Yes, I know, creeping balkanisation etc. but why should we be left out?
But please leave cheeky Ovaltines at the door.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 13:35 (fifteen years ago) link
What do we do?
― Dr.C, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:03 (fifteen years ago) link
You tell us, you're the role models for those of us in our thirties, y'see.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link
My vision has gone 'bifocalish', ie I gotta take the glasses off to read.
― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:05 (fifteen years ago) link
left out we certainly be should not.
― t**t, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Ah, the Iain Sinclair "serendipitous random art collage" problem (xp).
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:11 (fifteen years ago) link
I wish I could afford a midlife crisis -- I'd sure have one.
― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:17 (fifteen years ago) link
Wait, what were we talking about again? I must have dozed off.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:18 (fifteen years ago) link
Btw, Rock, that just means you'll have to live longer.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link
The nights are fair drawing in.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link
My toes hurt -- do yours? I think it must be this weather.
― Brad C., Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:21 (fifteen years ago) link
Shit, Michael, with my genes I'm doomed to 95 years at least.
― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link
I blame it on so-called asylum seeking feral politically correct Broken Britain.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link
(the weather, that is)
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:23 (fifteen years ago) link
That monologue with Rhys Ifans last night.
What was all that about?
Eh?
I can't stop feeling all \o_O/ seeing twentysomething girls wearing essentially the same fashions that girls wore when I was twenty.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:28 (fifteen years ago) link
Actually more like when I was fifteen.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:29 (fifteen years ago) link
Haven't exactly been bombarded by deelyboppers and pop socks around these parts.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:30 (fifteen years ago) link
Shoreham - liminal, but copper messy.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:34 (fifteen years ago) link
One upside: being a dirty old man sort of suits me.
― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:35 (fifteen years ago) link
I had my midlife crisis from the ages of approx 15-42 so I reckon I'm due uncomplicated happiness now.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:36 (fifteen years ago) link
This thread is so much like me at an FAP that it's spooking me out.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:37 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah, I'm drinking here at work, too.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:38 (fifteen years ago) link
One upside: being a dirty old man sort of suits me. -- Rock Hardy
As per suits, I don't think I've got any I fit into anymore. On the, er, thinner side: I amn't that dirty really.
― t**t, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Just don't recognise anything in this thread. Including the posts I posted so that suggests it was probably a crap idea. Oh well, it was worth a momentary try.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:41 (fifteen years ago) link
Please to God never let me actually become a "fortysomething."
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:42 (fifteen years ago) link
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:48 (fifteen years ago) link
What are the characteristics of a fortysomething? (I bet I have most of them).
― Dr.C, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:52 (fifteen years ago) link
I can legally have an affair with someone half my age!
so, is anyone on for it?
― The Real Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:02 (fifteen years ago) link
thread is otm, though now I can also see how it mightn't be otm, and would not be surprised to find myself arguing either side of the question for fifteen minutes or so before getting completely distracted by some other stray thought
― J0hn D., Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:35 (fifteen years ago) link
They say memory is the second thing to go. I can't remember the first one.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:36 (fifteen years ago) link
My drug of choice these days is Back and Body aspirin, for that extra frisson of caffeine.
― Jaq, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:39 (fifteen years ago) link
Memory is going, true, but at least I remember the 70s
― Brad C., Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:47 (fifteen years ago) link
Memory is going, true, but at least I have begun forgetting the 70's.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:54 (fifteen years ago) link
hi.
um, I'm OK.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:43 (fifteen years ago) link
What are the characteristics of a fortysomething?
Being aged between 40 and 49. Anyway I though we were all 'middle youths' nowadays.
― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:46 (fifteen years ago) link
sorry to have woken you oldtimers up . but. I misread Marcello's OP as
But please leave cheeky Ovaries at the door.
-- Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, August 27, 2008 2:35 PM (7 hours ago)
― Thomas, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:47 (fifteen years ago) link
I'll have you know my ovaries are extremely well-behaved; veritable paragons of polite ovarian society.
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:49 (fifteen years ago) link
The ovaries are fine, but I'm prone to brain farts now.
― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:52 (fifteen years ago) link
The world's worst song.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:54 (fifteen years ago) link
Comparing your ovary to a Bronte C/D?
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:09 (fifteen years ago) link
Wuthering Ovaries
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Thrustcrotch Minge
― Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:14 (fifteen years ago) link
Carry On Bronteing
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:21 (fifteen years ago) link
-- Rock Hardy
^^^
― moley, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:31 (fifteen years ago) link
haven't you all heard - us 40+'rs are saving the music industry.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/stevelamacq/2008/08/to_bb_or_not_to_bb.html
― mark e, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:39 (fifteen years ago) link
Come on - you're not too old to have forgotten this thread already... I am too old for this...the 40 plus thread.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:44 (fifteen years ago) link
Don't even remember that thread but this one could do with a few more ovaries...
― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 August 2008 08:53 (fifteen years ago) link
my right knee
― already president FYI (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 19:33 (twelve years ago) link
wait, is your right knee also my right knee. Because - my right knee.
― The New Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 19:51 (twelve years ago) link
No knee problems, but a lingering cough and all.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 19:56 (twelve years ago) link
my left knee
― in an arrangement that mimics idiocy (Michael White), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 20:01 (twelve years ago) link
Knees still fine, but ow my aching fibroid. Roll on the menopause, please.
― Karen D. Tregaskin, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 20:08 (twelve years ago) link
back pain... bruised rib?
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 15:52 (twelve years ago) link
Have you banged a rib?
― le ralliement du doute et de l'erreur (Michael White), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:21 (twelve years ago) link
Not that I remember ... had a sidewalk fall about 6 weeks ago but I'm positive I landed on knees.
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:25 (twelve years ago) link
I always have back pain. I just attribute it to "lol old, also sit up straight dummy" at this point.
Had surgery three weeks ago to correct a compressed ulnar nerve in my left arm. Incision is taking it's sweet time healing all the way.
The rest of my 40s are going to suck, aren't they.
― A Full Torgo Apparition (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:28 (twelve years ago) link
Upper, lower, middle back, Morbz?
― le ralliement du doute et de l'erreur (Michael White), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:29 (twelve years ago) link
left middle-lower
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:31 (twelve years ago) link
Saggy mattress? I can definitely trace my back pain to mattress + increasing girth.
― Steamtable Willie (WmC), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:32 (twelve years ago) link
Yeah, I try to sleep flat on my back w/a pillow under my knees when I get back pain.
― le ralliement du doute et de l'erreur (Michael White), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:36 (twelve years ago) link
well I sleep with my bed titled to ease the acid reflux. But yeah, mattress is old and crap.
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:39 (twelve years ago) link
Lord Paillasse?
Tilted means your back is still bearing weight.
― le ralliement du doute et de l'erreur (Michael White), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:44 (twelve years ago) link
usually sleep on my side (the right since pain started obv)
but pain is not as bad as it was in January.
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:47 (twelve years ago) link
Seen a chiropractor at all or anybody, really?
― le ralliement du doute et de l'erreur (Michael White), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:52 (twelve years ago) link
as an ILXOR in my 40s, I can confirm that GOOD POSTURE is urgent and key - even making the effort to sit up straighter at yr desk can have a tremendously positive effect on neck and back pain
― Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 16:58 (twelve years ago) link
I sleep on my side as well, and trial and error has led to this successful formula: an extra pillow to straighten my neck, and a pillow between my legs to elevate my top leg and straighten my spine. I'm still grinked up in the morning, but it eases by my 2nd cup of coffee.
― Steamtable Willie (WmC), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:45 (twelve years ago) link
I see my GP every summer, and that takes effort.
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:53 (twelve years ago) link
ppl our age really can't eat Indian food w/out sacrifice, eh?
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 16:24 (twelve years ago) link
tmi
― curmudgeon, Tuesday, 6 March 2012 16:35 (twelve years ago) link
wow, earliest sign here of my back pain that turned out to be Something Serious, unrelated to posture. Had no idea it started in winter.
Hesitated this time before throwing out mailing w/ AARP card.
― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Friday, 4 January 2013 16:45 (eleven years ago) link
― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, August 27, 2008 11:05 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
This is driving me fkin CRAZY. I just got new frames, which I love, but I only get to wear em 15% of the time. I opted not to get the progressive lenses bc I was afraid it would be annoying but...
Also damn but I (b.1970) spent 2012 feeling just physically OLD.
― ~farben~ (Jon Lewis), Friday, 4 January 2013 16:53 (eleven years ago) link
I feel great, I realize I'm fortunate to remember things other people don't, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. My sister doesn't remember our grandfather, for example - he died in 1975. I think she feels this loss, it's a piece of her history she can only access through pictures.
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Italo Night at Some Gay Club (Mount Cleaners), Friday, 4 January 2013 17:17 (eleven years ago) link
a sign of middle age truculence ids you're stil lwilling to put up with the morning after Indian food.
(yes i have passed out of strict eligibility for this thread, whatcha gonna do abt it?)
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 February 2014 17:04 (ten years ago) link
Hi dere
― Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 6 August 2016 11:05 (seven years ago) link
owhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ7NMg3-E50
― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Saturday, 6 August 2016 11:14 (seven years ago) link
Welp.
― Pascal's Penisés (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 September 2017 10:22 (six years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB74GuvPBh8
― imago, Thursday, 7 September 2017 10:25 (six years ago) link
lol u old
― Wesley Shackleton explained "look at that beast." (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 7 September 2017 11:27 (six years ago) link
When I was a young, I lolled as a young. When I became an old, I put away slacks that only went as high as my waist.
― Pascal's Penisés (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 September 2017 12:03 (six years ago) link
Oof. Hello.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 28 December 2017 15:59 (six years ago) link
Whassup fellow elders!
― calstars, Thursday, 28 December 2017 16:33 (six years ago) link
Two months to go then I'm hitting the next thread up, bye-bye 40s it was (not) fun
― めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Thursday, 28 December 2017 16:58 (six years ago) link
Three years and two months for me still, so let's see how the last quarter of fortydom plays out.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 28 December 2017 17:09 (six years ago) link
http://blog.mtgprice.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Pain.jpg
I have 47 months of my 40s left. Wheeeee!
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Thursday, 28 December 2017 17:14 (six years ago) link
on the plus side - I've felt so jaded in my 40's, that rather than worrying about illness and mortality, I started thinking: let's not be so reductive about death here.
― calzino, Thursday, 28 December 2017 17:27 (six years ago) link
one month left for me.~ sigh ~
― mark e, Thursday, 28 December 2017 17:59 (six years ago) link
Same. Thirty-one days exactly!
― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 28 December 2017 18:52 (six years ago) link
See y'all in a few months!
― iCloudius (cryptosicko), Thursday, 28 December 2017 19:02 (six years ago) link
I feel like I should throw a party but I have hearing damage and it would basically involve me having a five-hour migraine and hiding from people. I do want to celebrate, though. Just trying to figure out how.
― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 28 December 2017 19:07 (six years ago) link
post that effortlessly sum up being in your forties tbh.
― Fizzles, Thursday, 28 December 2017 19:08 (six years ago) link
and lol at calzino. eventual death doesn’t seem nearly so much of a bad deal as it once did.
Seriously, sadly.
Just realized even though they just started that my 40s are already 1/40th over. Guess I need to hurry up and write that book or whatever it is I'm doing with this stupid 'life' thing before I'm a brittle dusty mummy.
― Encyclopedia Beige and the Case of the Bland Sandwich (Old Lunch), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:51 (six years ago) link
My own (hopefully distant) death, although unwelcome, has much less fear and anxiety for me now compared to the not-that-far-off deaths of certain people around me. I know I'll cope when they pass on, but being 18 and not having to think about any of that seems like it happened to a different person in a different century (oh wait that last part is true). OTOH all of that is usually blocked out by the constant front-and-centre problem of not having any money.
― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Thursday, 28 December 2017 21:00 (six years ago) link
Old Lunch get busy ! Stumbling forward pretending you know what you’re doing is fun
― calstars, Thursday, 28 December 2017 21:45 (six years ago) link
40s not working out so far
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 28 December 2017 21:58 (six years ago) link
9 more glorious months
― Lyudmila Pavlichenko (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 28 December 2017 22:00 (six years ago) link
just under 12 months left gods willing
I think I learned a lot of stuff this decade, unfortunately a lot of it was learned the hard way but at least I learned.
unless personal growth is a sick trick our brains play on us to disguise the march towards oblivion
― a Rambo in curved air (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 28 December 2017 23:13 (six years ago) link
“God wiling” is right. One of the things I’ve realized is that I can be struck down any day now.
― calstars, Thursday, 28 December 2017 23:15 (six years ago) link
unless personal growth is a sick trick our brains play on us to disguise the march towards oblivionit’s this
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 28 December 2017 23:43 (six years ago) link
i recently became one of these :(
― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Thursday, 28 December 2017 23:44 (six years ago) link
My own (hopefully distant) death, although unwelcome, has much less fear and anxiety for me now compared to the not-that-far-off deaths of certain people around me.
yeah :( ... I feel like the past year has been a consistent stream of people I know dying, some older, some fellow 40-somethings, some much younger. Apart from that, my 40s are so much better than my 30s.
― sarahell, Friday, 29 December 2017 09:38 (six years ago) link
I remember someone telling me that 40 is the cut-off point for "promising". By then, you've either delivered on your promise or you haven't.
But enjoy your 40s, people. I'm in my early 50s, and I can report it's worse.
― Zelda Zonk, Friday, 29 December 2017 10:31 (six years ago) link
I remember someone telling me that 40 is the cut-off point for "promising". By then, you've either delivered on your promise or you haven't.But enjoy your 40s, people. I'm in my early 50s, and I can report it's worse.
― Fizzles, Friday, 29 December 2017 13:56 (six years ago) link
posts very much in character
― the ghost of tom, choad (thomp), Friday, 29 December 2017 14:08 (six years ago) link
agree about the inadequacy of "potential" and "failure" as concepts - they're just wrong ways of seeing the world, and super-especially wrong ways of seeing oneself. one of the things i've been working on with my counselor. my potential was always some shit other people were trying to lay on me, until the point where it internalized. but i don't think i care about most of that tbh. the paths i cd've taken would have had their own quiddities and agonies, and i don't believe any of them would have taken me any closer to who i want to be.
acceptance isn't acquiescence. i think i'm beginning to understand the satisfaction of that bare high-wattage bulb. think it throws a lot of unnecessary baggage into the shadows where it belongs.
― a Rambo in curved air (Noodle Vague), Friday, 29 December 2017 14:16 (six years ago) link
You would think at this age people would stop telling me "oh, you're young, you've got plenty of time" when I tell them I don't have children.
(Never mind the assumption that I want them!)
― tokyo rosemary, Friday, 29 December 2017 14:20 (six years ago) link
Or that people would stop asking if I've finished with school YES NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AGO.
― tokyo rosemary, Friday, 29 December 2017 14:23 (six years ago) link
acceptance isn't acquiescence. i think i'm beginning to understand the satisfaction of that bare high-wattage bulb. think it throws a lot of unnecessary baggage into the shadows where it belongs.yes this is rly well put and what i think i was trying to reach towards.
― Fizzles, Friday, 29 December 2017 17:10 (six years ago) link
Enjoy your 40s like you enjoy every day that you can.
What you see much more in your 40s is people leaving you permanently. You appreciate the fragility of life much more in your 40s, particularly as you near 50.
When someone tells you that you are in "the fall of your life" it carries so much more weight.
― Lyudmila Pavlichenko (dandydonweiner), Friday, 29 December 2017 18:17 (six years ago) link
― Fizzles, Friday, 29 December 2017 18:35 (six years ago) link
agree about the inadequacy of "potential" and "failure" as concepts - they're just wrong ways of seeing the world
Around age 40 I wrote a poem I titled "Killing My Potential". The gist was that my 'potential' was always an unhelpful imposition by others, which I neither wanted nor asked for, and disencumbering myself of it was a wise and necessary move.
― A is for (Aimless), Friday, 29 December 2017 18:45 (six years ago) link
― Fizzles, Friday, 29 December 2017 19:46 (six years ago) link
It is usually asked at work most often by security guards or customers making small talk, I guess. (See also the guard whose second question to me was where did my boyfriend work.) Although the VP asked it once, and I just wanted to ask, did you even read any of our resumes that I know are on file?
― tokyo rosemary, Saturday, 30 December 2017 02:21 (six years ago) link
40 has been an ok year. I've had a more active social life than I've had in awhile and have been meeting new people and making new friends.
― tokyo rosemary, Saturday, 30 December 2017 02:28 (six years ago) link
one time when i learned how direly old tokyo r was i exclaimed 'wow, you look much younger!' and she said 'i know!'
― mookieproof, Saturday, 30 December 2017 02:54 (six years ago) link
i always enjoy your longposts, fizzles.
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 30 December 2017 02:59 (six years ago) link
40.5 rn, so far not so bad
― the late great, Saturday, 30 December 2017 03:04 (six years ago) link
Forties have been pretty good to me! More perspective, less lack of clarity, more acceptance of what i need and where i can accept not excelling. Definitely a half step up from the thirties so far.One caveat: i am now in pain all the time. So there is that.
― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 30 December 2017 03:10 (six years ago) link
This is true.
― tokyo rosemary, Saturday, 30 December 2017 03:30 (six years ago) link
I'm closing in on 41. Not sure if it's been the best of years, but it's definitely... making aspects of life more real somehow, and making me more aware of time's passage, that there's stuff I HAVE to deal with before long, etc.
― The Harsh Tutelage of Michael McDonald (Raymond Cummings), Saturday, 30 December 2017 03:30 (six years ago) link
there's not much time left before i am sentenced to a decade of hard time in this thread
what cool stuff should i do before then to milk my thirties for all they're worth
― j., Saturday, 30 December 2017 03:42 (six years ago) link
nothing man
40s are the new 30s anyway
― the late great, Saturday, 30 December 2017 04:08 (six years ago) link
There isn't a fifties thread.
― Mark G, Saturday, 30 December 2017 09:36 (six years ago) link
I had an OK 40s. In my 40s, I'd squarely reached middle age, and yet the worst of middle age had yet to hit me. I felt in the midst of life, bringing up a child, doing enough of the creative things I'd always wanted to do not to feel too bitter and twisted. The idea of my own death had yet to take too much of a hold on me, and physically all was not too bad. Now in my early 50s, my body is not playing ball so much, I'm taking pills for cholesterol and hypertension, a bad knee has stopped me from jogging for the past year, and mortality feels so much closer. My parents are ailing, my Dad is sliding into dementia. There's a real feeling of "this is it, this is the life you've made, you had your chance and this is what you did with it". I mean it's not all bad, but I feel a kind of fatalism about things...
― Zelda Zonk, Saturday, 30 December 2017 10:27 (six years ago) link
There isn't a fifties thread.it’s inevitable
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 30 December 2017 10:43 (six years ago) link
See you all on the ILXor fifties thread in six and a bit years. Hopefully I won't be flat broke by then.
― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Saturday, 30 December 2017 11:49 (six years ago) link
I'm only beginning to not be the youngest person in my line of work, aside from grad students. I am moving into the middle period of this thread's subject. It is strange to watch the world turn to amber around you.
― droit au butt (Euler), Saturday, 30 December 2017 12:05 (six years ago) link
this will make me sound about 90 but i’m consistently impressed by the younger people coming through. they are focused, switched on, sexually frank, even cynical and uninhibited, aware, “woke” if you like, hard working, professional and competent. i’m sure they’re not all like this but it feels like the next-gen is like “next gen” is sometimes used in a technology sense - better, cleverer, smarter. hopefully recouping some of that “coastal shelf” discussed in the this be the verse thread.moving into my forties - and this is partly because of the state of the u.k. at the moment - i feel i’m doing far more of my learning from people younger than me than i am from people older than me. this is good.
― Fizzles, Saturday, 30 December 2017 14:12 (six years ago) link
haha ditto
― In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Saturday, 30 December 2017 14:17 (six years ago) link
it’s inevitable
I'll break out a sixties thread in 2021, if someone else doesn't do it first.
I like Fizzles post. I don't necessarily agree--primarily because of demographic gap; between the kids in my school (14 and under) and the youngest teachers I work with (basically, 30), I don't know really know anyone 15-30--but it's a nice change from the usual whining from people like me.
― clemenza, Saturday, 30 December 2017 14:27 (six years ago) link
I'm 46 and have generally enjoyed my forties. It's been a good time for me in terms of general well-being / happiness / stability. Marriage, children, music-making, and work are all going fine. I have a mix of childhood friends and new ones, my family doesn't drive me nuts, I have low-key interests and few needs.
My body is definitely feeling it, though. Nothing dire, but a steady stream of minor complaints. Unexplained pains here and nagging aches there. Needing different glasses for the computer vs. reading vs. distance. I'm trying to take all this with good humor.
My body is getting to a state like that of a beloved car with a lot of mileage on it. Things are starting to wear out, some bits just fell off somewhere and haven't been replaced. At some point something major is going to need to be repaired, and it won't be worth it; my wife will have me towed off to the junkyard. But not today. Not yet.
― twas in the fleek midwinter (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 30 December 2017 17:03 (six years ago) link
My forties have been absolutely shit so far and this year doesn't look like it's going to be any better.
― Colonel Poo, Saturday, 30 December 2017 17:34 (six years ago) link
username checks out
― twas in the fleek midwinter (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 30 December 2017 17:34 (six years ago) link
I could start one now, but it would be fairly lonesome in there. I've seen strong hints that there are a few other over-60 ilxors, but they tend not to flaunt their age. Even if they did out themselves, I'm not sure there'd be very much to say.
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 30 December 2017 18:03 (six years ago) link
Medicare providers S/D C/D
― calstars, Saturday, 30 December 2017 18:15 (six years ago) link
What, end up getting escorted to the Hoffman pages?
― Mark G, Saturday, 30 December 2017 18:29 (six years ago) link
My sense was that you were already there, Aimless, but didn't want to be presumptuous.
― clemenza, Saturday, 30 December 2017 21:18 (six years ago) link
Had to shoehorn myself into the forties thread and you gave me the opening.
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 30 December 2017 21:33 (six years ago) link
My forties have been a calamity. Did some good work at the beginning that pointed me in some interesting new directions, but starting midway through 42, there was a loud gear shift into a slow crawl of misfortunes which continues to deliver at least one new insupportable weight per annum. Am at this point just a collection of maladaptive tics, bottled-up resentment stories, counterproductive self-soothing strategies that walks like a person. I always knew I should never be a parent because the enormity of the responsibility would drive me insane, but I’ve ended up more or less right in that place without kids anyway, and lo and behold it’s ruined my mind. Occasionally I am able to confirm that the prior, useful me is still in there under debris. Am glad that’s the case. I’ll turn 50 in mid-2020.
― I would never REALLY sign your death warrant! You're my-- my DOG! (Jon not Jon), Sunday, 31 December 2017 15:20 (six years ago) link
Feel you bro
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2017 15:29 (six years ago) link
Turned 46 two weeks ago. On the career side, I feel great - the last time I had a regular office job was in May 2016, and we (25th wedding anniversary coming up in June!) are still living in middle-class comfort based solely on freelance work. Health-wise, well, I'm diabetic, but other than that things are fine - I've always been remarkably lucky with stuff like that, never even broke a limb growing up.
As far as life ambitions, I have a single big idea I'm working on: escaping the US. I think I can pull it off. Beyond that, I'm just gonna keep working and doing things I enjoy - my website and the podcast I launched in October - and maybe write another book in 2018.
I don't care about young people at all anymore. If you're under 30 (35, if I'm being honest), your opinion means nothing to me, basically. I just assume you're an idiot and wait for someone who's actually lived in the world for a while to speak up.
― grawlix (unperson), Sunday, 31 December 2017 15:42 (six years ago) link
Not feeling this bro tho
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 31 December 2017 15:45 (six years ago) link
Some of the nicest people I've met in the last five years have been Millennials.
― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Sunday, 31 December 2017 15:51 (six years ago) link
Unperson, move to one of these countries. https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-youngest-populations-in-the-world.html
― Jeff, Sunday, 31 December 2017 15:52 (six years ago) link
Nah - I'm headed for that Mediterranean island where everybody lives to be 110.
― grawlix (unperson), Sunday, 31 December 2017 15:57 (six years ago) link
thought you meant the Isle of Wight for a minute
― a Rambo in curved air (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 31 December 2017 16:06 (six years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/magazine/the-island-where-people-forget-to-die.html
― grawlix (unperson), Sunday, 31 December 2017 16:07 (six years ago) link
Whenever I'm tempted to think or say something like "you'll understand when you're older," I try to remember how that felt when people said it to me when I was 27.
My parents-in-law came to visit last week. I did some mathing and realized that when they met me (I was 27), they were my current age (46). They thought they knew a lot about the world and that I was a callow youth who didn't deserve their precious daughter. Now that I'm here (age-wise, at least) I realize that probably everybody's improvising to some extent. Faking it to some extent. "Performing" adulthood to some extent.
I have vivid memories of my parents in their forties. They seemed like they knew what they were doing, they seemed like they had shit figured out. They didn't. They probably got just as lost and confused and scared as I get sometimes, but they didn't show it.
THAT SAID, sometimes I wonder how much of this is perception and how much of it is real cultural change. In the 60s/70s, at least some people married younger and started childbearing younger. They were expected to grow up pretty fast by today's standards. ("Today's standards" includes 30-year-old men whose moms still fold their underwear.)
My eldest sibling was born in the University of Missouri's Married Student Housing. I don't think most contemporary colleges have "Married Student Housing," let alone with children. The very idea might seem absurd. How the fuck are two 22-year-old English/Philosophy majors married and having a baby?
― twas in the fleek midwinter (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 31 December 2017 16:13 (six years ago) link
Now that I'm here (age-wise, at least) I realize that probably everybody's improvising to some extent. Faking it to some extent. "Performing" adulthood to some extent.
This x10000
I'm 44
Not sure when "wise" is supposed to happen. 50? 80? Never?
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 31 December 2017 16:18 (six years ago) link
I saw Guided By Voices last night (they were great), but they made me remember that back when the band was hitting its out of the underground peak, around 1994, the two big takeaways were that the singer was 1) a former school teacher and 2) old. Robert Pollard just turned 60, which means back in 1994 that "old" guy was considerably younger than I am now (almost 43).
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 31 December 2017 16:19 (six years ago) link
there are still some MLB players who are older than me, which gives me comfort. but since the players are Bartolo Colon, Ichiro, and R.A. Dickey it's cold comfort.
― omar little, Sunday, 31 December 2017 16:24 (six years ago) link
once i wanted to be the greatest (greatest greatest greatest!)
― mookieproof, Monday, 1 January 2018 04:32 (six years ago) link
• I used to keep tabs on my age and the age JFK was elected. Now I'm counting down the days until I pass whatever age he was on 11/22/63.
• The junior U.S. Senator from my state is four years younger than me. Fuckin' junior.
• Listened to the Doors recently, and for the first time, I was just all "Ha, just listen to this kid. He thinks he's got it all worked out, doesn't he?"
• On the same side of the coin, I listened to the Doors recently and whaddya know, they fuckin' rock.
• I lifted a rock the other day and placed it about four feet away from where it had been. I couldn't stand up without pain for about three days.
My great-uncle died this year at 85, so I keep thinking, hey, I might not even be halfway there yet. In some ways, that's exciting. In other ways, well, I certainly envy JFK and Jim Morrison every once in awhile, especially after I've been picking up rocks.
― pplains, Monday, 1 January 2018 04:44 (six years ago) link
I was just thinking about my first concert which is still fresh in my memory, and how going forward the same amount of time I'll be 70 years old. Still younger than Harrison Ford is today!
― omar little, Monday, 1 January 2018 05:12 (six years ago) link
My dad died at 72 but my mom is still cruising along at 89 so I’m hoping I’ve got a few decades to reread some shit.
― I would never REALLY sign your death warrant! You're my-- my DOG! (Jon not Jon), Monday, 1 January 2018 05:28 (six years ago) link
i have a mentor who's like twice as old as me, so knowing him is kind of like seeing a preview of my possible future, but even still it kind of boggles my mind that i could live another forty years - like, what the hell are you supposed to do for forty years??
― j., Monday, 1 January 2018 05:58 (six years ago) link
Still younger than Harrison Ford is today!
Ford is 75 now, I'll be that age in 2049. So I'm the same age as Rick Deckard.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Monday, 1 January 2018 10:14 (six years ago) link
Also I'm in better shape than Deckard because a) I no longer drink, and b) I'm not getting beaten up by replicants all the time.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Monday, 1 January 2018 10:21 (six years ago) link
many xposts to Jon. Godspeed to things getting better for you soon. My feeling is we make harsh judgments on ourselves and our capabilities as we get older and, tho i can only speak for myself, this certainly isn’t fair and often isn’t even correct. if i revisit what material evidence there is of my thoughts and capabilities from say twenty years ago, when things felt so intellectually fluent and bright i’m both pleased that they just exist but also feel they can be lacking in things i now feel i have. not intellectual fluency perhaps, no, definitely not that, but experience. how is experience apparent or defined? i wonder whether it’s actually the stylistic effect of having to grind the no longer fluent mental gears a bit more. having to work against all the impediments, both material and emotional or intellectual that age brings. like the formal constraints of poetry, maybe these constraints, as much as they feel they incapacitate us, make for better work. less marvellous maybe, but better. regardless, wishing you and yoursvery well for 2018, and hope we get to hook up again at some point in the year.
― Fizzles, Monday, 1 January 2018 11:27 (six years ago) link
Oh I forgot, I outlived my dad this year. :(
― tokyo rosemary, Monday, 1 January 2018 15:00 (six years ago) link
yeah that's weird, my dad was killed in a car accident and I realized I was older than him, very surreal
― Joan Digimon (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 1 January 2018 15:12 (six years ago) link
My dad died at 56. But he was a bad diabetic (Type 1 since age 3 or so, smoked, drank, was generally sedentary), and I'm better behaved than he was (don't drink, don't smoke, try to go for a walk now and then), so I figure I'll break his record.
― grawlix (unperson), Monday, 1 January 2018 15:14 (six years ago) link
it's always crazy to me the number of people who have been on here for 15+ years--lots of us in our 40s who've been on here since we were in our 20s. Blows my mind.
― Alan Watts (dandydonweiner), Monday, 1 January 2018 20:33 (six years ago) link
(although I was in my 30s already back in the early days)
I would have been...29 when ILX began, and now I'm a couple of months from turning 47. Hm.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 January 2018 21:33 (six years ago) link
in at 26 i believe.
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 1 January 2018 21:33 (six years ago) link
I think I started posting in 2004 or 2005, so I was 33 or 34. (I did take a long break, and have had several periods of mostly lurking, though.)
― sympathy for the tasmanian devil (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 1 January 2018 21:37 (six years ago) link
I'd've been 35 I'm pretty sure, I'm kind of a noob
― you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Monday, 1 January 2018 22:13 (six years ago) link
I've been here for just over a decade, so 33 as well.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Monday, 1 January 2018 22:22 (six years ago) link
I asked my mom (who is a little over 70), if you could go back in time, knowing your current health and how you generally feel, would you change any of your behavior or exercise more or anything? Now, granted, she never smoke or drank, but she basically said she wouldn't change a thing except maybe eat less meat.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 1 January 2018 23:11 (six years ago) link
Hmm, it seems I was 42 when I started here, now am 56
― Mark G, Monday, 1 January 2018 23:17 (six years ago) link
I was 29 when I first started posting here too.
― pplains, Monday, 1 January 2018 23:29 (six years ago) link
I am now 72 years old.
I know, you're all like But how? and I'm all, Yeah, I know!
― pplains, Monday, 1 January 2018 23:30 (six years ago) link
Having no other remorse healthwise when you're over 70 other than having eaten a bit too much red meat are real goals. God I'll just put myself in the deadpool for this year.
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 1 January 2018 23:41 (six years ago) link
Yeah, okay, holy shit, I just realized that I was like 26 when I first started posting here, thanks so much for the extra reminder of oldness.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Monday, 1 January 2018 23:56 (six years ago) link
this thread is amazing. unperson what's your podcast??
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 00:20 (six years ago) link
in real life i'm in my 40s but on ilx I'm always 28 btw, this is just a cameo
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 00:25 (six years ago) link
unperson what's your podcast??
Interviews with musicians, 45-60 minutes long, once every two weeks. Next one comes out on Friday.
http://burningambulance.blubrry.net/
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/burning-ambulance-podcast/id1296224800?mt=2
― grawlix (unperson), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 00:55 (six years ago) link
for real though, do we have 60+ ilxors?
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 04:37 (six years ago) link
Yup. I'm 63 and counting. I have strong suspicions about a few others, but I seem to be the only one who puts a number out there.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 04:40 (six years ago) link
I was mad for newsgroups back in the 90s but now at 47 I find ILX to be the Platonic ideal of an online community.
― attention vampire (MatthewK), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 05:31 (six years ago) link
and shit, only a little over 3 months from being 48
Reading this thread with trepidatious anticipation; I'll be joining you in 17 months. I was 21 or maybe just 22 when I started posting.
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 07:42 (six years ago) link
I am thy father's spirit, doomed for a certain term to walk the night
57
― Brad C., Tuesday, 2 January 2018 13:20 (six years ago) link
yay oldies
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 15:53 (six years ago) link
― pplains, Monday, January 1, 2018 6:29 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Me too. Eleven years. Jesus.
So I turned 40 and it was p good. Despite my thread revive and "oof" post I'm excited for my 40s which I think this will be my best decade yet.
People generally think I'm a lot younger than I am and often guess anywhere from 28-32 which I've always taken as a compliment but lately I've begun to wonder if it is indicative of some kind of immaturity on my part and not just the fact that I look young. I don't know. My worrying about this is probably more a projection of my own fears of not being adult enough than anything else because most of the time I don't really feel that much different than I did when I was 18.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:23 (six years ago) link
People used to regularly express surprise when they'd discover that I was roughly a decade or so older than they assumed but within the last couple of years the reaction has been more along the lines of 'yeaaaaah, that seems about right.' It's been...humbling.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:48 (six years ago) link
I used to get stopped for police line-ups with 40 year old blokes when I was 21. Once one of the filth reassured me in a very sensitive manner: "don't worry you look older than your age, lad"
― calzino, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:52 (six years ago) link
xp
yep, that's been one of the fun differences between my early 40s and late 40s
― you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:53 (six years ago) link
Middle-Aged Lunch OTM.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:53 (six years ago) link
we're close to our "twenty years of ILE" bash
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:55 (six years ago) link
Yup. The exact 20th anniversary of ILX as a whole, starting with the birth of ILM, will be in about two years and seven months or so.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:01 (six years ago) link
All of you hush and let me enjoy looking young thing while it lasts, dammit. ;) Also, I noticed little crows' feet for the first time recently and was kind of excited about it so it's not something I'm stressing about too much tbh.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:06 (six years ago) link
hello I am 41
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:06 (six years ago) link
First posted here approximately 15 years ago – was 17 at the time. This place begins to make more sense once you hit 30.
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:07 (six years ago) link
ENBB, you might be the youngest 40something in here, so congrats.
I've always been told I was an old man ("born in a leisure suit," as my father used to tell people.) I embraced it back then, but now that I'm actually turning into an actual old man, it's not as cute anymore.
We were watching a mid-morning showing of Pulp Fiction on AMC yesterday. Between the Old People Personals commercials that were running in the breaks and that whole "Wait, you just ordered a five-dollar milkshake????? dialogue, I felt like I was 100.
― pplains, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:17 (six years ago) link
Ha the five-dollar milkshake????? dialogue thing occurred to me sometime over the last year and made me feel ancient too. Don't think you could get one for under that at a diner around here now.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:26 (six years ago) link
Hello I am 41 2! I've been here approximately forever.
I think this decade is going to be the best yet. This getting older thing has really brought the benefits, ime.
― Conic section rebellion 44 (in orbit), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:43 (six years ago) link
Also a member of 41 club. Also get told I look younger than I am but I think that is starting to change. At least I think I've aged - a few more grey hairs, I've put on a bit of weight (always used to be skinny but I'm 16 stone now) etc etc. I did get ID'd for booze in shops twice in 2017 though which hadn't happened to me for 6 years.
I was 27 when I started posting here...
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:48 (six years ago) link
i have been on ilx since 2002 or 3? so since i was... crikey... 26 or sowe are old, father william
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:51 (six years ago) link
i like not caring as much about ppl i dont know and what they may or may not think of me that is the thing about my 40’s that i looove
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:53 (six years ago) link
Yes.
I can be painfully self-conscious and over the past year when this has happened I've sometimes told myself "fuck what anyone thinks you're awesome and almost 40 who gives a shit what anyone else thinks?" and it has actually worked. I mean, sure, I still have to actually remind myself of this but it's a start.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:01 (six years ago) link
the thing that happens a lot for me is the realization that the person i'm talking to and hanging out with is literally young enough to be my child.
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:02 (six years ago) link
Yeah but that's been the case for a while now.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:05 (six years ago) link
xp I'm still painfully neurotic but my mum told me at Xmas she stopped giving a shit a couple of years ago. She's 58 so maybe by my mid-fifties I won't be a complete wreck mentally?
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:07 (six years ago) link
I mean at least for me it's something I started realizing of teenagers about 10 years ago that if I'd had a kind when I was a late teen then current teenagers could technically be mine. Also, when i worked for that youth center and was only 2 years younger than one of the girl's on my caseload's mom.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:08 (six years ago) link
Woah young mom!
And ok lol maybe we can hope for that. Also, my mom was on the older side (she passed 6 months ago at 78) so I think that just seems especially young to me.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:09 (six years ago) link
I haven't quite figured out how to stop caring what people think about me (although I've definitely come a long way in recent years) but I've realized lately that I'm not really concerned with trying to impress anyone anymore. That feels like a solid start.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:11 (six years ago) link
xpSorry to hear that ENBB. My wife's mum had her late too, she's 84 now, 5 years older than my grandma
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:11 (six years ago) link
Weird to look at old ILX posts from 2003-2004 and think "wow what immature twentysomething would say something like th--ohhh"
― omar little, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:11 (six years ago) link
ha, yes
x-post Thank you, CP.
It's kind of crazy how we're nearly the same age but have parents decades about in age. I would still like to parent in some form (whether my own bio kid/s or adopted/fostered) and sometimes worry about being an older parent but I honestly don't think I would have been ready much before now at all.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:18 (six years ago) link
*apart* not about oops
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:19 (six years ago) link
U all old af but <3 anyway
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:37 (six years ago) link
deems you’re older than all of us in spirit
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:21 (six years ago) link
Deems is our Yoda, hundreds of years old and forever hitting us in the face with his staff.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:28 (six years ago) link
"Page-turners, they were not. The adaptations, even worse."
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:29 (six years ago) link
hahahaha
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:32 (six years ago) link
Lol
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:37 (six years ago) link
Unbelievably I forgot to tell you guys about the major corner I turned last week in my journey to senescence:Bought myself a motherfucking lanyard neck cord thingy for my motherfucking bifocals, you fuckers! It’s such a relief. Why yes, I am the caretaker of this property.
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:50 (six years ago) link
Yep, me also. Probably the gray in the beard gives me away. Or the thin hair on top. The circles under the eyes? Hard to say really. Surely it's not a reduction in my boyish joie de vivre.
My 40s started rough but have been pretty great, all told. Best decade of my adult life, for sure. I'll be 49 this fall, so ... hope the trend continues into years that start with five.
― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:56 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/faJ2rWF.jpg
That one was easy. xp
― pplains, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:01 (six years ago) link
Jon not Jon, it better be one of these and not one of those modern-looking lanyards.
https://i.imgur.com/h5h5DlX.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:03 (six years ago) link
^ uncanny resemblance to deems (xp)
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:03 (six years ago) link
great, now I have Shane MacGowan in my head singing “...and they called him the irish yooo-da”
xps
― faust apes (NickB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:06 (six years ago) link
I am 47 btw, where the fuck has my life gone?
― faust apes (NickB), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:07 (six years ago) link
Jesus you old fuckers are mean imma leave this thread until my time
yyyyyeeeeaaarrrss from now
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:07 (six years ago) link
It's kind of amazing to me how many under-30 dudes I see whose hair is almost or entirely gone on top. I still have my hair, and while I don't think I look 30 at 46, I do look several years younger than I am. I think part of it is that I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I haven't got any kids. Kids make your hair fall out.
― grawlix (unperson), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:11 (six years ago) link
My hair on top was almost completely gone before I even hit 30. It was nice to get at least one indignity out of the way early.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:14 (six years ago) link
Crossed fingers but looks like my hair is here to stay for a while.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:18 (six years ago) link
god ned lord willing
― j., Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:27 (six years ago) link
Xpost to pplains yeah it’s that kind, except for a sort of black shoelace instead of a chain.
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:34 (six years ago) link
I'm still getting away with 'forty-ish', so when I do go grey or thinning, can't really complain.
My wife is ten years younger, so hey.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:36 (six years ago) link
I am old enough to remember logging in to ILE with a PC that had a giant red SWITCH hooked right to the mother board on a PC that seemed as big as a main frame - and I still am able to leap 5 feet in the air - the reulst of good eating
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 21:06 (six years ago) link
"still" - a nice touch there
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 21:12 (six years ago) link
Was the five foot leap as a result of getting an electric shock off the giant red switch?
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 21:19 (six years ago) link
It's kind of amazing to me how many under-30 dudes I see whose hair is almost or entirely gone on top.
We publish an annual 4O Under 4O feature that showcases high-rising and influential movers and shakers who have yet to reach their fourth decade.
And whatever jealousy I may have had toward these successful people is completely off-set by how they all look twice my age. Apparently hard work and big money will wear you out!
― pplains, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 22:03 (six years ago) link
that would explain why I've still got a full head of hair
― you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 23:24 (six years ago) link
Male pattern baldness isn't a choice nor is it stress related, if someone looking not dissimilar to Zidane or Larry David shagged your mam, then it's just a part of the ageing process! You think any of us ugly bastards would choose to look like this! jokes of course.I have a cousin in his early 40's who is the singer in a wedding band who has had a Rooney style hair weave. He looks fucking preposterous, a younger version of him already popped up on your Swagger Roses thread!
― calzino, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 23:58 (six years ago) link
oi zidane shagged me mam
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 00:14 (six years ago) link
I should've said those bright and prosperous people have lost more than their hair.
― pplains, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 00:38 (six years ago) link
Not saying they're unattractive either. Just saying.... boy, I would've never carded any of these people back in my Liquor Depot days.
39https://i.imgur.com/SoKxmtk.jpg
35https://i.imgur.com/sid2dzg.jpg
35 https://i.imgur.com/M3ZzNWW.jpg
29!https://i.imgur.com/VXoONRs.jpg?1
― pplains, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 00:50 (six years ago) link
i thought i my biology teacher in high school said that someone's hair traits come from the mother's side via genetics
― dynamicinterface, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 01:20 (six years ago) link
I meet up with a group of childhood friends about this time every year for touch football and pizza. It's been interesting watching us collectively age; it's like a 30-year longitudinal study. The men going bald on top have generally shaved their heads entirely and/or worn knit hats. At some point somebody is going to stop bothering and just go ahead and let it show.
Men on both sides of my family have died with full heads of hair so that's not likely to be an issue for me. I am greying at the temples and I love it, particularly in the workplace. Professionally I benefit from exhibition gravitas. For a long time I looked a bit too young to be taken very seriously and I'm glad that's ebbing.
― deez nuts roasting on an open fire (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 11:21 (six years ago) link
Um, exhibiting gravitas
― deez nuts roasting on an open fire (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 11:23 (six years ago) link
I thought you were meaning you do seminars and get taken seriously.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 11:24 (six years ago) link
Ha, now that you mention it I do that too.
― deez nuts roasting on an open fire (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 11:26 (six years ago) link
I got a pretty drastic haircut before Christmas, and I thought the dude was shaving Santa Claus as I was watching the hair fall down on to my little... barber's gown?
Anyway. Since that white hair isn't visible to anyone, it must hide under my regular hair - not getting light, hence its color.
― pplains, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:16 (six years ago) link
scrunching nose when smiling makes me IA
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 16:17 (six years ago) link
i remember when i was younger thinking gray hair is no big deal but now that i have it i am slightly horrified
i don't want to dye it though
― infinity (∞), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 16:41 (six years ago) link
Salt and pepper hair can be v v attractive imo.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 16:50 (six years ago) link
The worst part about my 40s was my eyesight going to shit and it seemed like it happened overnight.
― Alan Watts (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 16:52 (six years ago) link
Also my hairy palms, obv.
― Alan Watts (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 16:53 (six years ago) link
Dudes who were v v attractive with normal hair can be v v attractive with salt and pepper hair it's true
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 16:58 (six years ago) link
Even salt and papper pits?
Everyone gets much more attractive as they age
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 18:49 (six years ago) link
'Everyone gets much more attractive as they age' vs. Geo. Orwell's remark that 'at age forty everyone has the face they deserve'.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 19:18 (six years ago) link
Sheesh, I guess I must have four decades of hardcore assholism under my belt, then.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 19:30 (six years ago) link
You have an asshole face?
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:30 (six years ago) link
It probably depends on who you ask.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:38 (six years ago) link
My hair is still thick and still mostly dark, with some gray at the temples and speckled throughout, but my eyebrows and beard have gone more or less completely gray. :\
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:41 (six years ago) link
Some female comedian did a bit in one of her routines about her pubic hair going grey and how that was what first made her feel really old. That fact that that was even a thing that happens was pretty eye-opening for me.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:49 (six years ago) link
I think it might have been Jen Kirkman.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:55 (six years ago) link
YOu know I was giong to mention the salt and pepper pubes but I was afraid of offending ILE
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:58 (six years ago) link
i just noticed this past weekend that some of my aunt's eyelashes have turned grey and i felt sympathetic in an "oh we're getting old right?" kind of way, even though she is much older than i
― infinity (∞), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:58 (six years ago) link
the underside (?) of my hair is almost white in places, it’s kinda cooli *almost* have a cruella deville/j jonah jameson streak on my right temple on top is still dyed and kinda brownish
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:16 (six years ago) link
I don't look forward to going completely gray but I confess I am a big fan of the "skunk stripe" on women (cf. Bonnie Raitt, Stacy London, Rogue/X-Men, JoBeth Williams at the end of "Poltergeist," etc).
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:19 (six years ago) link
can't remember the year i started posting here (it wasn't this account), 2001 maybe, when i was a highly strung and combative 27 (?) year old dickhead. now my hair's fallen out so my head is basically a dick. in fact the only thing that shits me about ageing is having no hair (which makes me lucky tbh).
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:20 (six years ago) link
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Wednesday, January 3, 2018 4:19 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
My maternal grandmother had this. I never knew her but it looked awesome in pictures.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:22 (six years ago) link
^^ I've had my first real 'am I going bald?!' scare last week. It's still early days but that hairline is receding mighty fast all of a sudden.
(15 months away from being completely eligible to participate in this thread; I see this as an apprenticeship)
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:22 (six years ago) link
^^ I've had my first real 'am I going bald?!' scare last week.
my scare lasted a whole day, i found a hairdresser (i was abroad) and got them to shave it all the fuck off. never went back.
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:25 (six years ago) link
I'm thinning a bit at my crown and I've always had a high forehead but I don't think I'll go bald, based on my family. I have a load of greys on the right side above my ear, but I don't really mind that tbh
― Colonel Poo, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:29 (six years ago) link
Is it too challopsy to say I think grey hair is attractive (cf. Emmylou Harris, G. Clooney) and that I'm impatient for more of it?
― deez nuts roasting on an open fire (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:31 (six years ago) link
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, January 3, 2018 9:25 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
That's admirable. I'm not ready to throw in the towel tbh.
The scare was coming home having walked through rain and storm and suddenly seeing the hair on the fore of the top of my head is getting so thin it's like it's isolated from the rest of the hair on my head. If that makes sense. I want both parties to make up and rejoice again, to be one do. I also know wishing this is in vain.
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:33 (six years ago) link
xp not at all. Grey hair rules imo.
otm re grey hair
The scare was coming home having walked through rain and storm and suddenly seeing the hair on the fore of the top of my head is getting so thin it's like it's isolated from the rest of the hair on my head. If that makes sense.
pretty much the same for me, but in a photo i saw a tiny gap in my forehead. that was enough. fuck recalcitrant hair.
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:38 (six years ago) link
people keep telling me how sexy salt and pepper hair is... but i feel like they're just being nice. because i'm old now. also hi, i am now tall enough to ride this thread.
― Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:39 (six years ago) link
I have a load of greys on the right side above my ear
Same here. I'm not bothered about going grey but I wish it would come in a bit more evenly. My hair was receding at an alarming rate in my early thirties (tonnes of hair on the pillow every morning) but that's stopped at least for the moment. Again, I'm not bothered - there's a picture of my grandfather at my parent's wedding where he's rocking a swept back Jack Nicholson look.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:40 (six years ago) link
I admire your strength and courage, AA. I'm just not ready yet :-/
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:42 (six years ago) link
it wasn't strength and courage so much as not wanting to look like this guy or this guy
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:47 (six years ago) link
people keep telling me how sexy salt and pepper hair is... but i feel like they're just being nice. because i'm old now.
nah, it's gobsmackingly sexy
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:48 (six years ago) link
Lol, well I've got quite some time left before it turns as ugly as that.
Though, admittedly, in my darkest hour I did google "dick advocaat hair". /shudders xp
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:50 (six years ago) link
the worst thing is how everyone thinks it's fine to openly remark and take the piss out of you
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:53 (six years ago) link
(not *you* lbi specifically)
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:54 (six years ago) link
if i were missing a leg or had giant sores all over my face nobody would say anything, but a few hairs drop out and it's game on
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:55 (six years ago) link
I'd never say stuff like that, but will cop to having had those thoughts abt bald people. I should've known it'd bite me in the buttocks.
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 22:00 (six years ago) link
me too, if i'm honest
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 22:01 (six years ago) link
40s eh
Aye
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 22:07 (six years ago) link
I'm able to console myself wrt my baldness by remembering that the alternative (ie, literally every other hair replacement option) is ten times as gross and unsightly.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 23:29 (six years ago) link
That said, there is admittedly some appeal to the thought of procuring a hilariously-awful toupee.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 23:30 (six years ago) link
Perhaps coupled with a gaudy, oversized sports jacket and a bow tie?
Yes, for those unsure, I am an idiot.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 23:31 (six years ago) link
there’s also hats
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 23:34 (six years ago) link
which… can be wanky
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH GOING BALD.
I've got a buddy who went bald like, schzwoop, one year. And now he wears caps indoors and says things like "Ha! Like when I used to have hair!"
It's cool, man!
