Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise/IP-based flick of 2024

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So we've already had the Mean Girls remake. Pick your fave. Or least.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Unfrosted: The Pop Tart Story 5
The People's Joker 4
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire 4
The Garfield Movie 3
Back to Black (Amy Winehouse biopic) 3
Road House 2
Piece by Piece (Pharrell Williams biopic in Legos) 2
Bob Marley: One Love 2
Joker 2 2
Kraven the Hunter 2
Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim 1
Nosferatu 1
Ballerina (Wick spinoff) 1
Bad Boys 4 1
Gladiator 2 1
Twisters 1
Deadpool 3 1
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 1
Untitled Sixth Karate Kid film 1
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice 1
Dune Part 2 1
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes 1
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire 1
The Casagrandes Movie 0
White Bird (prequel to Wonder) 0
The Strangers: Chapter One 0
Smile Deluxe 0
Wolf Man 0
Terrifier 3 0
A Quiet Place: Day One 0
Wicked: Part One 0
Kung Fu Panda 4 0
Outlaw Posse 0
Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate 0
Musafa: the Lion King 0
Saw XI 0
Transformers One 0
The Fall Guy 0
Inside Out 2 0
Rebel Moon 2: The Scargiver 0
Abigail (Dracula's Daughter remake) 0
Despicable Me 4 0
Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F 0
Woody Woodpecker Goes to Camp 0
Madame Web 0
Harold and the Purple Crayon 0
Borderlands 0
Alien: Romulus 0
The First Omen 0
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga 0


Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 18:34 (two weeks ago) link

Joker 2 will make me the most nauseous
Twisters will only be good if the main character is a tornado and Bill Paxton's daughter tries to murder it in revenge

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 18:37 (two weeks ago) link

I went to the cinema with my kids to see the last sonic the hedgehog film and the thought of seeing another one made me shudder, so that.

This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 18:43 (two weeks ago) link

Deadpool 3

oh god

ivy., Tuesday, 6 February 2024 18:52 (two weeks ago) link

Piece by Piece (Pharrell Williams biopic in Legos)

ok?

silverfish, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 19:03 (two weeks ago) link

wait where's Biden vs Trump?

wang mang band (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 19:58 (two weeks ago) link

In there as megamind vs the doom syndicate

Boris Yitsbin (wins), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:00 (two weeks ago) link

no Intellectual property detected

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:13 (two weeks ago) link

really want to emphasize how terrible the winehouse movie looks

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:17 (two weeks ago) link

voted for Kraven the Hunter because the poster suggests it feature Sam Taylor Johnson wearing normal pants and not the leopard print leggings Kraven had in the comics

soref, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:33 (two weeks ago) link

I feel like Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is probably going to be the most disappointing

soref, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:37 (two weeks ago) link

I wish I could vote for like 10 of these

Marten Broadcloak, mild-mannered GOP congressman (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:40 (two weeks ago) link

idk about the inclusion of random biopics

Boris Yitsbin (wins), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:40 (two weeks ago) link

Having seen the Ghostbusters 4 trailer, that.

nashwan, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:47 (two weeks ago) link

Jerry Seinfeld will direct, produce, co-write and star in the film, which is based on a joke he told about the creation of the Pop-Tart.[2]

ok, this sounds pretty unpromising

soref, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:47 (two weeks ago) link

I'm sure I voted Dune 2 last year, but in my defense, I didn't know they were going to release a popcorn box sex toy to go with it

badpee pooper (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:55 (two weeks ago) link

Terrifier 3

Can't wait for Letterboxd edgelords to declare this the Citizen Kane of our times

badpee pooper (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 20:56 (two weeks ago) link

I was going to include Air Force One Down, starring Anthony Michael Hall, but couldn't find any indication it was a sequel to Air Force One.

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:02 (two weeks ago) link

what is outlaw posse meant to be a sequel to/remake of?

