start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

The secret is ... there are actually *three* parts! The spout part, the neck that screws/attaches onto the bottle, but then a *third* independent part, a ring between the spout part and the neck. When you twist the spout part, you have to make sure the neck (the bottom part) is totally immobilized, otherwise the ring in the middle rotates, too. At least, that's how it was successfully explained to me on the internet.

My entire life is beset with problems like this. I assume it's a punishment (and my innate clumsiness).

the water came back on btw. my insane landlord who lives in the building (and is pushing us to borrow money from family to try to start looking to buy a co-op so maybe it's a good thing) was pacing and screaming on his phone to the plumber in the hallway for hours. what a nutjob.

when two decisions need to be made, the second relies on the first, the second person makes their decision but requires the first person to make theirs, and the first person is unreachable for 8 hours, reading messages, but not replying to them.

i can't stand being on the phone. i literally hate it. even if i use speakerphone I'm basically enslaved to the room I'm in, all I can think about is "when will this be over?", and then anybody else who is trying to get my attention, I get overwhelmed if I have too much competing stimuli.

literally talking to a friend at work who has a neighbor who is doing loud construction and it's stressing me out trying to hear over it, while someone else is trying to msg me for stuff, and I know I have to make another call right after, and then eat lunch.

I get the benefits of the phone but loooord I've moved beyond it.

I totally get this

for any conversation that is going to last more than a minute or 2 I have to be moving—either walking or driving somewhere. I will return calls when having to run an errand somewhere, I'll start dialing as soon as I get into my car or heading out on foot

i just got another request for a call and had to ask "can we please just do this on MS Teams, I've been on the phone for two and a half fucking hours with meetings"

Yeah, calls are stressful. I find it pretty hard to speak naturally on work calls with people I don't know. I feel like all the air has gone out of my lungs, and I can only just stumble through and hope that I don't sound completely bizarre or robotic.

I think it's my normal social anxiety exacerbated by the absence of visual cues.

I really don’t mind being on the phone, I just feel impatient w/ it if I’m not getting something else done simultaneously

I've been working on a google docs file recently and the other night when I opened docs instead of saying "last opened a week ago" or "last opened yesterday" it said "you usually open this file around this time" - FUCK YOU GOOGLE DOCS YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

I've always hated using the phone. I think it dates back to when I was a teen and there was a craze at school for prank calls: our phone was in the kitchen, so my mother was witness to my humiliation. I'm 50 now and thought of calling eg my father can hang over me for days.

"clean food"

I don't even understand what appeals to people about this. And it's invariably something super-processed.

there's a term for Pension called "Qualified Pre-retirement survivor annuity", which is legally abbreviated as QPSA. we just kind of pronounce it "kwip suh" for ease.

one of my colleagues is training and keeps saying it "Kwa spuh" and it's driving me nuts because that doesn't even make sense, the S comes after the P, not before.

like it's a dumb thing to be annoyed by but I took my headset off cos it was making my blood pressure rise at the ILLOGICAL NATURE OF IT

I know targeted ads are an age old complaint, but about a month ago we started researching new mattresses and my wife and I were sending each other links and reviews, etc, so of course every app I use gets bombarded with targeted mattress ads. Which, whatever, but I find myself wanting to scream at my phone, "not so smart with the targeting are you? we already picked and bought one".

I love when you get spammed by the company you just bought a mattress from, as if you might be receptive to buying additional queen sized mattresses for all the other bedrooms in your apartment

god help you if you buy one medical splint ever; corporate america thinks you are in permanent recovery forever

i played a Manowar cd, and not FB is suggesting ways that I can conquer the neighbors in adjoining apartments and annex their units

lol Neanderthal

scream at my phone, "not so smart with the targeting are you? we already picked and bought one"

I take the opposite view: I find it comforting that they don't already know that I've already bought a blender or whatever. Gives me hope that I stilll have a smidgen of privacy.

The truly evil thing would be if marketeers were fully integrated with your banking transactions, the details of all your purchases, and with all internet-connected IoT devices.

Then the ads would all be like, "Hey madpuffin, how about some accessories for your new Oster Blendomaticizer 3000 in cherry red, which would also nicely coordinate with your 2009 Sunbeam Toastermatic. Also, your toilet told me to tell you that your toothbrush is getting old."

I take the opposite view: I find it comforting that they don't already know that I've already bought a blender or whatever. Gives me hope that I stilll have a smidgen of privacy.

