Phrases you hate...

"slippery slope…"
"as it were…"
"if you will…"

"let's touch base"
"I hear what you say"

---

PS - Check out Bullshit Bingo.

- "Know what I'm sayin'?" -- Tell ya what, if I don't know what you're saying I'LL FUCKING ASK! Until then, let's just assume that I do.

- "Taking things to a whole `nother level" - Why must life now be reduced to a giant game of "Donkey Kong"?

- Just triple-checking (never seems to check or double-check, though)

- Would you mind— and if you do, that's totally fine, just tell me, it's 100% perfect if you don't want to— but, could you possibly...

Going back to the very first one, my boss's boss is also inclined to talk about 'ticks in boxes'. I have tried to use "putting ticks outside of boxes" as if it represents a highly desirable combination of creativity and getting the job done, but no one is really buying it at the moment, presumably because they know me.

these two always come up in "phrases you hate" discussions. what's wrong with them?

pretty much

This one isn't a phrase but it confuses me:
"Excuse me" being used by people walking in your general direction who aren't going to crash into you & you're really not posing any kind of obstacle to them going on their merry way, which leads me to assume it's an attention-getting device, as in "Hi I'm walking past you now, saw you weren't really noticing me, don't freak out at my proximity to you". Very weird, uniquely American convention that I haven't quite grasped yet.

Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...
Things you're sick of hearing: Single words, cliches, and tired phrases. Don't read if you hate pedantry.
Commonly used phrases that inexplicably bug you
Most irritating cliche/phrase/expression
Four Words: Use Other Words Please
"Taking Things to a Whole `Nother Level!"
Use other phrases please
Banal phrases that pepper everyday office conversation - report them here

alba, youre everyones fact checkin' cuz

Repeating the past isn't necessarily bad... especially if there is no past for a newcomer.
Is this a semi-private board of stuffy folks bent on wanking off only in the company of fellow stuffy board members or what?

Yes. Precisely! For example, if you were burning to discuss bicameral vs. unicameral legislative bodies, there is already a thread for doing exactly that. Why start any more?

The slowness of full-text searches isn't anything to do with your internet connection speed, btw.

2. The best thing to do when a string is redundant is to jump right in and announce the fact you have identified it as redundant instead of ignoring it, right?

3. After a three hour recovery period I am perfectly sober again.

4. Boo!

This sends me into fucking orbit for some reason.

"He's burning both ends of the same candle"— I don't know what I hate about it, I just do.

"They're just talking" as a euphemism for two people not in a relationship fooling around up to but not including sex. I actually preferred "being with each other," back when that was the thing to say.

Also, in a previous phrases-you-hate thread I mentioned hating "Can I get..." when asking for something. The only time it should be used is by a Southern Baptist preacher asking for an Amen.

"Here goes nothing"— What does it mean?

Clue: Coincidentally, the phrase means exactly the same as one of its component words.

I actually hadn't heard or read that one since about ten minutes after watching an ep of 'Rowan & Martin's Laugh In' for the last time, some time around 1969. 'R&M'sL-I' was a classic show, and a ground-breaker, but it has spawned a ream of catch-phrases for subsequent flogging to death, even more than Monty Python. Fortunately, 'Here goes nothing' ran out of legs faster than most of them.

Sheesh, some of you people... I love it how when Theresa asked if it had already been done, someone said yes and then A GAZILLION PEOPLE reiterate this fact. WE KNOW, now either ignore the thread (and by not posting make it drop lower on the list) or contribute something instead of "le sigh been thee done that, i'm a reg and you're a noob or idiot who can't search."

Anyway, I hate it when people say: I'm 110 procent sure. Dude, either your completely sure or less, but not more than completely.

As mentioned upthread, "base touching" is the WORST.

Big thumbs down on "pro-active".
Hate hate hate it.

What does he "bring to the table"?
Hate that one too.

All mindless utterances from mindless mid-level managers can go, too.

verbs/verb phrases!! touches on, informed by - esp. when I resort to using them!!!

My boss says "decant" when he means "put out the Japanese porn we just got". I know he tries, but you just can't make that classy

!!!Donna please tell me that was not a typo.

I wish I could stop myself from saying "I hear ya" whenever I'm trying hard not to convey that I either really don't give a shit about what the person is saying or just feel uncomfortable.

As much as I hate that I do it, I admit I use "it's all good" sometimes. But know that when I do, behind my eyes the real me is screaming "NO IT ISN'T, IT IS ALL GOING HORRIBLY WRONG AND I AM TOO PASSIVE TO KICK UP A FUSS SO I WILL JUST BE NICE AND A DOORMAT K"

Ugh.

ooh, I hate 'it's all good'. (It's not you, Trayce, it's me)
No, my boss totally says "I need you to decant H*usewives at Pl*y:King Sized Special". Awesome

:o

I want your job!

never a good time whenever i hear "you have the right to remain silent. if you give up that right, anything you say may be used against you in a court..."

never good.

T, you say that now :)

http://green.msn.com/Articles/article.aspx?aid=650>1=45002

The 10 Eco-Worst Fish

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,500 for "eco-worst". (0.30 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 271 for "eco-worst" -fish. (0.33 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 43 for "eco-worst" -fish -seafood. (0.14 seconds)

i hate when people refer to a group of women as "ladies". particularly when i'm part of that group.

tho i guess that's not really a phrase ?

that's like a nutty zing wrapped in gentleman chocolate

I still wonder wtf it was/is Donna did to have a boss gettin' out the japanese porn as part of the day's routine. Sex shop or something?

Yeah, there's a bit of mystery around that isn't there?