― pplains, Thursday, 4 January 2018 00:59 (six years ago) link
Baldness does seem to be one of the final frontiers of body-shaming - my boyfriend is mostly bald and it's amazing how people will just make jokes about his baldness to his face in social situations, even people he doesn't know. Not that it bothers him too much, he's thick-skinned, but people wouldn't do the same if he was obese or had a bad stutter or whatever
― Zelda Zonk, Thursday, 4 January 2018 01:18 (six years ago) link
Thread got too real
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 January 2018 01:21 (six years ago) link
i get to die with a full head of hair, everything else is up for grabs tho'
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 4 January 2018 02:22 (six years ago) link
i get to die with a full ear of hair
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 4 January 2018 02:38 (six years ago) link
In re hair, I grew up with dire warnings that my mom's father and brother had both gone completely bald in their 20s, and baldness comes through the mother's side, etc. As it turned out, I had plenty of hair well into my 30s, and since then it's been a long drawn-out matter of thinning on top and receding in front, but still more hair than not. Since I'd sort of made peace with the idea of going bald young, having thinning hair in my late 40s is nbd.
― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 4 January 2018 04:08 (six years ago) link
Yeah, I honestly have basically zero sensitivity about it at this point. When I had hair, it was dumb and unmanageable. No big loss.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 04:16 (six years ago) link
My hair's been receding slowly for a good decade, but I'm not close to having to shave it yet. Had a smattering of grey for the same amount of time. Now getting to the point where there are too many grey hairs in my beard to tweezer them out individually, which i did for years, less out of vanity than out of the physical sense of satisfaction that removing one gave me. Have tweezered out a handful of grey pubes, a grey chesthair, and, most pathetically, plenty of grey nasal hair. GREY NASAL HAIR wtf.
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 4 January 2018 07:27 (six years ago) link
(Orwell's quote is about being 50, btw; he died at 46 so just missed finding out.)
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 4 January 2018 07:46 (six years ago) link
(Looking at Steve Bannon makes you think there's something in it.)
a mate of mine is undergoing chemo atm for lymphoma and when he first started it he’d had a marvelous rockabilly quiff of hair which rapidly all fell out. he went out clubbing one night not long after and some old goth tart laughed, patted his head and made fun of the baldness. i wish i’d been there when he’d retorted it was due to cancer to see her stupid face.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 4 January 2018 07:57 (six years ago) link
i hated having hair, my orinal hair was thick and too curly and determined to do anything with.then in my late 20s i realised i was going to go thin on top.so, one day i walked into a barbers got a blade #1 cut and went home.was a sharp cold winters days and my head absolutely buzzed and felt tingly all the way home.it felt absolutely brilliant.i walked into our flat, and bh was not too happy, but realised there was no going back and so had to accept it.
― mark e, Thursday, 4 January 2018 09:40 (six years ago) link
There was recently an Orwell quote on that recipe thread where he described a random on a bus as "obscenely bald", while the ugly fucking lunger was spreading the pulmonary TB mycobacterium with every cough!
― calzino, Thursday, 4 January 2018 09:51 (six years ago) link
I was just having a few lols at a twitter thread on Adam Perkins, the discredited academic who wrote the vile garbage that inspired Toby Young's "Progressive Eugenics". The commentary soon goes from attacking his work to comments about him being an ugly, bald bastard and insinuations that he only became a eugenics stan because he couldn't get laid. probably true tbf!
― calzino, Thursday, 4 January 2018 10:23 (six years ago) link
https://youtu.be/Pb51aSiwUEA?t=34m33s
― In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:58 (six years ago) link
If I ever start to recede properly (49 and not yet, touch wood) I'm determined to rock the Steve Buscemi look for as long as I can:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/90/Steve_Buscemi_2009_portrait.jpg/1200px-Steve_Buscemi_2009_portrait.jpg
― めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:14 (six years ago) link
oops sorry that's a bit big
― めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:15 (six years ago) link
i had salt and pepper hair as a teenager, maybe some of you will know what a Mallen streak is but i totally had one at 14. love2grey tbh
― you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:17 (six years ago) link
Know what a Mallen streak is because this was p much my granny's favourite ever book:
https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1330925465l/1495952.jpg
― Akdov Telmig (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:36 (six years ago) link
i've had the same hairstyle since i was 15, and it's the buscemi. i'm majorly receding, and also my hair is thinning out in the back. (i'm not sensitive at all about the receding hairline, but for some reason i am about the fact that it's thinning out in the back.)
― bob lefse (rushomancy), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:36 (six years ago) link
My youngest brother (35) is sadly going as bald as me (as is my next younger brother, 37) but has opted for what I'd call 'the Brett Gelman' in lieu of shaving, which is a good look if you can pull it off. Which I don't think I can.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:38 (six years ago) link
I've got hair, kept it all in there even after 12 rounds of chemo ten years ago.
But I don't have any chest hair, and at 44, I'm starting to think I may never hit puberty.
My dad has the Tony-Soporano-in-a-tank-top look down pat. My grandfather had those tufts of hair that came up through his undershirt like a cat. I have no idea what my mother's father looked like without a shirt, but I'll blame him anyway.
It's never bothered me. One time in New Orleans, I took off my shirt in the hotel room and one of my pals, a little guy with a nice, natural sweater vest, pointed at me and went What the fuck? I had just never thought about it before, and it was the first time it had been pointed out like that.
My pal is a cool dude, don't get me wrong. He's also bald as fuck now, hahaha.
― pplains, Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:50 (six years ago) link
I have had a goatee since I was about 20, but couldn't grow a mustache to go with it until I was in my mid-30s. I never had much in the way of chest hair until about the same time, but now it's...not a full-on sweater-vest, but in '70s Burt Reynolds territory.
― grawlix (unperson), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:55 (six years ago) link
heh, I'm remembering my grandfather when he was in his late 60s. Maybe in another 20 years, one of these tiny little hairs will work its way up and out.
― pplains, Thursday, 4 January 2018 15:06 (six years ago) link
I've always had a fairly full chest of said hair. It, more than hair elsewhere, is what's going grey quickest. (Well likely my beard too but the world will never know, obviously.)
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 4 January 2018 15:09 (six years ago) link
more than hair elsewhere
Gosh. That must be a lot of hair.
― pplains, Thursday, 4 January 2018 15:20 (six years ago) link
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 4 January 2018 15:31 (six years ago) link
The main place I’ve gotten gray hair at all so far is my damn nostrils. Shock white, really. And thick, like fishing line :(
I just yank em
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Thursday, 4 January 2018 15:41 (six years ago) link
My beard's got a gray streak, but none in my head hair. My dad, in his late 70s, still isn't gray, so I may miss that one. I've been balding since I was 19 though, though oddly it hasn't really progressed thaaaat much since then.
― droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 4 January 2018 16:05 (six years ago) link
beard is graying at the corners of my chin, hair has some gray in the temples but remains ample as ever, fair bit of gray chest hair
none of that is bothersome but i feel like the hair growing out of my damn ears has gone into overdrive
― mookieproof, Thursday, 4 January 2018 16:14 (six years ago) link
wookieproof
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 January 2018 16:38 (six years ago) link
ha!
Apologies to any women present about the long "guy hair" digression; be thankful it's not All Prostates All the Time
― deez nuts roasting on an open fire (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 4 January 2018 16:59 (six years ago) link
I'm given to understand that women have their own set of age-related follicular issues, and I believe there's at least some overlap with the ones we get to enjoy. They're certainly welcome to join in the commiseration-fest!
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:04 (six years ago) link
ya another thing to note is i'm getting hairier and hairier as i get older
nose hair, ear hair, bushier eyebrows (i have to trim my eyebrows now which is a thing i only associated with my grandfathers), etc
― infinity (∞), Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:18 (six years ago) link
just wait...
― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:19 (six years ago) link
some slightly tmi info coming but:
i do trim my nose hairs too
i shaved my ear hair but i'm afraid that makes it worse
and hell while i'm at it: i wear flip flops to work sometimes and a lady expressed her disgust at how hairy my feet were
made me feel conscious so now i check out other guys' feet which is a weird thing to do and i have noticed shit maybe my feet are abnormally hairy
― infinity (∞), Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:21 (six years ago) link
My nose and ears are OK but my eyebrows started growing in my mid-30s, just a few hairs on each which almost makes it worse if I leave them, which I don't.
― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:33 (six years ago) link
Seriously, wtf is with the eyebrow thing. Like, those hairs managed for decades to grow to an acceptable length and stop. Suddenly, a handful of them start having a midlife crisis and gettin' all rebellious on me. It's not a good look, fellas.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:39 (six years ago) link
Frankly, I don't mind the thought of having eyebrows that extend two inches from my face once I'm like 75 but can we maybe wait until I'm actually 75?
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:41 (six years ago) link
your fault for drinking the juice of sapho
― mookieproof, Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:46 (six years ago) link
All this talk of balding makes this thread deeply 'forty-something', although it's confined to forty-something men.
― A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 4 January 2018 17:57 (six years ago) link
No it is not!
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:06 (six years ago) link
I don’t have much gray, but I do have one gray hair in my right eyebrow that gets the plucking treatment.My mom is bummed by thinning hair in her 70s. Chemo probably didn’t help.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:08 (six years ago) link
I meant the eager enthusiasm for discussing the subject of baldness was confined to men.
― A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:10 (six years ago) link
Yeah I don’t think I realized how sensitive guys were about the balding thing!
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:23 (six years ago) link
Having a hairline that resembles a public toilet seat is a thing that requires some adjustment.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:28 (six years ago) link
FWIW my best friend has always had a thing for older bad guys (with bad teeth to boot) so for everyone worried about losing their hair just shave that shit. It’s just hair and there are people out there who are totally into it!
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:29 (six years ago) link
Bald not bad thought tbh in her base both work.
xpost lol aww ok fair point
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:31 (six years ago) link
I have so much hair that even if it does start thinning it would still be a lot.
I have a few weird chin and neck hairs but I got those in my 30s.
― tokyo rosemary, Thursday, 4 January 2018 23:22 (six years ago) link
i had vitamin d deficiency and for a while i seemed to be losing my hair at an alarming rate, it was v unsettling also thanks to genes inherited from my good old Dad I have hella, mega nose hair, full-on gross spider legs level. they require constant trimming. they havent gone gray yet but i am sure that’ll be the only hair left when i’m like 90
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 4 January 2018 23:53 (six years ago) link
making the assumption that bad = bald .. i can confirm that this is true.shave and embrace the new world.
― mark e, Friday, 5 January 2018 00:04 (six years ago) link
This new world for me = small children throw apples at me, I'm effectively Cezanne without the artistic talent!
― calzino, Friday, 5 January 2018 00:09 (six years ago) link
“I know a few things from his last years when he was old and shabby and children followed him every day on his way to his studio, throwing stones at him as if at a stray dog. But inside, way inside, he was marvelously beautiful.”
― calzino, Friday, 5 January 2018 00:10 (six years ago) link
Oh, I just thought of a fun thing I'm experiencing lately! So, pretty much totes bald on top, to the extent that I don't really have to do any maintenance aside from pruning the random hair that forgets nothing grows there anymore. Well, since I've also been going grey, those strays tend to now be stark white and go pretty much unnoticed until the lighting is just right and reveals a snowy two-inch strand jutting straight out of my otherwise bald pate like a radio antenna desperately seeking the long-lost signal of youthful dignity.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Friday, 5 January 2018 00:11 (six years ago) link
hee hee
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 5 January 2018 00:25 (six years ago) link
Xposts - lol yes bad = bald there
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 5 January 2018 03:20 (six years ago) link
losing my hair happened in my twenties so I had to get over it quickly. Once I went through denial/depression/anger/rogaine/acceptance, I was fine. I shaved it to a Statham and never looked back.
Definitely went on dates with people who didn't like the bald thing, but i didn't ever get down about it, weirdly. And eventually I met someone who *really* likes the bald thing.
Shaving your head down is *almost* like hiding it but it's also saying fuck it, this is who I am.
― omar little, Friday, 5 January 2018 04:35 (six years ago) link
shaved heads look fine and i never think of them as a sign of incipient baldness, i view them as a sound aesthetic choice that’s been made.
― estela, Friday, 5 January 2018 04:53 (six years ago) link
This ^^ ! I think that even if it is cause you’re balding, this is helpful to remember.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 5 January 2018 05:07 (six years ago) link
i agree
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 5 January 2018 05:15 (six years ago) link
mr veg had long hair until his hairline receded too far back - then he cut it all off because he said he didn’t want to look like David Crosby lol <3
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 5 January 2018 05:18 (six years ago) link
I honestly think bald on top with very long hair, inclusive of ponytails and braids, is an extremely strong look and in no way worthy of shame
― The Bridge of Ban Louis J (silby), Friday, 5 January 2018 05:59 (six years ago) link
yeah idk, mr veg had a real thing about that look.
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 5 January 2018 06:07 (six years ago) link
silby: you mean a Mick Fleetwood?
― failsun ra (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 5 January 2018 12:52 (six years ago) link
Sorry, the "baldytail" is the worst haircut in human history. Wanna be bald and still have long(ish) hair? Put a hat on and never take it off, like Brian Johnson from AC/DC or Klaus Meine from Scorpions.
― grawlix (unperson), Friday, 5 January 2018 13:20 (six years ago) link
Yeah, agreed. That is literally NEVER a good look.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 5 January 2018 14:15 (six years ago) link
Not even with a brightly coloured waistcoat?
― not raving but droning (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 January 2018 14:26 (six years ago) link
A friend of mine used to call that hairdo The Faded Glory.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Friday, 5 January 2018 14:29 (six years ago) link
Add an inexplicable little leather pouch on the belt to the waistcoat and yes it really could work
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Friday, 5 January 2018 14:31 (six years ago) link
The highest concentration of baldytails I have ever seen in one space at one time (this will surprise absolutely no one) was a King Crimson concert last summer.
― grawlix (unperson), Friday, 5 January 2018 14:33 (six years ago) link
and that was just on stage
― not raving but droning (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 January 2018 14:36 (six years ago) link
I loved that Futurama gave Wernstrom, its egomaniacal, petulant scientist character, a baldytail.
https://morbotron.com/img/S07E08/273189.jpg
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Friday, 5 January 2018 14:40 (six years ago) link
Also popular at Ren Faire
― failsun ra (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 5 January 2018 15:12 (six years ago) link
the "bill bailey" is alright if you can own it.
― omar little, Friday, 5 January 2018 15:27 (six years ago) link
nope
Bill gets a pass because he's Bill but even he admits he's part man part troll and I think the hair is a lot of that.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 5 January 2018 16:29 (six years ago) link
if you give me enough time i can come up with other examples of successful bill baileys but they'd have to be self effacing comedians who look exactly like bill bailey
― omar little, Friday, 5 January 2018 16:40 (six years ago) link
lol :)
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 5 January 2018 16:41 (six years ago) link
omg i mistook bill bailey (who i had to google, no idea who that guy is) for beetle bailey on account of the hat and implied attitude? idk
my 40s have been great so far but sometimes i find myself being completely out of the loop wrt a conversation in which people use references to imply something and i am not aware of what that thing is or what it means
oh well! i'm alright w my 40s so far otherwise.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c0/Recruta_zero_03.png
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 5 January 2018 16:47 (six years ago) link
Oh man, yeah, these kids today with their references. I've been getting some first-hand experience with the 'clueless adult' archetype as I've slowly relinquished all effort wrt keeping up with what's 'hip' and 'dope' and 'fresh'.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Friday, 5 January 2018 16:54 (six years ago) link
the thing is that i don't care that i don't know -- i can look it up, whatever, or just ignore it. it's just a sign to me that i am on the outside looking in. whatever! i am still a decent person and know plenty of interesting things. i am not very into complaining about being in my 40s tbh.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 5 January 2018 16:58 (six years ago) link
i've never felt particularly interested in keeping up with what's cool which might make me a "cob nobbler" or a "lamestain" but i guess rather than keeping up i prefer to just go through life making discoveries randomly.
with music i actually use the ILM year end poll to discover what's good or rather what i like from the previous year. though i think i'm generally pretty good about keeping up with certain types of new music.
― omar little, Friday, 5 January 2018 17:11 (six years ago) link
So sad right now that only someone in their 40s would pick up on your grunge insults.
I'm generally at least five years behind the curve on most 'hip' pop culture. I'm really not worried about it at all. Can't wait to discover fidget spinners sometime in 2021, though.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:20 (six years ago) link
haaa i am in my 40s and i still didn't get ittbh this is a lifelong issue for me that has only gotten more pronounced as i age, it's ok
i too prefer to skip my way through life enjoying what i enjoy & discovering things at my own pace
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:25 (six years ago) link
La Lechera otm. Enjoy what you enjoy; I believe that it's wrongheaded to regard "keeping up with ___" as a moral imperative rather than a taste / preference / lifestyle choice.
― failsun ra (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:29 (six years ago) link
I used to wonder "How can my grandmother not know who Bruce Springsteen is?"
And now I wonder, "How in the world can my kids not know who Bruce Springsteen is?"
― pplains, Friday, 5 January 2018 17:35 (six years ago) link
there's always a time to learn about something
my dad has always done this really REALLY annoying thing where I will show an understanding of, say, Busby Berkeley movies and he's like flabberghasted, and asks "how do you know about Busby Berkeley movies???" like I could only possibly know about things that have happened while I was alive, like that is even logical. he's done it since i was a teenager, it's so annoying! he still does it!
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:41 (six years ago) link
There are times when a casual onlooker might assume that I was unaware that mass media had continued to be produced after I was born.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:45 (six years ago) link
Generally speaking, most people are best at appreciating and evaluating cultural products produced when they were aged 15-20.
Coincidentally, that's exactly when culture feels like it is of life-or-death importance; that's when your favorite band is likeliest to define your social group and your wardrobe and your self-image.
Of course there are always also people who are WAY into Buster Keaton or Duke Ellington or Emily Dickinson or w/ev from a young age; my hat is off to those people as well.
― failsun ra (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:52 (six years ago) link
i'm pretty inspired by my mom, who is really interested in keeping up with new art and new fashion. she's 70 years old and lives out in the sticks far NW of Chicago. She follows fashion trends and likes to make her own clothes, and she listens to a lot of Sonic Youth. it's probably no wonder my folks got divorced (though they're still friends), my dad's the type of fellow who will visit and I'll fish for something he'd like to do and it's always like "oh you know me, i'm ok with settling in at Coffee Bean for awhile to read a book, maybe we can go find a sandwich somewhere..."
it's always "find a sandwich"!
but it's ok, i respect both their interest levels.
― omar little, Friday, 5 January 2018 17:54 (six years ago) link
Your parents sound very cool
― calstars, Friday, 5 January 2018 17:55 (six years ago) link
OL I love your mom!
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:04 (six years ago) link
my dad has always done this really REALLY annoying thing where I will show an understanding of, say, Busby Berkeley movies and he's like flabberghasted, and asks "how do you know about Busby Berkeley movies???"
Sometimes, I'll make some B.J. Hunnicutt reference at work, and someone will say, "HAHA The millennials don't know what you're talking about!"
And hell, I know all about the Honeymooners and Lucy & Ethel at the chocolate factory. I'll give millennials the benefit of the doubt about a show that went off the air the decade they were born.
― pplains, Friday, 5 January 2018 18:06 (six years ago) link
OK yes but I've had to explain that Paul Newman wasn't just some salad dressing guy to more than one person in their 20s in the last few years so it does happen.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:07 (six years ago) link
i also love my mom!
partially relating to being in our forties: she was having financial difficulty and there's no way in hell we're going to be buying a house in L.A. since everything here that's convenient is either 700K plus or a fixer or usually both (leading to feelings of financial inadequacy as people around us buy homes for 1.4 million and the like), so we bought her house for her so she could stay there and continue to live her life. so now we actually own a house, which feels very adult. it's just not *our* house.
― omar little, Friday, 5 January 2018 18:10 (six years ago) link
In my 30s I'd say stuff like "I prefer darker roasted coffee" but now I say "At my age, I prefer darker roasted coffee." This is a good trick for seeming wise.
― mick signals, Friday, 5 January 2018 18:18 (six years ago) link
now I wonder, "How in the world can my kids not know who Bruce Springsteen is?"
Listening to Bruce always struck me as highly optional. But at least I know who he is. By the same token, as a kid I knew, for example, who Jimmy Durante was, even though his career had basically ended before I was born.
― A is for (Aimless), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:23 (six years ago) link
your mom sounds super cool omar
Generally speaking, most people are best at appreciating and evaluating cultural products produced when they were aged 15-20.maybe. but i feel confident saying that generally speaking, i am not most people :)
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:28 (six years ago) link
your dad has got it together
― j., Friday, 5 January 2018 18:38 (six years ago) link
When I was 15 I got super-offended when my aunt said I couldn't possibly understand the lyrics to "Purple Rain." Now I hear some contemporary music and am like "WTF are they singing?" :(
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:46 (six years ago) link
pretty much all specific bits of culture are highly optional.
I grew up with a sense that there was Essential Culture, but lost it quickly. When I got married, my parents were a little surprised that my wife hadn't been made to sit through all of "our" canonical movies. Nowadays we occasionally try to tell the children about Elvis Costello or the Go-Gos or Animaniacs. If they yawn and roll their eyes, we just drop it. Life's too short. They'll find what they need to find.
― failsun ra (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 5 January 2018 19:52 (six years ago) link
the only answer if you fear top baldness is to go - FULL mullet - so top is hairless, sides are partying. Like Ben Stahl
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Friday, 5 January 2018 20:37 (six years ago) link
or john weathers from gentle giant
― infinity (∞), Friday, 5 January 2018 20:39 (six years ago) link
Essential reference for "top is hairless, sides are partying": Larry Feinhttps://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/58/Larry_Fine_in_a_promotional_image_from_1962.png/220px-Larry_Fine_in_a_promotional_image_from_1962.png
― A is for (Aimless), Friday, 5 January 2018 20:46 (six years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFZTmglPKag
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Saturday, 6 January 2018 01:11 (six years ago) link
We are apparently newly and differently fecund at this age.
Our forties might be "the decline of fecundity and the beginning of something else: a fecundity of the imagination, an era when we become not creative, but creation." My latest, for @onbeing. https://t.co/qLkUkUxNwU— Kaya Oakes (@kayaoakes) January 5, 2018
― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 6 January 2018 04:19 (six years ago) link
whole lotta things "might be" true
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 6 January 2018 04:23 (six years ago) link
so . . . wanna see my fecundity?
― mookieproof, Saturday, 6 January 2018 04:26 (six years ago) link
― The Bridge of Ban Louis J (silby), Saturday, 6 January 2018 06:42 (six years ago) link
I couldn't get past the fecund line tbh. You don't need to be in your 40's to eschew that type of Richard and Judy show level bullshit psychobabble, and know confidently know that your not fucking missing out on anything of use.
― calzino, Saturday, 6 January 2018 11:12 (six years ago) link
sorry i blew all my fecundity 20 years back
― not raving but droning (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 January 2018 11:18 (six years ago) link
fecund sounds too fecal to me and I dont like the word :<
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Saturday, 6 January 2018 12:28 (six years ago) link
In re keeping up with stuff, I think it’s a sort of misleading concept. When you’re younger it’s easier to be aware of some strains of pop culture because your friends and social circles are likewise tuned in and you’re more likely to just kind of absorb things by osmosis. otoh you’re likely to be aware of a relatively narrow band of stuff just because it takes a while to discover everything that’s out there in the world. In my 40s I’m definitely less cognizant of youth culture than when I was in my teens or 20s, but I’m more aware of at least some stuff across a much broader range.
― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Saturday, 6 January 2018 13:15 (six years ago) link
Honestly, On Being usually makes me want to throw eggs at the radio. I can't stand that show.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Saturday, 6 January 2018 16:17 (six years ago) link
My grandpa tried name-dropping him in a dinner table conversation once, but unfortunately he called him Bruce Springlestein by mistake
― faust apes (NickB), Saturday, 6 January 2018 16:34 (six years ago) link
Shaving your head down is *almost* like hiding it but it's also saying fuck it, this is who I am.this is massively massively otm. when i decided to shave it all off it was a single-fingered “fuck you” to my deviant cocking hairline. in general, balding people who clean-shave (imo) are people who take full control of unwanted bullshit.
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 11:32 (six years ago) link
Shaving my head worked well when I was living in a tropical country, but in the UK it just exasperates the "it's cold and there are no hats that I can now acceptably wear" problem.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 12:03 (six years ago) link
I really don't get why "hiding" that you are bald by shaving is a problem for some people. Not on this thread, but I have actually seen people say that it's somehow cheating or deception.
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 16 January 2018 12:17 (six years ago) link
The wonderbra of haircuts
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 12:21 (six years ago) link
XP Because people are massively, inexplicably keen to judge other people for everything they are and everything they do?
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 12:24 (six years ago) link
and who they do it for..
― Mark G, Tuesday, 16 January 2018 12:26 (six years ago) link
Taking back control - the bald by choice movement.
― Luna Schlosser, Tuesday, 16 January 2018 13:17 (six years ago) link
TBF, it's not really 'hiding' anyway, inasmuch as the perimeter of the stubble still clearly telegraphs your hairline.
I'd actually been clipping my hair down to nothing for several years before I started losing it, which made the adjustment to the haircut I'd have for the rest of my life relatively smooth.
― the smartest persin in the room (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 13:32 (six years ago) link
No pun intended!
― Luna Schlosser
as opposed to the InBald movement, come join our popular reddit
― Arnold Schoenberg Steals (rushomancy), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 14:45 (six years ago) link
― faust apes (NickB)
quick, somebody come up with a humorous mispronunciation of "brockhampton"
― Arnold Schoenberg Steals (rushomancy), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 14:47 (six years ago) link
seriously this is the real '40s shit, i don't mind groaning every time i move (my wife insists it's performative, which it isn't, but there's no actual pain attached), but knowing that my brain function is degenerating is tough. i know more now than i did ten years ago and i'm learning more stuff all the time, but frequently i can't remember words, basic simple words like "shoe", and my typing has gotten a lot worse grammatically. i make stupid errors that i used to make fun of people for, like two/too/to and typing "grammer" instead of "grammar" and i have no idea why. and then i start leaving out connecting words so that when i write stuff it winds up not making sense (on top of the frequent logical incoherence, which isn't a new thing for me, i've always had that).
i decided long ago that alzheimer's is the one acceptable reason for me to kill myself, so i worry a lot about this stuff.
― Arnold Schoenberg Steals (rushomancy), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:10 (six years ago) link
They say the memory is the first thing to go. I forget what the second thing is.
― Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:18 (six years ago) link
It's the memory.
― hell is auteur people (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:20 (six years ago) link
Thanks. Dadjoking aside, I need words and language to eat (as I have no other job skills). Losing my grip on them would be a serious problem. It may be silly to believe in this, but I do hope that things like word games, crosswords, and Scrabble will help keep my wits about me.
― Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:26 (six years ago) link
xp Bruckprampton
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:46 (six years ago) link
Brocklepimpton
― hell is auteur people (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:47 (six years ago) link
Throckmorton
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:50 (six years ago) link
Boringstreetrapton
― hell is auteur people (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:51 (six years ago) link
i don't mind groaning every time i move (my wife insists it's performative, which it isn't, but there's no actual pain attached)
i was just thinking to myself about this this morning! It's much more prevalent than it was even a year ago.there may be a performative element but i do it when I'm by myself too so...
New maddening pain in left hip this week, firs-ever complaint related to that area for me (though unlucky in right arm, i've been lucky re: back neck and hips before now).
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 15:55 (six years ago) link
OK no more bitching about hair loss or aches and pains for now damn guys.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 17:17 (six years ago) link
i feel great :D :D :D
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 17:38 (six years ago) link
that's more like it!
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 17:41 (six years ago) link
I'll say that I don't feel any worse than I did in my thirties. But I'm only like three months into this thing so let's just wait and see what happens.
― the smartest persin in the room (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 17:43 (six years ago) link
i feel pretty good imo
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 17:51 (six years ago) link
I feel pretty good, considering
― Mark G, Tuesday, 16 January 2018 18:18 (six years ago) link
http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/73250/83371800.jpg
― calzino, Tuesday, 16 January 2018 18:28 (six years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuG2uAWVlP4this makes me irrationally angry but that is dead proof i am old i guess
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 22:05 (six years ago) link
from The Times today:
Analysis: Prince is taking back controlWho would have predicted that a member of the royal family would take grooming tips from Jason Statham, Ross Kemp and the UK’s community of nightclub doormen? Yet the Duke of Cambridge has, without warning, joined their chilly-scalped gang (writes Hattie Crisell).It probably feels like a seismic change to Prince William, but visually it’s not dramatic, truth be told: in recent years, the close and ever-diminishing style he sported was more of a nod to the idea of hair, a dream of a memory of hair, rather than anything substantial enough to be considered hair itself. Now Prince William has taken back control, with a shaven head that makes baldness into a decisive choice, not an ongoing source of hilarity for his wife and brother.And thank heavens he has. He looks better, more modern and younger with it; it’s a style fit for the kind of future king who gives warm interviews to Ant and Dec, and speaks out on matters that previous generations of monarchy might have avoided, such as mental health. The fact is, the majority of men with thinning hair would be better off biting the bullet so bravely.
Who would have predicted that a member of the royal family would take grooming tips from Jason Statham, Ross Kemp and the UK’s community of nightclub doormen? Yet the Duke of Cambridge has, without warning, joined their chilly-scalped gang (writes Hattie Crisell).
It probably feels like a seismic change to Prince William, but visually it’s not dramatic, truth be told: in recent years, the close and ever-diminishing style he sported was more of a nod to the idea of hair, a dream of a memory of hair, rather than anything substantial enough to be considered hair itself. Now Prince William has taken back control, with a shaven head that makes baldness into a decisive choice, not an ongoing source of hilarity for his wife and brother.
And thank heavens he has. He looks better, more modern and younger with it; it’s a style fit for the kind of future king who gives warm interviews to Ant and Dec, and speaks out on matters that previous generations of monarchy might have avoided, such as mental health. The fact is, the majority of men with thinning hair would be better off biting the bullet so bravely.
― Luna Schlosser, Thursday, 18 January 2018 20:36 (six years ago) link
it’s a style fit for the kind of future king who gives warm interviews to Ant and Dec
rummages in the kitchen for guillotine wax
― hell is auteur people (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 18 January 2018 20:37 (six years ago) link
the performative groaning made me laugh. getting up and going holy mother of god or “not again”, or just leaning on the kitchen counter staring at the toaster for what five minutes in the evening when i was about to do something else but got distracted by fatigue.
― Fizzles, Thursday, 18 January 2018 20:38 (six years ago) link
I was a little 'wtf @ this performative groaning thing' and then I climbed onto the bathroom counter to clean the mirror and groaned pretty performatively and realized that yes this is probably a thing I've done for a while without even realizing (old).
― the smartest persin in the room (Old Lunch), Thursday, 18 January 2018 20:42 (six years ago) link
One time I was carrying lots of groceries up the stairs (all on my one good arm, natch) to our 5th floor apt and the little girls who live across the hall literally laughed at my exertions I like that memory
― Winter. Dickens. Yes. (Jon not Jon), Friday, 19 January 2018 00:39 (six years ago) link
I feel pretty good too. My only exercise though is walking about 7000 steps per day plus climbing 11 flights of stairs a couple times a week. I have a salad as part of every lunch and try not to drink during the week.
― calstars, Friday, 19 January 2018 00:50 (six years ago) link
Never mind, in Hexadecimal I'm only 39
― Mark G, Friday, 19 January 2018 12:22 (six years ago) link
i used to think the ageing process was slow, but all the elastin in my skin seems to have fucked off overnight
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 19 January 2018 12:42 (six years ago) link
Slough off to the shed thread I guess
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 19 January 2018 23:55 (six years ago) link
Was talking with friend about how impossibly old the Traveling Wilburys seemed when they released their music in 1988. I've listed their ages at the time. For some perspective, three of them are no longer alive. Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. pic.twitter.com/eoPTmgwz1K— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) January 24, 2018
― constitutional crises they fly at u face (will), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 19:59 (six years ago) link
jesusthat's depressing
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:00 (six years ago) link
holy fuck at george harrison being 45 with the wilburys, that doesn't seem possible
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:03 (six years ago) link
Huuuuuuuuh.
― Senior Soft-Serve Tech at the Froyo Arroyo (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:07 (six years ago) link
I find myself doing that all the time. I see someone in an old movie or TV show who seems like a capital-A Adult, an elder if you will, and then discover, yeah, I'm older now than they were there. Sheesh.
― Senior Soft-Serve Tech at the Froyo Arroyo (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:09 (six years ago) link
i try not to think about it but it was super cool of this person to call it to our attention
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:10 (six years ago) link
Dylan in particular there does that for me. In the '80s when I was in high school and college, he seemed so ridiculously OLD. He'd been through like five different careers. But for nearly the whole decade he was younger than I am now. (There's a "My Back Pages" joke there somewhere.)
― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:14 (six years ago) link
Though of course with my couple of career changes and divorces and a kid in middle school, I know I am myself ridiculously old.
― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:16 (six years ago) link
As it happens, I was born exactly 30 years after Bob Dylan, so I have an ever-present reference point here.
I'm right between Harrison and Dylan in that picture.
― bannonality of evil (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:28 (six years ago) link
Jeff Lynne still looks exactly the same
― omar little, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:31 (six years ago) link
i guess i didn't realize Orbison was only 52 when he died
― constitutional crises they fly at u face (will), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 20:41 (six years ago) link
So, going by 2017 numbers:
<pre>DYLAN : 47 : DMX</pre><pre>LYNNE : 41 : RICK ROSS</pre><pre>PETTY : 37 : GUCCI MANE</pre><pre>ORBISON : 52 : DR. DRE</pre><pre>HARRISON : 45 : BUSTA RHYMES</pre>
― pplains, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 21:08 (six years ago) link
"Old Man Tries CSS on HTML Machine, Film at Eleven."
DYLAN : 47 : DMX
LYNNE : 41 : RICK ROSS
PETTY : 37 : GUCCI MANE
ORBISON : 52 : DR. DRE
HARRISON : 45 : BUSTA RHYMES
― pplains, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 21:10 (six years ago) link
in other oh fuck we're dying fast news, twitter informs me that "Girl You Know It's True" is thirty years old.
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 21:18 (six years ago) link
:(
― ♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 21:22 (six years ago) link
I just heard "handle with care" in the grocery store the other day for the first time in ages and immediately though how three of them are dead now. I had no idea that Tom Petty was only 37 then, they all seemed so ancient.
I think about this a lot in context a lot of those 80s network tv dramas from the 80s that I knew of but never really watched when I was a kid. Magnum PI and Matt Houston were both my current age (43) or younger when those shows were on but they looked SO OLD and I refuse to believe that they aren't like 50 years old in pictures from that era:
http://dtlon6z3v1kfl.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/19155710/Aloha-Shirts-Tom-Selleck-Magnum-portrait1.jpg
http://www.davidhedison.net/hedison/galleries/gueststar/Matt_Houston/Matt01.jpg
― joygoat, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 21:25 (six years ago) link
omg i totally forgot about matt houston
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 21:35 (six years ago) link
I had no idea that Tom Petty was only 37 then
Petty didn't seem that old to me at the time. i was really only familiar with his MTV era songs when the Wiburys hit and i guess he didn't really start charting until his late 20s. wasn't until he died that i realized he was the same age as my mom. he certainly seemed a lot more of my gen than hers.
the rest though def seemed like grandpas.
― constitutional crises they fly at u face (will), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 21:35 (six years ago) link
I had no idea that Tom Petty was only 37 then, they all seemed so ancient.and yet bowie was older and didn’t. perhaps the wilburys were just strange.
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 23:21 (six years ago) link
Petty def the youngest one and always the weakest link in the Wilburys but sorry, I’ll duck off and take it to some TW thread But yeah I’ve lapped the fools and the bartenders at the bars by a factor of at least one and it’s amusing as hell
― calstars, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 23:33 (six years ago) link
I realised recently that had I had kids as soon as feasible (lets say at 21), I could now easily be a grandma if my daughter did too. Ack.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 25 January 2018 03:39 (six years ago) link
yeah i know someone younger than us who’s solidly a grandfather, meanwhile we almost owned a cat once
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 25 January 2018 03:41 (six years ago) link
I was looking up people from my grade school, and a girl who was in my class IS a grandma.
Maybe I should share that the next time someone tells I'm young and have plenty of time to have kids.
― tokyo rosemary, Thursday, 25 January 2018 05:27 (six years ago) link
This has come up already OTT but my grandma was 37 when I was born.
― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 25 January 2018 07:03 (six years ago) link
how can you tell whether you have lower back pain in the morning because you old, or it's just time to replace your "2nd cheapest from Sears" mattress you bought 8 years ago?
― sarahell, Thursday, 25 January 2018 07:06 (six years ago) link
I broke out into a little sprint yesterday but had to stop almost immediately because of a incapacitating twinge in my left knee.
― Fizzles, Thursday, 25 January 2018 08:54 (six years ago) link
sarahell, does the pain manifest itself while in said bed, or shortly after getting up?
I think that if a mattress is the problem you'll be aware of it throughout the night, not just in the morning. Back pain specifically in the morning is probably more about your body complaining about what you're asking it to do (namely, get up and deal with shit). Back pain also very famously associated with stress.
I get a twinge of morning back pain sometimes; it arrives about 7 AM while I am feeding people breakfast and radiates downward into my thighs. Sitting on a heating pad for a while eases it tremendously. A heating pad is a great thing to have around anyway.
Of the four distinct flavors of pain I get, it is probably the most benign because it's treatable. (The others are gouty arthritis, Lyme arthritis, and a nonspecific wandering arthritis.) I don't do a lot of performative groaning (at least I don't think I do), but I do do a lot of stoic wincing.
― bannonality of evil (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 25 January 2018 13:36 (six years ago) link
another holy shit i'm dying moment: Snow's "Informer" is celebrating its 25th anniversary this month.
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 25 January 2018 15:42 (six years ago) link
A choccy gum gum now?
― i,CloudiOS (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 January 2018 15:44 (six years ago) link
xxp - it's less of a pain, and more of a dull ache that goes away after I've had coffee. It was pretty minor this morning -- I moved more towards the center of the mattress last night when sleeping, so the mattress theory seems more likely atm
― sarahell, Thursday, 25 January 2018 19:09 (six years ago) link
Reginald Perrin is a grandfather at 46, perfectly normal.
― mick signals, Thursday, 25 January 2018 19:19 (six years ago) link
I'm getting that loback pain too..
― Mark G, Thursday, 25 January 2018 19:37 (six years ago) link
lower back pain : do some 'planking'
i try and do about 60-90 seconds a day to keep my core muscles in action.
since i started, it has cleared up my reoccuring lower back spasms/muscle sprains.
― mark e, Thursday, 25 January 2018 19:40 (six years ago) link
Do I have to plank in a public place and post a photo on social media in order to derive lower back pain benefits, y/n
― Senior Soft-Serve Tech at the Froyo Arroyo (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 January 2018 19:43 (six years ago) link
Hmm, worth a go
― Mark G, Thursday, 25 January 2018 19:46 (six years ago) link
Next question, how I get go elsewhere of warts on finger 🖕
― Mark G, Thursday, 25 January 2018 19:47 (six years ago) link
In the Signals household, "planking" is childhood patois for a meal of pancakes.
― mick signals, Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:02 (six years ago) link
Is "planking" the thing where you get in push-up position but don't actually do any push-ups?
― sarahell, Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:12 (six years ago) link
yesit's very effective for building strength and you can do it anywhere!http://www.yogawiz.com/images/yoga-poses/dolphin-plank-pose.jpg
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:13 (six years ago) link
Why not just do push-ups?
I think I "planked" once at a party. Someone was explaining it to me, and I did it, but I was also very drunk. From that experience, I believe that it is something you should not do while drunk.
― sarahell, Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:21 (six years ago) link
pushups put the brunt of the work on you pecs and tris, planks (done correctly) are about core strength
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:21 (six years ago) link
thanks! I still don't know the difference between yoga and pilates, so clearly I am not up on my 20th century fitness activities.
― sarahell, Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:28 (six years ago) link
^ er 21st century.
yoga is crazy ancient!
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:29 (six years ago) link
Seriously! It's been around since at least the mid-'90s!
― Senior Soft-Serve Tech at the Froyo Arroyo (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:30 (six years ago) link
planks are peacefulpushups, less so
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:30 (six years ago) link
haha, i sorta found it the opposite, because with push-ups you at least were "doing something" as opposed to holding your body in one position for more time than is natural, which is something I don't have the patience for.
― sarahell, Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:56 (six years ago) link
i like to listen to a song i like with a long intro and then trying to plank for as long as possible (i've only made it maybe 3 min max) keeps me from overfocusing on how bored i ampreferably something slow, super loud, heavy enough to be distracting
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 25 January 2018 20:59 (six years ago) link
OK, "Fascination Street" it is then.
― Mark G, Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:01 (six years ago) link
i like to listen to a song i like with a long intro and then trying to plank for as long as possible (i've only made it maybe 3 min max)
humblebrag.
(i rarely can go beyond 90 secs these days)
― mark e, Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:03 (six years ago) link
for a while before my 40s i was running, and it turns out that it's just too hard on me (and i don't really like it that much apart from listening to music while i do it), so i had to switch up exercise routines to something more placid/indoorsi don't really pay much attention to the time -- once i estimated i was planking for 4 min and it was like 2.5, lol. i briefly tried to increase my time (hence my record) but stopped caring and went back to just planking for as long as possible...and then a little more. eventually the time increases but i try not to pay attention to that.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:13 (six years ago) link
i do the same.put on something loud, and try and stay distracted.no outdoors crap/gear required, and so far has deterred my back issues.that and my exercise bike (which i have just rediscovered after years of neglect), will have to suffice cos i refuse to leave the house to do any of this shit.
― mark e, Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:17 (six years ago) link
Holy shit I just tried planking and boy is it hard.
planks (done correctly) are about core strength
Certainly feels like it.I work in an office where half the people are gym gym gym and the other half don't take any exercise whatsoever. I'd like to be the middle ground.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:17 (six years ago) link
Although having said that I do walk 3 miles a day.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:18 (six years ago) link
hence my reaction re the 3 min max.looks and sounds easy, but ..that said, a few days/weeks in and you can feel the difference in your lower back (my initial reason)
― mark e, Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:21 (six years ago) link
XP not even going for the cheap laughs when I tell you I had to read that twice
― i,CloudiOS (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:53 (six years ago) link
In my region, planking is method of cooking fish.
― bannonality of evil (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 25 January 2018 21:57 (six years ago) link
after you plank how much more are you supposed to plank after your attempt at planking gives way
i.e. how many 'reps'
― j., Thursday, 25 January 2018 23:59 (six years ago) link
I'm 40 on Sunday, and spending it with my partner in a quiet Suffolk hotel, hopefully reading a PG Wodehouse novel and having our energetic walking plans rained off.
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 26 January 2018 00:46 (six years ago) link
That’s a good birthday.
― direct to consumer online mattress brand (silby), Friday, 26 January 2018 01:46 (six years ago) link
My bf was complaining about how much his joints and muscles were always hurting and he does moderately physical labor for a living so I wasn't really listening, and then he started taking a basic multivitamin and now he's a new human being. So fwiw.
― Conic section rebellion 44 (in orbit), Friday, 26 January 2018 02:23 (six years ago) link
― sarahell
Pilates has more cool gear and less spirituality
― Josefa, Friday, 26 January 2018 04:22 (six years ago) link
We've all heard a lot of aging-related jokes about the Nirvana Nevermind baby, but for real, 2018 is the year that baby outlives Kurt Cobain
― Josefa, Friday, 26 January 2018 04:26 (six years ago) link
Just gotta get past April first.
― pplains, Friday, 26 January 2018 05:21 (six years ago) link
Old metal dudes are the best. I kinda wish I was among them but I'm pretty damn borderline.
― earlnash, Friday, 26 January 2018 05:33 (six years ago) link
That’s a good birthday.Whether or not it rains.
― Haribo Hancock (sic), Friday, 26 January 2018 07:50 (six years ago) link
friend on FB (Carrol O'Connor was 44 years old and Jean Stapleton was 45 when All in the Family first came on TV) pic.twitter.com/pJnvAECzPs— joe janecek (@joejanecek) January 26, 2018
maybe we're okay
― mookieproof, Friday, 26 January 2018 15:55 (six years ago) link
holy shit
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 15:59 (six years ago) link
Those were the daaaaaays
― Tippi Sanhedrin (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:11 (six years ago) link
they look like they live on cottage cheese and applesauce
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:15 (six years ago) link
Cottage cheeese- and apple blintz-fueled epidemic of chinlessness.
― Conic section rebellion 44 (in orbit), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:40 (six years ago) link
That's not quite true about the AiTF leads; O'Connor was 46 and Stapleton was 48. (They seem to be referring to the first pilot from a couple years earlier, which never got a regulkar broadcast). Still yeah, people generally looked older then.
― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:45 (six years ago) link
James Gandolfini didn't turn 40 until 2001. In this pic, he's 39:
https://i.imgur.com/gM5XAY2.png
― pplains, Friday, 26 January 2018 18:20 (six years ago) link
is it just me or are we aging better as a generation? i mean i know _I_ look good but it seems like most of my fortysomething friends look like they're in their thirties. these boomer/greatest gen guys in their forties look like they're in their fifties
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 26 January 2018 18:40 (six years ago) link
i wouldn't say it extends to everyone in my generation but many people whose lifestyle permits seem to be holding up better than their elders (self included) life can make a person look haggard in any number of ways; age is but one of them
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:03 (six years ago) link
having a kid pretty much destroys you is how i break it down to an extent
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:06 (six years ago) link
ABSOLUTELY. Though I never say this out loud around people I know who have kids.
― grawlix (unperson), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:09 (six years ago) link
(active) dads and moms alike ime; pretty clearly the lack of sleep and massive stress that does it
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:14 (six years ago) link
^ This. Obv it's a generalization and not true of everyone but in general the ppl I know who look the youngest out of my peers are the ones who don't have kids.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:23 (six years ago) link
also these days we're less likely to have been smoking for 30 years
― mookieproof, Friday, 26 January 2018 19:24 (six years ago) link
and probably eat more fresh vegetables
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:27 (six years ago) link
I smoked for 20 years but I've also been using eye cream and anti-aging moisturizer since I was 18 and a very wise esthetician told me it was never too early to start and to always always wear sunscreen. I would tongue kiss that lady if I could find her today. Also, I do think genetics plays a role in this stuff too.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:28 (six years ago) link
I got made fun of for leaving my eye cream at a friend's apartment after a sleepover for a bachelorette party when I was in my mid-twenties. An email was sent around asking who the old lady was her forgot her cream and they all laughed. Guess who's laughing now, ladies? I read something the other day which said that 20 somethings are now getting botox as a preventive anti-aging thing which seems bonkers to me.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 19:41 (six years ago) link
I had a meeting with a client yesterday who is two years older than me and has two kids, and she looks pretty great. Like the people I know who are my age that have kids don't look any older than those who don't -- maybe the women are slightly heavier, which culturally connotes "older" -- however, fat generally makes your skin look younger.
Like, all else being equal, the heavier people I know in their 40s have younger looking skin than the thin ones, so it kinda evens out in the "what age do you look" department, outside of wardrobe choices and balding/graying issues.
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 21:20 (six years ago) link
but honestly (xp way up thread), if I had the time (and fuck I wish I did), I would photoshop Archie and Edith wearing contemporary "hip" 40-something clothes and see whether they still look "old" for their ages.
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 21:24 (six years ago) link
the way people treat agedness as repellent disappoints meyouth will always be fleeting -- even for the genetically fortunate, the diligent moisturizers, the health freaks. even if i look younger than i am right now, some day i won't and i want to be able to feel alright about myself when that happens.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 26 January 2018 21:26 (six years ago) link
yeah! especially at our age(s) -- it's one thing when your a teen/20-something, but now, it's like self-loathing. Why do it? ... Funny enough, earlier today my neighbor (who I think is about 80) was using her new walker and getting on the senior bus, and I envisioned myself at that age doing the same thing -- what it would be like, how I would feel about my fellow infirm senior citizens -- would it be like when I was 8 and switched schools and had to take the bus, with a bunch of other children, an age where we're fragile and dependent as well.
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 21:34 (six years ago) link
I'm fine with aging and actually looking quite forward to it but I agree that the way people treat it is really upsetting. I know that it's inevitable but I'm still going to take small measures like using moisturizers and sunscreen to look the best I can as I get older and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I don't want to look like I'm 25 but I'm quite happy to look good for forty if that makes any sense.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 21:36 (six years ago) link
Tbh I'm going full on kaftan, crazy glasses, and turbans when I hit 70 and I'm very much looking forward to my Mrs. Roper chic stage of life.
I'm pretty much full-on Mrs. Roper chic in the summer when it gets over 90.
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 21:38 (six years ago) link
And although I would like to see Carol O'C in the outfits you're proposing, S, I think he'd sill look pretty damn old for 44. I honestly would have guessed he was about 60 in that picture.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 21:38 (six years ago) link
x-post - yessssssssssssss :)
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 21:39 (six years ago) link
the kaftan thing is great -- you get air circulation, don't worry about shaving your legs, getting sunburned ...and potentially importantly, it signals to the men who seem to develop into super solicitous creeps in the hot months, that you do not give a fuck, and they should leave you the fuck alone.
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 21:40 (six years ago) link
xxp - I just think about how we perceive age -- as in "how old is this person" -- and what forms those perceptions, what cues do we look for. Some of it is biological/genetic, but I think there's cultural influence in that as well, idk.
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 21:50 (six years ago) link
Yeah think about Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart as romantic leads. In the mid-20th century straight white guys did not necessarily want or need to look young.
― Tippi Sanhedrin (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 26 January 2018 21:52 (six years ago) link
x-post - No, I think you're definitely right about that. Also, the air circulation factor is key. I pretty much only wear dresses in the summer for that reason. When it's hot and humid out I can't stand clothes that are clingy.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Friday, 26 January 2018 21:53 (six years ago) link
xp - honestly think about the fact that Harrison Ford and Clint Eastwood were romantic leads up until ...
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 22:03 (six years ago) link
which brings us to the contentious territory of aging men vs. women
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 22:04 (six years ago) link
Well, yeah.
― Tippi Sanhedrin (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 26 January 2018 22:19 (six years ago) link
when Spencer Tracy was Bruce Springsteen's age, he was dead.
― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 January 2018 22:22 (six years ago) link
An ex-bf of mine (Irish, not an ILXor, died unexpectedly last year) always asked people ‘what is your age’ and I always thought that was a better way of putting it!
― kim jong deal (suzy), Friday, 26 January 2018 22:26 (six years ago) link
did he get a bunch of clever responses like "stone", "mesozoic", and "golden"?
― sarahell, Friday, 26 January 2018 22:28 (six years ago) link
Carroll O'Connor in 1968 at age 44:
https://i.imgur.com/dwiNJjp.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/M9JO4nG.jpg
― pplains, Friday, 26 January 2018 22:58 (six years ago) link
Also so happy to have finally found a thread to post 50-year-old Carroll O'Connor pictures.
