Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

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We have less than a year to figure out everything that happens in Rogue One, folks. To reiterate:

Felicity Jones
Mads Mikkelsen
Ben Mendelsohn
Alan Tudyk
Donnie Yen
Forest Whitaker
Diego Luna

Directed by the Monsters + Godzilla guy.

I'm piling the Lord & Miller Young Solo film in here too because no kidding, Rogue One is only eleven months away. That's crazy! As stated elsewhere I predict Franco the Younger gets the part.

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 02:12 (two years ago) Permalink

I have been all about Ben Mendelsohn in pretty much everything he's ever been in, I see no reason to stop now

Monsters/Godzilla director has cornered visually-stunning-yet-disappointing like no other though, so I have ~concerns~

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 January 2016 02:17 (two years ago) Permalink

The screenplay looks to be a terrible hodgepodge. Story by an ILM technician, first draft by the guy behind Book of Eli and After Earth, second draft by the guy behind About A Boy and The Golden Compass. Then Christopher McQuarrie, who writes Tom Cruise movies, was brought in at the last minute to rewrite all of it. Yikes, people. Also, score by Not John Williams (Alexandre Desplat, whom I only know because of Wes Anderson movies).

Apparently they filmed in the Maldives (!?!) and Mads Mikkelsen is playing Felicity Jones' dad, who is also the Death Star's Oppenheimer.

Now, is Alan Tudyk going to be playing some sadistic lickspittle of an Imperial officer, or a cantina buffoon with a silly accent?

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 05:23 (two years ago) Permalink

Rumors of Vader being cast for this as well with J E Jones returning to add the voice.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:05 (two years ago) Permalink

Every attempt I've made to explain this movie's existence to non-hardcore fans has been a disaster. "What do you mean it has nothing to do with the last Star Wars? And nothing to do with the originals either? That's stupid. Why would they do that?"

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:12 (two years ago) Permalink

And I mean that literally. Literally every single person I've talked to about this who doesn't identify as a Star Wars fan is confused.

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:14 (two years ago) Permalink

The common link in all your failed conversations...

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 22 January 2016 13:23 (two years ago) Permalink

TBH, I'm a bit confused too why this is set in the timeline of the original trilogy and not somewhere between RotJ and TFA...? What's the point of going over things on which we already know how they happened, instead of fleshing out some of the unknown events in the 30 year gap between episodes VI and VII?

Tuomas, Friday, 22 January 2016 13:37 (two years ago) Permalink

We don't know HOW they happened though, just broadly what happened. I don't care when they set it really, as long as they come up with an interesting story and some cool new characters. But that's the hard bit.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Friday, 22 January 2016 13:45 (two years ago) Permalink

non-hardcore fans OTM

Christopher McQuarrie did write a Tom Cruise movie that had a very good first 40 minutes (Edge of Tomorrow) and, a long time ago in a Hollywood far far away, the overcelebrated but cute The Usual Suspects. What the hell is a Rogue One?

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 22 January 2016 15:25 (two years ago) Permalink

It's a one that has gone rogue

latebloomer, Friday, 22 January 2016 16:46 (two years ago) Permalink

you mean a 7

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 16:49 (two years ago) Permalink

A one with an combover

latebloomer, Friday, 22 January 2016 16:51 (two years ago) Permalink

Man-bun One

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Friday, 22 January 2016 16:55 (two years ago) Permalink

I did like that promo cast pic they put out.

http://cdn.idigitaltimes.com/sites/idigitaltimes.com/files/2016/01/06/star-wars-rogue-one.jpg

Where my reactions were:

1. Whoa, this looks different. This looks cool. Okay, I can dig this.

2. Alright, Donnie Yen in a SW flick. Let's do this.

3. Man, Felicity Jones is...very, very attractive.

Really not looking forward to the two months of "they don't look like bothans!"/"they're not bothans, idiot; that was the 2nd one" exchanges tho.

Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Friday, 22 January 2016 16:57 (two years ago) Permalink

I wonder how much Rogue One was either pitched or constructed years ago as the studio(s) hedging their bets against a new SW flick bombing out? "Ok, folks might not dig the new chapter, so let's play it extra-safe and set it back in OT times"

Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:00 (two years ago) Permalink

what's with that gaudy red plate that guy is wearing? clashing so sharply with the nice dull palette of brown and grey they have going on. tone it down, buddy!

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:17 (two years ago) Permalink

is this Star Wars or a Lisa Frank lunchbox?

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:17 (two years ago) Permalink

looks like mandalorian armor

﷽ (diamonddave85), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:18 (two years ago) Permalink

the excitement coming from that picture is just too overwhelming

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:20 (two years ago) Permalink

this is gonna be GREAT so stoked

Οὖτις, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:23 (two years ago) Permalink

haha, sorry, i'll stop

Karl Malone, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:24 (two years ago) Permalink

I'd like to think the movie will just be that photograph Clutch Cargo-ed for two hours.

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:25 (two years ago) Permalink

they should really carry this idea through to other franchises. imagine a Harry Potter without magic and without Harry Potter or any of his friends. GOLD!

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:30 (two years ago) Permalink

is that a promo still for the new USA series Stargate: Alderaan?

nomar, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:30 (two years ago) Permalink

xpost I don't know if you're being ironical but there's a Harry Potterless Harry Potter movie coming out later this year.

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:32 (two years ago) Permalink

Star Wars: Redecorating the Kitchen in a Subleased Ranch House in Newport, CT

Karl Malone, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:34 (two years ago) Permalink

xpost i was not being ironic, lol i must have forgot that is actually happening

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:36 (two years ago) Permalink

lol what is this Harry Potterless movie, Dudley Goes to Camp?

Οὖτις, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:37 (two years ago) Permalink

Star Wars: Weekend Shift Workers Pausing To Watch the Chiefs Lose Thanks To Andy Reid's Clock Management

nomar, Friday, 22 January 2016 17:37 (two years ago) Permalink

cast photo looks like another sw w women/minority characters driving the action, so that's a point in its favor already

jason waterfalls (gbx), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:41 (two years ago) Permalink

lol what is this Harry Potterless movie, Dudley Goes to Camp?

― Οὖτις, Friday, January 22, 2016 11:37 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Eddie Redmayne in magical early-20th Century NYC!

Meat Sheet (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 January 2016 17:43 (two years ago) Permalink

a shed full of set photos and such for Rogue One

http://imgur.com/a/N75pb

Donnie Yen apparently tweeted some new helmets, get excited

service desk hardman (El Tomboto), Thursday, 28 January 2016 12:58 (two years ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

http://io9.gizmodo.com/why-rogue-one-is-as-important-to-star-wars-as-episode-v-1761067899

(maybe onus is a better word)

Sith Dog (El Tomboto), Thursday, 25 February 2016 15:20 (two years ago) Permalink

Presumably, this will also be the first Star Wars movie not to include a Jedi (or possibly even anyone with Force sensitivity). Perhaps most importantly, it’s going to be the first Star Wars film without a Skywalker at its center.

I guess the writer hasn't seen the two Ewok movies?

Tuomas, Thursday, 25 February 2016 15:57 (two years ago) Permalink

rob fuckin' bricken

980 words to say 'disney will make more movies like this if this one makes money'

Butt here is always time for the John Mayer Trio or Sting. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 25 February 2016 15:59 (two years ago) Permalink

I have a piece in the pipeline offering the counterpoint that if the movie underperforms it may affect Disney's willingness to take similar chances in the future. It's a lid blower.

Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:03 (two years ago) Permalink

Rogue One has the opportunity (maybe onus is a better word) to realize this fundamental quality of the Star Wars universe on screen—to attempt to see if the depth that has always seemed a part of the franchise is in fact real, or merely an illusion.

fyi: nothing about star wars is real

also this is a horribly formed 'sentence'

The answer depends entirely on the fate of this first stand-alone film, and thus it will shape the future of the Star Wars movies far more than the Force itself. Are the pilots of Rogue One up for this integral mission? I’m sure they’re standing by.

srs q: is english rob bricken's first language

Butt here is always time for the John Mayer Trio or Sting. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:06 (two years ago) Permalink

his entire premise is flawed bc The Phantom Menace proved you could make an absolute crap Star Wars and people will still want more

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:09 (two years ago) Permalink

also the other two prequels

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:09 (two years ago) Permalink

Rogue One: Integral Mission, winter 2018.

Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:10 (two years ago) Permalink

yeah but will people see an absolute crap star wars that doesn't have a skywalker in it

people love skywalkers dude

Butt here is always time for the John Mayer Trio or Sting. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:13 (two years ago) Permalink

you're right people unanimously think Anakin is the best part of the prequel trilogy

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:14 (two years ago) Permalink

People were very into the character of Anakin but iirc the unanimous praise was actually directed towards the actors who portrayed him.

Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 February 2016 16:54 (two years ago) Permalink

Someone saw Rogue One footage at a Disney shereholder meeting:

Most of it was very quick. A shot of the black stormtrooper, possibly called Death Troopers as previously reported, another pic of that same style of helmet and armor but all chrome, reminiscent of Captain Phasma from The Force Awakens, an image showed two AT-ATs that had a slightly different look with the door panel on the side of the body painted a lighter beige color. And a couple cast photos were shown, one of Felicity & Diego Luna and another of Donnie Yen. The clip featured Felicity’s character on what looked like the inside of a ship or shuttle with her arm up holding on and the hatch/ramp open behind her. I wish I could remember what she said as part of the sizzle but it went by too fast. The new stormtroopers looked great. …

It all looked great, had a classic Star Wars/A New Hope look & feel. Bob Iger said that they didn’t have footage but that it & Episode VIII had been filming as previously stated. I’m definitely more excited for the film since it will be set close to the classic trilogy time & like I said it definitely had a similar look/feel.

painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture (DavidM), Saturday, 5 March 2016 14:34 (two years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

a burning moisture vaporator? jesus fuck.

how's life, Thursday, 7 April 2016 01:20 (two years ago) Permalink

You a fan of moisture vaporators?

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 7 April 2016 03:07 (two years ago) Permalink

gimme the Maz Kanata movie

mh, Wednesday, 6 June 2018 00:28 (two months ago) Permalink

"meet cute" is a staple of screwball comedy, like the one where Jean Arthur gets dunked by a fur coat thrown out the window

― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius),

first Mitchell Leisen allusion in a Star Wars thread

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 6 June 2018 00:33 (two months ago) Permalink

Would watch

A DENGAR stand-alone STAR WARS film where he's in a Salieri/Mozart rivalry with Boba Fett.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 7, 2018

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 7 June 2018 02:19 (two months ago) Permalink

This is the kind of nonsense this universe needs

YouTube_-_funy_cats.flv (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 7 June 2018 02:23 (two months ago) Permalink

when the head of the pirates took off her helmet, I first wondered if she was supposed to be the long-lost daughter of Harrelson and Newton's characters but I may have been the only one

This was my first thought, I guess because she looked like she could be their daughter, and also because the scene was played like a dramatic unmasking, like we're supposed to be surprised who's underneath the helmet... and it turns out to be someone we've never seen or heard before, and neither have the protagonists. I guess the idea was for the viewer to be shocked, "Oh my god, it's a girl!", a la the first Metroid game, but the SW universe is so full of ass-kicking young women, it's baffling if they thought this would shock us.