Boris Yitsbin (wins), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:03 (two weeks ago) link

Posse
It's a Mario Van Peebles film

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:04 (two weeks ago) link

Think it's a sequel to Air Force Three Across xps

groovypanda, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:07 (two weeks ago) link

is there a connection otherwise tho? or is it a crimes of the future thing, it isn't clear from a brief search

Boris Yitsbin (wins), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:08 (two weeks ago) link

Jerry Seinfeld's writing career post-Seinfeld is taking throwaway movie titles the Seinfeld writers came up with but never used, and making them into feature-lengths

But still, Joker 2 is way more unpromising because of the attention it'll get

Vinnie, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:12 (two weeks ago) link

til Seinfeld's first name is Jerome

Chyiv Kyiv (Fetchboy), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:17 (two weeks ago) link

People will start saying "Jokerfied" again

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:18 (two weeks ago) link

Not voting Joker 2 because it's almost impossible for me to imagine disliking it more than Joker the first

badpee pooper (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:24 (two weeks ago) link

Can't wait for Letterboxd edgelords to declare this the Citizen Kane of our times

― badpee pooper (Eric H.), Tuesday, February 6, 2024 3:56 PM (thirty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

can't wait to do exactly this

ivy., Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:34 (two weeks ago) link

I think the Bob Marley one has now passed Wall Street 2 as my most seen trailer ever

soup of magpies (geoffreyess), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:42 (two weeks ago) link

Most promising is People's Joker, as it was pretty great

soup of magpies (geoffreyess), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 21:43 (two weeks ago) link

Not including this in this year's poll turned out prescient:

‘COYOTE VS ACME’ is now expected to be shelved and deleted forever.

Warner Bros wanted $75M - $80M for the film and rejected offers from Netflix, Amazon & Paramount, refusing to let them counter-offer.

(Source: https://t.co/CRJ33GW4SK) pic.twitter.com/fivqey7r39

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) February 9, 2024

Rich E. (Eric H.), Friday, 9 February 2024 14:40 (one week ago) link

loving this new trend of shooting movies and never releasing them

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 9 February 2024 14:49 (one week ago) link

So this was not based on the Ian Frazier New Yorker piece?

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Friday, 9 February 2024 15:02 (one week ago) link

it's based on a landfill, now!

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 9 February 2024 16:23 (one week ago) link

Coyote Vs Acme is based on the New Yorker piece

bae (sic), Friday, 9 February 2024 16:46 (one week ago) link

I don't really understand why it bothers me that they are never releasing (or maybe outright deleting) a movie I would most likely never watch, but it does bother me for some reason, probably because I worry they might also do this same kind of thing to something I'd like to see.

silverfish, Friday, 9 February 2024 17:15 (one week ago) link

the total disrespect and dehumanization of people trying to make their art, regardless of the quality?

Nhex, Friday, 9 February 2024 17:25 (one week ago) link

Right, also the latent (and admittedly very snobby) hunch that the movies studios try to bury are probably way more interesting than the movies studios force upon the mass audience

Rich E. (Eric H.), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:28 (one week ago) link

Anything that's actually faithful to the Looney Tunes aesthetic/ethos is probably a specialty item these days

Rich E. (Eric H.), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:28 (one week ago) link

not to mention completely wasteful re: resources

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:30 (one week ago) link

Seeing mixed reports on whether this is a tax writeoff or not; tax law is completely beyond me tho

Rich E. (Eric H.), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:31 (one week ago) link

wouldn't be surprised if they just make 4 movies a year just to write-off taxes with no intent of release. taking the ashcan copy to new levels

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:34 (one week ago) link

I just cannot fathom being a creator, writer, director, actor or anyone that pours heart and soul into a project and it just *POOF* vanishes without even the chance to be seen by any audience. Not to make any of these disposed of films sound like high art, but surely someone involved put a lot of care and love into what they do and to just see it... gone? It is heartbreaking.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:37 (one week ago) link

I just cannot fathom being a creator, writer, director, actor or anyone that pours heart and soul into a project and it just *POOF* vanishes without even the chance to be seen by any audience. Not to make any of these disposed of films sound like high art, but surely someone involved put a lot of care and love into what they do and to just see it... gone? It is heartbreaking.

― Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0)

idk i feel like that's kind of intrinsic part of being a creator, working really hard on something that nobody ever sees?

Kate (rushomancy), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:42 (one week ago) link

Kelly Reichart's latest film is an example of that, in more ways than one

Rich E. (Eric H.), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:43 (one week ago) link

I suppose it’s a bit like being an artist and a rich guy buys your painting and sets it on fire

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Friday, 9 February 2024 17:54 (one week ago) link

no, it's like being an artist, and being commissioned to create paintings, with the promise that they will be sold to museums for display, and then the purchaser of the paintings driving the painting to the museum, getting to the parking lot, and lighting it on fire in front of the museum curators, laughing

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 9 February 2024 18:00 (one week ago) link

in the background, Jethro Tull's "Thick as a Brick" plays

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Friday, 9 February 2024 18:01 (one week ago) link

Sounds like something the Roadrunner might do

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Friday, 9 February 2024 18:28 (one week ago) link

There isn't really going to be a Gladiator 2, is there?

