Seriously, the 'back obscured blow' is classic WWE shit

well congratulations to you sir

lol I phrased that quite arsily, shd have just stuck w/ "this is some WWE shit"

when does a HOOS sleep

I don't know, when does a HOOS sleep?

a HOOS sleeps when a HOOS is not steendriving

chill dawg it's only like 6.30 am over there, night is young

sleep is the cousin of death iirc

on the real i took pill at like 11pm and knocked out til my roommate blasting led zep woke me up at 3am. haven't been able to get back to sleep since.

well if it was zep ok then

dude totally slept through it! i had on some ambient shit to drift off to and all of a sudden ITS BEEN A LONG TAHM SINCE IROCKAN ROWULLLD through real thin walls its like dogg

be serious with this

a hoos has shit to do come a morning

a hoos is busy like i don't even grasp

(not shittin' serious)

srsly i have no right being up with all the shit i have landing on me in approximately 90 mins when my alarm goes off. somebody remind me why the fuck i volunteered to write the company newsletter???

and now i stfu and back to the lol plz

you should, um, crowdsource that shit

company newsletter written by ilx = golden

of course i've been up for 24 hours so i could be mistaken

Oh man I ended up doing the company newsletter at one place, that job is some horrible bullshit.

Altho possibly my decision to rebrand the title as Some Horrible Bullshit was misguided.

inspired, but not what the suits were looking for

Arse Licking Toadyness would probably have been nearer the mark.

Oh man I ended up doing the company newsletter at one place, that job is some horrible bullshit.

That's the very same horrible bullshit that I'm avoiding right this minute by posting here

The fact that ILXors are the kind of people who end up doing the company newsletter almost feels like it's worth a thread but it was too disspiriting to be funny about plus I was drunk mostly.

wtf is a company newsletter?

sugban

You've never worked for a company?

dis spiri ting

It's a newsletter produced by a company telling you how awesome the company is, how lucky you are to be working for them, and where some bitch you've never of in Human Resources went on her holidays.

you never of

I'm not actually writing the bastard, my job is make sure this over-written bilge that nobody will ever read fits on the page and to try to get the images they want used down from 10 gazillion megs without them looking like some blurry amoeba-like blobs

you never her

i her once, but we never told any

As an example of how riveting these magazines can be, the magazine for ******** Insurance had an article about user account passwords, the most thrilling part of which was that two ******** employees discovered that the passwords to their respective accounts had been the name of the same classical composer during the exact same month of 1989!

For real next level badness however, you wd need to check out my current employer's Health and Safety Newsletter.

Featuring: Classic Urban Myths about Health and Safety! "A lot of people believe some crazy things about the HSE, like the story about conkers being banned from school playgrounds. Ridiculous! Conkers is perfectly acceptable providing that a risk assessment has been carried out and that all children involved in the game or spectating wear the appropriate PPE. And bring in a consent form."

ILXors: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "I need to you write the Company Newsletter"?

Kerm: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.

I always her, her, and her, but all I got in return was a pair of pink socks.

(xxxx-post)

this excelsior thread has been a self-fulfilling prophecy imo :D

and a trip

The next post should be on the Excelsior thread. BUT IT IS TE EXCEL THREAD!!!

And that's against the rules. Still:

you never her

― mookieproof, Thursday, 25 June 2009 12:01 (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i her once, but we never told any

― darragh✧✧✧@nebbm✧✧✧.c✧✧ (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 June 2009 12:02 (58 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Man, it took 5 years for the punchline!!!

What are "conkers"?

battle chestnuts

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=conkers (first definition, hopefully - post above says it was being banned from school grounds...)

battle chestnuts

Y'what?

Okay, I'm not going to get all Tuomasy here, so I'll just start googling the rest.

But suffice to say, BATTLE CHESTNUTS DOESN'T QUITE FILL IN ALL THE BLANKS HERE.

they are bonkers cankles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmfrqvR12Kw

GOOGLE NOT HELPING ANY:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UvgvuBakaew/SGem4r623nI/AAAAAAAABAc/f8T4q5d5Wio/s200/skirl_of_squirrel.gif

battle chestnuts is as good a two word answer you could hope for.

chestnuts with string through

whiney is talking total shit

I'm watching the video and still don't understand it.

Y'all need some more guns in your country or something.

don't they have video games in britain?

We have a cool game in america called "Guitar Hero" where you match the notes on a plastic guitar to a real song!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conkers#The_game

http://www.divideandconker.co.uk/site/prd_img/conker_rules.jpg

Conkers in a Surrey* style :

1 - get two large supermarket plastic bags full of conkers for each player
2 - get into two teams, about twenty players per team, preferably more
3 - teams form up at opposite ends of the playground
4 - an impartial observer/referee shouts "BEGIN!"
5 - teams throw conkers at each other
6 - stop when teacher breaks it up/riot police arrive/someone is hospitalised (note that someone merely being knocked unconscious is not sufficient grounds to stop the game - I say this from personal experience)

(* where large quantities of conker trees grow, in case you're wondering)

"Some people say it's Conkers
But I say that it's free
I oh bored now.

you guys need to get cable

they already do. They tie their nuts to it.

http://www.junkyard.co.uk/2000pix/conkers.jpg

^^^if we had 77 avatars

Conkers in a Surrey* style :

1 - get two large supermarket plastic bags full of conkers for each player
2 - get into two teams, about twenty players per team, preferably more
3 - teams form up at opposite ends of the playground
4 - an impartial observer/referee shouts "BEGIN!"
5 - teams throw conkers at each other
6 - stop when teacher breaks it up/riot police arrive/someone is hospitalised (note that someone merely being knocked unconscious is not sufficient grounds to stop the game - I say this from personal experience)

(* where large quantities of conker trees grow, in case you're wondering)

― snoball, Thursday, 25 June 2009 15:35 (48 minutes ago) Bookmark

Ummm, this is so, so, so wrong. 1. Maybe it's cos I went to a infant/primary school where we had a chestnut tree but buying them seems so wrong. Then, what the fuck, teams of people throwing them at each other? Why not just use rocks? Conkers involves a string through the middle and accurate, ummm, slinging(?) at the opponents, trying to crack their conker. I think I still have my ultimate beast of a fucker that no-one could destroy when we played it as kids. And yeah, this is some proper gentlemanly 6 year old game, when we only knew 1 kid who had a nintendo or we got bored of playing football.

trying to crack their conker

this sounds like my high school dating exploits

alternating nutsmacks in crash helmets on the playground?

http://www.nintendo-master.com/galerie/upload/data/d0930ee984b0fa2f6d4385a44c2bafad.jpg

And the circle's fixed again

this sounds like my high school dating exploits

So you used to dip girls you dated in vinegar to make them tougher?

