There Will Not Be Blood: What Menopause Means to You

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

Let's talk about the pause that refreshes!

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:07 (one week ago) link

I turn 50 in 3 weeks so will age out of this thread. I'm here to offer an alternative view on "women have it better in their 50s", because no one seems to be addressing menopause and how fucking awful it can be for a lot of women.

Its fucking awful. I've never been so fatigued/incapable/fogbrained/angry since I had mono in my 20s. Yay.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:00 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

But on a more positive note, my silver hair looks pretty neat!

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:00 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

xp That's horrible, and I'm so sorry to hear it! This is a huge topic I'm always up to discuss. I'm having minimal symptoms/side effects but I'm also only mid-way through. If there's enough interest, should we start a thread?

― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:06 PM (fifty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I'm in the early stages of "the change" -- and a number of my female friends my age are like, "is it covid or is it menopause?" in terms of trying to make sense of the symptoms ... i have had [show hidden text]

― sarahell, Monday, February 22, 2021 9:08 PM (fifty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Xpost - You should. I’m not there yet but it’s of interest to me and I have some resources I’ve been bookmarking for friends/fire that I can share. The biggest single predictor of age of menopause is your mom’s age when she went through it which means I’m looking at another 10 years. Joy.

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:10 PM (fifty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Perimenopause is a whole thing on its own S and from things I’ve read it can be the worst part for some people!

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:11 PM (fifty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah I dont want to crap up this thread with health woes haha. But yes, we prob can do so if we have enough of us lady-presenting types!

I remember my mother being constantly angry/weepy/weird/dropping things when she was in her late 40s (we get it early in my fam). So much I didnt know were symptoms. Dry eyes! Flu symptoms! Constant headaches!

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:11 PM (fifty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

my mom was about 50 when she started, but apparently if you are a regular/heavy smoker you are likely to start earlier ... so 46, for me, I guess.

― sarahell, Monday, February 22, 2021 9:12 PM (fifty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

xpost - yes E I've read the same, I guess thats whats happening. Lot of hormonal BS.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:12 PM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Perimenopause is a whole thing on its own S and from things I’ve read it can be the worst part for some people!

yeah that's where I'm at ... I am definitely having to pay more attention to those issues that when I was in my 20s/30s my biggest concern was accidentally forming babby

― sarahell, Monday, February 22, 2021 9:14 PM (forty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah I bet it is. :/ Def think it’s warrants a thread. Trayce do they call it “the menopause” in Australia? That’s what they call it here in England and it makes me cringe every time because it makes me think of “the curse” or “the change” lol.

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:14 PM (forty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

hahah I remember when I first heard the term "Aunt Flo" and immediately thought of the tv show Alice! and so at some point I associated grits, and the kissing thereof, with menstruation.

― sarahell, Monday, February 22, 2021 9:16 PM (forty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

At least in school they show you a little movie about periods. Nobody tells you anything about menopause! It’s only from reading a bunch of stuff in a Facebook group I’m in that I started realizing how little I knew about it and started reading more.

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:17 PM (forty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

my hippie aunt apparently said "the trick is eating root vegetables rich in vitamin E" ... but ... hippie aunt is not always otm

― sarahell, Monday, February 22, 2021 9:19 PM (forty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I won't be in my forties for another few years, but I'm already dreading menopause because birth control pretty much made me lose my mind and so I have this lurking fear that menopause will mean being whomped by mental illness.

― Lily Dale, Monday, February 22, 2021 9:25 PM (thirty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Trayce do they call it “the menopause” in Australia? That’s what they call it here in England and it makes me cringe every time because it makes me think of “the curse” or “the change” lol.

IKR? Yeah older ladies do seem call it that, it sounds anachronistic to me.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, February 22, 2021 9:41 PM (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:08 (one week ago) link

my friends are abuzz about perimenopause
i don't think i have any symptoms yet but i was a late menarcher

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:14 (one week ago) link

My mother was in her 30s when she started perimenopause, and was done by the time she turned 40. I started around 42 iirc? That was 2-3 years ago. I've had the hot flashes, the night sweats, the DRY AS FUCK eyes, the period that lasted for 2 weeks, and more. Also my body changed how it holds weight, which is not really what I was looking for in a "getting older and wiser" experience.

Now I have a period about every 6 months or so? Just long enough to re-set the clock and remind me that I'm still at the mercy of my hormones.

What do I have to look forward to? How are you doing? Normalize menopause.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:17 (one week ago) link

Same LL. I was 15 when I got my period. And because of some tv show I saw I was convinced I was secret balls but that’s another sorry.

