Toast Poll

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I was making toast and waiting for it to cool so I could spread the butter on without it melting and I thought 'I wonder how ILX feels about this tactic' and I thought 'It's hardly worth a poll' immediately followed by a realisation that I Love Toast a lot more than I Love Music and they'll poll any ole shite without a care.

So, toast?

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Butter while hot (real butter, white bread, toast that shit just golden, yeeeahhh) 34
Some other configuration (note: wrong) 9
Butter while hot (real butter, white bread, toast that shit dark) 5
Butter while cold (real butter, white bread, I don't really care how much it's toasted as long as you're not pulling th 2
Butter while hot (real butter, white bread, toast that shit hardly any, I'm talkin threaten each side of the slice with 1


CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:15 (ten years ago) link

yeah i got bored even just typing it out but face it anything other than the cold option is a red herring, deal

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:16 (ten years ago) link

voting "while hot, golden" but i'm not hardline about white bread tbh

i find slathering more butter on top deals with the melting ish

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:18 (ten years ago) link

yes yes but i mean that's hardly just a toast issue and i haven't all day man

note i have all day obv i mean look at the poll i just started

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:21 (ten years ago) link

i was gonna start a poll about "do you prefer to read the book first or see the film first" so i'm feeling you on these key issues

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:21 (ten years ago) link

not a big fan of cold toast i've got to admit

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:22 (ten years ago) link

feel free, i suppose, to elaborate on yr alternatives to white bread or to introduce a finer grading system of carbon crusting or temperature w/e below the line, once i have the headline censored idgaf really

i will be requesting a threadban for anyone protesting butter tho, fair warning. arsheesh notm.

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:23 (ten years ago) link

xp ya but i took today off to code an array of 10,000 non-repeating numbers and suchlike

but, and this is v much a blue saturday xover i think, the thought of writing a simple but useless program that does the same thing as the other twenty ppl in the class that will not in any way approach an already-existing most efficient way of solving this non-problem let alone address the inherent ridiculousness of repetition by humans of these simple logical steps when we invented the alu to do just this type of thing well i mean i just spent the morning making toast

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:26 (ten years ago) link

i vex my lecturers in class discussions and have incited more than one revolt form nothing but sheer malevolent whimsy

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:26 (ten years ago) link

dude that is one of the key things that makes me give up learning programming right at the start even tho i think it wd be fun

also i am having toast when i get home

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:27 (ten years ago) link

ok well let us know

ps it is fun but yknow this is a task with a set deadline and well you know

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:30 (ten years ago) link

I voted wrong! I meant to choose Butter while hot (real butter, white bread, toast that shit just golden, yeeeahhh)but I hit the first option instead. Just saying in case it's a close call.

Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:31 (ten years ago) link

"golden" is definitely the optimum toasting level, maybe a decent wholemeal/granary can't achieve said colour but i think it can reach the same level

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:32 (ten years ago) link

hot, golden, yeeeahhh

set the trolls for the heart of the sun (how's life), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:34 (ten years ago) link

ha ok who's fb friends with me cos that wording now looks less than unintentional one a couple of levels

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 13:37 (ten years ago) link

Man, I think I am the polar opposite to you on this toast issue. Butter while hot - some kind of margarine type spread - brown bread - toast dark.

emil.y, Tuesday, 4 March 2014 14:19 (ten years ago) link

Also Marmite.

emil.y, Tuesday, 4 March 2014 14:20 (ten years ago) link

Have never had toast

Fuck that white people shit

, Tuesday, 4 March 2014 14:22 (ten years ago) link

takes all sort emil.y, all sorts of depraved and evil types obv but nevertheless

shit did i forget to put the 'wites only' tag on this thread? shit, can't reasonably call jjj to do a threadban based on race can i

can i?

might mail him.

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 14:31 (ten years ago) link

Using a toaster is way overrated. Soften the butter, butter the cold bread, grill it in a pan on the stove. Bread gets hotter and you've got better brownness control.