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Friday, 9 February 2024 18:58 (one week ago) link

I used to watch The Fall Guy all the time (along with other 80s imported US action shows like The A-Team, Airwolf, Blue Thunder, Knight Rider etc etc)

Haven't seen it in almost 40 years but could still probably sing most of the theme tune

groovypanda, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 16:53 (one week ago) link

Actually, was Blue Thunder a show or a movie? Or was it both?

groovypanda, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 16:54 (one week ago) link

A movie and then a show, I think

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:35 (one week ago) link

It was both. (The TV show starred Dana Carvey, believe it or not.) But the show was a failure and only lasted 11 episodes, unlike Airwolf, which ran for four seasons.

Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:36 (one week ago) link

fond memories of texting a friend and asking if he wanted to see TAKEN 3 and he responded "only if the poster says TAK3N"

needless to say, yup


I refused to see the second one because they failed to title it “look who’s taken too”

cozen itt (wins), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:37 (one week ago) link

2KEN

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:38 (one week ago) link

Has the "a guy and a vehicle" genre ever been given the prestige tv treatment?

peace, man, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:38 (one week ago) link

It's unmined territory, much like the talking horse genre

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:39 (one week ago) link

the Fall Guy theme song is indeed a banger. i actually thought the trailer looked entertaining, not that i watch any of this shit, but there was a refreshingly old school "real cars doing jumps and flips" vibe to it

wang mang band (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:40 (one week ago) link

xp - I feel like Poker Face nearly touched on that genre with the Barracuda she drove around.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:41 (one week ago) link

and then a movie about an eccentric millionaire who has a ranch full of horses.

The Foal Guy

― Neanderthal, Wednesday, February 14, 2024 11:40 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Then a spinoff for Monty Python's Mr Creosote...The Full Guy?

Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 17:48 (one week ago) link

I read that Ryan Gosling was going to be in The Fall Guy the other day and in my tired state, I got it mixed up with the video game Fall Guys and thought "oh, guess that makes sense after Barbie"

yeah, I also misread this and assumed they were making a "Fall Guys" movie (my kids have played that game a lot) and honestly didn't give it a second thought, I mean why not make a Fall Guys movie at this point.

I guess the Fall Guy was on TV when I was a little kid, but I don't remember ever having watched it.

silverfish, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 18:51 (one week ago) link

Cancelling Dune 3 to put the money into an epic sci-fi Toejam & Earl film

papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 18:54 (one week ago) link

um I'd be there in a flash

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 18:59 (one week ago) link

get E-40 to play Earl

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 18:59 (one week ago) link

The Fall Guy will only be the second ABC series debuting in the 1981-82 season to be adapted-- the other was Police Squad.
Why haven't they made a T.J. Hooker movie yet?

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 19:02 (one week ago) link

“He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.”

my sister and I used to love quoting "Blade's mother was bitten by a vampire when she was pregnant with Blade," from the Blade trailer, but then I finally saw Blade a few years ago and the line was different. gonna assume they changed it.

soup of magpies (geoffreyess), Wednesday, 14 February 2024 19:15 (one week ago) link

obviously lines appearing in trailers and not in the movie itself isn't a new thing, but it does seem to be more common now, and I feel like now they're just coming up with catchy one-liners to put in trailers to hook people that they have no intention of putting in the movie.

like my friend still quotes "Times for some seasons BEATINGS!" when he quotes Violent Night, and it's not actually said in the movie, just the trailer.

still say the all-time most egregious bullshit was The Mighty Ducks's original trailer, where they edited two pieces of dialogue together to:

"You really suck!"
"Thank you for sharing that"

when the "thank you for sharing that" was a response to the goalie saying he wouldn't be available later in the season as he was moving to Philly.

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 19:19 (one week ago) link

whereas the trailer for fuckin Rogue One was not only full of them, but also gave a different interpretation of Jyn Erso's character as a fully-formed Rebel from the jump.

really glad they cut "I'm a Rebel. I rebel." though

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 19:20 (one week ago) link

my favorite remains, from Murder at 1600 -- "I've got a murder at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. An address that changes all the rules."

omar little, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 19:23 (one week ago) link

Lol, yeah, I totally confused Leitch with Stahelski. Again. I don't think I've seen anything else from Leitch besides "Deadpool 2," which was iirc fine. Of course Stahelski, even then all he's directed have been John Wick movies, right? I guess Stahelski is good at John Wick movies.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 19:38 (one week ago) link

He’s the best at it.

bae (sic), Thursday, 15 February 2024 16:34 (six days ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Sunday, 18 February 2024 00:01 (three days ago) link

Voted Road House. It's like trying to remake an Ed Wood film.