Even though I don’t think I’m peri yet I find all of this really interesting and I want to be prepared for when I am! It’s crazy how little this is talked about. Thank you for making this thread IO.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:19 (one week ago) link

When I turned 43 my mom said oh you might start menopause because that’s when I did. Thanks for the heads up!!!

I really haven’t noticed anything different except my arms ache a lot a day or two before.

Notes on Scampo (tokyo rosemary), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:21 (one week ago) link

i was 9 when i first got my period (though it was really just one day before my 10th birthday ... pretty sure this anecdote is on the no boys thread somewhere).

just finishing a period that came early -- and was fairly normal -- but I did have the two months without a period in the fall, followed by the period that lasted 12 days. Over the summer, I had a backyard hang with a friend and his wife -- they're in their mid-50s and live in the suburbs. I mentioned that I needed to go Walgreens and get tampons, and A. (the wife) was like, "you need tampons? I have a large bag of them that I don't need anymore. Do you want them? Please take them? Do they have a shelf life? I think they should still be good." ...Anyway, on day 8 of the 12 day period, I was so immensely grateful for A's tampon stash.

sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:24 (one week ago) link

I only know mine was 50 when she started because I asked!

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:24 (one week ago) link

i asked my mom a couple months back about it -- and she was like, "I don't remember. It was so long ago." ... so I guess, if I make it to 75 like my mom, my menopause experience might be as untraumatic as hers, considering otherwise her memory is quite good.

sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:26 (one week ago) link

yeah my mom hasn't brought it up at all. i think she forgets i have a body

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:27 (one week ago) link

my mom generally only thinks of bodies in terms of food and pregnant y or n?

sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:32 (one week ago) link

*raises hand*

(That's strange. I was just discussing menopause with a bunch of British sixtysomethings on FB.)

My period has been stopping and starting for about seven months now. This is the first full (but light) period I've had in three months--the last few ones were just a little bit of dried blood. I think I've been having hot flashes--I get hot a few times an hour, but it's not all that uncomfortable, and it doesn't make me sweat.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:36 (one week ago) link

Oh hi. I think I probably started up the perimenopause train in my late 30s, early 40s (no wonder getting pregnant was such a challenge). I breast fed for 16 months, maybe, and that kept my period at bay. I remember the first one I had when it returned was a nice, short manageable cycle and I was like "NICE having a baby fixed everything." HA HA NO. After that, it was blood, everywhere blood, ten day periods every two weeks, can't leave the house, have to sit on a towel, two of those Always super overnight pads back to back when I slept so I basically had a pad that extended from my belly button to the top of my butt crack. Then hot flashes and night sweats and my favorite, major depressive symptoms/suicidal ideation the week before my period started! Which was happening every two weeks!

Anyway, I have a great OB/GYN and she was like, "This is not a normal way to feel. We can do something about this." Cue massive emotional breakdown in the exam room. But I take Lo Loestrin birth control pills (with no breaks - fuck you period!), and a big old dose of Zoloft and that makes it relatively manageable.

My mom started menopause at around 40 and was done with it by 50, so fingers crossed I only have two more years of this bullshit.

carl agatha, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:36 (one week ago) link

I have temporarily put this off by getting pregnant, but I should find out when my mom had it...

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:36 (one week ago) link

those extended periods, guys, I’m so sorry. that is some bullshit.

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:37 (one week ago) link

Pregnant, you say?

carl agatha, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:38 (one week ago) link

wait, it lasts TEN YEARS? i'm not kidding i thought it was like 6 months. i'm not gonna think about it anymore.
xp congrats?!

superdeep borehole (harbl), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:39 (one week ago) link

I've never used hormonal birth control, and I don't know if that will change my experience or not.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:39 (one week ago) link

Oh, and congratulations.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:39 (one week ago) link

haha thanks guys. yes, I am knocked up, but don’t let that distract from the topic at hand.

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:40 (one week ago) link

PMDD is the absolute total WORST
I can't wait to get rid of it. Hormonal bc helps a little bit, only enough to allow me to not detonate every 3 weeks

congrats horseshoe!

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:40 (one week ago) link

(thanks, LL!)

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:41 (one week ago) link

Yay, baby horseshoe! Congratulations!

Notes on Scampo (tokyo rosemary), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:41 (one week ago) link

Yay, baby horseshoe! Congratulations!

Notes on Scampo (tokyo rosemary), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:41 (one week ago) link

Yay, baby horseshoe! Congratulations!