I can't turn my heart into a nabkin dispender. (WilliamC), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 14:41 (ten years ago) link

when americans say 'grill' i dont know what they mean but it surely cant be grill

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 14:59 (ten years ago) link

makes u wonder what else hilarious or confusing misunderstandings you could have online with americans, rly

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 14:59 (ten years ago) link

it's almost as if there were two nations divided by a common tongue - Bob Marley

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:01 (ten years ago) link

For whatever reason, there are times when you just can't go out back to grill. It's these times when you need to know the basics of broiling in your oven. There are similarities and differences that can make your broiling successful. Many recipes give instructions on the use of a broiler as an alternative to grilling, but they just don't explain the fundamental differences that you need to know.

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:03 (ten years ago) link

^ no fuck it repeal whatever and invade these sick fucks all over again, we'll help this time

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:04 (ten years ago) link

'broil' has the ring of a word invented when a small colony of ppl arrive ashore and they person they consult on matters linguistic if doubt arises is a chancer of the highest order

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:05 (ten years ago) link

to be honest, I have never known what to call it when I melt butter on bread in a pan, but it's not the same thing as toast.

set the trolls for the heart of the sun (how's life), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:06 (ten years ago) link

it's FRY ffs FRY you are FRYING that's a TIP

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:06 (ten years ago) link

i feel like i'm talking to crazy ppl here but i mean it's calming me to realise that i am in fact talking to crazy ppl

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:07 (ten years ago) link

well, we didn't all go to fancy cooking school like you.

set the trolls for the heart of the sun (how's life), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:07 (ten years ago) link

"grill" as in "grilled cheese sandwich," i.e., butter side down in a hot flat pan. OK, frying.

I can't turn my heart into a nabkin dispender. (WilliamC), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:10 (ten years ago) link

yeah, I just didn't think it was frying if you applied it to bread.

set the trolls for the heart of the sun (how's life), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:10 (ten years ago) link

is that a grammatical or a culinary rule, and either way why on earth

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:11 (ten years ago) link

no wonder my broiled steaks are turning out less than great

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:11 (ten years ago) link

So you can't makes toast OR steaks right? Dang, son.

I can't turn my heart into a nabkin dispender. (WilliamC), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:17 (ten years ago) link

Wait, my mind is being blown... a grilled cheese sandwich is actually fried?

emil.y, Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:30 (ten years ago) link

i had figured this out somewhat after numerous HOOSian updates but i think that i recoiled from full implications, yknow?

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:40 (ten years ago) link

and may god have mercy on my soul

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJmKStqugMc

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:44 (ten years ago) link

I eat toast dry.

Jeff, Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:45 (ten years ago) link

you have yr option, feel free to use it and by god dont let sunset see you in this thread or else

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:53 (ten years ago) link

Wait, my mind is being blown... a grilled cheese sandwich is actually fried?

first found this out when looking up grilled cheese recipes and yeah my mind went moebius too

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:55 (ten years ago) link

currently dipping warm buttery toast into a bowl of Scotch Broth btw

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 15:56 (ten years ago) link

ya i'll gonna have another slice i think

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:04 (ten years ago) link

onto the hot cross buns now

I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:05 (ten years ago) link

butter on hot golden toast

anything else is incomprehensible to me

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:08 (ten years ago) link

butter while hot - but spread sparingly, toasted to golden or slightly darker

every time you sneer at "white boys with guitars" a Ramone dies (onimo), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:18 (ten years ago) link

a grilled cheese sandwich is actually fried?

haha what

Andreass Twerckmeister (wins), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:38 (ten years ago) link

The weird thing is that grilling as in actually grilling with a grill is a good way to make toast

Andreass Twerckmeister (wins), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:42 (ten years ago) link

How do you make yours? xp

I can't turn my heart into a nabkin dispender. (WilliamC), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 16:42 (ten years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 6 March 2014 00:01 (ten years ago) link

Acceptable

CSI BONO (darraghmac), Thursday, 6 March 2014 00:03 (ten years ago) link

three months pass...

