Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise/IP-based flick of 2023

I really disliked Bullet Train. The film sucked everything out of the book that made it interesting/entertaining.

Anyone who still thinks reboots are stupid needs to watch this NOW. 👇👇👇pic.twitter.com/myeBm9XruR

— Jeremy (@jeremylevick) March 13, 2023

Lego Zapruder

I’m patiently awaiting grimdark Grizzly Adams.

Grizzly

The Apple Dumpling Gang...as you've never seen them before.

Getalong Gang featuring Montgomery "Mayhem" Moose, a 'Nam vet

Come on y'all, Grisly Adams is such a gimme

bullet train… i’d maybe go as far to say it’s diverting…. but fun? it was like sub-guy ritchie

― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Monday, March 13, 2023 6:25 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

as cool as the John Wick movies are, any attempts to replicate the films' style and self-contained universe have been almost completely bad. i think they're kind of a terrible influence on action movies, just bc they walk a knife's edge: they're pretty reasonably coherent visually despite being "busy" and they're pretty interesting in terms of character dynamics (despite the characters being types and not people per se...) and it takes a lot of skill to have them not be completely dumb and actually next-level. there's a lot of Walter hill in those movies, just the surreal take on a genre picture like The Warriors or Streets of Fire.

Didn't realize there was a Tetris movie until I saw a review just now, but I guess I'm mildly relieved that it appears to be a movie about the making/marketing of the game (with some Cold War intrigue thrown in) rather than a world-building sci-fi drama set in the Tetris universe or some such shit.

It's ok to think either outcome is shit

I got maybe 20-30 minutes into the first John Wick, then gave up, realizing this is just not for me. Which made me a little sad, but having been briefed on the plot/larger world of these movies, it seems like it *should* be for me. But it was a shrug, and the notion of spending hours and hours in this universe didn’t appeal.

Normcore iterations of 80s Hong Kong movies are the best

a world-building sci-fi drama set in the Tetris universe

How quickly we forget Minesweeper: the Movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs

I'm not annoyed at the existence of the John Wick movies, they just aren't for me. I'm happy that people are happy.

having been briefed on the plot/larger world of these movies

The larger world doesn’t really manifest until the last 90 seconds of Wick 1, so you could skip straight to 2 if that’s what you’re looking for - the camp aspect fully blossoms from there

ob: ScreaVI is a good Scream 2 to Scream 2022 btw

I did like it, even if the ending was bloated

That wonka film looks like cold piss

Oompa loompa doompa de piss

Absolutely insane that King and Farnaby would go from the most beloved modernisation of a childrens book series in film history to something so profoundly misconceived as this

Chalamet seems... not right for this

https://64.media.tumblr.com/fc63ce7a327215128caacd7d7b199934/f1c1de3186f99c8d-5d/s500x750/450ca1127866cf3398e058aed582465b9f7cef24.gif

Is there a better burn (or at least description) than Gretchen felker-martin calling him a “total coke nail”

very jay leno voice

ya hear how they pushed Dune 2 but not Wonka because of the strikes?

it's not on the list but I was dragged to My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 today and although I didn't like the first two, this one was a complete pile of shit, conflict-free tourism film.

We doing one this year or are we just deciding it’s pointless cause Biden v trump would win in a landslide

Oh that has to be an option plz

Our normal pollrunner for this stepped back from ILX back in August.

winner of this year's poll is ghostbusters: FROZEN EMPIRE

just as it was last year apparently lol

Wonka was apparently not terrible?

Also lolz that Quantumania is at the very bottom of this list too

Oh wow. Just been looking at what's coming this year and it's a strong list.

As well as the forthcoming Road House remake, we'll also be treated to a movie of 80's series The Fall Guy, what must now be the third reboot of Planet of the Apes, various sequels years after the original (Beetlejuice 2, Gladiator 2, Twisters) plus things like The First Omen, Bad Boys 4, Joker 2, Venom 4, Ghostbusters etc.

Let's gooo

bring on 2024, yes lol

IIRC the new Planet of the Apes is a continuation of the recent reboot trilogy, which was much better than it had any business being. Buuuut the franchise is with Disney now so let's see what happens.

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish) at 12:53 6 Feb 24

Wonka was apparently not terrible?

Saw Wonka with my kids last week. It is exceedingly whimsical in a way that surely isn't to everyone's taste, but imo they managed to thread the needle with a pretty delicate tone of magical realism, kept the character likeable (much credit to Chalamet), some good dance numbers. Biggest criticism was it's very sanitized and tidy, doesn't really stake any sort of unique and memorable identity. The songs were eminently forgettable. And the plot was pretty ridiculous but they make it pretty clear you shouldn't worry too much about that. All in all, as a kids' movie, I enjoyed it!

I'm gonna be real interested to see if another Exorcist actually happens after the most recent one got ripped to shreds and David Gordon Green immediately split. I can't Believe(r) they committed to an entire trilogy before waiting to see if the first one was a total POS. Just keep flushin' that money down the toity, Hollywood.

a huge blow for the Christianity Cinematic Universe

we'll never get our God's Not Dead/Exorcist crossover now

so wanted to see Kevin Sorbo's head twist off

Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise/IP-based flick of 2024

It's a Wonderful Life II, the Revenge of Clarence