Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

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We have less than a year to figure out everything that happens in Rogue One, folks. To reiterate:

Felicity Jones
Mads Mikkelsen
Ben Mendelsohn
Alan Tudyk
Donnie Yen
Forest Whitaker
Diego Luna

Directed by the Monsters + Godzilla guy.

I'm piling the Lord & Miller Young Solo film in here too because no kidding, Rogue One is only eleven months away. That's crazy! As stated elsewhere I predict Franco the Younger gets the part.

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 02:12 (two years ago) Permalink

I have been all about Ben Mendelsohn in pretty much everything he's ever been in, I see no reason to stop now

Monsters/Godzilla director has cornered visually-stunning-yet-disappointing like no other though, so I have ~concerns~

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 January 2016 02:17 (two years ago) Permalink

The screenplay looks to be a terrible hodgepodge. Story by an ILM technician, first draft by the guy behind Book of Eli and After Earth, second draft by the guy behind About A Boy and The Golden Compass. Then Christopher McQuarrie, who writes Tom Cruise movies, was brought in at the last minute to rewrite all of it. Yikes, people. Also, score by Not John Williams (Alexandre Desplat, whom I only know because of Wes Anderson movies).

Apparently they filmed in the Maldives (!?!) and Mads Mikkelsen is playing Felicity Jones' dad, who is also the Death Star's Oppenheimer.

Now, is Alan Tudyk going to be playing some sadistic lickspittle of an Imperial officer, or a cantina buffoon with a silly accent?

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 05:23 (two years ago) Permalink

Rumors of Vader being cast for this as well with J E Jones returning to add the voice.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:05 (two years ago) Permalink

Every attempt I've made to explain this movie's existence to non-hardcore fans has been a disaster. "What do you mean it has nothing to do with the last Star Wars? And nothing to do with the originals either? That's stupid. Why would they do that?"

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:12 (two years ago) Permalink

And I mean that literally. Literally every single person I've talked to about this who doesn't identify as a Star Wars fan is confused.

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:14 (two years ago) Permalink

The common link in all your failed conversations...

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 22 January 2016 13:23 (two years ago) Permalink

TBH, I'm a bit confused too why this is set in the timeline of the original trilogy and not somewhere between RotJ and TFA...? What's the point of going over things on which we already know how they happened, instead of fleshing out some of the unknown events in the 30 year gap between episodes VI and VII?

Tuomas, Friday, 22 January 2016 13:37 (two years ago) Permalink

We don't know HOW they happened though, just broadly what happened. I don't care when they set it really, as long as they come up with an interesting story and some cool new characters. But that's the hard bit.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:45 (two years ago) Permalink

non-hardcore fans OTM

Christopher McQuarrie did write a Tom Cruise movie that had a very good first 40 minutes (Edge of Tomorrow) and, a long time ago in a Hollywood far far away, the overcelebrated but cute The Usual Suspects. What the hell is a Rogue One?

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 22 January 2016 15:25 (two years ago) Permalink

It's a one that has gone rogue

latebloomer, Friday, 22 January 2016 16:46 (two years ago) Permalink

you mean a 7

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 16:49 (two years ago) Permalink

A one with an combover

latebloomer, Friday, 22 January 2016 16:51 (two years ago) Permalink

Man-bun One

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 16:55 (two years ago) Permalink

I did like that promo cast pic they put out.

http://cdn.idigitaltimes.com/sites/idigitaltimes.com/files/2016/01/06/star-wars-rogue-one.jpg

Where my reactions were:

1. Whoa, this looks different. This looks cool. Okay, I can dig this.

2. Alright, Donnie Yen in a SW flick. Let's do this.

3. Man, Felicity Jones is...very, very attractive.

Really not looking forward to the two months of "they don't look like bothans!"/"they're not bothans, idiot; that was the 2nd one" exchanges tho.

Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Friday, 22 January 2016 16:57 (two years ago) Permalink

I wonder how much Rogue One was either pitched or constructed years ago as the studio(s) hedging their bets against a new SW flick bombing out? "Ok, folks might not dig the new chapter, so let's play it extra-safe and set it back in OT times"

Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:00 (two years ago) Permalink

what's with that gaudy red plate that guy is wearing? clashing so sharply with the nice dull palette of brown and grey they have going on. tone it down, buddy!