Everybody wants a 69er.

He also put them in the oven overnight at a very low heat.

There's a bar in Manhattan called Conker Hill, run by an Oirish ex-pat who...I think his childhood neighborhood was called the same? I can't remember. Nice guy.

Maybe it's cos I went to a infant/primary school where we had a chestnut tree

I didn't say anything about buying them, Surrey is covered in conker trees, and there were loads right next to the school. It was just to give an idea of how many conkers I was talking about.

proper gentlemanly 6 year old game

Nah, we never played that...

In the large foyer that is the Excelsior thread, you Conker people are cluttering.

Move on please, there are some LOL's trying to book in!

{as major thunderstorm was kicking up}

These may be my last words to you all, so I'll just quickly say: suck on my shorn scrotum.
― all art is propaganda (kenan), Friday, June 19, 2009 10:41 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ Again with the conkers.

suck on my shorn conkers. for luck.

So you used to dip girls you dated in vinegar to make them tougher?

― Then in walked Barbara Castle with the Lady Eleanor (Tom D.), Thursday, June 25, 2009 11:36 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

He also put them in the oven overnight at a very low heat.

― Achtung Blobby (Neil S), Thursday, June 25, 2009 11:36 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

proper dating is a lot of work, okay?

Try putting them in a sock in the back of the airing cupboard. Or leaving them on a windowsill for 12 months.

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen

in AUSTRIA

to take the thread into an altogether darker place, WTF LAZYTOWN you are a kids tv show..

http://xs101.xs.to/xs101/06221/image.jpg

― darragh✧✧✧@nebbm✧✧✧.c✧✧ (darraghmac), Thursday, June 25, 2009 12:34 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

is that funny because brian peppers wasn't really on the show or

its a shop

everything i read, heard and see about that show disturbs me to the bone

Nice choice of words there, Clarence Thomas.

http://www.hbvl.be/imgpath/assets_img_gvl/2009/06/25/484474/oom-van-kimberley-toont-bloot-achterwerk-aan-rechtbank_5_460x0.jpg

That guy's ass has a pic of two white doves in love.

― Tuomas, Thursday, June 25, 2009 7:14 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

kinda wish Thomas had died of anal cancer instead of Farrah Fawcett

― Suckanoosik Chamber of Commerce (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, June 25, 2009 5:31 PM

yeah I went there

― Suckanoosik Chamber of Commerce (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, June 25, 2009 5:32 PM

yeah no one is surprised

― get money fuck witches (HI DERE), Thursday, June 25, 2009 5:32 PM

Where's that from? I suddenly want to click SB for the first time ever.

hold her soft hand, and let her rave

hahaha I thought Shakey was talking about Tuomas until I went back to the Supreme Court thread.

Oh! Me too! Sorry Shakey!

Sundaes v. Coke Cans

yeah thanks for making me imagine some kind of Tuomas/Thomas FLOAT

Photoshop plz

coke float with pubes?

so...the girl goes to mcartney then. it's official.

― rent, Thursday, June 25, 2009 10:42 PM (12 minutes ago)

now everyone is suddenly going to come out about how he was a genius and how awesome his music was, and pretend they didn't mock and ridicule him to death for the past 15 years.

not everyone

― And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, June 25, 2009 10:44 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

farrah jackson and michael fawcett still alive
http://www.facebook.com/people/Farrah-Jackson/505451176
http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Fawcett/598452578

― am0n, Thursday, June 25, 2009 10:15 PM (Yesterday)

lol

<3 amooon

pause

I really, really want to give him the benefit of the doubt (or back him away notionally from der kiddies through the magic of 'probably a big ole voyeur') but a writer friend of mine told me a story back in 1993: his friends got paid to wax some floors at Neverland and found a big old stash of man/boy love porn. IN THE CLOSET.

― bad hijab (suzy), Friday, 26 June 2009 00:16

wow, friends of a friend of somebody on the internet know the real truth

― abanana, Friday, 26 June 2009 00:26

what a tragedy for zooey deschanel

― fucken cumstomers (sic), Thursday, June 25, 2009 10:27 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what a disaster for sic

― gabb 'bag (s1ocki), Thursday, June 25, 2009 10:39 PM (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(edited for clarity) (from dead pool 09)

I'm so bad at this game, I don't think I've ever scored a single point.

― Tuomas, Thursday, June 25, 2009 12:20 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You realize you were the only person that picked Michael Jackson, right? The timing is almost eerie.

― great gabbneb's ghost (jaymc), Thursday, June 25, 2009 4:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ni/God.jpg

@TUOMAS, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE SO FAR BEHIND
-about 4 hours ago from heaven

― Eazy, Thursday, June 25, 2009 7:58 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

I think it's just automatic now. When a high-profile Republican gets into trouble, Fox News steps in to mislead their viewers by labeling them as Democrats.

― Milton Parker, Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Adolf Hitler (D) Bavaria

― velko, Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Avril Lavigne" is very nearly an anagram of "Evil Vagina"!

― Lostandfound, vrijdag 26 juni 2009 4:01 (5 hours ago) Bookmark

By the way, I've been on this forum since 2001. I'm not a troll.

― Alex in NYC, Friday, June 26, 2009 11:32 PM

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/kenjuggle3/arshtonbury.jpg

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Friday, 26 June 2009 14:16 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

disappointed that there wasn't an MJ ref, tbh

― darragh✧✧✧@nebbm✧✧✧.c✧✧ (darraghmac), Friday, 26 June 2009 14:17 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ha, yeah, i was all curious as to what it was gonna be

― i want to marry a pizza (gbx), Friday, 26 June 2009 14:18 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Assumed this was revived for MJ. Disappointed.

― ears are wounds, Friday, 26 June 2009 14:18 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i hope you respond well to constructive feedback ken!

