Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

ok what's up today

working from home in the cold med zone

skinny dipping at night in a pond, that sounds like living to me

I've never been a big skinny dipper - but I'd be willing to try

Confession...

I've never swam in freshwater.

you know - it's really nice
I would try it

Confession...

I've never swam in freshwater.

Florida lakes and rivers are dangerous! Y'all got snakes too, and I can handle those, but you don't have flesh-eating bacteria. Maybe this explains the number of conservatives living in the Panhandle?

It's a "pond" in name only, technically a tidal marsh (so not freshwater). I've swam in it many times, including at night, but only recently discovered my strong preference for doing so without wearing shorts. The preserve technically closes at dusk but the gate is easily breached by anyone on foot, so it's a popular spot for teenagers to tag up the seawall and a couple of the abandoned buildings (and indeed, i passed a few on the way out). I'm not totally sure of this, but I think the 40 acre pond actually belongs to the private island. I've never seen anyone else swim in it, and of the laws I was breaking the only one that may be potentially kinda serious is trespassing.

fgti, congrats on the house/cottage! sounds like a good move

*passed a few young graffiti writers, not abandoned buildings lol

I get that about Florida— i still just find it surprising, but I also lived for a decade in a place where the ocean is barely swimmable except with a wetsuit or in extreme heat, whereas the lakes and rivers are simply lovely. Hell, I used to swim in a river nearly every day, for over a year. Just a different experience.

Yeah, exactly -- for me it's living 20 mins from the beach. Now, I never go to the beach in Miami -- that's for tourists.

I will say that swimming in the ocean is an absolute balm— I was jumping into the cove every chance I got this past August up in Maine

It's what I'll miss most about summers on the Gulf coast.

are you moving??

i prefer swimming in freshwater but almost never have the opportunity

I love freshwater swimming, but I’m always careful about my feet. Sharp rocks and things

My new lease was a VERY lucky score. The market is unbelievably competitive and picked over and we lucked out— or rather, the universe owes me and elected to start paying its debts this week

i love freshwater swimming! a few years ago my husband and i went on a western MA/VT road trip and our friend took us to this secluded pond that i think was technically in SW new hampshire, it was a warm humid weekday and we were the only ppl (+ dog) in this huge placid chilly pond. i dream about going back to it someday.

we went to the beach last weekend thinking it would be the last super-warm day to do so here. it was super nice but we chose a beach in malibu that had some pretty intense waves. many years ago at the jersey shore i was knocked unawares and pulled under by a massive wave towards the shore, i’m pretty sure that i would’ve drowned if i’d been underwater for even two seconds longer. to this day i have a love/fear relationship with the ocean lol

Yesterday was moving day, and I:

- gently threw out my back (it’s a quiet anger back there rather than a labour-ender)

- scrubbed the outgoing apartment’s floor too hard and tore open my fingerskin and it is infected

- realized that the bedroom of our cottage is impeded by a very steep stairwell and was required to dissemble bed and antique dresser, cart up the pieces, and reassemble them, which I handled myself in a pleasingly masc way

- suddenly hit a wall energy wise around 10pm and crashed, in my clothes, and slept for twelve hours

- predictably as we were waking up in a new place my bf woke up horny and I woke up sore and tired and I said “I can’t be both gay and exhausted, please try again later”

Vivid dreams last night, too. I dreamed about a lot of things and one of them was that I changed my DN to “my favourite “death to America” t-shirt” as my Thanksgiving tribute

Cross-posting Pumpkin spice has gone too far here since it is relevant

haha. no thanks to boutique poppers for me, pwd 4 life. i want them to smell like the back pages of a softcore mag from 1996.

I have never once thought sex would be enhanced by inhaling a Yankee Candle

“Get that gourd in me” lolol

not really a fan of the smell of regular poppers and i feel like additional synthetic odors would make it so much worse

“I can’t be both gay and exhausted, please try again later”

yeahhhh. today is the first day in two weeks i've felt energetic. it's always like an existential experience when i get a cold/flu now, and then i'm reborn at the end of it. have they always been like that?

my bar is unbelievably low when it comes to "i did some house chores today". i trampled the weeds down around the trailer and cut all the aspen stalks down and feel like i finally did something. our "yard" has been literally untouched since last year. except the front, that's what the hoa complains about.

Haha a couple of weeks ago we raked out tiny side yard and planted grass seeds and now that they’re sprouting in all “I’m an expert horticulturist now, all my fingers are green thumbs”

well yeah

so i'm chatting on and off with this guy on scruff, a few days into it he says we've met before and sends a closer-up version of his profile picture.

i tell him 'what can i say, it's raining men and i just can't distinguish one drop from another.'

lol that happened to me years ago. My fault too: I didn't recognize how he hadn't changed much in two years (the assignation sucked the second time too).

dear i'm not sure what you mean tbh.

after three weeks back on, i think i'm done with scruff.