Diarrhea of the mouth

gross, just gross

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

"Does what it says on the tin", when some british dude thinks the subject line of his forum post is sufficient and that he doesn't have to put anything in the body. Obviously no one does this on ILX, but it's surprisingly common on other random forums (like those related to fixing computer problems). It sets my teeth on edge!

"Don't pour your beer down the drain - that's alcohol abuse!"
"Oops, I spilled my beer - guess I've got a drinking problem."

Fuck you seriously.

I hate the Brit slang 'mentalist' and 'mentalism'. People always say it with one of those look-I'm-being-funny smirks on their faces too, which really makes you want to punch them.

"don't hate the player,hate the game"

can't stand this stupid shit

Its basically "love the sinner, not the sin" dressed up for guidos.

'it's all good'

'no worries'

"wow. just...wow."

wow. just...wow.

"b-b-b-but" which seems to be really popular on ilx :(

b-b-b-but

;_;

when an acquaintance leaves a note for you on facebook or email after not having been in contact for a long period of time, and ends with "hope all is well" or "hope you are well"

yeah those well-wishers are such assholes

ehh it's always like "hey [I want/need you to do something]. hope you are well."

for zvookster:

B-b-but jungle is music!

― Tuomas, Monday, July 13, 2009 6:45 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sorry, we dont allow "b-b-b"

― gucci gone bonkers (roxymuzak), Monday, July 13, 2009 6:46 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

User has been successfully banned for 9 days

― gucci gone bonkers (roxymuzak), Monday, July 13, 2009 6:46 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark

relol

Hahaaa

But ohhhh yeah yr right, dyao, that is different - annoying, insincere

i love roxy's duchess streak.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51tt7QEpC-L._SS400_.jpg

This Altern 8 guy was otm back in the 05

Just a couple of words...

"Yup" makes me think of every dork in high school I didn't want to hang out with. Same people who say "b-b-b-but..."

"Well..." pronounced "wool" subtracts two levels of social class straight away.

Yeah, I was saying "yup" for a while as a replacement for "your welcome."

"Thank you."
"Yup."

Realized for myself that it was a really annoying habit.

"Well..." pronounced "wool" subtracts two levels of social class straight away.

This, on the other hand: fuck off and don't come back to Baltimore.

pretty much any phrase involving the word fart, especially when used by my annoying coworker.

"i had a brain fart"

or

"we were just fiddle-fartin' around"

makes me cringe every time.

I'll stand w you on that, for some reason I really hate the word "fart" and people's willingness to use it for things totally un-gas-related.

'tickety boo'

people who overuse 'veritable' and 'veritably'

People used to write "in future", nomany, marketing types usually, write...

"Going forward"

No, fuck off, of course its going forward you fool, which other way could it possibly be going?

nomany = now many (Duh! how did that happen?)

forwards, not backwards, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling...!

"Well..." pronounced "wool" subtracts two levels of social class straight away.

― Josefa, Friday, March 5, 2010 11:08 AM (2 weeks ago)

fu

i don't think i pronounce it that way but still...what?

"I love FREEDOM" Doesn't being vague make you feel all proud?

ok i just realized i might actually say "wool" irl

"wow. just...wow."

See also "What? I dont even" and "Can I just" and so on.

Not that I mind any of em, they just seem to have asploded like warts online lately.

"Thanks in advance for...." because every motherfucking time I see those words in an email, it usually always precedes something I absolutely either don't want to do, said I wouldn't have time to do, and often never agreed to do, and likely got ratfucked into doing.

also: "If you <insert activity> then the terrorists win". It's old and it wasn't all that funny to begin with.

"I just threw up in my mouth a little" - it's what 15 year olds say when they want to be funny but don't have the creativity to be....

the overuse of 'basically'

I do that when I lost my train of thought.....

I did throw up in my mouth a little bit this morning. I busted into the mens' room and spit it out into the urinal, because the sink would be wrong, and some guy was just coming out of the stall.

I felt better afterward and ate some tangerines.

haha @ estela upthread. roxy is cool as fuck obv.

"Threw up in my mouth a little bit" was on spongebob last night. I sure hope it doesn't catch on with my kid.

same with "I laughed so hard a little bit of wee came out", people should never ever say this again, yes I'm looking at you Davina McCall and Claudia Winkelman.

Both the mouth throwing up, and the wee making laughter lines *might* have me laugh the first time I heard them, but that was at least FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. Per Cattle Grind, you might want to up the ante and think of a new way to share these universal emotions...

"full of win"

"full of fail"

"____ fail"

fuck you seriously

I'm starting to get fed up with "jumped the shark", especially when it's just a synonym for "isn't quite as good as it used to be" or "is exactly as good as it used to be, I'm just bored of it".

"Yup" makes me think of every dork in high school I didn't want to hang out with.

Aisha Tyler's character on the animated show "Archer" uses this and it is hilarious.

"My bad" <--------- where and when and how did this happen?

this has been around for a while - presumably just netspeak that's crept into everyday speech.

it's from america dog latin

People used to write "in future", nomany, marketing types usually, write...

"Going forward"

No, fuck off, of course its going forward you fool, which other way could it possibly be going?

― Phil Will, Monday, March 22, 2010 9:24 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

morelike 'moving forward'

co-workers will call u out on 'moving forward'

"My bad" goes back to at least 1992. One of those things I made fun of people enough for saying and it wormed its way into my vocabulary.

"that's what she said."

hate, hate, HATE THIS!

that's what she said

"My bad" <--------- where and when and how did this happen?

― Is that your Ayrshire bacon? (Tom D.), 20 April 2010 10:27 (16 minutes ago)

Pretty sure I heard this on the Fresh Prince in the early 90's.