― darragh✧✧✧@nebbm✧✧✧.c✧✧ (darraghmac), Friday, 26 June 2009 14:19 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

blaq poet album leaked

― zzz (deej), Thursday, 25 June 2009 01:31

i'll get a paper towel

― curvy argentinian mistress (some dude), Thursday, 25 June 2009 01:33

http://www.tv-intros.com/m/my%20two%20dads.jpg

lollll

all supernatural detectives need to be banned for at least the next 20 years. sorry patricia arquette, really i am. god knows i've loved your ditzy ass for years now.

― scott seward, Friday, June 26, 2009 2:48 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha just yesterday I was imagining a new network show called The Boggler, about a supernatural detective who solves crimes by shaking up the Boggle thing and then going "oh, it says someone named Mark did it"

― nabisco, Friday, June 26, 2009 2:57 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

starring zach galafanakakakakis

strapline: "The mind... boggles..."

Popamatic for the People

i mean, honestly, how could "all hell break loose" over an autopsy? he either died of natural causes or committed suicide. BFD

or, like, they find the ingested remains of a baby or a pony or something

― i want to marry a pizza (gbx), Friday, June 26, 2009 3:49 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

new director's cut contains POV shot of statue going through his school

― And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, June 26, 2009 1:06 PM (12 seconds ago)

skull

― And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, June 26, 2009 1:06 PM (8 seconds ago)

what is wrong with me

― And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, June 26, 2009 1:06 PM (4 seconds ago)

sorry man, I know MJ's death got you rattled

― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Friday, June 26, 2009 4:09 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ned, you have to include the punchline!

sorry Ned, I know MJ's death got you rattled too

I weep. (I was actually laughing at all that *before* Beanbag's addition.)

just got the new rolling stone in the mail today and hmmm what's the first story

Michael Jackson's Troubled Comeback
The singer's upcoming 50 concerts could make him rich again — if he holds up

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Friday, June 26, 2009 8:29 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha you subscribe to rolling stone!

― Mr. Que, Friday, June 26, 2009 8:29 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

I heard Princess Di died while on acid in the desert

that isn't really how she died.

― us_odd_bunny_lady (tipsy mothra), Saturday, June 27, 2009 1:25 AM (14 minutes ago)

iirc AMG's "influence" lists are generated by some arcane process involving ned raggett, a blindfold and some darts

― velko, Friday, June 26, 2009 11:53 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark

Minutes after his death at 2.27pm Pacific Time in Oakland, California, Dwight Santos - an unemployed toilet cleaner - told reporters at the UCLA Medical Centre that he had seen Jackson emerging from a back door of the hospital disguised as a nun.

He told those who would listen that the singer was heading for a Caribbean island where he planned to live as a fruit seller called Thomas Di Loco.

Moments later, another fan called Elisa Chan claimed she had seen Jackson strapping on a jetpack and flying to Los Angeles airport. From there he was going to visit his birthplace of Gary, Indiana, before flying to Greenland to live with Eskimos.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1195775/Jacksons-dead-hes-living-bunker-Elvis-Presley-Conspiracy-theories-emerge-just-hours-stars-death.html

― James Mitchell, Saturday, June 27, 2009 11:29 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

something seems weird about that story

― harbl, Saturday, June 27, 2009 11:33 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

an "unemployed toilet cleaner"? suspicious indeed.

― harbl, Saturday, June 27, 2009 11:34 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

who the fuck is Billy Mays?

― My name is Kenny! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn)

dont know how someone can even post on a message board and not know 'oxiclean' front -> back.

― velko, Sunday, June 28, 2009 4:06 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I seriously still don't know what it is and had never heard of him. That's what I get for being born in a culturally backward region of the world like Europe, I guess :-(

― StanM, Sunday, June 28, 2009 4:46 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Have never tasted the deliciousness that ShamWow seems to be either :-(

― StanM, Sunday, June 28, 2009 4:48 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

An old classic:

Search: East High School, Pueblo, Colorado, 1991 -- the actor who plays Sergeant Mauser visits my 9th grade health class on behalf of the D.A.R.E. program and tells us not to do drugs.

We all think: "You make your living by playing a character who gets a foreign object crammed inside his anus three times every film. And we're not supposed to do drugs?"

― nabisco, Monday, October 1, 2001 5:00 PM

Sergeant Mauser

6 - that bar they kept tricking that guy into going to in the hilarious Police Academy series

― snoball, Monday, 29 June 2009 18:46 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^ synchronicity

OK so I've just googled around and firstly I'd never heard that "jews built the pyramids" theory before, and secondly most of the links say it's not true anyway! But whatevs, sorry

― Colonel Poo, Monday, June 29, 2009 4:24 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

"most"

"loving your wife as Christ loved the church" doesn't strike me as sound marital counseling tbh

― giovanni & ribsy (elmo argonaut), Monday, June 29, 2009 5:09 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i mean, having some dude transcribing letters to your wife letters about how she has failed to uphold your teachings would be grounds for divorce imo

― giovanni & ribsy (elmo argonaut), Monday, June 29, 2009 5:12 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― Michael tapeworm much talent for the future (s1ocki),

― cuntry blathers (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, June 30, 2009 3:09 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

don't get it?

― wacky out of context phrase is the worst look (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, June 30, 2009 3:32 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Michael tapeworm much talent for the future

― harbl, Tuesday, June 30, 2009 3:41 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh, okay. Thx.

― wacky out of context phrase is the worst look (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, June 30, 2009 3:42 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

In re: Away We Go:

--

just based on this thread, i kinda can't wait to see this movie, but i have a feeling i won't actually see it until it's $3.99 on dvd at the convenience store and i buy it drunk.

― scott seward, Tuesday, June 30, 2009 9:54 AM (37 seconds ago)

i fell in love with a bank teller today

― rembrandt what (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, June 30, 2009 6:20 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

weakest t-pain joint yet

― chronologymentully (donna rouge), Tuesday, June 30, 2009 6:29 PM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest

ha just came to post that

just based on this thread, i kinda can't wait to see this movie, but i have a feeling i won't actually see it until it's $3.99 on dvd at the convenience store and i buy it drunk.