What made it worse that this was soon followed by another dramatic unmasking that was almost equally baffling. Tho I've watched some of Clone Wars, I didn't know they'd brought Maul back there, but the idea that he's alive didn't really bother me, 'cos you could clearly see his robotic legs in the hologram, and Vader had already survived worse. No, what was baffling was that they decided to bring back a character who was last seen in a movie almost 20 years ago, and who most people remember as a barely-vocal muscle of the big bad, but now all of a sudden he's the mastermind leader of a crime syndicate. Is Maul still working for Palpatine, or has he developed an intelligence of his own and changed from a lackey to a don? Maybe all of this is explained in the Solo sequels (if they ever get made), but as a revelation in this movie it was completely disconnected from anything that happened before it. As cliched as that would've been, I would've preferred if the mysterious boss had been revealed to be, like, Val or Rio, who'd merely faked his death. Or at least someone who had actually appeared or been mentioned in the movie before.

Another nitpicky thing that bugged me was the whole concept of coaxium. Like, we're told this an extremely important resource, as IIRC coaxium was said be the only fuel that allows starships to go into hyperdrive. And Kessel is explicitly stated to be the only known place where you can mine unrefined coaxium, which then gets turned into the fuel. So why is this crucially important mining site controlled by 20 or 30 crime syndicate thugs, who get easily overthrown by some rebelling slaves? You'd think the Empire would find the only source for hyperdrive fuel to be an extremely important site, so why hadn't they taken control of it ages ago?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2018 08:28 (one month ago) Permalink

The scene with the mysterious boss is not in any way about "fill in the following entry in the Crimson Dawn org chart" - it's about Q'ira's actions and her control of her future.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 18 June 2018 09:11 (one month ago) Permalink

Well yeah, but in that case it could've just been a completely new character instead of Maul. If the only point of him was to serve that function in Ki'Ras character arc, then bringing back a dead character who seems completely out of place in that role was a bad choice, cos it makes the viewer focus on Maul, and what his survival and leadership of Crimson Dawn implies, instead of her.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2018 10:00 (one month ago) Permalink

i did kinda wonder about the coaxium being kept behind triple-locked vaults etc in every other place it exists but then there's this coaxium REFINERY where you can just wheel it up in a dolly and a desert dude comes up and says "thanks, hot stuff" and goes back to making porridge while u chill on the beach. but like, there's probably a reason? that we are not shown? which is fine??

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 18 June 2018 10:55 (one month ago) Permalink

They died on the Kessel Run - the rest of the film is Lost-type personal revelations

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 18 June 2018 11:07 (one month ago) Permalink

i did kinda wonder about the coaxium being kept behind triple-locked vaults etc in every other place it exists but then there's this coaxium REFINERY where you can just wheel it up in a dolly and a desert dude comes up and says "thanks, hot stuff" and goes back to making porridge while u chill on the beach. but like, there's probably a reason? that we are not shown?

It seemed pretty obvious that particular refinery was a clandestine/illegal operation, since Crimson Dawn was a regular customer? Whereas the triple-locked coaxium was official Empire product, most likely produced in hi-security Empire refineries. (Hence Beckett never suggested raiding some Empire facility to pay his coaxium debt to Dryden Vos, the train heist seems to have been a one-off lucky chance that couldn't be repeated.) I still don't get why Kessel was such a low-security place and/or not controlled by the Empire tho? Clearly the Empire was buying stuff from Kessel too, judging by how fast that star destroyed appeared to stop the Millenium Falcon from getting away.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2018 11:27 (one month ago) Permalink

yes, that was my point :)

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 18 June 2018 11:46 (one month ago) Permalink

The Empire was a more half-assed operation than we initially thought

mh, Monday, 18 June 2018 12:37 (one month ago) Permalink

or that some cultures in this big universe have a different relationship with coaxium than the state military juntas of the empire and the rebellion

though maybe not; the various species and planets and cultures of star wars have a curiously consistent set of values. apart from lol the ewoks

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 18 June 2018 14:14 (one month ago) Permalink

they totally ate some stormtroopers

mh, Monday, 18 June 2018 14:28 (one month ago) Permalink

It may be a while before we see any more movies like Solo: A Star Wars Story out of Lucasfilm. Sources with knowledge of the situation tell Collider that Lucasfilm has decided to put plans for more A Star Wars Story spinoff movies on hold, instead opting to focus their attention on Star Wars: Episode IX and what the next trilogy of Star Wars films will be after that film. Sources tell us that the previously rumored Obi-Wan movie was in active development, but those who were working on the film are no longer involved. It was recently reported that Logan filmmaker James Mangold was in early talks to write and direct the Boba Fett film, but that was before Solo’s release.