Los Angeles Times

June 21, 1992, Sunday, Home Edition

Some slang slung on L.A.'s outdoor basketball courts:
deny or reject v. To block the ball.

drain v. To make a shot without hitting the rim.

"I drained those free throws."
ice adj. Cool under pressure.

glass n. Backboard. "I was right under the glass; you should have sent it to me."

good bust n. Nice shot.

money adj. The player you go to when you need a basket. "Jake's fast, but Eddie's the money."

"my dad" or "my bust"n. Exclamation after making a bad shot.

"we got numbers"Exclamation by the team with the most players downcourt on a fast break.

rip v. To steal the ball. "He ripped it; I didn't even see him."

rock n. The ball.

send, dish or feed v. To pass. "Don't hold the rock, man, dish it. Dish it."

swing it v. To pass the ball around.

take v. To drive the ball for a layup

wearing pink glasses n. Unable to stop an opponent from scoring. "We should've had 'em, but we were wearing the pink glasses."

Windex n. One who plays well under the glass.

dad fetch it

lately lots of people have been writing "nom" as in "yummy" as in cookie monster as in "enchiladas? NOM!" mostly on facebook. And I can't fucking stand it.

if it's on facebook, it's cool, didn't you know?

Thread of

http://www.intuitive.com/blog/images/king-canute-commands-the-sea.jpg

serious LOLS at bewilderment @ "my bad". Don't worry brits, I just learned "taking the mickey" the other day.

Does that have something to do with Mickey Finn?

something about getting a belly button ring, iirc.

"everything happens for a reason". I've seen this dropped no less than 25 times in the last few months, usually after a tragedy.

You know what ? I don't fucking believe everything happens for a reason. If someone close to me dies, I don't want to hear how it was God's master plan and how it's going to even out in the end because it isn't. Life is random*, which is why the bullshit that happens to people is not evenly distributed.

*with the caveat that people do have control over many things that happen to them, just not all.

"i'm just throwing it out there"

"i'm not going to lie..."

guy in work says this constantly and i've started copying him :(

"there are other fishies in the sea". I'm not really interested in having sex with aquatic life

http://simpsonleblog.s.i.pic.centerblog.net/9swzumo4.jpg

"kindle app"

"Lovely little boozer"

"a cheeky pint"

"It is easier to ask forgiveness than get permission."

"cheeky" anything is satanic

I don't know, I think of this LJ sentence nearly every time I take a photo: "Moreover, how could I resist one of my peers requesting me to uncork my blingiest pose for a cheeky snap or two?"

^^a phrase I don't hate fwiw

I associate it with laddish bullshit stories in FHM; "Me and this accounts bird were having a cheeky shag in the bogs at work, when..."

As an American person, I pretty much only associate it with Thomas the Tank Engine. One or another of those trains was always being cheeky.

"A little ____ never hurt anybody" (which is only said about the things that have very definitely hurt people)

Also, I loathe corporate speak
"touch base with"
"reach out to"
"I would be interested in discussing"

"Threw up in my mouth a little bit" was on spongebob last night. I sure hope it doesn't catch on with my kid.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, March 23, 2010 6:51 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark

I say this verbatim sort of frequently whenever anyone says/suggests something really awful or stupid.

I saw "leverage our synergy" seriously used in an email recently.

Also, I loathe corporate speak
"touch base with"
"reach out to"
"I would be interested in discussing"

Yup. Add: "X has the opportunity to..." and adding "up" to prepositions, as in "I want to change up my wardrobe."

"The boy," as used by adult women to refer to their male partner. You see this shit on Yelp a lot, like "So the boy and I decided we wanted tapas on Friday..."

That is as bad as "hubby."

"hubby" needs to die

My mom called my husband "hubby" and then immediately recanted bcz I guess I shot her a look.

hahaha "hubbles" is acceptable though, i'd say

I really hate the word "tush". Great ZZ Top song and all but such an icky word. "Tushie" is even worse.

No, I hate the ZZ Top song, pretty much exclusively bcz of that word.

I like the Ghostface song.

"Tush" is said by the same kind of person who would call a man a "hunk."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KbcYnP2ZWQ&feature=related

pretty sure Billy Gibbons has never called anybody "hunk"

xp Ha, totally.

also you hate ZZ Top!? I am sad

"leverage our synergy"

A+++

This one isn't a phrase but it confuses me:
"Excuse me" being used by people walking in your general direction who aren't going to crash into you & you're really not posing any kind of obstacle to them going on their merry way, which leads me to assume it's an attention-getting device, as in "Hi I'm walking past you now, saw you weren't really noticing me, don't freak out at my proximity to you". Very weird, uniquely American convention that I haven't quite grasped yet.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, November 19, 2005 9:01 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I'm not sure I understand. I don't recall this being a thing people do if we are talking about someone approaching you. When passing someone from behind I say "excuse me" b/c I don't want to surprise them and I want to let them know that I am not a mugger or a creep.

I'm also confused by "yup." It seems so standard and normal, like "uh-huh" or "nah" or "hmm?" Is this, too, an American thing?

by some people's aversion to "yup," I mean

"cringe inducing"

I just used this on another thread, but in doing so I realized that I don't like how much it just focuses on a physiological reaction, rather than the emotional reasons for that reaction.

"_________ goodness"

kind of hate the genericness of this, like "ohh this pastry is filled with creamy goodness" or "oh yeah give me some of that football goodness"

"My bad" goes back to at least 1992. One of those things I made fun of people enough for saying and it wormed its way into my vocabulary.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, April 20, 2010 6:39 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am still haunted by a memory of a girl saying to me "oh, I bet you're one of those guys who says 'my bad', aren't you?" circa 1990.

I was. I stopped immediately.

Did you see this?

