I'm Only Happy When It's Gay // LGBTTQQIAAP+ // Fall 2021

my kink of shame is that i bought a bunch of shorts and these weird little ball holsters from a lame gay-bro clothing company based in san diego called w00f clothing, and i still wear them to the gym. my cheeks are turning red just typing it haha.

I go home tomorrow and I'm excited to see my dude. It's been 24/7 with him for a while now bc pandemic. Physical distance has created imagined mental distance, I feel his absence.

I enjoy wearing speedos! I do not enjoy being naked in public. My speedos are black and from the Speedo/CDG collaboration.

i think marcos would look hella cute in a speedo tbh as well

― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Wednesday, March 2, 2022 3:01 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

<3 <3 <3

i dont even wanna talk about the underwear i wore for most of my twenties. like the cheapest square boxers from target lol. financial security and feeling more ***gay*** in my life now means i finally bought nicer underwear. i have these pale pink ck briefs on right now and i look good in them

My partner used to be a competitive swimmer and wears speedos, which I do not think I will ever be capabalenof doing

it took me a while to get there but whenever i was around a bunch of boys in speedos wearing a normal bathing suit i felt like a prude so i decided to switch over to the dark side... in mixed company (meaning a straight beach) i'd prob wear normal bathing suit. but as far as riis beach in new york, p town, fire island etc i like being among the horde of skimpy suits (or in p town, the horde of nudes). i believe alfred saw me wear a speedo when we were at the standard in miami beach but that's only bcuz my boyfriend's trunks got ruined so i let him wear mine thus leaving me w/ just a speedo

I lit a candle for you two at the Standard chapel.

i have a weird situation. so this guy, f, was friendly to me on ig and eventually came to a dj thing. he is close friends with my partner's work manager. he is also in an ltr. i had a friendly coffee date with f which turned into texting which got flirty, him initiating it. i asked if he was flirting, which seemed to make him anxious, but i told him it was welcome. i was communicating with my partner about it this whole time with the understanding that this sort of thing was fine (with no knowledge yet about f and his partner and where they are at), but he finally said he was uncomfortable because f is close with his manager at work. which is fine and very understandable and i'm supportive of that. so i've cooled off on texts and i'm sure f has picked up on it.

anyway, we had planned a couples dinner thing as friends. but now that feels awkward to follow up on.

i think i still want to be friends with f and i think that could still be possible but i'm unsure about where to go from here.

what do i communicate to f here? my partner doesn't want me to say to him that i stopped flirting because of the work manager, to leave him out of it. which, ok, i guess? this is strangely bewildering and i've taken a few days to try and think it over but could use some perspective.

anyway, we had planned a couples dinner thing as friends. but now that feels awkward to follow up on

to be clear, we had planned it, then they had to cancel, nothing rescheduled yet

I think maybe reschedule the couples dinner if possible and then try to thread the needle of friendly-but-not-flirty there so you're showing interest in spending time together but not interest in *wink wink, nudge nudge*?

Or, is there an avenue via DJing in which you could re-engage neutrally? I can't gauge from the story if he's a music nerd or not; if he is, maybe you can come up with some crate-digging type of question?

It's very odd trying to think of strategies to engage with someone that communicate that you are NOT flirting with them

haha right? I think my well-worn instinct is just to disengage altogether, part of me wants to try something different this time but i feel like it's going there anyway.

i think the issue with the couples dinner is that my partner feels like he's dragging his feet now but i need to check in with him about it. that's a good idea if we're both into it i think.

an activity that is low stakes and neutral is a good idea but i don't think he's really a big music guy. if something comes to mind i'll propose it though.

hi gay

stevie are you Posting Again???

lol I doubt it but I'm at least posting today

it's been a weird past several months for me but I think 2022 is being v good to me so far. my ex and I broke up last feb but have stayed close friends and prominent forces in each others lives, and then he started seeing someone in early dec which unleashed a whole slew of emotions, some anticipated and some not, and I realized that he was moving on and that I needed to move on too and that I was actually really lonely? like the whole year I had little desire to put any energy into like dating or hooking up but then it all hit at once and I was super depressed for like a month and a half, but I think it's p much gone now.