This news comes in the wake of the disappointing launch of Solo, which was only Lucasfilm’s second A Star Wars Story spinoff, but which received mixed-positive reviews and fell short of box office expectations. The film scored $84.4 million on opening weekend and has grossed $192.8 million domestically (and $339.5 million worldwide) in four weeks, which is nothing to scoff at but is far, far lower than the performance of other Star Wars movies at this benchmark. For comparison’s sake, Rogue One opened to $155 million and had grossed $424 million domestic by Week 4. To put it simply, while Solo did fine by blockbuster standards, it wasn’t the “event” that Lucasfilm expected out of a brand new Star Wars movie.

Number None, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 19:36 (one month ago) Permalink

Both Star Wars Story films are much more enjoyable than The Last Jedi

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 19:39 (one month ago) Permalink

Actual crazy talk, there.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 20:09 (one month ago) Permalink

I just re-watched TLJ the other night. There are parts I like, but it's kind of a train wreck.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 20:12 (one month ago) Permalink

the lure of Rogue One was pretty obvious. it's an easy sell for a story ("This is how the Rebellion got the plans for the Death Star"), and the locations and action scenes highlighted in the ad campaign were vv enticing. And in the end the film was excellent enough that word-of-mouth was a major part of its success. This was a spinoff that made as much as The Dark Knight. As a film it had a reason for being made, the story was already hinted at in the original films, and it was done in a pretty interesting way. Visually it was pretty outstanding, probably the best-looking SW film imo.

w/Solo, there were lots of issues from the outside looking in that had nothing to do with its troubled production (not the least of which was the campaign never gave a decent idea of what the film was about, and it looked a bit cheap), but ultimately I'm not sure how much SW fans cared to see Han Solo played by a random younger Alden/Ansel/Taron actor (which would be a problem for anyone trying to play younger versions of the three major characters from the original series tbh.)

omar little, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 20:15 (one month ago) Permalink

To put it simply, while Solo did fine by blockbuster standards, it wasn’t the “event” that Lucasfilm expected out of a brand new Star Wars movie

Don't get the impression Lucasfilm were expecting it quite like that given how much they sheltered it pre-release plus just putting it out less than six months after a major new episode in the first place. They lowered expectations intentionally after unintended developments but perhaps also to reconfig for a more Marvel-like release schedule from now on (going by there being at least two new trilogies plus at least one more Story prequel).

nashwan, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 20:21 (one month ago) Permalink

omar otm - for a crap movie, solo did great!

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 21:37 (one month ago) Permalink

Rogue One had a tight direction and a well-structured plot, but the characters were paper-thin, so it was kinda hard to care about their fate. Solo is kinda the opposite, rounded characters and decent-to-excellent actors, but the plot was all over the place, with too many fanservice boxes to tick. Still liked it more than RO tho, cos it's not like any of these movies (except maybe The Last Jedi) can wow me with unexpected plot twists and idiosyncrasies, so good ensembles and nice character interplay is the best they can do.

Tuomas, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 21:47 (one month ago) Permalink

while Solo did fine by blockbuster standards

Isn't it struggling to break even?

jmm, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 21:58 (one month ago) Permalink

which would be a problem for anyone trying to play younger versions of the three major characters from the original series tbh

q.v. McGregor, Ewan

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 22:07 (one month ago) Permalink

xp: According to boxofficemojo ATM, Solo has grossed $343 million worldwide. Given a reported $250-300 million production budget, it has some ways to go before breakeven. Rule of thumb is twice the production budget. This doesn't figure the cost for the IP, $4 billion in 2012.

