the landfill that time forgot: crap uk bands of 00s/10s

Everytime this thread comes up I think of 'thirteen senses - into the fire', another generic song from a generic band in a vast, saturated sea of rock piano ballads coming from the uk in the mid 00's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFroDCsVCeY

So, the introduction by McGee got me thinking, what if...

Alan McGee is phoning Bobby Gillespie with a proposition.

McGEE: (*impatiently*) "Come the fuck on, Gillespie, ya lazy cu..."

BOAB: (*sleepily*) "... hullo?"

McGEE: "Hey, Bob, it's me."

BOAB: (*brightly*) "'Zat you, Al? Here, how's it fuckin' hangin', wee man..."

McGEE: "... uh yeah I..."

BOAB: "... here, whit aboot this coronavirus shite? Huv ye ever seen the likes? Stuck in the hoose 24/7, nae pubs open, the bookies shut, it's like a fuckin' nightmare..."

McGEE: "... aye, er ..."

BOAB: "... it's fuckin' dystopian is whit it is! And can ye believe me, the bold Boab, huvvin' tae practice fuckin' social distancin'? Whenever ah'm oot and aboot these days ah've goat tae make sure ah don't get mobbed wi mah fuckin' fans - keep the fuckers 6 feet awiy..."

McGEE: (*coolly*) "Happens a lot does that? Gettin' mobbed by your fans?"

BOAB: (*sheepishly*) "Well, no' really but that's no' the point..."

McGEE: "... listen, Bob, if I can interject..."

BOAB: "... interject away, wee yin, interject away!"

McGEE: "Aye, right. (*clears throat*) Now, I've got a propostion for you, Bob..."

BOAB: "... aw right, here we go..."

McGEE "... naw, never mind 'here we go'. I've got a proposition that entails a doing a good deed for the NHS."

BOAB: (*warily*) "Here, ye're no' tryin' tae get me tae fuckin' volunteer at a fuckin' hoaspital, ur ye? Ye know, 'cuz ah'm fine wi' gaun tae ma front door an' clappin' the NHS workers every Thursday night but ah'm no' intae volunteerin' - no' that ah dae go tae ma front door and clap them every Thursday night..."

McGEE: (*exasperated*) "No, Bob, I do not want you to volunteer at a local hospital (*sotto voce) (perish the thought) I want you to lend your musical talents to a project to raise money for the NHS, Jesus!"

BOAB: "Oh right? That's mair like it, wee man! Because the fuckin' NHS is the fuckin' backbone o' the country! Pittin' their lives oan the line fer us, every day and night. Where wid we aw be wi'oot they brave fuckin' men and women o' the NHS? Ah tell ye where we'd be - doon the fuckin' cludgie, that's where! Tae think that ...

McGEE: (*sotto voce*) "Fuck sake, he's going to mention Nye Bevan in a minute..."

BOAB: "... back in 1948 when Nye Bevan..."

McGEE (*raising voice*) "... Bob!"

BOAB: "... founded the NHS or, tae gie it it's fuhll name..."

McGEE (*louder*) ".... BOB!"

BOAB: "... the National Health Service..."

McGEE (*almost screaming*): "... BOBBY!!!!!!"

BOAB: "... here, nae need tae shout, Al, ah'm listenin', ah'm listenin'."

McGEE: "Right, phew, right. OK, so here's the deal, a group of musicians are going to record - at home - contributions to a song that will help raise money to the NHS..."

BOAB (*earnestly*) "... right, Al, goat ye, goat ye..."

McGEE: "... so as I say, the song's already been chosen and all you have to do is sing and film yourself singing a few lines from the song. I've already recorded an introduction..."

BOAB (*interjecting*) "Ye whit??!??! YOU'RE fuckin' singin' oan it??!??"

McGEE: (*exasperated*) "... naw ah'm no' fuckin' singin' oan it! I recorded a fuckin' spoken introduction!"