Manute Bol R.I.P.

Saying:

Anyone?

Beuler?

Vastly overplayed, long since not funny.

File under the same category as people who say "whatchu talkin' about willis?"

that's a good one but the problem is people jump to it too quickly. if you play like it like the original scene it's okay imo

Someone posted this on ilx today.

Anyone?

Beuler?

A server at a fine dining restaurant I worked at was trying to get the attention of a large party (of business people) to tell them the special, and they ignored her completely until she said "Anybody? Beuler? Beuler?" and it was divine and it got their attention, and some even laughed.

That was about two years ago, and it was the very first time I had ever heard it, and I don't know if I've heard it since, so it's still funny to me.

"got it on lock"

I also hate "Makes ya think", because everybody I know who says it is usually referring to some urban legend email they just forwarded...

i love 'makes u *think*' because history mayne, ice cream, crut and others use it to classic effect all over ilx

Heard on the street yesterday, re a co-worker who let her dog lick her on the mouth: "It's OK to love your dog, but don't LOOOVE your dog! Hahaha."

I forgot how much I hate that stupid line.

Honestly I can pretty much tell if someone and me will be good friends or not by the things they say. If they spout off lines like the one Jesse said above I'm usually pretty sure that I'll NEVER hang out with said person.

hopefully ppl don't ever say this anymore, but

"bad boys" or "puppies" e.g., "give me one of those bad boys"

ah hell everybody does the "bad boy" thing here, it's permeated somewhat to the 'older' crowd even. I hate it too.

here's a couple i hate:

"don't we already have this thread?"

"we've done this before"

"No biggie" for "that's not a big problem"

Absolutely fucking dreadful.

"mentee" instead of "protege" -- don't be making up new words that suck when there are already good ones

mentee makes me think of manatees or mentos

I would LIKE working with manatees. "Mentees", not so much

- "fast track" as a verb
- "incentivize" instead of "encourage"

Using verb "do" when ordering food.
"And for you sir?"
"Uh, I think I'll do the cedar plank grilled salmon."

Maybe he has something else in mind in regards to his dinner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcdvyYc5zmE

If this nitwit in the office uses "reach out" for "communicate" one more time...

a new one i'm hearing is "inreach" (communicating internally, as opposed to "outreach")

yaaaaaaargh

my brother laughed at me for saying "right on" on the phone the other day, something I say probably 800 times a day

stop saying 'within' instead of 'in'

stop saying 'utilize' instead of 'use'

stop saying 'embolden' and punch yourself

stop saying 'utilize' instead of 'use'

so otm

a new one i'm hearing is "inreach" (communicating internally, as opposed to "outreach")

Rage.

"real talk"

ugh

a new one i'm hearing is "inreach" (communicating internally, as opposed to "outreach")

yaaaaaaargh

― Z S

just had to use this is a statement of work.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/leicester/content/images/2006/10/19/dmu_head_in_hands_315x420.jpg

'TANOREXIA'. STOP IT. NOW.

douchenozzle

phrases you love: "holy cats!"

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8bgpWIRURlg/TcHybqLK0qI/AAAAAAAAJd8/e1O05I88A_U/s400/idiotman.png

My boss quit last month. The person in charge of supervising me now says "it is what it is".

"Give it up for Nicki Minaj."

'learnings'

"Listen to your body"

i really enjoy all these shitty phrases tbh

.. going forward.

"... with regard to (X)..." when it is entirely unncessary.

^^^^ yes also:

"with respect to"
"in terms of"

oh, also 'next-level' and 'epic.' but i suspect they've been covered already.

"traditional socities"

argh!

"Obama is not perfect"

"all of the _________s"

I swear some people can't help talking entirely in memes

I know it's hard to hear, Morbs, but it's true.

"what we talk about when we talk about"
"not a good look"

"what we talk about when we talk about"

this one is terrible. it gets tacked onto all kinds of book and article titles for no reason other than It Is A Clever Reference To A Famous Writer Don't You See

I think there was a time when "The Unbearable Lightness Of X [or of Being X]" was used similarly, also "Portrait of the Artist as an X"

people who unnecessary pluralize things to sound like lolcats - "we should go play Halos now"

"at the end of the day..."

Stop titling books The End of something

"no homo" always bugs me.

yeah i'd probably never hang out with someone who would actually say that, but the Lonely Island song on that is really funny

.. going forward.

I'm not sure how you're hearing it used, but to me it's just a common phrase synonymous with "from now on" but without the slightly commanding tone. Or interchangeable with "in the future," which I don't love b/c in my head I always imagine I'm talking about the far, far Future.

"let's take this offline"

Something McSomethingson. ugh.

"going forward" vs "in future"

Something McSomethingson. ugh.

^ yeah, this is the fucking worst, nappy mcnapperson or whatever. go die.

I basically say many of these all day at my job.

AWESOME SAUCE!!

"let's take this offline"

― Poliopolice, Friday, May 4, 2012 1:08 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i wish this was *something else* but i can't hate because in the workplace it's a v. useful phrase

I try not to hate on cliches too much. They are like short circuits or reflex actions in the language center of your brain. Most people can't help it. Moreover, most of them were, at birth, quite fresh and creative coinages. That is why they became memes.

So, please, do not go postal or get medieval on someone's ass when you hear them. They are innocent, playful sprites of language that were captured and enslaved, until they became the misshapen, joyless monsters you are familiar with today. Pity them.

"madder than a box of frogs"

I like that one!

Most frogs I am familiar with, when they are placed en masse into a box, will only evince a certain desperation to escape.

if that

AWESOME SAUCE!!

o god yes, so horrible. also "the awesome", "the (new) hotness", etc.

IN THE FACE!!

