Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Actually, on second thought ed.b, after watching Andy Warhol's Dracula, I've come to the conclusion that this lady is a vampire and you should probably steer well clear.

That sounds hot!

Agree with Ed.B

is she a little older? sometimes people past their 20's don't make a big deal out of all this phone/message stuff leading up to the event - "ok i got you for sunday, we'll talk then" but a quick check by text to make sure it's still on seems reasonable. you can probably check to see if she's a vampire better in person, just bring some silver crosses or a small mirror or something if you need to be sure

suggest meeting up at http://www.garlicandshots.com/

Or you can always have quick rampant sex with the gardener on the way to meeting her, and if she tries to bite you, your blood will poison her and she'll vomit copiously everywhere? Not quite so hott. (Though somehow Udo Kier made it look hott so who knows.)

Argh, having my usual "first date was amazing and am now utterly impatient to have another one" frustration timez.

Pace yourself! Although, honestly, I wish I was better at pacing myself because I get the same way. I try to remember that that's why I occasionally wind up stuck in months-long situations that probably shouldn't have lasted more than a couple of dates.

So I reactivated my stupid account and did a massive overhaul of my profile. This time around, I favored a casual and laid-back approach that I feel better compliments my personality than the "warts and all" textual panic attack that was my former profile. It's probably a good thing to not expose the entirety of your psyche straight out of the gate, huh?

Well, this guy totally said he liked me and was amazed at how well we got on bla bla and he's definitely said he wants to see me again. I just gotta cool my damn jets. I'm so skittish about trusting ppl after recent bs.

You know something that has actually worked for me recently?

If I really want to see the person again, instead of saying at the end of the date "I had a really fun time, I'd like to see you again" I go "hey, there's this really fun specific thing that we could do in my neighbourhood, how about you email me and let me know when you're free?" So instead of vague plans, there is a specific activity that we are discussing, and a reason for either/both of us to get in contact if you really do want to see each other again. And it's a way that you can actually plan for the next date before the end of that date, but without the pressure of saying yes/no. If they're into you, either of you can get in touch relatively quickly saying all "yeah, that's good for me next Sunday" or whatever.

I seem to be seeing quite a bit of a specific person, it's quite nice. Funny story, though: on discovering that I was a Radiohead fan, they confessed sheepishly that they had never actually knowingly heard the band, and went so far as to run out and borrow a CD from a friend in order to bone up on their music. I was all "actually, I'm so impressed that you've managed to actually escape the all-pervasive cultural influence that I don't actually want to listen to it?"

Lol, I definitely removed the fact that I don't listen to metal from my profile after noticing several v.v. hot but also a little exotic metal chicks.

― formerly EDB (ed.b), Saturday, August 18, 2012 8:51 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haha, this has already paid off.

If I really want to see the person again, instead of saying at the end of the date "I had a really fun time, I'd like to see you again" I go "hey, there's this really fun specific thing that we could do in my neighbourhood, how about you email me and let me know when you're free?"

This is a good point I never normally follow, I'm always so vague and "lets do whatever, when you like!" and I thought about what you said here, cos I'd been all "would you like to catch up again this week?" and was just getting "yes" as a reply and I was... nrrrgh! So I txtd him today and said "hey, come over my place tomorrow night I'll make us dinner". Success!

Yay! Good going!

See this has been such a hard lesson for me to learn because it goes against all my INTP vagueness but "this has been fun, let's meet again some time" is p much a guarantee you'll never see that person again while "hey do you wanna check out this new cafe, I can do Fri evening or Sunday afternoon, does either of those work for you?" inceases your chances of a second date tenfold.

Yeah I'm definitely not a leader type. Its been hard to be decisive! But it is good when it pays off :)

wcc i saw richard d. james at the gym tonight (although it's also possible that it was aj burnett in a wig)

he was quite fit, but he was wearing purple shorts and those running shoes with individual toes. in other words, a little creepy

I somehow just have a lot of trouble imagining RDJ in a gym. Like, there are many places I could perfectly credibly believe seeing him (Truro Sainsburys?) I just can't imagine him in a gym. Unless he was, like, sampling the grunts of the weight machines.

Welp, disabled my account :) For a good reason, not a giving up one :)

Hey congrats, if I think it is what I think it is!

I have an eyeroll for you. Not a complaint or even a solicitation for advice, but just an eyeroll.

Went on a single date with someone about a month back. It was nice but no fireworks or anything, we made vague plans to meet again but texts tapered off and we didn't meet again, whatevs.

So last night, and quite late, I get this weird long, complicated text from them, apologising for not getting in contact for a month and all weird and saying they understand if I don't want to reply but can they have my email to send me some even longer, more complicated explanation about why they didn't get in touch with me sooner?

And I'm like HUH, WHO EVEN ARE YOU? until I realised who it was. People are so strange.

Oh weird! Dude, that boats sailed, dont try it! People are strange, indeed.

And yes, my assertive dinner date plan worked far better than I could have hoped, and he wants to go out with me, and everything was shiny and very good.

yay trayce!

work lust #2 has commenced. sigh.