Notes on Scampo (tokyo rosemary), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:41 (one week ago) link

I am obviously excited about this news.

Notes on Scampo (tokyo rosemary), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:42 (one week ago) link

horseshoe that is so exciting! How are you feeling?

carl agatha, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:42 (one week ago) link

Thank you! To keep on topic, it took a few years of fertility treatments, and I did wonder vaguely if I was racing menopause toward the end.

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:42 (one week ago) link

Horseshoe I totally saw that on fb and flipped the fuck out inside because I was so happy for you but then I wasn’t sure if I should say anything but omgiamsohappyforyou!

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:43 (one week ago) link

Thanks for running with this in orbit - love the title <3

So yeah, dry eyes is the one I never knew, dear god it is irritating esp because I already have frequently blurry vision anyway from not getting used to my multifocal glasses.

My last period was *thinks*.. maybe August last year? So yeah I'm well on the way at this point, as far as I can tell.

Am seriously considering HRT. It isnt dangerous anymore, right?

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:43 (one week ago) link

Carl, hi! I feel really good tbh; second trimester has been chill! I hope you and Ivy and Jeff are doing well!

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:43 (one week ago) link

fertility treatment high five. Ivy is the product of the best reproductive technology (our) money could buy. We are good! I'm so happy about baby horseshoe.

carl agatha, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:44 (one week ago) link

Oh and congrats horseshoe! Gah Im working cant keep up

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:44 (one week ago) link

And yeah I haven’t ruled out having a kid. I had my AMA tested two years ago because I was curious and my egg reserve was very good but I know at this point it is depleting every day. But that’s another good example - I didn’t even know that was just a test you can ask for!

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:44 (one week ago) link

Wait AMH

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:45 (one week ago) link

(thanks, E!) I have been weird about announcing bc it was so hard to get pregnant and I was scared of stuff going wrong, and also because being publicly pregnant is so fraught, and because I know people who want to get pregnant can’t always and it’s just annoying being a woman fin.

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:45 (one week ago) link

Luckily I never wanted kids, though my partner keeps jokingly demanding "GIVE ME A BABY GIRL" (he has 2 teen boys, he is joking)

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:46 (one week ago) link

But it is happy news and fertility treatment high five back at you, carl

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:47 (one week ago) link

It’s wonderful. The world needs more moms like you tbh. That’s a lucky kiddo right there. :)

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:48 (one week ago) link

re: the birth control pills and the PMDD, last hear at around the time of the Cavanaugh confirmation hearings (aka that week when everything was a trauma trigger), my GP took me off the birth control because of blood pressure concerns and my whole mental health state spiraled. I probably only got more or less back to baseline last August maybe? I do feel much more stable now, but I will not be coming off the pill to see if I'm done with this process any time soon.

carl agatha, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:49 (one week ago) link

year not hear

carl agatha, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:50 (one week ago) link

Aw, thanks!

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:51 (one week ago) link

But back to the thread topic - one of my colleagues was out a lot last year because of really bad menopause symptoms and the management was not happy. That’s actually one of the things that made me interested in it - she was suffering so badly and I was like oh wait? Can it be that rough? And it looks like it can and it should absolutely be talked about more often.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:51 (one week ago) link

That was an xpost to E; I’m so sorry that PMDD was such a bear, Carl, but I’m glad the pill is working!

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:52 (one week ago) link

ugh it sucks so much when women’s health things affect attendance at work bc the workplace sucks about it, as it does about so many things

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:53 (one week ago) link

Here’s another symptom I didn’t know was a thing - itching! My boss was itching like crazy last year. She is 47 so went to the doc and the itching was hormonal! She’s perimenopausal but she thought she was too young and was shocked.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:53 (one week ago) link

sadly the kavanaugh shit was fall 2018! i completely lost it around then too and went back on the HBC shortly afterward. i don't plan to ever stop taking it bc the PMDD is still there it's just not as bad. i am actually quite worried about what menopause will do to my emotional state.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:53 (one week ago) link

She went out after work with girlfriends for a drink and mentioned that her dry skin was driving her nuts and they were all like oh uh . . .

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:54 (one week ago) link

xp esp as i am trying to rebuild life after losing my longtime job that i felt very strongly about
i guess we'll see!

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:54 (one week ago) link

i do have a weird itch on my head that won't go away!!!