― scott seward, Tuesday, June 30, 2009 9:54 AM (37 seconds ago)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, June 30, 2009 12:55 PM (10 hours ago) Bookmark

Even funnier because this is the general sort of manner in which I imagine Scott Seward making all of his cultural choices.

captain save-a-poor-woman-shot-by-police

― am0n, 30 June 2009 21:02 (Yesterday) Bookmark

I'm always amazed so many Americans know Are You Being Served.

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 1:40 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

they know it from the spin-off "You got served".

― the shock will be coupled with the need to dance (jim), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 1:41 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is one of those threads that is going to be in new answers all day and i am here this one and only time to tell you all to fucking die and rot in hell and stop posting thank you

― goole, Wednesday, July 1, 2009 4:25 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

anyway, my point is not that abuse is good, but rather that this sort of parental pressure might magnify innate talent.

― Mike Crandle, Financial Analyst, Bear Stearns, New York, NY 10185 (res), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 8:41 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
i hope someone beats you up and it makes your posts better.

― the shock will be coupled with the need to dance (jim), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 8:42 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahah

that goole post is <3 <3 <3

last 2 should be examples a and b on "how to choose an excelsior post"

goole invoking strongo there

strongo rip :(

Smash, not rip.

"This is something we would advise men never to attempt," a medic told the Telegraph.

Oh sure, a medic WOULD say that. They're part of the plot to never let men circumcise themselves with nail clippers.

― a Gioconda kinda dirty look (kenan), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 11:20 PM (28 minutes ago)

^^^ this is actually true

― i want to marry a pizza (gbx), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 11:21 PM (28 minutes ago)

british humour has an extra letter that makes it incompatible with american humor
― a ho (The Reverend), Thursday, July 2, 2009 12:55 AM (3 hours ago)

sounds like a problem with u
― what if deeznuts comes back like that (Curt1s Stephens), Thursday, July 2, 2009 12:56 AM (3 hours ago)

A+

LOL thats great.

I thought "Ben" was recorded for the sequel to Willard, also called Ben.

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 2 July 2009 03:16 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It was. And what a strange career move that was! A tender ode to a killer rat. Not too many artists could survive that.

― henry s, Thursday, 2 July 2009 03:21 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The career move, that is. Not the killer rat. Though it's fair to say that if the rat was indeed a killer, very few artists (or non-artists, for that matter) would be expected to survive.

― henry s, Thursday, 2 July 2009 03:23 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Funny kind of 'surviving'

5 Michael Jackson Got To Be There Feb 1972
3 Michael Jackson Rockin' Robin May 1972
8 Michael Jackson Ain't No Sunshine Aug 1972
7 Michael Jackson Ben Nov 1972
3 Michael Jackson Don't Stop Till You Get Enough Sep 1979

7 years later, his next solo hit.

let's ruin humour with pedantry!

^^^ ILM board description

imo every mark g post should be followed up by ilx system posting "sorry for british"

ya mark g it's so clear that michael jackson's career never recovered from that

i was wondering what all the fuss was about that guy who did 'Ben' dying.

gift grub david beckham spoof was better anyway

Hello,have you met "Dry Humour", it was quite successful in the 80's.

have met it, but not recently

i know estela, i have worked with estela, estela is a friend of mine, and you sir...

i was wondering what all the fuss was about that guy who did 'Ben' dying

Crispin Glover died?? :O

are not just fibbing...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, Other messages have been posted since you last looked.

let's ruin humour with pedantry!

― the shock will be coupled with the need to dance (jim)

^^^ ILM board description

― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Thursday, July 2, 2009 9:07 AM (13 hours ago)

MOD PRIVILEGES - ABUSED!

Hey, I proud.

(i am not at all convinced that this whole sb thing is in any way improving the ilx experience, fwiw.)

― us_odd_bunny_lady (tipsy mothra), Friday, 3 July 2009 06:47 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's improving the lol experience

― throbbing dikes (sic), Friday, 3 July 2009 06:50 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I just have one question about it, maybe some of you political dudes can help me out with it

my question is "what the fuck"

― worm? lol (J0hn D.), Friday, July 3, 2009 5:19 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hey hope im not too late to help you j0hn but the answer to your question is the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, July 3, 2009 6:58 PM (29 seconds ago) Bookmark

a true triumph

The fungus hits! You die....
the gnome takes all of your possessions. F@G

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 10 October 2005 21:21 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
oof in retrospect i'm really sorry about that

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 10 October 2005 21:23 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lmao these fuckin guys

― FUCKIN 'TALLICA BRO (cankles), Monday, July 6, 2009 9:14 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lmao thesethis fuckin guys

Coincidentally, this is pretty much what runs through my head when I see a cankles post.

― the sideburns are album-specific (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, July 6, 2009 10:03 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's usually just "lmao" for me

― double pickles on the wein (k3vin k.), Monday, July 6, 2009 10:05 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

usually what runs through me head is just "fuckin guys" - has nothing to do with cankles or posting or ilx tho

― jabandroids (J0rdan S.), Monday, July 6, 2009 10:07 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

congratulations, you've just made the first gay dad joke in the history of this board that isn't about a drummer writing an essay

― somedudefoshizzle (some dude), Monday, July 6, 2009 10:09 PM Bookmark

wheels within wheels

whiney if you start putting "____ was the drummer for the rock band (name of the shittiest and most obscure band you ever played in)" at the end of all your bylines I will pledge to do the same

It must be hellish when you can't get a proper night's sleep for worrying that dirty immigrants will build a mosque on your front garden and rape your children when you're not looking.

― My Slow Descent into Assholism (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, July 7, 2009 1:52 PM (2 hours ago)

edited for funny:

oooh, i like the webmail function. pretty sweet!

also lots of people from scotland/england here! awesome! i am a british comedy freak. (no IT crowd. blech)

― Francis, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 23:20 (Yesterday) Bookmark

plenty of British comedy on this messageboard even!

― thank you, flipper, for nickelback (country matters), Tuesday, 7 July 2009 23:22 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

link please?

― Francis, Tuesday, 7 July 2009 23:22 (Yesterday) Bookmark

who are you to say that he has no remorse? I mean, I don't get the calls for him to "apologize" - i'm sure he's apologized to rihanna and that's really all that matters.. and he's been through the legal system and has been dealt his punishment.. honestly what more do you want from him?