We need a thread for work lust. It is killing me. Sigh.

thread of inappropriate professional attachments

i made one. i hijacked f.hazel's title upthread

a woman apparently interested in meeting me just told me that 'You are less unique than you think.'

lol am i being negged?

narrowly managed to refrain from mentioning that there are no degrees of uniqueness o well

Ha, that sounds like something from a honest fortune cookie.

I know it sounds like "you are not a special sunflower" but perhaps she meant it in a "you are not as alone and solitary as you think" kind of manner?

I am trying to be generous here.

Went on a date on tues, it lacked the essential spark, tho I did like her a lot. Forgot how annoying it is when you are having really good messages and the date just doesn't take off.

omg i just saw a profile that said

"I learned to SING before I learned to talk"

can't breathe from LOLs

Maybe she's an ABBA fan?

I'm quite used to the "great messages" -> "date that doesn't take off" by now. Strangely, the best luck I've had so far was with a girl who I barely talked to before meeting - we went on 6-7 dates before deciding it wasn't gonna work.

narrowly managed to refrain from mentioning that there are no degrees of uniqueness o well

THIIIISSSS.

Have been exchanging emails w v literary cycling guy maybe 1 ev 3-4 days? It's a pleasant rate. It is indescribably nice to get insightful, chatty letters full of nicely turned sentences. (Current topics I am waiting for a reply on: use of serial commas + maps of old Rome.) It has straight put me off the cute tattooed punk kid who I was also writing but who could never keep up.

Well it depends on the difference between uniqueness and rarity, I suppose? There are degrees to rarity. But talking about uniqueness in a human population of 6 Billion is a fool's game.

There have been at least two times where, if we never met, just staying net pals would have actually been a really good thing, and that was lost by meeting. You'd never let yourself wonder though.

Haha, no, I totally wonder about that stuff.

Gonna go on a date soon with a guy I met at -- yeah, a club. I just can't meet people online, it seems. I have a feeling this person might end up being a total disappointment, but at least I know he kinda makes me blushy and we have had good conversations thus far. Also: no one ever messages me or responds to my messages. The whole experience makes me feel like an unlovable troll.

i am not a fan of exchanging long drawn out emails before meeting. i prefer to just meet and then see if it's worth exchanging long, drawn out emails with that person in the future. but maybe i need to rethink this strategy

Oh I already had a date with email guy, we just haven't been free on the same night in like two weeks. We're doing a daytime activity on Sunday. (I know, me! Dating in daylight!)

I have a date this evening, but it's really really hard to pull myself out of the "FOREVER ALONE" funk I seem to have sunk into this weekend.

I wish I knew a way to psych myself up for it and be all "yay! life is good! let's be social!" when you're feeling generally "life has really thrown an extraordinarily large amount of spanners in my emotional life, and it's just not fair" self pity party. I get on well with this person, and never feel any pressure to be someone I'm not around them (which is quite rare) but I just can't help but feel like I'm letting people down when I'm feeling like this, and yet still insist on inflicting my Marvin-like presence on them - yet it would be ruder to cancel at short notice.

Blech.

You guys :(

Why? What happened?

Gimme a second, I'm waiting for something....

He's smart and quiet and likes what I like and does things and is excellent company, good-humored, perceptive, apparently patient and kind and easily amused, since he seems to like me. And I don't want him to touch me. I want to pull away if our arms even brush. I'm actually kind of...repelled? and it's not his fault at all, HE is not repellent, I just can't get away fast enough.

Not "get away" from his presence, he's easy to hang with and fun to be around. But away from feeling any romantic pressure.

Oh god, that's awkward.

Is it just a physical... you're just not into what he looks like at all. Or is it one of those more complicated situations where you're not attracted *because* it seems to easy/simple/not enough tension? Like, are you second guessing yourself, or is it just "ugh, never in a million years" when you look at him?

(Sorry this sounds so awful - it's possible for someone to be perfectly attractive, just not attractive to *you* so I'm not asking "is he really ugly" but "is he just a no-go for you" ?)

He's not remotely bad-looking. He's perfectly nice-looking and even has nice blue eyes and better eyelashes than I do. But I think it's a no-go for me.

Yeah, I've dated some gorgeous ladies that I had no real connection with at all. It creates some cognitive dissonance, for sure, but you gotta go with your gut.

School has started, I am getting lots of messages from 22 year olds. Actually... they are all far better looking than the older guys who usually message me (ACTUALLY, no one MY AGE ever messages me.. it's either someone quite a bit older, or quite a bit younger.. what's up with the 32 year old dudes in Denver!?). It's enough to tempt me.

been messaging a few people lately on soulmates (not cupid), i added some new photos and stuff, some good peeps, i don't have a lot of faith tho. i actually think i'm in a v solitary place at the moment, though not even in a bad way. one of my closest friends has started seeing someone and i'm actually sort of glad in that it allows me to prepare for a winter of just focussing on the hobbies i do away from my friends and exercising. i might shave my head and get some warpaint also.

that jerk i dated sent me back my dvds without a note or anything. ice collllllllllllld. i wish i had some way to retaliate but i'm trying to convince myself that "living well is the best revenge" but it certainly doesn't feel that way right now.