Lucky for you, I got all these daddy issues: Queer Summer, 2021 (LGBTQQIAAP+++)

(can't beat flower for making music though)

I use a vape pen of a light sativa hybrid during the day and switch to straight hi-thc indica in the evening.

did i tell you guys about my crazy THC overdose situation early in the pandemic? last may i was having several nights straight of bad/no sleep and my husband suggested i try this THC oil that he had gotten from a dispensary. we both ended up taking some that night, the same dosage each, sublingually, except i'm a lightweight and i woke up in the middle of the night giggling my head off because i was SUPER stoned. like, higher than i'd ever been in my entire life probably. it was fun for about five minutes and then it swiftly became extremely not-fun. i kept having to get up to go to the bathroom (steadying myself along the wall as i went because i felt so woozy/disoriented) in order to drink water to counteract the dry mouth - like four or five glasses at a time, and then i'd feel parched again fifteen minutes later. i then somehow managed to convince myself that i'd choke on my own tongue if i fell asleep (???) and i started panicking. woke my husband up (he had none of these issues and fell asleep promptly) and i made him hold me and calm me down and then maybe after an hour or so i eventually fell asleep. good stuff!

anyway, w33d remains a once-in-a-while thing for me. been doing a lot of reading about vitamins/micronutrients lately. i've started taking magnesium glycinate pills before bed and i think they've helped with sleeping, plus i feel a lot less groggy in the morning when i take them.

the pandemic turned me into someone who had weed around but didn't use all that much all that often into someone who has a medical card, a vape pen, and several methods for smoking flower, including a bong shaped like a dick that Theo made me.

woke my husband up (he had none of these issues and fell asleep promptly) and i made him hold me and calm me down

awww this is what husbands are for lmao <3

and kitties tbqfh

had a bad day at work where my supervisor made a decision for me about some stupid nit-picky little thing that doesn't make any sense and said she was "pulling rank" :((((((

ew

who says that

clearly anyone who says she's pulling rank doesn't have much rank to pull. doesn't sound like a good human day for her.

DONNA - that is terrifying! i've had some horrible experiences involving too much weed but i don't think anything that bad. geez. you made it <3

my weed smoking hit its peak during the pandemic… spending like $400/m. then i quit for two months and now only smoke socially, don’t have it in the house. i still haven’t completely rewired my brain to not want it after a long day or on a rainy weekend afternoon but i get by

i will say I'm not sure it's done any wonders for my short term memory. have absolutely no idea why I walk from room to room half the time.

ugh i was having the best morning, y'all, and then i was about to go for my favorite bike ride and i had a flat— a pinprick puncture, very difficult to keep track of, and by the time I'd done everything I need to do, I didn't have time for the ride anymore.. :-(

― I'm a sovereign jizz citizen (the table is the table), Monday, October 25, 2021 12:20 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I got puncture-proof tires from Firehouse (above Satellite) and have never looked back. One's a Gatorskin and the other's some other brand I don't remember bcz I got them several years apart but I've had the Gatorskin for like 5 years without a single flat. They're pricey but worth it in the long term imo.

gay sex is gonna be in my life this year, after about 20 years. been talking out non-monogamy w/ my partner over the pandemic and it's going really well. i'm so excited tbh. when i was last with guys i was a teenager and i didn't know who the fuck i was, sexually, emotionally, in any regard really lol

look at you!

i know! i am proud tbh. i want it all

I know it isn’t for everyone, but I heartily endorse exploring non-monogamy! It’s improved many aspects of my life in the five years I’ve been practicing it. My pandemic would have been so much worse without my metamour in the picture!

Oh, metamouuuurrrrrr
Expanded my heart
now I'm achin' for youuuuu

LOVE these posts. marcos that's so exciting!! nicole how wonderful <3 yay options!

We've been happily non-monogamous since 1985, with very few problems along the way (I mean, there's always scope to act like a dick, and sometimes that's inevitably happened on both sides, but with no lasting damage done, and the good times have vastly outnumbered the bad). The same level of trust is required as for monogamy: instead of trusting that he'll never stray, you trust him to always return. Full disclosure on both sides; prior disclosure to any potential third parties; and them's all the rules we've needed.

That said, I reached the point about eight years ago where hook-ups were no longer for me, and so I stopped. The last time it properly happened, I had a moment of clarity halfway through, and that was that. Meanwhile, his activities have now mostly reduced to a long-time shag buddy in another part of the country. So there's been an arc.

had a bad day at work where my supervisor made a decision for me about some stupid nit-picky little thing that doesn't make any sense and said she was "pulling rank" :((((((

― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Tuesday, October 26, 2021 12:45 AM (eighteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol that i blurted this out on this thread, but we talked about it and cleared the air.

on the non-monogomy subject, i've been talking with my boyfriend about opening things up. we played with a third once in the summer, but my boyfriend wasn't that into the guy, and the guy ended up becoming too demanding, so i guess our first foray wasn't successful. i've always liked dark rooms and cruising and that sort of thing, and my boyfriend isn't necessarily opposed to that, but i'm honestly not sure what i want. we're going to try a couple scruff profile - that way we can block the ex and look for chemistry and so forth.