― pplains, Friday, 26 January 2018 22:59 (six years ago) link
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses)
no i'm pretty much decrepit, carroll o'connor looks great compared to me
― Arnold Schoenberg Steals (rushomancy), Saturday, 27 January 2018 00:46 (six years ago) link
http://i.cdn.turner.com/v5cache/TCM/Images/Dynamic/i440/kellysheroes_forgetaboutyourflanks_FC_470x264_052720170642.jpg
Carroll O'Connor at 45
https://www.thevintagenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/006wy7kd.jpg
meanwhile, same movie - clint eastwood at 39 (movie came out when he was 40)
― sarahell, Saturday, 27 January 2018 03:15 (six years ago) link
Potato chips will do wonders
― calstars, Saturday, 27 January 2018 03:16 (six years ago) link
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nfRW82om7IE/UVL0JSb8KOI/AAAAAAAADf4/QGz2GfIJ5nU/s1600/The_Enforcer_Clint_Eastwood.jpg
Clint at 45
― sarahell, Saturday, 27 January 2018 03:18 (six years ago) link
YEah, he and George Harrison at a tie.
― pplains, Saturday, 27 January 2018 03:22 (six years ago) link
OK, feel like we're making progress here.
https://i.imgur.com/TMkybHs.jpg
― pplains, Saturday, 27 January 2018 03:31 (six years ago) link
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z3FxI3Mt3PU/U5a5ydpRNcI/AAAAAAAAN-8/3hzfSRCCukg/s1600/Up-The-Down-Staircase-Jean-Stapleton-1967.JPG
here she is at 44
― sarahell, Saturday, 27 January 2018 03:49 (six years ago) link
carroll o'c did a nice slooow southern accent in 'in the heat of the night' despite being from nyc
― mookieproof, Saturday, 27 January 2018 04:40 (six years ago) link
I think people were expected to dress/look old, back in the day.
― Mark G, Saturday, 27 January 2018 10:39 (six years ago) link
I was watching God's Own Country last night and noticed how it inverted the sexist movie rulebook by having Ian Hart play the partner of Gemma Jones, who is 20 odd years his senior. Mind you he, fine actor as he is, is knackered and old looking enough looking to pull it off. Not meant in a shitty way, I've similar genes at work on me.
― calzino, Saturday, 27 January 2018 10:53 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DVBDw1GX4AAlCJr.jpg:small
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 February 2018 17:01 (six years ago) link
by having Ian Hart play the partner of Gemma Jones, who is 20 odd years his senior
The rulebook is intact; she plays his mother-in-law, as I remember it (not his mother, I don't think). At any rate, she is the grandmother of the protagonist. A few critics missed this too.
― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 February 2018 17:05 (six years ago) link
the son calls her "Nan" i think.
― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 February 2018 17:06 (six years ago) link
I must have misheard that as "mam".
― calzino, Friday, 2 February 2018 17:40 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/tDyNaxf.jpg
― pplains, Friday, 2 February 2018 17:47 (six years ago) link
Rarely have I ever wanted to actually punch a computer screen and yet.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 February 2018 17:48 (six years ago) link
People scream at concerts?
http://www.babylonisburning.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/psycho-scream.jpeg
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 21:37 (six years ago) link
― sarahell, Wednesday, January 24, 2018 11:06 PM (one month ago)
Update -- I rotated the mattress a few weeks back and now do not have the pain anymore.
― sarahell, Saturday, 3 March 2018 20:52 (six years ago) link
√
― j., Saturday, 3 March 2018 20:58 (six years ago) link
Rotated my mattress a couple of weeks ago and got the same effect. I think I might have worn a groove in it.Also it might be because of the relentless summer sunshine, but oh boy are the grey hairs starting to come in on top. Looks OK though. If I can pull of an 'old Deckard' look at 75 I'll be happy.
― Visibly Over 25 (snoball), Saturday, 30 June 2018 08:56 (five years ago) link
Also I would like to report considerably less patience with people who talk out of their arse all the time.
― Visibly Over 25 (snoball), Saturday, 30 June 2018 08:57 (five years ago) link
Hey turned 40 a bit over a month ago, don't care much so far. Lots of grey but for some reason it only seems to show in my beard.
― albvivertine, Saturday, 30 June 2018 22:44 (five years ago) link
Yokoso
― calstars, Saturday, 30 June 2018 22:55 (five years ago) link
I’ll be landing squarely in the middle of my forties this month as I turn 45. I’m uh, not in love with the idea but I don’t have too much of a say in the matter.
More on the ground reportage as my 40s keep happening.
― Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 30 June 2018 23:20 (five years ago) link
I'm liking 40 a lot so far I think. The creeping sense of FOMO about basically everything actually seems to be helping with priorities a little bit.
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 1 July 2018 00:49 (five years ago) link
I'm 41, so I guess I should mingle in here, right?
― The Harsh Tutelage of Michael McDonald (Raymond Cummings), Sunday, 1 July 2018 00:59 (five years ago) link
Christ I am 48 now. Does not compute.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 1 July 2018 01:14 (five years ago) link
just u wait!
― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 1 July 2018 01:23 (five years ago) link
Yeah was gonna say, just wait until you pass through Area 51.
― Uncle Redd in the Zingtime (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 1 July 2018 02:22 (five years ago) link
Gonna be 47 in December. Celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary this minth.
― grawlix (unperson), Sunday, 1 July 2018 02:30 (five years ago) link
Lol morbs quoting Hamilton
― President Keyes, Sunday, 1 July 2018 03:01 (five years ago) link
Murray Hamilton?
― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 1 July 2018 03:06 (five years ago) link
Know yourself at any age. Lots of us love y’all
― Garden variety uncouth (Ross), Sunday, 1 July 2018 08:53 (five years ago) link
Gonna be 47 in December. Celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary this minth.sort of got skipped over but this is utterly brilliant
― karl wallogina (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 1 July 2018 10:46 (five years ago) link
In my 50s here, and in my experience it's a lot harder than your 40s.
The main reason is that if you're not happy with your life, or you feel you took a major wrong turn 30 years ago, it feel too late to do something about it. And its all too easy to be lost in obsessive thoughts about it. For the first time in my life I'm seeking counselling.
Would be good to hear more from morbs.
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 1 July 2018 10:53 (five years ago) link
Well, having separated from my wife of 20 years and fallen in love with someone who actually makes me feel loved, I can attest that 48 has been a watershed for me. And counselling has helped me to realise how I constructed the trap in which I found myself.In a weird way I am delighted, I had felt very hollow after apparently solving all the problems most people deal with in affluent Western societies and gaining no satisfaction from that.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 1 July 2018 12:11 (five years ago) link
Good to hear. And good to be reminded that if you can overcome your problems, there's a positive side when you come through.
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 1 July 2018 12:21 (five years ago) link
48 later this month. Regrets become a extremely potent brew by this point, but I’m still trying to build a way out of this economic leg hold trap I’m in.
― cheese is the teacher, ham is the preacher (Jon not Jon), Sunday, 1 July 2018 12:32 (five years ago) link
Not sure i have "come through", I think I'm about 50% of the way "through" and with plenty of my old problems stuck to me. What is great is the realisation that growth and change is possible at any stage of life.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 1 July 2018 12:38 (five years ago) link
The hardest ages for me to come to terms with were 25 and 50. My forties were a golden age, I loved them. I'd spent my thirties hell-bent on pleasure, to compensate for a lack of fulfillment. In my forties, pleasure settled into a better place in my priorities, as fulfillment rapidly increased.
Turning 50 made me feel old, in a way that turning 40 hadn't, and I found it harder to envisage a path forwards. I'm 56 now, and that's all resolved. I've gracefully shed some aspects of my younger life, but by no means all. My aging system can't take quite so much pleasure, but it can take enough.
In my twenties and thirties, I socialised almost exclusively within a narrow age range. That started changing in my forties, and to my surprise, it's expanded even more in my fifties. I have friends who I see regularly in every half-decade age group from 19 to 80, and I value that enormously. I've also become a great deal more accepting of my weaknesses and flaws. That took long enough.
― mike t-diva, Sunday, 1 July 2018 13:22 (five years ago) link
beautiful words Mike
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 1 July 2018 13:27 (five years ago) link
The main reason is that if you're not happy with your life, or you feel you took a major wrong turn 30 years ago, it feel too late to do something about it.otm, i really feel like my life is over
― karl wallogina (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 1 July 2018 13:45 (five years ago) link
In an odd way I feel fortunate that I screwed up almost continually between 18 and 27. I spent my entire 30s feeling terrible, but now it feels like I got all of that out of the way early.
― Visibly Over 25 (snoball), Sunday, 1 July 2018 14:01 (five years ago) link
The main reason is that if you're not happy with your life, or you feel you took a major wrong turn 30 years ago, it feel too late to do something about it.
otm, i really feel like my life is over
― karl wallogina (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, July 1, 2018 8:45 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
too real
― The Harsh Tutelage of Michael McDonald (Raymond Cummings), Sunday, 1 July 2018 15:36 (five years ago) link
Reality used to be a friend of mine.
― Uncle Redd in the Zingtime (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 1 July 2018 15:42 (five years ago) link
Snoball I think you might be completely otm but I’m getting into a groove lately and don’t wanna count my chickens just yet
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 1 July 2018 18:00 (five years ago) link
34 here but my life was way better 5 years ago. It’s been downhill since then. Despite having great friends and a music “career” nothing has really worked out. So I basically don’t care anymore. I’m healthier and looking better than ever. But meh. So where do you go from here? H
― Garden variety uncouth (Ross), Sunday, 1 July 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link
So where do you go from here?
around the next curve. most lives have plenty of them.
― A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 1 July 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link
Yeah
― Garden variety uncouth (Ross), Sunday, 1 July 2018 18:13 (five years ago) link
my forties were fucking heavy.the biggest rollercoaster of my life.already my 50s have proved to be interesting.a few days before I turned 50 I was made redundant for the first time in my life.and 6 months on, I have no desire to ever return to the full time/corp crap.its been a lovely experience just being a stay at home dad, and stuff.once the dad thing is over though I suspect things will be very different.so, already my 50s is very very different to what my expectations were.
― mark e, Sunday, 1 July 2018 19:11 (five years ago) link
Maybe we're going to need a new thread for ILX'ers in their 50s.... Great to hear bits of everyone's stories. I'm 53. Between work and having twins at age 40, my 40s went by in a blur. Time has slowed down now that the kids are older and I feel like I've kinda figured out what I like and what I don't. Just more comfortable doing me. And there's still plenty left to accomplish. I'm lucky to be in a line of work that values experience & perspective so getting older actually opens up some opportunities.
― that's not my post, Monday, 2 July 2018 05:23 (five years ago) link
we're going to need a new thread for ILX'ers in their 50s
Predictably, every ilx thread with a title containing the words "fifties" or "sixties" refer to either the 1950s or 1960s.
― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 2 July 2018 05:27 (five years ago) link
In my early 50s and I agree with everyone upthread that your 50s is qualitatively quite different from your 40s. In my 40s I felt in the midst of my life, I could still take major life-changing decisions in my stride like moving continents. Now, I'm more like, this is what I made of my life, I chose this pathway for good or ill, I'm stuck with it.
And then there's health. Ten years ago I felt in perfect health - now I sleep with a CPAP machine, I've got a dodgy knee that I'll probably have to live with for the rest of my life, I'm on a daily statin for my high cholesterol ... To get down to brutal brass tacks, I guess the fact that I'll eventually die felt more abstract in my 40s, and more real now.
― Zelda Zonk, Monday, 2 July 2018 05:54 (five years ago) link
Not long till I'm eligible for this thread and everyone's bailing on it? Story of my life.
― Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Monday, 2 July 2018 08:54 (five years ago) link
My old life came to an end in my fifties. I was made redundant at 51, thus bringing a 28-year career to a close, as my senior technical IT skillset is no longer marketable. That was fine; I rarely enjoyed the work very much, and having just paid off the mortgage, my living costs were reduced. I look back on those 28 years as a means to an end - something I had to do, and that I'm glad to be done with. I make a far more modest living these days, but my job satisfaction and work ethic are massively higher.
Then, at 52, we left the city I had lived in for 34 years, and moved to a small town in a different part of the country, where we knew no-one. So I've basically had to re-invent myself. The first year was lonely and tough, but I forced myself to adapt, integrate and contribute, and I now love my new life.
― mike t-diva, Monday, 2 July 2018 11:52 (five years ago) link
and I now love my new life
this is heartening to hear, both as a positive example and also i'm glad you're doing well mike
― I'd Rather Kecak (NickB), Monday, 2 July 2018 12:08 (five years ago) link
This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's
― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Monday, 2 July 2018 12:56 (five years ago) link
15 months I was at the best point in my adult life. I was doing what I loved, and generating a good income from it. I had no debt! Then I decided to try to make a good situation even better by adding drugs. That worked for about three months until the drugs took over. I had severe addiction issues in the past; I just thought I'd be able to manage it this time.
I went broke (and unemployed) last September. My life the last 9 months has been heavy, heavy going. But just last month I met a guy in AA, an extraordinarily kind, wise, thoughtful dude, and he's been coaching me into, hopefully, a better way to live. He's got me running around like a headless chicken, but it's working, I feel real hope, real joy. My whole fucking life has been bullshit basically, but maybe that can change. I'll do whatever. I'm 43 -- sorry for the lifestory I maybe needed to express this somewhere.
― glengarry glen lurkmore (rip van wanko), Monday, 2 July 2018 14:55 (five years ago) link
Thanks for that. I'm in a similar situation myself, been thinking about AA.
― albvivertine, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:14 (five years ago) link
xp No, that's fair enough, 40s have a way of producing self-reflection.
I started mine at the start of 2015, in a protracted breakup with my ex-fiancée, and at the weekend I got affianced again. This seems ridiculously lucky - I was expecting a quiet life going to the pub and occasional movies, with some ILX elder statesmen (S's Mark & Martin) as role models.
Now I have to actually go out and get that blood test (for high blood pressure) that I was hoping to ignore for another few months.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:22 (five years ago) link
fiancées will do that alright (grats)
― the last famous poster you were surprised to discover was actually (darraghmac), Monday, 2 July 2018 15:25 (five years ago) link
Congrats YMOF.
― Tim, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:25 (five years ago) link
ty ty.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:33 (five years ago) link
Indeed, adding to that.
50 still a ways off but I'll hit three-quarters through my forties in two more months; as 50 is theoretically the earliest I could retire (not that I plan on it) I do see it as something I want to get through, if only because it opens up a few more general possibilities. But I'll enjoy the time I have now, of course.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 2 July 2018 16:27 (five years ago) link
retire?!
― j., Monday, 2 July 2018 17:02 (five years ago) link
i'm 48 and i honestly can't see me being able to give up work for at least another 20 years ;_;
― I'd Rather Kecak (NickB), Monday, 2 July 2018 17:16 (five years ago) link
public servant fistbump
course the actuarial cut is swingeing
― the last famous poster you were surprised to discover was actually (darraghmac), Monday, 2 July 2018 17:17 (five years ago) link
Just don’t retire from ilx, Ned
― calstars, Monday, 2 July 2018 17:20 (five years ago) link
I was here the first day, think I'll be here when they finally turn out the lights.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 2 July 2018 17:26 (five years ago) link
;)
― glengarry glen lurkmore (rip van wanko), Monday, 2 July 2018 17:33 (five years ago) link
I don't know, man. I hoping ilxor can keep up and running until the inevitable message board revival of 2029. We'll all be like gods.
― President Keyes, Monday, 9 July 2018 14:00 (five years ago) link
ilx will run longer than snl or the simpsons and will promote just as many arguments about when it turned to shite.
― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 9 July 2018 16:25 (five years ago) link
That's the site description right there!
― Mark G, Monday, 9 July 2018 23:13 (five years ago) link
“public servant fistbump” is a good username
― El Tomboto, Monday, 9 July 2018 23:25 (five years ago) link
Rather.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 9 July 2018 23:30 (five years ago) link
It's surreal to realize that I met some of you when I was in my late teens (in college) on the Fake Matador Bulletin Board, and I've been on here since...what, my early 20s? I'll probably die in the middle of an ILX post, and that thought doesn't really sadden me.
― Groove(box) Denied (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 00:18 (five years ago) link
I was on FMBB but I dont remember anyone from here?!
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:19 (five years ago) link
In seven months, I'll be a member of this thread.
― I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
Morbz was on FMBB, so was Johnny Fever (right?)
I was as well (as Domino)
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/20BpjIg.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:31 (five years ago) link
Is it common once you've reached your forties to basically no longer GAF about having reached your forties, because it's been a year and I'm basically just all like 'whatever, dude' about the whole thing. Maybe if I was like a skateboarder or something and started feeling my knees give out it would be a big deal, but I can still sit around and do nothing of consequence with just as much alacrity as I could in decades past.
― Welcome to Gropelord, TX (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:31 (five years ago) link
I just started the last year of my 40s as of yesterday. ;_;
― Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:39 (five years ago) link
Is it common once you've reached your forties to basically no longer GAF about having reached your forties
it depends on your social life/lifestyle ... I'm about half way through my 40s and I generally don't GAF, but sometimes I'm out somewhere, and I'm talking to a friend or a member of the desired sex, and the fact that I am much older than that person, like, I got my driver's license the year they were born, or I could have gone to high school with their parents ... it can be a bit awkward
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:45 (five years ago) link
I turned 40 this year but I've been going grey since I was 15 so not much has changed from getting older.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:47 (five years ago) link
I really want to grow out my hair so it's all white but I think I would have to shave my head first.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:49 (five years ago) link
ageism is rampant and more or less sanctioned afaicti refuse to impose it on myself so i try to feel as good as i can about my age, which is >40
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:50 (five years ago) link
I'm 44 and I get one or two gray hairs a month ... I pluck them ... it's probably partly why ppl tend to think I'm younger than I am
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:52 (five years ago) link
i am a spazz and sometimes like to just sprint like i'm running a receiver route or something, but when my says "GO!!" by body says, let's just not
wow 44 is late to start going gray
― itsabot! (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:53 (five years ago) link
I think I am pretty much 80-85% grey but I have really dark hair and it's long so it would all have to go at once.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:55 (five years ago) link
also just that socially, I think people tend to assume/want it to be the case that the people they socialize with are like them -- with similarities in age being part of that. For me, it's not a case of being "old" = "bad" but that there is a difference as opposed to a similarity. I see the same thing play out with economic class and it used to be this way re race, though people are now way more conscientious of race issues.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:56 (five years ago) link
Maybe if I was like a skateboarder or something and started feeling my knees give out it would be a big deal, but I can still sit around and do nothing of consequence with just as much alacrity as I could in decades past.
I play a lot of basketball and am better than I was when I was 20, though prob not quite as quick. Can actually jump lil higher tho. Older guys I've played with say 50 is when they really started feeling like their body was betraying them.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:59 (five years ago) link
6 months to go.
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:59 (five years ago) link
xpost one of the things i like about big cities is age matters less socially. I find it difficult to figure out how old someone is and for the most part people don't really care.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:00 (five years ago) link
yeah, I like the fact that my urban social community has a wide difference in ages -- it is like a multi-generational family in that way -- but in specific instances it can be awkward, like when you are 44 and a dude hits on you and says he is 24 ... do you have mommy issues or ....?
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:04 (five years ago) link
i laughed when i found out i was the same age as my new colleague's parents.
― Toss another shrimpl air on the bbqbbq (ledge), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:08 (five years ago) link
I know what you mean but in the small towns I've been living in last few years (hefty population of transplants, so wanting to connect with new people), a lot of the clubs and meetups and art/music/etc events attract all ages. Simply because there is a limited number of people and events. Can't have a over 50 art club for Methodist Veterans or whatever but can have a general Art Club and oh hey I've never actually done art but am I retiree in a new town and it'd be fun to give art a try and I bet they're not too serious about it here and are eager for new members and hmm isn't that the 20 yr old tatted-up artsy barrista from the corner shop over there at an easel?
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:09 (five years ago) link
When I first started consciously feeling / realizing I was older than the people around me, I had the tendency to bring up age in conversation. But no one really cares. It’s really not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. Now when I overhear older people talking about how old they are to younger people - especially in an attempt to be funny- I just smh
― calstars, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:16 (five years ago) link
otm
― itsabot! (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:17 (five years ago) link
the tendency to bring up age in conversation
rn, in my mid-60s, I bring up my age only in the context of telling younger people that I am less energetic than I was ten years ago and cannot do the same amount of tasks in a day. I'm entering the period in life when my limits are more easily reached and my main goal is to keep that trajectory to a gentle glide rather than a steep descent. So far, so good.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:24 (five years ago) link
nothing makes me feel older than being confronted with the appalling ignorance of the young (usually about history, or pre-smartphone existence or how the government works or who Orson Welles or Kraftwerk are)
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:28 (five years ago) link
i bring it up mostly in the context of trying to be supportive or assuage anxiety in younger friends ... like, it's okay that you're in this position now, you shouldn't feel like a failure at life, you've still got a lot of it left
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:28 (five years ago) link
in other words, "don't feel like a fuck up. I was a much bigger fuck up when I was yr age, and now I'm awesome" or so they think
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:29 (five years ago) link
i don't mind being my age, but i do get a little freaked out by stuff like 'oh, cool song, i remember when that came out 35 years ago. and 35 years before *that* they were playing polka on the radio'
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:33 (five years ago) link
― Colonel Poo, Saturday, 30 December 2017 17:34 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
well that certainly turned out to be the case
― Colonel Poo, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:33 (five years ago) link
^^ same
recently i was chatting with a person i knew was my junior (but not by how much) about van halen and i was like "yeah i never really got into them" and he posited "i think you needed to grow up in the 80s to be able to enjoy them" and i felt compelled to -- and did lightheartedly -- tell this person that i did grow up in the 80s, i just thought van halen were dumb and gross. it was funny. he may have been surprised that i am older than he thought but it was not a huge thing. just a little lol at van halen's expense.
i always choose not to feel bad about being older than other people. as for young people not knowing stuff, i like being useful and i am a teacher so it's not an affront when students don't know who jimi hendrix is. i can teach them. that is my job. :)
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:35 (five years ago) link
oops that same was to sarahell i was indeed a much bigger fuckup than most of the young people i encounter these days
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:36 (five years ago) link
also they don't even teach kids how sex works in school, it's no surprise they don't understand state legislatures
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:37 (five years ago) link
also stuff like the cost of housing where I live and the cost of higher education/student loan debt -- younger ppl have it harder than I did.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:39 (five years ago) link
I just feel awkward about it, like uh oh am I doing the cranky old white male mansplaining thing by telling you about how important Kraftwerk were in the development of that shitty electronic dance music you like so much
also I am not a teacher tbf
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:40 (five years ago) link
just be cool manthey can google kraftwerk, they don't need you
my only moment of that feeling was when i was at a show organized by some very young people and i said something about Can and they were like who's that and i wigged and excitedly told them about Can...and then maybe a day or two later I realized they may have been just fucking with me and they wanted to see the old lady wig out and i felt stupid. but whatever. so i feel stupid? i can't let that bother me. i didn't hurt anyone. i just wigged about Can. that's human.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:43 (five years ago) link
what's Can
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:44 (five years ago) link
Can is a bandGoogle "can band"
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:45 (five years ago) link
see how cool i was that time
Suzi Quatro's side project.
― Chequers Plays Pop (snoball), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:45 (five years ago) link
they are a band who had a song called Can Can. google "can can can" if you want to know more
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:46 (five years ago) link
I think it's cooler when ppl excitedly explain to me the things I don't know about than when they ask me to look it up
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:46 (five years ago) link
fwiw
keep telling ppl about bands LL it's good
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:47 (five years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d65oQPTYI4o
^these vids friggin blew my mind
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:47 (five years ago) link
yeah me tooi just had this terrible feeling that they did know and they were laughing at me while i was being happy and excitedthat's just mean
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:48 (five years ago) link
I had this weird job once setting up 4merican 4pparel stores on the east coast and The Clash came on the soundsystem and a worker asked me who it was. I gave a quick summary (punk, London, 70s/early 80s), and she said "oh, like The Beatles." I just nodded.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:49 (five years ago) link
aw, that's tender. i love teaching young people about music.it's literally part of my job!! having students who are a blank slate and willing to listen >>>>> students who think they know everything and test you just to be assholes
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:51 (five years ago) link
I'm just gonna tell every kid I meet that I'm Damo Suzuki
― itsabot! (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:15 (five years ago) link
the kids in that video actually knew more than I expected! interesting to hear all the off-the-wall ways they came in contact with some of these songs (Perks of Being a Wallflower soundtrack, Jonas Brothers cover, Just Dance).
― evol j, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:20 (five years ago) link
the title -- DO TEENS KNOW 80s MUSIC? (REACT: Do They Know It?) -- almost seems like a deliberate Bojack parody (Hollywoo Stars and Celebrities: What Do They Know? Do They Know Things?? Let's Find Out!)
― evol j, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:21 (five years ago) link
Not surprisingly, all the featured teens in the video are vivacious and good-looking. Therefore, a representative sample of "TEENS" who might "KNOW 80s MUSIC".
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:24 (five years ago) link
doing karaoke with young people (late 20s/early 30s) is a trip!
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:25 (five years ago) link
i'm told that the kids are into 'frasier' now; this is where they lost me
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:26 (five years ago) link
karaoke is where you really see generational differences re music nostalgia
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:27 (five years ago) link
Apparently "Friends" is a thing with the kids today. My partner teaches high school English, and her students bring it up often (with the occasional "were the '90s really like that?" question).
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:30 (five years ago) link
Still think Frasier's boilerplate "overheard / misunderstood" plot is just Three's Company with better vocabulary and actors.
― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:30 (five years ago) link
yeah, in grad school, we had to write a script for an episode of Frasier, and it was pretty much that
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:31 (five years ago) link
I refuse to countenance the idea that Kelsey of the Dark Secrets Grammar is a better comic actor than John Ritter
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:31 (five years ago) link
Haha, point taken. I'm thinking more of David Hyde Pierce's comic timing.
― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:34 (five years ago) link
everyone always thinks i'm younger than i am which most people think is great but the flipside is that i get passed over for jobs that other, more wrinkly colleagues somehow just seem more suited for and the other thing is that i'm gonna die way before people are expecting
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 21:53 (five years ago) link
i look younger than i am too and it always stings when people comment on it because if looking young is what is good about me, i can expect that not to last long. it's like getting an extension on an assignment; the assignment (looking older) is coming it's just not here quite yet. it'll be here eventually.
otherwise i don't mind.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:08 (five years ago) link
All sorts of shit is big with my kids. The US version of the Office, Friends, Glee. Grey's Anatomy. Whatevs, if it makes them happy.Couple of months until I turn 44. Feels fine so far. Got a nice mostly gray beard.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:18 (five years ago) link
"was the 90s really like that?"
to my own consternation, I don't even understand the question
― itsabot! (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:28 (five years ago) link
I fully support the youngins being into Frasier.
I will be 41 a month from today and I am excited about it! I’ve never felt better about myself or more comfortable in my own skin. Tbh I think I look better now than I did when I was 20. I like aging so far and I’m excited about the woman I’m becoming.
I dye my hair so I have no idea how much of it is grey but I def get a couple in my bangs that I pluck. No big deal.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:28 (five years ago) link
To Tracer’s point - I made a point of telling people my age at my last job once I realized they thought I was a lot younger and were treating me differently as a result.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:30 (five years ago) link
That REACT vid link gave me a few laughs, being right in the same age range as their parents, playing The Cure and trying to influence my nephew with my tastes. I liked how open they seemed to the music, not derisive, but genuinely appreciative and/or bemused.
― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Thursday, 29 November 2018 00:42 (five years ago) link
Whatever age the protagonist of Hey Nineteen is, that’s the age I aspire to and am in my mind
― calstars, Thursday, 29 November 2018 01:04 (five years ago) link
Sometimes it bums me out to realize when Hey Nineteen was released Fagen/Becker were 32 and 30, respectively. I’m the same amount older than them as they were to the 19 yr old.
― omar little, Thursday, 29 November 2018 01:15 (five years ago) link
32 in the '70s is like 65 today so don't worry
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 29 November 2018 01:22 (five years ago) link
"Hey 38" would be the new version
hey 38that's Lily Allen
― omar little, Thursday, 29 November 2018 01:46 (five years ago) link
(too recent actually....)
"hey 40, that's ella mai..."
― pplains, Thursday, 29 November 2018 01:59 (five years ago) link
I will say that one unalloyed good of gender transition is that I dont look like a 49 year old man, I look like a maybe early 40s woman.
― Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Thursday, 29 November 2018 03:17 (five years ago) link
I'm 44 and for years looked younger than I was but my beard is now 50% grey and gives it away. I've lived in college towns for years and when the places that got busted multiple times for selling to underage kids and are now super paranoid about checking IDs stop carding you, you look old.
I teach university students though which is a fascinating window into young people who get younger every year to the point that now my students have little to no recollection of September 11th happening because they were all 2-4 years old at the time and grew up with Marvel movies the way I did with Star Wars.
What's retro and cool to them is also a trip; my neighbor's kid and her friends are 14 or so and obsessed with the TV show Friends, and dressed as Friends characters for Halloween and carved the Friends logo onto a pumpkin. And in my design class I had a student talk about the design of Stranger Things which led to class discussion about 80s type and design and one of them asking "in the 80s, did everyone KNOW how 80s they looked?"
I told her that someday they would make a movie about now and the actors would be wearing yoga pants and North Face jackets and riding scooters and they all looked totally horrified.
― joygoat, Thursday, 29 November 2018 04:41 (five years ago) link
In less than two years Hey Nineteen could be about someone born on 9/11
― omar little, Thursday, 29 November 2018 04:55 (five years ago) link
"in the 80s, did everyone KNOW how 80s they looked?"I feel like they kinda did!
― sans lep (sic), Thursday, 29 November 2018 05:41 (five years ago) link
This was definitely the case for me at UCI in re shifting perceptions of cultural baselines. I get less of it now at my current UCSF job but the volunteers I oversee provide a small lifeline there.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 29 November 2018 05:50 (five years ago) link
I remember in the 80s thinking "we are the new thing, we're making the 80s its own style" and then I wore a pink denim jacket, grey stone wash baggy jeans and a thin black leather tie to my year 10 formal dinner ... oh and grey leather shoes dear god.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 29 November 2018 06:46 (five years ago) link
heh i had someone recently compliment a sweater i was wearing as being "on trend" or something similar, and I said, "thanks, I've had this since the 80s"
― sarahell, Thursday, 29 November 2018 08:05 (five years ago) link
I feel like they kinda did!
agreed
― mookieproof, Thursday, 29 November 2018 08:15 (five years ago) link
in the 80s somebody was ribbing my dad about his suspenders (NB "braces" if you're British!) - saying how "yuppie" they were. he was like "I've had these suspenders since the 1950s"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 29 November 2018 09:48 (five years ago) link
xxp a few years ago I was told I was voted "best looking guy in IT" (not a high bar obviously) by the early/mid 20s women in the admin team, but they also said they were pretty sure I was only trendy because I'd been wearing the same clothes since the 90s and they happened to be in fashion again, which was obviously true
― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 29 November 2018 10:49 (five years ago) link
I wear shirts on the weekends older than some of my co-workers.
― pplains, Thursday, 29 November 2018 14:36 (five years ago) link
Fitting post for this thread being bumped - last week I somehow hurt my lower back really badly, and I have no idea how, and 10 days later it's still completely fucked. I've hurt my back before doing strenuous things like moving house and lifting furniture, and that lasted 3-4 days tops, this just doesn't seem to be going away.
― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 29 November 2018 14:40 (five years ago) link
I did something to my knee last year where I could barely get up the stairs - for like a month.
And then ... it just went away!
― pplains, Thursday, 29 November 2018 15:00 (five years ago) link
I was riding a packed bus to campus at my last job and realized that my circa 1991 sorel boots were older than everyone on the bus including the driver.
― joygoat, Thursday, 29 November 2018 17:55 (five years ago) link
And how old was the bus?
― pplains, Thursday, 29 November 2018 18:12 (five years ago) link
It was probably younger than everything else
― joygoat, Thursday, 29 November 2018 18:44 (five years ago) link
I was riding a packed bus to campus at my last job and realized that my circa 1991 sorel boots were older than everyone on the bus including the driver.― joygoat, Thursday, November 29, 2018 9:55 AM (fifty minutes ago)
― joygoat, Thursday, November 29, 2018 9:55 AM (fifty minutes ago)
Haha, my wife makes fun of my grey Caribous which I believe are from 1988-1989? They're a tiny bit rusty on the metal D-rings but otherwise in perfect shape.
― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Thursday, 29 November 2018 18:49 (five years ago) link
The plastic sandwich box I take to work is the same age as one of my colleagues.
― Chequers Plays Pop (snoball), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:09 (five years ago) link
on the behalf of thrift shoppers and vintage clothing wearers, old clothes do not equal old person :)
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:13 (five years ago) link
that said i have one dress i bought my freshman year in college that i still wear to work sometimes. it gives me the weirdest feeling because i have been wearing it for SO LONG
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:14 (five years ago) link
My designated funeral dress was my grandmother's. I wore it to *her* funeral, actually, about twenty years ago.
The lol is that my grandmother was a wee thing, maybe 5'3'', and I am 5'10''. Below the knee on her is well above it on me. I wear opaque tights underneath to keep from looking scandalous at funerals.
I am on the cusp of 45 and recently had the thought that were I widowed or something, I'd say fuck it to ever being in an LTR again and would exclusively date 20-something dudes. Then I'm like hmmmm what 20-something dudes would be into a much older woman, would that even be a good idea. The I'm like maybe lol maybe I could find a 20-something dude from ilx. Then I'm like "it could be Treeship!" and then I loled some more.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:22 (five years ago) link
omg
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
wonder how tall treesh is
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
an annoying thing about younger people/age difference is when they wield it in irrelevant ways-- like I was talking to a 30ish person who was very knowledgeable about modern Presidential nomination races. But when I mentioned something about Mondale vs. Hart in 1984 they just said, "That was before I was born."
yeah man, so was most of the rest of history
― President Keyes, Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:44 (five years ago) link
In my book, one of the best things about having a few decades under my belt is never having to date another 20-something.
― mick signals, Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:47 (five years ago) link
i'm over 50 and only guys under 30 are interested in me
c'est la gays
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:49 (five years ago) link
#humblebrag
(Let me know if you need me to explain that one to you, Pops.)
― you guys did not understance his stlye of english (Old Lunch), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:51 (five years ago) link
no i follow the younguns' word salads
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:52 (five years ago) link
kids today probably don't remember Harris Wittels
― President Keyes, Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:53 (five years ago) link
:,(
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:55 (five years ago) link
On that front, I'd say the most noticeable difference in my forties (and really for the last several years of my thirties) is that I used to have some degree of demonstrable niche appeal but of late I don't pick up on any signs of putative interest frivolously-prurient interest from anyone at all ever, period.
― you guys did not understance his stlye of english (Old Lunch), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:55 (five years ago) link
(Thought I'd cap off that sentence with a sampling of the word salad so favored by the yoot of today.)
― you guys did not understance his stlye of english (Old Lunch), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:56 (five years ago) link
btw i wasn't HBing; they like what i hate about me
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:57 (five years ago) link
i was not into 'daddies' in my relative youth
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 29 November 2018 19:59 (five years ago) link
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, November 29, 2018 11:13 AM (forty-two minutes ago)
quite true! so now, as a 44 yr old thrift shopper and vintage clothing wearer, when I shop for new clothes, not only am I looking at things that resemble new clothes I bought in the 80s (frou-frou fussy & puffy sleeves are a thing again) but also clothes I thrifted in the 80s/early 90s from prior decades ... there is a lot of cognitive dissonance involved (see also record shopping ... this should be a $3 record because that is how much it was priced at in the dollar bin in 1991) ... though I did recently buy a new dress that is more or less a reproduction of a vintage 50s dress I had thrifted around 1991 but I got rid of a few years back because it was a size 10, and I am very much not a size 10 anymore.
― sarahell, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:05 (five years ago) link
I am happy that this thread turned flirty. I feel like old ilx had a lot of weird crushes/hookups. thx quincie.
― Yerac, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:07 (five years ago) link
new ilx might have the same, just people are more secretive about it because other ilxors can get creepy about stuff
― sarahell, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:09 (five years ago) link
xp yup i totally empathize
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:13 (five years ago) link
ilu quincie
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:17 (five years ago) link
iirc the window on treeship as 20-something boy toy is closing fast
rufus can't be too far away though . . .
― mookieproof, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:18 (five years ago) link
My boss -- some years younger than me -- was amazed to learn that the band T-shirt I'm wearing today is from 1992, marvelling about the quality. (It is interesting to see which shirts have held up over the years -- and said shirt was a Ned's Atomic Dustbin one, so hey, it keeps up my good name.)
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:19 (five years ago) link
there will always be earnest 20 something straight cis-dudes on ilx ... there will be more treeships
― sarahell, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:22 (five years ago) link
P sure LJ is unaccountably still in his late teens or something.
― you guys did not understance his stlye of english (Old Lunch), Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:23 (five years ago) link
he is 31 iirc ... when he was in his 20s i think he proposed marriage to me on ilx? ... glad he has matured
― sarahell, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:24 (five years ago) link
you were the sam and diane of ilx for a while there
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:30 (five years ago) link
or, i dunno, keeping it in the cheers extended universe, the noel and roz of ilx
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:31 (five years ago) link
lol wut?!
this thread got crazy
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:31 (five years ago) link
being a cis-woman on a board dominated by straight men is inherently awkward
― sarahell, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:32 (five years ago) link
indeed
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:35 (five years ago) link
esp if you are single or not obviously unavailable
― sarahell, Thursday, 29 November 2018 20:36 (five years ago) link
40 is pretty good, have made measurable strides recently in emotional maturity and self-compassion. yay meditation and therapy. lucky not to have had any health problems yet. single and feel weird about it (not coming here to pick anyone up tho)
― Uhura Mazda (lukas), Thursday, 29 November 2018 23:05 (five years ago) link
i'm over 50
Me too. Where's our thread?
Probably everyone's too tired to make one.
― Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 29 November 2018 23:15 (five years ago) link
Is there an over 60 thread? Would offer my Medicare Open Enrollment expertise. Which is actually a thing I have. Ask me anything.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 29 November 2018 23:28 (five years ago) link
There is a thread for us folks over 50: [This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's]...ILXORS IN THEIR 50's
― that's not my post, Saturday, 1 December 2018 04:48 (five years ago) link
^who of course fail at ILX formatting
― that's not my post, Saturday, 1 December 2018 04:49 (five years ago) link
The all-caps is a nice touch.
― pplains, Saturday, 1 December 2018 14:07 (five years ago) link
T minus 6 days.
― Pauline Male (Eric H.), Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:07 (four years ago) link
WELCOME TO DIS
― calstars, Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:15 (four years ago) link
And in a couple of years I shall leave you all behind.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:22 (four years ago) link
I joined these ranks last year. Guess I should bookmark this, huh?
― Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:23 (four years ago) link
I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while yesterday, who was surprised when he figured out that I was over 40. "You are perpetually in your mid-30's to me," he said. That was sweet.
― Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:25 (four years ago) link
way ahead of you puny children
― mark s, Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:25 (four years ago) link
is it just me, or when you look at pictures of people you knew in highschool, college, in your 20s, they all look a lot older, meanwhile you feel like you don't look much different than you did 15 years ago?
― sarahell, Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:27 (four years ago) link
we are the Blest
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:29 (four years ago) link
maybe it's also a product of not having children? ... it does weird me out to see guys (not women, though, just guys) that I had "flirtations" with when I was younger ... seeing pictures of them with their kids. ... it feels more like "i shouldn't be seeing this" than if they sent me a dick pic out of the blue
― sarahell, Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:33 (four years ago) link
It’s definitely weird, especially if you tend toward valuing your own privacy
― calstars, Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:37 (four years ago) link
I think not having kids might have something to do with it. I saw a picture of me from 3 years ago when I was 39 about to turn 40 and I still look pretty young. 3 years later I look old as shit. but a lot has happened in those 3 years
― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:39 (four years ago) link
Someone at work, who is 24, joked that I was technically old enough to be his father. He has a nine month old kid, so I'm technically old enough to be someone's grandfather.
― just another country (snoball), Thursday, 27 June 2019 20:53 (four years ago) link
sup pops
― calstars, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:06 (four years ago) link
sigh -- I still have a penchant for ironic thrift store t-shirts (or t-shirts that look like thrift store t-shirts) and I saw a bunch of grandma themed ones, and I thought about getting one ... until I thought that I could be someone's grandma and people might see wearing it and think it wasn't ironic at all
― sarahell, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:08 (four years ago) link
ugh .. people might see *me* wearing it and think it wasn't ironic
Only the ones who've lost their hair. (I find baldies who are substantially younger than me really shocking. Last night I saw a dude on the subway whose hair was seriously thinned out on top and he couldn't have been more than 25 or so. I felt very sad for him.)
My brother's three years younger than me but I think he looks older than me. He has two kids and is pretty fat; also, he dresses like what he is, an ex-military father of two teenage sons (baggy short-sleeve button-down shirts, khaki shorts, sandals, Guy Fieri-esque sunglasses).
― shared unit of analysis (unperson), Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:12 (four years ago) link
I guess some embrace the look.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:13 (four years ago) link
sarahell but then that would be double irony, you should lean into itNine months left of my forties argh
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:18 (four years ago) link
I am 42 on Saturday. I have just shaved off the ginger beard I have sported since 2006, I now look like a startled and pudgy grey owl. And also like my mother.
― thomasintrouble, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:19 (four years ago) link
I'm 44, everything seems fine. Don't feel that old, but also sometimes feel a little intimidated knowing that I'm around the half way point and I cannot imagine the second half being more eventful than the first, at least not in a good way.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:24 (four years ago) link
Touch of Grey listening party anyone ?
― calstars, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:27 (four years ago) link
I am 49 and have been thinking a lot about the liklihood that this "second half" (if I should be so lucky) will be less eventful, less colorful, and about the imperative to compensate with commemsurate wisdom, and awareness, and how that seems like an extremely tall order
― d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:35 (four years ago) link
it feels like I wild need a bonus 49 years *after* the "second half" to be cool with just sitting in a lawn chair needing a lot of naps thinking baout things
― d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:39 (four years ago) link
I am 46 and don't look it at all. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't get random injuries the cause of which are difficult to ascertain. Foot and neck the last two weeks.
― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Thursday, 27 June 2019 22:44 (four years ago) link
Everything hurts. EVERYTHING HURTS.
My knees make crunching chip sounds. I cant tolerate a drink anymore. BLARGH.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 27 June 2019 23:13 (four years ago) link
Feeling you on that.I’m enjoying my first case of cellulitis!
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 27 June 2019 23:30 (four years ago) link
fucking shoulder got me of late and a sudden case of apnea. What used to be fighting for gains is now fighting to keep above water.not for weaklings, as they say.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 27 June 2019 23:38 (four years ago) link
cellulitis is v. unpleasant
― mookieproof, Thursday, 27 June 2019 23:40 (four years ago) link
Ngk
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 28 June 2019 00:35 (four years ago) link
Mmm, cellulitis sounds like a joy. I had a bad attack of shingles earlier this year (Jan/Feb), all over my upper back and shoulders, and down my right arm from elbow to hand (including fingers and palm). It lasted close to a month, and I've still got one dark spot on my inner elbow that seems permanent.
― shared unit of analysis (unperson), Friday, 28 June 2019 00:45 (four years ago) link
I am 46 and don't look it at all.
― calstars, Friday, 28 June 2019 01:22 (four years ago) link
My hair turned white over the last two months. I don't even care, I don't have enough of it to be bothered about, but no, I don't look like I did fifteen years ago.
― Flood-Resistant Mirror-Drilling Machine (rushomancy), Friday, 28 June 2019 02:30 (four years ago) link
i'm salt and peppering at the temples but I'm likely to be full white by 50. looking forward to it tbh!
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 28 June 2019 03:37 (four years ago) link
Ive been fully silver since my 20s. Still wondering when to stop dyeing it red.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 28 June 2019 04:08 (four years ago) link
hair started falling out a decade ago. shaved it clean and never looked back.colleagues at work recently got annoyed with me for not being in my 30s, and last month a guy tried really hard to get me to go to an under 35s meetup (i kept telling him it would be creepy and he kept saying “nah it’s fine because everyone’s under 35”)
― times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 28 June 2019 07:48 (four years ago) link
oh i’m 45
gonna need some ID
― nashwan, Friday, 28 June 2019 07:53 (four years ago) link
when i sneeze it feels like my skeleton's going to blow apart
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 16 September 2019 23:58 (four years ago) link
(offers Tracer a handkerchief)
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 00:46 (four years ago) link
I feel you. I got the flu three years ago and ended up with a cough for three months afterward. At one point, I coughed so hard a tore a rib muscle, which was fun, because it then hurt to cough.
― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 01:07 (four years ago) link
a = I
I'm on the first day of a cold today. Can't wait to see how long it'll last, and how much all my bones will ache while it's here.
― shared unit of analysis (unperson), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 01:30 (four years ago) link
We spent 45 years together, my left ACL and I. Too bad about that poorly executed dismount from that (not even very tall!) horse.
RIP ACL, in more ways than one.
I'll miss you along with your buddy, intact meniscus.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 01:36 (four years ago) link
ouch!
reminds me, I can't remember what thread it was posted in but I hope ulysses' shoulder surgery recovery is going ok
― Dan S, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 01:49 (four years ago) link
crutches are implements of the devil
― fremmes with neppavenettes (rip van wanko), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 01:51 (four years ago) link
^^^this. So much more difficult than I thought they would be, and now my shoulder and wrist hurt more than my knee!
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 02:09 (four years ago) link
thanks dan! It's two weeks post surgery and i went to my first live show with a friend in full cast-and-brace drag. Not dead yet motherfuckers!shit still hurts a lot though and i can't really use my arm yet for more than typing. prognosis is a month to lose the cast and maybe three to six to start to not hurt anymore after physical therapy?sorry about your acl quincie, that sounds terrible! i understand your crutch pain; the sling is just about breaking my neck!
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 04:36 (four years ago) link
cast and sling at a show - what a hero! that’s some dedication. i hope the rehab time is not too painful. for a week after I broke my shoulder i had the old fashioned round the neck triangle sling .... fuuuuck that, it was like carrying a fkn millstone. now in the newfangled sling (hopefully only a few more days, then 2 months of physio) - new sling is for sure better, but it still gets exhausting carrying your own arm’s dead weight esp in summer. last thing i want to do is put on my messenger-style crossbody bag for work now, I’m already carrying plenty ugh
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 04:45 (four years ago) link
in some ways the worst part of shoulder surgery recovery for me was feeling that I couldn't wash myself properly, not being able to use one arm
the whole process felt like it went by quickly though, thinking back on it
― Dan S, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 04:49 (four years ago) link
er sorry not "Cast"... sling and brace! luckily no cast for me. Slings do COMPLETELY suck though. I'm not looking forward to PT. Also: not carrying a backpack in new york is like leaving home without pants. what the fuck am i supposed to do without a water bottle in this city?
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 05:00 (four years ago) link
xp to dan: i washed my right armpit with my left arm today and it felt like a tangible if small victory
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 05:01 (four years ago) link
lol I remember that experience
― Dan S, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 05:06 (four years ago) link
health & healing, forkson sneezing: broke a couple of ribs earlier this year, & for months had to stand and brace myself against a doorframe if I felt a sneeze coming on
― now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 05:43 (four years ago) link
As of July I'm the right age to join this thread, but uh, looks a bit grim? I mean I already have arthritis and WPW syndrome, what other wonders will the decade have in store?
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 05:51 (four years ago) link
you 40-something year olds should just revel in the fact that you're still sweet babies
― Dan S, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 06:04 (four years ago) link
I do!
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 06:05 (four years ago) link
on here, yes! but at work most of the people I encounter are 17-23 y/o and I am some sort of creature from before the dawn of time.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 06:12 (four years ago) link
you are at the best age seriously
― Dan S, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 06:23 (four years ago) link
I was at a bat mitzvah party at the w/e and I couldn't: a) dance, bcs the music was aimed at 13 y/o girls and I didnt know any of the tunes, or b) talk to people, bcs I can't hear what they're saying in that atmosphere. So I end up sitting alone with a drink, which is fine by me, but looks rather rude. Or as if I'm having a terrible time.
― fetter, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 07:06 (four years ago) link
so i might have nerve damage to my left foot which is fun
aside from my body falling apart my '40s are fucking fantastic, best time of my life
― sock fingering, baby (rushomancy), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 00:26 (four years ago) link
It's been a year for me for sure. More annoying random pains, then there was the bilateral hernia surgery, some physical therapy starting next week, a sleep study in a month's time...none of it really surprising but truly, I'm not young anymore. 18 months to 50!
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 02:05 (four years ago) link
"Ric Ocasek was 75? Damn! That must mean, what, he was 50 when Heartbeat City came out? That can't be right?"
"1984 was 35 years ago."
...
"Damn!"
― pplains, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 03:01 (four years ago) link
;_;
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 03:04 (four years ago) link
yup. got my 35th wedding anniversary coming up in a few weeks. it tallies.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 03:17 (four years ago) link
well i say fuck it, let's put this plane in reverse
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 03:18 (four years ago) link
(places seat back in fully upright position, fastens belt, grits teeth)
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 03:39 (four years ago) link
which means next year we will be as far in the future of 1984, as 1984 was to 1948.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 04:05 (four years ago) link
We can talk about "the Twenties" next year too, ugh.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 04:57 (four years ago) link
40 next year. I know.
― frame casual (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 10:30 (four years ago) link
I felt like I was dying yesterday after a bad combination of foods/ales/wine/brandy/prescription drugs. I was a sweaty mess and passing blood and having ocular migraines. When people say hangovers become much deathly feeling in your 40's they aren't kidding. The worst thing is I didn't even get massively pissed, just slightly overdid it. Feel so much better today and not taking my good health for granted - have already walked 3.5 miles and am pledging to stay within my tried + tested lol safe limits on boozing in future.
― calzino, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 10:39 (four years ago) link
starting to think this fabled “crazy old man strength” isn’t a thing
― A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Chooglin (will), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 12:10 (four years ago) link
Maybe it kicks in once you hit your 70s. Gotta keep the dream alive.
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 12:12 (four years ago) link
i turned 40 this yearthe crazy thing to me is that since i started dating my wife in college, we've now been together more than half of my life. i've been with her longer than i've not been with her. that's nuts
― na (NA), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:01 (four years ago) link
My neck has gotten crunchy.
My spouse and I also talk about how we've now been together more than half of my life.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:04 (four years ago) link
i have various middle-aged physical ailments but what gets to me more is feeling my attitudes changing as i get older. feeling more hopeless/pessimistic, more "things used to be better" thoughts, etc. but at the same time things are really shitty right now in a lot of ways so maybe that's not so much aging as it is modern existence.