"degree of difficulty"

basically when NBA announcers say "the degree of difficulty of that shot!" when they just mean "difficult shot!"

not a phrase properly but the way people end their posts with an unpunctuated "so" is so cringe-inducing. but there's not anything I can really do about it so

people launching their post with a ponderous chin-stroking 'hmmm'.

the way people end their posts with an unpunctuated "so" is so cringe-inducing

hmmm. do that all the time.

Me too, so

An I'm guilty of hmmmm as well

'My take on it is...'

'Here's the deal...' (and also 'Here's the thing...')

'Stupid o'clock'

I say a lot of the things in this thread - I'm a nervous talker and I guess I'm not bright enough to come up with something better to say.

"hate on"

so much more accurate and fun to write "hate"

"do what?" as a response to something not heard well, like "excuse me?" or "pardon?" if i wanted you to do something then maaaaybe it would make a bit of snese but it signifies inappropriate fealty & hence sounds dumb.

man I am a huge defender of "hate on," one of my favorite terms to have come into use during my lifetime. Do not hate on "hate on," Alfred. It expresses something different from hate. Hate is something I have in my heart, something I feel. Hate on is something I do. Genuine & useful difference.

I once had a boss, during my worst summer job, who would say "Money!" and "That's money."

"do what?" as a response to something not heard well, like "excuse me?" or "pardon?" if i wanted you to do something then maaaaybe it would make a bit of snese but it signifies inappropriate fealty & hence sounds dumb.

I don't deal nicely with mumbling and low volume. I either pretend the person hasn't spoken or I say "speak louder." Once or twice I've gone as far as "speak louder or don't speak." (Never that to my family though.)

few of these bother me as spoken; most of these bother me when written. it's not colloquialized langauge, it's mostly just lazzzy

xpost to self, way to come across as the biggest jackass on the planet, ughh...

xp I was recently looking through some 1969-70 Esquires for work and boy did they love variations on "Portrait of the x as a y"

"Methinks" is worse than war crimes. Someone complains about this in Huxley's Crome Yellow so it was irritating people as far back as 1921.

"Hmmm" is v useful in online discourse, especially Twitter. It basically says "I completely disagree with what you just said but I don't want to be a dick about it so I'll pretend I'm giving it some thought."

The same person at work who says "What say you" in emails, also says "Methinks". In emails.

TBF, "Hmmm" is usually kind of a passive-aggressive dick move. I doubt many people would interpret it as an indicator of a genuine pause for thoughtful reflection.

aero, when I hate believe me I do it.

academic version of the overdone 'Portrait of the X as a Y' thing is '______ and its Discontents'.

^^^ yes

"prose stylist"/"prose stylings"

"she'll break a lot of hearts someday"

I pretty much interpret it as, "your daughter is so pretty, men will soon be weeping over her, fighting over her, probably even killing themselves over her, so you'd better get used to it." blecch.

why not interpret it as, "she'll be a successful but somewhat butter-fingered cardiac surgeon"? i guess it's still a back-handed compliment.

or work in a glass factory making heart-shaped glass ornaments

or 'she'll be a good card player, eventually'

"she'll break a lot of balls, some day"

"her relationships in later life will be unfulfilling and disappointing because of her superficial beauty and the unrealistic expectations placed upon her by admirers"

"she will eat many artichokes"

haha remy

"her relationships in later life will be unfulfilling and disappointing because of her superficial beauty and the unrealistic expectations placed upon her by admirers"

exactly. I guess I'm butthurt at the implication that it's a girl's destiny to be a passive, unintentional influence on guys' feelings, but it's more the idea than the wording that annoys me. "she'll break a lot of sharts someday" would be almost liberating by comparison.

(there's nothing passive or prissy about a shart)

I hate "God don't like ugly" or citing "karma" when something happens to someone the speaker doesn't like/thinks deserves it.

a little googling suggests that the "break a lot of hearts" line is mostly used on ugly babies (even boys), so maybe the subtext is more like, "nope, no major deformities here. at least this chubby shit won't grow up to be a freak, might even get married someday."

Calling things or processes "sexy" in corporate speak really annoys me. Seems to happen more and more.

Paraphrase from a recent conference:
"Green jobs and sustainability have become very sexy topics this year..."

or

"The hard work behind [whatever project] may not be sexy, but it's necessary..."

Devalues actual sexy things!

^yeah

also refering to non-food things as 'tasty'

xpost

what about when the phrase "sexed up" is applied to cooking, like, "I sexed up the chowder by sauteing the onions in bacon fat"? ewwwwww.

yeah there will be no sexing up of foodstuffs plz

the bacon fat is already gross enough even without being "sexed up"

Massively overused joke construct, particularly on Twitter:

"That awkward moment when [X...]"

yes

Mostly from other message boards:

"Am I the only one who..?/I am the only one who..."

"I am a bad person/going to Hell for saying this but..."

"Am I the only one who..?/I am the only one who..."

it seems like this is usually shorthand for "I have a slightly unpopular opinion, and only about 25% of you are gonna agree with me on this, but...[I think Isn't Anything is better than Loveless]." it doesn't annoy me much, but it's kind of a misleading conversation starter.

ilx search pulls up 60+ thread titles with the words "am I the only", so you're being tactful with your "other message boards" comment.

am i the only person who likes cold soup straight from the can?

ok so he really was the only one, what the fuck

"I'm looking at you"

Actually I never really noticed or was bothered by that on here!

It has stood out elsewhere on the internet because of the stupidity and mundaneness of what follows...people who says things like "Am I the only one who didn't like the movie Avatar?" "Am I the only woman who doesn't care about shoes?" etc. But I suppose expressing such false ideas of uniqueness are annoying regardless of how they are phrased.