Full disclosure on both sides; prior disclosure to any potential third parties;

^^this is def necessary if you're gonna be open. we had a long talk about it at first where we laid down ground rules (friends are off-limits, if we do anything with anyone we tell the other person no matter what, etc), even bought a book to guide us through the process. our openness has evolved as time has gone on; at first we were doing things with other people whenever, but right now we're at a stage where we only do things with other people if one of us is out of town. having said that, i quit using hook-up apps even before COVID struck, haven't rejoined and don't particularly want to. (i did have a finsta for a spell but have since deleted that too.)

I'm glad that hook-up apps weren't around in my heyday; they're not for me. I had Grindr for about a year, 2010 to 2011, but mostly used it to chat to my friends. It did come in useful while I was working in Manila for six weeks, when the only other social alternative was visiting the same ex-pat sports bar with my colleagues night after night. My best hook-up from that time is still a friend to this day, and he's stayed with us a few times.

We've been with friends! Hasn't been a problem!

We've had hook-ups here and there and had a regular third with a friend for a while, but nothing in a long time. I think if Covid hadn't happened, we'd probably have had a more recent conversation about opening things up, though we're still technically open. Tbh, I just really want to suck dick more often! But I'm fine with waiting, too.

Fwiw, we were friends with that regular third, and while I wouldn't say we're "not friends," let's just say that they tested our boundaries in a way that pissed us off, and we won't be inviting them back to bed any longer

part of our issue with opening things up is where we live. my boyfriend has lived in salt lake city for a long time and let's just say he has a history with a lot of guys here, lol (it is truly a small town). his last partner was super dishonest but they were playing around with a more visible cohort of play-around types who he feels were also disrespectful. i feel like both of us would loosen up a little bit if we could turn over a new leaf somewhere else. thankfully we mesh as far as what we want from play, except he is more cautious about protection than i am (understandable considering positions iykwim), but we already have some agreements about disclosure and testing etc.

typing all this out is making me think that we might want to revisit the discussion and focus less on play-together, more on play-apart, since we have different needs, histories and comfort levels. but he's a voyeur and i'm an exhibitionist, so if we can find something that works together, it would be fun for both of us.

my previous bf and i were open & it worked great bcuz he was traveling to DJ a lot or playing late in nyc & staying out all night etc, we had a lot of time apart where seeing other ppl made sense and was clean & easy. (mostly, anyway -- i had a lot of fun w/ one guy for a while but eventually he wanted more out of me than i could give.) tho it did eventually trigger our (much needed) break up (my ex met a guy in europe he thought he could be with & that did not end up being the case) it did, for the last year plus of our relationship, relieve a lot of latent tension and bring us closer together. (we're still very close friends, probably closer in a lot of ways than we were as partners.) i'd like to be non-monogamous to some degree in my current relationship but our social lives are much more intertwined and i'm not sure what i would want, or what would make sense, given that we rarely spend nights apart, neither of us regularly travels w/o the other etc. i don't think i want to be on apps & stuff like that, but i would like to enjoy the scent of another pair of balls, basically. we did have an aborted threesome in ptown this summer because the third took too much K and passed out in our bed, but i'm not sure i'd want to become a threesome couple. but maybe i would! i guess i've never tried it, perhaps it's a path forward

lol at "threesome couple." there is a funny power dynamic to that arrangement, isn't there? is it a cliche? i'm so unfamiliar with whatever the standard-issue open relationship arrangements are, haha. sometimes i feel a little bit weird about how uhh object-oriented i am when it comes to playing around. but i guess it's not that weird if my emotional needs are met in a primary relationship? and there are plenty of guys out there who enjoy being objectified i guess.

i have this fantasy of getting to know some other men through sex and then just being friends or even just smile-and-hug-on-the-street friends.

sometimes i wonder about just keeping things closed - that can have a really hot element to it. and if it's more of a bother than a stimulation opening things up in the first place, it would make sense. but i definitely have the itch for some variety. and sorry to go there, but let's just say there are two votes itt already for one of the activities i like to be on the other end of, lol. my boyfriend has a very small mouth - though he does an admirable job with what he has! - and that's probably the thing i would most like more of.

more small mouths?

we had a lot of time apart where seeing other ppl made sense and was clean & easy

i have this fantasy of getting to know some other men through sex and then just being friends or even just smile-and-hug-on-the-street friends.

One of the joys of the gay life. I still talk to tricks and ex's from two decades ago.

I have definitely stayed friends with a number of former flings and exes. I also hate-follow a few of them, one guy in particular is the most annoying type to me: US expat into leather and sex culture in Berlin, makes so called "art" related to leather and sex culture, clearly works out a fair amount. He was fun when we were in an orgy together but Christ he's such a cliché, it makes me embarrassed.

such a wide array of experiences! i never fully realized how open my x and i were (wouldn't need to tell the other, friends not excluded...)

sometimes i look around and get really judgy about it, and then realize i'm not in an entirely different boat. i think judginess in the gay community can strongly mimic the way girls judge and are mean to one another, which is its own issue and something i'm trying to watch out for. don't want to be like that, or get embittered like that etc.

and of course, all of this with a grain of salt since my relationship is no longer. anyways, i'll be conjuring up a fall thread title shortly but talk amongst yourselves until then!

I'm Only Happy When It's Gay // LGBTTQQIAAP+ // Fall 2021

i have this fantasy of getting to know some other men through sex and then just being friends or even just smile-and-hug-on-the-street friends.
― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Tuesday, 26 October 2021

In the meantime you can disabuse yourself of sex and treat this existential problem by reading all 1200 pages of Juliette. No shirking when it gets too sadistic!