― Monday Nite Tranny Party (The Brainwasher), Wednesday, July 8, 2009 1:00 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I would like him to become a mod on ILX and ban you

― tbqf fridays (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, July 8, 2009 5:03 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://appraisalnewsonline.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/05/14/applause_line.jpg

Who was the congress woman that spoke yesterday? Did I hear her correct, did she say the American True Legend Status or something will be "debated" in congress? Didn't he already receive it? Should be a fun debate then!

Is this legend status a big deal in America? Ah it probably is isn't it...

― young depardieu looming out of void in hour of profound triumph (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, July 8, 2009 4:46 AM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

basically it means that when you die the gov't declares you a 'national treasure' and stores you in a gold coffin in fort knox, which is then stolen by nicolas cage in a feat of derring-do.

― Turnswagonesque (some dude), Wednesday, July 8, 2009 4:50 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Before meth ppl look like this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eat-the-press/daniella3-thumb.jpg

After meth ppl look like this:
http://www.celebritysmackblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/sleestak.jpg
― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 16:41 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Discovery News Top Stories : Discovery Channel - Sperm Travels Faster Toward Attractive Females - 2 hours ago

uh

presumably because the sac they're in is being moved that way by it's owner?

when it's running down the knife, i think, is the implication

"I always throw harder at the pretty ones."

here's the link: http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/07/08/sperm-attractiveness.html

story of my life.

When I was like 11 or 12 my parents gave me a sex ed book, which said you should go around looking at women's breasts so you could appreciate the variety of shapes and sizes of breasts, and I was like "ok."

― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, July 8, 2009 3:27 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i'm still stuck on that page

use a damp cloth

i'm still stuck on that page

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:32 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

use a damp cloth

― snoball, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:33 (31 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Sink Immigrants Boats" says Nick Griffin

I find this thread hilarious from this post down.

omg Dan that's the laughingest I've laughed in days

I saw him on TV last night, I admit I did think "no, I misheard that"

That BNP boats thread is already top 10 for all time.

suggest "take their excelsior and give them new excelsior" for new lol thread title

You have reached 51 suggest LOLs- you are now EXCELSIORED

My experiences from US TV advertising is that Hyundai is pronounced 'Hondy' (or 'Hundy'?) in the US as opposed to Hi-oon-dye everwhere else. Correct?

― If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate (aldo), Thursday, 9 July 2009 15:27 (Yesterday) Permalink

Skipping 469 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Matt, are you saying British people are racist?

― faucet that ass (sarahel), Thursday, 9 July 2009 22:56 (Yesterday) Permalink

This. Is. Ilx.

there's a segway rider in my neighbourhood in provincial england. idk what his deal is.

― FREE DOM AND ETHAN (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, July 9, 2009 2:38 PM (27 seconds ago) Bookmark

is he your lord

― goole, Thursday, July 9, 2009 3:39 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

In re: Mary J. Blige:

--

i like how every new album has her saying how this time, shes *really* happy. sometimes it works as w/'just fine', where despite trying to make a joyous (if slightly hollow, not all that amazing) song, the usual sadness in her voice takes it somewhere slightly diff, but shes better singing sad, slightly tortured ish imo. ill still take whats the 411 over anything else shes done.

― titchy (titchyschneiderMk2), Thursday, July 9, 2009

haha seriously. I'm going to write a Mary J. song called "I Want To Be Happy, But I Am Sad And Wish I Was Happier, But Wait, Now I Am Finally Happy (Let's See How Long It Lasts)"

― hop up out the shed, turn my scag on (some dude), Thursday, July 9, 2009 9:35 PM

Hell of a drug etc

forgive me (haven't heard this song since sophomore year) but the guitar arpeggio part is pretty cheesy:

Emaj -> Bmaj [7th fret]
Dmaj -> Amaj [5th fret]
Cmaj -> Gmaj [3rd fret]

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 18:53 (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Unfortunately I read that as an account of six Albanian brothers in a frown-off.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 18:54 (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that goes beyond dad joke into like great-grandpa joke land

Too kind.

hahaha i love great grandpa jokes and i actually loled at that

Don't fret.

to give you an example of how dad jokey i am IRL, my wife and i have this running thing where if she's upset and fretting about something, i just tell her to say "victor wooten" and names of other fretless bass players as a kind of stress-relieving mantra

you are the hip hop cliff huxtable you are

seriously though exactly how many roles has Morgan Freeman played where his character could be described as "wise" or "a seasoned veteran" or "jaded"
^^^from thereon in, gold

hahaha

rule number one if you are about to marry your step-grandaughter: DON'T EVER FUCKING DO THIS!

― scott seward, Friday, 10 July 2009 18:26 (11 minutes ago)

dave eggers needs an iron

― caek, Monday, July 13, 2009 1:41 PM (1 second ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hes ironic enough as it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, July 13, 2009 7:43 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

honoured to have been a part of that one.

c'mon, how many films consist of noble people doing wonderful things to and for each other?

― Then, it dawned on me: "I HAVE BEEN PLAYED!" (omar little), Monday, July 13, 2009 11:51 AM (22 minutes ago)

saw

― J0rd D. (velko), Monday, July 13, 2009 11:51 AM (21 minutes ago)

a bit old but deserves posting I think

"and a cover of the classic Beastie Boy's track 'Sabotage'"

OK I got their single in the post this morning and had to listen to this track on it three times to confirm that I'm not losing my mind and they really sing "I'm gonna set it straight, this MARGATE".

― DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 22:50

(don't get the one previous.. Saw?)

"Saw" is a movie.

It's a prequel to Conquered.

(x-post)

oh man, irl lol

OK, thanks.

first one of the series was my favorite

Hahaha!

you guys!

first one of the series was my favorite

You mean, "Came" ?

You wouldn't let it lie!!!

Yeah, that's the one where they do wonderful things to and for each other.

x-post

goole i dont mean to embarrass you but you should prob know that "came" can mean several things, one of which is sort of dirty birdy o_O

seen

^ ilxors posting in patois

haw @ dirty birdy

what is "margate" post from

"FLOORS AND WALLS : Welcome To Chav-core !!"

I guess you had to be there

in 2007

A biologist friend of mine once referred to mice as "Nature's popcorn".

― Aimless, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 10:18 AM (1 minute ago)

From I Love Hoops (minor editing):

iverson to clips???

