I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

ITT we study the ways of our dear friend The Contrition Bear

bear say go in peace to me

https://media2.giphy.com/media/4iV6quWypxgcg/source.gif

Wild

oh contritionpaws

Contrition bear and his counterpart gigglepanda

I take it Will Jigglepandas is the Christopher Robin of the contrition bear mythos.

I always picture a little ursine figure frantically disco-dancing in his room when the Bee Gees sing "It's hard to bear..."

(the pathos of my imagery leaves the thread mute)

(bear thread left threadbare)

Tears pooling into ursine wells

@ Neanderthal - the "dawnzer" scene in whatever Ramona book is such a great evocation of childhood confusion about things.

Lol yes. I loved Ramona

Paws for contemplation

That made me snort in the car then I had to get into a whole a I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY IT'S FUNNY thing with my wife.

Contrition Bear also reminding me of Billy Connolly being confused at hymn practice when they sang about "Gladly the cross-eyed bear"

then I had to get into a whole a I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY IT'S FUNNY thing with my wife.

This happens to me all the time.

The idea of hymn practice is amusing me rn.

Ach theres no new jokes only them deployed again right

Billy reading robbie burns came up last night when i was drifting off, oh it was nice

reminds me of those terrible middle school days, when everyone always exploded in laughter when the teacher said some the word "dry", or "wet", or "hard", or "soft", and i didn't have any clue why anyone was laughing. except, imagine if back then a friend could text you and be like "dude, it's dry vaginas and hard penises, dude"

in grade 4 my teacher got exasperated with everyone saying "just a sec! just a sec!" when she asked us to come to the round table. She stood up and yelled "NO MORE SECS!" and it was the best day of the year, even she was laughing

We had a big highlight one day when someone mentioned cats and the (redheaded) English teacher told us she had a "big ginger pussy" - looking back it probably wasn't the hysterical and unintentional slip we thought it was.

mrs_slocombe.jpg

.jpg

Tears pooling into ursine wells

― Ole Blueyes Solskjaer (darraghmac), Monday, January 11, 2021 4:28 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

F for Flag

God, the one that will always get me was when we learned how to make a salad in home ec in 7th grade, and our teacher— a 6'2" woman with immense hair who wore too much make-up named Mrs. Hazeltine— kept on going on and on about "this is how you toss a salad, toss the salad gently and with a lot of care" and it just became this thing where the boys would ask every week if we were going to be tossing salads in class and she would always ask incredulously, "why would we toss a salad today, boys?" It still makes me giggle.

have i mentioned how much i love this thread title

NSFW https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Surprise

Now that reminds me of our classic bearotaur vs sharktopus thread

have i mentioned how much i love this thread title

― Two Meter Peter (Ste)

it is great, it's fun to say/think

/sing

i am the author of this thread title and i regret it because it is stuck in my head forever now

haha I def sing it to myself

local eire man (darraghmac) wrote this on thread everybody on ilx complains about reddit on board I Love Everything on 12-Jan-2015

but wouldnt it have been an honour a privilege

derail- first time ms mac met my best friend he got drunk and had to be driven home (several miles along some serious back roads in a pink seicento that was my carriage at the time) and every now and again hed wake up in the back and rear up into the front singing that couplet and on the fourth or fifth time she took off her shoe and rained several sincere thumps down upon his head and i thought youre the one for me fatty

<3

I hate the term 'gaslighting' because I can never remember what it means. I wish there was a good trick using the visual cues of gas and lighting to help me remember; but I can't find a memorable connection of the cues and "sowing seeds of doubt to manipulate a targeted individual/group".

― THE DON IS GONE (FlopsyDuck), Wednesday, 13 January 2021 14:53 (fifty-one minutes ago) link

never seen this term before, are you sure you're ok

― stylish but illegal (Simon H.), Wednesday, 13 January 2021 15:15 (twenty-nine minutes ago) link

lol

Open goal, but well struck.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.skysports.com%2Ffootball%2Fnews%2F11095%2F12184434%2Fmarine-0-5-tottenham-carlos-vinicius-hat-trick-sends-visitors-into-fa-cup-fourth-round&psig=AOvVaw2_bmwXt-gjwjQ2xgtPl4IL&ust=1610707879452000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCNjg6Mmgm-4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAP

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bordertelegraph.com%2Fsport%2Fnational_sport%2F19000994.fa-cup-a-lifesaver-marine-historic-run-ended-tottenham%2F&psig=AOvVaw2_bmwXt-gjwjQ2xgtPl4IL&ust=1610707879452000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCNjg6Mmgm-4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAV

From the “DAAAAAWWWWWWctopus cute pics (no squid allowed)” thread:

Okay I know this isn't the right thread for it but I can't help falling in love with the banded piglet squid

🖼

it says no squid allowed right there in the thread title ffs

Yes and I am protesting that octonormative bigotry

Dammit, there should be an easier way to quote folks with credit in Zing

ok this, this is the nadir

Oh, _you’re_ a nadir.

precious, scarce

i liked "octonormative"

Usually the US politics thread just makes me cry but the string of posts after this embedded tweet really got me (esp M@tt):

Enough With The Cutesy Titles, People Are Dead: US Politics January 2021 pt 2

All kicking off at Leamington. Mike McGrath sent off for Kettering after a physical altercation with the referee , took it out on the changing room then decided that wasn't enough is tried to get back on the pitch to have another go at the ref before the stewards got control and gave him to the police.

― Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 20:36

Just seen the video - the ref calls him over for something, he's clearly got a cob on and goes to square up but the ref has his arm out pointing and McGrath meets it with his chest, then slaps it out of the way so he can get closer.

― Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 21:14

Leamington spar

― kieth chagrin (NickB), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 21:23

ok this, this is the nadir

This is the redemptive moment

wtf that's a great joke

sometimes a joke's greatness is in its plunge to a nadir

This is the Nader

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/2168451223/headshot_nader.jpg