I just searched for a thread on toast cos I had toast and idnr starting this

I did FP a few posts again tho

Jesus tho, toast, eh

do u like green ez & jam (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 June 2014 22:37 (nine years ago) link

idg the white-bread haters itt -- what do you sop up your bbq sauce with? also, a pan de mie fresh out of the oven is a lovely thing.

Van Spleef & R. Kellz (get bent), Sunday, 29 June 2014 22:53 (nine years ago) link

pain de mie even.

Van Spleef & R. Kellz (get bent), Sunday, 29 June 2014 22:54 (nine years ago) link

Just received notice my FP count went up by one

, Sunday, 29 June 2014 23:16 (nine years ago) link

my conscience is clear

do u like green ez & jam (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 June 2014 23:30 (nine years ago) link

five months pass...

The Guardian weighs in...

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/09/how-to-eat-toast

salsa shark, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 14:08 (nine years ago) link

I don't know for sure but if Irish white bread is similar to what in Scotland is called 'plain bread' then DM's enthusiasm for it is entirely justified.

Letsby Avenue (Tom D.), Tuesday, 9 December 2014 15:25 (nine years ago) link

Just had some now, without butter, with parfait and salt and pepper

cardamon, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 15:36 (nine years ago) link

I'm enjoying this because now I'm the dark horse of the thread and I've never, ever been the dark horse of an ILX thread before

cardamon, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 15:36 (nine years ago) link

ugh, tony naylor, how, why

lex pretend, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 15:40 (nine years ago) link

'broil' has the ring of a word invented when a small colony of ppl arrive ashore and they person they consult on matters linguistic if doubt arises is a chancer of the highest order

― CSI BONO (darraghmac), Tuesday, March 4, 2014 3:05 PM (9 months ago)

dmac's most important contribution to ilx

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 9 December 2014 15:51 (nine years ago) link

Cold toast? "So the butter doesn't melt"?? What's the point of any of that.

Je55e, Wednesday, 10 December 2014 15:28 (nine years ago) link

so help me je55e I'm doing p well avoiding ilx but don't test me

local eire man (darraghmac), Wednesday, 10 December 2014 17:09 (nine years ago) link

that right there is a really big article about toast

The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Wednesday, 10 December 2014 17:18 (nine years ago) link

one year passes...

http://veggies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/warb_fruit_orange.jpg

this is nice toasted & buttered

racket from the coombes (wins), Saturday, 12 December 2015 11:39 (eight years ago) link

Y

MONKEY had been BUMMED by the GHOST of the late prancing paedophile (darraghmac), Saturday, 12 December 2015 11:51 (eight years ago) link

It is but their bread is garbage as a rule.

Anyway, it's not a three, it's a yogh. (Tom D.), Saturday, 12 December 2015 11:53 (eight years ago) link

bread is so-so, fruit loaf is hell y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_Gry91znr8 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 December 2015 12:04 (eight years ago) link

got to stay off these threads, it's pissing down outside and i am not decocooning no matter how much my taste buds want stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_Gry91znr8 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 December 2015 12:06 (eight years ago) link

It is but their bread is garbage as a rule.

― Anyway, it's not a three, it's a yogh. (Tom D.), Saturday, December 12, 2015 11:53 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it was actually the co-op equivalent that prompted my post but the only image I could find was lol tiny

racket from the coombes (wins), Saturday, 12 December 2015 12:08 (eight years ago) link

six months pass...
seven months pass...

m&s high bran bread, avocado oil spread in place of butter: turns out not even a health kick can ruin toast

wins, Monday, 27 February 2017 19:43 (seven years ago) link

Cold toast? "So the butter doesn't melt"?? What's the point of any of that.