BOAB: "... jist as well as naebody wahnt's tae hear Alan McGee singing - as the worldwide record sales of Biff Bang Pow prove... nae offence, Al..."

McGEE: "None taken... well, no' much anyway... so, what do you reckon? Can I tell them you'll do it?"

BOAB: "Ah've jist goat a few questions..."

McGEE: (*mumbling*) "... should have fuckin' guessed ..."

BOAB: "Has this project goat a name?"

McGEE (*still mumbling*) "... ye'd think ah'd have learned by now... (*full voice*) Oh sorry, Bob, what was that?"

BOAB: "Ah mean, there was fuckin' Band Aid, and... fuckin'.... Ferry Aid or whatever that wan wis that recorded some shite when that fuckin' ferry sank..."

McGEE (*hesitantly*) "Indie Allstars".

BOAB: "Come again, Al?"

McGEE (*sighing*) "Indie Allstars".

BOAB: (*doubtfully*) "Here, ah'm no' sure aboot that, Al. Ah mean we're no' indie, wid they even wahnt a band plays black music involved?"

McGEE (*deep breath*) "Listen Boab, it disnae fuckin' matter whit the thing's fuckin' ca'd, does it? It's the cause that counts!"

BOAB: "Aye, ah suppose ye're right, wee man. So whit's the song then? Sumthin' classy, like "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" - whit was that again, Hillsborough or Thomas Hamilton?"

McGEE: (*flatly*) "No it's "Chasing Rainbows" by Shed Seven." (*coughs*)

BOAB: "Shed Seven?"

McGEE: (*even flatter*) "Chasing Rainbows" by Shed Seven.

BOAB: "Shed Fuckin' Seven?"

McGEE: "Listen, Boab, there's a lot of good people on it... er... apart from Shed Seven".

BOAB: "Like who?"

McGEE: (*clears throat*) "Er, there's a couple of guys from, er, All The Young..."

BOAB: "Aw the who?!??!"

McGEE: "And, er (*swallowing hard*)... the bass player from the Fratellis... um... plays, er, some bass..."

*complete silence*

McGEE: "... ye still there, Boab?"

BOAB: "Aye, surprisingly..."

McGEE: "... and, uh, Billy Bibby formerly of Catfish & the Bottlemen contributes ..."

BOAB: (*interjecting*) "Can ah stoap ye right there, Al?"

McGEE: (*resigned*) "Aye, awright, ah know..."

*pause*

McGEE: "How's the wife?"

BOAB: "She's fine."

McGEE: "And the kids?"

BOAB: "The kids are fine."

McGEE: "Right well, got things to do and people to ... well, I've got things to do. Catch ye later, Bob, when this all over!"

BOAB: "Aye, will do, wee yin, will do. Aw the best! Sorry aboot that wee crack aboot Biff Bang Pow!"

McGEE: "Aye, well many a true word spoken in jest!"

BOAB: "Aye, mibbe mibbe! See ye, Al!

McGEE: "Aye, see ye Boab!"

*phone call ends*

McGEE: (*to himself*) "Wish I still had Liam's number... provided he hasn't blocked me, like that last time..."

lol that is brilliant

hahaha can't stop laughing at that video, even the name of the band is a half-assed effort.

I want to know more about this kind of person. Do they really exist though? Or is there just a few bizarro versions of these dudes making a lot of noise about it somewhere?

Can I introduce you to this classic thread:

a mix between The Stone Roses and Primal Scream with the swagger of Oasis

The biggest surprise is that Johnny Dean of Menswe@r seems to be the best singer of the lot or maybe that's just because he gets to follow the Cast bloke who clearly has never heard the song before.

Johnny Dean is a great guy, easily the best of the Menswe@r crew, and a good autism advocate on Twitter, unfortunately he's a bit FBPE, but you can't have it all.

*\o/* @ Boaby

Worst voice: John Power

Is that ex-Nottingham forest goalie Mark Crossley at 4:59??