― na (NA), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:06 (four years ago) link
my back's been in a bad way for most of 2019, I hurt it in November last year somehow and it would get better after a few weeks then I'd hurt it again randomly and so on and so on. I think a combination of: being an ILXor in his forties, being tall, working from home for the last 3 years so much more sedentary, learning to drive (all that leaning to see round corners did not help)
I started going swimming at the end of July and it has done wonders for it. I thought I'd fucked it again on Monday but it was just that day then it was better again. since I started swimming most of the muscles in my body have been complaining one after the other, last week it was my calf, but I think it's good muscle pain (at least I hope so) from actually using muscles for the first time in ages
the rest of my life is relentless misery as documented in detail elsewhere
― Colonel Poo, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:28 (four years ago) link
Lol I'm 44 but accidentally told my daughter I was 45. When I corrected myself she told me she thought I was 43.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:31 (four years ago) link
I have a small memory of briefly meeting NA and his wife with my spouse (calculating) 16 years ago. xpost
― Yerac, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:36 (four years ago) link
was that at the hungry brain
― na (NA), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:43 (four years ago) link
it was at some bar in nyc where I feel like we were all seated in a self help group circle for some reason.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:54 (four years ago) link
oh i see. that trip is kind of a blur
― na (NA), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:55 (four years ago) link
41 here. My neck has been crunchy as long as I can remember!
I've had numerous consultations about hip arthroscopy for a torn labrum, debating whether to go through with it or just continue dealing with the same mild to moderate pain. Reading this thread (and hearing surgeons say I wouldn't fully recover for 5-6 months) is helping me lean toward not doing it. I feel fairly stupid because I've vacillated on it so much — the surgery was first recommended to me more than two years ago. It's supposed to be better to do it earlier because you'll recover faster, and I'm paying for health insurance that will cover it. But the thought of doing it when I don't have employment lined up, and when I have to move within a few months, scares me. Meanwhile I'm just hoping the issue doesn't get worse — conditions on the ground in winter tend to increase discomfort, but overall it's been more or less the same for about three years. Except that the other hip has started having its own, undiagnosed issues....
I should probably try swimming..... I never mastered the breathing thing with swimming, so I would probably benefit from a lesson or two. Used to run a lot but have not-quite given up; happily, cycling still is more or less fine.
― eatandoph (Neue Jesse Schule), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 15:57 (four years ago) link
i'm in week two of recovery for that torn labrum surgery and not near better but will post here with some updates. First two weeks of post surgery recovery have been a real bear but the doc said afterward that it was real good i did it because the labrum was worse than the MRI showed, they needed to rotator cuff fixes, some of the capsules in the arm were burst, bone deterioration, additional adjacent tears, arthritis, the whole magilla.
post surgery (of course) now i'm seeing 8 zillion stories when googling about how this is an often overprescribed surgery but we'll see. as of today, i'm continuing to improve daily with range of motion and control. Slept without a sling last night for the first time and only woke up twice, which is about on par with my pre-surgery pain. hoping to see improvement soon and possibly start jogging again in early october.
I would DEFINITELY wait till you're covered by insurance though in any case; I think this ran about 50k and that's before rehab.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:05 (four years ago) link
it was at some bar in nyc where I feel like we were all seated in a self help group circle for some reason.― Yerac, Wednesday, September 18, 2019 8:54 AM (twenty-two minutes ago)oh i see. that trip is kind of a blur― na (NA), Wednesday, September 18, 2019 8:55 AM (twenty-two minutes ago)
― Yerac, Wednesday, September 18, 2019 8:54 AM (twenty-two minutes ago)
― na (NA), Wednesday, September 18, 2019 8:55 AM (twenty-two minutes ago)
FAPs of old. (It was the 2003 July 4th weekend get-together IIRC.)
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:18 (four years ago) link
41 and no real aches or pains to speak of yet, but I do find myself getting winded a lot more easily these days.
― Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:20 (four years ago) link
I am relatively healthy at 46 but I REALLY need to start exercising before everything falls apart
― brigadier pudding (DJP), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:25 (four years ago) link
41 too. I loathe "exercising" but I hike or hoop nearly every day. Since I started doing that, back pains went away, ankles have gotten stronger & pain-free, long-term mood has improved, Crohn's signs and symptoms have disappeared (thank u solar vitamin D), stamina has soared (I never had ANY...now I outlast the 20 somethings at open gym full court bball runs), I can leap higher than I could when I was 20. I think it's a mistake to view yourself as "old" and accept new aches and pains as the new normal. Sorry if that's condescending, but I see ppl I know and love fall into that trap.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:34 (four years ago) link
i must say the encroaching fall terrifies me a bit more each year with its lack of sunlight/oncoming cold/end of life
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:38 (four years ago) link
I loathe "exercising" but I hike or hoop nearly every day.
People who have figured out how to live.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:39 (four years ago) link
ulysses, would you/could you ever move somewhere warmer & sunnier? did wonders for me
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:44 (four years ago) link
A few years ago I stopped dancing semi-professionally and having regular grueling practices, and my hold-over fitness lasted for a while. But I've now reached an age where if I don't do regular stretching/strength training, all my muscles contract from stress and under-use and I curl into a stiff ball that can barely walk-slash-walks with that old person hobble. It's shameful.
I might be driven to actual *gasp* yoga. Which I don't even like.
― There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:45 (four years ago) link
Drinking has no outsized effect--I'm a little bleary in the AM but I also never get enough sleep so it's a tossup as to the root cause.
― There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:46 (four years ago) link
GD: I sometimes think i made a bad tactical error in setting up grown-up shop on the east coast; I can't really relocate without starting a new career but ***NEW YORK WINTERS SUCK*** and tend to go on forever.I have a lot of tactics to cope with this and they shift with the extremes of the weather and my well being. my hope is that my rehab this year should hopefully lead back to the jogging/yoga one-two punch that has worked in the past to keep me from falling on my sword.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:49 (four years ago) link
Are there any winter outdoor activities you can do? The last winter I lived in IL, I bought cross country skis. Had only tried that once, as a kid. Yeah, my one ankle could not provide enough support to balance me on the skinny ski, so there went my shot at a winter outdoor activity.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 16:57 (four years ago) link
Skating is always a good one, but wear thick socks and have skates with strong ankle support. One good winter sport I spent lots of time doing as a kid/teen, because we had outdoor rinks in the winter and a staffed warming house.
― coup de twat (suzy), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 17:23 (four years ago) link
I've have bad osteoarthritis in my knees since I was in my early 20s so I always try to make sure to do some sort of daily exercise. Even stuff like plyo doesn't bother them if I'm the right shape. The last couple of years I've been rowing every single day. I love it.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 17:29 (four years ago) link
ice skating is not a bad idea though yeah, I gotta watch the ankles. I'm near a big public park/ice skating rink so my fallback is generally jogging but there are certainly times when that's not the wisest move. i was into climbing for a hot minute but that's how i fucked up my shoulder to the point of surgery! apparently what i thought was a stinger was subluxation, ie i dislocated it and then it popped back in and tore stuff going both ways.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 17:40 (four years ago) link
I'm 45, wife is 43, we started dating when we were 20/18 so we past the half our lives marker a while ago. But this summer we realized my wife is older now than her mother was when we started dating and that sort of weirded everyone out. She seemed so old and mom-like to me back then.
― joygoat, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 17:46 (four years ago) link
Oh ugh yep all the "wait I'm now older than parents were/famous ppl were" is one of the few times I actually feel old.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 17:57 (four years ago) link
But I do think prior generations DID look and behave "older" than our gen does
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 17:58 (four years ago) link
yeah my dad and mom were already acting like their life was over when they were my age. I aim to never be like that.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:03 (four years ago) link
At 44, I'm desperately clinging to my perceived youthfulness despite being a physical wreck.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:08 (four years ago) link
I'm 46 next month and considering I have 3 year old and 3 month old daughters I don't feel too bad. The agony of getting up after crouching or kneeling on the floor is probably the worst. It doesn't help that last year I went from a 20 minutes each way bike commute to working from home - I don't miss the office or the time lost but I do miss the exercise. Have bought a turbo trainer in a hopefully not vain attempt to make up for it.
― The Pingularity (ledge), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:45 (four years ago) link
Not seen this thread before and just had a merry time reading it all.
44, bald, 2 kids (11 & 13. Affectionately known as the idiot squad, but not *that* affectionately). I used to have long hair but got lupus in my mid-20s and it started falling out in patches. Hid it for a while and eventually hacked it off and haven't really given it a second thought. Back is pretty fucked, but I swim and walk a lot; have recently started planking which is definitely making a difference. Had a midlife crisis about 5 years and started teaching: English, 11-16 yr olds. It's fucking mental and they're merciless with the baldness but that's OK*. Today: 'Sir, when you wash your face how do you know when to stop?'. Cheeky bugger. (*at least I think it is. Do I legitimise other forms of teasing by being so easy with it?)
― Life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering...save string (Chinaski), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:48 (four years ago) link
"have recently started planking which is definitely making a difference"
fnarr! apologies for being the insolent snickering little 45 yr old shit at the back of the class!
― calzino, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:54 (four years ago) link
Hehehe. See me at the end, baldy!
― Life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering...save string (Chinaski), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:57 (four years ago) link
Mm. Definitely partially a change in societal expectation but also the fact that drinking/smoking/etc went down a lot in terms of literal physical appearance being affected, I'd argue. My parents (neither smokers, only mild drinkers at most) long since reached 'old' status as they're now in their mid-late seventies, but honestly they only started seeming that way to me...maybe ten years ago?
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 18:59 (four years ago) link
Also...the accuracy
https://twitter.com/kris10felicetti/status/1174395124270411776
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:03 (four years ago) link
Trying that again:
I am "I need to see the set times posted" years old— Kristen Felicetti (@kris10felicetti) September 18, 2019
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:05 (four years ago) link
I am constantly (generally for the standard peri-menopause, menopause, weight, arthritis, cancer stuff) trying to remember what my mom was like when she was my age -- and coming up with, oh yeah, that was 1990, when I was a depressed, sullen, angry teenager and I hated her (because I hated everyone) so I really remember very little because I was so self-absorbed.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:10 (four years ago) link
also the fact that drinking/smoking/etc went down a lot in terms of literal physical appearance being affected, I'd argue
Good point. Prob other environmental health factors at play. Better medicine for us, starting from birth. Lead & asbestos not as prevalent? We eat like shit as a whole, but we're all AWARE that we do. Vitamins and skin care routines are de rigeur.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:12 (four years ago) link
Definitely partially a change in societal expectation but also the fact that drinking/smoking/etc went down a lot in terms of literal physical appearance being affected, I'd argue.
idk - I'd argue that drinking and smoking are things I associate more with younger people than older people - at this point, culturally.
Fashion definitely has played a role, I think, more than these habits. If you look at the increasing similarities between youth and adult fashion?
Genetics still is probably the major factor -- my parents came from similar backgrounds, had similar habits, and when they were in their mid-late 40s (they were highschool sweethearts) - my mom was entirely gray haired and looked her age, and my dad's hair was still completely brown and people thought he was 10 years younger.
The big "whoa I'm old" moment for me came recently when I watched "When They See Us" on Netflix (about the Central Park 5) and realizing that those kids/men - were my age. Incarceration and trauma definitely has an effect on the physical appearance of aging ...
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:21 (four years ago) link
The big "whoa I'm old" moment for me came recently when I watched "When They See Us" on Netflix (about the Central Park 5) and realizing that those kids/men - were my age.
i had a similar reaction to watching that! not that i am old necessarily but it hitting like an anvil on the head that we were and therefore are all the same age. i remember writing a paper about them in high school, probably soon after they were arrested. the thing i remember most was the word "wilding". seeing them as adults made me emotional because they are my peers.
i felt a similar thump when a guy in my hs class died from complications related to chronic alcoholism. it had been so long since i had seen him that he had developed a drinking problem that was so bad that it killed him. that's a long time!!
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:41 (four years ago) link
yeah my dad and mom were already acting like their life was over when they were my age.
In a few weeks, I'll be as old as my mother was when my dad died.
― now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:47 (four years ago) link
i remember writing a paper about them in high school, probably soon after they were arrested. the thing i remember most was the word "wilding". seeing them as adults made me emotional because they are my peers.
It made me feel old because you see them as adults near the end of the series -- and they look fairly old -- and the series, along with so many others now (e.g. season 3 of Riverdale) shows that time as a "period piece" -- like, 1990 is "historical" ... that incident was definitely one of the reasons my mom forbade me from going to college in NYC -- mom logic being: if a nice white girl got raped and almost murdered there, then undoubtedly this will happen to you -- which I realize now was only a year later.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:50 (four years ago) link
45 here. Firstly I gave up drinking 17 years ago, which I think has been a major factor in not looking as old as my parents did at my age, despite neither of them being big drinkers. But the biggest difference by far is that I walk at least 3 miles a days and do other exercises as well (planking! I should try that again even though it's very hard). I know for certain that neither of my parents exercises at all in their mid 40s. I think that my father bought a tracksuit in the early 80s and went jogging literally twice, but that was it.
― just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:57 (four years ago) link
um, is the majority of ilx in their forties now? is it all over?
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 19:58 (four years ago) link
xp - i didn't think they looked old necessarily but knowing what they had been through had aged them in ways the eye both can and can't see made me want to know them better, to watch everything. after watching the ava du vernay series i watched everything else i could find with them speaking as adults -- an interview with oprah, the ken burns doc, anything -- just to see them over and over as adults. they remind me of people i know irl.
um, is the majority of ilx in their forties now? is it all over?two separate questions! :) what is "it"?
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:00 (four years ago) link
um, is the majority of ilx in their forties now?
nah, pretty sure majority is in their 30s but a significant number are in their late 30s
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:05 (four years ago) link
shows that time as a "period piece" -- like, 1990 is "historical"
I will never be able to wrap my head around the fact that the 60s are the same temporal distance from me as a kid as the 90s are to kids now. The 50s were only 30 years before my childhood in the 80s. Now the 80s are basically MORE than 30 yrs ago to kids! The 50s seemed sooooooo ancient to me as a kid. 50s/60s were relatively recent to my parents; "oh yeah the 50s, when I was in high school...good times...that don't seem all that long ago".
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:20 (four years ago) link
How old are you as of Jan 09, 2008?
you can take this and add 11 years i guess? though there's no way there's that many people on here anymore
― na (NA), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:22 (four years ago) link
I have lived my life measured in ILE posts
― | (Latham Green), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:22 (four years ago) link
xp - there are also new people tho
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:34 (four years ago) link
are there
― na (NA), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 20:39 (four years ago) link
xp to lachera: it's it!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG_k5CSYKhg
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 21:26 (four years ago) link
BTW Mike Patton is 51!
i didn't start posting until 2009 (maybe late 2008) -- there are posters newer than me so ...yeah dude
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 21:41 (four years ago) link
weird how my health is probably the best it’s been in decades. i hardly ever get colds any more, my back/neck/foot pain issues have receded. the only major issues are things like hair loss, minor hearing loss/noise (which will happen when you abuse your ears) and one of my eyeballs apparently starting to fall apart.recently a doctor gave me a gentle cholesterol warning, so that (combined with new confidence associated with starting to come out socially) has given me incentive to make some changes: lost around 7 kg, bought a more interesting wardrobe, just generally far more confident and positive about life. i’ve been getting compliments from randos, and some guy on a tram hit on me the other day. stuff i never thought would be in prospect in my mid-40s.
― times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 21:46 (four years ago) link
Ha I hear that, AA
― brigadier pudding (DJP), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 23:54 (four years ago) link
one of my eyeballs apparently starting to fall apartJoe Biden?
― now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Thursday, 19 September 2019 00:28 (four years ago) link
I'm in reasonable health but my physical fitness/strength is FUCKED. Years of a sedentary job and bad knees/ankles and not wearing orthotics and not exercising much and now I am struggling to use stairs, get into/out of bathtubs, get up off the floor if I kneel, etc. I'm currently doing some very focussed physio exercises to try and bring things back to normal but I almost feel like I need a cane, and I am not even 50 yet.
USE IT OR LOSE IT YO :|
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 19 September 2019 01:10 (four years ago) link
I hear you on that. I tiled my bathroom floor today and used up approximately 110% of my energy and probably can’t get out of my glider/chair now. Been nice knowing you all.
― Manitobiloba (Kim), Thursday, 19 September 2019 01:20 (four years ago) link
that’s one of the many reasons i use a standing desk, walk around the office like 20 times a day, get off the tram earlier &c. don’t want my vital bits seizing up just yet.
― times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 19 September 2019 01:51 (four years ago) link
Ever since I moved to SF in 2015 I've had the real luck of being able to easily walk to and from work each day -- and I'm duly grateful.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 September 2019 02:06 (four years ago) link
The second half of my forties has been an amazing mix - marriage breakdown, going from decent physical shape to pretty nasty back problems, massively better self-knowledge and self-understanding, wonderful new partner who's here for the long haul, absolute best sex of my entire life, very positive changes in friendships, got into new types of music, feel hugely more positive about the future, great relationships with my kids. Many of these things are interrelated of course. Despite many difficulties I feel so much better off than I was at 44. Compared to 40? not so clear an improvement, but I am glad that the way things were headed then, are not how they are now. And I'm looking forward to my 50s.Oh and speaking as a guy who thought he was in pretty decent shape without needing to be fussy about exercise - please, everyone, find ways to keep up your core strength. I compensated more and more for a weak back and bad posture as time went on, and now it's a crippled mess.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 19 September 2019 02:30 (four years ago) link
yes agree about core strength
xp I love walking in SF. I used to have to drive miles to work every day, but now it's nice to be able to walk everywhere I want to go
― Dan S, Thursday, 19 September 2019 02:34 (four years ago) link
happy to hear you have had those experiences MatthewK
― Dan S, Thursday, 19 September 2019 02:42 (four years ago) link
I used to have limits for how far I thought I could walk, but my range over time has really expanded
― Dan S, Thursday, 19 September 2019 02:49 (four years ago) link
I’ll be 50 next summer. My forties have been so bad that I don’t even dread turning 50. Kind of looking forward to it almost. There’s no inherent magic to numbers divisible by ten but who knows.
― valet doberman (Jon not Jon), Thursday, 19 September 2019 12:12 (four years ago) link
I'm 45. Yesterday I taught my first class of students who are the same year as my (oldest) daughter. It's a little weird!
― L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 19 September 2019 12:18 (four years ago) link
Contrarian Dickhead Fite! [Started by Darin in September 2019, last updated fifty-six seconds ago by YouGov to see it (wins) on I Love Music] 6 new answers POLL closes: September 20 (in 11 hours)This is the inevitable thread for ILxors in their forties [Started by Marcello Carlin in August 2008, last updated forty-eight seconds ago by L'assie (Euler) on I Love Everything] 103 new answers
― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 September 2019 12:22 (four years ago) link
Oops... that was for the Thread Connections thread.
― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 September 2019 12:23 (four years ago) link
The second half of my forties has been an amazing mix - marriage breakdown, going from decent physical shape to pretty nasty back problems, massively better self-knowledge and self-understanding, wonderful new partner who's here for the long haul, absolute best sex of my entire life, very positive changes in friendships, got into new types of music, feel hugely more positive about the future, great relationships with my kids. Many of these things are interrelated of course.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK)
i hear people talking about how "the millennials aren't having as much sex and the sex they are having is terrible!" and i don't know i always took having an unsatisfying or barely satisfying sex life as being endemic? but i guess it's different because a lot of it for me has been a function of being in a long-term relationship. i don't want to talk about certain things because they're pretty private and because also, you know, people don't necessarily want to hear the gory details (or else think that talking about sex is necessarily a form of flirting, which is pretty uncomfortable in its own way), but not talking about things is a pretty good recipe for unsatisfying sex... talking within the relationship is best, sure, but people in a relationship still exists as individuals with individual desires, and the buildup of emotional baggage in a relationship is a pretty big barrier to just awkwardly blurting shit out without forethought.
main change in my knees is that since i've started bending them properly i have way more crepitus and it's kind of embarrassing.
― sock fingering, baby (rushomancy), Thursday, 19 September 2019 13:43 (four years ago) link
I moved to a big city when I turned forty and haven't had a car since, and the stair climbing that come along with reliance on public transportation have been a pretty good way to keep my knees in good condition.
― L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 19 September 2019 14:57 (four years ago) link
xpost-ish When I was in San Francisco last summer I commented to my wife about how many people I saw walking with canes.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 19 September 2019 15:04 (four years ago) link
Probably more for the Over 50s (maybe?) in this thing but any empty nesters? Thoughts, expectations, disappointments, sudden onsets of regret at things unsaid, advice not given...asking for a friend.
― Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 19 September 2019 15:18 (four years ago) link
my youngest is 14 & I'm dreading the point when they're all moved out. my kids are my best friends (not including my partner here).
― L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 19 September 2019 15:22 (four years ago) link
this week my older daughter (17 in October) started making legit plans to visit colleges and my heart went in my throat. She had to snap me back to attention.
I do worry abt my mental health when this happens...wondering if it might be wise for me to move, too—I don't mean to be nearer to them, but moving my life somewhere else for a major change
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 19 September 2019 21:25 (four years ago) link
I turned 40 a couple weeks ago. About three years ago I really started to notice that "my body just doesn't want to exercise any more, and when I do exercise, my body doesn't really respond the way it used to". Other than that I feel no difference between now and before. I don't have any illusions toward fatherhood, as I once did, and as a result I feel a significant increase of dread about my distance future as an actual oldster. I'm actually going to be 60 and alone! I hope my brothers (all straight, all married, lots of nieces and nephews) still care enough about me to take me in or live nearby when I get to that age.
― fgti (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, 19 September 2019 22:46 (four years ago) link
I don't have any illusions toward fatherhood, as I once did, and as a result I feel a significant increase of dread about my distance future as an actual oldster
I feel this - I'm 40.5 now - but the other way around? It's hugely liberating for me to know I won't have kids, for a thousand reasons. Thinking of "who will take care of me" just isn't on my mind, like at all. But then I cannot fathom myself being 60 either. Likely because there's this slumbering thought that I won't even make it to 60, but mostly I wouldn't want to be a burden on anyone, let alone my own children! Now that there won't be any of the latter, that's one thing less to worry about.
You'll never be alone, not at 60, nor 80. Believe.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 19 September 2019 22:59 (four years ago) link
wanna bet
― mookieproof, Thursday, 19 September 2019 23:03 (four years ago) link
i wouldn't be as worried about being taken care of / taking care of myself in my advanced years if the boomers etc etc hadn't made my prime earning years a desolate wasteland
― j., Thursday, 19 September 2019 23:05 (four years ago) link
I’ll pass... But I don’t think people in general (and fgti in this particular instance) will be left to their own devices. Children aren’t (and imo shouldn’t even be in the first place) the only ‘safety net’ around in the latter stages.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 19 September 2019 23:08 (four years ago) link
This is getting too grimLet’s reel it in folks I’m not trying to spend my remaining good years thinking about how no one will take care of me when I’m old. Need to be able to enjoy today and all that.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 19 September 2019 23:26 (four years ago) link
dammit i was trying to finagle an invitation to holland when i turn 60
― mookieproof, Thursday, 19 September 2019 23:36 (four years ago) link
Well, I spent most of my 30s missing the constant social buzz of my 20s— posting here largely as a response to that feeling of loneliness— but that loneliness has dissipated, even as my average number of weekly social engagements continues to wane. (My friends still say I throw the best parties, which is nice to hear.)
I think I’m enjoying being alone more and more as I get older, which is convenient. Even in my relationship, I adore the dude but wouldn’t feel terribly hurt if he decided to leave tomorrow. Self-sufficiency is a rewarding feeling.
One thing that childlessness does offer is that there’s no chance one or more of my kids will disown me. I would imagine that’s one of the most awful things a person could experience. (One of my siblings disowned my father and all it did was make my father obsessed with reconnecting, some 22 years of obsession)
― fgti (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, 19 September 2019 23:40 (four years ago) link
Keep trying! Idk why but I thought you were older than I am LBI??
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 19 September 2019 23:44 (four years ago) link
I still harbour strong illusions of fatherhood, but as my mom told my husband and I a few months ago when the subject came up, "you're getting awfully long in the tooth" (not meant as discouragement; she was just correctly pointing out how much less energy one has for things like raising children as one ages). Mostly it is an issue of getting into a stable place financially before that can happen; I'm working on it but really feeling like I'm running out of time.
― Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:06 (four years ago) link
I became a parent at 41, it's totally doable/possible
― brigadier pudding (DJP), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:15 (four years ago) link
My impression was that the Boomers, a lot of them, had this romantic impression that their kids would love them for the heroes they were and want to be around them forever and take care of them when they got old, and a lot of the people I know don't talk to their Boomer parents. Probably they're wondering how we all turned out so rotten. There's no shortage of things they don't get. The kids today, you know, a lot of them can't tell the difference between me and a Boomer, which is my own fault for spending all that time listening to Pink Floyd probably. Are they going to take care of me when I get older? I mean, shit, they're taking care of me _now_.
Something I wonder about a lot - I don't feel guilt about it, but I wonder about it - was how our generation got the trans thing so wrong. There were real opportunities back then that we didn't take because most of us weren't even close to understanding how it was, and the ones who did understand, I don't know. We didn't or couldn't listen, most of us. The younger generations - not my own kids, I don't have any - but the younger generations aren't going to pay my hospital bills, because they don't have any money to pay my hospital bills with, but in some ways they're better at being kind than I was. Good enough.
― sock fingering, baby (rushomancy), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:35 (four years ago) link
tbh I've loved my forties! I know who I want to be and how to project it, am fitter, and have almost reached career goals insofar as they've mattered. Bachelorhood is my destiny, which doesn't stop me from thinking it'd be nice to take care of a guy when I'm older.
I do worry about the planet I'm leaving my nieces and godchild, but I'm no different than any previous generation.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:41 (four years ago) link
I love that this thread can be a home for me for *checks watch* a little more than six more years
― Lactose Shaolin Wanker (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:43 (four years ago) link
which is my own fault for spending all that time listening to Pink Floyd probably
hush
― mookieproof, Friday, 20 September 2019 01:45 (four years ago) link
lol
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:47 (four years ago) link
I'm 42.
I can *definitely* feel my age more and more, some of that's health related stuff that medication is sorting out. Kind of a weird place to be - both having the sense of youth having raced away from me when I somehow wasn't paying serious attention but also realizing that there's a lot of beauty and joy in aspects of life that I didn't quite comprehend at, say, 20 or even 30.
― Lactose Shaolin Wanker (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:51 (four years ago) link
Someone up thread was advising about building core strength - this is one of my biggest goals over the next year or so. I go to the gym sometimes, and walk a *lot* but need to buckle down harder.
― Lactose Shaolin Wanker (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:52 (four years ago) link
tbh I've loved my forties! I know who I want to be and how to project itoh i can hum a few bars of this, especially the past few months. so happy for you btw.
― times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:52 (four years ago) link
All this stuff about being alone / single when in senior years is a lot of worry about nothing. We have no idea what we’ll be like by then. Anecdotal yes, but I’ve seen enough sweet and care-free relationships between elders not to worry too much about that. Making relationships work is something most people get better at with age.
― beard papa, Friday, 20 September 2019 01:53 (four years ago) link
Kids, not going to happen at this point for me -- I never ruled out being a stepdad at some point if I'd fallen for someone who had kids already, but that's turned out not to be the case and we're both happy as we are, so. No regrets, and I have (unofficially, I guess) nieces and nephews, so that will do for me.
Larger societal/planetary worries, sure I got 'em. But working constantly with folks in their early twenties, more recently thanks to all the various pre-med students who volunteer at the hospital under a program I oversee, means I'm always getting to know people with a certain drive and friendliness, and that's certainly reassuring.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 20 September 2019 01:56 (four years ago) link
The scariest thing about the notion of singledom at this age is the thought of marrying out of desperation and loneliness, just settling. Recently though it's occurred to me that I'm good with a) never marrying again and b) never living with anyone again, unless my son wants to move across the country and move in with me at some point.
― Lactose Shaolin Wanker (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 20 September 2019 01:58 (four years ago) link
my main concern is whether age will ever compel ned to cut his hair
― mookieproof, Friday, 20 September 2019 01:59 (four years ago) link
as we wither he only gains in strength and luxuriousness
― j., Friday, 20 September 2019 02:06 (four years ago) link
Boomer parents. Probably they're wondering how we all turned out so rotten.
All my nieces and nephews (and their spouses) are spread through their mid-30s to mid-40s and I think they are amazingly good, loving, thoughtful and firmly-grounded people. Which is not to say perfect, or anything like it, but they are good in the basic ways that flawed human beings can achieve by working at it.
― A is for (Aimless), Friday, 20 September 2019 02:10 (four years ago) link
xpost -- My standing rule of thumb is that if my hairline ever started to retreat or my hair thinned out I would cut it. Neither has happened and I suspect neither will at this point, content to let it all slowly go grey as it does.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 20 September 2019 02:10 (four years ago) link
The best way to die is to feel my chin nodding against my chin as I'm reading Wallace Stevens' late poems, assuming it's the onset of a cat nap, and closing my eyes.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 20 September 2019 02:11 (four years ago) link
my chin nodding against my chin
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Friday, 20 September 2019 02:55 (four years ago) link
i like the idea of nodding off to Wallace Steven poems
― Dan S, Friday, 20 September 2019 02:57 (four years ago) link
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, September 20, 2019 1:44 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
No idea! My displayed wisdom Wdyll's in which I look really old? :-/
― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 20 September 2019 07:44 (four years ago) link
I'm actually going to be 60 and alone! Dropping in from the fifties thread to say I am racing to 60 and alone myself and it’s great! I’m not planning to need someone to “take me in” at 60 - I’ll still be working and hopefully still to enjoy a good retirement. It took me until my 40s to be unapologetically alone and enjoy life and not confirm with societal pressures to pair up. As a result,I often feel I’m still playing catch up with things that people had the confidence to do much earlias a couple (travel, interior design, socialising, fashion etc). But there’s a lot of fun in discovering and experimenting with things now - and not being jaded.
― Luna Schlosser, Friday, 20 September 2019 08:53 (four years ago) link
That is so good to hear! Considering that I've spent most of my adult life rather... dependent upon romantic and social activity, and I'm more recently starting to feel more comfortable in solitude (even as my romantic and social life are still relatively rich). I've been feeling more optimistic about All Possible Futures. Especially one where Ned has very long grey hair
Re: children after 40, I'm not knocking it. My father was 42 when he... fathered me, and I have many younger siblings on his side, as well. I just have lost the enthusiasm I had about it when I was in my 20s and 30s. My bf wants kids. It's weird thinking about it. First, there's the solicitation of a surrogate, which feels slimy to me. Or, the long process of adoption. Even just thinking about the race of the child is difficult-- my bf does not want to raise a non-black child. I have no preference toward the race of my children.
Ah fuck it, I'll type it... the reason I've kind of "gone off" of the prospect of being the drummer for Gay Dad is largely the result of hearing these romantic sloppy origin stories of so many of my straight parent friends. Having children feels like the product of romance, because it is. It's less appealing to me that my children might be the product of administration. This is not to criticize or judge parents of adopted children, of course-- one such parent himself even told me that the administrative process, although extremely worth it in the end, was hell.
― fgti (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, 20 September 2019 12:31 (four years ago) link
I was walking my dog this morning and I thought "dog is a man's best friend", and all the implications of this adage started to suddenly revealed themselves
I do love my dog, though
― fgti (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, 20 September 2019 12:33 (four years ago) link
The adoption process IS hell and I'm very glad I did it.
― brigadier pudding (DJP), Friday, 20 September 2019 12:38 (four years ago) link
Xp. Wait, there's a fifties thread?
― Ned Trifle X, Friday, 20 September 2019 12:49 (four years ago) link
Yeah, but it’s hard to find.
― Our Borad Could Be Your Trife (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 20 September 2019 12:51 (four years ago) link
Especially if you are in your fifties.
But I managed to find it again by searching upthread for a prior link. This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's
― Our Borad Could Be Your Trife (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 20 September 2019 12:57 (four years ago) link
Y'all ever do that thing where you think, "Well if I was the 20th Century, WWII would be just about over."
Used to wonder when my age and the numeric place of the president would synch up and goddammit.
― pplains, Friday, 20 September 2019 13:25 (four years ago) link
I have exactly 67 days left in my forties. My grandfather was this age when I was born. I feel ways about that.
― I don't get wet because I am tall and thin and I am afraid of people (Eliza D.), Friday, 20 September 2019 14:40 (four years ago) link
I always compare myself to musicians or actors who I thought were old when I was young but who were younger then than I am now.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 20 September 2019 14:46 (four years ago) link
― pplains, Friday, September 20, 2019 6:25 AM (one hour ago)
hahah same here, omg that's depressing -- can we go back to talking about dying alone?
― sarahell, Friday, 20 September 2019 15:25 (four years ago) link
unless the current president is uh, removed from office, in the next approximately 40 days
― sarahell, Friday, 20 September 2019 15:27 (four years ago) link
My mom tries to manipulate me into having kids by constantly asking if I am scared to die alone. And I always say "evERYONE DIES aLoNe!" And then she tells me how old my imaginary kids would be if I had them when my spouse and I started dating. And then she says tells me to never have kids because they ruin your life. We have this routine down pat.
― Yerac, Friday, 20 September 2019 15:43 (four years ago) link
it's true though, the more ppl you make the more you have to part with when you, yes, die alone
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 20 September 2019 15:45 (four years ago) link
this is a fun thread :-/
I've been 40 for about 2.5 months now, and I am overwhelmed by how much I have to look forward to.
― Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 20 September 2019 15:53 (four years ago) link
i mean, it feels like there are enough people out there that if you're scared of dying alone at seventy you can probably find somebody else who's scared of dying alone at seventy? And if you're cool with octogenarians you can aim higher? I sense this problem will be ""solved"" by an app. Perhaps someone would like to fund my LYFPARDNER kickstarter?
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 20 September 2019 15:58 (four years ago) link
OK Curtains
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 20 September 2019 16:01 (four years ago) link
Reapr, surely
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 20 September 2019 16:06 (four years ago) link
All this stuff about being alone / single when in senior years is a lot of worry about nothing. We have no idea what we’ll be like by then.
Yup. Worry in general is not just useless but counterproductive. Obv we humans are predisposed to do it, and it can be very tough to break free from it. I used to worry about "who'll take care of me when I'm old??", but I have an odd way of squashing that and getting comfort: if things get really bleak, I'll just kill myself. Problem solved! I'm not joking. I'd have had a good run, if things go downhill and there's no possibility they'll turn around, adios johnny bravo. I think that way about other things too. "What if my Crohn's gets a lot worse and I'm in constant pain? Eh just leave the mortal coil, pain is gone. I'm not suicidal or depressed in the least. To me, it's just being logical/practical. So much grief is caused by stressing about possible hardships or pains or losses. Idk that was a big weight of my mind.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 20 September 2019 16:06 (four years ago) link
xp Your Million Dollar Idea for Today
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 20 September 2019 16:07 (four years ago) link
Especially one where Ned has very long grey hair
If I can rock David Sylvian's current look somehow (minus the beard) I'll be content.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 20 September 2019 16:07 (four years ago) link
I had a vasectomy a few weeks ago, and realised, as I was were waiting in the room beforehand with my wife, after seeing the doctor but before the anaesthetist, that this was the first and best of these occasions: waiting for something medical, but we know what it's for, we've chosen to come, and it'll make out lives better. The rest will suck more (but hopefully be a long while off)
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 20 September 2019 16:17 (four years ago) link
_Especially one where Ned has very long grey hair_If I can rock David Sylvian's current look somehow (minus the beard) I'll be content.
― Our Borad Could Be Your Trife (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 20 September 2019 17:50 (four years ago) link
Having kids has been the most remarkable, most difficult thing I've done. It's so close and totalising that it's impossible to articulate, really - a bit like trying to articulate homeostasis or something. I've either not had the chance to consider the alone/together dichotomy or they're not quite old enough for it to have entered my consciousness yet. The way things are going in the UK, they'll still be living at home by the time I do one, anyway.
As for the walking stuff discussed up thread, I'd be fucked without it. Now the kids are that bit older and I have a job with extended holidays, on top of day walks when I can, I've taken to long 2 or 3 day walks on my own. I'm doing the Pilgrim's Way in bits (halfway to Canterbury) and nearly finished the South Downs Way. I was walking the Quantocks last April, pursuing Coleridge, and there was a moment coming out of a mist into a view of the sea when I thought, well, my 40s might just be the best bit so far.
― Life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering...save string (Chinaski), Friday, 20 September 2019 17:56 (four years ago) link
ok i'm grudgingly inspired by that, chinaski
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 20 September 2019 19:17 (four years ago) link
I consider kids so transformative that I'm practically a different person. Or some sort of strange hybrid. That is, I could be the exact same person I was, but now I have kids, which makes me a totally different person, very close to the person I used to be and yet so utterly, completely linked to these other (increasingly older and more mature) people I helped create that current me is an entirely new fusion of identities and responsibilities. Because of that there's been a bit of a struggle with personal growth and change and whatnot over the years, but my pre-kids mentality is so distant and fading at this point that I'm OK recognizing my current self as probably the happiest and most content I have ever been, despite natural ups and doubts. No doubt in part because I can see in real time and over time the effect (direct and indirect) I have on my kids. It's like being a parallel voyager in some time travel movie, watching others grow up dramatically even as I grow more imperceptibly at the exact same rate.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 20 September 2019 19:30 (four years ago) link
I used to wonder about what year I'd die. Then I decided on the season. My birthday's in November, so in order to avoid everyone adding a year to my age when they do the math with the dates, I decided that it would have to be in December.
Eventually, I realized that I'll die on a Wednesday morning. Maybe a Thursday afternoon. Either way, it's going to be a day just like any other.
I don't expect my kids to take care of me. My grandmother lived nearly alone for the last ten years of her life, losing a little bit of her mental health. My dad would drive over there to the adjoining state every month, and just between us talking here, I think he sometimes made it worse.
I like my kids. Heck, I even love them. I hope to see them around when I'm older, but I don't particularly want my adult son helping me use the bathroom or anything.
― pplains, Saturday, 21 September 2019 00:18 (four years ago) link
many good posts :)
― Dan S, Saturday, 21 September 2019 00:23 (four years ago) link
I am 48, so on the tail end of this thread topic.
My body rebels from time to time, but nothing too serious so far.
While I have children and find them extremely engaging, I hope they have better plans than "taking care of me" as I age.
I have lots of parents and I don't "take care" of them. We've talked about it, and all agree that they will take care of themselves until they can't, then they will use their own fucking money to pay professionals to do it for them.
I intend to do the same. (Subject, of course, to the possibility that my later years will be some sort of apocalyptic hellscape. In which case, by all means, leave me to die. I'm only endangering the survival of the group. If you need to eat my flesh or use my bones as primitive clubs, I am cool with that. I've had a good run.)
― Ramen? No thanks, I prefer them cooked (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 21 September 2019 00:35 (four years ago) link
I'm gonna be 48 in December. Married since I was 21 and she was 20, so got the "more than half our lives" thing well covered. No kids — it almost happened once, almost 20 years ago now and basically by accident, but it didn't stick and honestly I'm glad; neither of us has had anything like a steady career for quite a while and if I'd had to deal with that kind of uncertainty with a kid or kids to support I'd probably have stroked out. The real glue in our relationship is that we love each other and hate everyone else. That's all you need, I find.
My mom's a little past 70 and healthier than me, and I can't be sure but I feel like she's got a fair amount of money — she goes on multiple foreign trips each year now (she's currently in the Mediterranean and is planning a trip to China). My dad's dead, as are both of my wife's parents. I'm still kinda hoping/planning to figure out a way to move to a country with a functioning health care system before I get old and sick(er — I'm diabetic).
― shared unit of analysis (unperson), Saturday, 21 September 2019 01:41 (four years ago) link
I don't particularly want my adult son helping me use the bathroom or anything.
ofc not, but you'll take what you get. In the last year of my mom's life, the 92nd year to be precise, her mental acuity was ebbing and her ability to track her own needs and ask for appropriate help wasn't very good. When I visited, I would sneak in health-related questions among the pleasant chit-chat. One time it resulted in my assisting the resident nurse in administering her an enema, and the truth is that because of my daughter's disabilities this was no big deal for me.
Your mileage may vary, but get used to the idea of verging on helplessness and accept that matters like getting an enema with limited privacy is not the indignity you now think it would be. Accepting help is OK when you need it and can't help yourself. Don't get all picky about it.
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 21 September 2019 03:13 (four years ago) link
Aimless otm <3
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 21 September 2019 03:15 (four years ago) link
hadn't really thought about such things -- i'm an only child, never needed company -- until spending a weekend in hospital a couple years ago
my roommate was in his late 70s and basically had everything wrong with him -- i knew it all because they went through it every time a new doctor came on duty. he was born in greece during the war, and his children and grandchildren spoke greek when they visited him
i was just there with weird cellulitis and basically taking all the possible antibiotics in order. i knew i would survive. but otoh i didn't really have anyone to tell, or who would care about me, even if it didn't mean visiting. and that is pretty fucking stark.
(as an aside, nurses are the most incredible people ever. every single one of them)
― mookieproof, Saturday, 21 September 2019 04:51 (four years ago) link
I've met enough nurse by now to know exactly what you mean. Sadly, I've now met so many nurse that I have run into some of the rare exceptions. But those few did not work at hospitals, which pay well, train well, and set high standards.
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 21 September 2019 05:27 (four years ago) link
I'm married to a maternity nurse and agree they are all extraordinary.
Does anyone worry about morbidity? I increasingly find myself thinking about big picture and scheme-of-a-life things and can't decide if I've always been like it or if I'm entering a new Prospero 'every third thought is my grave' type phase. For instance, tied to the nurse conversation, I wonder about the minute-to-minute intensity of that chosen life and how, at the end of all things, a nurse must surely look back with a glow of 'I did what I could'. That might just be projection.
I do wonder if I'm just unconsciously preparing myself for the death of my and my wife's parents - all four of whom are still alive and well into their 70s. Fwiw, I'd happily administer an enema if that's what's necessary.
― Life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering...save string (Chinaski), Saturday, 21 September 2019 09:54 (four years ago) link
Well that’s one way to take your mind off it, I guess
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Saturday, 21 September 2019 09:55 (four years ago) link
Hahaha. Morbidity survival kit: enema, blue chew, hip flask, the Book of Disquiet, the complete works of Lester Young, my slippers.
― Life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering...save string (Chinaski), Saturday, 21 September 2019 10:14 (four years ago) link
i have an increasingly frequent morning awareness of my own mortality, yes. was talking about it just last night in fact. partly my dad dying young-ish, partly a natural emotional inclination that way, and partly reading the wrong philosophy at the wrong age. two or three times in my life i have been sitting in a chair and been overwhelmed by a fear of death - almost sensory, like vertigo, and totally paralysing. lasted each time for about ten minutes.
― Fizzles, Saturday, 21 September 2019 10:28 (four years ago) link
I had that in my mid thirties - for me it was fatherhood which made it grow in my mind. Sporadically overwhelming for a couple of years and then receded - I’m just glad to be alive and will accept it when it comes.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Saturday, 21 September 2019 10:31 (four years ago) link
that should have read “increasingly frequent awareness”. it didn’t happen in the morning. that just tends to bring an awareness of the agony of being still alive. i should add that i don’t fear death itself. not particularly looking forward to it, but don’t fear it. is the not being. tremendously egotistical i know but there it is.
― Fizzles, Saturday, 21 September 2019 11:00 (four years ago) link
absolutely - and it’s the one subject you can’t not be egocentric about!
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Saturday, 21 September 2019 11:20 (four years ago) link
I find myself less morbid of late, honestly. I used to think a lot about death, but now... I don't know, I guess it's a cliche, but I'm busy being born. We'll see how I feel if/when ("if" because some people do just die suddenly in their sleep) I have to deal with it on a practical level.
― sock fingering, baby (rushomancy), Saturday, 21 September 2019 14:19 (four years ago) link
I was contacted as a bone marrow match a few weeks ago, and in a couple of weeks I will be (surgically) donating marrow to a young girl I don't know. At every one of my appointments leading up to the procedure I've been told/reminded of the potential for complications, including, given the use of general anesthesia, my death (however remote). This hasn't really given me any pause, because all sorts of things can go wrong to and for any of us on any given day, but I have been thinking of the recipient. I know what her illness is, and without a marrow transplant she will likely die. There is a chance, leading up to the transplant, that she could die. There is still a chance, after the transplant, that she could die. And there is a very good chance that if I back out, she will die. Without a doubt this experience has made me think about a lot of things, but mostly about how thankful I am to have made it this far, how thankful I am to (hopefully) have a lot more ahead of me, how scared I would be if it was my child in dire need of a transplant, and how grateful I would be (and what I would do) to significantly extend their life.
(I've also learned that being 44 puts me on the "young" end of the donor spectrum, albeit at the upper end of "young.")
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 21 September 2019 14:40 (four years ago) link
rush otm, and good on you Josh!
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Saturday, 21 September 2019 14:54 (four years ago) link
yeah Josh big ups
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 21 September 2019 15:20 (four years ago) link
Found out recently an old friend's daughter has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It doesn't hit me as personally hard as it does the friends of mine with kids, but I know that seeing something like that happen to your child is one of the absolute worst things you can go through. It also makes me think of the Captain Beefheart song "Bill's Corpse"; it does seem like the only time we get together these days is when something awful happens. Well, you know, I did deactivate my Facebook account.
And yeah it's a good thing you are doing Josh.
― sock fingering, baby (rushomancy), Saturday, 21 September 2019 15:24 (four years ago) link
I hope medical advances will keep advancing - its the best use of technology
― | (Latham Green), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 20:18 (four years ago) link
absolutely! at this point, i am just wondering how many of the cancers I am going to get in the next ten years or so
― sarahell, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 20:31 (four years ago) link
I meant to say at the time: that's an amazing gesture, Josh. I hope it all goes well.
― Life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering...save string (Chinaski), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 20:33 (four years ago) link
I'll keep you all informed. Procedure is ... Tuesday.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 20:34 (four years ago) link
Good luck Josh. Did I miss the backstory of what led you to donate?
wrt nurses, yes they are the best. My generalization is that nowadays nurses choose their profession because they truly love helping others while doctors do it for the ca$h. (of course there are many many fantastic, caring docs)
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 22:21 (four years ago) link
It was just a donor drive back in 2013. Got my cheek swabbed and forgot all about it.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 22:23 (four years ago) link
I just now joined the donor registry because I was "Inspired by a donor story" (you have to say why).
― mick signals, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 23:19 (four years ago) link
Ah. Well, specifically, our synagogue had a drive because a family member of a temple member needed a marrow transfer.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 26 September 2019 00:41 (four years ago) link
Update, if anyone wants it. I've been in the hospital since about 6:30 this morning. Marrow harvest went well, my marrow is on its way to the recipient. I'm just hanging out here for the all clear, Waiting for my hemoglobin levels, waiting for a little bit of bleeding to stop, waiting to pee again. Literally hanging out, too; hospital gowns do little for the ego.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 1 October 2019 22:01 (four years ago) link
good on you for volunteering; hope you have games on your phonethey're basically all that make life worthwhile
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 1 October 2019 22:19 (four years ago) link
Hope the glow of righteous, selfless action exceeds any pain - what a fantastic and life changing thing to do. Huge respect.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Tuesday, 1 October 2019 22:21 (four years ago) link
The PACU where I've been stuck has so many video game like noises going on anyway, I did think it would be hilarious if i comically added to the din. Honk!
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 1 October 2019 22:22 (four years ago) link
I actually did overhear a nurse talking about her pet duck, which was highly entertaining.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 1 October 2019 22:23 (four years ago) link
http://themotionpictures.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/ybyl.png
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 1 October 2019 22:28 (four years ago) link
pics or it didn't happen.
Just kidding. well done and take care!
― Yerac, Tuesday, 1 October 2019 22:57 (four years ago) link
hello. i'm new here
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 11:20 (three years ago) link
fuck, i remember my uncle, and various friends of my parents, turning 40. i'm not their age.
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 11:21 (three years ago) link
Welcome. It's not all bad. I find I only feel my age when I remember how old my kids are.
― thomasintrouble, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 11:36 (three years ago) link
I used to belong here, but now, y’know ...
― assert (MatthewK), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 11:51 (three years ago) link
...you can’t find the 50s thread?
― Erdős-szám 69 (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:07 (three years ago) link
Come on along
― Erdős-szám 69 (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:18 (three years ago) link
I’ll yet be over there in March. Having my 49th year literally be a year of COVID is weird — my birthday was one of the last classic fun days before lockdown — but in a weird way the enforced calm is probably what was needed given everything else in the world.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:38 (three years ago) link
Hey, dog. Pay no mind to the fact that your birth is now closer to The Blitz than it is to the present day.
Or that if Austin Powers went back in time thirty years ago now, he'd land in 1989, just in time for your ninth birthday.
Forty is a great age, to be honest. Why? Because it ain't 41.
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:51 (three years ago) link
1990. Thirty years ago was 1990.
^^ Get used to crap like that too.
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:52 (three years ago) link
Oh crap, I'm actually 41 now!
― Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:53 (three years ago) link
Watch any TV news report from 1990 and it'll feel like it was even longer ago.
― Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 12:55 (three years ago) link
Both of my kids have in recent years needed to dress "'90s" for something and they ran their duds by me. My reaction was that, first, early 90s were very different from the late 90s. And second, the hell I remember what anyone was wearing, that was years ago.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:00 (three years ago) link
The sudden realization that socked me in the gut earlier this year was that I'd graduated high school twenty five years ago. That can't be possible. A quarter century? No, no, that's not right. Try the math again, please.
― OrificeMax (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:01 (three years ago) link
xpost Next time, tell them to do an image search for TLC.
― OrificeMax (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:02 (three years ago) link
Tanky jeans, tanky sweatshirts.
― Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:05 (three years ago) link
I dunno. A lot of it holds up!
https://i.imgur.com/k7WTP1M.gif
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:08 (three years ago) link
also, flying cars
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:10 (three years ago) link
Xpost to the absentminded threadMy favorite part of being in my 40s is the realization, maybe once a month, that I’ve been walking around all day, going to bars and shopping etc, with my fly open
― calstars, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:27 (three years ago) link
over the summer I watched a couple documentaries about the LA Riots and then the one about the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill hearings ... and I thought, this is middle age, this is like my parents watching documentaries about the Civil Rights movement and Mississippi Burning
― sarahell, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:29 (three years ago) link
Same way my granddad used to lay on the couch and fall asleep to kamikaze attacks on batteships in the Pacific theater, I'm certain my grandkids will come into my den to find me snoozing away to ash-covered stockbrokers stepping their way through fallen rubble and drifting paper.
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 13:50 (three years ago) link
― calstars, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 14:45 (three years ago) link
i don't want to alarm you, but this is actually your 50th year
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 15:03 (three years ago) link
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/898/402/48d.gif
― Ilxor in the streets, Scampo in the sheets (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 15:07 (three years ago) link
Guy at the liquor store venting a little about a woman who came in on Saturday night, wanting to buy vodka even though she didn't turn 21 until Sunday.