― Je55e, Wednesday, December 10, 2014 3:28 PM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^this is an otm post btw and it's kinda amazing how much time passed before anyone commented on this absolute lunacy

wins, Monday, 27 February 2017 19:47 (seven years ago) link

bc its dmac taking the piss

its like pouring the milk then the cereal

F♯ A♯ (∞), Monday, 27 February 2017 19:54 (seven years ago) link

i believe i countered it with my first post tbh

mock you like a Turrican (Noodle Vague), Monday, 27 February 2017 19:56 (seven years ago) link

i am so having marmite and toast for supper

mock you like a Turrican (Noodle Vague), Monday, 27 February 2017 19:57 (seven years ago) link

NB: the main reason supermarket white bread from a commercial bakery toasts up such an even golden brown is that it is formulated with a higher sugar content which helps increase its shelf life. Toasting, for example, a traditional baguette just cannot compete in that department. Different beasts.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 27 February 2017 20:06 (seven years ago) link

used to love lightly toasted slices of baguette when I was a kid

wins, Monday, 27 February 2017 20:10 (seven years ago) link

But, despite tasting delicious, I'm pretty sure those baguette slices never achieved a perfectly even golden brown.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 27 February 2017 20:15 (seven years ago) link

Oh yeah you're right

Fuckit having more toast

wins, Monday, 27 February 2017 20:29 (seven years ago) link

toasters seem like they are a lot shittier now

like the bread browns too fast & the insides just steam so the toast gets soft right away when you spread butter etc... but if you turn up the heat it burns

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 27 February 2017 20:32 (seven years ago) link

yeah, plus my toaster doesn't even fit a full slice of most loaves - i know the obvious solution but i'm not made of money

mock you like a Turrican (Noodle Vague), Monday, 27 February 2017 20:35 (seven years ago) link

My insistence on cooling the toast so that the butter doesn't melt in is sincere and one of my only irl foibles

I make a triangle of the slices to cool them the quicker.

It's because uniformity of butter or any comestible lubricant is not just boring but an actual travesty. Getting more than the fair share of the heartstopping stuff in any given bite is like a second Sunday in the week.

Not to mention that to make the toast soggy by melting yr butter on the hot surface is a desperate choice. Be reassured that I find your decision to do so as wrongheaded as you seem to view my methods, but I forego the self-indulgent urge to label you pisstakers on the back of it. For shame.

The Perks of Being a Wall St R (darraghmac), Monday, 27 February 2017 23:34 (seven years ago) link

staggering tbh

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 28 February 2017 00:01 (seven years ago) link

xp

does cold toast vs dmac using nuclear butter look like hiroshima post a-bomb

F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 28 February 2017 00:04 (seven years ago) link

Cold toast is more like t-bomb tbrwu

The Perks of Being a Wall St R (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 February 2017 07:45 (seven years ago) link

I'm glad we finally talked more about this. For the past 2 years I've pondered the question of dmac's cold toast pretty much every time I've eaten toast.

Je55e, Tuesday, 28 February 2017 13:36 (seven years ago) link

My mum goes the cold toast route. It's inhumane, in my opinion.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 28 February 2017 13:40 (seven years ago) link

This is the hill of beans I'll die on, no bother

The Perks of Being a Wall St R (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 February 2017 15:06 (seven years ago) link

does it get toasty up there

F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 28 February 2017 18:10 (seven years ago) link

i don't eat cold toast but i generally let it sit for about 30 seconds in the toaster so it's not quite piping hot either - also if you transfer directly to a flat surface it gets soggy (which i guess everyone knows hence the existence of toast racks)

Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 28 February 2017 18:14 (seven years ago) link

three years pass...

I thought 'It's hardly worth a poll' immediately followed by a realisation that I Love Toast a lot more than I Love Music and they'll poll any ole shite without a care.

this was the real motivation ftp

BSC Joan Baez (darraghmac), Sunday, 8 March 2020 01:03 (four years ago) link

wheat bread

brimstead, Sunday, 8 March 2020 01:54 (four years ago) link

Taking “sides”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJmKStqugMc

vs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8HoEvDh70Y

breastcrawl, Sunday, 8 March 2020 01:56 (four years ago) link

Is "grilled bread" simply toast?

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 8 March 2020 02:44 (four years ago) link

I dread to imagine what else it could be

Dunty Reggae party 🎉 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 March 2020 05:10 (four years ago) link

reanimated bread

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 8 March 2020 05:34 (four years ago) link


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