Chaos reigns... in my pants (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 22:10 (one month ago) Permalink

i loved Rogue One. the characters were all pretty interesting and distinct, i had no problem caring about them at the end. the intro with Jynn & her parents was brilliant. the ST films have been so bad about presenting the Empire as a personal threat you feel connected to through a lead character and this was a positive step in that direction.

another highlight was Chirrut Îmwe as a force user who doesn't say Jedi or Sith or balance the prophecy or any mumbo jumbo but actually presents and interesting and mysterious take on hackneyed material. the next movie they just photocopied Luke's Jedi journey from ESB & ROTJ and everyone sat back and said it was bold, unexpected filmmaking.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 22:15 (one month ago) Permalink

adam

flamenco blorf (BradNelson), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 22:16 (one month ago) Permalink

Did Rey lose a hand? No, so.

nashwan, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 22:22 (one month ago) Permalink

one of the main complaints about TLJ was that it wasn't enough like ESB, Luke was depressed and didn't really train her. fans on the whole might've been more happy if it was like TFA which true enough was a carbon copy of Episode IV

Nhex, Wednesday, 20 June 2018 22:28 (one month ago) Permalink

the force shit in rogue one was among the most embarrassing things about it iirc

flamenco blorf (BradNelson), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 22:30 (one month ago) Permalink

hah did Rey lose a hand. if you tweak one thing in a wholly lifted plot it is brave and bold. it was a carbon copy of ESB and ROTJ as much as TFA was a carbon copy of ANH. Luke is Yoda/Obi Wan. he is the hermit who does not fight (Yoda "Wars not make one great") and trains Rey, the young and anxious Jedi apprentice. she is the Luke here. she goes to an isolated place to learn from a non-warrior who is secretly a warrior. she goes to a hole in a tree just like Luke did. she learns to lift rocks just like Luke did. she leaves with the training unfinished like Luke did. yes her hand did not get cut off. apparently making one change while doing everything else the same is bold and new. but then she does ROTJ. she shows up in handcuffs to the enemy base like Luke in ROTJ. she ends up in a three way conversation like Luke in ROTJ. she fights against both bad guys and sees the one she is connected to kill his master like Luke in ROTJ. because this happens in the 2nd film and not the 3rd film people think this is stunning and new and brilliant. it is not. it is the same plot just shifted one film over.

similarly most of the things Luke does are based on Yoda/Obi Wan in ANH/ESB. Yoda is introduced laughing at the idea of a warrior and saying "Wars not make one great" the unwilling teacher, Luke does that here. Obi Wan force projects onto two different planets in ESB and Luke does that. Obi Wan lies to his apprentice in ESB and Luke does that. Obi Wan dies in a sacrificial last stand to a Jedi-Sith lighstaber battle on the other side of a slowly closing door and Luke does that.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 21 June 2018 00:03 (one month ago) Permalink

them smashing a star destroyer into another one has already been done in 2 or 3 other Star Wars films. people kept saying the lightspeed ramming thing was brilliant and never before done. lol ok

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 21 June 2018 00:04 (one month ago) Permalink

is being a force ghost the same as force projecting

flamenco blorf (BradNelson), Thursday, 21 June 2018 00:05 (one month ago) Permalink

ofc

they smashed a spaceship into another spaceship FASTER THAN ANYONE HAS BEFORE

genius

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 21 June 2018 00:05 (one month ago) Permalink

Obi Wan sends his force projection across Hoth and Dagoba in ESB

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 21 June 2018 00:06 (one month ago) Permalink

i get it now, you're trolling

Nhex, Thursday, 21 June 2018 00:18 (one month ago) Permalink

TLJ is the most interesting movie in the series since ESB

I think the Finn/Rose side story lost a little momentum but was their Cloud City moment. Could have used a shock “Vader’s coming to dinner” moment

imo the best anthology work right now is two of the comics telling pieces of the same story

mh, Thursday, 21 June 2018 01:26 (one month ago) Permalink

Best Star Wars fan theory that is both dumb and great: Luke didn’t die, he just felt really homesick after seeing the dual sunset and he force teleported home to Tatooine

mh, Thursday, 21 June 2018 01:27 (one month ago) Permalink

I like it. Everyone knows that the whole point of the sunset scene in A New Hope is that he loves being on Tatooine.