― north sea jazz dit weekend (call all destroyer)

wow that would just be terrible for everyone involved (not least baron and griffin)

― why is Barack Obama rarely seen dancing (hmmmm)

damn i totally forgot baron was on clips :[

― i know u in heaven i hope 2 c u next year (am0n)

so does he

― His Honor is, heh, poll-ing the electorate (dyao)

"someone had taken another dump on the kitchen floor"

ANOTHER dump on the kitchen floor? What kind of people do you live with??
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:34 PM

probably people whose clothes horse got moved to the kitchen last weekend but found you leaving some uncleaned poo stains in the toilet
― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:36 PM

or perhaps someone who is ranked fairly highly in an army of poo?
― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:38 PM

Heh yeah I figured that was coming. Curse my scatalogical screen name!
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, July 14

i wonder if cankles knows he was unbanned

― thomp, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 8:19 AM (10 hours ago)

*squats over ur chest and craps on u*

― mods did ✈ ▌▌ (cankles), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 10:01 AM (8 hours ago)

ok i guess cankles knows he was unbanned

― thomp, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 6:21 PM (6 minutes ago)

^____________________________________^

yeah, that was vintage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VLjX4JWxzw

:(

I can't tell if dude is trying to make a salient point about america's complacency to african hunger and just failing; or going on some fratboy "he looked like black licorice" LOL fest at other people's suffering

do you guys have any talents

― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

snark, zing, img flood

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:39 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ok you are basically bulbasaur from pokemon diamond

― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:41 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ILX made me feel uncultured until I saw the walloginas

― brash trash talker (dan m), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 4:44 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lmao @ bulbasaur

i've noticed that the threads about "lol terrible music writing" always have the same dullards on them, people who are never on the threads about good music. hrrrm.

― lex pretend, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 2:20 PM (8 minutes ago)

i notice you're here.

― scott seward, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 2:24 PM (4 minutes ago)

bulbasaur is killing it. we need to determine our individual attacks.

<3 scott

scooooott!!

that's for the zing thread

natural Lol police ...

rich people pay poor people to have their cancer for them

― velko, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 8:57 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I've elected to wait to say anything about him or his art until it is no longer in very bad taste.

― EDB, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 6:44 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thanks, we were wondering why you hadn't posted your thoughts yet

― barrymore, murdrewland (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, July 14, 2009 6:47 PM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark

where did grady go? why did he leave? where is mark sinker? where is jess? where is blount? where is chaki? how is everyone? good, i hope.

― scott seward, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 11:04 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

did you hear about michael jackson?

― bnw, Tuesday, July 14, 2009 11:06 PM (27 seconds ago) Bookmark

my favorite poutine is...

THIS ONE!!!!!

http://www.topnews.in/files/putin_0.jpg
― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 4:25 PM

no it has to be real cheese curds max

― canks: for the memories (s1ocki), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 4:27 PM (5 minutes ago)

mccarthy's posts make much more sense if you imagine them being barked out of an open office window by a shirtless dude pointing a .45 at his own head

― goole, Wednesday, July 15, 2009 11:28 AM (13 minutes ago)

to be fair to ewan tho what would you do if you were cast as OBI WAN FUCKING KENOBI and you show up to the set the first day and find out you have to do a scene opposite the kid from jingle all the way and stepin fechit inside a blue room?

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 11:21 AM

the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

The post that started it all. (Today at least.)

http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/5557/84445610.jpg

that crimes of lucas thread is king lolz

particularly:

he might as well have huffed off to his bedroom, slammed the door, and then come out Vader the next morning

― nabisco, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 19:52 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Regarding Julia Child:

--

She got an honorary degree at my commencement!

― suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, July 16, 2009 6:24 AM (4 hours ago)

is that your way of saying you slept with her?

― Cowardly G. Soundgarden (s1ocki), Thursday, July 16, 2009 6:25 AM (4 hours ago)

Yes!

― suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, July 16, 2009 6:27 AM (4 hours ago)

mazel tov

― saddam hoosteen (s1ocki), Thursday, July 16, 2009 6:28 AM (4 hours ago)

I have an acquaintance who (not the brightest person I know - she once asked a crowd, post-Geico commercial, if those had been real cavemen. she was serious) who is working her way through the Twilight novels.

― My vagina has a dress code. (milo z), Friday, July 17, 2009 2:21 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahaha

OK, for three days, nothing lolworthy happened.

its happening elsewhere!

If lolworthy happens in the woods and no one is there to excelsior it, does it make a lol?

Just like the sound of one hand lolling.

The Lucas thread was epic and people are recharging their batteries, er, lolleries...

y'know how most of you have bad days and shout at people who don't deserve it? Mods get those too occasionally. Evil giant Nazi robot lizards are only human.

although dude knows fuck all about football, <3 etc for Matt DC

in the grand scheme of things I suspect the british vs. american poetry fite has as much contemporary relevance as germany vs. switzerland who has the best tuba players

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Monday, 20 July 2009 18:44 (Yesterday) Permalink

FUCK ANYONE WHO DOESN'T REP FOR SWISS TUBA

― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Monday, 20 July 2009 18:45 (Yesterday)

e_e

I had to go to a horrible free dental clinic because I don't have insurance and there were a couple of Juggalos up in that bitch with me. They didn't know each other beforehand, but recognized each other because one had an ICP jersey and necklace, the other had tat with that psycho with a butcher knife logo. They greeted each other warmly and proceeded to discuss sick ass Twisted shows, one dude's crazy azz Juggalo homie getting high off rotted orange peels in jail, and the skank azz ho that stole the other dude's Juggalo gear, leaving him "feeling naked." Another highlight was when they had some unimpressed black hip hop dudes listen to Twisted mp3s on their phones.

― Got that pandemic (Whitey on the Moon), Tuesday, July 21, 2009 7:11 PM (25 minutes ago)

and then they beat your ass for misspelling Twiztid

― some dude, Tuesday, July 21, 2009 7:13 PM (23 minutes ago)

ah, it's all in the detail...!

e_e

― dont blaze me dro (roxymuzak), Tuesday, July 21, 2009 2:34 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

what even

We'll know a hell of a lot more about this by the end of September than we do today.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 21 July 2009 23:20 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Which won't keep us speculatin' and criticizing.