I mentioned the same thing you just said and got the blankest stare, before he mumbled something about tell that to the ABC.
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 15:30 (three years ago) link
This is his 50th year, but he’s still 49.This is like when people ask how old a child is and parents say something like “he’ll be 4 in December.” Is there some shame in being 3? Just say he’s 3! /rant
― calstars, Tuesday, 6 October 2020 20:08 (three years ago) link
Even worse when they do it in bars.
― Quiet Storm Thorgerson (PBKR), Tuesday, 6 October 2020 20:12 (three years ago) link
Even worse when you tell the ticket lady he's 8 so he can have the free admission and your daughter pipes up "No, Daddy, he was 9 last week, don't you remember?"
― groovypanda, Wednesday, 7 October 2020 07:47 (three years ago) link
Teenagers on tiktok are posting video of high schoolers from 2003 like it’s vintage 1950s footage and it’s making me feel unwell pic.twitter.com/sROVmfII3C— ellory smith (@ellorysmith) October 14, 2020
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 17 October 2020 15:12 (three years ago) link
The best thing about this age is getting socks for your birthday, and being happy about it.
― neith moon (ledge), Monday, 19 October 2020 09:51 (three years ago) link
damn truth! i got a birthday coming up and I should research what socks I want so that I can let my family know!
― sarahell, Monday, 19 October 2020 13:44 (three years ago) link
The weirdest thing for me about getting older is reading old e-mails and realizing how much the entire way that society functions has shifted and changed so much in the past 20 years, like it's alarming
― flamboyant goon tie included, Monday, 19 October 2020 15:54 (three years ago) link
i suppose that's the nature of the western world universally? Like the jump from 1903 to 1925 must've seemed impossibly seismic too.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 19 October 2020 16:52 (three years ago) link
there was a major earthquake in 1906 so ... otm
― sarahell, Monday, 19 October 2020 17:00 (three years ago) link
Ya perhaps. I mean, the shift to having SMS being the primary form of interpersonal communication is obv an enormous shift, but it's shocking to see how huge a development it is when you, like, look back at the e-mails we were sending each other pre-2005.
― flamboyant goon tie included, Monday, 19 October 2020 17:06 (three years ago) link
― flamboyant goon tie included, Monday, October 19, 2020 11:54 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
I was packing up things in our basement and came across a printout of an email from 2000 when I was first dating my wife and the email was so formal and then had lyrics I quoted to her it was like reading some letter from the civil war or something.
― Quiet Storm Thorgerson (PBKR), Monday, 19 October 2020 17:27 (three years ago) link
Yeah that's what I mean, exactly. Music books films all age with some manner of gracefulness but basic communication has changed so quickly
― flamboyant goon tie included, Monday, 19 October 2020 19:43 (three years ago) link
I've got a box of actual letters in my attic from my then girlfriend - and other mates - who were scattered over the UK at Uni in the early 90s. Pre-mobiles too so does indeed seem like a different world
― groovypanda, Tuesday, 20 October 2020 09:18 (three years ago) link
welp, here I am. what should I expect for the next decade.
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 November 2020 05:20 (three years ago) link
various parts of your body are gonna stop working for no particular reason and when you bring that information to a trained medical professional the gist of what they are going to tell you is "yeah, that'll happen"
― Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 14 November 2020 05:21 (three years ago) link
neat!!!
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 November 2020 05:24 (three years ago) link
Neanderthal just wanted to let you know I also turn 40 in the next 30 days, so if you ever wanna talk about your body or various changes you've been noticing within your body, just send me a webmail - mine works ;)
― the burrito that defined a generation, Saturday, 14 November 2020 05:26 (three years ago) link
xp i wish i was kidding and yes it sucks. i would recommend enjoying and strengthening whatever physical facilities you have in anticipation of needing as many resources as possible to cope with sudden, debilitating and unavoidable decrepitude when it emerges.
― Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 14 November 2020 05:27 (three years ago) link
just wanna say I absolutely am NOT kidding and it doesn't necessarily need to suck. I'm here to support my fellow ilx0rs and help them cope with the bodies that Lord God has given unto them, and the behaviours we can do to maintain these physical vessels. I'm a big proponent of cycling 20 miles a week at least, running once every three months, and making crockpot beef stew and texas-style chili con carne at least once every astrological quarter, and I'm NOT ashamed to share these life-extending secrets with you, Neanderthal.
I know Scorpios and Saggittarrii are natural enemies, but I'm willing to put all that bullshits beyond us and talk to you mano-y-mano, amigo style about our bodies in a private setting if you're willing.
― the burrito that defined a generation, Saturday, 14 November 2020 05:32 (three years ago) link
awww I am a Scorpio and my best friend is a Sagittarius ... and actually, the physical stuff ... my 40s are over half over and I haven't really had any body parts problems tbh, except for needing more sleep. Also people will flirt with you and you'll do the math and realize that you are possibly the same age as their parents and it will be weird.
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 07:53 (three years ago) link
humblebrag
― calstars, Saturday, 14 November 2020 12:52 (three years ago) link
Now more than ever ("now" meaning in your '40s as well as being stuck at home) you need to stay active, at least to some degree. I'm not sure I've had any more random body failures than usual, at least nothing age related, but I'm definitely at the precarious stage where I'm as likely to injure myself exercising as I am because I *don't* exercise. I've never been one to stretch much, but I'm beginning to see its importance. If I could keep a straight face I could otherwise see the appeal of yoga, for flexibility, which seems as important as mental and physical strength as I creep toward decrepitude.
The weirdest thing about being in your '40s, imo, is remembering when either of your parents turned '40, and thinking, huh, is that what I look like to other people? Because I don't *feel* old.
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 14 November 2020 13:45 (three years ago) link
I feel that last sentence a lot.
I have seen pics of myself from 5 years ago where i look significantly younger.
Saw one from when i was 27 and wanted to cry.
I plan to age well. Gym time!
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 November 2020 13:48 (three years ago) link
I have made two big lifestyle changes since I turned 40, there is still time and your habits are still malleable!
The latest unexpected health issue is waking up with my hands and fingers aching. Both my parents turned 40 before I was born, I have no role models in that regard.
― Halfway there but for you, Saturday, 14 November 2020 14:17 (three years ago) link
I really need to get back to the basic yoga stretches I was doing a few years ago. Lately my lower back hurts all the time and it didn't when I was doing some simple stretches in the morning. But I am undisciplined, except when it comes to meeting deadlines.
Almost done with this decade; I'll be 49 next month.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 14 November 2020 14:21 (three years ago) link
Feel you all on the 'do I look like my parents who looked old at my age?!?' front. I maintained a youthful visage for a good long while (like I remember the time less than a decade ago when someone thought I was the younger brother of my brother who is five years younger than me) but boy has that ever stopped being the case for the last little while. And I do think the Grandpa-ening probably started right around the time I hit 40. I can't even say exactly what it is, though. My eyes, maybe? My eyes look older. Squintier. Saggier. A little less devil-may-care, a little more ready-for-medicare.
― Some dads are not YOUR dad (Old Lunch), Saturday, 14 November 2020 14:46 (three years ago) link
remembering when either of your parents turned '40, and thinking, huh, is that what I look like to other people? Because I don't *feel* old.
I recently felt some pleasure at the invisibility of the middle-aged person when it comes to young people. There were these four guys (looked to be early 20s), two of whom recently moved into the apartment building next door to mine. They are musicians. They are kinda into jazz, from what it sounds like (e.g. Take Five on loop play). So it made sense that one day they decided to get an upright piano. ... that they then had to figure out how to get out of the pickup truck and into the apartment building, which had steps going up from the sidewalk to the front doors .... So I just stood there, smoking, looking at my phone, trying not to look conspicuous, but the ridiculousness of these guys piano moving attempts ... there were four of them ffs ... and then I realized ... to them I am this middle-aged woman who probably knows nothing about moving upright pianos and they paid me no mind. And while I briefly had the instinct to tell them that actually, I have had plenty of experience moving upright pianos, I decided to just go with being invisible.
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 14:49 (three years ago) link
though I feel like in your 40s the divide gets sharper and perhaps more bleak between the single ppl and those who are settled down with spouses and/or kids. Not in a "we don't interact with one another way" but the existential issues are more sharp, and there definitely is an aura of "there is probably something very broken about you" around those who are over 40 and still single.
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 14:59 (three years ago) link
Thanks for the thread revive, I just crossed this rubicon about three weeks ago. Don’t “feel” old though reminders abound, like when I played flag football a month or so ago and was very very quickly sucking wind. Grew out a beard for the first time during quarantine and the gray plus the bags under my eyes probably make me look my age. As a nonparent it’s definitely wild to realize that when my dad was 40 I was 14
― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Saturday, 14 November 2020 15:12 (three years ago) link
I learned years ago, while volunteering in my kids' school, that once you hit your 30s, more or less, specific distinctions blur and young people just think you look "old." A friend of mine who teaches in college, though, he went with the eyes theory, that the eyes are the true age giveaway. Maybe. All I know is that I have a grey beard but I still rarely feel like the oldest person in the room. Granted, I only have a couple of friends in their '50s, but none of them seem particularly old, either. Good genes?
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 14 November 2020 15:12 (three years ago) link
Ah yeah, I recently thought that my father was my current age when I was 18 and started college which seems very weird to me since he was OLD then ! And it's not just an impression, objectively he was in a completely different situation with two kids (my sister who was 22, me), married for around 25y, owning a house in the suburbs, bought several cars, etc.I'm not the total opposite but still, married for only 2y, no kids, living in a small flat in the city, still going out for drinks with friends regularly (well, less so this year, obviously)...
― AlXTC from Paris, Saturday, 14 November 2020 15:16 (three years ago) link
The funniest thing about my age was a few years ago when a 16yo kid asked me if I was... 18 ! Because I was driving a car so she thought I was old enough to have a driving licence : I guess that 18 was the oldest she could think of !Also, I regularly get a "jeune homme" (young men) from sellers in shops. Which is nice but kinda weirs for a middle aged guy...
― AlXTC from Paris, Saturday, 14 November 2020 15:21 (three years ago) link
for me, 46 is the last year I remember what my parents were like at my age on a daily basis. I had left home by the time my parents were 47, so the memories of when various aging things happened to them are way more vague, in terms of predicting the likelihood of when various things will happen to me and what they will feel like: what year was the knee surgery, what year was the cancer, what year was the dental work that cost $10k, etc.
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 15:22 (three years ago) link
also, now they are in their 70s and often don't remember things that happened in their 40s so if I were to ask, "mom, what year did you have that knee problem?" the answer would start with I don't remember and then my parents would end up bickering about where Frank's Florist was in relation to the Post Office.
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 15:25 (three years ago) link
it struck me the other day that when my mum was my age I was getting married
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 14 November 2020 15:52 (three years ago) link
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 16:04 (three years ago) link
Also people will flirt with you and you'll do the math
Being flirted with - by people of any age group - has absolutely not been a feature of my forties. What's your secret? (Asking for a friend.)
― Soz (Not Soz) (Vast Halo), Saturday, 14 November 2020 16:47 (three years ago) link
I was walking down the street yesterday and saw an old soccer ball in the street. I was nearby to a park, so I dribbled it down the sidewalk and kicked it up on the grass as I walked by the park. Now my foot hurts. Story of my forties.
― DJI, Saturday, 14 November 2020 17:03 (three years ago) link
xp - a vagina? idk
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 17:15 (three years ago) link
if I were to ask, "mom, what year did you have that knee problem?" the answer would start with I don't remember and then my parents would end up bickering about where Frank's Florist was in relation to the Post Office.
irl chuckled out loud at that one. encapsulates what my parents were like in their 70s, too.
― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Saturday, 14 November 2020 17:17 (three years ago) link
Ahah, that's rough !I haven't played football since... I was 30 something. And I was already borderline dying after playing like 15min !
― AlXTC from Paris, Saturday, 14 November 2020 17:18 (three years ago) link
From age 25-40 I did regular high-impact cardio and stretching via dance practice and performance, which took a toll on my feet but also kept me in okay shape. We quit when I was 40, and I probably hung onto my fitness for a while but by 43 (last winter) I was so tight I hurt everywhere and range of motion was shit.
Been fighting to get that back with daily stretching and more exercise and it's working but it's all about constant maintenance now whereas 10 years ago I could it once a week and be good.
Re appearances: I'm going grey and I'm not into it, but thank you, subcutaneous fat, for my plump and youthful visage!
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Saturday, 14 November 2020 17:25 (three years ago) link
I'm a Scorpio who had a Sagittarius roommate in college. He used to make chili con carne de venado.
Dude's still one my best friends, but never living with one of those again.
― pplains, Saturday, 14 November 2020 17:30 (three years ago) link
i lost my virginity to a Sagittarius ... he was a slob but good in bed
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 November 2020 17:32 (three years ago) link
Why are we Sags bad roommates? Especially if we cook chili?
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 14 November 2020 19:16 (three years ago) link
iirc they always hog the new yorker
― mookieproof, Saturday, 14 November 2020 19:37 (three years ago) link
and there definitely is an aura of "there is probably something very broken about you" around those who are over 40 and still single.
Sad if still true. I thought singledom is very much on the rise and there's more awareness and appreciation of singledom as a valid active life choice.
― Luna Schlosser, Saturday, 14 November 2020 21:55 (three years ago) link
Feels sorta ironic that my family has seemingly accepted me being single, but my good friends consider me a kind of problem to be solved.
― lukas, Saturday, 14 November 2020 21:58 (three years ago) link
Ha, I bet most married people don't think this.
― pplains, Saturday, 14 November 2020 23:10 (three years ago) link
My married friends have told me they're jealous of me because pre-pandemic i tended to just travel the country and do whatever shit i wanted every day of the week.
My reply was actually I'm jealous of you having a wife and kids but we both could enjoy cosplaying as each other for a week.
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 November 2020 01:37 (three years ago) link
I was born the day after Neanderthal, I think
― Wayne Grotski (symsymsym), Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:07 (three years ago) link
you’d first have to agree to keep your cos on at all times xp
― estela, Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:10 (three years ago) link
I mean, yeah, some married people cosplay as singles all the time.
― pplains, Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:36 (three years ago) link
cos play as sin gles indicates tan gles in triangles
― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:38 (three years ago) link
-Public Enemy
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:45 (three years ago) link
I remember when this thread started and I was still a year away from 40 — and now I’m a year-plus past them. So that’s my report on the 40s, they go fast.
100 percent endorse the need to stay physically active (but in a smart way, it gets easier to get hurt). I’ve adopted the mantra “Move every day” to get me out of the house. For me that’s most walking and hiking and a lot of stretching. But it makes a huge difference.
Another big feature of my 40s was that suddenly I knew more and more people dying.
― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:52 (three years ago) link
I'm not married or a father but at the very least I don't get guff from my moms as I'm (inexplicably) the only one of my siblings currently in a relationship.
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:53 (three years ago) link
I'm closer to 50 than I am to 40 at this point. 40s have been good to me but yeah, the physical annoyances are a thing. The most irritating to me is the eyesight thing. I've always been nearsighted and that has not changed, but now I have to take my glasses *off* for some close-in things, like cutting my fingernails. And I can't see in dim light. My partner can still see in much dimmer light than I, and this leads to light switch wars analogous to the thermostat wars other partners have.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 15 November 2020 03:57 (three years ago) link
I'm doing OK as far as eyesight goes. That is, I've always had bad eyes and wear contacts, but they're not getting worse and I don't need readers *yet*.
My family can drive me nuts, but I am super thankful to have had my family around these past several months, and super happy that things have gone as smoothly as they have, spending sooooooo much time together. We've got a rhythm going. My life would be totally different without them, but probably not for the better.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 15 November 2020 04:55 (three years ago) link
Xpost nearsighted and now having trouble seeing stuff up close. I got a pair of glasses with much weaker correction than my distance glasses. Works great for computer screens, books etc.
― that's not my post, Sunday, 15 November 2020 05:54 (three years ago) link
my vision just get worse and worse over time. when I first began wearing contact lenses (in like, 1994 or 1995), I had an astigmatism in one eye. now I have them in both. one eye doctor freaked me out 5 years ago and said i had the makings of what looked like "tiny cataracts", but no other eye doctor since has found the same thing (I switched due to moving).
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 November 2020 06:10 (three years ago) link
oh hey i turned 40 about 6 weeks ago and meant to bump this but forgot
i had a bunch of pulmonary embolisms and a good part of my right lung "died" about 2 months before i turned 40. didn't seem like a good omen! but since I've been able to move about again I've started walking manically (many miles per day) and my feet and knees are killing me but, you know, gotta do something. bein' 40, man! it's not great!
took a selfie the other day and it was the first where i was like "damn, i look old." Just weathered and beaten. I have since shaved the beard. 40! why!
― Clay, Sunday, 15 November 2020 07:15 (three years ago) link
I'm 46 in January and this year feels pretty defining in the tip towards cliched middle-age. Sure, we've all had to stop to some degree, but I've kind of embraced it - got properly into gardening, I'm doing lots of jigsaw puzzles (this is more pensioner than middle-age), playing lots of guitar, watching way more television (and shouting at the telly more). I was fit until I was 40 when I stopped playing football due to fucked knees; my main source of fitness now is walking and I'm trying to maintain 100km a month where possible.
Like most people here, my eyes are failing me and I'm wearing glasses more and more. I've had a varicose vein in my left leg since my late 20s but goddamn it's like something out of Tremors right now. I'm doing my best to ignore it but occasionally, of a morning, my left foot will be a terrifying dead colour so I should probably get that sorted.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Sunday, 15 November 2020 11:02 (three years ago) link
I love being in my 40s because my 20s were basically like the Rocky training scenes writ large & my 30s were the first fights, win a few, lose more, but now I'm getting to put all of that experience to use.
― All cars are bad (Euler), Sunday, 15 November 2020 11:20 (three years ago) link
Well - I've moved onto the 50s, but I also found that declining eyesight was the main factor that i noticed in my 40s. I have an astigmatism in each eye and increasingly felt cross-eyed as I was reading text. The next development was that anything placed to the side of what I was reading, e.g. an irritating floating text box on a website, would distract one of my eyes towards it and reading would become unbearable.
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 15 November 2020 11:23 (three years ago) link
Sneak preview of main ageing symptom for the 50s is increasing mental fatigue. I used to be able to play blitz chess online for ages - game after game. Now after a couple of games I have to regroup and allow my brain to recover. And that feeling of protecting a sure win from a horrible ripoff when you're exhausted is horrible.
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 15 November 2020 11:43 (three years ago) link
might be a bit early to say as I only turned 40 last month but I feel no different to how I did in my early 30s.if anything I'm slightly fitter as I've made sure I take occasional exercise as opposed to just sitting around eating and smoking all the time
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Sunday, 15 November 2020 14:01 (three years ago) link
I turned 49 last month and I'm way fitter leaving this decade than I was entering it. Probably look younger than I did then too so it's not all doom and gloom
― groovypanda, Monday, 16 November 2020 09:01 (three years ago) link
My parents are 70 and 69 and are more active and probably fitter than they were in the preceding decades when they were stuck raising children.
― The Bosom Manor Michaelmas Special (silby), Monday, 16 November 2020 16:26 (three years ago) link
Fitter...Happier...
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 November 2020 16:38 (three years ago) link
only 38 but feeling older tbh. my hair has gone pretty salt and peppery over the last two years.
― Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Monday, 16 November 2020 16:57 (three years ago) link
49 last month and I'm way fitter leaving this decade than I was entering it.
my forties were similar. entering them I'd been experiencing extreme stress for close to a decade already and I was in fairly dire shape, but I was fortunate enough in my forties that I was gradually able to reduce that stress year by year, retrieve my health, and lay a sound foundation for a fitter, happier fifties. everyone has a different obstacle course to run. I happened to be very lucky, which allowed me to be motivated and diligent. without that good luck, I could have sunk entirely.
― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Monday, 16 November 2020 20:02 (three years ago) link
Welcome to your forties: https://pitchfork.com/news/bill-callahan-and-bonnie-prince-billy-cover-steely-dans-deacon-blues-listen/
― pplains, Monday, 16 November 2020 21:41 (three years ago) link
I'm loving this. Bill Callahan's voice is surprisingly well suited for this song.
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Monday, 16 November 2020 22:06 (three years ago) link
I was just wondering, is everyone's else's forties just endless misery, cancer and death, or is it just me? does this ever end?
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:00 (three years ago) link
why do people even try
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:04 (three years ago) link
I feel that way a lot. Then I remember people in their 50s and 60s are putting up with shit way worse. So I have that to look forward to.
― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:07 (three years ago) link
i dont have answers to any of those questions but im glad you're here all the same.
― class project pat (m bison), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:13 (three years ago) link
are they? I wonder in what way they are putting up with worse shit.
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:13 (three years ago) link
this I suppose is kind of a drawback but also a safety cushion. I wouldn't want to kill myself because it would hurt my mum, but my mum was only 17 when she had me, so I have to put up with existence until she dies
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:25 (three years ago) link
that's going to take fucking years. but at least the rate it's going everyone I have every loved will be dead within a couple of years so fuck it anyway
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:28 (three years ago) link
I think the reason I was thinking about this and what is the actual point in continuing to live. I will be 45 this year. My life has been relentless misery and death since I was 39. Just wondering what a reasonable amount of years would be before I just go you know what, you win god, fuck you, fuck humanity, can I just go and party with Satan now?
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 06:44 (three years ago) link
is everyone's else's forties just endless misery, cancer and death, or is it just me? does this ever end?
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Friday, February 19, 2021 10:00 PM (one hour ago)
i feel like my 40s have had less misery than previous decades, a little bit more cancer and definitely more death ... and most likely the cancer and death stuff will increase in future decades.
― sarahell, Saturday, 20 February 2021 07:16 (three years ago) link
my 40s are approaching their end, and i can think of essentially nothing to say about them other than that i've survived
i did at least raid daddino's series of 1971 mixes so as to make my own version
― mookieproof, Saturday, 20 February 2021 07:19 (three years ago) link
My 40s were fine. It's now, in my 50s, when the misery, death and cancer is kicking in.
― Zelda Zonk, Saturday, 20 February 2021 09:03 (three years ago) link
I suppose now I've woken up the cancer and death can't actually increase because there will be no-one left in my life to die within a few years.
I should make some new friends so they can die too.
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 12:40 (three years ago) link
My 30s were a nightmare. I'm now 41-and-a-half. So far my 40s have shown themselves to be lonelier, sicklier, and happier
― flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 20 February 2021 13:03 (three years ago) link
A person on twitter I am mutuals with has said he knows nearly 20 people who have died of covid, and has been unable to attend a single funeral in all that time.
― xyzzzz__, Saturday, 20 February 2021 13:07 (three years ago) link
My father died when I was 36, that marked the start of a psychological shift for me to thinking of life as a preparation for dying. Several aunts and an uncle lived to their 90s, I may have a long wait.
― Halfway there but for you, Saturday, 20 February 2021 13:40 (three years ago) link
my 40s are approaching their end, and i can think of essentially nothing to say about them other than that i've survivedThis I hated my forties, I am a worse, weaker, more useless person coming out of them
― covidsbundlertanze op. 6 (Jon not Jon), Saturday, 20 February 2021 15:48 (three years ago) link
i feel like a broken record here but -- when I was 42, there was a fire at a show that killed 36 people in my community, 6 of whom were friends of mine, and 35 of the 36 were younger than me. Only the "token old guy" was older than me. It gave me a major jab in terms of thinking long and hard about my assumptions and expectations about life, and what I should be doing with mine, and the various stages of life based on physical age.
― sarahell, Saturday, 20 February 2021 16:11 (three years ago) link
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, February 20, 2021 7:40 AM bookmarkflaglink
don't know the words to say other than "I'm so sorry" :(
― if you meh them, shut up (Neanderthal), Saturday, 20 February 2021 17:34 (three years ago) link
I'm not saying I've done it, but it's necessary to come up with a perspective on life that includes rather than ignores the inevitability of death.
― Halfway there but for you, Saturday, 20 February 2021 17:49 (three years ago) link
I can definitely relate to that ...
― sarahell, Saturday, 20 February 2021 17:54 (three years ago) link
only a few months into my 40s, my brain feels like it has transitioned to knowing my freewheeling, do whatever I feel like days are over, and I have more confidence in my ability to do things for myself and others.
but after the latter half of my 30s, I'm hoping the only way to look is up. the first half of my 30s were amazing, second half were bits of light sprinkled amongst lots of despair that I papered over with traveling the country, drinking, and excess concert-going.
― if you meh them, shut up (Neanderthal), Saturday, 20 February 2021 17:57 (three years ago) link
Hey, if anyone else who is not "eligible" to post in the no boys thread wants to confront me for having started a discussion about how non-cis-men tend to view their 40s as more positive than cis-men and how that was insensitive or potentially related to the shitty cancer and death context of Colonel Poo's post in this thread ... please do so here. I don't have to work today, and I will personally apologize to anyone who was hurt.
― sarahell, Saturday, 20 February 2021 18:57 (three years ago) link
I'm not really looking for a confrontation, but will just note that it came dangerously close to implying that grief and depression are an unsightly symptom of being a 40-something cis het male. There may or may not be a gendered element to when or how people experience these things, but it feels a lot like trivializing people's pain and vulnerability to muse upon it while they are obviously hurting.
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Saturday, 20 February 2021 19:05 (three years ago) link
just to be clear I know people are talking about this and I want to say that yes I found the discussion insensitive and a bit hurtful, but I also recognised that it wasn't really about me. I am not wanting to confront anyone over this, frankly I'm embarrassed about the whole thing.
― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 20 February 2021 19:10 (three years ago) link
Ugh and I am super sorry about that. I was mostly responding to the posts that followed that seemed to speak more to general malaise. I didn't intend to trivialize anyone's pain. As a middle-aged white woman, I end up seeing/reading a lot of posts and articles by other middle-aged white women and there is a tendency to actually speak more positively about one's 40s vs. being younger, so I wanted to talk about how gender relates to that.
― sarahell, Saturday, 20 February 2021 19:13 (three years ago) link
I can't speak to experiencing this manifestation of grief at this time--the most intense grief I've experienced wrt aging was in my early 30s when I felt I had a lifetime of love to give a partner and a child, and no partner and no child in my present or future. Ten years later I could have chosen differently but I felt that time had passed for me. I no longer wanted to give up my body and the next 20 years of my life to center around something that would need so much of everything from me.
But in my mid 40s that's behind me now and the grieving feels a bit distant and a lot of other things I was laboring under have disappeared? I haven't been street harassed in this decade, which is A MIRACLE. Or I guess on the rare occasions that I am, I feel fine giving the finger and keeping it moving. A facet of my personal growth that I really appreciate.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Saturday, 20 February 2021 19:13 (three years ago) link
helped a friend move back and helped my mother around the house and I should not be as tired and sore as I am, lol. Icy Hot for the win.
― if you meh them, shut up (Neanderthal), Monday, 22 February 2021 00:53 (three years ago) link
Feeling time creeping up, the ever slowly closing window on changing the way things are, seeing that any hope of a “replacement” situation being anything else than completely fucked is slim , living in basement studio in a shit neighborhood with one small window, realizing I’m a social cancer entity, making contributions to the public artistic discourse like trying to shoot bats in cave while standing in twenty feet of guano slowly sinking
― calstars, Monday, 22 February 2021 01:09 (three years ago) link
Coffee break's over!
― pplains, Monday, 22 February 2021 01:11 (three years ago) link
I count my 40s mostly as a respite from AIDS, seeing so many of my friends die in my 30s was incredibly painful, it was by far the most traumatic experience of my life
― Dan S, Monday, 22 February 2021 01:29 (three years ago) link
I am 49 (turning 50 in three months). My forties were mostly pleasant. Solid marriage, beautiful and happy children, decent work, played lots of music.
The last year has been tumultuous as fuck. Covid and everything, challenges with younger disabled kid and elder kid working through gender/identity issues. Winter tends to pull me down normally, and this one has been especially bad.
Lately I keep waking up with dread. Or the blues. Or nausea. Or all three. By noon I feel better. But yeah, it's a slog.
I wish peace and strength to everyone.
― illumi-naughty (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 22 February 2021 02:48 (three years ago) link
I'm turning 50 in December. Married 27 years (28 in June). No kids. My forties have been pretty good — drifted from job to job, but never felt desperate or worried about the present or the future. I think I've become a much better writer in the last few years, and have finally "broken through" in that I see my work cited in articles and books now, which is a strange feeling. My 2020 was...mostly pretty good (wrote a book, started a record label, made some money) to the point that I sometimes feel weirdly guilty about not sharing the existential, doom-is-upon-us feelings that others here and elsewhere share regularly. I haven't really been worried about catching Covid; I work from home and take precautions, always wearing a mask when I'm outside my apartment and generally standing far away from other people (though TBH I always did that anyway). And I don't really miss being out in public in group/social situations. Even when I went to jazz clubs I mostly sat by myself in a corner and listened to the music; I wasn't there to drink or make conversation. My main worry is that my lack of exercise seems to be taking its toll. My back hurts a lot, almost all the time, and I fell down twice while out walking this past week and only one of those can be absolutely attributable to hitting a patch of ice on the sidewalk — the other one just felt like my legs went out and I toppled over for no reason. That's weird, and something I hope stops happening.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, 22 February 2021 03:38 (three years ago) link
Yeah, I've been feeling my age (48) more than at any point in my life. I look very young for my age and still have almost no grey hair, but the pandemic, lack of exercise, aging friends and parents, all have me hearing the clock ticking in a way I haven't before.
― Rocky Thee Stallion (PBKR), Monday, 22 February 2021 12:37 (three years ago) link
Question: does having kids give you a connection to the next generation and feeling younger or make you feel your age and out of touch?
This might be slight regret at not having kids, but I've wondered if it is the former.
― Rocky Thee Stallion (PBKR), Monday, 22 February 2021 12:45 (three years ago) link
it definitely helps you zero in on exactly how out of touch you are imei mean sure i now know that london kids say “sheffed” for “knifed” and “cap” for “a lie” but it is more or less unusable knowledge for me
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 22 February 2021 12:52 (three years ago) link
I would think at the least parents would absorb some knowledge of the latest apps/technology/music/etc. from their kids, though that could definitely work either way.
Maybe ignorance really is bliss, lol.
― Rocky Thee Stallion (PBKR), Monday, 22 February 2021 12:58 (three years ago) link
having kids definitely makes me feel my age, mostly because i'm constantly hearing myself sounding just like my dad (and hating myself for it)
― would a nit be nice? (NickB), Monday, 22 February 2021 13:01 (three years ago) link
Dunno, having kids (in their twenties now) makes me feel I'm not as old as I actually am.
I'm in no rush to don a flat cap, wear tweed and have a long beard like people twenty years younger than me, put it that way.
― Mark G, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:27 (three years ago) link
I'd guess having kids gives you a keener sense of time passing and life changing. 5 years is a whole period of growth and change to observe in your kids. Whereas for me life's pretty similar to what it was 5 years ago with no such obvious indicators of change.
― Luna Schlosser, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:30 (three years ago) link
no cap, this thread is a shef in the guts
― rob, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:33 (three years ago) link
Anyway, there does not seem to be a 'fifties' thread, and even if there was, I'd only have two weeks to be there. So, lol.
― Mark G, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:33 (three years ago) link
I'm 47 and my youngest is not yet 2, I suspect by the time they're in they're twenties - or even teenagers - I'm going to be feeling pretty old by comparison.
― ledge, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:34 (three years ago) link
Wonder if 'sheffed' comes from shiv, or chef's knife, or something more recondite.
― ledge, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:36 (three years ago) link
Wel, I'd have thought so too, but it's not inevitable. Xpost
― Mark G, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:36 (three years ago) link
I think there is one! I remember posting in it. I think Jaq has as well? But I can't find it.
― Motoroller Scampotron (WmC), Monday, 22 February 2021 13:42 (three years ago) link
Guessing “sheffed” is a corruption of “shivved” though as I type that it occurs to me that “sheffed” may be a reference to Sheffield steel and so maybe sheffed is the older form? Certainly I’ve been hearing / reading shivved for years but sheffed is new to me. I can say with happy certainty that I’m further out of touch than Tracer is.
― Tim, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:45 (three years ago) link
That was an xpost, couldn’t imagine anyone else was musing on this, should’ve known Ledge would be.
Shiv: “probably from Romani chiv ‘blade’.” Says the internet.
― Tim, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:48 (three years ago) link
Cheffed: "British slang to describe someone getting [shanked] or [knifed]. Typically used by [roadmen]."
https://definedictionarymeaning.com/topic/99302/cheffed
i.e. getting chopped up by a knife
― would a nit be nice? (NickB), Monday, 22 February 2021 13:51 (three years ago) link
lol a Roadman sounds like a description of an Irish construction worker from the 60's working as one of McAlpine's Fusiliers to me, but apparently it means someone who hangs out (not to be confused with hanging out washing) on the streets and stuff.
― calzino, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:56 (three years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qTY0u6Cujwzone 2 - who you cheffed?
lyrics here: https://l-hit.com/en/1611459
"how many times have i went for my waist and they ran even though mans lackingAim it back then i swear i gotta tap itCould never be me that don't bang itRuth who you cheffed?Ned who you cheffed? (ned who you cheffed?)Loose who you cheffed?Let me not even start about kevYour-your big man doing up gangIncog who have you cheffed?All these guys just rap like you ain't made non of us bledGive a fuck what you thinkWanted to stop when it got too tenLet me just state some names before we say they ain't got any friendsLoose got chinged up three timesLb hold a bassNed got knocked out two timesRhino got it in his face (rhino got it in his face)Tizzy got opened wideAyy, rampz he already went swimmingOs, ny, tiny got it all for free who wants the ticketTsplash with his auntieFemz at a partyThey don't score no parks g"
― would a nit be nice? (NickB), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:01 (three years ago) link
Ned's got some explaining to do
turned 41 recently, though i keep forgetting that i'm 41 because pandemic birthdays don't seem real. so far it's been...okay? without getting too personal, i'm coming out the other end from some existential am i going to have kids or not? stuff that i do think, for women who want to have kids, makes the 40s a different decade than for men (kind of the decade following a reckoning of sorts). (obviously, that is a generalization that pretends gender is more binary than it is.) i have been very lucky when it comes to death and disease among the people i love, and people itt who have experienced that kind of loss, i'm so sorry.
much more trivially, i find the stuff in the cultural ether about women in their 40s irritating--in my circle of female friends who live near me (all of whom are younger than me lol) there's a lot of Cathy cartoon-style bemoaning growing older, and maybe i'm just a case of arrested development, but i don't identify. i guess i'm in worse physical shape than i used to be, but duh. my late 30s and early 40s saw me become financially stable (as much as possible in this accursed economy) in a way that still feels like a bit of a trip (and was dependent on getting married, honestly, which is shitty), but i do think it's made life less stressful. on the other hand, political/global stuff is terrifying--i feel like my 40s so far have been characterized by a weird cognitive dissonance--a realization that i have become a part of the bourgeoisie, with bourgeois habits (i always had those, though, just less money), who nonetheless has been radicalized by how terribly entrenched wealth inequality and economic exploitation are in this country. i feel dread about how precarious basically everyone's life feels right now (except, like, three uber-rich people), but that doesn't seem like it's necessarily about being in my 40s, just about where the world is as i happen to be in my 40s.
also i feel like i was never particularly adventurous in my aspirations for my life, so the fact that i'm 41 and there's a pandemic, so i spend Friday nights reading in a comfortable chair is fine by me.
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:10 (three years ago) link
― pplains, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:17 (three years ago) link
i feel like my 40s so far have been characterized by a weird cognitive dissonance--a realization that i have become a part of the bourgeoisie, with bourgeois habits (i always had those, though, just less money), who nonetheless has been radicalized by how terribly entrenched wealth inequality and economic exploitation are in this country
Ha, I feel you on this 10000%. Just giving modern life a moment's thought must push you leftward, unless you're a total fucking psychopath. And yet, I realize that I'm not really doing anything about it (except for the mitigation of environmental impact caused by not having kids vs. having them). Oh, well, at least I'm not a Bitcoin farmer, I tell myself...
― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:20 (three years ago) link
I feel every bit of that, hs. More to say later at a computer.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:20 (three years ago) link
hi horseshoe. that's a great post :)
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:24 (three years ago) link
unperson, i, too, am not doing enough about it.
io, i find what you wrote upthread about coming through your grief about the kids/partner thing and then deciding you were not willing to give yourself over to it later when it became an option very moving!
xp hi Tracer! thank you!
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:25 (three years ago) link
bourgeois habits (i always had those, though, just less money)
lol and yes
― rob, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:26 (three years ago) link
booming post from horseshoe
(i am 35 so i'll see yall itt l8rz)
― class project pat (m bison), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:28 (three years ago) link
i love nothing more than to buy wine and snacks and physical books tbh--have been like that, except for the wine part, since i was 5 and filling out those Scholastic book orders in elementary school.
xp hi m bise!!! <3
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:29 (three years ago) link
Hi horseshoe we are the same age and I loved your post
― flamboyant goon tie included, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:34 (three years ago) link
hm it had never occurred to me to blame Scholastic for my love of physical media but you may be right
― rob, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:36 (three years ago) link
fgti, that is an immense compliment coming from you, ty!
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:39 (three years ago) link
I chime with as much of that post as could reasonably be expected horseshoe, nailed a few things there
― Mark G, Monday, 22 February 2021 13:27 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
Or older, tbf
Calz- navvies/tarries
― scampsite (darraghmac), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:43 (three years ago) link
― rob, Monday, February 22, 2021 8:36 AM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
Yes, this is a revelation, the thrilling sensation of New! Books! is precisely the same all these decades later
― The Mandolinrainian (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:46 (three years ago) link
Am 41 as well* and thank you for your post Horseshoe.
(technically I'm still and will remain 40 for a while, because just like you the rona birthdays don't really seem to count, and my second birthday-that-can't-be-celebrated is already coming up! not that I mind too much: I've my gf, and wine and books will def do <3)
― A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:48 (three years ago) link
there is something about "Roadman" that tickles me in a similar way that "Wheelman" as used in the world of James Ellroy style crime-fiction does! Sorry I know this doesn't make much sense and apologies for the whiff of male chauvinism.
― calzino, Monday, 22 February 2021 14:48 (three years ago) link
I'm in my late 40s. I have three kids, one just turned 18 & another will turn 21 in a few months. I guess I'm the dreaded patriarch. Thanks Tracer Hand for helping me see why my son says "cap" all the time (Paris not London but he has some British friends).
It's strange moving toward the other side of the parenting thing, although I hope it's a long time still: my kids & wife are by a million miles the people I most love being with. The pandemic's been good in that way: hour-long lunches & two hour long dinners every day where we just talk & laugh together about everything: it's a dinner party every day, with the most fun & sympathetic people I can imagine.
But getting older's meant more death: my thesis director, to whom I was closer than to my own father, died just before the pandemic; another person who I'd admired for a long time & had been finally able to spend time with, died of Covid; two other people I'd clashed with for decades but were important parts of my life at various points, died in the last year. These are all boomers, in their 60s and 70s. A high school friend was killed by the cops last year, dying unmonitored in jail of the DTs. Death everywhere. My parents are still alive & I haven't seen them in almost three years, because I live across the sea & they don't want to travel anymore, & we don't have the money for us to go to see them. & with the rona who knows if we'll ever even be able to make it back there before they're gone.
― All cars are bad (Euler), Monday, 22 February 2021 14:55 (three years ago) link
many of my female friends in their late forties/early fifties bemoan their invisibility
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 15:22 (three years ago) link
For sure! But being visible as a woman isn’t necessarily great, either, vis a vis in orbit’s comments upthread about street harassment. Visibility is at best fraught, I think. Invisibility isn’t good, but can be a perverse relief. To be seen without being objectified would be ideal.
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 15:28 (three years ago) link
When I was young enough to be uncomfortably visible in public, I was still invisible/inaudible in grad seminars, for example.
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 15:30 (three years ago) link
Yeah, that's the fun thing about sexism! It never works for you, only against you.
I'm sure it's partly being in the longest/only long-term relationship of my life but I'm fine with being invisible in an "acknowledgement of sexuality" sense. To some extent I've comfortably forgotten the presh to be feminine and attractive in circumscribed ways or to care if men find me so. (Lockdown in sweatpants has helped.) The last man who tried to "flirt" with me was unbearably awful and I would like to never care about attracting dating partners again, tyvm.
I'm very happy that my circles of female friends are expressly rejecting worrying about aging. I can't think of anyone who moans about wrinkles or aging, apart from a reasonable amt of effort to be kind to ourselves. And a of them are single and planning for a single life, which is also interesting.
Re financial security: It sucks that so many of us had to get into our 40s to not live in fear of catastrophe, hunger, losing access to housing, being unsafe. Everyone likes nice things! I don't want people to blame themselves for enjoying NOT being on the precipice! As always, it turns out the problem was capitalism all along.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 16:06 (three years ago) link
tbf in my own case, I had help from family while i struggled to make a living wage, which obvs most don’t have. that only makes the ridiculous difficulty for most people more stark.
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 16:09 (three years ago) link
Meant to say "...many of them are single and planning for a single life"...not ALL, obviously!
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 16:16 (three years ago) link
Sorry to keep coming back, my morning has been a little fragmented.
I know that illness & death are coming for me and the people I love but it hasn't happened yet, for the most part. I'm sure my late 40s will look different. My parents are, seemingly suddenly, "old," and my dad's getting open-heart surgery soon, so every day is uncertain.
Re personal ambitions: I would like to own a home that I can potentially age in, in this decade. Other than that I just want to Do More and Be More Effective at righting wrongs and helping ppl in various ways, and to get the chance to use my skills and enjoy my work. It's too bad I have to worry about getting paid for it, honestly.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 16:31 (three years ago) link
PBKR, to answer your question from earlier today: both.
I’m 44.
― We’re Up All Night To Get Lochte (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 22 February 2021 16:54 (three years ago) link
I'm very much in the unperson/horseshoe sphere, honestly. I'll be turning 50 in eight days, and while this wasn't how I expected to end my 40s, I'm alive and well, happily employed at a place that doesn't rely on sales or profit margins and where I've been able to easily work from home the whole time (and which recently gave me the most glowing performance review I've ever received), comfortably housed and only possessing a few twinges and things along those lines in terms of health -- my daily morning walks have been excellent ways to maintain things as well as my mood this past year. My parents are very well (and now vaccinated), my sister and only sibling is doing fine and my circle of people close to me is getting through it all, which is a relief, though I've no doubt people have their own individual struggles. I have lost a couple of very dear people over the years but for other causes than COVID. The wider world is a wreck and a half and seflish and evil grotesques are the worst, and are manifold, but I hope I see that clear-eyed enough and help at righting balances as I can. Meanwhile, my choices years back, conscious or not, on several levels -- not to bother with a car, never to register for any specific political party, accept fatherhood/stepfatherhood if it occurred but not seeking it out -- seem to have played out comfortably enough.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 22 February 2021 16:56 (three years ago) link
41, and my forties have been absolute adulthood peak times for good mental health and loving family, and an absolute low point in self-worth, professional accomplishment and income.
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 22 February 2021 17:09 (three years ago) link
Other than that I just want to Do More and Be More Effective at righting wrongs and helping ppl in various ways, and to get the chance to use my skills and enjoy my work. It's too bad I have to worry about getting paid for it, honestly.
This is beautiful, thanks!!
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 17:13 (three years ago) link
To be seen without being objectified would be ideal.
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 17:46 (three years ago) link
Having kids has shaped my life in a good way, imo
Like, when my daughter was born, every trivial stupid selfish impulse I had suddenly slid to the bottom of my priority list. Hell, _I_ slid to number 57 on my priority list, and I feel like that helped me become myself in a new and better way.
That's me, though - no judgment of how other people structure their lives intended or implied
― illumi-naughty (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 22 February 2021 18:21 (three years ago) link
Something I’ve experienced increasingly in middle age: a lack of need to engage in modern popular culture. Hyped things have never been magnified for me generally but more and more hyper things are demagnetized. For instance, in 2020, I think saw like two 2020 movies. Maybe I’ll catch up by 2025, or maybe not.
― We’re Up All Night To Get Lochte (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 22 February 2021 18:27 (three years ago) link
This also goes for other media as well. I’ll get there when the spirit moves me.
― We’re Up All Night To Get Lochte (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 22 February 2021 18:28 (three years ago) link
Something I’ve experienced increasingly in middle age: a lack of need to engage in modern popular culture.
ooooh good one! same here
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 18:45 (three years ago) link
Yeah, absolute same. I know there's an element of "my changing job" and an element of "I'm getting older," but I really attribute a lot of it to how much I used to love "the discourse" and how it's basically turned into the serving bowl from Salo
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:02 (three years ago) link
It's the simile we've all been thinking tbh
― flamboyant goon tie included, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:03 (three years ago) link
The fact that we dedicated like three days to "indie rock woman smashing a guitar makes single Twitter rando angry" is like a good sign that maybe pop culture is stupid and talking about it is for absolute idiots
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:04 (three years ago) link
otoh my brain is now filled with a lot of detailed info about "boring adult" shit ... 10 years ago I could write paragraphs detailing the different categories of hipsters and their attributes and how that relates to Bourdieu's theories of cultural capital but also taking into account the Birmingham School and Stuart Hall's writings ... and now ... I have to google Bourdieu to make sure I spelled it correctly, but I can go on at length about the ramifications of not properly capitalizing and categorizing building repairs as improvements and the potential problems the Rental Assistance Program might have in re documentation and eligibility calculations ... but tbh, I kinda think I'm still cool?
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:09 (three years ago) link
in another decade, will there be an ilx thread: Old Man Yells At Cloud Computing: A Thread for ILXors in their 70s?
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:14 (three years ago) link
Plus no one can stop talking about TV shows
https://i.imgur.com/RQLedlZ.jpg
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:20 (three years ago) link
hey man, good for you if you're tired of pop culture; it sounds fun! dunno if that correlates so much with age though. clearly doesn't as of yet for me!
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:23 (three years ago) link
I like "Can a I Get a Clapper on this Alexa?"
― Rocky Thee Stallion (PBKR), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:24 (three years ago) link
hmm wonder why ILX is watching so much tv right now, instead of going out to concerst and stuff
― if you meh them, shut up (Neanderthal), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:25 (three years ago) link
this is fucking funny content commentary btwhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4SMSCKOXO8
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:27 (three years ago) link
xpost idk movies are better and there's more than 100 years of them to enjoy
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:27 (three years ago) link
Hmmm, did I perhaps misjudge "Videogame Dunkey"? Today is not the day I find out!
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 22 February 2021 19:28 (three years ago) link
lol, you would certainly like it but you will never try it
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:31 (three years ago) link
I am still dying at Totino's Fortnite Training Room
I am 48
― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:31 (three years ago) link
It's odd that I am, on balance, as happy as I've ever been considering I'm now divorced and my kids now live in another state
― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:33 (three years ago) link
(checks notes to see how many films i saw last year)
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:35 (three years ago) link
(+180 apparently)(not seeing much this year though as my focus is fucked)
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:36 (three years ago) link
Dunkey is hilarious but if you DGAF about video games I'm not sure he'll do much for you
― fbclid=fhAZ3l (f. hazel), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:37 (three years ago) link
Ok, it's not the kids or lack thereof that make me feel old, it's the Totino's Fortnite Training Room.
― Rocky Thee Stallion (PBKR), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:39 (three years ago) link
I'm recently 46. Two kids (15 & 12), wife, 3 bedroom house, became a teacher 5 years ago. Have recently bought some Jack Wolfskin accoutrements. I buy too many second hand books. We're vegetarian (recently converted). I can practically hear the scream of Pol Pot's wheels as he comes around the corner for me.We've become financially stable for the first time in the last few months as my wages have finally caught up to where I was before I switched careers. My wife is a maternity carer and adores her job. The money is shit to non-existent but that's fine. I get a vague sense of deferred pride from others about my career while personally feeling conflicted about it for all sorts of reasons. I've enjoyed the relative peace of lockdown and am shitting myself about going back to work. My boy has severe OCD which has had a huge impact on us in the last year or so. We're managing it but I worry about his future.I'd say we've been pretty lucky with immediate death and destruction but I'm well aware it's coming (I'm fighting quoting Larkin). I'm stunned daily by how my job and my own kids deprogramme me of anything bigoted and retrograde (there's nothing like a room full of gobby 14yr olds to politely point out your an old fart) but I still worry about what I don't know and haven't thought through properly (this place is also great for the slow reveal of my ignorance). I don't really have any grand gestures to make but hopefully some tiny changes have a ripple effect.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:53 (three years ago) link
I watch a lot of tv and hardly any movies -- probably because "movies" feel more like "maintaining cultural cred" than like, Better Call Saul or that time-travelling Viking show my similarly middle-aged ex-hipster neighbors raved about that was super funny.
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 20:01 (three years ago) link
for the record, Whiney, and to acknowledge where we were 10 years ago -- said neighbors are a married couple, no kids -- he was in a noise rock band and used to work at a popular record store and she was an editor of an indie culture magazine as well as an editor of local free weekly.
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 20:03 (three years ago) link
I'm honestly still enamored with my relatively recent engagement with the celestial odeon/cablebox torrence of fucking everything which allows for deeper dives into unknown territory and indulging any little curiosity.the question becomes "if i can watch more or less ANYTHING i want to watch anytime i want to watch it, what am i watching?" For the past month or two, that's been Only Connect about 60% of the time.
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 20:06 (three years ago) link
and, um, two guys who play mario real good
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 20:07 (three years ago) link
I tend to watch one or two episodes of a TV show and then get bored with it and give up, and any movie more than 95-100 minutes long can fuck off. Beforeigners (the time-traveling Viking show) was fucking great.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, 22 February 2021 20:13 (three years ago) link
Omg I’m 40 now I think I started posting here when I was like 17?
― kurt schwitterz, Monday, 22 February 2021 20:14 (three years ago) link
kurt, do you want to be in my old person band, Goths at the Beach?
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 20:16 (three years ago) link
sorry ... our band should be called Goths at the Beef
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 20:36 (three years ago) link
42 (43 in april) and very similar. having quit my stressful job last year i'm feeling pretty adrift professionally, while my friends are conquering in their various arenas. hard to imagine what would ever get me excited about work enough to do really well at it.
on the plus side, ten years ago i would have been an emotionally frozen, depressed mess right now. and while i'm not the happiest i've ever been, emotionally life has never been richer for me.
― lukas, Monday, 22 February 2021 20:43 (three years ago) link
I turn 50 in 3 weeks so will age out of this thread. I'm here to offer an alternative view on "women have it better in their 50s", because no one seems to be addressing menopause and how fucking awful it can be for a lot of women.
Its fucking awful. I've never been so fatigued/incapable/fogbrained/angry since I had mono in my 20s. Yay.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:00 (three years ago) link
But on a more positive note, my silver hair looks pretty neat!