Oh, just saying I didn't realize when I liked him on Hinge that we'd gone out before.

ahhh

and how is your dating life these days if you don't mind me asking?

at the moment i’m on scruff and grindr. on the former my profile is like “hey let’s chat and maybe meet up and if it leads to the boudoir then cool but friends are great too”; hardly anyone talks to me on it. the latter one is more like “yo let’s do sex stuff” and i get a lot more messages there lol. the people i’ve met on scruff tend to be more interesting generally, at least where I live - last night i hung out for the second time w/ a sweet bearish guy i met there who runs in similar circles as me and with whom i have some mutual acquaintances.

i am much too lazy to do dating apps— the fact that i never met anyone worth it in them only seals the deal for me. they’re useless

xp that sounds nice!

i feel like my dislike for slc really hinders my desire to be social in the gay scene here. the boys who are from here are all out to their mormon families who are "accepting" on the surface and they're involved with the siblings and nieces and nephews and blech i just don't relate. the people who have moved here - it's like, your reasons for doing so mean we probably won't get along. idk it's complicated.

i've hung out a few times with a friend i met here several years ago, who is from southern utah, he's an exception, really articulate and charming. one friendship i feel good about. he's monogomous with his current partner. my partner doesn't really relate to his partner. so i just get coffee with him on saturday mornings sometimes and a few weeks ago we went out dancing. i'm happy to keep it platonic. still not sure what "openness" looks like with my partner tbh, we're trying a few things. he has hangups, i have hangups. just trying to see what feels good.

Not in recent years, but I've met several boyfriends and good friends on dating websites/apps. No bad experiences to speak of.

and how is your dating life these days if you don't mind me asking?

― ꙮ (map),

I haven't been trying the last couple months after a decent late spring and early summer. I'm still learning how to navigate this pandemic world.

I'm like - post-date

no I'm really not but this idea is shocking to me of like - are you supposed to have a date BEFORE you hook up? something about it just feels sort of ridiculous

i tend to agree with that.

i had my first hookup in forever a few weeks ago with a guy who lives in the condo complex across the street from me. i went over there during his lunch break, first time meeting him and all that. a little nervous and awkward at first, then kinda fun, then nice to talk to him for a few minutes afterward. i genuinely look forward to the "talking for a few minutes afterward" part now, whereas i used to just want to get out of there. hookup sex is less urgent now, a little more of a chore than it used to be i think. exception is with my partner thankfully! connection and trust keeps it rich. still finding ways to let loose even more etc. maybe polyamory is about having that with multiple people? i don't think i could do that - i hardly have the time to keep everything that is currently in my life from falling out of the picture.

I do think it's a nice part of the experience too - depends on the chemistry obvioso

I just am ready to meet like a prince type - I've been seeing very Brooklyny guys which is great but I need an elevated moment

I don't think polyamory has to mean any one thing apart from having love with more than one person

i don't think i've ever made it with royalty! no royalty here as far as i can tell, just unctuous sons of provincial corporate tycoons. sounds dope tbh. my idea of royalty is like a dancer from old money or something.

hookup sex is less urgent now, a little more of a chore than it used to be i think.

This.

no I'm really not but this idea is shocking to me of like - are you supposed to have a date BEFORE you hook up? something about it just feels sort of ridiculous

― Swen,

I don't know if I'd call it a "date" but pre-pandemic and a couple times since we've met for a beer before a hookup -- especially if safety worries me.

omg a dancer from old money

well Alfred you're a very stand up guy

highest up the ladder i’ve gotten is a CFO i think

!!!! i want to hear that story

lol it happened the first time i visited LA. way back when i had a much stronger tolerance for alcohol than i do now, i went on a solo WeHo bar crawl since I’d never really been to the area before and also didn’t know very many people in town. i had one drink each at five different bars. at bar #5 a man who was drunker than i was started aggressively flirting with me, and, well, he was handsome so i yielded. he drove (😬) us to his house in Beverly Hills where we did the deed (twice!). right as i was about to drift off to sleep he asked me if I wouldn’t mind leaving because he had to catch a flight the next day and wanted to get a good night’s sleep. this was around 2am and i was living in the valley (ie far) at the time. he gave me a couple twenties for cab fare (this was pre-rideshare) after I told him where I lived and he sent me on my way - it wasn’t enough to cover the cab ride.

he shared a first and last name with a former US president. he also absolutely couldn’t remember my name and kept calling me “trouble”, like “ooh, you’re trouble.” obviously i never saw him again after that, and they all lived happily ever after.

lol that's great

I went out with a guy a couple times years ago who'd mumble "mmm you're trouble."

right here in river city