Calling things or processes "sexy" in corporate speak really annoys me. Seems to happen more and more.

This was pervasive in my office around 2008. The most frequent users always sort of hesitated a bit right before and after saying it, like they felt transgressive or something.

"Sustainability is a really..." should i say it? "...sexy..." I said it! I said it! What did you think? "fundraising topic this year..."

"you gotta love ____"

invariably said about something or someone i don't even like

"no-brainer"

invariably said about an issue or decision that requires thought

"full of [cheesy/bacony/caramelized/multi-processor/etc] goodness"

"Good point, well made"

I don't normally have these feeling about phrases, but "massage the data" is something I never need to hear again.

massage (v, t) -- to manipulate? to examine? to adjust? to squeeze? to grope? to what?! i hate this usage of the word "massage."

manipulate (gently)

"massage the facts" is used a lot in law settings -- it has a winky euphemistic connotation that I don't really mind.

"legendary x" used any time more than five people have heard of someone, as in "legendary jazz tubraphonist billy eames comes to the blue hat this saturday." I mean "legendary" doesn't just mean "famous" and a lot of the people described that way aren't even famous.

I avoid it too. I sometimes use "finesse" in places that some might use some form of "massage."

xp re "massage"

"It's almost... as if..."

Stop it now ILX.

It's almost as if you got zinged on another thread.

zinged by you restating exactly what i'd just said but not understanding it and then repeating it back to me in a snarky way? yup...

"the answer depends on who you ask"

No it doesn't! You're just using that as cover for the fact that you can't distinguish a correct answer from an incorrect one.

"I come bearing gifts"

especially when it's used ironically and the "gift" is something really really unpleasant. "I come bearing gifts!" *drops a huge stack of papers on desk* / *shits on desk* / *shoots u in face*

"if you could..." statements that trail off without a consequence. "if you could take out the trash before you leave..." I guess the implied second half of the sentence is, "I'd really appreciate it," but why not just say so?

hate it when people say "because of, or perhaps in spite of..." when they mean either "because of" or "in spite of", but certainly not both.

(er, "in spite of, or perhaps because of...", I mean)

"doesn't pass the smell test"

Again through overuse.

"the next level"

I've noticed an increasing trend in customer service -- specifically in line situations -- for service people to say "May I please help the following customer?"

That just can't be right. "The following customer" implies that you're about to specify which customer you mean. It's not the same thing as "the next customer," is it?

Huh. Haven't heard that yet. Back when I was in retail, it used to bug me when my coworkers would say "Can I help who's next?"

"No, Pete Townsend really had a good handle on that one..."

Can I help who's next?

it was an interesting post to read at 4:40 in the morning - the perfect time to read language log I find - but when I hear that phrase I just assume a speedy fusing of two separate sentences: "Can I help?" and "Who's next?"

Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

doing more with less

...in this time of economic uncertainty...

"moving forward"
"touch base"
"killed/killing/kill it"

This is more of a pet peeve-y thing but adding only "So" before a word as a response and ... nothing more.

"That movie was great!"
"So good."

"Did you watch the debates?"
"So boring."

I don't know why this irks me but it does.

adding "kind of thing" to the end of rambling sentences

"Like us on facebook" FUCK YOU DON'T COMMAND ME WHAT TO LIKE

it was an interesting post to read at 4:40 in the morning - the perfect time to read language log I find - but when I hear that phrase I just assume a speedy fusing of two separate sentences: "Can I help?" and "Who's next?"

― Fizzles, Friday, September 28, 2012 11:48 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think it's just an unfancy way of saying "I shall now assist whosoever may be the forthcoming person in the line"

i see "...and whatnot" everywhere now. i read it all the time. even in stuff by really smart people.

i used it in my youtube videos as a gag, but ever since i started doing them i hear/see it all the time. you know, any list of things followed by "and whatnot".

i like using 'and whatnot'!
much better than swearing like a sailor.

another sports one (basketball): "Icewater in his veins!" because to me that evokes a dude who would be shivery and uncomfortable, not cool under pressure.

has their been any hatred for "could care less" yet? that one makes me cringe, like i have icewater in my veins.

In the 7th grade, the coach told me I had icewater in my veins after I hit two clutch free throws against St. Bavo. Presumably the icewater would absorb the excess heat caused by the stressful situation. Perhaps the equilibrium would be a stable 98.6. Use your imagination.

it sounds painful though

"I'm just spitballing here but..."

Said often by dudes in office meetings and it's usually followed by a terrible idea.

"Deep cuts." I'll adjust. We used to call them album tracks. Deep cuts sounds so...elevated, if the first albums you owned were by the Guess Who and the Partridge Family.

butt crack of dawn

see also: crap of dawn

aka sparrow-fart in the uk

What's up with all these hills/flags that people have been choosing to die on/under lately? Is this some Game of Thrones thing?

I don't like "balls-out" "balls to the wall" or "boom-boom room". I just find them all ugly sounding.

as we move further from the 2012 election cycle, "skin in the game" has become more infrequently used, thankfully. still hear it occasionally though and it makes my skin crawl.

similarly, "skin of your teeth"

"shirts and skins"

"skin in the game" sounds hot.

you're all thin skinned
those words are fine

any phrase can sound idiotic in the mouth of an idiot

"Shit eating grin"

British people saying "jonesing", like they even know what it means. I don't know what it means. What *does* it mean?

Although I suppose that's just a word. How about "I'm totally jonesing on the banh mi at (wherever)".

I've never heard jonesing *on*" something - only jonesing *for* something.

jonesing *for* something means you have an addict-type craving for something. I think it might have started as heroin slang?

