TS: Han Solo v. Indiana Jones

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I can only report as an observer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Both were a bit less badass in the third of the series. Han spent a better part of it frozen or blind, Indy kept getting pwned by his dad. I don't really remember what either did in the second other than Han letting himself be stuck in the freezer, which is pretty noble. Han was more badass in the first than Indy was in his first. I'll go with Han.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:32 (eighteen years ago) link

also, historical revisionism aside, HAN SHOT FIRST

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:33 (eighteen years ago) link

dude han solo kicks ass in "empire" anthony! tontons! (or however they're spelled) shooting the imperial probe droid! saving luke from the big bad ice monster or something!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:34 (eighteen years ago) link

whereas indy in the second one helps a bunch of, uh, indians.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:34 (eighteen years ago) link

oh yeah! Forgot about the Tontons. More reason to vote for Han.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:35 (eighteen years ago) link

As an observer when the original Star Wars came out, and I was oh 13 or 14 I think, I can report there was plenty of female slathering. And exploding. Thinking back, if I could have been in the pants of Peter Criss (Kiss' drummer) or Han Solo, Han won, hands down. I actually had this argument with a friend at the time. We debated for hours the pros and cons, and Han Solo came out on top of every rock star then contemporary.
That's some serious chick-magnet power.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:35 (eighteen years ago) link

he slices open da belly of the tonton so luke can live! what a guy!

the second indy movie has some of the best one-liners, tho it's a complete stinker dud of a movie.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:36 (eighteen years ago) link

"prepare to meet kali...in HELL!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I'd like to think if they had made a movie where Han had a dad he would have been played by Walter Matthau, but I doubt it.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (eighteen years ago) link

"we walk from here"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (eighteen years ago) link

FWIW, Tauntaun is how you spell it.

http://www.starwars.com/databank/creature/tauntaun/

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (eighteen years ago) link

oh c'mon don't let your nerdery spoil the fun ned!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (eighteen years ago) link

I haven't seen Temple Of Doom in years. All I remember is the gross shit that made them invent the PG-13 rating.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Much as I love Indiana Jones, I'm going with Han Solo. Dude is the bright spot in a dark and dorky universe, more than anyone else he seemed to understand the material was crap and played to it.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:38 (eighteen years ago) link

temple of doom was on the tv the other day and of course i was COMPELLED to watch it despite seeing it a billion times and knowing it's crap.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:38 (eighteen years ago) link

also raiders has good one liners and what not. third indy movie, not so much.

"asps, very dangerous"
"snakes, why'd it have to be SNAKES?"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:39 (eighteen years ago) link

nerdery

No, nedery. ;-)

I haven't seen Temple Of Doom in years

Be prepared for bullshit if you do. My most recent take on it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Han shot first vs. Indy shooting the dude with the fancy knife tricks.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:40 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah but in temple of doom he doesn't have his gun!

river phoenix as young indy = dud

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:40 (eighteen years ago) link

"indy, the ark is loaded into the truck"
"truck, WHAT truck?!?!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:41 (eighteen years ago) link

"Don't everybody thank me at once..."

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I SHOULD HAVE SHENT IT TO THE MAHXSH BROTHERSH!

you know Temple Of Doom was Pauline Kael's favorite, but she liked how nonstop goofy it was. But she's not a fan of the series, she'd happily sacrifice awe and character for more goofy zip. Nonetheless I haven't bothered to see it since puberty.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:43 (eighteen years ago) link

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:44 (eighteen years ago) link

"Travelling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops!"

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Han Solo has WAY more great one liners!

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I think Indy is really disqualified for not always being the most badass person in each of the 3 movies. Sean stole the title in round 3, had to get his ass shot to give Indy a little hero time.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link

haha last crusade is my fave too.

hey quick question about revenge of the shit (i'm seeing it tomorrow) - do we get to finally see a wookiee rip some arm off after getting beat at holochess?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Best thing about the Indy series: recurring Nazi face-melts. When your movie melts a Nazi or two, you can't go wrong.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link

"Wonderful girl. Either I'm gonna kill her or I'm starting to like her!"

xpost roffles @ blount, I was just about the quote the arm ripping line.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:46 (eighteen years ago) link

do we get to finally see a wookiee rip some arm off after getting beat at holochess?

Alas no.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:47 (eighteen years ago) link

and then I remembered my Charlemagne...

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Han shot first vs. Indy shooting the dude with the fancy knife tricks.
I was going to post this, but Allyzay beat me to it.

HAN by a gazillion miles.

― lyra (lyra), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Han Solo's "YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!" is like the most strangest thing in any of these films, btw.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:48 (eighteen years ago) link

WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SMELL YOU'VE DISCOVERED.

People, I can keep going.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:49 (eighteen years ago) link

"The garbage chute was a REALLY wonderful idea! What an INCREDIBLE smell you've discovered!"

Haha xpost

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:50 (eighteen years ago) link

han solo's gf did her brother but indy's gf did his dad. i'm not sure who wins there.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:50 (eighteen years ago) link

"YES...your highnessness."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:50 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha the next time i go down on a chick i'm totally gonna quote 'and i though they smelled bad on the outside'.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:51 (eighteen years ago) link

blount you've discovered the one taking sides where no one wins.