(xp) LOL, yes, John has an almost terminal case of Lennonitis.

another pure belter fae the boy tom d there, a+

Worst hair: John Power

He's John Weak now

This is what the group looked like in 2016, what must they all look like now?

https://www.concorde2.co.uk/images/detail/media/image/cast-website-10966.jpg

the Indie Allstars consisting of bands on Polygram, Parlophone, Sony, Virgin, Island, BMG, London, Universal, Sire, Columbia and Polydor. tbf Northern Uproar, the Pigeon Detectives, and the Inspiral Carpets were actually indie.

Select magazine from 1991 called, they want their letters page back

brb, giving myself a huge floppy bumpart like Jon Ronson’s back-page byline photo

Most of these bands may be forgotten. But so is Nelly too, and Nelly was much worse than anything on this list.

― You're Twistin' My Melody Man! (Geir Hongro), Tuesday, February 22, 2011 12:45 AM (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Telling that they either couldn't or didn't try to drag one single woman into the Indie Allstars.

"Not daft"

nelly’s “uh’s” in the beginning of “hot in here” are worth the smoking ashes of all these British bands combined

Nice to see an appearance from Pete Doherty at 4.27

― all things must pasteurize (Matt #2), Wednesday, April 29, 2020 11:04 AM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

LOL

Somebody make a Spotify or YouTube playlist of all this stuff. I’m curious to see if it really is as bad as ILM says it is.

oldest stuff on there is The Farm, guess there are new bands on there too, don't think a single playlist will reasonably encompass all of this... stuff.

Somebody make a Spotify or YouTube playlist of all this stuff. I’m curious to see if it really is as bad as ILM says it is.

why don't you make a youtube or spotify playlist of this stuff, and then listen to it?

I’m lazy.

Hahaha there were some defensive comments made by the admin of that “indie all stars” account (Alan maybe?) to every spiteful comment in the video that have since been erased.

I doubt McGee had much to do with it given his articulate and meticulously worded introduction. Mind you he is desperate for something to do these days.

I’m lazy.

I'll spend 4 hours researching and compiling for $100.

Gay Dad?

did not bother the 2010s overmuch tbf

The top 50 greatest landfill indie songs of all time

oxymoronic

the subhed immediately addresses NV's concerns, and there are some decent gags in the mini-essay before the list.

Did the term "landfill indie" originate here?

Andrew Harrison takes the blame according to the piece.

i read bits and pieces, the actual writing was ok

i don't think the term originated on ilm

I heard landfill adjoined to all sorts of things other than music years before I heard it used in this context. at least I think I did!

swagger overload i can't take it

the list is good imo, I like that it takes pains to explain that while the movement/period was shit overall some of the music was fun, and I also like the idea that non-landfill acts were capable of putting out landfill indie

and how some Petey D bands are landfill and some aren't

During the next couple days I am going to listen to every single one of these songs. My goal is to find one that I like. Just one. My hopes are not very high.

As I said elsewhere, the very first one (#50) is a good song. Can't vouch for much of the rest except Maximo Park who are still quite good

yeah, i'll still ride for those two maximo park songs. idk if they really fit into landfill genre, they were a bit weirder than the rest of the ilk.

The one great thing about landfill indie is, you don't ever have to hear it to know it's shite.

a few songs I actually like here, this is the driftnet definition of landfill indie though, like calling any UK band with guitars from the 90s "britpop"

Carcass and Bolt Thrower killed the britpop game.

was going to make jokes about thrash metal bands slaughtering b-list britpoppers, thought better of it

From the list I'd stand up for the two Maximo Park picks (Our Velocity should have been their farewell single), Two Doors Down by Mystery Jets (Young Love with Laura Marling from that same album is also great) and the Guillemots single (although Trains To Brazil was their best moment by a long way). Not sure Guillemots really belong here. They were more varied and ambitious than any of the other bands on this list.

Surprised Art Brut weren't featured. Definitely the band I'd still rep for from this entire scene.

i too was expecting Art Brut to feature.