― Heric E. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 21 July 2009 23:24 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

and whittlin'

― Sarah Palin's Word Put Together Instructor (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 21 July 2009 23:28 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

nope, baker is getting the 9-11 slot

― djmartian, Wednesday, 22 July 2009 15:03 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

never forget

― something like a phen (onimo), Wednesday, 22 July 2009 15:03 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what is that from??

10:15–10:30 am

What Is a Juggalo: A Function Alternative to Religion
Ashley R. Davis (Mark Rubinfeld), Westminster College
Oral Session A3, Converse B18

This senior thesis discusses the identity and faith of Juggalos, who are the followers of a
band called Insane Clown Posse. Providing an overview of Insane Clown Posse, I will look
at how a Juggalo’s way of life and belief system has many similarities to that of alternative
religions through their community bond. I intend to discuss the phenomenon of the
Juggalo in order to educate readers about the life of a Juggalo, the community that is
created by them, and to discuss the importance of this particular group of contemporary
youth and the social movement they have created for themselves. This will entail looking
at theories of Gemeinschaft, Sense of Community theory, and alternative religions. To
collect the information, I will be combining ethnographic research and secondary analysis.
What I expect to find is a relationship between Juggalo identity and faith as it pertains to
their sense of community and how it could be argued that they have formed their own
alternative religion. Finally, I anticipate explaining why the Juggalo community shouldn’t
be referenced in a negative way.

― goole, Wednesday, July 22, 2009 12:56 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

all that in 15 minutes

― wax onleck, wax affleck (jjjusten), Wednesday, July 22, 2009 1:09 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Probably just a PowerPoint presentation.

Or a pill of some sort.

http://www.metalsucks.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/grindhousebub.jpg

this is a two fer, because that is corpsepaint, but he just ate a juggalo

― wax onleck, wax affleck (jjjusten), Wednesday, July 22, 2009 10:57 AM (1 minute ago)

the whole thread is lolworthy
CORPSE PAINT or Juggalo?

OLDIE BUT GOODIE:

for sure society could stand to loosen up about sexuality a little, but exposing infants to adult sexuality is surely not the place to start.

you can't have your cake and eat it too.

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, December 5, 2005 12:00 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that was totally A Nairn being serious, right?

If you can troll seriously, yes.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=corpse%20munging
I have learned something today. Thanks ILM !

― Jamie Harley (Snowballing), Thursday, 23 July 2009 16:16 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Oops ILE I meant

― Jamie Harley (Snowballing), Thursday, 23 July 2009 16:17 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

no I think you meant ILM

― Lisa Simpson = a fictional bitch (HI DERE), Thursday, 23 July 2009 16:17 (1 minute ago) Bookmark

wow

this idea is at least as old as the 70's; it's turned up in underground comix.

Mulan really swept the middle school sleepover circuit at an age where you'd think we were too old for Disney

That whore!

― Heric E. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, July 23, 2009 1:46 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

my wife just realised that she wrote about Attack Attack for AP a couple months back:

http://www.altpress.com/recommends/225.htm

fucking hilarious. i'm going to clown her about this forever. i do remember her being irritated at how terrible that band was, but still.

― pipecock, Thursday, July 23, 2009 9:39 AM (1 hour ago)

your wife's name is rob?

― like totally gr80 to the max (jaxon), Thursday, July 23, 2009 10:55 AM (1 minute ago)

mrs. threezy

tonnes of penis jokes in that like father like son review.

A rapper with this much spunk coming out his mouth doesn't need to spend any more time boning up on his skills or trying to impress people with his stamina ... to the point that Birdman often gets the shaft ... And he'll still bend over backward for a hot line, fleshing out his long narrative arcs with violent thrusts ... Wayne dishes out the white stuff uncut on the crack rap of "Over Here Hustlin," while Birdman goes harder than ever on "Leather so Soft" before cocking and squeezing on "Army Gunz."

but uh, why exactly do you find this review so good? i'm curious.

― samosa gibreel, Thursday, July 23, 2009 12:33 PM (7 minutes ago)

wait, what? penis jokes? uh... project much?

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Thursday, July 23, 2009 12:35 PM (5 minutes ago)

oh weird...yeah i guess if you read that birdman review from a certain perspective you could read a lot of homoerotic imagery into it....

― tulsa anti-juggalo league (M@tt He1ges0n), Thursday, July 23, 2009 12:41 PM (37 seconds ago)

also my main question here is what part of the country is the most stressful to live in

― ian, Friday, 24 July 2009 14:40 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

prison

― bnw, Friday, 24 July 2009 14:41 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

something else that owned - KKK grand wizard gandalf leading the charge against a bunch of savage hottentots in Rotk, i swear some of those shots were straight out of birth of a nation

― the shitbirdification of america's youth (cankles), Friday, 24 July 2009 11:38 (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It's really disorienting to read that definition of "corpse munging" followed immediately by the cheerful "get this def on a mug" link. I wonder how many munging mugs they sell?

I wonder who the fuck wants to think about that while they're drinking coffee.

ILX could make loads of money with this! Get this thread title/connection/post on a T-shirt/mug/bumper sticker/condom!

that's 4 different products, right?

It's two. "t-shirt/mug/bumper" and "sticker/condom"

The latter is not recommended.

"Get it out! Get it out!"

Man I want to delete those last two posts. They're just plain not funny.

You're trying too hard. Which co-incidentally is what should be printed on the ILX condoms...

and not "oh wrinklepaws"

ILX could make loads of money with this! Get this thread title/connection/post on a T-shirt/mug/bumper sticker/condom!
― StanM, Friday, 24 July 2009 12:12 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i think we should collect several threads on ilx, put them together and turn it into a book.

it'd be a bit of fun?

a bit of Finn

ken c, you are a monster!

If you pare The Riddler down to his core, he's basically the dude who's convinced he is smarter than everyone else around him to the degree where he arrogantly thinks he can leave riddles that, when deciphered, will tell people exactly what he's doing but that the people opposed to him are too stupid to figure them out in time

why are you talking shit about Morbs when he's not around?

― Heric E. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, July 24, 2009 3:10 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

that's 4 different products, right?