― Allyzay WHO'S SCRUFFY LOOKIN??? (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally you haven't seen the Star Wars Holiday Special yet, have you? I forget. Han gets so much wookie hug time in that.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:51 (eighteen years ago) link

"No, no problem. Why?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:51 (eighteen years ago) link

"I think Lumpy's voice is changing!"

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:51 (eighteen years ago) link

I dare you to karaoke Leia's song over the Star Wars theme one of these days, Anthony.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Man, seriously, that Star Wars Holiday Special is like a mind-melting experience. WTF is that scene where Dionne Warwick sings a sexy song at Chewie's dad? Or the 15 minute opening sequence that is nothing more than a bunch of unsubtitled wookies talking at each other? The greatest thing about it is how drunk and stoned the SW main folx look throughout.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Diahann Carroll with WOOKIE PORN

Anyway...

"Hey...it's me!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:53 (eighteen years ago) link

"Laugh it up, fuzzball"

Seriously, I mean it's not like I'd totally kick Indiana Jones outta bed, but let's be real here.

xpost thank you need with the correct name of the actress. You strange, strange man who remembers every single thing about the SW universe.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:53 (eighteen years ago) link

I love when Leia's clinging to Chewy for dear life while singing some tone deaf Life Day carol and suddenly the Star Wars theme bursts out halfway in despite having a different rhythm and melody.

I got the dialogue wrong.

Han Solo: "Would you look at Lumpy! He's sure grown, huh? And I think his voice is changing."

Lumpy: "Arrgararrggaar!"

Han: "Come on, I'm just teasing."

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:54 (eighteen years ago) link

"I'm a nice man."

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:55 (eighteen years ago) link

i agree about the holiday special's mind-meltingness. whooa.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Skipping 40 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Oh, wait, someone already said that. Sorry Jimmy Mod.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 May 2005 09:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Han wins.

Only because I'm bitter that no history professor would ever look like Harrison Ford.

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:23 (eighteen years ago) link

"YES...your highnessness."
It's "your worshipfulness", actually.

Please to refer to scene in Empire near the start where Leia and Han confront each other in the hallway.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Ned,

Please reconstruct said scene in full because I do not remember it. Also because it would amuse me to have you do so. Because I'm bored.

Many thanks,

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Ahh.. did it end with...

Leia: "Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-lookin' nerf herder!"
Han: "Who's scruffy-lookin?"

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Hurrah for amusement!

It's the scene right after he says to the one Rebel general at the Hoth base that he has to leave because of the price on his head and then he and Leia talk briefly and he goes, "So long, princess!" and leaves abruptly. Next thing you see is her charging out the door of the control room calling for Han and he stops, turns and says said line, v. diffidently.

I have no problem with 4 through 6 essentially being imprinted in my brain. This is what a childhood obsession is *for*. :-)

Roz -- no, that's the scene later where Luke is recovering in his sickbed and Leia later smooches him.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Riiiighht. Damn, I wanna see Empire again. It's my favourite but it's the one I've seen the least number of times because the video (ooh vei, VHS!) got ruined by my older brother.

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Ned, I thank you for your commitment to my amusement.

I still do not remember that bit. Hmm. This requires further study. I must dig out my videos (yes, videos) of the pristine original Han-fires-first versions and watch them.

I better watch them all, just in case he says it again. Yes. I think that would prevent any further confusion on my part.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I couldn't even read this whole thread b/c I have to say: that picture of Han is so fucking hot it hurts me. The hair, the belt, the almost-inperceptible smirk! (This is, of course, tied in with longtime crush-from-childhood on Han, much stronger than Indy crush. Han is just, mm, cool.)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:09 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess most of the people on the thread know this, but the best thing about "I know" was that in the script it was "Just remember that, Leia, because I'll be back", but Harrison Ford wasn't sure he wanted to do a third film, so him and Irvin Kershner went over some possibilities, and eventually they just winged the scene, and Harrison adlibbed the line.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:31 (eighteen years ago) link

SOLO

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Han. Although hearing Indy say "Ahhh Venice", smirk, and pull a girl to the floor pretty much ruined my expectations for sex forever.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:50 (eighteen years ago) link

I think it's official; the best thing about Star Wars was Han Solo. This is why the new ones all suck.

― Adam Bruneau (oliver8bit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Random Guy: You'll freeze to death before you reach the first marker!

Han Solo: Then I'll see you in Hell!

in HELL!

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Luke: We've got to rescue the Princess!

Han: Jesus Christ, Luke! I mean, goddammit, you know?

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Han Solo: Then I'll see you in Hell!

The oddest thing about that line was that I always thought it was from the Indie films. He doesn't say it there as well does he? coz that would be mental.

HYDRO-spanners!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:44 (eighteen years ago) link

thirteen years pass...

do we not have a thread for the solo movie

― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Friday, 19 April 2019 23:01 (five years ago) link

Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 April 2019 23:37 (five years ago) link

― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Friday, 19 April 2019 23:41 (five years ago) link

Raiders > Every Star Wars movie ever made combined.

― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 19 April 2019 23:50 (five years ago) link

a cheese sandwich > every meal i've ever had combined

― what if bod was one of us (ledge), Saturday, 20 April 2019 07:29 (five years ago) link

three years pass...

What happens when Princess Leia is not in the mood?

Hand Solo!

― | (Latham Green), Tuesday, 25 October 2022 20:03 (one year ago) link

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