43. Don’t have anything figured out. Still grieving the loss of my mother which was the most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. Still feel and look pretty much exactly the same as I did at 33 and mostly I worry that means there’s something wrong with me because shouldn’t have I’ve it figured out by now?
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:06 (three years ago) link
xp That's horrible, and I'm so sorry to hear it! This is a huge topic I'm always up to discuss. I'm having minimal symptoms/side effects but I'm also only mid-way through. If there's enough interest, should we start a thread?
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:06 (three years ago) link
I know nobody ever really figures it out but you know what I mean.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:07 (three years ago) link
I'm in the early stages of "the change" -- and a number of my female friends my age are like, "is it covid or is it menopause?" in terms of trying to make sense of the symptoms ... i have had night sweats, brain fog, anger, and the period that lasted 12 days
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:08 (three years ago) link
Xpost - You should. I’m not there yet but it’s of interest to me and I have some resources I’ve been bookmarking for friends/fire that I can share. The biggest single predictor of age of menopause is your mom’s age when she went through it which means I’m looking at another 10 years. Joy.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:10 (three years ago) link
Perimenopause is a whole thing on its own S and from things I’ve read it can be the worst part for some people!
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:11 (three years ago) link
Yeah I dont want to crap up this thread with health woes haha. But yes, we prob can do so if we have enough of us lady-presenting types!
I remember my mother being constantly angry/weepy/weird/dropping things when she was in her late 40s (we get it early in my fam). So much I didnt know were symptoms. Dry eyes! Flu symptoms! Constant headaches!
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:11 (three years ago) link
my mom was about 50 when she started, but apparently if you are a regular/heavy smoker you are likely to start earlier ... so 46, for me, I guess.
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:12 (three years ago) link
xpost - yes E I've read the same, I guess thats whats happening. Lot of hormonal BS.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:12 (three years ago) link
yeah that's where I'm at ... I am definitely having to pay more attention to those issues that when I was in my 20s/30s my biggest concern was accidentally forming babby
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:14 (three years ago) link
Yeah I bet it is. :/ Def think it’s warrants a thread. Trayce do they call it “the menopause” in Australia? That’s what they call it here in England and it makes me cringe every time because it makes me think of “the curse” or “the change” lol.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:14 (three years ago) link
hahah I remember when I first heard the term "Aunt Flo" and immediately thought of the tv show Alice! and so at some point I associated grits, and the kissing thereof, with menstruation.
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:16 (three years ago) link
Aw, E, I’m sorry about the ongoing grief about your mom...that’s one of the things about getting older I have total fear about.
― horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:16 (three years ago) link
At least in school they show you a little movie about periods. Nobody tells you anything about menopause! It’s only from reading a bunch of stuff in a Facebook group I’m in that I started realizing how little I knew about it and started reading more.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:17 (three years ago) link
my hippie aunt apparently said "the trick is eating root vegetables rich in vitamin E" ... but ... hippie aunt is not always otm
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:19 (three years ago) link
Horseshoe!!! Hi! :) So happy to see you and thank you. That’s sort of another thing nobody talks about and I’ve found it particularly tough but I do know it will get easier with time. Eventually. ❤️
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:20 (three years ago) link
I won't be in my forties for another few years, but I'm already dreading menopause because birth control pretty much made me lose my mind and so I have this lurking fear that menopause will mean being whomped by mental illness.
― Lily Dale, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:25 (three years ago) link
Turned 46 last week. Forties in general have been pretty great, though as my wife says, in a lot of ways I've been in my forties since my twenties. I feel very, very fortunate for a lot of different reasons, but this past year has really underscored how important my wife and kids are to me, frustrating though they may sometimes be (probably because I am in fact the frustrating one, at least most of the time). Our living parents (we each only have our mom) are nowhere near us, our siblings and their families are both in other countries, we don't have particularly large extended families to begin with, but we have a core group of local friends and acquaintances that we've known for a while now, and they often feel like surrogate families.
As far as pop culture consumption goes, I've never been more aware of all the great stuff around me that I just don't seem to have (literal and figurative) time for. From music to TV to movies, there is just so much it's downright inspiring/dumbfounding, but I don't necessarily feel the need to keep up with it all. Leave that to the kids, or anyone else that rates anything down to the decimal place. (I give being 46 ... an 8.1! Best New Age!)
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:25 (three years ago) link
whole board is getting old! i thought the contract i signed guaranteed we were all immune.
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:30 (three years ago) link
Speak for yourself forks - I don’t feel old. Not quite yet.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:36 (three years ago) link
That said - this April it will be 10 years since we FAPed in NY (I still have my little dish you gave me) and that IS kind of nuts.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:37 (three years ago) link
Wasnt there supposed to be a global FAP last year, haha! What a year to have picked.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:40 (three years ago) link
Trayce do they call it “the menopause” in Australia? That’s what they call it here in England and it makes me cringe every time because it makes me think of “the curse” or “the change” lol.
IKR? Yeah older ladies do seem call it that, it sounds anachronistic to me.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:41 (three years ago) link
Ha oh shit was that last year??
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:42 (three years ago) link
Last year was the 20th anniversary of ILX so...
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 22 February 2021 21:47 (three years ago) link
March 1st! It seemed like jokingly long way off when the idea was pitched.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:49 (three years ago) link
dang was that a decade ago? times move.we should def do an east coast NYC thing in the summer/fall once widespread vaccination is a real thing.
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:02 (three years ago) link
pop culture is stupid and talking about it is for absolute idiots
Well yeah, but so is arguing about old Miles Davis records, so.
Idiots r us
― illumi-naughty (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:10 (three years ago) link
I will 100% be in a old person goth band with you, Sarah, but we will have to work pretty hard to be older than the Alter De Fey dudes.
― kurt schwitterz, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:26 (three years ago) link
hahahahaha we could enlist Eth@n.
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:30 (three years ago) link
lol ... totally unnecessary googleproofing ... as there are lots of dudes named Ethan and our Ethan doesn't read ilx, and is on my list of "friends i love dearly who would be horrible ilxors"
― sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:31 (three years ago) link
I'm turning 50 next year! Forties have been pretty good, other than this last year, which actually ended up not that bad either. We got a new bigger house, and we're about to get a dog, which is exciting. Working for a big tech company means I don't worry much about money these days, which is, I have to say, a HUGE weight lifted. On the physical side, my knees hurt all the time, and it's been a huge bummer not being able to swim for exercise. I got shingles a few weeks ago, which seems ahead-of-schedule, but ended up being very mild. I'm still making lots music (music with the band, making dance music, DJing, jamming on Endlesss), and the new house means I have a space to do so. I watch a ton of TV these days too, and have been getting into DJs on Twitch on the weekends. I try not to think about the looming deaths ahead too much. I assume I'll slowly adjust to the reality of my 50s and 60s as I did to my 40s.
― DJI, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:11 (three years ago) link
I keep looking at all of the celebrity deaths where the celebrities in question were younger than my parents and cringing
― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:14 (three years ago) link
You don’t have to be in your 40s for that head trip tbh
― Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:17 (three years ago) link
(My parents are around 70 and in excellent health but sheesh.)
― Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:18 (three years ago) link
(Sheesh at life not DJP)
Significant aging benchmarks for a sports fan are when you are older than the oldest players retiring and now older than many coaches being hired.
― Rocky Thee Stallion (PBKR), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 12:54 (three years ago) link
Tom Brady is younger than me.
Super Bowl Sunday, we were all "Well, damn. Brett Favre must've been like 47 when he retired."
Nope. That old goat was 41 when he played his last game.
― pplains, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 13:29 (three years ago) link
I am forty. My sadness at this age is regret for the time I wasted on a stupid career (screenwriting) that fed my ego but not soul, and how my ambition in that career meant that I didn’t properly celebrate my successes.The joy of this age is finding little domestic pleasures everywhere, which sum up to something like contentment.
― america's favorite (remy bean), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 13:32 (three years ago) link
I know the next decade will be tough, as my older relatives die off. However, as I am watching work them through chronic illnesses now, I recognize that death is not the incomprehensible, total loss that I once thought it would be.
― america's favorite (remy bean), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 13:34 (three years ago) link
is it weird that one of the biggest reasons I've aspired to a successful long-term romantic relationship is so I wouldn't be alone when my parents die?
― lukas, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:10 (three years ago) link
if it's weird, I am weird with you.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:36 (three years ago) link
right? I'm going to need someone to cope with the wreck that I'll be.
― lukas, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:40 (three years ago) link
I'm an only child so it's like .... worse? I do have a cousin that I'm close to though.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:42 (three years ago) link
Both of my wife's parents are dead, and so is my dad. It was rougher when it was her folks (I didn't like my dad and he didn't like me). Especially her mom, who died of stomach cancer when my wife was in her early thirties, way too young to be losing a parent. Her dad lived another decade or so, then died of a whole bunch of things — emphysema, stomach problems, pancreatitis/diabetes, just kind of total bodily collapse over the course of several months. It was ugly and prolonged. My dad was a diabetic, and one day he suffered bleeding on his brain and went into a coma he never came out of. My stepmother pulled the plug on him on Valentine's Day, and I've never been sure whether that was a gesture of kindness or a fuck-you. (I haven't spoken to her since his death.)
― but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:44 (three years ago) link
My father died in 2008 after a month in hospital, my mother in 2019 after more than a decade with on-and-off lymphoma. I worried a lot beforehand about their deaths, as a kid, as a teen, as an adult. Actually going through the experience is different than the fear of it, though. I found that dealing with the particulars of the situation is easier than fearing the unknown.Also, as I mentioned above, it will give different perspectives to your own life.
― Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:20 (three years ago) link
the one takeaway from caring for my mother after a near fatal stroke: have your finances in order. i'm not going to say dealing with the financial mess she had going on was as upsetting as the stroke itself. but it was close.
― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:28 (three years ago) link
if it's weird, I am weird with you
co-sign, whatever old age is I really would not like to face it alone, especially after this past year
― fbclid=fhAZ3l (f. hazel), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:39 (three years ago) link
I am ineligible for this thread but have perspective on sick/dying parents, i like remys takeaway and some of what halfway there but for you's experience chimes with my own in re the particulars carrying you along
― e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:53 (three years ago) link
Morbid to suggest a thread hey :/
― e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:54 (three years ago) link
Tehre is an "ageing parents" thread somewhere.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 25 February 2021 04:43 (three years ago) link
xp That's horrible, and I'm so sorry to hear it! This is a huge topic I'm always up to discuss. I'm having minimal symptoms/side effects but I'm also only mid-way through. If there's enough interest, should we start a thread?― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:06 (three days ago)
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:06 (three days ago)
would totally join this thread if it exists
― colette, Thursday, 25 February 2021 10:14 (three years ago) link
fyi colette: There Will Not Be Blood: What Menopause Means to You
― ledge, Thursday, 25 February 2021 10:18 (three years ago) link
thanks ledge, I missed that!
― colette, Thursday, 25 February 2021 14:47 (three years ago) link
This, then, can remain the male menopause thread.
― Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 25 February 2021 15:48 (three years ago) link
Porter geezer men o pause
― e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 February 2021 16:02 (three years ago) link
cholesterol was 252. got put on crestor temporarily.
weirdly, the LDL number was only 125, but I guess stuff like VLDL bumped the non-HDL number significantly higher.
I'm also heavier than I've ever been (217 pounds). I weighed 135 when I graduated high school, and I'm 6'0.
guess it's time to lay off the chips and cookies.
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:56 (three years ago) link
I have similar body (and wallet woes) of late.
Two visits. First, thanks to a heavily blocked right ear that refused to clear despite roughly four gallons of olive oil, to an audiologist who cleared it and charged me £95 for the bother. Second, to the optician, after some fatigue and headaches in the last month, to find out my prescription has changed markedly, I need varifocals and that'll be £365 for the two pairs thanks very much please bend over.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 25 February 2021 19:40 (three years ago) link
i'm not 40 yet but one of the weird ways i'm older than i should be is that i've already mourned the loss of my parents. i don't think watching them die will be sad for ne, other than bringing up old trauma and being logistically tiring. in many other ways i am still a child though.
― map ca. 1890 (map), Thursday, 25 February 2021 19:59 (three years ago) link
I've worn glasses since I was 17, but having to get progressive lenses (I assume that is what varifocals are) was such a drag (not as much as not being able to read).
― perhaps I myself was the object of my search (PBKR), Thursday, 25 February 2021 23:15 (three years ago) link
yyyyyeah, i'm sticking to taking my glasses off for the moment but this is a bummer
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 25 February 2021 23:36 (three years ago) link
Oddly enough -- but in a way I can live with -- my doctor said it would be simpler for me just to have more than one pair! So I have my 'regular' reading glasses for every day, computer work and so forth, but when it comes to reading books I use a separate pair.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 00:24 (three years ago) link
(And I've had glasses since I was like four or so, so this was no skin off my nose either way.)
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 00:25 (three years ago) link
I mean its probably cumulatively an enormous pile of skin off yr nose tbf
― e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Friday, 26 February 2021 00:37 (three years ago) link
Ned, I did the multiple pairs of glasses thing for a few years (one for distance,one for reading,one for computer work,one for eating) until I also got sunglasses versions of distance and reading and that was one too many to deal with. To train my eyes/brain for multifocal lenses I started with lined bifocals, then moved to progressive lenses.
― Jaq, Friday, 26 February 2021 01:13 (three years ago) link
Ha, funnily enough I'm strongly considering the sunglasses route myself, just because. I think I can manage for the most part but we'll see. I also kinda like varying it up since that means having fun with multiple frames...
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 01:26 (three years ago) link
My only glasses right now are an "office pair." Computer on the top, reading on the bottom. Took some getting used to but now I love them and cannot function without them.
― display names are for n00bs (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 26 February 2021 01:32 (three years ago) link
I still don’t need glasses for anything, fear my mutant power
― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Friday, 26 February 2021 03:10 (three years ago) link
Oh so you're the guy
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 03:16 (three years ago) link
I need glasses to drive as of a few years ago -- but just for one eye. ... did not fancy a monocle.
― sarahell, Friday, 26 February 2021 03:30 (three years ago) link
They’re due for a comeback
― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 26 February 2021 03:31 (three years ago) link
i mean ... maybe I could combine it with the Marlene Dietrich / weimar dapper cabaret style ... 1930s fashion is definitely on the rise
― sarahell, Friday, 26 February 2021 03:37 (three years ago) link
Grandad wore a monocle, he was born in 1903 however.
― Halfway there but for you, Friday, 26 February 2021 04:12 (three years ago) link
I've somehow managed to stretch a prescription from like, prior to a year ago through the last year. I think I had leftover contact lenses from prior to last year, and I keep reminding myself I need to go to the eye doctor, as my 'backup glasses' disappeared 3 years ago
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Friday, 26 February 2021 05:15 (three years ago) link
I get motion sickness from all sorts of things (motion, mainly) so I'm assuming I'm going to feel really rough getting used to varifocals. Better than headaches, probably.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Friday, 26 February 2021 18:35 (three years ago) link
Chinaski - I don't have that problem, but I picked mine up on a Friday afternoon and that evening was ready to take them back - going down stairs in particular was hairy - but by the end of the weekend my eyes had completely adjusted. You will be surprised how quickly and automatically your brain adjusts.
― perhaps I myself was the object of my search (PBKR), Friday, 26 February 2021 18:48 (three years ago) link
Losing eyesight is so annoying. I'm nearsighted so I've worn glasses and contacts forever, but in the past two years I can't see the little print anymore--that is, print that I used to be able to read looks so little to me now. I bought a pair of reading glasses to wear over my contacts but they give me a headache. Last year the optometrist suggested that I get some updated form of more expensive contacts (bifocal/trifocal I can't remember) but I told him I'd rather wait. I think this year I will have to bite the bullet though.
― Virginia Plain, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:17 (three years ago) link
Cheers PBKR that's really good to hear.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Saturday, 27 February 2021 09:43 (three years ago) link
I'm 40 and I'm not sure how it happened. I remember a friend of my parents turning 40, and she was a proper grown up woman with a husband and kids and a house and they ran a golf club. A GOLF CLUB ffs. And she taught me the flute and played tennis on the weekends with my mum.
I really am not that person. In fact it feels like my life has been one of arrested development, either through lack of want to grow up or lack of open doors. Things like mortgages just haven't been as easy to access as they were for my parents. My dad was able to buy his first flat in his mid-life twenties before meeting my mum.
Still, perhaps it's a trade-off. I don't feel forty in the same way as my patents' aforementioned friend. I'm eating better and exercising more than I did in my early thirties, and if anything I feel healthier and more sprightly than ever before. Fingers crossed, I'm not experiencing any of the usual woes of ageing; bad knees, eyesight, thinning hair etc, and I'm thankful for that.
Lockdown has been a grind, but it's meant that rather than dolefully visiting the gym on my way home from work twice a week, I now look forward to getting out of my house and going for runs. I listen to online courses on my runs, so I feel like I'm getting fitter and smarter at the same time.
I just sometimes wish I felt more grown-up in mindset so I could assert myself a bit better in achieving all the things I want as a mature person.
I can't remember exactly when I went from feeling too young to be a proper grown up to feeling like I'm too old to be a "young person". Perhaps I feel both ways right now. Perhaps this is it.
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Saturday, 27 February 2021 11:31 (three years ago) link
Sorry for typos, maybe getting a better phone would open more doors for me
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Saturday, 27 February 2021 11:32 (three years ago) link
I have a wife and kids and a house (though for a long time - till i was in my forties! - i thought I wouldn't) and I don't feel like that person. I don't run a golf club though, maybe if I did I would. Or is it the other way round, do you have to be that kind of person to run golf clubs?
― ledge, Saturday, 27 February 2021 11:38 (three years ago) link
I was going into a rage the other day because I couldn't even read the tiny instructions on some washing machine cleaner fluid and then was even struggling to read it with my reading glasses on and shining an led torch onto the writing and cursing and shouting - it was like when you have an eye test and the optician puts up letters that are so tiny they might as well be ants. For goodness sake the fucking text needs to be much larger you ageist, ableist wankers at Dettol packaging design.
― calzino, Saturday, 27 February 2021 11:48 (three years ago) link
Xp well.. I have a house, it's just not mine. These friends of my parents were likely fairly well off, but not sure of their backgrounds really. Still, I don't think it was unusual for someone like my dad to have been the sole owner of a flat at his age. Being able to afford a mortgage certainly affects other life decisions that push one into the normative model of adulthood
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Saturday, 27 February 2021 11:58 (three years ago) link
Then again I don't think such a model was one I ever wanted to follow. I didn't have a particularly unhappy upbringing, but the comfy suburban family lifestyle wasn't something I ever really coveted since that was what I'd always known till I was ready to leave home
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Saturday, 27 February 2021 12:01 (three years ago) link
I do worry that in five or ten years it could be what I want though, and I won't have made enough plans to be anywhere close to switching into it. Ah well, the future is the future *fucks off to spin afrobeats tunes in his room*
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Saturday, 27 February 2021 12:03 (three years ago) link
VP, same thing happened to me..
I had the 'bifocal' contact lenses suggested, I also had the 'one lens for reading, the other for distance.'
I tried the latter, it was mmmmmm OK I guess.
Now I have both long sight lenses, and cheap reading glasses over the top. I did have the headachyness, but eventually got the right strength (+1.50) and decent quality (renaldi strasbourg, about £10)
Some of the £1 ones are OK, some are awful, try five different and you'll probably get a good pair
― Mark G, Saturday, 27 February 2021 12:42 (three years ago) link
dog latin, your comment makes me think of "Song About 'Rocks Off'" by Scott Miller:
They showed me pictures, all I rememberFrom before being too old was being too young
― Halfway there but for you, Saturday, 27 February 2021 16:19 (three years ago) link
So I got my varifocals and I think I'm slowly getting used to them. In the classroom is probably the weirdest as I don't really need them for middle and distance stuff, so I just feel cut-off (and half the world is blurry). Outside also weird for the same reason. And I'm still getting used to reading at weird angles.
On the plus side, I've not had a single headache so that's good.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Monday, 15 March 2021 18:36 (three years ago) link
My latest middle-aged day. I went to the dump (because I'm always going to the dump. I practically have a season ticket and the blokes there know me by name) and got rid of an old bed and a shit ton of cardboard because Shiva lives in our garage and likes to create cardboard when they're bored creating worlds. Then I went to the garden centre to check when I was going to die and to buy some plants for my wife for mothers' day and some pots for my seedlings. On the way back through the garage to put the hefty bags of topsoil in the garden, I knocked with my elbow the peg bag off the freezer into the recycling bin and ALL the pegs fell deep into the bin. I shouted, loudly, 'I'm just trying to be a good man!' and kicked the bin which properly exploded, spraying recycling and pegs all around the garage.
Nb, I wasn't wearing my glasses; this may or may not have had a bearing on what followed.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Monday, 15 March 2021 18:44 (three years ago) link
That's my dark, gritty reboot of American Beauty.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Monday, 15 March 2021 18:45 (three years ago) link
striking imagery
― Canon in Deez (silby), Monday, 15 March 2021 18:45 (three years ago) link
found out i already have tiny cataracts, and got put on a statin within a week of each other.
#thisis40
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Monday, 15 March 2021 18:50 (three years ago) link
Amazing post by Chinaski.
Hope you're okay Neanderthal
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Monday, 15 March 2021 19:27 (three years ago) link
i'm fine. I'm sedentary and dont' eat well so I'm working on both.
cataracts = LOL my entire family is blind.
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Monday, 15 March 2021 19:29 (three years ago) link
I'm now a member of this illustrious group of ilxors. Currently feeling rather upbeat about it all, even if celebrations are rather curtailed for the moment for obvious reasons.
― brain (krakow), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 12:59 (three years ago) link
Lol, 40s: in like a lion, out like a lamb :)
― Deicide at Chuck E. Cheese (PBKR), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 13:01 (three years ago) link
Welcome. Personally I am twelve days away from aging out.
Still feeling approximately 19, mentally. My body does not agree.
― cardio free europe (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 13:07 (three years ago) link
They let anyone in here these days huh
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 17:40 (two years ago) link
There goes the neighbourhood.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 17:53 (two years ago) link
maybe just as well i’m getting out soon
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 7 July 2021 18:01 (two years ago) link
Fleeing is a great word all the same, and underused imo
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 18:07 (two years ago) link
Do you want any spoilers, or do you just want to wait and find out on your own?
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 7 July 2021 18:18 (two years ago) link
Ive read the leaflets and want to go back
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 18:33 (two years ago) link
Early 40s are good numbers.40 = WD-4041 = Sum 4142 = Answer to ultimate question of life, the universe & everything43 = Harry Partch's 43-tone scale of just intonation44 = Obama45 = 45rpm
― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 18:34 (two years ago) link
although two of those are bad actually
― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 18:35 (two years ago) link
49 is OK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_qHU_6Ofc0
― but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 18:39 (two years ago) link
46 this summer, help me out
― burnt hombre (stevie), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 19:07 (two years ago) link
just ordered first paor of dedicated reading glasses after getting first pair of varifocals last autumn. man should not have to extend arm to full length to read cooking instructions on bag of pasta.
― burnt hombre (stevie), Wednesday, 7 July 2021 19:08 (two years ago) link
45 = 45rpm
I had a 33 1/3 birthday party (4 months after my 33rd obv) where we played LPs
looking forward to playing dance 12"s at my 45th in a couple years
― lukas, Wednesday, 7 July 2021 19:20 (two years ago) link
i was looking for one for 47 and am now reading about the irish potato famine
― joygoat, Thursday, 8 July 2021 00:29 (two years ago) link
Specifically, you want to talk about the famine?
― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Thursday, 8 July 2021 00:51 (two years ago) link
empty prayer, empty mouths, combien reactionempty prayer, empty mouths, talk about the famine
― mookieproof, Thursday, 8 July 2021 00:52 (two years ago) link
Recently sometimes finding it hard to focus on small text
― calstars, Saturday, 23 October 2021 18:11 (two years ago) link
Eg zing fucking touch
― calstars, Saturday, 23 October 2021 18:12 (two years ago) link
I have an eye test booked in for mid November and I find myself holding small text at odd distances away from me compared to just over two years ago. My prescription hasn't changed in over ten years but I think it'll change this time. Can't tell if I'm getting more or less short-sigthed though.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 23 October 2021 18:55 (two years ago) link
I have a buddy whose eye doctor finally told him to get reading glasses last year, and when my friend pushed back, the eye doctor said, don't complain, you're almost 50, you've had a good run.
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:04 (two years ago) link
aged 42 I now have my first pair of glasses, cannot read anything closer than about a foot away, and the distance is getting bigger all the time.
― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:21 (two years ago) link
I'm 48 and no sign of the apparently nearly inevitable presbyopia yet but thanks to that link I read a few weeks ago I now know what to expect and how best to deal with it.
― namaste darkness my old friend (ledge), Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:22 (two years ago) link
I also can't focus on small text like I used to, and if I get up too fast, I get dizzy.
― Milm & Foovies (Eric H.), Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:23 (two years ago) link
I've needed reading glasses since my 30's and never really got used to not being able to read small text. Like I still do a futile attempt at reading it before getting the reading glasses out every time just to feel infuriated!
― calzino, Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:26 (two years ago) link
it could always be worse. Towards the end Monet was still doing his work half blind and his retina so gone it was only able to take in 3 colours, or summat like that.
― calzino, Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:33 (two years ago) link
Fuck glasses
― calstars, Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:36 (two years ago) link
I've totally adjusted to my varifocals and now wear them all the time (I'm 46). My eyesight is still decent (according to the optician) but has deteriorated enough that the compensatory work my brain has to do to fill the gap is causing eyestrain (and gnarly headaches). So it goes.The only time my glasses are rubbish is in twilight when I'm better off without.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Saturday, 23 October 2021 19:56 (two years ago) link
I don't think I have that presby thing going on yet (47 in 2 weeks), but I do notice that my field of vision has gotten narrower in the past few years ... like text gets blurrier at angles more and more acute over the past year or so. I might have to get one of those stupid clippy paper holder things to put next to the computer.
― sarahell, Saturday, 23 October 2021 21:38 (two years ago) link
Also, point of pride, I have not lost or damaged the driving glasses I had to get 3 years ago! I have totally gotten used to putting them on every time I drive somewhere. They make me look like an indie librarian, and I am okay with that look.
― sarahell, Saturday, 23 October 2021 21:41 (two years ago) link
My eyesight got quickly and progressively worse through my teens (to the point that I'm effectively blind without corrective lenses), but they've barely changed at all since then (44 now). Just got 'em checked a couple weeks back and my prescription is still the same it's been for years and years. I guess that's lucky. I'll take it. Just takes me a bit longer to refocus when shifting from, say, reading to looking at something across the room.
― (a picture of a defecating pig) (Old Lunch), Saturday, 23 October 2021 21:53 (two years ago) link
The last time I was at the eye doctor I complained about difficulty with tiny text, with the phone number on the back of my credit card as a prime example.
The eye doctor explained that I’d just need to slide my glasses down on my nose a bit.
“Oh, like older people do?” I asked.
We both had a moment - he’s about the same age I am and also wears glasses - then shared a rueful laugh.
― Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Saturday, 23 October 2021 22:04 (two years ago) link
I’m 44
― Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Saturday, 23 October 2021 22:06 (two years ago) link
bit longer to refocus
I particularly notice this when I'm switching between text on two monitors that are at different distances. It's like waiting for a 90s camcorder to autofocus.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 23 October 2021 22:07 (two years ago) link
I am nearsighted and have been wearing glasses since the third grade, but I only need them to see things at a distance (like, to read the spines of books on a shelf across the room). I take them off to read or to work on my computer; always have. At this point (gonna be 50 in December, plus diabetic) feeling kinda lucky my eyes aren't worse.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 23 October 2021 22:17 (two years ago) link
As someone who has worn glasses since second grade and has a very heavy perscription, I am glad that I am currently holding steady.
However, three acquaintances have experienced retinals detachments in the past year. This is freaking me out.
One is younger and got hit with a champagne cork. Tough, but he'll be ok.
One has had diabetes since childhood (a risk factor) but a medicine mixup appears to have permenently damaged one eye.
One is a photographer w no risks and it happened with no warning, and left her with damaged eyesight.
For me, I have a huge risk of this happening.
― fajita seas, Sunday, 24 October 2021 02:10 (two years ago) link
man everything is falling apart lately: feet, hearing, vision, stomach, breathing, neck, shouldersurgery in a week or two for the last means it will come to the top of the pile for at least the entirety of november. second time's the charm.
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 24 October 2021 15:04 (two years ago) link
Digital displays aside, it is real pleasure to focus on text on a crisply printed page
― calstars, Sunday, 24 October 2021 16:30 (two years ago) link
I either have a bunion or something more sinister on left foot. Both joint of big toe and bottom of foot are inflamed and swelling is immense.
Bleh.
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 December 2021 07:38 (two years ago) link
Still feeling relatively physically okay - not much different to ten years ago, other than maybe a bit of hip pain after running. That said, the world seems to have changed a lot since lockdown and it's a strange thing, this temporal distortion. I now often feel like the oldest person in the room when I go out to pubs or gigs - one of the old heads (unless it's like Saint Etienne the other day in which case I was one of the youngest). I'm single again after a two-and-a-half year relationship, so out of boredom thought I'd check out and see what the craic was on Tinder. I was struck by how much older everyone roughly my age suddenly seemed to be compared to when I last used it. I deleted the app after a day. Is there a word for this, like "sonder"? This sudden realisation that "yes, there's no denying you're a different person to who you once were and no going back"
― Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Thursday, 9 December 2021 12:42 (two years ago) link
Some minor foot issues cropping up for me too. I walk a lot and have mysterious pains now and then. Also my wife gave me a wart that won’t go away
― calstars, Thursday, 9 December 2021 13:01 (two years ago) link
I too am amazed sometimes by how old people my age are.
― pplains, Thursday, 9 December 2021 14:25 (two years ago) link
I think it's a common well documented thing, especially for people over pension age, to see other people in public and think of them as "old codgers" and to realise they're in the same age bracket
― Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Thursday, 9 December 2021 14:53 (two years ago) link
Wife teasing John Lennon last night, and I was all "LISTEN, the man was killed 21 years ago tonight. Show some respect."
She looked at me for a few beats, and then asked, "Twenty-one years ago?"
Seems like only 21 years!
― pplains, Thursday, 9 December 2021 14:59 (two years ago) link
Hate to say it Neanderthal but that sounds goutish
― Jaq, Thursday, 9 December 2021 15:05 (two years ago) link
That's what all my friends said too. Doc time!
Lol pplains
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 December 2021 15:07 (two years ago) link
One of the fun things I learned over the pandemic is that there is a type of inherited arthritis that is definitely not gout, but presents with classic gout symptoms and is not necessarily caused by dietary issues that we traditionally associate with gout. That was a fun thing to learn!
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 9 December 2021 15:32 (two years ago) link
Sinister, you say?
― tvod+ (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 9 December 2021 15:38 (two years ago) link
When my kid got his vaccine shot there was a guy in front of us picking up a prescription and gave his birth date - which was in 1974, same year I was born. But he looked ancient, like serious old-man old. I thought maybe I was just ignoring my own self but on the way out of the store my wife was like 'holy shit that guy was your age but looked 75'
― joygoat, Thursday, 9 December 2021 19:40 (two years ago) link
Also i had a couple of gout outbreaks 15 years ago and have been taking a prescription ever since and I never even think about it. The drug costs like $2 a month because it's been around since the 1960s and has zero side effects for me.
― joygoat, Thursday, 9 December 2021 19:45 (two years ago) link
i'm at an ortho right now, just got x-rayed, seeing what's what. can barely walk on my foot rn.
mom has a broken toe as well. the Neanderthals are near extinction.
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 December 2021 19:54 (two years ago) link
we'll never escape the wooly mammoth now
joygoat - what is your prescription, if I might ask?
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 9 December 2021 20:02 (two years ago) link
It's gout.
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 December 2021 20:11 (two years ago) link
The good news is there are plenty of options to explore, good luck.
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 9 December 2021 20:12 (two years ago) link
Ya giving me Prednisone atm for da swelling
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 December 2021 20:15 (two years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mjNY53ORuA
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 9 December 2021 22:23 (two years ago) link
i take allopurinol
― joygoat, Thursday, 9 December 2021 23:37 (two years ago) link
Wife teasing John Lennon last night, and I was all "LISTEN, the man was killed 21 years ago tonight. Show some respect."She looked at me for a few beats, and then asked, _"Twenty-one_ years ago?"Seems like only 21 years!
― Raw Like Siouxsie (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 10 December 2021 05:37 (two years ago) link
John Lennon's death is now old enough for this thread!
― Mark G, Friday, 10 December 2021 10:54 (two years ago) link
Old enough to know better.
― Raw Like Siouxsie (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 10 December 2021 15:19 (two years ago) link
Was my guess, just curious. Works great for many people I've heard. Kinda frustrated because my doc has been hesitant to prescribe that because I don't have "true gout" apparently. I have a prescription for when I have a flare, but haven't had one in more than two years to worry about.
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 10 December 2021 15:23 (two years ago) link
I fell on some ice a few days ago. My wrist hurt a little in the immediate aftermath, but the next day I woke up feeling like I'd been savagely beaten
― rob, Friday, 10 December 2021 15:31 (two years ago) link
death to false gout
the prednisone has helped a ton but my stomach doesn't like it. i'm still walking with an awkward limp but a little more swelling reduction and that's fixed
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:12 (two years ago) link
I know all the jokes about gout and what is historically represents, but holy shit that joint inflammation is some of the most intense pain I've felt in my life. The first time it ever hit me, before I was able to see a doctor and get anything prescribed, was in a knee about six years ago and every step was excruciating.
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:19 (two years ago) link
once it got to lifting my foot and putting a shoe on hurting like fuck yesterday is when i decided to go to the doc.
I learned at least 20 of my friends have gout, when I described my symptoms on FB. they all swore by cherry juice.
gonna try it.
i haven't had much in the way of meat or alcohol in two days.
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:25 (two years ago) link
Heard that about cherries and cherry juice, but that didn't work for me (assuming since it's the false gout or whatever).
What was most frustrating for me is that it had virtually nothing to do with my diet. I'd talk to people with gout and they all described how they could almost always feel it coming on and knew the food triggers for it, but I didn't have that experience at all. Like my last flare from a couple years ago came right in the middle of one of my healthiest food streaks in a long time where I was completely off red meat and wasn't drinking alcohol at all. But in more recent pandemic years when I've been, uh, less good about my diet, absolutely no issues. It's weird.
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:31 (two years ago) link
I don't know how I DON'T have gout tbh. Seriously.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:04 (two years ago) link
Anyway aging is a shark you have to punch in the nose every day. Hard. Stretch like your life depends on it (you will not have time to do this).
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:05 (two years ago) link
this is all otm
My son's school flag football team had an end of season thing a few weeks ago and roped some of the parents into playing against the kids. It was last minute and I did not stretch at all. Holy shit did I pay for that.
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:11 (two years ago) link
Stretching before a walk has recently become really important, or my lower back lets me know in no uncertain terms that I should’ve stretched.
― Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:12 (two years ago) link
Absolutely no one definitely not me:My lower back: You thought you were getting out of this bed without stretching? That's cute.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:18 (two years ago) link
Lol yes
― Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:24 (two years ago) link
Eat the wrong things on day one, feel slightly ill/high on day two
― Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:25 (two years ago) link
about to turn 46 and i for sure feel like most people my age that I encounter seem so much older. These people have kids already out of college and shit, it's weird!
― (•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:46 (two years ago) link
Yeah it always blows my mind anew a little bit when I realize that when my dad was my age, I was just about to start grad school!
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:49 (two years ago) link
I am relatively back pain-free, which I'm very glad about, but my shoulders have been hurting for several months now, which is not the best feeling to wake up to.
Only got one week left in this thread...
― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, 10 December 2021 18:56 (two years ago) link
I've got a kid doing his GCSEs (16 in 2 months) and it blows my mind every day. I believe this knowledge is supposed to 'ground me' but nope, I find myself floating freer and further from reality every day.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Friday, 10 December 2021 19:06 (two years ago) link
I have friends whomst are roughly my age who I know through the music scene who are grandparents. That's mindboggling
― Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Friday, 10 December 2021 19:08 (two years ago) link
Yeah, one of my friends has just become a grandmother at 45. Wtf.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Friday, 10 December 2021 19:09 (two years ago) link
chacun a son gout
― fetter, Friday, 10 December 2021 19:11 (two years ago) link
hashtag skintag
Gout poser
― calstars, Friday, 10 December 2021 19:53 (two years ago) link
I'm a year older than the biological grandmother of my adopted son.
Most of my friends/peer group didn't have kids until well into their 30s, so it's weird that my neighbors had kids in their very early 20s (unusual for all the academics I know) and are younger than me with one of their kids off to college already. They're going to be 40 year old empty-nesters in a year or two which blows my mind because my son wasn't born until I was 40.
― joygoat, Friday, 10 December 2021 20:17 (two years ago) link
I'm coming up on 25 years in the same apartment ... friend from college posted about the demise of their long-owned toaster oven, and I realized that I had the same model of toaster oven and it is actually older than their now deceased toaster oven. I have adult friends who are younger than my toaster oven.
I am 47 now and will take hot baths to reduce stiffness and aches in my knees. I think my mom started having arthritis in her knees when she was approximately my age, but when my mom was my age, I was away at college, so I don't know this for a fact.
― sarahell, Sunday, 12 December 2021 03:05 (two years ago) link
* I purchased this toaster oven around the time I moved into this apartment
― sarahell, Sunday, 12 December 2021 03:06 (two years ago) link
Our endless numbered days
― calstars, Sunday, 12 December 2021 03:15 (two years ago) link
swelling almost completely gone on my foot. thank god!
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 December 2021 03:24 (two years ago) link
One of the many things I appreciate about the Peloton app (the classes, not the bike) is how much they emphasize stretching. Religiously.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 12 December 2021 04:49 (two years ago) link
barely BARELY into the next leg of my shoulder surgery recovery. Four weeks 24/7 in a brace and six in a sling, FUCK YOU. I am cheating on this last week and hoping it doesn't bite me in the ass but hey i work from home. Will see what my new PT guy tells me tomorrow. Waking up four times a night represents good sleep at this point.
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 14 December 2021 03:50 (two years ago) link
My partner had two surgeries, same shoulder, this summer and it was hellish. Mind your shoulders, ppl.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 14 December 2021 04:46 (two years ago) link
i mean it is not fun
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 14 December 2021 05:20 (two years ago) link
Got an energetic dog a fortnight ago and my knees are doing most of the barking by now
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 December 2021 07:52 (two years ago) link
which variety of energetic dog or puppy would this be? I post this as my 3 year old vgb is sat at other side of kitchen waiting for his walk in a calm + composed manner that t'wasn't always thus.
― calzino, Tuesday, 14 December 2021 08:48 (two years ago) link
Collie mix (yet to ascertain whether alsatian or doberman somewhere in there and almost afraid to find out) a year and a bit old
She's relatively well behaved but she wants walking and plenty of it
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 December 2021 13:20 (two years ago) link
See you kids later — I'm off to the next age bracket!
― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, 17 December 2021 14:10 (two years ago) link
Happy birthday unperson. Enjoy the rite of caroussel
― Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Friday, 17 December 2021 20:03 (two years ago) link
You did it!
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 17 December 2021 20:18 (two years ago) link
the fact that you are a Sagittarius explains a lot
― sarahell, Friday, 17 December 2021 20:37 (two years ago) link
Happy birthday unperson. Same day as my wife and daughter
― Heez, Friday, 17 December 2021 21:20 (two years ago) link
who will be the last ilxor standing in this thread
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 19 December 2021 00:05 (two years ago) link
oh speaking of last ilxor standing -- does anyone have any recommendations for insoles?
― sarahell, Sunday, 19 December 2021 01:59 (two years ago) link
Insoles - very personal, depends on your feet. Zappos let’s you return them for free so you can try out a few styles. Or maybe try them in a store for runners.
― that's not my post, Sunday, 19 December 2021 02:30 (two years ago) link
Custom orthotics, if your insurance covers them
― eatandoph (Neue Jesse Schule), Sunday, 19 December 2021 02:39 (two years ago) link
yeah, though mine are fucking hurting as i'm breaking them in.
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 19 December 2021 06:30 (two years ago) link
o hai pinched nerve in my neck, glad to have you for your semi-annual appointment.
driving was sure fun today
― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 December 2021 03:16 (two years ago) link
If the main problem is your having high arches that complain about the minimal arch support in the insoles that shoe manufacturers provide, you can try Superfeet 'green' insoles and see if they do the trick. No guarantee from me, just that I had success with this approach.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, 30 December 2021 04:07 (two years ago) link
I have the opposite of high arches
― sarahell, Thursday, 30 December 2021 04:25 (two years ago) link
Finally got my hair cut after growing it for two years since the pandemic and while I like the haircut, I feel I look visibly more middle aged than last time it was this short
― Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Thursday, 30 December 2021 13:35 (two years ago) link
Where the fifties thread at? I am on the fast-track (2 months)
― Maresn3st, Thursday, 30 December 2021 14:07 (two years ago) link
FIfties thread is hard to find because of some weird typological infelicities but I will take a look see and get right back to you.
― Heatmiserlou (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 30 December 2021 14:19 (two years ago) link
― Heatmiserlou (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 30 December 2021 14:21 (two years ago) link
And, for the rest of us… How did I get here?? (Thread for ILXors in their 60s)
― Mark G, Thursday, 30 December 2021 15:19 (two years ago) link
XP - Thank you James!
― Maresn3st, Thursday, 30 December 2021 16:10 (two years ago) link
I'll take unperson's spot in Feb, glad there was an opening.
― change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 30 December 2021 17:08 (two years ago) link
You're quite welcome, Maresn3st.
― Heatmiserlou (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 30 December 2021 17:11 (two years ago) link
my pinched nerve got very painful as I tried to sleep and I got one hour of sleep. I got up to take a warm shower and intense pain started radiating down my left arm after standing up, and it wasn't getting any better, even in the shower. started hyperventilating until that stopped and became more of a dull ache in my back again.
usually by now it's back to normal, and I couldn't call out thanks to the skeleton crew at work today (i've been busier than usual), so tomorrow perhaps the ortho it is.
― they were written with a ouija board and a rhyming dictionary (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 December 2021 20:56 (two years ago) link
I've been using (non custom) orthotics for several years but didn't prevent Achilles tendonitis. Bound to open being that I hike 800-1000 miles per year and play basketball 2-3x/week. Just glad it doesn't stop me from doing those things. Yet.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 30 December 2021 21:22 (two years ago) link
Actually just got some inserts specifically for heel problems. And some straps to go around Achilles. Will test them both out on new years hike.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 30 December 2021 21:24 (two years ago) link
Hi
― change display name (Jordan), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 20:46 (two years ago) link
Velcome
― he's very big in the region of my butthole (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 21:16 (two years ago) link
ah, new(ish) blood
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 21:25 (two years ago) link
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/5/5d/675249-crypt_keeper_large.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20160110153816
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 21:26 (two years ago) link
I’m new here as well as of Sunday. What wonders do I have to look forward to??
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Tuesday, 8 February 2022 22:34 (two years ago) link
Scratch to reveal your prize: ▪️
― Ferryboat Bill Jr. (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 22:42 (two years ago) link
Hi!
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 22:42 (two years ago) link
I resolve (to try) not to talk about physical ailments here. Although the parental health issues kicked in right on cue with my birthday.
― change display name (Jordan), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 22:51 (two years ago) link
I am more breathtaking than ever.
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 22:52 (two years ago) link
it gets worse
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 8 February 2022 23:35 (two years ago) link
As a visitor from another thread slowly approaching yet another thread, I can say no more, lest I violate the Prime Directive or spin up a temporal loop wapped up in an ion storm inside The Small Magellanic Cloud.
― Ferryboat Bill Jr. (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 00:08 (two years ago) link
As someone who is going to be 48 in a few months, I'll say one thing: get your health/fitness and money/career sorted out or at least heading in the direction you want. (OK so that's two things. Or maybe four) In particular, getting in shape will never be this easy again.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 18:44 (two years ago) link
snoball otm. your forties are not a time to let your physical condition coast.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 19:24 (two years ago) link
A physical therapist told me, "It takes a lifetime to get in shape and weeks to lose it."
― removing bookmarks never felt so good (PBKR), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 19:33 (two years ago) link
my physical therapist told me I have six months to live, then he gave me my bill.
with a week left, I got my bill, and told the doctor I couldn't pay it.
He gave me six more months.
― he's very big in the region of my butthole (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 19:45 (two years ago) link
Yeah, I turn 47 in a couple of days, and while I'm healthy as can be, I can tell the days of coasting are long behind me. Fortunately as I get older I find I eat less like, well, like a young kid.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 22:13 (two years ago) link
i got through periods of being better at it but i just scarfed two handfuls of candy
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 22:25 (two years ago) link
Since about November of last year, I've cut down the amount of meat I eat by a huge percentage — I only eat meat about 1-2 times a week now. (I know I'm not supposed to be posting in this thread anymore; I'll go.)
― but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:08 (two years ago) link
actual 40s person here as of... oh geez, it's been nearly a year. hope you're all getting a few walks in
― mh, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:13 (two years ago) link
What wonders do I have to look forward to??
your friends start dying off more frequently
― sarahell, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:16 (two years ago) link
Between 40 and 42 I aged approximately 25 years.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:18 (two years ago) link
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:22 (two years ago) link
I'm in shape and a vegetarian now, just need the old spine to not get too much worse. And I should stop eating so much (I don't gain weight, just trying not to stress my digestive system). It would be nice if I could continue drinking 5 - 7 beers a week too.
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:25 (two years ago) link
Jeff....did I last see you irl at 39? I'm scared
― mh, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:28 (two years ago) link
Oof, while I don't have any (permanently) ex friends, I will say that I have more than a few friends that had horrible stuff happen just on the other side of the age-50 horizon. A good friend of mine was just diagnosed last week with colon cancer at 53. Pretty treatable at her stage (1-2), thank goodness, but you never know. Another friend of mine recently had a stroke at 50 (!). She has pretty bad aphasia and can't use her right arm or right leg that much, but she/they think she's making progress.
Anyway, make sure you get your annual physicals!
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 23:50 (two years ago) link
― Jeff, Thursday, 10 February 2022 00:19 (two years ago) link
Considering the beginning of my 40s coincided with Covid, yeah it feels like I’ve aged 25 years
― Heez, Thursday, 10 February 2022 00:52 (two years ago) link
The eyesight thing is relatively minor, but damn it is fucking annoying to get used to!
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 10 February 2022 02:35 (two years ago) link
still playing the "is it the pandemic or perimenopause" game
― sarahell, Thursday, 10 February 2022 02:36 (two years ago) link
Ha I am right there with you. The memory thing is fucking annoying, too
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 10 February 2022 02:37 (two years ago) link
Here’s something that might instantly make you feel younger upon watching:https://www.instagram.com/p/CY6i4PQqtEs/
― Ferryboat Bill Jr. (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 10 February 2022 02:58 (two years ago) link
Forgot to make my entrance into this thread. I joined last summer. Spent the last year getting fitter and feel better for it. Wish I could eat like I did in my 20s. The lines around my eyes are deepening too....
― kinder, Thursday, 10 February 2022 08:40 (two years ago) link
I posted a few months ago that at 48 I hadn't noticed any eyesight problems. Well all of a sudden I can't focus as close as I used to - 30cm is my limit now - or so well in dim light. I was trying to read my daughter a Dr Seuss book with small black text on a dark green ground at bedtime and I absolutely couldn't make it out. I think WFH might be a factor, my desk is against a wall so I have nowhere distant to rest my eyes on.
― ledge, Thursday, 10 February 2022 08:50 (two years ago) link
baldness otoh finally suits me
― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 February 2022 08:53 (two years ago) link
My eye doctor told me that once you hit your early 40s, reading glasses become far more appealing
― Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Thursday, 10 February 2022 09:10 (two years ago) link
most paper books have seriously ableist tiny letters even with reading glasses, thank fuck for kindles.
I thought that I might have some grey by now along with the dwindling follicles, not that it would bother me either way and would wear that look rather than reaching for the dye. Looking forward to adding the elder abuse card to my armoury/survival plan!
― calzino, Thursday, 10 February 2022 09:32 (two years ago) link
I lost thirty pounds between 41 and 42 and haven't looked back -- my appetite hasn't readjusted, including for spirits. One of advancing age's disadvantages -- the body's resistance to change -- I used to my advantage.
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 10 February 2022 10:40 (two years ago) link
Alfred, that is inspiring. I was able to take my metabolism for granted until about 38 but over these past 2 pandemic years I've gained about 20 pounds, and I was already 10 over a weight that would feel healthy. Now at 40 I need to get my shit together and actually lose this weight that makes me feel gross way too much of the time.
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 10 February 2022 11:03 (two years ago) link
i got through periods of being better at it but i just scarfed two handfuls of candy― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, February 9, 2022 5:25 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, February 9, 2022 5:25 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
What was the country of origin?
― peace, man, Thursday, 10 February 2022 12:29 (two years ago) link
I can't focus as close as I used to - 30cm is my limit now - or so well in dim light.
i think the reading in dim light/night vision issue is definitely a product of age ... for over a decade i have complained about those insanely bright LED headlights that newer cars have ... and now i'm thinking ... i would really benefit from having brighter headlights on my car so I can read residential neighborhood street signs at night.
― sarahell, Thursday, 10 February 2022 15:48 (two years ago) link
xp Sweden!
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 10 February 2022 15:49 (two years ago) link
I feel like I've aged 10 years in the last two years (just turned 47). It's partly covid, but I'm just generally slower: metabolically, mentally, physically. My left knee is now fucked enough that I can't entertain the idea of anything beyond swimming and walking and my eyes have gone from pretty much A1 to needing a double varifocal change in two years.
My "boy" is 16 this year and is nearly the same height as me and is lithe and supple. I've also noticed in recent photos that I'm essentially turning into my old man. I'm being existentially squeezed from both ends, ffs.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 10 February 2022 18:36 (two years ago) link
No question my metabolism slowed when I hit my mid thirties; I was once thin as a reed, then, without changing my diet much, watched myself bloat. I wasn't overweight but felt so.
Sometime in 2016-2017 I reduced portion sizes, cut carbs and starches, etc., and, well, it worked. When the pandemic began, I started walking. At my peak in 2020 I walked six miles -- too intense, too time-consuming. I hover at just below five miles daily now and am content.
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 10 February 2022 18:44 (two years ago) link
I forgot to post here and bookmark when I joined the club four months ago. So... hello all! Not sure how much longer I'll be even a semi-regular poster on ILX. But I do hope to be one of those 40-somethings who remains an occasional lurker, and a still-present voice to those who keep up with a handful of beloved threads.
― The creator of Ultra Games, for Nintendo (Doctor Casino), Monday, 14 March 2022 14:38 (two years ago) link
welcome!