― Mark G, Friday, July 24, 2009 8:17 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It's two. "t-shirt/mug/bumper" and "sticker/condom"

― (I'm white, btw.) (kenan), Friday, July 24, 2009 8:19 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The latter is not recommended.

"Get it out! Get it out!"

― (I'm white, btw.) (kenan), Friday, July 24, 2009 8:20 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Man I want to delete those last two posts. They're just plain not funny.

― never name anything coolpix (kenan), Friday, July 24, 2009 8:31 AM (7 hours ago)

i was actually thinking about posting it to the excelsior thread before i realized this was the excelsior thread. had me lolin at least

Whiney, can I tell you one bro to another that oil on the footlong is the way to go.

― im a fucking unicorn you douchebags (forksclovetofu), Sunday, July 26, 2009 12:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

take it to tmi pal

― kid cruti (roxymuzak), Sunday, July 26, 2009 12:59 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/Alley_Oop.jpg

hard lolling at morbs/riddler.

Morbs/Riddler in '12!

I can't keep track of the number of ostensibly straight women I know who profess to have a "crush" on Rachel Maddow.

― jaymc, Sunday, July 26, 2009 8:16 AM (26 minutes ago)

Thank god for the .xls

― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Sunday, July 26, 2009 8:18 AM (25 minutes ago)

re: G-Force:

I was really up for that until I realised they were CGI guinea pigs and not real ones.

― Notorious V.A.GUE (Noodle Vague), Saturday, July 25, 2009 11:29 PM (Yesterday)

Was it the talking that gave it away?

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, July 26, 2009 2:34 PM (4 hours ago)

Back in my day cavies used to do their own stunts :(

Mine touched my DS touchscreen today. IT WAS ADORABLE.

aww!

Moments That Occur In the Last 20 Seconds of a Prescription Drug Commercial While the Side Effects are Being Read in Voice-Over

Gathering Of The Juggalos 2009 Infomercial

still lolling at this Youtube

http://content.ytmnd.com/content/1/4/2/14265384d6eec6d64e69c03abdedc82c.gif

XD

louis the next time I'm bein a dick to you I want you to remember that I totally stayed chill when you compared hood to black metal

― Trey Tsongas (J0hn D.), Monday, July 27, 2009 11:09 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

xxpost i like that guy on the left's punk hair

omg we saw that episode of "it's me or the dog" and literally fell off the couch laughing at that damn australian sheppard with the cupcakes

who fuckin edited in that hiroshima shit?

the dog looks like alice cooper imo

i want to talk to you about this "hood" band lj but first i need to know if "smoking crack" is a term understood by you britishers because i am trying to make sure that i formulate my argument in a way that will resonate with you

― wax onleck, wax affleck (jjjusten), Monday, July 27, 2009 8:51 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

it's been another great day on ILM :D

hey at least you didn't get your CD binders stolen.

Yet.

been working on a "Bolt the CD binders, J0hn D is loose!" joke all day, but it just isn't really threadworthy so um here you go?

someone please link to genesis of the new binders meme?

The Death of the Record Collection

hahahaha forks just saw your username and parsed it for the first time

i could relate.

wow that binder shit got HEATED

actual names etc

What thread is the Hood talk on?

1st wave Norwegian Black Metal poll thread

who fuckin edited in that hiroshima shit?

― freakin pecan (jdchurchill), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 00:39 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's the "thousand yard stare" innit?

'hiroshima'

isn't it Vietnam war images, not Hiroshima?

yes

I brought in a tape with "Kokomo" on it to show & tell in 4th grade, when everyone else brought Nirvana, Weird Al and Guns & Roses tapes. Damn you, Beach Boys. I tried to explain to my classmates that it was Van Dyke Parks unorthodox accordion playing that really made the song, but no one would listen...

― Z S, Saturday, 19 April 2008 14:17 (1 year ago)

Another old one:

Heck, why do you think semen tastes bad?
So we don't spend all our time drinking it, and become extinct!

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 25 March 2005 08:46 (4 years ago)

lolol

truth bomb

hey anyway while I'm here, what's the deal with binding journals? It makes slim volumes that were once easy to browse and search into monstrosities that are too thick to keep open / photocopy and impossible to find things in if the journal edition isn't printed on every page. And they look worse.

― Akon/Family (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, July 29, 2009 8:34 AM (8 hours ago)

I didn't mean for that to be the worst Seinfeld bit conceivable.

― Akon/Family (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, July 29, 2009 8:34 AM (8 hours ago)

the thing is that Sandler kinda does sadsack stuff in a lot of his comedies -- 2nd half of Click was fuckin' depressing

― Apatow Dumpling Gang (some dude), Wednesday, July 29, 2009 9:50 AM (50 seconds ago)

I assumed all of Click was depressing

― da croupier, Wednesday, July 29, 2009 9:51 AM (3 seconds ago)

sometimes i would check out the whole library, good thing i can read an entire book by holding it against my forehead for 10 seconds

― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, July 29, 2009 3:45 PM (1 hour ago)

edited for brevity:

...my words are carefully-chosen

― One idiot even called me "redcoat" because I'm (country matters), Wednesday, July 29, 2009 1:38 PM (6 minutes ago)

http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs132.snc1/5654_121922482089_596287089_3122791_3579048_n.jpg

Missing wheel of cheese/luxury chocolate sauce.

that's just a serious wtf ...

Edited for lolz:

2 TB SDXC cards = blaaaahweoawrhga84etg!

(...)

2 freaking Terabytes on an SD card........

― m0stlyClean, donderdag 30 juli 2009 3:30 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

John Cage's 4 years and 33 days of silence, available now on a 2TB card

― a being that goes on two legs and is ungrateful (dyao), donderdag 30 juli 2009 3:31 (5 hours ago) Bookmark

Also, looks like fascists are the third largest political group in ILX, who would've thought?

― Tuomas, donderdag 30 juli 2009 7:37 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

mods will be mods

― iatee, donderdag 30 juli 2009 7:42 (3 hours ago) Bookmark

Mods will be mods
When you're in need of shove they give you yellowcards and tempbans
Mods will be mods
When it's 3AM and you're still posting butt scans
Hold out your hands, cos mods will be mods
Right till you drop

"still posting butt scans"?

Needed something to rhyme with bans and hands.

http://www.addictinggames.com/buttscan.html