I went up to visit him in early jan (which we'd planned before he met his new boo) and it was... not the worst it could have been, but not really great either. but while I was there I met up with an internet pal of several years who I chatted with semi-regularly but had never met irl, we'd always been friendly but never actually flirty, and we uhhh reaaally hit it off wink wink nudge nudge (we fucked), there was like a really exciting chemistry and we've kept in touch and chatted almost daily and I'm actually going back to boston this weekend to stay w him for a few days and see this play he's in. I don't think I have the capacity for another like committed long distance thing but I really like whatever it is we're doing and hope we can continue it in its current state (though we will invariable have to have A Talk at some point, likely this weekend, to just to make sure we are on the same page so no one gets hurt)

I've also been going out more which has been really invigorating, I wound making out w 2 diff brand-new guys at the leather bar a few weeks ago (which is unheard of for me???) and one of them seems to be becoming/has become a new fwb, which is really really nice. we traded numbers and then got drinks a few days later (which turned into a hookup > sleepover > him making me breakfast), and then I invited him over for dinner last night. in addition to being an excellent fuck he's also like really affectionate and cuddly and intimate but w/o being like, emotionally clingy, which is honestly so perfect and wonderful and I feel like I've really lucked out. it's been several years since I've had any sort of reliable fwb/fuck buddy type situation, and I've been lamenting it recently so the timing is wonderful (I think I had sex with 1 person in all of 2021). we are planning a date to a brand-new massive h mart in the burbs and I could not be more thrilled.

also I've become better friends w this long-time acquaintance over the past 6-8 months or so after we went to honcho campout together, and him + me + a friend of his have become this little posse and we have been going to raves together, which is really fun and also kind of hilarious that I am entering a "rave phase" in my mid-30s. but it's nice to have a new group of friends outside of my normal friend circle who's down to do fun stuff. I also got invited to a week-long house share on fire island w them and said yes and it is SO weird and I have already had a whole existential crisis abt it but it will be such a new experience for me and I'm really looking forward to it

also also I'm going to LA for 10 days in april where I will see donna rouge, quincie, felicity redewll, and maybe make some new friends idk??? life is being kind to me and it's given me a little boost of confidence and I am really savoring it

stevie!

i'm going to LA next week, what are gay things to do?

marcos, how you holding up?

nice to hear all that stevie and that you're thriving and trying new things and people after the split.

marcos go to "ginger rogers" area of will rogers state beach in la for some sightseeing if you wish!

the l.a. thread peeps were great with recommendations for a trip we didn't end up taking last december.

err in santa monica not la

marcos go to "ginger rogers" area of will rogers state beach in la for some sightseeing if you wish!

yes this is the kind of thing i am looking for thank you!

although i feel like i will need a speedo

we order you to file a full report

stevie if this trip is anything like your last one then I am certain you will make tons of pals!

hi marcos! if yr into the gay bar scene, akbar and the eagle are in silver lake. weho has lots of bars as well but i don’t really go to any of them (for distance reasons mostly). if you were coming in two weeks I’d say come to the gay happy hour I’m DJing in highland park. and yes to ginger rogers too for fun and sun and speedos!

marcos you should go to the Museum of Jurassic Technology

Stevie, I have a number of friends who went through a mid-30s rave period. I think I just partied so hard from 18-32 that I don't have the stamina any more-- I don't even get to midnight on New Years Eve, tbh.

Also,.hi!

Yeah, my rave period started when I was 32 and was basically over when I was 38. Happy days. Well, happy weekends at least.

One of the happier periods of my life was dropping ecstasy every Friday for five months and dancing myself crazy. I learned a great deal about myself.

guys guess who I hung out with today!!!

not me!

extremely beloved former gaylxor elmo argonaut!!! we got brunch and went shopping and talked about boys and I convinced him to buy a copy of Samuel Delany’s TIMES SQUARE RED, TIMES SQUARE BLUE

aw elmo <3

ELMO

that beebs <3

and stevie!!!! honey I love that you're going out a bunch and healing. I've been there and you're doing the right thing. I've just now weirdly gotten to a stage in my life where I realize how much I love to dance. I need to go out dancing. I've been dominating a life situation for a number of months now so I'm sober as a judge but I have a nice stash on deck.

new thread to come in a day or two, just been slammed.

Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ love // A Thread for the Real Ones

PS I changed my username, let's not make a big deal about it I'll explain when necessary xxxoxox