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:17 (two years ago) Permalink

is this Star Wars or a Lisa Frank lunchbox?

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:17 (two years ago) Permalink

looks like mandalorian armor

﷽ (diamonddave85), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:18 (two years ago) Permalink

the excitement coming from that picture is just too overwhelming

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:20 (two years ago) Permalink

this is gonna be GREAT so stoked

Οὖτις, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:23 (two years ago) Permalink

haha, sorry, i'll stop

Karl Malone, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:24 (two years ago) Permalink

I'd like to think the movie will just be that photograph Clutch Cargo-ed for two hours.

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:25 (two years ago) Permalink

they should really carry this idea through to other franchises. imagine a Harry Potter without magic and without Harry Potter or any of his friends. GOLD!

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:30 (two years ago) Permalink

is that a promo still for the new USA series Stargate: Alderaan?

nomar, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:30 (two years ago) Permalink

xpost I don't know if you're being ironical but there's a Harry Potterless Harry Potter movie coming out later this year.

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:32 (two years ago) Permalink

Star Wars: Redecorating the Kitchen in a Subleased Ranch House in Newport, CT

Karl Malone, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:34 (two years ago) Permalink

xpost i was not being ironic, lol i must have forgot that is actually happening

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:36 (two years ago) Permalink

lol what is this Harry Potterless movie, Dudley Goes to Camp?

Οὖτις, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:37 (two years ago) Permalink

Star Wars: Weekend Shift Workers Pausing To Watch the Chiefs Lose Thanks To Andy Reid's Clock Management

nomar, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:37 (two years ago) Permalink

cast photo looks like another sw w women/minority characters driving the action, so that's a point in its favor already

jason waterfalls (gbx), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:41 (two years ago) Permalink

lol what is this Harry Potterless movie, Dudley Goes to Camp?

― Οὖτις, Friday, January 22, 2016 11:37 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Eddie Redmayne in magical early-20th Century NYC!

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:43 (two years ago) Permalink

a shed full of set photos and such for Rogue One

http://imgur.com/a/N75pb

Donnie Yen apparently tweeted some new helmets, get excited

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Thursday, 28 January 2016 12:58 (two years ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

http://io9.gizmodo.com/why-rogue-one-is-as-important-to-star-wars-as-episode-v-1761067899

(maybe onus is a better word)

Sith Dog (El Tomboto), Thursday, 25 February 2016 15:20 (two years ago) Permalink

Presumably, this will also be the first Star Wars movie not to include a Jedi (or possibly even anyone with Force sensitivity). Perhaps most importantly, it’s going to be the first Star Wars film without a Skywalker at its center.

I guess the writer hasn't seen the two Ewok movies?

Tuomas, Thursday, 25 February 2016 15:57 (two years ago) Permalink

rob fuckin' bricken

980 words to say 'disney will make more movies like this if this one makes money'

Butt here is always time for the John Mayer Trio or Sting. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 25 February 2016 15:59 (two years ago) Permalink

I have a piece in the pipeline offering the counterpoint that if the movie underperforms it may affect Disney's willingness to take similar chances in the future. It's a lid blower.

Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:03 (two years ago) Permalink

Rogue One has the opportunity (maybe onus is a better word) to realize this fundamental quality of the Star Wars universe on screen—to attempt to see if the depth that has always seemed a part of the franchise is in fact real, or merely an illusion.

fyi: nothing about star wars is real

also this is a horribly formed 'sentence'

The answer depends entirely on the fate of this first stand-alone film, and thus it will shape the future of the Star Wars movies far more than the Force itself. Are the pilots of Rogue One up for this integral mission? I’m sure they’re standing by.

srs q: is english rob bricken's first language

Butt here is always time for the John Mayer Trio or Sting. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:06 (two years ago) Permalink

his entire premise is flawed bc The Phantom Menace proved you could make an absolute crap Star Wars and people will still want more

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:09 (two years ago) Permalink

also the other two prequels

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:09 (two years ago) Permalink

Rogue One: Integral Mission, winter 2018.

Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:10 (two years ago) Permalink

yeah but will people see an absolute crap star wars that doesn't have a skywalker in it

people love skywalkers dude

Butt here is always time for the John Mayer Trio or Sting. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:13 (two years ago) Permalink

you're right people unanimously think Anakin is the best part of the prequel trilogy

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:14 (two years ago) Permalink

People were very into the character of Anakin but iirc the unanimous praise was actually directed towards the actors who portrayed him.

Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:54 (two years ago) Permalink

Someone saw Rogue One footage at a Disney shereholder meeting:

Most of it was very quick. A shot of the black stormtrooper, possibly called Death Troopers as previously reported, another pic of that same style of helmet and armor but all chrome, reminiscent of Captain Phasma from The Force Awakens, an image showed two AT-ATs that had a slightly different look with the door panel on the side of the body painted a lighter beige color. And a couple cast photos were shown, one of Felicity & Diego Luna and another of Donnie Yen. The clip featured Felicity’s character on what looked like the inside of a ship or shuttle with her arm up holding on and the hatch/ramp open behind her. I wish I could remember what she said as part of the sizzle but it went by too fast. The new stormtroopers looked great. …

It all looked great, had a classic Star Wars/A New Hope look & feel. Bob Iger said that they didn’t have footage but that it & Episode VIII had been filming as previously stated. I’m definitely more excited for the film since it will be set close to the classic trilogy time & like I said it definitely had a similar look/feel.

painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture (DavidM), Saturday, 5 March 2016 14:34 (two years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

a burning moisture vaporator? jesus fuck.

how's life, Thursday, 7 April 2016 01:20 (two years ago) Permalink

You a fan of moisture vaporators?

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 7 April 2016 03:07 (two years ago) Permalink

btw Han Solo has a Wikipedia page

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 16:51 (one week ago) Permalink

Ive edited the fucker before. Quite aware.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 16:52 (one week ago) Permalink

Even if Han were real all ive read suugests this is as much a biopic as Cheadle's Miles Davis flick

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 16:54 (one week ago) Permalink

Opening crawl: "Han Solo is a character in the Star Wars franchise. Han is a pilot from the planet Corellia, who is depicted as the second owner of the Millennium Falcon after winning..."

jmm, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 16:57 (one week ago) Permalink

Ok lol

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 16:58 (one week ago) Permalink

was hoping for a Napoleon Solo crossover

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 17:00 (one week ago) Permalink

I'm not the biggest fan of filling in every gap which is why I'm not amped for this like I was for Ep 8 but i am totally going to see it anyway

this seems to describe 95% of the SW fanbase

even the "positive" reviews of this one are stuffed with qualifiers

Simon H., Wednesday, 16 May 2018 17:08 (one week ago) Permalink

brand loyalty is the stuff of studio dreams, this is still gonna make a jillion dollars

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 17:10 (one week ago) Permalink

back to the trough, sheeple!

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 17:10 (one week ago) Permalink

At least they haven't given Howard his own new trilogy yet.

nashwan, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 17:35 (one week ago) Permalink

no interest in this. VIII showed they have no interest in telling new stories, just in remaking or referencing the OT. it financial sense, it is their big investment, by idolizing the OT they add value to their brand. so they will do this OT spinoff movie, they will do an Obi Wan movie, maybe a Yoda movie, and they will do a bunch more OT referencing stuff in IX because that is what they do.

the post-Lucas films are obsessed with the OT. they are constantly referencing the OT and entire arcs of the films are lifted directly from the OT. people love the nostalgia for the OT, thus the movies are wholly about OT Love. even the "bold and risky" VIII was mostly lifted from the OT films.

maybe they will accidentally do something decent from time to time (Rogue One) but on the whole they don't offer much. i saw Woody Harrelson in a Planet of the Apes movie recently and thought "Yep, that is actor Woody Harrelson". i can easily see myself watching this saying "Yep that is Donald Glover dressed up like Lando." here we are doing a Star Wars. the new films are fan service, they are cosplay. they are product. like Mark Hamill's performance in the last one, it is closer to a skit filmed for a sci fi convention than the original movies.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 20:51 (one week ago) Permalink

Surprise!