This is a good point!

of course that is what they want you to think.

what the blenders want you to think at least

I can only tell you that the fucking things absolutely do nothing for whiskey, despite what the labels say

There's a guy across the street that owns three cars. He and his family are nice; I've got no problem with him. Owning three cars is dumb, but I've got no real problem with that. He's only got a two car garage, so at least one of his cars is parked on the street all the time, even overnight, which is also kind of dumb, but I've got no problem with that, either. The car that's usually parked out front his his nicest car, a luxury car, but I've got no problem with that. What makes me IR is that at some point a couple of years ago that nice car got slapped with one of those super hard to remove giant stickers in the driver's side window (typically for parking where you shouldn't park, often in someone else's permitted space). Fine, that's his problem. Except for all these years now the sticker has been basically only 80% removed, like he got it mostly done but then just ... gave up. And every time I look out the window I see his car, with the driver's side facing my house, and the 20% remains of the sticker and its gluey residue glaringly present on his driver's side window and ... man, why don't you just finish the job and scrub it off!!!!!!???!! Just do it! Or, hell, you have the money, the time, a big family - make someone else do it! But why remove just 80% and leave the rest of the sticker scum ??!

New toaster has a setting specifically for bagels. I tried it out today on a three-day-old bagel and discovered that this setting only toasts the cut side, not the other side, so my bagel looked done but was still stale and tough when I took a bite. Clearly they designed this to work only on fresh bagels. Given that most of the point of toasters is to give stale bread a longer lifespan, why would you design a feature that only works on fresh bread?

Wait now hang on the point of a toaster is not to be relegated thusly

Toast Poll

I hit the "bagel" button on my toaster most of the time when I mean to hit the "cancel" button because "cancel" lights up during the toasting process, implying in my mind that something is already happening there and I need to push the other one.

why do ppl want one side of their bagel cold, is my question

can't think what the wording of what I thought was a well knownquote on how you pick your represenative so taht I can search engine it. Think it's a late 60s era statement about how you'll never get an absolutely perfect hero on white horse and shouldn't really be lookingf for one.But you can pick someone who you can actually fight/negotiate into a workable situation for the time of their representative office.
buggng me cos I thought it was a good summation of teh situation when i heard it.

xp
I guess if you have a fresh chewy bagel and just want to put a crisp toasted edge on it without losing the freshness, it makes sense? Seems like a bit of a niche market, though; I bet there are more people out there trying to make stale bagels palatable than there are trying to put a perfect toasted finish on a bakery-fresh bagel. (The more words I write here, the more unappetizing bagels sound tbh.)

Now I want a bagel.

otm

I wonder if Josh is suppressing all of the very rational reasons to be annoyed by this guy and they're all coming out on the sticker

Nah, there's nothing annoying about them. They're good people and good neighbors. It's just the sticker!

Owning three cars is dumb, but I've got no real problem with that. He's only got a two car garage, so at least one of his cars is parked on the street all the time, even overnight, which is also kind of dumb, but I've got no problem with that, either. The car that's usually parked out front his his nicest car, a luxury car, but I've got no problem with that.

methinks the Josh doth protest too little

food is such a nightmare

the toaster is really hot inside, it gets both sides warm but it toasts the cut side

never had a fresh bagel

signed, dude who only lived in a city for a few years

I guess I’ve been to NOAH’s BAGELS before but never noticed a measurably more pleasing bagel bottom than store bought

please fp that post for “bagel bottoms”

lol I am so bad at reading posts, I need to eat something ;_;

bagel bottom memes
boots with the fur

Out on the road today
Josh saw the partial remains of a parking violation sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside Josh's head
Said don't look back
You can never look back

Heh, it would be funny if it was a Cadillac. All the other stuff, like objecting to someone having three cars or leaving them out all the time, is more or less rational. It's the sticker residue ire that's irrational. Especially since it's a fancy car. Clean that shit up, neighbor! You're so close!

There's the remains of a sticker
On your Cadillac tonight
You don't know how desperate I am for it to be gone
And it looks like I'm losing this fight

Now I kinda want to know what brand of car is because rhyming "Lexus" is a totally different ballgame from rhyming "Mercedes-Benz" or "Infiniti" or whatever.

This is how you remind me

Stickerback

Out on the road today
I saw an Acura with some residue
A little voice inside my head said whatcha gonna do
Get some Goof-Off and a razor blade
Maybe Goo-Gone, you'll have it made
Thought I knew what love was
Etc.

It's a four-door Tesla. Looks like it's not there right now, but when he comes back I can take a picture.

Oh that explains it, if you remove the sticker on those it invalidates the warranty