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:55 (one week ago) link

I don't know how long I was in the peri part, maybe 6 years? I would get horribly painful skin eruptions in the weirdest places a day or two before flow would start (tentative diagnosis: testosterone influx) and it was (oddly for me) copious. I switched to cloth pads and period underwear to see if I was reacting to something in tampons and commercial pads, which helped some. But then things went off the rails and those outbreaks got more frequent. Nothing helped prevent them. Mystified doctor. Hair started thinning dramatically (this freaked me out more than anything else for some reason). Hot flashes and dramatic blushing at nothing, always worse when I drank. Husband is diabetic and wanted to try a Whole30 and paleo eating, so we did that. And the hot flashes stopped and no outbreaks for multiple months.

No idea if it was no more alcohol or what but the relief was worth just sticking with it. A year later I had a knee injury and at the doctor for that she asked when my last period had been...and had been 6 months. She wrote down post-menopausal. I was 53 then and that was that. No more periods.

7 years later and now I have my first IUD because last April I had some odd discharge that turned out to be pre-pre-endometrial cancer and a little direct progesterone can keep that at bay. I had to use estrogen cream for a few weeks prior to insertion and felt like absolute crap from it but all's good now. I like the basic even-keel-ness of postmenopausal existence after so many years of mood swings.

Jaq, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:41 (one week ago) link

Congratulations horseshoe!!!

Jaq, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:42 (one week ago) link

I mean that’s why I still feel weird when people say they’re trying. I know I shouldn’t but there will always be a part of me that’s like hee hee you’re doing it!

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 22 February 2021 23:42 (one week ago) link

thanks, Jaq!

i resent menopause in advance for trying to take booze away from me!

horseshoe, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:48 (one week ago) link

It can take booze out of my hot, flushed, sweaty fingers. Fuck that.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 23:51 (one week ago) link

Haha thats my eternal struggle. Ive cut back a lot on drinking, but yeah.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2021 23:54 (one week ago) link

Now that recreational weed is legal, I don't miss it (much). But yeah.

Jaq, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:56 (one week ago) link

It's not taking my nightly glass or two of wine, that's for sure.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:57 (one week ago) link

My mother sailed smoothly through menopause. Hopefully, I will too.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:58 (one week ago) link

Here’s another symptom I didn’t know was a thing - itching! My boss was itching like crazy last year

I did not know this was a thing until now ... i had awkward itching/rashes this past summer/fall (which, I guess I am grateful to covid because no one could see me scratch/avoid it ... I am now a natural fibers snob when it comes to bedding and sleepwear (mostly) ... I have been 100% cotton only in re underwear for several years because prior to that I would have a WAP of the monistat required variety

sarahell, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:01 (one week ago) link

omg congrats horseshoe!!

kinder, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:03 (one week ago) link

Sarahel - yeah I had no idea but I’ve seen it mentioned since this came up with her. Apparently it’s a real thing!

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:06 (one week ago) link

See I know my mom took HRT and that it helped but she also got post menopausal breast cancer which I think had a link to HRT? This is what I need to research.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:08 (one week ago) link

A paternal aunt was the only immediate family member of mine to go through non-surgical menopause - my mom and her 3 sisters all had hysterectomies while in their late 30s. She was thankfully easy to talk to about it. I've tried to be open with my daughter so hopefully it won't all be a surprise.

Jaq, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:08 (one week ago) link

I wouldnt know if I had meno related itching, I have such bad eczema... which hang on, started flaring up about 18 months ago. hm.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:08 (one week ago) link

Sarahell's ref to monistat reminded me - the thinning hair for me turned out to be related to seborrheic dermatitis caused by an overgrowth of some scalp-loving yeast. This resolved by using shampoo containing ketoconazole, which is similar to another azole found in monistat etc. And in addition to killing yeasts, azoles also make hair grow.

Jaq, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:20 (one week ago) link

I guess I've been peri for a couple of years now and...is there any diagnosable or physical marker of when you're "done"? Aiui medically you're considered "menopausal" when you simply haven't had a period for a year, which seems like quite a backward way to ascertain what's happening inside our bodies??

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:31 (one week ago) link

actually according to my medical provider -- yes, it is pretty much backwards in just that way

sarahell, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:32 (one week ago) link

Yeah same. Maybe an egg count? My last was during an internal ultrasound and I was told I had "2 left, but some might be hiding" (!? I assume he just meant the scan cant always see everything)

Dont know if that is a medically viable approach though.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 00:36 (one week ago) link

Enbb inspired me to ask my mum some questions - she was around 50 and it was uneventful, just much heavier bleeding. The dr wanted to get her a mirena iud to help with that but then it stopped before the appointment was arranged. This has turned out to be very helpful info bc I was considering getting a tubal ligation after my iud is due to come out at the end of this year but now I think I’ll just get another one put in.