― mh, Monday, 14 March 2022 14:40 (two years ago) link
ILX gets better in your '40s.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 March 2022 15:12 (two years ago) link
Doc Casino, your posts were a gateway into ilx for me, hope you stick around! And welcome, I joined the 40s club last month
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Monday, 14 March 2022 15:23 (two years ago) link
Heh, I also thought about posting to this thread four months ago, which means our birthdays must be very very close Doc!
― Vinnie, Monday, 14 March 2022 15:24 (two years ago) link
i welcome the new Sagittarians to this thread
― sarahell, Monday, 14 March 2022 16:33 (two years ago) link
thanks, y'all!
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 15 March 2022 15:06 (two years ago) link
We had our goddamm company retreat last week, and this 25-year-old sales guy and I were bitching about the rigged trivia contest (a dragonfly only lives 24 hours? Ppppht. More like one to eight weeks.)
I said something like how this never happened during bar trivia, where everything's up on the screen. He asked "what do you mean, 'up on the screen?'" I said, oh come on. They've got those little black-and-white monitors spread out around the room and the waitress gives you this little rubber beer-resistant keyboard with a four-inch anten––
And then I just stopped in mid-sentence. "You know," I said. "They probably have an app for this now."
― pplains, Thursday, 14 April 2022 17:18 (two years ago) link
loling at the final realization, but also what trivia writer confuses dragonflies and mayflies
― scientific method man (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 April 2022 17:21 (two years ago) link
Same trivia contest that had the music category featuring
OLDIES1980s1990s2000s2010s
And would you like to know what the golden oldie song was?
― pplains, Thursday, 14 April 2022 17:32 (two years ago) link
Aw, that's a shame they don't have the little tabletop trivia boxes anymore. I used to love going to TGI Fridays for NTN trivia *checks watch* 25 years ago.
― peace, man, Thursday, 14 April 2022 18:31 (two years ago) link
xp The same ones who think that quacks don't echo and that goldfish have 13 second memories?
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 14 April 2022 19:17 (two years ago) link
lol, wondering now if one of the questions was
"What percent of our brain do human beings use?"
― scientific method man (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 April 2022 20:05 (two years ago) link
Same trivia contest that had the music category featuringOLDIES1980s1990s2000s2010sAnd would you like to know what the golden oldie song🕸 was?
― Anita Quatloos (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 14 April 2022 20:10 (two years ago) link
little tabletop trivia boxescrosspost to “American things” thread
― beepy fridges (sic), Thursday, 14 April 2022 21:02 (two years ago) link
― OG Bob Sacamano (will), Thursday, 14 April 2022 21:57 (two years ago) link
Lol. Exactly.
― Anita Quatloos (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 14 April 2022 22:14 (two years ago) link
Well I hate that these threads are largely people complaining about their health issues, but I only made it ~6 months into my 40s before my first major health scare. Turns out it's not c@ncer thankfully, just another auto-immune disorder resulting in low platelets. Should hopefully be fine, just one more thing to keep an eye on for the rest of my life.
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 September 2022 17:23 (one year ago) link
i turned 40 in july. my close-range eyesight has noticeably deteriorated over the past six months to a year, to the point where it's getting hard to read my phone. i can make do with readers somewhat but it's probably time to make an appointment with an eye doctor. contemplating wearing glasses or contacts long-term. i mean it's pretty fucking anodyne lol.
i also feel generally ... dumber than i used to haha. missing details. not remembering as much as i used to. maybe it's the daily 420 idk. ah well.
― ꙮ (map), Sunday, 30 October 2022 01:56 (one year ago) link
The eye thing is super annoying! It just impacts every aspect of day-to-day. My gradual dumbing took a sharp spill downward when I started tamoxifen. Seriously having to weigh what's more important to me: maximizing cognitive functioning or minimize chance of Stage 4 cancer recurrence. Thanks, aging!
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 30 October 2022 02:42 (one year ago) link
I’d pick being a little dumb over cancer any day, but it’s not a choice I have to make right now. I think it’s bad in that it’s not the good dumb that you’re talking about
I basically feel like I was bumbling along on my own during the last few years and it had some fun bits, just in my own sphere and not worry about social interaction. I also went from a dozen gray hairs to a lot, did well with fitness for a bit and now have broadened torso-ally, and I can still read relatively closely but my eye doc said that if I get new glasses, he wouldn’t want me to feel ripped off in six months from not having bought bifocals.
― mh, Sunday, 30 October 2022 02:50 (one year ago) link
Anybody else planning to try to get a colonoscopy? Just had a friend die of colon cancer - he had a family history, and tried to get a colonoscopy, and they told him "come back when you're 45."
― death generator (lukas), Sunday, 30 October 2022 03:00 (one year ago) link
that seems like complete horseshit that is way the system works. as far as I can tell, getting a PCP who advocates well is the trick
― mh, Sunday, 30 October 2022 03:07 (one year ago) link
My dad just had a tumor removed from his colon; so far it looks like it was benign and hadn’t spread. The experience made him remember that one of his brothers died of colon cancer. I’m 45, gotta make the call and set it up.
― Cow_Art, Sunday, 30 October 2022 03:16 (one year ago) link
I didn't have a family history when I got my first colonoscopy at 33. If they hem-haw about age, just tell them, fine, I guess the blood will dry out eventually.
― pplains, Sunday, 30 October 2022 03:35 (one year ago) link
I have cataracts already. Small ones but they're now creating noticeable minor blur to my vision. Surgery prob in my future
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Sunday, 30 October 2022 03:48 (one year ago) link
At least in the US, the new standard for baseline colonoscopy is 45 if you don't have risk factors (it used to be 50). I am 48 and had my first this year. Two low-grade polyps, next scope in 5 years.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 30 October 2022 03:57 (one year ago) link
Soon after turning 50, I received a letter suggesting that I go to the doctor and get a Fecal Immunochemical Test. You send it in and they can determine if you're at risk without the trouble of a colonoscopy.
― Halfway there but for you, Sunday, 30 October 2022 04:13 (one year ago) link
how are you doing, quincie? someone in my family had breast cancer - radiotherapy and some surgery and all was looking great for it to have not come back, one year on. unfortunately it's just come back so more drastic surgery is on the cards. it's really tough.
― kinder, Sunday, 30 October 2022 10:06 (one year ago) link
Truthfully, I am not doing great on tamoxifen, my best hope to avoid recurrence (which would be a “distant metastasis,” since I no longer have breasts). The impacts on my energy, mood, and cognitive function are Not Good. I see my oncologist this week to talk options. It is kind of you to ask after me <3
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 30 October 2022 14:45 (one year ago) link
kinda feel like every post to this thread should begin "fuck cancer" ...
is night vision deterioration a common 40s thing? It's mostly having trouble reading street signs while driving. Not like, seeing pedestrians.
― sarahell, Sunday, 30 October 2022 16:10 (one year ago) link
two more years and I'm on to the next thread
I am right there with you on the night vision, also the looming 50s thread (next year for me).
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 30 October 2022 17:00 (one year ago) link
18 months for me. I've not noticed night vision deterioration but in the last year I've been feeling like I'll need to get varifocals next time I go to the opticians.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Sunday, 30 October 2022 17:50 (one year ago) link
When you are ready you can go directly to the other thread but it’s kind of hard to find which is why I created:How young are you? How old am I? The index of ILX decades threads
― Regex Dwight (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 30 October 2022 17:59 (one year ago) link
The big recent thing for me is short-term memory, at least that what's I think it is. Like, I used to be able to absolutely rely on being told something at work (teaching, so in the corridor or whatever) and acting on it at some point during the day. Lately, it goes clear out of my head, sometimes instantly. I wonder if there's something else at work with inattention or whatever but it's wholly new so I'm putting it down to post-Covid exhaustion and being an auld fecker.
I'm 47 and still haven't had a colonoscopy. Need to get that sorted.
― Shard-borne Beatles with their drowsy hums (Chinaski), Sunday, 30 October 2022 18:18 (one year ago) link
I waited until well into the other thread to do that, finally talked to the teledoc when I fought COVID and then sent the box in by UPS. Also just summoned you to another thread based on your first comment.
― Regex Dwight (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 30 October 2022 18:22 (one year ago) link
i did the FIT home poo test … it came back negative and I’ll take that over a colonoscopy for as long as they’ll let me but yeeeuusch what a gross weird intricate process
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 30 October 2022 18:25 (one year ago) link
The "shit in a box" thing does sound easier, but it was nice to have the color photos from the inside as well.
― pplains, Sunday, 30 October 2022 18:42 (one year ago) link
mine was like, over the course of three dats poop onto tissue paper that you have floated on the toilet bowl, take a popsicle stick, smear it thinly in a tiny square, do that three timesexcept it took too long and the tissue paper sank & i ended up having to poop into a empty yogurt container & just sitting in the bathroom literally “playing with poop” like, what is my life right nowalso god forbid you have mobility or dexterity issues or are elderly bc this whole process seems designed by someone who’s never interacted with a human before
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 30 October 2022 18:48 (one year ago) link
but again, i’ll take it over invasive procedures
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 30 October 2022 18:49 (one year ago) link
<3 quincie. I hope your meeting is productive! is there a point where they say you're probably in the clear? onto the subject of the thread, I've fucked up my lower back... by vacuuming. then thinking it felt a bit better and working out with weights. bad idea. it's been about a month and still hurts so I guess I'll find a physio. but also trying to avoid quack medicine. feel lucky compared to lots of you guys tho.
― kinder, Sunday, 30 October 2022 19:26 (one year ago) link
So close to retirement I can almost taste it
― calstars, Sunday, 30 October 2022 19:28 (one year ago) link
best to you quincie, i hope there's a better option in your future.
― ꙮ (map), Sunday, 30 October 2022 20:28 (one year ago) link
X-post Surprised to see someone in the 40s thread saying that…. I don’t think I was even thinking of retirement in my 40s.
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 30 October 2022 20:56 (one year ago) link
Maybe you should have
― calstars, Sunday, 30 October 2022 21:39 (one year ago) link
Anyone delaying getting a colonoscopy, stop blithering and do it. It's an opportunity for a nice nap! I have family history and my doc is part of a hospital (I chose her at random for the location and having a cool name and being a women, and it turns out she practices as part of a major local hosp) so they scheduled it internally (lol) which made it simpler. Found 5 polyps, all benign, but GO DO IT.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Sunday, 30 October 2022 21:40 (one year ago) link
The nap part is so true.
― Jeff, Sunday, 30 October 2022 21:45 (one year ago) link
Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands. Sayonara, my night vision, if I ever had you! I basically didn't drive for 20 years so it's hard to remember what it was like at age 22 and headlights have gotten way more cursed since then.
Quincie, fuck cancer and I'm sorry. Imagine what a genius you'll be when you stop taking the drug! You'll probably invent something!
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Sunday, 30 October 2022 21:46 (one year ago) link
here's my colonoscopy story. i tried to get one a month ago because i had blood in my stool for like 3 months before that. turns out i had to pay out of pocket for it because it's "diagnostic" not "regular scheduled" 45 yo one. anyway the bleeding stopped like a week before i had the appointment and i didn't want to pay $300 for it since that's a big deal for me so now i'm back to where i was. *long rant* fucking bullshit etc.
― ꙮ (map), Sunday, 30 October 2022 21:46 (one year ago) link
Oh I still owe the hospital over $400 but they did it without requiring anything up front, and the doctor, with some asperity, said, "Get the medical care you need and we'll figure out the money later" which is maybe kind of not helpful but once you get the medical care, what are they going to do, put the polyps back in? Like
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Sunday, 30 October 2022 21:52 (one year ago) link
Only an inheritance or lottery win would have made (very) early retirement possible - no matter how much i might have thought about it.
Even now, when I'm two years from the 'ilxors in their 60s' thread, the prospect of retirement is postponed in the current UK basketcase economy.
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 30 October 2022 22:13 (one year ago) link
Yep, my doctor cautioned against doing the Exact Sciences mail-poop test if there's any chance there could be blood, because that obviates the results and then the resulting diagnostic (not preventative) colonoscopy is not covered by most insurance. But if he just orders the colonoscopy as preventative, it's covered. Smh.
― change display name (Jordan), Sunday, 30 October 2022 22:14 (one year ago) link
I did the mail-in poop test, because it was pretty easy, which is the biggest advantage. The biggest disadvantage (besides being gross and awkward) is that you have to do it every three years instead of every 10, and it's not as accurate or thorough. My wife, for example, had a traditional colonoscopy which found a couple of benign polyps, which they just remove while they're in there to forestall any potential future problems. Going to traditional route is pretty gross, too, though, at least as far as the prep goes.
Another friend of mine, who is in her early '50s, went the traditional route (after a few concerning signs), and they totally found bad stuff. She's finally in the clear after about a year of treatment, thank goodness.
My mom (who is in her '70s) said at a certain age they stop recommending it as part of your regularly scheduled tests, and she's all, no, I'll keep getting them every 10 years, thanks. People are living longer and longer, and one reason is regularly screenings.
Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands.
This is totally my wife right now. She just got glasses specifically to help with driving at night.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 30 October 2022 22:31 (one year ago) link
The prep you drink for the reg procedure is intensely unpalatable but the result of pooping a lot isn't inherently gross imo. But you do you. Your mom otm.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Sunday, 30 October 2022 22:33 (one year ago) link
I think as I understand it's like having rapid onset diarrhea that just keeps hitting at regular intervals until there is nothing left.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 30 October 2022 22:49 (one year ago) link
I watched a band apart while doing my prep , it was no big deal *poops*
― calstars, Sunday, 30 October 2022 22:51 (one year ago) link
Yeah I really found the colonoscopy thing (prep+procedure) NBD; I have had far, far worse dental appointments!
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 31 October 2022 03:33 (one year ago) link
I found the prep somewhat hellish, especially when the appointment is in the morning so you need to stay up most of the night.
― change display name (Jordan), Monday, 31 October 2022 04:07 (one year ago) link
Change of topic, but the increase in amount of time I've spent napping this year has been overwhelming. I've taken more naps in the past 6 months than I have in total over the past decade. Just like, 4 pm - "oh here comes that feeling again. better lay down," then come to an hour later feeling like I have molasses in my veins and cotton in my skull. Not every day, but several times per week. It's pretty annoying. I remember my dad hitting the naps pretty hard too when he was my age.
― peace, man, Monday, 31 October 2022 12:18 (one year ago) link
i too have the nap bug
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Monday, 31 October 2022 17:23 (one year ago) link
No naps for me. But now I'm staring down the barrel of a low-lectin diet, to try and deal with some of my auto-immune (and digestive) issues. Very curious to see how it goes but also the thought of giving up certain things, as well as general eating flexibility around friends and in restaurants, is colossally depressing to me. Gonna try for a good attitude about it though, might start a separate thread.
― change display name (Jordan), Monday, 31 October 2022 17:45 (one year ago) link
...I would participate in that thread as I'm about halfway to that kind of diet by necessity. (Clinging to cheese haterz gfy.)
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 31 October 2022 17:54 (one year ago) link
I went to Paris on a school trip (35 15-year-olds, enough to cause long-lasting health issues in and of itself, obvs) and it was the first time I'd really had to face my dietary choices of the last few years head-on. Up until now, it had basically been confined to home and a few well-chosen restaurants. Reader, it was royal pain in the arse (and the guts).
― Shard-borne Beatles with their drowsy hums (Chinaski), Monday, 31 October 2022 18:05 (one year ago) link
I've been taking afternoon naps since I was a teenager, they're one of the best things in life. Pro tip: don't lie down and instead just fade out sitting up on a comfy couch or chair, then you'll wake up in 30-45 minutes without cotton ball brain and just feel refreshed.
One gift of middle age is perspective on medical procedures as you rack up a few truly unpleasant ones (colonoscopy prep is way easier to handle when you remember the week of the ureteral stent) and come to terms with occasional machine interpretations of your magical body. I used to be terrified of blood draws, now they barely faze me.
― Jaime Pressly and America (f. hazel), Monday, 31 October 2022 18:15 (one year ago) link
Thanks for the tip! I'll give it a shot.
― peace, man, Monday, 31 October 2022 18:18 (one year ago) link
I use the post-work power nap upon arriving home to make a clean break between my job and my life
― Jaime Pressly and America (f. hazel), Monday, 31 October 2022 18:20 (one year ago) link
I can't do 45 minutes; it'll fuck me up for the rest of the day. I find 15-20 minutes to be extremely refreshing, though. (Sorry for intervening in you kids' conversation — back to the over-50 zone I go!)
― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, 31 October 2022 18:29 (one year ago) link
Daily afternoon nap (15-20 min) is crucial to me. I usually take a look at the clock before I close my eyes and again when I snap back, and it's almost always 17-18 minutes.
― DPRK in Cincinnati (WmC), Monday, 31 October 2022 18:32 (one year ago) link
I don't nap, not yet at least, but the tip I read but have never tried is to have a cup of coffee right before you take a nap. That way, you fall asleep or rest, and then the coffee kicks in in about 45 minutes and either wakes you up or gives you a jolt, making the transition to being back awake smoother. I have my doubts, though, because the psychological component of coffee is real, just drinking it would probably wake me up immediately because I associate it with being awake. The same way putting my glasses on anytime other than the end of the day instantly makes me feel tired.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 31 October 2022 18:34 (one year ago) link
weekend afternoons = a nap, a fap, and a crap, but not in that order
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Monday, 31 October 2022 18:38 (one year ago) link
(problem when I nap is I keep extending it until it's basically just...sleep)
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Monday, 31 October 2022 18:39 (one year ago) link
I've spent decades fine-tuning the stimuli I need to reliably wake up from a nap at the right time... music or TV at a certain volume, upright body, room temperature. The coffee thing is a neat trick too! It will be different for everyone but you can get there!
― Jaime Pressly and America (f. hazel), Monday, 31 October 2022 19:17 (one year ago) link
I bloody love a nap; it's one of life's true pleasures and I do it every day if I can. In my old job, I used to nap at lunchtime and be able to time it pretty much to the minute. I don't think I was ever late back. Now I actually work for a living, I only nap when I get in and it's become a bit more hit and miss.
― Shard-borne Beatles with their drowsy hums (Chinaski), Monday, 31 October 2022 19:41 (one year ago) link
We Can't Have Nice Foods Anymore: Surviving the Diets of the Modern Era
― change display name (Jordan), Monday, 31 October 2022 20:20 (one year ago) link
Hello olds, I am once again here telling you (as a 38 year old) to GET A COLONOSCOPY if anything seems off or if there’s any family history. I put it off because i was “healthy” and felt fine for years, and now I’m a stage iiib cancer survivor who has a colostomy for the rest of his life. Trust me when i say it’s worth the unpleasantness.
― poppin' debussy (the table is the table), Tuesday, 1 November 2022 15:49 (one year ago) link
i'm thinking of getting one before 45. my brother already got one and he's only 40.
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 1 November 2022 16:10 (one year ago) link
i'm going to go back to my doctor and see if i can get him to refer this as "regular scheduled" instead of "diagnostic". even if not, i will bite the bullet this time.
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 1 November 2022 18:47 (one year ago) link
map, i say this in all seriousness as a fellow fag and friend and etc: please do whatever you can to have it done. the first signs that something was really wrong with me were blood and (okay yes gross) mucus in my movements— because of the shittiness of the US healthcare system i waited until it was clear i couldn’t wait any longer, then got a referral from my PCP for a colonoscopy. as in, i get how cumbersome and awful this shit can be especially if you don’t have a ton of cash— but lord i wish i had just gone in at the first signs of trouble
― poppin' debussy (the table is the table), Tuesday, 1 November 2022 19:30 (one year ago) link
i hear you, thanks table. i'll reschedule something this week for december.
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 1 November 2022 19:33 (one year ago) link
I’ve had two and I’m only 43. It really is a nice little nap. The worst part of the prep for me isn’t the logical outcome of it, but just the sheer volume of liquid I had to drink.
― Jeff, Tuesday, 1 November 2022 19:46 (one year ago) link
Exact same notes as everyone else: I've had two. The prep sucks. The procedure is fine, you won't remember anything or feel anything or have any lasting impact. If you can get your insurance to do it, get it done.
― “Cheeky cheeky!” she trills, nearly demolishing a roadside post (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 06:36 (one year ago) link
why do you get given an anaesthetic for a colonoscopy in the USA? they don't give you one in the UK. is it just so they can charge more to your insurance or something?
― even the birds in the trees seemed to whisper "get fucked" (bovarism), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 11:51 (one year ago) link
My blood pressure is always massively high at the docs but seems to also be elevated at home now, despite the meds I take. White coat blood pressure, yes, because now I'm constantly anxious the reading will be high and the doc will flip.
Trying to get my doc to maybe add another medication.
The first one I took was amazing (losartan) but then got discontinued due to causing cancer or something.
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 12:41 (one year ago) link
Let's just say my dad's stroke has me more worried than I should be so I'm gonna contact the doc today to ask at next months visit to consider giving me new BP meds
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 12:48 (one year ago) link
(his stroke of five years ago I mean)
My blood pressure has rocketed up this last year or so as well -- I'm reasonably confident it's the combination of my SNRI and not really quitting alcohol. So I'm tapering off the former and basically cutting out the latter for the next month or so to see if that has a measurable effect.
If not, I regret I might have to stop eating macaroni and cheese.
― Eric H., Wednesday, 2 November 2022 13:43 (one year ago) link
I don't have any nutritional or dietary issues myself (thank goodness), but sorting donations at the food pantry in accordance to their requirements has made me acutely aware of things like sodium and added sugars, their two biggest bugaboos. It's kind of amazing how much stuff does not pass muster as "healthy."
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 13:50 (one year ago) link
Had a colonoscopy once, they sedate you, but you are semi conscious - they let you watch if you want, I declined.
Upside - got diagnosed with IBD, so worth the test! Luckily, not really had a bad IBD flare for a while.
― jel--, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 14:05 (one year ago) link
Sedation during colonoscopies -- I don't know what the deal is. I've had, like five of 'em, and have been knocked out cold each time. My wife has had the experience jel describes, awake but not in pain.
And listen to table -- colorectal cancer is completely treatable, if caught early. There aren't always signs that something's wrong which is why regular screenings are recommended. If the cancer is localized, still in one place, you've got a 90% recovery rate.
Seems like they keep dropping the age where you can be screened without too much hassle. Used to be 50, now it's 45. Within the next ten years, colorectal cancer may become the #1 cancer suffered by people between 20 and 50.
― pplains, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 14:24 (one year ago) link
I don't even want to know my bp, if I knew I might have to do something about it.
Did my stretches this morning, esp hip flexibility ones. As long as you can move easily enough to do what you want, that seems fine! But my life is measurably worse without hip flex and range of motion.
Topic shift away from physical selves: I'm so much happier and more comfortable in my 40s even though I'm financially/professionally precarious right now--it's not just because I have more money or security bc I do not--I'm still much happier with the person that I am and the relationships and networks I'm part of. Previous decades suggest that this is an upward-trending line overall so I'm psyched for line goes up future decades!
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 14:55 (one year ago) link
― poppin' debussy (the table is the table), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 15:36 (one year ago) link
Colorectal cancer rates among people 25-44 in the US have skyrocketed in the past 5-10 years— while the jury is out on causes, there is a great suspicion among medical professionals and dietitians that the preponderance of heavily processed food (including excess nitrite use) in our diets has something to do with it.That said, I just have a genetic marker making me more susceptible to colorectal cancer, tho the years of smoking and etc probably did not help.
― poppin' debussy (the table is the table), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 15:42 (one year ago) link
I'm so much happier and more comfortable in my 40s even though I'm financially/professionally precarious right now--it's not just because I have more money or security bc I do not--I'm still much happier with the person that I am and the relationships and networks I'm part of. Previous decades suggest that this is an upward-trending line overall so I'm psyched for line goes up future decades!
this is nice to hear, i'm happy for you.
i'm also generally happier than i have been at any point in my life. my story is shaped pretty foundationally by religious and family trauma and also financial precarity. the former hasn't gone away but it's less in control thanks to boundaries and stuff. the latter is still not amazing or anything but i've made significant progress. i'm also in a really loving relationship. could help to find a broader network but it's hard in this culturally awful place in which i live. i do rely on posters here a lot for more meaningful social interaction so thanks for putting up with my prickly ass.
― ꙮ (map), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 15:51 (one year ago) link
I'm also in a better place, as far as general happiness. I don't have much in the way of social interaction (beyond occasionally hanging out with other parents). My marriage is messy and a source of constant anxiety. I'm dealing with mental health issues. Money's better than it has been, but is still precarious - could use a lot more! But despite the challenges, I've been more comfortable with myself lately.
― peace, man, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 16:33 (one year ago) link
heavily processed food (including excess nitrite use)
This is interesting. I had 1 relative die of colon cancer and my mom was correspondingly cautious of feeding us any preserved meat products! We never ate ham, and if we had hot dogs one day, we had to have oatmeal the next day lol. Maybe she was onto something.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 16:43 (one year ago) link
Hmm another point in favor of The Diet
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 16:45 (one year ago) link
I'm still much happier with the person that I am and the relationships and networks I'm part of. Previous decades suggest that this is an upward-trending line overall so I'm psyched for line goes up future decades
yay! For me it's often two steps forward, one step back ... but there is a forward motion. I'm doing the thing right now that is realizing which people in my life I value the most and trying to maintain/build on those relationships and letting go of the ones that are better off as friendly acquaintances. A bunch of it has to do with doing a lot less drinking than I used to, and the associated activities and stupidity that goes with drank. I still have that feeling of being in a prolonged adolescence because I am not married and don't have kids.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 18:20 (one year ago) link
wrong age group thread for me personally, but need to ask UK'rs on this thread.have any of you been offered a colonoscopy on NHS as part of a regular check up thing, as opposed to an investigation for relevant problems ?i am 54 and have never once been offered such a procedurein fact, i suspect even if i asked, i would be end of the very long queue due to not having any major relevant issues.
― mark e, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 18:38 (one year ago) link
just an update i rescheduled the scope for a monday in december because fuck going to work on mondays in december
― ꙮ (map), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 18:40 (one year ago) link
Enjoy!
(Not being sarcastic--the prep is painless, the procedure is painless--the drugs make it even somewhat pleasant--day off from work, sense of satisfaction at having done a Good Thing for Health, interesting experience, and later, color pictures of your own rectum!!! What is not to love about a colonoscopy???)
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 18:43 (one year ago) link
The prep is technically painless but highly distasteful, in quantity. But yeah definitely a good thing for everybody to do. Maybe I won't put off my next one.
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:09 (one year ago) link
quincie otm
― calstars, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:26 (one year ago) link
They even upped my dose of anesthesia cause I told them I drink and smoke the ganja
― calstars, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:27 (one year ago) link
as opposed to ... sensimilla?
― sarahell, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:34 (one year ago) link
doc was like "give them the good stuff"
― Muad'Doob (Moodles), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:34 (one year ago) link
I always say something like, "You can't knock me out, I'm too strong!" to make them step harder on the gas.
― pplains, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:52 (one year ago) link
At one point mid-procedure I went “oof” and the tech was immediately like “I GIVE U MORE DON’T WORRIES!”
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:56 (one year ago) link
"was that a good oof or a bad oof?"
― Muad'Doob (Moodles), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:57 (one year ago) link
It didn’t really hurt, I just felt some pressure and doc was like yeah that’s a tight turn right there
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 19:57 (one year ago) link
xps to markno never been advised to have one by a doctor. but then again I've never known anyone in UK go to the docs for a general check up or 'physical' which if I go by us tv is apparently a thing.
― oscar bravo, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 20:07 (one year ago) link
oscar - once i hit the big 50 i got summoned for a general MOT : blood pressure, Cholesterol, weight, chat re booze etc.got summoned back a few weeks later for a discussion re my Cholesterol.
this week i had to have my covid/flu boosters and at the same time they were checking records and asking people for blood pressure/weight measurements for those they had not seen for a while.
but when it comes to the ££ stuff, then yeah, i guess its a case wait until things become visible.
― mark e, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 20:14 (one year ago) link
I turned 50 last year, all I got was an invitation to get a flu jab which I took them up on. no other questions or tests.
― oscar bravo, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 20:27 (one year ago) link
at least this digression has reminded me to get this winters flu jab so that's something.
― oscar bravo, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 20:29 (one year ago) link
Yeah, flu is definitely going around right now - much more than covid.
― peace, man, Thursday, 3 November 2022 01:57 (one year ago) link
The c scopy fasting makes it easier to fast at any given time
― calstars, Saturday, 5 November 2022 04:50 (one year ago) link
miralax, dulcolax, apple juice, lacroix, gatorades, bone broths, fentiman's. might get gum later if can stir myself from my fainting couch, without food i am lost *sobs* only slightly kidding
― ꙮ (map), Sunday, 11 December 2022 21:47 (one year ago) link
I didn’t think gum was allowed. Don’t swallow it by accident
― calstars, Sunday, 11 December 2022 22:08 (one year ago) link
two day hangovers ...
― sarahell, Monday, 12 December 2022 18:52 (one year ago) link
hope it went okay, map
― Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Monday, 12 December 2022 19:13 (one year ago) link
a camera up the ass - what is life
― | (Latham Green), Monday, 12 December 2022 19:31 (one year ago) link
thanks table, it went fine, clean as a whistle thank god!
― ꙮ (map), Monday, 12 December 2022 22:46 (one year ago) link
the anethesia they used is good shit, which i will "possibly" be getting a separate bill for
― ꙮ (map), Monday, 12 December 2022 22:47 (one year ago) link
worst part of the whole thing, including the prep, was sitting in that godawful waiting room for 45 minutes
― ꙮ (map), Monday, 12 December 2022 23:03 (one year ago) link
The first time they did me, they gave me a small amount of fent, which was extremely surprising. Of course, that was when they found the cancer, so it was probably good that I emerged all groggy from getting dosed with opioids.
― Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 00:31 (one year ago) link
i noticed a section on the anesthesia release form with two drugs listed. fentanyl was an option, but the other one was checked, i forget the name of it
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 01:00 (one year ago) link
probs dilaudid
― Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 01:21 (one year ago) link
which is also great, tbh, and is perfect for colonoscopies— shorter duration that morphine, but deeper sedation.
I don't touch opioids in any recreational way despite ample use of most other drugs at some point in my life, but have had to have them for various medical reasons, and I think dilaudid is actually my favorite of them.
― Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 01:24 (one year ago) link
IIRC versed is a popular c-scopy benzo.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 01:42 (one year ago) link
well it's a good thing i have no intention of ever touching opiates either or i'd be s.o.l.
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 02:55 (one year ago) link
I guess this is a forties thing to have slept on my elbow in a weird way so I'm on a week of dealing with shoulder/elbow pain and tingling like I've hit my funny bone. Seeing a doctor on Thursday, but it's annoying as fuck and I keep hoping it will get better, but no luck.
― Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 15:45 (one year ago) link
maybe its a neck vertebrae issue " Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0) "
― | (Latham Green), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 16:07 (one year ago) link
Oy, 3 years into my 40s have not been kind from a health perspective. Yeah yeah, pandemic etc. But just came back from my physical with significantly elevated blood pressure and sharply higher lipid panel than I've ever had in the past. Quite a wake-up call
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 16:16 (one year ago) link
ever since I turned 45 i feel like my body is breaking down in the stupidest and most boring ways possible
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 17:58 (one year ago) link
i'm not 40 but next time you're due for a colonoscopy see if your doctor is willing to try 'cologuard' instead - it's where you poop into a box and mail it to a lab to be analyzed for cancer, should replace a colonoscopy iirc.
― 龜, Tuesday, 13 December 2022 18:01 (one year ago) link
jon, I got a new pillow earlier this year, which resulted in weeks of weird pains as I adjusted. real dumb to live in bodies like this imho
― rob, Tuesday, 13 December 2022 18:01 (one year ago) link
I'm 47 and this year it's felt like my body is playing an endless game of Whac-A-Mole
― Muad'Doob (Moodles), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 18:07 (one year ago) link
As we discussed though, with some insurance there is apparently a concern that if the Cologuard results necessitate a colonscopy anyway (like if there's any blood), the colonoscopy may be considered diagnostic and not preventative, and therefore not covered by insurance.
I'm past week three on this wacky diet, it's been fine except for the fomo when meeting a friend at a bar or cafe (where I basically can't have anything). Platelets still going down, but I stopped taking a medication for UC that I've been on for a long time and started taking some papaya leaf extract, so I'm still hoping there will be some change in direction without having to go on stereoids.
― change display name (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 18:10 (one year ago) link
I'll be for sure getting the colonoscopy next year or the year after
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 19:10 (one year ago) link
Hard not to be depressed today for all the carbonara I'm not going to be eating anymore but maybe once a year...
Jumped back on the exercise horse today with a 30-ish minute session on the treadmill where my heart rate was already up into the 140s during the /warm-up/ and reaching 160+ during the staggered periods of running. This ... is gonna be a marathon, in both senses.
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 19:13 (one year ago) link
Eric, remember to ease into it so you don’t hurt yourself! I went too hard at first on my bicycle when my body was recovered enough after surgery, and kind of fucked up my knee and then had to take it easy for even longer. In any case I know you’ll be back on V8s and with a low resting heart rate soon.
― Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 19:18 (one year ago) link
My resting heart rate is 90-100 regularly, has been for decades. nobody seems to wanna give me beta blockers tho
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 19:19 (one year ago) link
Yup, I probably actually only "ran" a grand total of 12-14 minutes between resting periods. I'm all too aware that my body's in ticking-time-bomb mode for the near forseen
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 19:35 (one year ago) link
If I was brutally honest here about what I was doing to my body over the last 3 or 4 years, the answer is "literally everything (except hard drugs) wrong"
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 19:46 (one year ago) link
I was exercising every day and only drinking in moderation, I was just a good eater :( (who knows if that actually has anything to do with anything)
― change display name (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 December 2022 20:10 (one year ago) link
I know I’m not in my 40s just yet, but I will say that the eating well and exercising regularly was certainly touted by my oncologist as “really helping” in terms of recovery from cancer. Studies show the same— it doesn’t seem to help until it does.
― Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Wednesday, 14 December 2022 00:37 (one year ago) link
Just turned 50, but this is just about right:
― ꙮ (map), Sunday, December 11, 2022 4:47 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink
Had a data breach at work this week - not sure which is worse yet.
― The Bankruptcy of the Planet of the Apes (PBKR), Wednesday, 14 December 2022 13:09 (one year ago) link
Had homemade overnight oats for the first time this morning with nothing in the way if mix-ins and ... it's actually pretty good! I wasn't too worried because in the past I have had dry, non-sugared cereals for breakfast on the regular. But if even the "worst" form of overnight oats can taste this good to me, there's one permanent change I should be able to sustain no problem
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Wednesday, 14 December 2022 13:10 (one year ago) link
I have actually started paying attention to the pharmaceutical ads on the internet ... what is this drug for? maybe I will have this disease soon? It's nice to think about being able to take things that reduce pain and suffering.
― sarahell, Sunday, 18 December 2022 18:36 (one year ago) link
About a week in and I am successfully keeping my pulse under 170 during run-jogs on the mill. And I finally landed a sub-70 sleeping heart rate last night … little steps
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Sunday, 18 December 2022 19:01 (one year ago) link
Thank God some things DO change.😉Bless your hearts....but not my 45. pic.twitter.com/P2Ceesh2UY— Tarita (@EveryAlbertan) December 31, 2022
I dunno, though; there’s still a decent chance I’ll look like Steve Martin and/or Diane Keaton in four months.
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Sunday, 1 January 2023 21:25 (one year ago) link
Pretty sure I look worse at 43 than Steve Martin does at 75
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Sunday, 1 January 2023 21:26 (one year ago) link
I look 42 but like a different species
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Sunday, 1 January 2023 21:28 (one year ago) link
43 years old, same species, but fatter, with much less hair
― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Sunday, 1 January 2023 21:43 (one year ago) link
lol even in 1995, 45 year olds did not look that "square" ... it was peak baby boomers who did not want to turn into their parents era ... like that was what 45 year olds looked like in 1965.
― sarahell, Sunday, 1 January 2023 22:03 (one year ago) link
i danced a lot last night & my decrepit body’s takeaway today is that I am dying 🥳
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 2 January 2023 01:47 (one year ago) link
I feel really lucky...
- i had gerd but gum + slippery elm tea has nuked the symptoms- i messed up my knee and it hurt for years but despite half-assing the PT its all better now- my hearing isn't getting any worse- my insurance let me do the poop in the box thing (up thread) and it came out negative this time (my wife's insurance didn't let her do that)
But i didn't dance the night away last night. I just went to sleep at the normal time.
― fajita seas, Monday, 2 January 2023 03:15 (one year ago) link
gonna be 42 in a few weeks' time and haven't stayed up to ring in the new year in at least a decade. cheers.
― i'd rather do music and chill tf out (Austin), Monday, 2 January 2023 04:13 (one year ago) link
slippery elm you say
― “Cheeky cheeky!” she trills, nearly demolishing a roadside post (forksclovetofu), Monday, 2 January 2023 07:28 (one year ago) link
Yeah try slippery elm tea! There's actually studies showing it works. Don't drink more than a few cups a day though because there are side effects if you have too much.
But yeah i had it really bad 10 years ago and now basically no problems.
― fajita seas, Monday, 2 January 2023 15:06 (one year ago) link
Gonna have to look up 'gerd'
― Mark G, Monday, 2 January 2023 15:10 (one year ago) link
My dad has GERD but it didn't manifest until his 50s/60s, so I have some time still
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Monday, 2 January 2023 15:21 (one year ago) link
vision update - it took me a while from noticing my first presbyopia symptoms a year or two ago but i now have a couple of pairs of off the shelf reading glasses, mainly for low light or when the print is particularly small. even with just +1.25 the magnification is quite something, so now when i peer at a label without my glasses on i basically turn into an old man - 'why do they make this writing so small? it was much larger in my day'.
― ledge, Tuesday, 10 January 2023 14:44 (one year ago) link
i hurt my knee really badly last year and am accepting that it will probably never be 100% in my life again, maybe, but it is doing a lot better and i'm really grateful for that!
― here 1st (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 19:04 (one year ago) link
I went through something where I could barely get up the stairs because of my right knee. Wore one of those stretchy knee brace things under my pants.
Kept putting off going to a doctor until one day, I realize the problem was gone! It was a gradual thing, not overnight.
Still have no idea what that was or where it came from.
― pplains, Wednesday, 18 January 2023 19:20 (one year ago) link
Still having weird auto-immune issues w/low platelets and also some upper GI stuff, maybe all related maybe not. Doing everything I can think of - intermittent fasting (not eating until around 2pm and then just having some bone broth until dinner), no gluten, sugar, or nightshades, etc. Not sure if any of it is really helping or not. Meanwhile everyone says "you look great, did you lose weight?" as blissfully live their pizza & beer lifestyles. Sucks.
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 19:31 (one year ago) link
Actually it's not that bad as long as I'm in my daily routine, and not having fomo about going out, meeting friends for dinner, or traveling.
started ab exercises today.
4 minutes and I felt like a 93 year old man afterward
― fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 19:35 (one year ago) link
then again, i even struggled w/ those as a kid, but not this bad!
― fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 19:36 (one year ago) link
pplains, i went to a doc and did physical therapy for my knee. my doc said that 9 times out of 10 knee things heal on their own O_O
― here 1st (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 19:39 (one year ago) link
It took a full 12+ months for my knee to get back to normal post-ACL and meniscus surgery. I was convinced it would never get back to 100%, but it did! It just took a long damn while.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 19:51 (one year ago) link
Still having weird auto-immune issues w/low platelets and also some upper GI stuff, maybe all related maybe not.
I have a bunch of auto-immune stuff in my family and I suddenly developed psoriasis (which is auto immune I believe) about 5 or so years ago. It kept getting worse and worse, though treatable with medication, and then about 3 months ago started getting a lot better. Very weird.
― Unfairport Convention (PBKR), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 20:49 (one year ago) link
Feels like auto-immune issues are rife these days. Hopefully this stuff will go away one day, although I feel like it's all gut-related and I wish I knew how much all the diet & lifestyle stuff was actually affecting this. Got an appointment for a breath test for SIBO etc, but not until five months from now, lol.
I have abs of steel and yet am apparently the least healthy person in my friend group.
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 20:55 (one year ago) link
Sorry, trying not to feel self-pity but I'm spiraling a bit today, I know everyone's got their own issues and it doesn't make sense to compare.
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 21:29 (one year ago) link
nah it's all good, say what ya need <3
― fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 21:46 (one year ago) link
Ok fine, fuck all these fat healthy people enjoying their lives :)
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, 18 January 2023 21:53 (one year ago) link
Yeah, don't worry about it. It would rattle anyone.
― Unfairport Convention (PBKR), Thursday, 19 January 2023 01:54 (one year ago) link
I do miss my abs
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 January 2023 11:45 (one year ago) link
I'm just about convinced that you can say that about the whole body.
But that 1 out of 10 will getcha!
― pplains, Thursday, 19 January 2023 14:43 (one year ago) link
― change display name (Jordan), Wednesday, January 18, 2023 9:29 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
I'm sorry, Jordan! It sucks for sure. I also struggle with eating "healthy" foods that are harder for my body to deal with than unhealthy foods. Like on a lentils vs steak level, steak will go down fine and I'll feel great except for my cholesterlol levels.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Thursday, 19 January 2023 15:16 (one year ago) link
Psst idk if you can get it there but Against the Grain is a northeast brand of gluten-free pizza that's a pretty good base if you add more toppings at home. The pesto pie (sans tomato) is a great building block, even my bf loves it (he is not gluten-free).
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Thursday, 19 January 2023 15:18 (one year ago) link
Dang, that's so close (tapioca and pesto are fine), but believe it or not I'm trying to avoid canola oil and non-aged cheeses, lol.
Really we've got the hang of making delicious food for dinner at home, it's just the fomo and leaving the house that I'm having issues with. Last night was sweet potato curry soup with sorghum (which is surprisingly delicious in its natural grain form, a lot like couscous) and an egg, almond flour biscuits, and salad.
― change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 19 January 2023 18:48 (one year ago) link
― عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 January 2023 11:45 (seven hours ago)
I miss having abs a reasonably flat stomach but I like food why because it tastes nice.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 19 January 2023 19:20 (one year ago) link
I can eat whatever garbage meat / cheese / dairy / garlic / chile / wheat concoction you can come up with and have no digestive issues but of course broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, and any legumes wreck me. I moved to a place with lots of middle eastern places and realized that falafel with hummus is like the worst thing I can eat.
I can load up on beano and have falfel or channa masala or dal but only once - if I have leftovers the next day my body will scoff at any chemical intervention.
― joygoat, Thursday, 19 January 2023 20:33 (one year ago) link
I like food why because it tastes nice.
Covid has fucked up the taste of food for me at the moment and my life is lacking a significant joy :(
― kinder, Thursday, 19 January 2023 20:42 (one year ago) link
^ one of my biggest motivations for continuing to mask up in all public spaces.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, 19 January 2023 20:45 (one year ago) link
Yes, that served me well. I caught it at a family event so I know exactly who to give the side-eye...
― kinder, Thursday, 19 January 2023 20:50 (one year ago) link
Broccoli good, cauliflower bad, artichokes are basically the nazis of digestion
Potatoes mostly just make me fart, which is acceptable
Currently have a concussion-related dizziness which may last several more months (!), but at least it's not age-related (and MRI fine)
Currently having "are you mumbling more or am I deaf more" arguments with partner, answer probably a bit from both column
― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 19 January 2023 22:29 (one year ago) link
Any time I try to eat something healthy, my body tells me, "Oh, no. We've adapted to crap food since the early 80s to survive. Don't bring anything new in here or we will fuck you up."
― pplains, Thursday, 19 January 2023 22:58 (one year ago) link
Here comes 46
― The Triumphant Return of Bernard & Stubbs (Raymond Cummings), Thursday, 19 January 2023 23:00 (one year ago) link
yeah i feel like our bodies get more finicky about food as we age and really punishes us for the foods it doesn't like.
― ꙮ (map), Thursday, 19 January 2023 23:04 (one year ago) link
back from an ultrasound on my gut, let's see what that tells me
― POLIZISTEN VERSINKEN IM SCHLAMM (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 January 2023 23:22 (one year ago) link
might not be a magic bullet for everyone but psyllium husk pills have really helped for any reflux or digestive things for me
― Bongo Jongus, Thursday, 19 January 2023 23:28 (one year ago) link
my body tells me, "Oh, no. We've adapted to crap food since the early 80s to survive. Don't bring anything new in here or we will fuck you up."
Sounds about right. A few years back when people were getting all excited about gut flora and its relationship to general health, one of the assertions that was floating around was that your gut flora is highly adapted to whatever makes up your normal diet (which is also its normal diet) and if you deprive it of what it expects and wants, the bacteria in your gut will not just complain about the change, but can stimulate cravings for those foods.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, 19 January 2023 23:34 (one year ago) link
oldest person at the bar= win
― calstars, Saturday, 28 January 2023 18:45 (one year ago) link
― ꙮ (map), Thursday, January 19, 2023 3:04 PM (one week ago)
true. ... last summer I had this really painful stomach issue that was basically really bad bloating and gas that felt like "okay facehugger alien, you can burst out now and just put me out of my misery" ... best I can tell is it was due to undercooked beans. I had never had anything remotely like this problem before than I can remember? But I had started making a greater effort to eat more beans because they are healthier and more ethical than meat. ... After a few months I slowly phased back in eating beans, but goddamn, that pain was horrible, and all y'all who have that on the reg ... my sympathies.
― sarahell, Monday, 30 January 2023 14:08 (one year ago) link
yesterday when i was sitting in the biggest most comfortable chair in the house i stretched my arms up and yawned and that was enough to fuck up my neck
the moral of the story is don't stretch
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 30 January 2023 14:38 (one year ago) link
don't get out of the boat.
― sarahell, Monday, 30 January 2023 14:55 (one year ago) link
My wife once reached up and behind her to flip a wall light switch -- not a long reach at all -- and wound up needing shoulder surgery.
― The Terroir of Tiny Town (WmC), Monday, 30 January 2023 15:59 (one year ago) link
I laughed knowingly about the "facehugger alien" description. For me it's raw or undercooked cabbage. Kimchi or super stewed cabbage is fine - great even - but I'll suffer for days if I have coleslaw or anything like that. My totally amateur theory is that my stomach acid or gut bacteria is just no longer up to the task of breaking down that kind of roughage.
― beard papa, Monday, 30 January 2023 19:53 (one year ago) link
lol - "we give up motherfucker, ur getting bloated"
― ꙮ (map), Monday, 30 January 2023 19:58 (one year ago) link
Maybe my most "I'm in my forties" realization yet came when I had two falls on the ice in as many days and, unlike when such things would happen to me when I was younger, I really am feeling it now. Was up til 4AM last night with pain in my left leg, and this morning's dog-walk was less than pleasant (though mercifully didn't result in another fall).
― niall horanburger (cryptosicko), Thursday, 2 March 2023 17:06 (one year ago) link
Typed out a bunch of stuff that's been going on with my health and deleted it, basically it's been rough going and I miss pizza, beer, and cookies. Trying not to think about food as source of pleasure and focus on other things (making music, reading, Disco Elysium). And people I guess.
― change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 2 March 2023 18:56 (one year ago) link
Sorry to hear that Jordan. All I’ve had to give up lately has been coffee and that’s been tuff enuf
― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 2 March 2023 19:04 (one year ago) link
Wait, why did you have to give up coffee again?Also sorry to hear that, Jordan. Also a little sheepish and sorry to barge into y’all’s decade.
― Wile E. Galore (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 2 March 2023 19:07 (one year ago) link
I still have coffee! Gotta appreciate that.
― change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 2 March 2023 19:25 (one year ago) link
i had this phantom knee injury that defied diagnosis a few years ago. it wasn't located in one specific spot and if something were to graze the area in the right way, it could be excruciating. had two bouts in my right knee and the best guess I got was that it was a nerve issue originating somewhere else, but we never got to the bottom of it. well, now it's in my left knee and it's made sleeping super fucking difficult and pretty tough to play with my kids etc. i'm just toughing it out because nothing at all seemed to help aside from time. its tough not to help outloud when someone gently brushes it and i suddenly feel like they sliced me with a razor blade
― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 2 March 2023 21:23 (one year ago) link
I am probably the strongest physically I've ever been in my life but then I pull a chest muscle due to overconfidence and lol whelp!
― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 March 2023 21:01 (one year ago) link
Over the past year I've been feeling steadily shittier and shittier, and I assumed it was all because I'm getting older. While I am getting older, I'm pretty sure I'm anemic because I stopped eating meat. My iron was already on the low side beforehand. My joints hurt, my head is fuzzy and I have very little energy. Iron supplements upset my stomach and I'm already eating loads of lentils and kale and iron rich foods.
Now I'm eating meat like it's going out of style. Sorry cows, I can't feel like this any more.
― Cow_Art, Friday, 10 March 2023 21:07 (one year ago) link
don't eat too much or it's gout time
WHY IS FOOD TRYING 2 KILL US
― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 March 2023 21:08 (one year ago) link
I highly recommend iron infusions. Talk to your friendly neighborhood hematologist. During the worst of my anemia it was the only thing that gave me any sort of life.
― Jeff, Friday, 10 March 2023 21:10 (one year ago) link
i feel like once a week now some part of my body starts hurting for no reason i really hate the 20’s version of myself that took “feeling fine always” for granted
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 10 March 2023 23:45 (one year ago) link
xpost it's very easy to get a complete blood count which will show whether you are anemic and could suggest iron deficiency as the cause. can also get your iron level measured. bad fatigue and joint pain could have other causes - not medical advice but consider seeing your GP
― that's not my post, Friday, 10 March 2023 23:48 (one year ago) link
I have an appointment but I’m new in town so it’s a month off as a new patient.
― Cow_Art, Saturday, 11 March 2023 00:07 (one year ago) link
Do you walk around with the “new kid in town” on repeat
― calstars, Saturday, 11 March 2023 02:37 (one year ago) link
I went for a frew blood pressure check and had worryingly high BP - in a “level 2 hypertension, go to the emergency room right away“ kind of way - and went to A&E to check for blood clots. Spent seven hours in A&E next to a drunk dude retching into a bucket. Worrying! There was no blood clot but I had to test my blood pressure at home for two weeks and bring the results to the GP.
The GP said the results were fine and my blood pressure was normal and that it was normal for it to go up and down randomly. So basically a waste of two weeks, and glad everything is ok, but the experience of two weeks of solid worrying was traumatic in itself.
― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 11 March 2023 11:12 (one year ago) link
I got the classic “you seem very tense” from the doctor at A&E and I said, “yes because I’ve been in A&E for seven hours next to a guy retching in a bucket”
― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 11 March 2023 11:14 (one year ago) link
The shit part of high BP is being aware of it and then having that anxiety frequently spiking your BP
― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal), Saturday, 11 March 2023 13:07 (one year ago) link
Anxiety will temporarily spike your heart rate, not necessarily your BP
― calstars, Saturday, 11 March 2023 14:49 (one year ago) link
Anxiety can totally temporarily spike your BP. it's short term, sure, like if you take your BP many times during the day and you don't normally have high BP, you should get some normal readings among the high ones.