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 20:53 (one week ago) Permalink

fwiw, i haven't felt real affection for Star Wars in 30+ years, but I was moved by Mark Hamill's performance in VIII. Perhaps in part by the way Luke's exile mirrored his exile from stardom.

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 20:54 (one week ago) Permalink

At least they haven't given Howard his own new trilogy yet.


Was thinking exactly the same thing this morning, I just finished the Lindsay Ellis videos on the making of The Hobbit and I thought, wow, the whole Disney Star Wars thing could be so much worse.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:01 (one week ago) Permalink

I don't know, I thought Last Jedi was self-referencing done right, by making you reassess some of the assumptions and lore from the OT.

xxxp

silverfish, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:04 (one week ago) Permalink

They should do a young everybody movie, like Muppet babies.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:05 (one week ago) Permalink

Baby Death Stars

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:07 (one week ago) Permalink

fwiw, i haven't felt real affection for Star Wars in 30+ years, but I was moved by Mark Hamill's performance in VIII. Perhaps in part by the way Luke's exile mirrored his exile from stardom.

This is the first thing I've read that kind of makes me want to rewatch VIII.

Simon H., Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:08 (one week ago) Permalink

I don’t really compute Adam’s post at all re: VIII tbf

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:10 (one week ago) Permalink

Morbs is otm, Hamill as cranky exile was the best thing going in that film.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:19 (one week ago) Permalink

Perhaps in part by the way Luke's exile mirrored his exile from stardom

I bet Hamill is very comfortable with his distance from stardom - he's the busiest working actor (the only busy actor!) from the original trilogy, and if he wants a dose of adulation he can do a convention somewhere in the world four days out of every seven.

(it was probably a mixture of choice and circumstance over the decades for him, as it was for Luke - but one doubts he's felt unfortunate since, say, 1993.)

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:38 (one week ago) Permalink

i saw Woody Harrelson in a Planet of the Apes movie recently and thought "Yep, that is actor Woody Harrelson". i can easily see myself watching this saying "Yep that is Donald Glover dressed up like Lando."

Spoilers the actor Woody Harrelson is also in this.

I agree that Adam's take on The Last Jedi is, er, idiosyncratic.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:41 (one week ago) Permalink

Hamill's like one of the only people associated with this franchise who I legit respect/have some fondness for. He seems like a pretty smart, well balanced guy.

still ain't seeing VIII tho

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:41 (one week ago) Permalink

you wouldn’t like it, there’s no death star

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:43 (one week ago) Permalink

The death star is in our hearts

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 16 May 2018 23:02 (one week ago) Permalink

It's in there, it's just very small.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 23:03 (one week ago) Permalink

I want shakey to watch it and join us in realizing that Mr Bruneau is off the money

El Tomboto, Thursday, 17 May 2018 00:04 (six days ago) Permalink

nah, adam otm

all the potentially interesting stuff that's dangled in front of the audience in ep viii (maybe rey and/or kylo will switch sides! maybe the jedi order SHOULD be burned down!) gets swept away by the end in favour of resetting the status quo

essentially all that's changed between the beginning of the movie and the end is that luke is dead, there are less rebels than there were before, and the main cast is all in the same place

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:29 (six days ago) Permalink

and there's not even a death star ffs

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 12:29 (six days ago) Permalink

the Jedi order IS burned down, in favour of a decentralised system placing power in the hands of the worker

presumably JJ Abrams will ignore that and anything else interesting abt TLJ, but that's fine, I'll never see it

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:02 (six days ago) Permalink

I want all kinds of crazy simultaneous plots and shenanigoats going on all throughout IX, then in the last five minutes Jedi Master Stableboy from the end of VIII saves the galaxy.