Congrats horseshoe!

just1n3, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:20 (one week ago) link

No one has ever offered or tried to measure my remaining eggs. I mean I never asked either but it would be cool to know?

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:21 (one week ago) link

I feel like maybe the last one deserves a going-away party? That is what I would do if I had that information.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:22 (one week ago) link

thanks kinder and just1n3!

I find the idea of a last egg going away party delightful!

horseshoe, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:24 (one week ago) link

Is the egg count an invasive test? I’d be curious to know mine too, just for the sake of it

just1n3, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:26 (one week ago) link

omg last egg bon voyage party!! ... now I'm thinking about the thematic menu for said party ...

sarahell, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:33 (one week ago) link

this is a great idea, it's like the antithesis of gender reveals

Überschadenfreude (sleeve), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:37 (one week ago) link

Husband is diabetic and wanted to try a Whole30 and paleo eating, so we did that. And the hot flashes stopped and no outbreaks for multiple months.

Oh I also wanted to say, in relation to Jaq's post, that my hot flashes also seemed stress-affected. I was having them way more while I was working but since I got out of that job they're negligible & infrequent. More likely to be me throwing off the duvet if it gets too warm than "need to stand literally in a freezer to compensate."

xp haha I know! I was just pondering how many eggs it would be healthy to consume on one occasion.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:41 (one week ago) link

Le ultimate oeuf at least deserves a fruit basket for making it to the last train out of town.

And deviled eggs. There should definitely be deviled eggs.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:47 (one week ago) link

omg yes!

sarahell, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 01:54 (one week ago) link

That reminds me: I need to make a gynecologist appointment. My sister just had a hysterectomy for fibroids and I'm almost envious of her. I had endometrial ablation a couple years ago to cope with fibroids and really heavy flows, but my endometrium grew back like a weed. Our mother didn't complete menopause until 58; I could be in for several more years of this.

Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:07 (one week ago) link

The one i had (and I didnt know they'd count them either! it was a more general gyno checkup) was an internal US and those are... quite invasive and unpleasant. Not painful, but embarrasing for sure.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:07 (one week ago) link

Eh I have to get that type of ultrasound when I get an iud put in anyway. Maybe I’ll ask about it then.

just1n3, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 05:48 (one week ago) link

Justine - there are non-invasive ways to test egg reserve. The levels of AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) indicate the size of your egg reserve. It measures quantity not quality but it can be added to any blood panels and is a good thing to know imo. I want to get it done again soon.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/rmanetwork.com/blog/anti-mullerian-hormone-amh-testing-of-ovarian-reserve/amp/

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 21:14 (one week ago) link

Thanks E! I’m def on the no-kids side of the fence now and have been for a couple years so quality isn’t an issue now.

just1n3, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:30 (one week ago) link

Now that recreational weed is legal, I don't miss it (much). But yeah.

― Jaq, Monday, February 22, 2021 11:56 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

OTM. I just... stopped drinking when lockdown started (but to be fair, it was in the works for a bit because hangovers became untenable (depression/anxiety hangovers - wtf)) but I have definitely appreciated legal weed. Ivy asked me this morning about "the medicine" we keep in the orange (Sunnyside Dispensary) bag on top of the cabinet. Unfortunately she won't take, "It's 8 am and I'm not ready for this conversation" as an answer.

Anyway, as I'm reading/thinking I've realized that my hot flashes have decreased which could be as a result of not drinking or stress reduction (different job, better meds, better president) or maybe I'm heading towards the end of it.

I did try to get a Mirena IUD for period control when my period came back with such a vengeance but I literally bled for 10 weeks straight and then the fucking thing just fell out.

carl agatha, Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:12 (six days ago) link

omg how terrible (re IUD)!

also, how old is Ivy now?

horseshoe, Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:17 (six days ago) link

Le ultimate oeuf at least deserves a fruit basket for making it to the last train out of town.

It is kind of weird that it's such a huge event in your life and you can only really see it in the rearview mirror.

trishyb, Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:41 (six days ago) link

I successfully had an IUD for years before it was babby time! So that was a terrible surprise.

