lord custos tribute thread

i will show you how to do it

<font face="Courier">FADE IN

J ANDWHAT JAMESON is sitting at his desk at the Daily Planet. His wrinkled shirtsleeves are rolled to the elbows and his white lawyer's collar radiates the reek of sweat and anger. He pushes back the stack of the ilx-related gaywaddery across the desk to a visibly nervous SHIPLEY. Veins in ANDWHAT's neck threaten to burst as he chomps deeply on his stogie.

ZOOM IN on SHIPLEY, eyes rolling side to side, sweating bullets

SHIPLEY

*gulps*

but ... but ... but ...

REVERSE ANGLE on ANDWHAT JAMESON, leaning back in chair, crossing arms.

JAMESON

That post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font! Get back to me when you see some of that! Otherwise keep your anger at bad jokes to your damn self!

</font>

oh man

FADE IN
J ANDWHAT JAMESON is sitting at his desk at the Daily Planet. His wrinkled shirtsleeves are rolled to the elbows and his white lawyer's collar radiates the reek of sweat and anger. He pushes back the stack of the ilx-related gaywaddery across the desk to a visibly nervous SHIPLEY. Veins in ANDWHAT's neck threaten to burst as he chomps deeply on his stogie.
ZOOM IN on SHIPLEY, eyes rolling side to side, sweating bullets
SHIPLEY
*gulps*
but ... but ... but ...
REVERSE ANGLE on ANDWHAT JAMESON, leaning back in chair, crossing arms.
JAMESON
That post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font! Get back to me when you see some of that! Otherwise keep your anger at bad jokes to your damn self!

you get the idea

fucking up the html makes it even better

Hey ILX, You Can Also Capitalize the First Letter of Every Word While You're Talking About Jello Biafra

</custos>

the thing about custos, and i know ive pointed this out like 5 times on ilx already, is that he never just did the end tag he always did the OPENING TAG too which kills me to this day

conscientous custos.

custos, what is your attraction to that TT tag? i find it mildly annoying.

― ron (ron), Thursday, July 10, 2003 8:39 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The teletype tag is beeeeyoootiful. It makes what you're quoting look official, professional, clean and legible.
I have a policy. If I quote something said my an ILM'er I use Italics. If I quote something from "outside" the forum, I use Teletype. I think it's a good policy.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, July 10, 2003 10:39 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that should have been in italics ethan

eeeeuuuuuwww. Comic Sans always looks shitty regardless of the context. (I have a hundred Comic Book fonts on my system, and every single goddamned one of them is 100x better than Comic Sans.)
Besides, I think teletype might not really be a font, but a monospacing feature...or somesuch nonsense....that modifies a font.
I haven't done any experiments though.
(Heads over to the HTML Playground area)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, July 10, 2003 11:04 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It's a good policy.

Wow, I must have missed that one. And he never even used one of his hundred comic book fonts. :(

xp

Are ILXers Dinosaurs?

custos in top form
Beethoven Was Black

oh man

FADE INJ ANDWHAT JAMESON is sitting at his desk at the Daily Planet. His wrinkled shirtsleeves are rolled to the elbows and his white lawyer's collar radiates the reek of sweat and anger. He pushes back the stack of the ilx-related gaywaddery across the desk to a visibly nervous SHIPLEY. Veins in ANDWHAT's neck threaten to burst as he chomps deeply on his stogie.ZOOM IN on SHIPLEY, eyes rolling side to side, sweating bulletsSHIPLEY*gulps*but ... but ... but ...REVERSE ANGLE on ANDWHAT JAMESON, leaning back in chair, crossing arms.JAMESONThat post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font! Get back to me when you see some of that! Otherwise keep your anger at bad jokes to your damn self!
― moonship journey to baja, Thursday, February 19, 2009 1:02 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

looool never saw this

of course c&p'ing made it look all weird but w/e

official, professional, clean and legible.

this isn't really custos-y, but I just realized that AiNYC has a phrase he likes almost as much as "big audio mistake" and wanted to post it in the same thread:

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Beach Boys - OPO/POO/whatever on board I Love Music on Jan 13, 2003

Never really liked not "got" the Beach Boys (I know, I know: "What's to get? They wrote brilliant pop!" Sure, but I don't understand why people act like they invented the wheel, and I could never fathom how people regarded them as peers to the Beatles in any possible way). That said, I'll go with "Wendy".
Also, Mike Love? C'mon! He's indefensible!!! That guy needs a goddamn Mouth Diaper for all the shit that spews out of it.