See, I told you I didn't like it.

http://oldschoolmusiclover.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Basket-Ball-Jones-Single.jpg

(That was supposed to be http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f3/Basketball_Jones_single.jpg)

"Good times."

"Not so much."

"could i actually..."

"That's concerning."

"Shit eating grin"

http://flawlessvision.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/dogeatsshit.jpg

"to be hanged by the neck until dead"

busting my hump

K

going forward

"the money's still green"

Haha Aimless. Avoid old westerns I guess. xp

or new westerns trying to be old westerns

sentences that begin with "all I ask..."

Is it too much to ask?

How has 'man cave' not made its odious way into this thread yet?

Possibly nothing I hate more in my job then having to repeatedly write "including, but not limited to,..."

"I loves me some...."

^^^ otm

although the guys -- always guys -- who use "I loves me some" are in the same demographic that thinks "Not!" is a hilarious interjection.

"shoved down our throats"

Sadly, not always guys loves them some _________.

Is that the same demographic that uses "...said no one EVER."

"pop of color"

also, when, instead of saying "I love x", they just say "love!"

yes, doo dah

"pop of colour" is the worst

I thought 'pop of colour' was a contraction of 'population of colour' (like 'person of colour') at first.

"cow-orkers". This has not been amusing for a very, very long time.

"Can I get a drink STARTED for anyone?" at coffee places with lines

As though a coffee is an enormously complex project with various stages. I'll get it STARTED for you, and our team of coffee specialists will have it finished within an hour. I mean I appreciate the practice, I just think it sounds funny.

haha yeah

having worked at starbucks, "started" is accurate.

I sometimes hear americans saying "I'm going to have" or "I'm going to get" when ordering food/drinks instead of "may I please have or get if it's not too much trouble?"

guilty as charged.

SUBWAY ARTIST: What would you like today, sir?

ME: I'll get a 12-incher... and I'll take tomatoes, pickles, lettuce and mustard on it.

no, it ain't right.

I sometimes always hear americans saying "I'm going to have" or "I'm going to get"

"Alright mr. sandwich artist, you're working for me now, and this is how it's gonna be: I'm gonna have turkey on whole wheat bread. You're gonna slather it with mayonnaise. Then you're gonna layer it with turkey breast, lettuce, tomatoes and pickles. Is that clear? Do we have an understanding?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYFLUz1ZY-A

Sandwich artist

Probably said this before, but one of the only phrases I hate are when people say "myself" and "yourself" instead of 'me' and 'you'. you get a lot of English service-industry people doing the whole "Is there anything else I can do for yourself today at all?". The best one I heard about was in a hotel guestbook had written "Myself and my wife had a lovely time". What a cock.

"The room smelled like chestnuts."

Signed,

Me, Myself & Wife

"nuke (x) from space/orbit"

The "myself" thing is the sort of thing people who don't have the best grammar write to sound more educated. I find it kind of cute and it doesn't really annoy me.

I guess the same thing can be said about "May I please help the following guest" though.

I sometimes hear americans saying "I'm going to have" or "I'm going to get" when ordering food/drinks instead of "may I please have or get if it's not too much trouble?"

― conrad, Friday, November 15, 2013 3:51 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I love the notion of saying "if it's not too much trouble?" in a fast food scenario.

I definitely say "Could I please get"

It's almost to the point sometimes where I think too hard about not saying "I'll take..." that when the cashier asks me what she can get for me today, I say "... ... CHESSEBURGER."

The "myself" thing is the sort of thing people who don't have the best grammar write to sound more educated. I find it kind of cute and it doesn't really annoy me.
this is called overcorrection iirc and it's a real sort of failed aspirational thing that some people do
cute is not a word i would use to describe this behavior but it's interesting it's being framed that way

this is like the sociolinguistics corpus collection thread tbh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YXPJOUD7G0

lady on the phone just did the whole pacific/specific thing TWICE. that one doesn't annoy me so much. as Hurting says, it's kind of cute.

cute? really?

i dunno. cute isn't the word i guess. it's just... well i'd never want to correct anyone who says it twice in a sentence.

"the phrase that pays"

The "myself" thing is the sort of thing people who don't have the best grammar write to sound more educated

Guess which self y'all can go fuck

and thats from myself and four million irish ppl

Also can i get a little less preciousness about phrasing when ordering food, or when speaking in general, language is living art and yourselves all need to learn to appreciate the valid ways a message gets flung atcha

Uh im not rly mad i just thought that was a reasonably snappy 'self' line tbh

But srsly the meself, yourself, himself thing is an irish thing from the gaeilge that was brought with us into forced anglicisation (immeasurably improving the language, obv) and mé féin is iirc a more formal usage than mise and it may well be that this is the root of it in more formal contexts from ourselves.

So in conclusion, while some people disapprove of the usage...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsLfa9RsV9Y

Travelers cast wary eye as storm moves eastward

Oh, I'd bet they don't.

Though kudos to the ... Anchorage Daily News? ... for at least giving a shot at illustrating the cliché.

"how are you?"
"oh, i'm here."

Just giving you a shout.

_______ porn

especially if it's not actually porn

that's what i mean! it's attributing a largely inaccurate quality of titillation to the noun modifying it. people just want more excuses to use the word "porn" i guess

celibacy porn

nounporn

give me good old fashioned sex porn any day.

nouns are some of the most arousing parts of speech

interjections have the porn market cleaned up though let's face it
oh! ah! uh! ooh! wait!

The first time I remember being aware of the "___ porn" construction was during the housing bubble, when it seemed like shows and magazine features and the like about oversized homes were suddenly everywhere, and I thought "Real Estate Porn" was actually a great descriptor because it captured the vulgarity of it all. Now it's definitely overused and has lost its bite.