It's why white-coat hypertension is a thing.
https://health.umms.org/2022/10/27/anxiety-and-high-blood-pressure/
― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal), Saturday, 11 March 2023 15:05 (one year ago) link
i feel like once a week now some part of my body starts hurting for no reason
oof - last week I had a few days of the "lower back pain of unknown provenance"
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 March 2023 16:02 (one year ago) link
i'm doing more or less ok for late 40s and my philosophy is that even if something hurts or i have to take bp meds now (lol) these are now the good times. it's not getting better from here so i might as well enjoy these years.
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Saturday, 11 March 2023 16:09 (one year ago) link
Not sure if this is the pandemic's doing but I now consistently believe I am one or two years younger than I actually am.
― nashwan, Saturday, 11 March 2023 16:15 (one year ago) link
yesterday I had to tap out of my exercise program midway through due to leg cramps. getting lazy on warming up doesn't pay off.
― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal), Saturday, 11 March 2023 16:20 (one year ago) link
these are now the good times. it's not getting better from here so i might as well enjoy these years.
otm ... very otm
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 March 2023 16:21 (one year ago) link
i would also like to advise a regular stretching and balance exercise regimen -- nothing too time consuming just focused on those two things. i know the other types of exercise are important, but stretching helps a LOT in feeling better and balance is necessary if you want to avoid falling down and what that brings.
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Saturday, 11 March 2023 16:26 (one year ago) link
yeah that is a healthy perspective LL!i will try to embrace that outlook <3
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 11 March 2023 16:27 (one year ago) link
I've been thinking about sending out birthday invitations for my 50th this year. Last night I dreamt, why do I need to send out invitations now? I'm not fifty for another two years... three years... five years! :/
― ledge, Friday, 9 June 2023 08:19 (eleven months ago) link
I’ve recently had to change the default display setting on my iphone to zoomed. Struggling to make out small text. Officially old
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 13:19 (nine months ago) link
RIP
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 14:26 (nine months ago) link
Think I'm still older than you because I read that and thought, "Oh, what a good idea! Let me look into Settings and ... ... oh, I'll just keep putting my readers on, nevermind."
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 14:27 (nine months ago) link
Had trouble watching a subtitled film on TV the other day; had to switch to the iPad so I could be closer to the text.
― niall horanburger (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 15:03 (nine months ago) link
oh god i just don't know why they put things in that fucking tiny print, it's impossible, if i get too close i'm farsighted and i can't read it, and if i get farther i'm nearsighted and i can't read it, there's like one subpixel of space where it's halfway legible. like i'm sorry, was this put together by robert walser in an insane asylum*? is your hobby engraving the bible on a grain of rice? are you brainwashed by capitalism into believing that you are personally responsible for the deforestation of the amazon?
* wow apparently i'm just going with the deep cuts today, thanks for tuning in, next up is "too many hopes" by pilot from their 1976 album _morin heights_
― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 15:12 (nine months ago) link
I keep trying to just rub my eyes to make text less blurry and easier to read at smaller sizes. Sometimes this works…
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 15:15 (nine months ago) link
Discord text is hella small. Ageists
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 15:16 (nine months ago) link
am going to need reading glasses soon I think. I thought I might already need them because have been having trouble reading v small print like on medication leaflets since last autumn, but noticed if I take off my glasses (which are for myopia not reading) then I can still manage it. but presumably that won't work for too much longer.
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 15:20 (nine months ago) link
Another place they put really small text is on the backs of smoke detectors. Seriously…how do they expect elders to be able to read the legend that shows what the beeps and colored lights mean…
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 15:54 (nine months ago) link
wait ... the backs? As in the part that gets affixed to the ceiling or elevated surface? I am confused. ... also in aging eyesight anecdotes, if I need to refer to text on a piece of paper, I now have to put it on the side where my "strong eye" is, because if I put it on the other side ... you guessed it, blurry!
― sarahell, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 19:38 (nine months ago) link
Never posted in this thread and now it's too late :(
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 19:39 (nine months ago) link
happy birthday? i haven't got that much longer here myself, tbh
― sarahell, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 19:40 (nine months ago) link
Do you need help finding the sequel thread?
― Live and Left Eye (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 19:42 (nine months ago) link
how do they expect elders to be able to read the legend that shows what the beeps and colored lights mean…
It means your house is on fire.
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 19:51 (nine months ago) link
Next one is here: This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's
― Live and Left Eye (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 19:57 (nine months ago) link
Oh I know where that one is, I just saw this one bumped today and was mourning my lost early middle age
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:04 (nine months ago) link
Sara yea the backs! We had one that wouldn’t stop beeping (of course at 3 am) so I had to tear it out of its wiring on the ceiling. Safe and fun
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:13 (nine months ago) link
I don't want to go to the other thread.
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:19 (nine months ago) link
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 15:20 (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
my near sight started to go a few years back and experience as follows:
varifocals now dont have a line or anything fyi they ask you to focus on a dot and do something clever with the shaping of the lens itself
― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:23 (nine months ago) link
I’m putting it off for as long as possible and pretending it will never happen
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:23 (nine months ago) link
Turning 50 that is
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:24 (nine months ago) link
I got too old for this thread a few months ago. But just saying that feeling for the first time when you realise you can't read small text anymore is so deflating, it's a much worse feeling than an itch you can't scratch. It's like solid mass turning into a mirage and taking the piss out of you. I've got used to it now but it is still rage inducing that they have such small text on the printed stickers on prescription drugs boxes.
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:27 (nine months ago) link
i had my readers on my night stand, but now they travel to the couch, the kitchen counter, etc. looks like i need another pair or two.
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:30 (nine months ago) link
this has been happening to me too. i take a picture of it with my phone and then zoom in :/
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:31 (nine months ago) link
the worst is directions on pills / supplements / multivitamins. like, i can't understand how i could have ever read them without a magnifying glass.
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:33 (nine months ago) link
i would take this vitamin a supplement but i can't find my glasses to find out what the right dose is
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:35 (nine months ago) link
on the other hand, it's pretty fun to do a milhouse voice "my glaaaasssesss, where are my glaaasses" every time i can't find them
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:36 (nine months ago) link
― Guayaquil (eephus!)
not to one-up you but i lost the first 43 years of my life
― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:46 (nine months ago) link
I can read small print, no bother, without glasses. Then again, if I wear my normal glasses, no chance.
(Am a "60's" representative, just passing through)
― Mark G, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 20:52 (nine months ago) link
Have you considered printing out the smoke detector instructions in large print? This being the 40+ thread where we grew up with paper manuals for things…
― sarahell, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 21:11 (nine months ago) link
I still have “the manuals folder” …
― sarahell, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 21:13 (nine months ago) link
I have gone from no glasses at all to cannot read at all without glasses in about 5 years, not sure if it's just that my eyes have adjusted to them or if it will get worse
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 21:14 (nine months ago) link
still take them off to see long distance, but driving with the satnav on means perching the things on the end of my nose, the solution would seem to be varifocals I guess, don't even turn 44 until Sunday.
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 21:18 (nine months ago) link
― The land of dreams and endless remorse (hardcore dilettante), Tuesday, 18 July 2023 21:20 (nine months ago) link
Can’t find it on the App Store but plenty of copy cats
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 21:25 (nine months ago) link
I went to the Apple Store and the staffer in his 20s opened up my air pods case and read the tiny serial number inside the flip cover. I was like what is this magic
― calstars, Tuesday, 18 July 2023 21:26 (nine months ago) link
I was pleasantly surprised by the effectiveness of readers. And the cheap price tag!
I kept thinking, Crap, I don't want to go back to the optometrist and pay $350 for glasses.
― pplains, Wednesday, 19 July 2023 13:47 (nine months ago) link
I had been doing readers for a long time, but they were getting annoying. They'd break often and I didn't like doubling up when I wore my regular glasses. Finally got progressive lens glasses and bifocal contacts, big improvement. I highly recommend them.
― Muad'Doob (Moodles), Wednesday, 19 July 2023 14:20 (nine months ago) link
i just struggled to read a fish food label for 5 minutes because of the small type
― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 19 July 2023 14:21 (nine months ago) link
Tell me more about bifocal contacts, please. This is different than doing two different contacts for near/close correction? I tried that one and didn’t last an hour.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 19 July 2023 15:14 (nine months ago) link
the thing that complicates things more is my astigmatism... it's one of the things that makes me a bad driver, my peripheral vision is trash. you know how you're supposed to flick your eyes to the side to check your rear and side views? yeah i always just turn my head. YES I KNOW THIS IS BAD.
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 20 July 2023 15:58 (nine months ago) link
Can contacts correct a bad astigmatism these days? Asking for a friend from another thread.
― Live and Left Eye (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 20 July 2023 16:06 (nine months ago) link
Not sure about "bad astigmatism," but I have contacts that correct mine
― fair but so uncool beliefs here (Eric H.), Thursday, 20 July 2023 16:16 (nine months ago) link
I have two astigmatisms and my contact lenses are designed for it and help me see but other than that lol
― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Thursday, 20 July 2023 16:26 (nine months ago) link
i hated contacts even before transition, these days having big femme glasses is kind of a must for me haha
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 20 July 2023 17:12 (nine months ago) link
My 10 yo looked at my phone and said “why is everything so big?” I was like, “I’m old”
― calstars, Friday, 21 July 2023 23:58 (nine months ago) link
2023: the year vision broke
― calstars, Friday, 21 July 2023 23:59 (nine months ago) link
2023: What The Fuuk Does That Say
― here 1st (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 1 August 2023 15:46 (nine months ago) link
2023: Putting my readers on to see my GTA crew's Discord channel.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 August 2023 15:51 (nine months ago) link
hi there, i am both 40 and also have experience trying several different contacts to correct my bad astigmatism in my right eye. in short: there are many different brands that claim to do it, and in my experience they all suck. at least for me, they end up irritating my eye, in some cases even making it bloodshot, but usually just feeling uncomfortable, making me blink a lot, lots of taking it out and cleaning it and putting it back in, etc.
after years of wearing just one contact (on my non-astigmatic but just plain bad vision left eye), i finally got glasses a few years ago and will likely never go back
― z_tbd, Tuesday, 1 August 2023 15:55 (nine months ago) link
i've never read this thread, but i'm gonna guess it involves lower back pain
― z_tbd, Tuesday, 1 August 2023 15:56 (nine months ago) link
― calstars, Tuesday, 1 August 2023 16:41 (nine months ago) link
PS4 team set up so we can make our farmville drug and weapons deliveries without being griefed by the 13-year-olds.https://mcceoteam.com/
Don't reveal too much about yourself. The guy who admitted he was 34 is now referred to as "Grampa".
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 August 2023 16:52 (nine months ago) link
Thank you! I’ll check this out
― calstars, Tuesday, 1 August 2023 17:20 (nine months ago) link
i think this might be one of those glimpses into the "next thread" but ...
going from spotting "local celebs" at shows to ... spotting "local celebs" at the hospital pharmacy
― sarahell, Thursday, 3 August 2023 13:40 (nine months ago) link
“Pushing 50” vomits
― calstars, Friday, 13 October 2023 21:26 (seven months ago) link
Can we talk about foot problems?
― sarahell, Saturday, 14 October 2023 22:00 (seven months ago) link
Sure, if you want.
― Jeff, Saturday, 14 October 2023 22:21 (seven months ago) link
Let’s hear it
― calstars, Saturday, 14 October 2023 22:40 (seven months ago) link
I've walked a *lot* this year but shit my left big toe is hurting right now. I have a voice that keeps whispering GOUT, but, despite my old man suffering from it a fair bit, I don't think it's that. Wear and tear?
― I would prefer not to. (Chinaski), Saturday, 14 October 2023 23:31 (seven months ago) link
I just passed the threshold for 40's thread this year, but interloping here about my ankle. I have a clear memory of a doc telling me pre the ankle surgery "this is a life changing injury" and cocky early 30's me thinking 'tone it down grandpops, I'm indestructible'. But this piece of metal in my ankle has no doubt been life changing in all sorts of shit ways. I have been limping since my mid 30's and had all sorts of problems and persistent low to mid level pain with it.
But unexpectedly the condition of the ankle has also got better the older I get. The doc gave me a door hinge analogy about my broken ankle at the time and suggested it likely will cause a lot of discomfort but will be justified in the long term - it seems like he wasn't talking absolute shite!
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Sunday, 15 October 2023 00:02 (six months ago) link
it seems like joints generally get worse with age, so at least you’ve got the one replacement part that just needed some breaking in?
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Sunday, 15 October 2023 14:42 (six months ago) link
it's getting colder now and I've probably cursed my luck here and it will start paining like hell every morning.
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Sunday, 15 October 2023 14:50 (six months ago) link
but generally at the moment I think my plated right ankle does actually feel better than lefty. It's got bionic powers.
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Sunday, 15 October 2023 14:52 (six months ago) link
I'm close to ending my '40s and I still feel in top condition. I lost a lot of weight in 2016 and have kept it off, I scrupulously watch my diet (it's no longer a problem, nor do I need to relax it on vacation), work out every day, drink coffee only in the morning, drink booze moderately during the week. Smoking a bit more after those drinks when there are other friends has become a problem I need to watch, however.
― hat trick of trashiness (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 19 October 2023 15:13 (six months ago) link
― pplains, Thursday, 19 October 2023 16:27 (six months ago) link
At least we know where to use apostrophes
― calstars, Thursday, 19 October 2023 17:17 (six months ago) link
Alfred was talking about ending his 1940s
― Dwigt Rortugal (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 October 2023 17:19 (six months ago) link
Lol I was waiting for someone to bump this. I missed the eyesight convo in July but that's the only thing I've noticed that's different now than it was five years ago. If it weren't for that feel pretty much the same as when I was 30ish. Prob need a new RX soon but I'm not gonna complain too much cause so far I've gotten off v easy.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 19 October 2023 17:23 (six months ago) link
In the style of the foggies in that other thread (jokes) - 28/45.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 19 October 2023 17:27 (six months ago) link
I didn’t catch Alfred’s error, was referring to the “…50’s” of that other thread. Guess we’re in the same boat after all
― calstars, Thursday, 19 October 2023 17:40 (six months ago) link
I'll be 50 in six and a half months. I was thinking today at work that I can't put off getting a new glasses prescription anymore. It's definitely going to be for varifocals. I was trying to read the text on a label and the usual trick of alternating between looking over the top of my glasses and holding the item at near arms length was no longer cutting it. On the other hand, I'm regaining the reasonably flat stomach.
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Thursday, 19 October 2023 18:02 (six months ago) link
aside from perpetually needing to lose the usual 20-40lbs the only future milestones im currently acknowledging are retirement and finishing the mortgage
perhaps im being slightly optimistic about what the next uh 23 years have in store tbf
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 October 2023 21:38 (six months ago) link
Can we talk about foot problems?― sarahell
Let’s hear it― calstars
― calstars
i fell in the garage during the time i was coming out. only boot i can wear is an unna boot.
i've always had some serious issues with my feet. used to walk like a duck, or anton lavey. "learning to walk like a woman", for me, was basically the same as "learning to walk".
anyway i got what i call "susan foreman ankle" and the doctors call "chronic ankle instability". i liked walking a lot when i was younger. helped clear my head, helped keep me in shape. now if i walk more than a mile or so my the outside of my left foot starts hurting like the dickens. i did three months of physical therapy but there's apparently permanent nerve damage.
i keep working myself up to scheduling myself for another physical therapist referral. my foot, for one, but my scoliosis has also been causing me a lot of trouble lately. i'm wondering if i'm getting herniated on the left side. it's mostly thoracic pain. doing a lot of tissue massage. it's like one of those things you'd see in a nora ephron comedy or something, you can hear a hitachi buzzing and i'm making these moans of pleasure and when you actually get to see me i'm fully clothed and using it on my back, like, you know, it was designed for. i mean, i'm asexual, what did you _think_ i was doing with it?
i really am looking forward to growing old, not just because dying of natural causes is considered "winning" in my demographic, but because god i am _really_ going to enjoy making other people uncomfortable by talking about my medical history in detail.
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 19 October 2023 21:59 (six months ago) link
I like to walk too and my ailment is a vague discomfort at the joint that connects the big toe to the foot upon flexing
― calstars, Saturday, 21 October 2023 12:45 (six months ago) link
From 19-20 I had a constant sinus infection and the college health center's solution was to sell me 500 count bottles of pseudoephedrine for $8, I was taking 15-20 a day and I can't be sure there was a direct correlation but eventually I had my first gout attack. Fucked me up good several times a year for over a decade no matter what I ate/drank or weighed. Finally discovered Febucip (allopurinol didn't work) and started buying it from a pharmacy in India. Haven't had a twinge in seven or eight years even as I've cut down to 40mg every other day (and sometimes every third day).
― papal hotwife (milo z), Saturday, 21 October 2023 14:02 (six months ago) link
From 19-20 I had a constant sinus infection and the college health center's solution was to sell me 500 count bottles of pseudoephedrine for $8― papal hotwife (milo z)
― papal hotwife (milo z)
god those were the days, did they give you a pamphlet on how to make meth with it too? :)
― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 21 October 2023 15:34 (six months ago) link
Shit I didn't need to cook, that regimen already had me weighing less than I did as a six-inches-shorter high school freshman.
― papal hotwife (milo z), Saturday, 21 October 2023 21:44 (six months ago) link
that is a LOT of pseudo per day dang dudei can’t take more than 1 or i feel completely untethered lol #baby
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 21 October 2023 22:07 (six months ago) link
that is a shocking amount of pseudoephedrine to take every day. i used to take the equivalent of about eight a day and i felt unhinged all the time, tho my grades weren’t terrible
― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Saturday, 21 October 2023 23:16 (six months ago) link
Wait like pure pseudoephedrine or just sudafed? $8 for that much is a really good deal!
― sarahell, Sunday, 22 October 2023 03:31 (six months ago) link
Generic sudafed. It was an amazing deal and I dearly wish tweakers hadn't ruined everything - I take two almost every day because of allergies, having to go to the pharmacy and have my ID scanned to only buy 48 at a time is a PITA.
― papal hotwife (milo z), Sunday, 22 October 2023 03:36 (six months ago) link
Bald spot for days
― calstars, Sunday, 5 November 2023 20:11 (six months ago) link
finally had my eye test after months of specsavers reminders. Standard degradation of the eyes and new glasses soon.
ending my 40's in two days.
― Ste, Monday, 6 November 2023 09:20 (six months ago) link
I'm out of here in a couple of weeks.. on to lurking in the 50s thread.
― Sam Burnt-Friedman (beard papa), Monday, 6 November 2023 20:46 (six months ago) link
Began my fifties last week. Good lord, does that sound weird.
― pplains, Monday, 6 November 2023 21:20 (six months ago) link
Tiktok brought out Hum on 120 Minutes playing "Stars" from 1995, and I was all Here we go, the algorithm's finally giving me something besides tornado videos.
How can a man in his fifties be interested in seeing Hum playing "Stars" on tiktok. Must be a mistake made somewhere.
― pplains, Monday, 6 November 2023 21:22 (six months ago) link
Hahabetter Hum than Olivia Rodrigo though amirite
― calstars, Monday, 6 November 2023 21:49 (six months ago) link
I keep thinking about the age descriptive “pushing 50” as a term that could be used to describe me and vomits
― calstars, Monday, 6 November 2023 21:51 (six months ago) link
I thinks there's at least a 6 month grace period where you can hang around PP.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 6 November 2023 21:52 (six months ago) link
Had to look up who Olivia Rodrigo was because I'M FIFTY, CALSTARS.
― pplains, Tuesday, 7 November 2023 03:35 (six months ago) link
Finally being prescribed a beta blocker after they heard my heart pounding out of my chest at docs
My resting heart rate has been awful my entire life
Been hoping for this for a long time
― a very very unfair (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 November 2023 19:48 (five months ago) link
<3welcome
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 November 2023 20:24 (five months ago) link
I've always used a set of clippers with the cage off to shave my head but I was sold on getting a skullshaver by an evangelical baldhead in Cornwall so got one for Christmas. The thing is easy to set up, doesn't make a hair of mess and takes about 5 minutes to enbald an average human head, but, well, I've been bald for the best part of 15 years but damn now I'm *really* bald.
nb not an advertisement, just felt the need to share.
― I would prefer not to. (Chinaski), Monday, 1 January 2024 15:00 (four months ago) link
sounds like a Viking weapon
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Monday, 1 January 2024 15:15 (four months ago) link
I do feel a bit flayed.
― I would prefer not to. (Chinaski), Monday, 1 January 2024 16:14 (four months ago) link
i found myself in an impromptu nye countdown last night, where we kind of put our hands in the center and slowly went "whooooooooooaaaaaaa!" as we raised our arms together and got louder and louder. right at 0:00:00 we all went "woo!" and i involuntarily farted at that exact moment, right as 2024 started. "god, i'm 40" i said, and the one other person there around my age said "heard that"
― z_tbd, Monday, 1 January 2024 16:21 (four months ago) link
Definitely going to need varifocals but if I procrastinate for a few months that'll be a problem for me in my 50s.
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Saturday, 27 January 2024 18:31 (three months ago) link
Eyesight def one thing that has gotten worse in the last 5 years
― calstars, Saturday, 27 January 2024 18:44 (three months ago) link
I’m resisting glasses though, i can still see fine 99 pct of the time. Bar menus without good lighting an exception
― calstars, Saturday, 27 January 2024 18:46 (three months ago) link
new varifocals dont even have a line tbf the lens radiates out as required
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Saturday, 27 January 2024 18:51 (three months ago) link
A colleague at work has been wearing them for years and I didn't know.
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Saturday, 27 January 2024 19:17 (three months ago) link
Getting progressive lens glasses and bifocal contacts was a massive life improvement for me
― Muad'Doob (Moodles), Saturday, 27 January 2024 19:52 (three months ago) link
"inevitable" ouch.
― Deflatormouse, Saturday, 27 January 2024 20:26 (three months ago) link
yep, these are my people
― Deflatormouse, Saturday, 27 January 2024 20:30 (three months ago) link
xp "inevitable" because the 20s and 30s threads were created a couple of days before.
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Saturday, 27 January 2024 20:31 (three months ago) link
I'm turning 40 in June and this is me--ditto for browsers, though it's more for comfort than strict necessity. (Even though I already have a glasses prescription so strong that my partner winced when she tried them on.) I've switched my PlayStation 5 to my gaming computer monitor, rather than the TV, since I feel like I miss out on too many small details while sitting across the room on the couch.
I used to be a night owl but my bed time is now 11 p.m.--sometimes even 10:30 on a tiring day. I don't have much interest in late nights at the bar anymore but that still felt like a small symbolic surrender. I do miss midnight movies, though, since there are so many good ones in Chicago. When is some theater going to do capitalize on folks like us with a weekend "midnight at noon" series?
Every time I get some new passing ache or fatigue, there's a bit of me going, "oh god, is this some new permanent change I'm going to have to live with from now on?"
― blatherskite, Thursday, 1 February 2024 18:25 (three months ago) link
I haven't had any aches or pains or anything like that yet. The fucking eyesight thing is literally the only thing that reminds me of how old I am. Will prob need reading glasses next year but I'll take that. Could be a lot worse.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 1 February 2024 19:45 (three months ago) link
Last night my husband had to get a knot he described as “enormous “ out of my right hip— it had been giving me grief for days, I thought I had a slipped disc or something. It took him 20 minutes and a lot of me moaning and screaming to get it to a good place. Then we had sex, though, so I guess I am still 39 lmfao.
― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Friday, 2 February 2024 12:13 (three months ago) link
health update
i put off seeing my eye doctor a little too long. i was driving home from a movie at 11 at night and drove straight onto a meridian. kind of a wake-up call. not only am i the same terrible driver i've always been (one of the effects of my diplopia means that i have basically no peripheral vision, plus there's the ADHD), i've basically completely lost any night vision i had. so i'm taking a break from driving for a while. i work from home and live close to transit so i figure i can swing it. it takes longer to get places so i get out less but i can still get to places when i need to. i'm seeing my eye doctor today - i can't just see any eye doctor. there's only certain eye doctors who will treat diplopia. i have to have special glasses made too, i can't just order from warby parker or whatever. it's fine, i have good vision insurance, and it just makes me think of some artisan grinding glass in a workshop somewhere. which probably isn't how it actually happens.
i tried starting physical therapy three months ago and then stopped going because of the holidays, the ice storm, clinical depression, etc. wound up going back yesterday, my physical therapist showed me some great exercises i could do on the days i'm too depressed to get out of bed. the ankle instability did cause me some issues in december... i fell while climbing the stairs and i banged up my left leg really badly. i've mostly recovered from that. i also bought an ankle support for when i need to walk. it doesn't do a lot, but it does something.
on top of the kyphosis i've started developing scoliosis on my left side over the past couple of years. it's really been bothering me and that's mainly what i've been focusing on. honestly i think the scoliosis does bother me more than the hunchback thing. i kind of like being able to tell people i'm a hunchback. then they argue with me (which is a weird thing to do but also a _normal_ weird thing? if you know what i'm saying?) and i get all salty, like, what, because i don't look like quasimoto? then i go off on this whole rant about kyphophobia in the media. it's one of those weird things, saying stuff like that is a good way of blowing off steam from constantly feeling pressured to talk about transphobia.
anyway my physical therapist told me about something called the schroth method which is apparently really effective on scoliosis. i said i'd look into it later because, you know, she's giving me exercises i can do when i'm too depressed to get out of bed at this point.
one thing i've definitely noticed is that i get a lot of bruises and don't know where or how i got them. right now i got this _huge_ bruise on the left side of my right leg and no idea how i got it. i do think a lot of it is the duloxetine i'm taking - i think that's made me bleed a lot easier. and maybe some of it estrogen making me more thin-skinned as well, but it's gotten more prominent in the last year or so, so i think some of it is age.
the main thing that's bumming me out is that i've crossed the point where i can say i'm in my "mid-40s" and gone over to having to say that i'm in my "late 40s". for some reason that's hit me particularly hard. i'm turning 48 in a couple months. i don't know why i feel old all of a sudden but i do. the new batch of people transitioning... even the ones transitioning later in life, pretty much all of them are younger than me. i do feel like a senior citizen, and it's not a good feeling.
― Kate (rushomancy), Friday, 2 February 2024 15:20 (three months ago) link
x-p foreplay is foreplay, i guess.
― pplains, Friday, 2 February 2024 15:21 (three months ago) link
Last night my husband had to get a knot he described as “enormous “ out of my right hip— it had been giving me grief for days, I thought I had a slipped disc or something. It took him 20 minutes and a lot of me moaning and screaming to get it to a good place.Then we had sex, though, so I guess I am still 39 lmfao.― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table)
Then we had sex, though, so I guess I am still 39 lmfao.
― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table)
meanwhile here i am at 47 and getting a knot massaged out of my hip sounds way better to me than sex lol. it's not a joke - well, i mean it is a joke, but it's also true - i got a back massager and i literally just use it on my back, because that's where it feels good. also though i am asexual, which probably has something to do with it.
― Kate (rushomancy), Friday, 2 February 2024 15:23 (three months ago) link
― blatherskite, Thursday, 1 February 2024 18:25 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
this kind of thing, yes
i missed a couple of games of footy before christmas, my only exercise that ive ever persistently been able to keep up over the years, and after a month of missing it every week i started to ask myself "have i played my last game of football?" which is not a stage I was ready for just yet tbh
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, 2 February 2024 21:24 (three months ago) link
tabes theres a "rubbing it in" joke there somewhere
moshed last night and sat down to catch my breath and the security guy (a 20-something) came up to me to ask if I was ok and I said "yes, just old"
― never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 2 February 2024 21:28 (three months ago) link
what a nice young man he was tho
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, 2 February 2024 21:30 (three months ago) link
yeah he's cool, we know each other so I knew he'd find that amusing
― never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 2 February 2024 21:33 (three months ago) link
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, February 2, 2024 4:24 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
I'm 51 so I encourage you to keep going, but I made the decision last year to walk away from ultimate frisbee after 18 years, so I get it.
― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Saturday, 3 February 2024 00:59 (three months ago) link
things fell into place as it happens, i got a game (possibly two) a week with the right level of players ten mins up the road in mid january
put me in coach i got one last decade in me
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Saturday, 3 February 2024 01:11 (three months ago) link
I played every week, all through my 30s but gave up due to fucked knees on pretty much my 40th birthday. I miss it terribly. Hang in there!
― I would prefer not to. (Chinaski), Sunday, 4 February 2024 21:52 (three months ago) link
shoulder regularly popping...this is a thing?
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 February 2024 00:48 (two months ago) link
my shoulder is one of the few joints that doesn’t regularly pop and I see that as a shortcoming note, through, that I have been able to crack nearly every joint on demand if I’ve been idle for more than an hour for most of my life. just popped both elbows by stretching my arms
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Thursday, 15 February 2024 03:35 (two months ago) link
popping contest
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 February 2024 03:49 (two months ago) link
pop and lock dancing where we pop all the joints we can and cringe on the locked ones
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Thursday, 15 February 2024 03:50 (two months ago) link
pop my meds and try to remember if i locked my front door amirite
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 15 February 2024 03:57 (two months ago) link
I've gotten three times the charlie horses waking up than I ever used to
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 February 2024 04:50 (two months ago) link
poplockin’ beats from Korea
― calstars, Thursday, 15 February 2024 11:48 (two months ago) link
My bad 40s development is that I seem to only be able to crack my neck on one side now, compared to the both sides I could do for decades prior
― Rich E. (Eric H.), Thursday, 15 February 2024 13:54 (two months ago) link
Not my only bad 40s development, of course
How many pills do you take every day?
― Jeff, Saturday, 24 February 2024 12:54 (two months ago) link
Being in your forties is rising early to be at the car dealership for an oil change at 7:20.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 24 February 2024 12:55 (two months ago) link
I've gotten three times the charlie horses waking up than I ever used to― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal)
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal)
god, i used to wake up with charley horses all the time and haven't gotten them at all for a while now. it's nice to be reminded of things like that.
― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 24 February 2024 16:23 (two months ago) link
reached a milestone today, as i enter the twilight of my firties: slipped & fell in the shower luckily no serious injury except wounded pride and a sore tailbone but still IT BEGINS
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 25 February 2024 04:54 (two months ago) link
I've been getting terrible foot cramps, usually at night, and almost always while lying in bed
Of course Dr Google's diagnosis ranges from dehydration to diabetes. It's probably just bad circulation, which I've suspected I've had for a while, given that I can't feel my fingertips these days if the apartment dips below 70 degrees
Also, since it was mentioned already here, I regret not getting progressive lenses last time I had an eye exam. My doctor was pushing for it but I was worried I wouldn't like them (or that they would exacerbate my migraines) and its not like you can sample them and then decide. Still, almost immediately I began noticing how often I have been taking my glasses on and off. Like when needing to see the tv remote in the dark but also needing to see the tv screen
― Paul Ponzi, Sunday, 25 February 2024 22:50 (two months ago) link
sorry man thats cancer for sure
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Sunday, 25 February 2024 22:56 (two months ago) link
nb self diagnoser via google speaking
I get cramps in my foot all the time, especially when I'm lying on an acupuncture bed, which is every other day.
― This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 25 February 2024 22:59 (two months ago) link
Huh, I'd never come across the term Charley Horse before. So that's what it's called. Absolutely terrifying to get one in your sleep
― your mom goes to limgrave (dog latin), Monday, 26 February 2024 23:47 (two months ago) link
A reckoning: Always figured I had great eyesight until the other day I was in the pub with my dad and apropos of nothing he got me to try on his specs and suddenly it was like seeing in 8K
― your mom goes to limgrave (dog latin), Monday, 26 February 2024 23:49 (two months ago) link
we should do a service to ilxors of age and send them an alert when they’re commented about the text being too small on something multiple times over the course of a year
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Monday, 26 February 2024 23:57 (two months ago) link
Not long after a friend of mine turned 50 he went to the eye doctor, and his eye doctor told him he needed reading glasses. "Really?" said my friend. Apparently the eye doctor put his hand on my friend's shoulder and said "You've had a good run."
I vaguely recall being in my '20s and people saying, man, enjoy it while it lasts, because things change in your '30s. Then in my '30s, it was "look out for your '40s." A few weeks ago I turned 49, and now I hear 55 is the magic inflection point, but I've been doing OK. Don't need readers yet, healthy, happy enough. It's quite amazing how the age scale keeps shifting, it's surreal. I used to think 40 was old, then 50 was old, then 60 was old. Sometimes I wonder if all it took was society realizing that smoking and drinking and red meat were really bad for you and to try and keep that shit in check.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 27 February 2024 01:27 (two months ago) link
you need readers
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Tuesday, 27 February 2024 03:40 (two months ago) link
you need readers― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh)
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh)
god damn right i do, i've been writing for 20 years now and i've got, like, three. THREE!
― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 27 February 2024 03:42 (two months ago) link
I don't need readers yet (although I will soon, am on the cusp) but my neck is fucking killing me
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 27 February 2024 08:26 (two months ago) link
Neck pain is frequently the result of years of bad posture. Holding your phone down on your chest/abdomen and craning your neck down to look at it can be a contributing factor. Try holding the phone away from you and closer to head height. Hard to remember but it actually makes a difference if you are on your phone a lot.
― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Tuesday, 27 February 2024 12:41 (two months ago) link
it instantly makes you look like an old person however
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 February 2024 13:35 (two months ago) link
So does having chronic neck pain.
― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Tuesday, 27 February 2024 14:45 (two months ago) link
it instantly makes you look like an old person however― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac)
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac)
deems i _am_ an old person
learning how to optimally move my body through physical therapy has been a fucking life-changer, i can't recommend it enough
― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 27 February 2024 16:58 (two months ago) link
Charlie horses are leg cramps huh. I had them ALL THE TIME when I was pregnant. and also after when I used to go to gigs.
― kinder, Tuesday, 27 February 2024 21:49 (two months ago) link
I guess this is the general body complaint thread now so I’ll share that I have a rash on two of my fingers
― calstars, Tuesday, 27 February 2024 21:58 (two months ago) link
So I called your mom and told her I couldn’t make it tonight
― calstars, Tuesday, 27 February 2024 22:01 (two months ago) link
Guilty lol
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 27 February 2024 22:58 (two months ago) link
To read books, I don't need glasses.
To read this screen, I need this pair (blue)
To drive, the black pair.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 27 February 2024 23:52 (two months ago) link
Drinking pickle juice instantly cures leg cramps for me. Learned it from my dad who gets brutal cramps.
― Cow_Art, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 00:12 (two months ago) link
My life was greatly improved when I moved from readers to progressive lens glasses and bifocal contacts.
― Muad'Doob (Moodles), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 00:50 (two months ago) link
pickle juice? just get some damn electrolytes!seriously though, any sports thing with some essential salts and getting more potassium in your diet helps with the cramps and it’s like magic for me. results may vary
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 04:21 (two months ago) link
thing = drink
Pickle juice taste better though.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 09:45 (two months ago) link
Yeah I was going to say - bananas help with leg cramps if you get them a lot because of the potassium but I would be fine with drinking pickle juice too.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 09:49 (two months ago) link
is pickle juice....vinegar?
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 11:50 (two months ago) link
cucumber and dill flavoured vinegar
― This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 12:00 (two months ago) link
Was gonna post this on the Hello Nasty thread but seems better here: I recently was driving my 12 & 13y/o nephews and looking for something to play that they might like, noticed the Hello Nasty CD and thought "oh yeah, slam dunk, this will be right in the strike zone for two silly boys that age who are just starting to get interested in music". They both hated it so much, "WHAT is this CRAZY NOISE?", etc. I explained to them that the disc we were listening to was actually once belonged to their mother, purchased on the day it came out in 1998 and well loved for many years, and they straight up did not believe me. "Yeah right, nice try! Mom would NEVER listen to anything like this!" I am here in this thread to say that I felt, at that moment, like an ILXor in my forties.
― waste of compute (One Eye Open), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 15:40 (two months ago) link
cucumber and dill flavoured vinegar― This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length)
― This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length)
trans girl catnip
― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 17:34 (two months ago) link
so last night I offered to help a few of my closest friends move. their new place is on the third floor, a winding staircase (similar to one I lived at ten years ago).
idk if it's just that I'm older and more out of shape or what, but within an hour my knees were buckling from the constant carrying of things up that staircase. this morning, I'm having trouble standing up due to the knee pain.
biofreeze morning!
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 29 February 2024 14:57 (two months ago) link
fuck no thanks to that
knees, you got off lightly tbh its the back will kill you
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 February 2024 15:34 (two months ago) link
what was the "crazy noise" One Eye Open?
― your mom goes to limgrave (dog latin), Thursday, 29 February 2024 15:42 (two months ago) link
Tell them about the bit you had to 'rewind' the CD to hear on demand and why that was so amazing at the time, they will be so impressed and fascinated (ok they won't be)
― nashwan, Thursday, 29 February 2024 15:45 (two months ago) link
xp Just like the first minute or so of "Super Disco Breakin" - I honestly dont think they totally understood that it was even a song at first, and they were just incredulous that this crazy chaotic nonsense was music that people would listen to & enjoy. Its funny bc I wasn't trying to score cool points or "teach them about good music" or anything like that, just naively thinking "this will be an easy, unremarkable choice for everyone". They have a fairly limited media diet but they hear pop radio and are aware of & enjoy acts like Imagine Dragons, Lil Nas X, etc, but I didnt fully appreciate how they still seemed to have no frame of reference for something that sounds like that.
― waste of compute (One Eye Open), Thursday, 29 February 2024 17:30 (two months ago) link
fuck no thanks to thatknees, you got off lightly tbh its the back will kill you
― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Thursday, 29 February 2024 17:37 (two months ago) link
my back's not great and I have a degenerative disc in my neck. the latter is often unnoticeable until random times where I can only sit in one fixed position or feel the most repeated, uncomfortable twinges. but fortunately that's maybe once or twice a year for a few days each time
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 29 February 2024 17:48 (two months ago) link
Listening to "Super Disco Breakin'" now for probably the first time in 20 years. It's true that you don't hear this kind of sound in popular music anymore, really sounds very much of its time (in a good way).
― silverfish, Thursday, 29 February 2024 18:35 (two months ago) link
Also this album which seemed mostly unremarkable to me at the time sounds really good to me right now, about three tracks in.
― silverfish, Thursday, 29 February 2024 18:37 (two months ago) link
BODY MOVIN
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 29 February 2024 18:54 (two months ago) link
right knee is fine now. left one still unusually stiff. no actual pain, but all of the muscles extremely tight.
i have arthritis per last ortho clinic visit, so probably a combination of that and pushing muscles beyond what they're used to.
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 14:54 (two months ago) link
aka body movin
― bae (sic), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 17:51 (two months ago) link
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 17:52 (two months ago) link
i pushed furniture around all afternoon and tweaked a knee ligament or three at football an hour ago so i hear all of that
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 21:46 (two months ago) link
did the other guy get sent off
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 22:13 (two months ago) link
he fell backwards into me
at our age and level these mishaps are almost guaranteed to be bumbling rather than malice
big unit last week tried to turn too quick and locked himself. we had to load him sideways into the back seat like he was a set of drawers to get him home
it aint glamorous
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 22:54 (two months ago) link
Tfw you realize you’re wearing clothes like it’s 1995 and everyone around you looks like they’re going to or coming from the gym
― calstars, Wednesday, 13 March 2024 19:42 (two months ago) link
Didn't know that people wore PAJAMAS to the gym.
― pplains, Wednesday, 13 March 2024 19:50 (two months ago) link
I won't be at the doctor's until this weekend to confirm, but I think I've developed my first ulcer, likely due to prolonged ibuprofen use to treat jaw-clenching pain.
― blatherskite, Wednesday, 13 March 2024 21:16 (two months ago) link
In just the last couple of weeks my eyesight has become noticeably worse. I booked myself into the opticians and they rang and asked why I was seeing them before I was due. I told them and they sent me to the eye hospital. Luckily I'm fine but I do need glasses.
At the same time I can very suddenly and noticeably feel the skin around my neck feels looser and wrinklier in a way it hadn't before.
That's it guys, I'm officially middle aged!
― your mom goes to limgrave (dog latin), Wednesday, 13 March 2024 23:29 (two months ago) link
Identified my year of retirement: 2037
― calstars, Friday, 15 March 2024 20:47 (one month ago) link
not so bad!
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Friday, 15 March 2024 21:15 (one month ago) link
Jonah who will turn 62 in the year 2037
― calstars, Friday, 15 March 2024 21:40 (one month ago) link
It's coming up.
― pplains, Saturday, 16 March 2024 02:54 (one month ago) link
I have less than 9 months to go before I graduate from this thread and now I’m getting all the back and leg aches y’all have been talking about… I used to be able to sit cross-legged on the floor for hours without problems… oops
― sarahell, Friday, 29 March 2024 17:32 (one month ago) link
I lost complete hearing in my left ear six months ago. No biggie
― Comfortably numbnuts (Heez), Friday, 29 March 2024 19:17 (one month ago) link
eh?
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 29 March 2024 21:19 (one month ago) link
jk sry
Ha! I’m having surgery in a month. They think one of those tiny lil ear bones lost connection so they’re gonna put a prosthetic in. Should get a lot but not all of it back. It’s seriously disorienting not to have hearing in one ear. I cannot geolocate sounds for the life of me.
― Comfortably numbnuts (Heez), Friday, 29 March 2024 21:57 (one month ago) link
this happened to my husband about 10 years ago. never got the hearing back. he can't tell where any sound is coming from, it's pretty bad. plus tinnitus :(
― kinder, Friday, 29 March 2024 22:14 (one month ago) link
I don’t wear bifocals or glasses of any sort but I do now (in my forties) understand why older people who do will tilt their head down when they look at something across the room and up when reading something in small print
― calstars, Saturday, 13 April 2024 21:10 (one month ago) link
I've got a painful foot/big toe. I've done some reading about gout and spoken to my dad, who suffers periodically, so pretty sure it's not that. I think it's probably a pressure/RSI from all the walking I do? It's manageable but is just another one of those 'it's always there' aches that makes up my body map.
I'm also now the proud owner of a 'bunion sleeve', which sounds like a rejected name for a 'combine two nouns' death metal band.
― I would prefer not to. (Chinaski), Sunday, 14 April 2024 17:32 (one month ago) link
My left knee inflammation only really cleared up this week. Reaggravated it shortly after it got better when I went ziplining due to the upstairs climb. Can finally bend it again lol.
Now minor left hip twinges showed up but not painful, but enough to where I'm walking a LITTLE different
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Sunday, 14 April 2024 17:53 (one month ago) link
i bought a cute pair of Vans for fun after mostly wearing semi-orthopedic shoes for the past 5 years . i wore them to the movies, and i maybe walked half a block to and from my car. YET NOW I AM IN PAIN WTF i now have this stupid pain in my instep/arch and can barely walk and it’s like cool great fuck me ever buying “fun” shoes again i fucking hate being old
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 01:03 (two weeks ago) link
Gotta get into a stretching practice again, and make sure the chair I sit in for work had some lower back support. I’m paying the price for not doing these things tonight.
― Marten Broadcloak, mild-mannered GOP congressman (Raymond Cummings), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 01:11 (two weeks ago) link
― sarahell, Wednesday, 24 April 2024 01:42 (two weeks ago) link
I think they have a line of vans with better support now
― calstars, Wednesday, 24 April 2024 02:25 (two weeks ago) link
Wait til your Insoles start reeling like the devil’s breath
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 02:38 (two weeks ago) link
Oops reeking
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 02:39 (two weeks ago) link
these Vans were like v low profile maryjanes w glued-in insoles, i realized i would have had to semi-wreck them to wear insoles in them comfortably so i just returned them instead
― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 03:36 (two weeks ago) link
i tried to wear ballet flats once. _once_.
in the meantime i have all kinds of fun stretches for my feet to do. fun stretches for _everything_ haha
― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 14:12 (two weeks ago) link
when I think about my feet and feminine shoes, I really wish I had insisted on wearing men's shoes much earlier in life ... I have wide feet so I have to buy wide width shoes in women's anyway
― sarahell, Thursday, 25 April 2024 16:42 (two weeks ago) link
File under the Fear of becoming invisible dept: I ordered a slice at the pizzeria. Several minutes passed and server asked how he could help me
― calstars, Sunday, 28 April 2024 17:16 (two weeks ago) link
Lol thought it was only me shit that happened too.
Did you say "waiting on the five slices I ordered and paid for"?
― ain't nothin but a brie thing, baby (Neanderthal), Sunday, 28 April 2024 20:18 (two weeks ago) link
depends on how many other people are at the establishmentif 0, sure go ahead and take it personally if you mustif many, cut some slack? it's probably not about you.
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Sunday, 28 April 2024 20:31 (two weeks ago) link
Exactly… I had this experience in my 20s … it definitely isn’t middle age
― sarahell, Sunday, 28 April 2024 21:19 (two weeks ago) link
I had this experience once, in an airport Dunkin Donuts, when absolutely no one else was in line or being served. I gave it a minute, then left and just got coffee and OJ somewhere else.
― Marten Broadcloak, mild-mannered GOP congressman (Raymond Cummings), Sunday, 28 April 2024 21:50 (two weeks ago) link
(I’m 47 - this happened maybe two years ago)
This can reflect the invisibility of the single person - rather than the older person, ime.
― Dr Drudge (Bob Six), Sunday, 28 April 2024 21:58 (two weeks ago) link
A younger coworker started a coed recreational kickball team a few years ago, I was already in my forties and said to myself, I used to play lots of kickball when I was young, I’ll join and show these kids how it’s done. Well pretty early on in the season I kicked as hard as I could and pulled my quad so badly I thought I tore something. My leg swelled up and I could barely walk for weeks. I finally recovered in time for the playoffs, so of course I joined back up, and of course in my first at-bat I re-pulled my quad just as badly as the first time. I gave up on sports after that, I guess I’m too old. Nowadays I am getting ready to buy a pair of readers because I am sick of goggling blindly at fine print.
― epistantophus, Tuesday, 30 April 2024 01:58 (two weeks ago) link
Not to be a dick, but some pretty simple stretching can go a long way in that regard. I am 39– I stretch for 15 minutes every morning, and intend on doing so until I die
― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Tuesday, 30 April 2024 11:18 (two weeks ago) link
This can reflect the invisibility of the single person - rather than the older person, ime.― Dr Drudge (Bob Six)
― Dr Drudge (Bob Six)
there are _so many different kinds_ of invisibility haha
it's something i struggle a lot with. am i being treated worse than the other people around me? am i being ignored? if so, _why_?
the whole phenomenon of the "karen" - to me it's kind of one response to not being _acknowledged_. it's one of the things that makes "passing" so hard for me - the way women of a certain age tend to be treated. there are _very much_ gendered differences here, ime.
women, like... we gotta learn to not take being ignored personally, even if there are, you know... even if we are being ignored _because_ we're women in our '40s. cuz if we don't that's when we get called "karens".
― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 30 April 2024 13:30 (two weeks ago) link
The invisibility experience for me was more surreal than anything else, a “am I on Candid Camera?” feeling.
(I didn’t throw a fit or anything - just stood there for a minute or two accepting that this was happening, or not happening, before floating away to another business.)
― Marten Broadcloak, mild-mannered GOP congressman (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 30 April 2024 13:34 (two weeks ago) link
“Am I really alive? Am I a ghost?”
And while I haven’t worked in the service industry for many, many years, I get that these are repetitive, demanding jobs, and that the 6-7 people working at the combination DD/Baskin Robbins had been grinding since 5 am and were likely burnt to the point that I, a 6’4 black man, just might not have registered in the moment
― Marten Broadcloak, mild-mannered GOP congressman (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 30 April 2024 13:37 (two weeks ago) link
i had my ear surgery last week. it was a big deal and i assume there are lots of people out there who have the same issue, but live in a place where the diagnosis would not have happened and the surgeon wouldn't live in their town. kind of got mad at him because right when i woke up post surgery he tells me for the first time that i'm not allowed to blow my nose for 10 days. mfer, it's mid April and pollen is everywhere. i have literal scabs on my nose from blowing it so much. not sure if it's a 40s thing, but my allergies have gone from 0 to 100 in the last few years
― Heez, Tuesday, 30 April 2024 13:40 (two weeks ago) link
how's ya hearing?
― kinder, Tuesday, 30 April 2024 19:46 (two weeks ago) link
I hope your surgery went well, Heez. Rather frequently, my right ear gets completely clogged up and I also cannot pick out individual speakers or tell where sounds are coming from. It really struck me how having even just a marginally difficult time hearing can immediately feel isolating.
― fajita seas, Tuesday, 30 April 2024 20:46 (two weeks ago) link
Getting old is so f’in weird
― calstars, Saturday, 4 May 2024 00:51 (one week ago) link
Seconded.
― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 4 May 2024 04:51 (one week ago) link
Hope I don’t die soon!
― calstars, Saturday, 4 May 2024 04:52 (one week ago) link
Planning to live to 90 like my grandparents done did
― calstars, Saturday, 4 May 2024 04:53 (one week ago) link
Every time I get carded I’m like, “this is the last time I’m gonna get carded”
― calstars, Saturday, 4 May 2024 17:45 (one week ago) link
/romero
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Saturday, 4 May 2024 17:52 (one week ago) link
last got ID'd in Morrisons of all places when I was 40. I assume that will be the last time unless I go back to the USA at some point or somewhere else where they card OAPs
― Colonel Poo, Saturday, 4 May 2024 17:57 (one week ago) link
I get that they think I’m a narc…I guess
― calstars, Saturday, 4 May 2024 18:10 (one week ago) link
fell in the bathtub this morning. cut my chin open. i wouldn't call it a serious fall, but at my age i can't just brush off falls like i could when i was younger. scariest thing is that i live by myself. i mean i don't feel like i'm the age where i'd want a lifealert bracelet or something but yeah, if i seriously hurt myself by accident it'd be a while before anybody came to check. had a pretty bad fall last december... was on my way out to an event, it was icy, forgot something upstairs, went up the outside stairs too quickly and banged myself up. still went to the event, though, without even so much as cleaning myself up. i guess i can say i'm learning - i wouldn't do that today. i think the fall back in december was probably worse. hard to say. it's getting around. my balance has never been good. i had a fall in my garage back in '19 and my ankle stability has been really bad ever since.
anyway my QPP is gonna be over in a bit to check... in the meantime i'm just shook... got a towel in my mouth waiting for the bleeding to stop.
― Kate (rushomancy), Monday, 6 May 2024 14:51 (one week ago) link
I turned 40 last week. Woof. For some perspective, I started reading ILX as a teenager so not only am I old, we’re all old.
― Allen (etaeoe), Monday, 13 May 2024 19:45 (yesterday) link
I was 20 at the beginning and now 44, so I feel every year of that comment.
― Jeff, Monday, 13 May 2024 21:52 (yesterday) link