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Musicians who die that ILM will have to really struggle to say good things about in his RIP thread. on board I Love Music on Jan 14, 2003

Once again, Mike Love needs a MOUTH DIAPER for all the shit that plops out of it.
There's a name for a band: Mouth Diaper!

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Beach Boys - OPO/POO/whatever on board I Love Music on Nov 13, 2003

Also, Mike Love? C'mon! He's indefensible!!! That guy needs a goddamn Mouth Diaper for all the shit that spews out of it.
Jesus, January must've been one angry month for me.

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Classic Or Dud: Laurie Anderson's "O Superman" on board I Love Music on May 4, 2005

and in terms of melodic content compares unfavourably to other hit singles of the period, such as "Endless Love" by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.
You need a mouth diaper, `cos you talk an awful lot of shit.

Alex in NYC wrote this on thread Would trade your music collection for every album Robert Christgau declared a "Must To Avoid"? on board I Love Music on Jan 13, 2008

COCTEAU TWINS: Blue Bell Knoll

Christgau talks so much shit, he needs a mouth diaper.

what a disgusting phrase, i can't imagine using it once letting alone becoming attached to it!!

be careful, last time i made fun of alex's posting style (albeit more maliciously) i got a ream of shit from half of ilx e_e

"Lord Custos Epsilon" sounds like a B-level WWF wrestler in the mid-1980s.

Who was this guy, anyway?

somewhere between troll & aspie nerd.

he invented challops

rad darkhorse scenario: boy was never inside the father did it all for publicity and is about to have a press conference where he informs us the government is controlled by lizard people

― ice cr?m, Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago) Permalink

isn't that more of a darklizard scenario?

― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago)

WHICH IS MOST DANGEROUSEST - texting while driving or throwing knives at someone's face?

rad darkhorse scenario: boy was never inside the father did it all for publicity and is about to have a press conference where he informs us the government is controlled by lizard people

― ice cr?m, Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago) Permalink

isn't that more of a darklizard scenario?

― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago)

― moonship journey to baja, Thursday, October 15, 2009 4:37 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

see the thing with this one is that custos would have actually presented us with a formatted script for that very scenario

lol at ppl calling shit Custosian while completely missing exactly what was made Custos infamous

yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah

yeah </beatles>

• yeah

• said like the rapper
• little john

cough

OH, WRONG THREAD

December 4, 2003
(Today's list was originally published on December 14, 1999)

The Top 20 Slogans for Legalized Marijuana

20> Got Buzz?
19> Pot: When You Care Enough Not to Care At All
18> A Day Without Pot is Like School
17> Weed My Lips!
16> Hey, America -- Let's Blow This joint!
15> What's So Great About Short-Term Memory Anyway?
14> Obey Your Jones
13> Hemp: The world's practical solution to making, like, paper and rope and necklaces and stuff
12> It's Not Just For Glaucoma Anymore!
11> Help Eradicate Road Rage in Our Lifetime
10> Official Sponsor of the NBA
9> Because the waste is a terrible thing to mi... Dude! I totally f***ed that up!
8> Cannabis: The PRE-Coital Smoke
7> This is your brain.
This is your brain on pot.
This is your brain desperately searching for Doritos.
6> When Was the Last Time You REALLY Looked at Your Hand?
5> SMOKE POT! (Did we just say that out loud? Or did we just think it?)
4> Recommended by 5 Out of 5 Deadheads
3> Just Doob It
2> It's the all-the-time smokey, skunky, sticky, greeny, seedy, stemmy, doobie so-you-can-get-high medicine.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Slogan for Legalized Marijuana...

1> Skull-Shaped Bong: $12.00
Primo Maui-Grown Bud: $25.00
Watching Teletubbies with Your Buddies: Priceless

Discuss.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Friday, December 5, 2003 12:13 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

omg 4ever @ custos

also lol that "primo maui-grown bud" would be $25 dollars.

sorry for double dollars there

Discuss.

completely missing exactly what was made Custos infamous

what, exactly, did make custos infamous?

HE SEEMS FASCINATING.

a constant desire to be funny, allied with and scuppered by a total tone-deafness in the realms of humour, social sensitivity, racial puppetry and so on

Salem - What kind of music genre is this ?

A++, ilxor. actual irl lols

― markers, Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:37 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://i53.tinypic.com/osd8oh.gif

haha waht

dude can open a door to space I guess

how many times has markers posted some combination of "looooool" or "looooooooooool" or "irl lols" or "A++" -- feel like that's about 60% of his posts -- i would research this, but we all know what happened to grady

how many of your posts are saying something negative about what another poster's doing?

let people be

i thought that was sperm

he's just asking the important questions