Not to mention it takes away from actual real estate porn where participants are eager to show off their open house.

i can't even with all these feels

"Man Cave"

"hot mess"

"eyeballs"

In content meetings about our online readership, I hear questions like "How do we get more eyeballs looking at the page and how do we get those eyeballs to stay on the page?"

And I'm like, I don't know, don't advertise at pirate or purple people eater conventions?

"meatspace"

"hot mess"

― nackt nacht (doo dah), Monday, December 16, 2013 7:01 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hate this so much. or hot minute.

Apropos

'A mail' instead of 'an email'.

Every time someone uses "blue pill/red pill" I don't know whether to punch through a wall or cry.

Depends on which pill you choose.

And whether the "wall" I want to punch through is the wall of illusion.

"Too soon?"
"tough on crime"
"That's right, I said it"
"first world problem"

idgi -- what's red pill/blue pill?

http://www.hometalkies.com/lucia/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/matrix.jpg

Metaphor from Matrix, favored by libertarians, bitcoins, and MRAs, all of whom are basically the same people.

huh. i don't encounter any people of those groups on a regular basis and i fell asleep during the matrix. what does it imply?

look, do you want to take the red pill and google this for yourself, or take the blue pill and remain blissfully in the dark?

-let's table this for now

lol for a sec I thought you meant our red pill/blue pill discussion

i didn't want to google for it sorry
i think i'll choose to take no pills and remain in the dark with this conversation tabled for now

which reminds me -- i have seen a swift uptick in the usage of the word "conversation" to mean "hashing out a particularly vexing issue" -- "join the conversation" or "start a conversation"

i don't hate it necessarily i just wanted to have the conversation

__________ No Longer a Hidden Jewel

I should have my hands cut off for the number of times I've written that headline. These places are nothing like jewels and why would they be hidden in the first place?

"sorry not sorry"

_____ hair don't care

(blonde, red, long, etc.)

"That's right, I said it"

I think you mean

"That's right, I went there"

"mouth feel"

"You're welcome."

When not followed by someone saying "Thank you" first.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/02/29/taxes-for-beginners/

You're welcome.

Like that.

Ha, I actually like that one. The aggressive preemptive "You're welcome."

Not that I would use it myself.

that particular use of "you're welcome" has ruined (for me) the usual usage of it so that i can't imagine anyone using it without a shade of irony or annoyance. it's bad.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_hi4TbVj_QiY/SYoVFcsMGQI/AAAAAAAADyQ/X2YOKIi5tSg/s400/You

Yeah I always associate it with that GWB thing, whose title is such an brilliantly compact piece of verbal comedy that I give the phrase a pass forever

I only use the phrase "you're welcome" when I am trying to literally make a person feel welcome

in my mind, the phrase comes tagged with an implied "[here]"

"you don't get to dot dot dot"

the blogiverse just proliferates these awful colloquialish phrases at a disturbing rate

Most bloggers have no gift for phrase making, so they use ready made.

a hands-on experience in state-of-the-art classrooms

What the hell is state-of-the-art anymore? They have computers? How does the "the art" come into play. "See this calculator? It is state-of-the-art technology."

And hands-on. I would hazard a guess that pretty much 75-percent of life is "hands-on."

I'm not trying to be http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/2641/716435-jerryseinfeldcharportrait_tiny.png here, but I see those phrases so much.

I like when businesses say they use "best practices" like that's the end of the conversation.

any nailing not involving metal fasteners

"that happened"

"you've got too much time on your hands"

My mom just used the sardonic "you're welcome" in a facebook post.

"Oh [dramatic pause] my God."

Guy at work offering his positive review of a dining establishment ended his monologue with "It is to drool for."

Thatz not okay.

bad taste. ironic, eh?

Ewww.

"I'm gonna have to call out ___"

"Can you talk to that?" when they mean "Can you talk ABOUT that?"

be that as it may

the expression "cool beans"

or "spill the beans"

alright cool your beans

"is that a thing now?" / "is this is a real thing" / "is that a thing"

*incredulous tone, roll eyes* "pass."

xp /"is that even a thing"

"is that a thing that happened?" etc.

kms

This a thing that happened.

oof forgot the "is"

failure

This happened.

This
Is this a thing
Is this a thing
that happened
Is this even a thing
that happened
this happened
this is a thing
that happened
this

is my poem

lcd soundsystem song

it's a thing
it's a thing
it's a real thing
it's a thing
it's a thing
it's a real real thing

even better than the real thing

I know the feeling. It is the real thing. You can't refuse the embrace.

All right, kind of hate to say it, but it's time to stop telling ugly guys married to pretty women that they've "outkicked their coverage."

Phrase had a good run and - needless to say - scored a lot of points, but no, it's over.

I didn't even know that was a thing?

"please and thank you"

I didn't even know that was a thing?

― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Thursday, April 24, 2014 8:40 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You may have dodged it since you all haven't seen as many field-goal attempts from the 48-yard line as we have.

let's destroy all sports metaphors while we're at it

is this also the wordhate thread? because i heard the word "plump" on tv this morning and felt sick to my stomach

Referring to anything as "heady", which becomes infinitely worse when followed by the word "brew"

xxp as much as i don't mind both npr and baseball i hate hearing "step up to the plate" constantly during npr pledge drives.

"right"

As in boss-speak, such as:

"We've got to get these numbers down to a managable level, right? That involves being more efficient in processes, right? Looking at our procedures and leveraging the other teams, right? etc etc etc etc , right?"

It's not a question, it's a way of assuming that people understand/agree with what you're saying without having to verify they actually do, and then to string together lots of these assumptions without ever having to take a break in speaking.

ugh that is the worst