Ivy is 7 years old, but has the sass levels of a teen.

carl agatha, Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:50 (six days ago) link

ie Jeff accidentally turned off all the lights via an Alexa mishap, and Ivy yelled "What the FUCK just happened?" Cue conversation about curse words and how to navigate a world that is not ready to hear a seven year old drop F bombs, and the importance of never saying "fuck" at school or in front of her grandparents. About a week later, I pissed her off because I told her to brush her teeth (smdh) and she held steady eye contact with me and said, "F." And I said, "What was that again?" And she said, more emphatically, "F."

carl agatha, Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:53 (six days ago) link

At which point I just said, "You know what, fair enough. Now go brush your teeth."

carl agatha, Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:53 (six days ago) link

I sometimes wonder if I should have had a kid or two. Maybe I would have actually ended up as a functioning adult if I did. Oh, well. I don't think it would have really mattered in the long run.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 25 February 2021 18:04 (six days ago) link

It is kind of weird that it's such a huge event in your life and you can only really see it in the rearview mirror.

― trishyb, Thursday, February 25, 2021 5:41 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is really striking a chord with me. We're supposed to anticipate menstruation, anticipate pregnancy (with a huge industry built up around preparation and publicity) and then menopause is kind of the hidden, shameful transition? I mean I trust that I and my fellow gleeful crones itt and irl reject this framing but the big blank spot on the map is definitely there.

* I guess it only merits attention if someone can sell us HRT or something to mimic youth & fertility for as long as possible.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Thursday, 25 February 2021 18:51 (six days ago) link

haha yeah ... as much as we like to trash baby boomers, I am definitely appreciative of the women of that generation pushing for (even just on a consumer level) options and technological and scientific improvements for dealing with menopause in an empowering way.

sarahell, Thursday, 25 February 2021 20:18 (six days ago) link

Omg Ivy <3 I can’t believe she’s 7 she sounds awesome!

horseshoe, Thursday, 25 February 2021 21:14 (six days ago) link

F story made me giggle :D

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 25 February 2021 22:54 (six days ago) link

Dry eyes huh? That would explain so much.

Kim, Friday, 26 February 2021 02:42 (five days ago) link

Yes I'm glad others are sayig they have it, I was going insane.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 26 February 2021 03:48 (five days ago) link

I am 48 and I started having perimenopausal symptoms maybe two years ago, but I didn't realize that's what it was. I thought I was just incredibly depressed and also not able to sleep anymore. I addressed these problems through mental health meds, but at some point I realized perimenopause could be contributing. I didn't get my period for about a year and then the past few months it has returned again. Things calmed down for awhile but then I noticed a few months ago that my hair was falling out. I wasn't sure if it was covid stress or menopause. My joints also hurt and they crack all the time. I am also incredibly out of it now. My brain is like full of air. I'm not sure if this is menopause or a side effect of medication. I went on reddit one day and learned things that I probably shouldn't have. Every possible symptom is covered there. Doctors insist I am not in menopause because I haven't gone one full year without a period. I don't think I have hot flashes but I run much warmer than I used to. Everyone at work will be freezing and I will be so comfortable. The hard thing for me is always wondering if what I am experiencing is perimenopausal related or just some other fucked up health thing. I think we're lucky though that there is so much more information out there now and it's not really taboo anymore. I don't know how women went through this on their own. Solidarity!

Virginia Plain, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:42 (four days ago) link

Doctors insist I am not in menopause because I haven't gone one full year without a period

I hope they are helping you, though, and not shrugging off your symptoms.

I was very lucky, in a way, because my perimenopause presented itself quite clearly as a painful, month-long period. When i went to my GP for my regular blood tests, I told her about it. She just threw in the blood test for perimenopause and confirmed that's what it was. I only had a couple of years of it before it was all over.

The scary thing about menopause symptoms is that so many of them can be symptoms of something so much worse, and they happen during the night when you can't really call anyone. Nothing more fun than standing in your kitchen at 3am with a racing heart and sweat pouring off every bit of you, with your mind going "is this cancer? Am I dying?" while everyone else in the house is asleep.

trishyb, Saturday, 27 February 2021 10:33 (four days ago) link

That sort of happened to me one night about six months ago when I woke up at 3am with an intense stabbing pain in what felt like my upper abdomen and back. I assumed and hoped it was just bad gas and just endured it alone for about 30 or 40 mins, alone in the family bathroom - to not inconvenience or wake anyone else of course. But deep down I was a little scared. Like, was it my heart? It subsided after a while and later I did follow up with a doctor. Still have some more tests to do, but now seems most likely it was actually a gall bladder attack. wtfffff

Kim, Monday, 1 March 2021 17:31 (two days ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.