jmm, Thursday, 21 June 2018 01:33 (one month ago) Permalink

for some reason Luke can only truly come out of exile by passing through Tatooine

mh, Thursday, 21 June 2018 01:34 (one month ago) Permalink

lmao jmm

flamenco blorf (BradNelson), Thursday, 21 June 2018 01:42 (one month ago) Permalink

Adam, reading your posts about TLJ, I finally understand the trauma that the ending of Lost wreaked upon me and, more importantly, the trauma I've wreaked upon friends and loved ones any time the show has been evoked in conversation. I apologize profusely to everyone affected, and, Adam, I hope that you are also able to find peace within you one day and forgive Rian Johnson for his crimes against humanity. Namaste.

Rep. Bob Excellentfrappuccino (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 June 2018 03:39 (one month ago) Permalink

That Wee Robot That Cuts About the Death Star: A Star Wars Story
That Wean Anakin Murders Wae a Lightsaber: A Star Wars Story
That Arsepiece That Runs a 1950s Diner: A Star Wars Story
That Shite R2 Unit That Uncle Owen Didnae Buy: A Star Wars Story
Yer Da: A Star Wars Story

— Andy Kelly (@ultrabrilliant) June 21, 2018

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 21 June 2018 13:44 (one month ago) Permalink

Best Star Wars fan theory that is both dumb and great: Luke didn’t die, he just felt really homesick after seeing the dual sunset and he force teleported home to Tatooine

Also before dying Snoke actually found a way to use the cloning technology to clone himself as a younger unravaged specimen and it turns out he looks EXACTLY like Paul Bettany.

nashwan, Thursday, 21 June 2018 14:01 (one month ago) Permalink

You guys are going to turn me to the Shakey Mo side pretty soon

El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 June 2018 14:27 (one month ago) Permalink

All of the new characters are clones of characters from the original trilogy, iirc. Except BB-8, which is just Yaddle running around in a robotic hamster ball.

Rep. Bob Excellentfrappuccino (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 June 2018 14:37 (one month ago) Permalink

infinite snokes

mh, Thursday, 21 June 2018 15:54 (one month ago) Permalink

https://slate.com/culture/2018/06/star-wars-fans-campaign-to-remake-the-last-jedi-explained.html

Who’s behind the remake effort?

An individual or a group that’s channeling the imagination-capturing heroism of Luke, Leia, Han, Rey, and Finn by … staying anonymous.

What do they want?

Another version of The Last Jedi—one that, according to the campaign’s Twitter account, isn’t “juvenile,” “unconscionable,” or “blasphemy.” The remaker(s) don’t have a storyline or even a protagonist in mind—they’re just certain that their fantasy version will be better than the movie that already exists. Per their plan, the remakers “will be consulting with Star Wars fans directly throughout the writing of the remake … to make a version of TLJ that is as close to universally accepted as possible.” They do acknowledge the impossibility of pleasing everyone, so they might have to prepare for a potential Remake the Remake of The Last Jedi campaign, and the Remake the Remake of the Remake of The Last Jedi campaign, and so on. Because that’s how fandom works!

As someone who loves to watch bad films I'm really hoping this happens on some level.

Van Horn Street, Saturday, 23 June 2018 22:35 (one month ago) Permalink

all the best stories are made by committee, what could possibly go wrong

topless from 11am (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 23 June 2018 22:44 (one month ago) Permalink

lol wow. should be on Star Wars 8 shit talk but yeah that's hilarious

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 23 June 2018 22:49 (one month ago) Permalink


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