THERE IS NO PHIL D. THERE IS ONLY LIZ (Phil D.), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:06 (six days ago) Permalink

Ep 9 is going to end with all of the planets being destroyed and then the surviving Jedi (all 3 of them) piling into an escape POD and warping to another galaxy, where they speed towards mysterious planet Earth circa 1901 to begin anew.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:09 (six days ago) Permalink

lol at autocorrect

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:14 (six days ago) Permalink

three jedi hurtling through space in a paperback book with a weirdly greasy-feeling cover

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:15 (six days ago) Permalink

lol

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 17 May 2018 13:19 (six days ago) Permalink

the Jedi order IS burned down, in favour of a decentralised system placing power in the hands of the worker

tbf the only thing that actually burns down is a big tree - the jedi's holy books are preserved in the falcon at the end so those plucky force-sensitive workers coyuld easily find themselves yoked to the jedi order again if jj abrams wills it

martin short's interiors (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 17 May 2018 14:30 (six days ago) Permalink

the jedi's holy books are preserved in the falcon at the end

Was hoping these were just Chewie's Dejarik rulebooks.

nashwan, Thursday, 17 May 2018 21:41 (six days ago) Permalink

So this week Disney announced that the next Star Wars Celebration convention is going to be in Chicago at McCormick Place rather than in Orlando or L.A./Anaheim as most of the previous ones have been. The Venn diagram of SW fans/MAGA chuds is now saying they won't go because CHICAGO IS A LAWLESS HELLHOLE. Like, compared to Florida.

Fine by me. Shorter lines for everything if these fuccbois don't go.

THERE IS NO PHIL D. THERE IS ONLY LIZ (Phil D.), Friday, 18 May 2018 13:51 (five days ago) Permalink

Haha, every time my mom comes to visit her dumb friends (she has smart friends, too) are always worried for her safety.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 18 May 2018 13:54 (five days ago) Permalink

I mean McCormick Place is basically Thunderdome when you really stop to think about it.

THERE IS NO PHIL D. THERE IS ONLY LIZ (Phil D.), Friday, 18 May 2018 13:54 (five days ago) Permalink

The Lucas museum is going up in Chicago is it not?

YouTube_-_funy_cats.flv (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, 18 May 2018 13:58 (five days ago) Permalink

No, it got run out of town!

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 18 May 2018 14:00 (five days ago) Permalink

Lucas went to check the city out and got murdered it was a pretty sad story.

omar little, Friday, 18 May 2018 14:01 (five days ago) Permalink

Anyway, everything's cool:

http://www.materials-talks.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/no-guns.jpg

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 18 May 2018 14:02 (five days ago) Permalink

So this week Disney announced that the next Star Wars Celebration convention is going to be in Chicago at McCormick Place rather than in Orlando or L.A./Anaheim as most of the previous ones have been. The Venn diagram of SW fans/MAGA chuds is now saying they won't go because CHICAGO IS A LAWLESS HELLHOLE. Like, compared to Florida.

Caught a glimpse of some comments on a local Maryland news story recently: "they're trying to turn Baltimore into the next Chicago!" When Fox gives them their talking points, they sure do stick to them.

how's life, Friday, 18 May 2018 14:09 (five days ago) Permalink

So this week Disney announced that the next Star Wars Celebration convention is going to be in Chicago at McCormick Place rather than in Orlando or L.A./Anaheim as most of the previous ones have been. The Venn diagram of SW fans/MAGA chuds is now saying they won't go because CHICAGO IS A LAWLESS HELLHOLE. Like, compared to Florida.

I live in Orlando and a cosplayer and I were laughing at how ridiculous the concern is. also there's way more to do in Chicago than Borelando

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 19 May 2018 13:11 (four days ago) Permalink

SW people should just cosplay and pretend lawless hellhole Chicago is Mos Eisley.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 19 May 2018 13:40 (four days ago) Permalink

I've spent my fair share of time in Chicago and nothing there has ever worried me as much as crossing eight lanes of traffic in Orlando.

THERE IS NO PHIL D. THERE IS ONLY LIZ (Phil D.), Saturday, 19 May 2018 14:03 (four days ago) Permalink

Orlando's traffic sitch is horrible at the moment too because of the I-4 expansion.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 19 May 2018 14:26 (four days ago) Permalink


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