B. Amato (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 18 February 2024 18:06 (three days ago) link

It takes place in the Florida Keys, but shot in the Dominican Republic

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Sunday, 18 February 2024 18:17 (three days ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Monday, 19 February 2024 00:01 (two days ago) link

truly, there were no wrong answers here. one of the grimmest lineups since you started doing these, PK.

not the one who's tryin' to dub your anime (Doctor Casino), Monday, 19 February 2024 00:23 (two days ago) link

The winner is one I didn't initially see in the list lol

But deserved

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Monday, 19 February 2024 00:31 (two days ago) link

Surprised to see People's Joker score so high, that's probably one of the most promising, imho, from what I've heard about. Did voters think it was the official Phoenix Joker sequel (it's not):

The film unofficially parodies characters from the Batman comics, and the main character is a transgender woman based on the Joker, played by Drew. The film also features Scott Aukerman, Tim Heidecker, Maria Bamford, David Liebe Hart, Robert Wuhl, and Bob Odenkirk in supporting roles.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 19 February 2024 01:01 (two days ago) link

I'll confess to voting based on the assumption that it was related to the unjustly feted Phoenix movie. A whole different category of obnoxious, helping me break the tie between all the other cynical cash-in dreck seen here. I guess I'd change my vote to Ghostbusters.

not the one who's tryin' to dub your anime (Doctor Casino), Monday, 19 February 2024 01:17 (two days ago) link

despite the appearances it seems like a one-off small budget satirical thing not really worthy of mentioning re: the thread title

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Monday, 19 February 2024 01:39 (two days ago) link

I love some of the people involved, but I can't imagine it's anything other than terrible.

B. Amato (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 19 February 2024 01:42 (two days ago) link

a dystopian world monitored by Batman, a young child grows up in Smallville, Kansas idolizing the performers on a sketch comedy program, UCB Live.

I would rather see the real Joker sequel.

papal hotwife (milo z), Monday, 19 February 2024 01:45 (two days ago) link

Yeah, that sounds terrible. "Subversive" takes on superhero tripe are no better than superhero tripe, and frequently worse.

Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Monday, 19 February 2024 02:07 (two days ago) link

oh, yeah my vote was probably for the wrong Joker

Vinnie, Monday, 19 February 2024 02:16 (two days ago) link

vera drew is the editor of on cinema and i’m really excited to see that movie, and also you’re all dumb

ivy., Monday, 19 February 2024 04:40 (two days ago) link

Early press is great and tbh I will see the shit out of it

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Monday, 19 February 2024 04:43 (two days ago) link

Kevin O’Neill and Pat Mills is no better than Dan Jurgens and Dan Jurgens, it’s true

bae (sic), Monday, 19 February 2024 09:14 (two days ago) link

Yeah, People's Joker has had nothing but good hype from ppl I trust.

Daniel_Rf, Monday, 19 February 2024 09:47 (two days ago) link

it's really good, also ivy otm

soup of magpies (geoffreyess), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 02:52 (yesterday) link

The film also features Scott Aukerman,

i'm out

kurt schwitterz, Tuesday, 20 February 2024 17:58 (yesterday) link

"The Beatles: Sir Sam Mendes to direct four films - one about each band member"

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-68350477

rob, Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:05 (yesterday) link

Do KISS next

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:07 (yesterday) link

then the Grateful Dead

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:19 (yesterday) link

then stop when you get to Emerson, Lake & Palmer

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:30 (yesterday) link

The News VI: The Passion of Stef Burns

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:33 (yesterday) link

can't believe Sir Sam Mendes is going to make some bad, pointless films

wang mang band (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:37 (yesterday) link

xpost - let's dream bigger, The News franchise is just one small part of the extended WATWCU (We Are the World Cinematic Universe)

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:39 (yesterday) link

I'm thinking of Jay Duplass as Eric Clapton playing "Layla" for Patty Boyd (Sunny Sweeney) in the George Harrison (Timothy Chalamet) bio

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:43 (yesterday) link

Poshomon

omar little, Tuesday, 20 February 2024 19:45 (yesterday) link


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