i haven't been home for xmas in 10yrs, mostly because it's too much of a pain to get back there for just one day (which is all i get off). but this is actually a good thing: my mum's a pain in the ass, by older bro is a fuckface who i refuse to talk to, and my extended family are hicks.
this year i will be renting old favourite dvds, buying a ton of yum foodstuffs, and hanging out with my guy.
i also may get drunk of the bottle of mondoro asti my boss gave me for my birthday.
― Rubyredd, Saturday, 22 December 2007 20:02 (sixteen years ago) link
I will also expect many 'hot chocolate gift baskets,' socks, and possibly gift certificates to stores I never go to. Ho, ho, ho!
-- If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Saturday, 22 December 2007 19:16 (3 hours ago) Link
I actually think socks are a fine present, providing they're really nice ones. I'm frequently upgrading my sock collection. I love socks. I got my daughter-in-law three pairs of cashmere-blend polka-dot socks. Things could be MUCH MUCH worse, IACFTPWBAA.
― Beth Parker, Saturday, 22 December 2007 23:03 (sixteen years ago) link
i wish someone would buy me socks for xmas!! i really really need some, and i never have enough pairs! secret santa, if you are reading this and haven't got me a gift, now you know.
― Rubyredd, Saturday, 22 December 2007 23:05 (sixteen years ago) link
once again (third year running, woo) my parents and i are staying at home, and not even going to see relatives at all except for my childless aunt and uncle, who are both total nerds and give me $75 iTunes Store certificates on every special occasion. they are fucking great.
but when we used to see relatives, it was always a shitshow. my mom's family are all a bunch of redneck drunks and too-serious military men, and my dad's family are all super-WASP or super-tacky-Jews.
so yeah, my parents have been making wise decisions for a bit now.
― the table is the table, Saturday, 22 December 2007 23:10 (sixteen years ago) link
NONSTOP LECTURES
― get bent, Saturday, 22 December 2007 23:18 (sixteen years ago) link
I stopped at a bar and had a couple of drinks before the annual extended-family dinner/get together (where drinking in front of the Baptists would be frowned upon). It was weird sitting at a bar, drinking by myself, at 5 in the afternoon.
Also, the booze didn't last long enough to keep me from being miserable. Next year I'm bringing a flask.
― milo z, Saturday, 22 December 2007 23:35 (sixteen years ago) link
cut your hair buy new jeans "but I'm 24 years old"
― Z S, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:06 (sixteen years ago) link
you're coming to church with us on sunday, right? let me buy you some new jeans do you want some more coffee? yes, but do you want some more coffee?
a agagh;asldkgfh
― Z S, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:07 (sixteen years ago) link
let me buy you some new jeans
^^ yes, this. or shoes, or sweatshirt, or coat. i am eternally too raggedy for my family.
i leave tomorrow morning for just five days... going to need to pick up some weed, definitely, and it's a good thing i can drink with my family or else i'd be much less good humoured. also planning on going to bed early and reading throughout my "vacation" unless i'm out with pals. loitering around at home, getting suckered into tedious domino games is UNACCEPTABLE. also good this year: bringing a laptop, but i don't think either of my parents has wifi.
― ian, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:21 (sixteen years ago) link
no WiFi would mean no dice for me. i forced my parents to get it right before i took a semester off.
― the table is the table, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:24 (sixteen years ago) link
ha. at least they have wired innernets. my mom was dial up until about two years ago!
― ian, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:33 (sixteen years ago) link
my parents are STILL on dial-up. it takes an average of about 5mins to load a page.
― Rubyredd, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:34 (sixteen years ago) link
i'm going to watch approximately 9458 episodes of law & order.
― bell_labs, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:36 (sixteen years ago) link
and animal planet and the food network. oh god how i miss cable tv.
― bell_labs, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:38 (sixteen years ago) link
My parents had the internet and then gave it up about 6 months ago. I don't think my mom touched it once. Christmas would be way more fun if I get shitfaced like any other normal person at a family gathering, but instead it's a stone cold sober reflection on the glory of Jesus. No internet, no booze - I'm just going to bust through Tropic of Cancer and Capricorn and smirk at everyone.
― Z S, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:39 (sixteen years ago) link
our christmas dinner is veal ossu buco which i am very excited for. though i have never gotten into sucking out the marrow.
― bell_labs, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:41 (sixteen years ago) link
my housemate has cable, but my parents don't, which is probably for the best. today, i read all the back issues of Harper's and the New Yorker that I missed.
― the table is the table, Sunday, 23 December 2007 00:44 (sixteen years ago) link
I'm heading off to my parents place interstate this evening for 3 days at home, which is a bit daft because neither of my brothers or any of their little kiddies will be in attendance; my nan had a stroke and has only just come out of hospital so is too sick to go anywhere, and me and my dad both lost our jobs a couple weeks ago so no one has any money.
Oh, and my b/f cant come with me so I'll be without him on xmas day.
Whee.
― Trayce, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:09 (sixteen years ago) link
i was making muffins. dad came and pushed me out of the way to get to the dishwasher. i said 'hey, don't push' and he said 'buzz the hell off' and went in his room and slammed the door. mom came into the kitchen five minutes later and told me, very seriously, that i had offended my dad and that he didn't feel like seeing me right then. 'okay' i said. 'this is such a disappointment,' mom replied.
― remy bean, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:15 (sixteen years ago) link
i am a barely-contained ball of punching
― remy bean, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:16 (sixteen years ago) link
:-/
my parents, unable to fit both a turkey and much else into our tiny fridge, have turned an entire room of the house into some sort of cooling-plant. not going in there again. *sniffs, coughs, blows nose*
― Just got offed, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:18 (sixteen years ago) link
This thread is hilarious.
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:20 (sixteen years ago) link
and also tragic
― Rubyredd, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:22 (sixteen years ago) link
I am always amazed that you're on speaking terms with your family, remy, much less willing to visit them in person.
― milo z, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:30 (sixteen years ago) link
i know. and in spite of the way these threads make it seem, we are actually really close.
― remy bean, Sunday, 23 December 2007 01:34 (sixteen years ago) link
Good, because I was going to offer to adopt you. We'd have to build an addition on the house, though. Could get pricey.
― Beth Parker, Sunday, 23 December 2007 22:30 (sixteen years ago) link
My parents got wireless internet, omg. My parents got DIGITAL CABLE, OMG!
― dan m, Sunday, 23 December 2007 22:32 (sixteen years ago) link
my grandparents are more internet savvy than my parents
― latebloomer, Sunday, 23 December 2007 22:50 (sixteen years ago) link
We can't come up with a movie that we all want (or are even willing) to see. Kite Runner is in the lead.
― wanko ergo sum, Sunday, 23 December 2007 22:58 (sixteen years ago) link
12 hours with 600 barking/fighting dogs, overdone xmas motifs galore, "salad" (comprising lettuce and cubes of Coon cheese) and a raft of nutbar tory relatives whining about the Labor government's first four weeks in power and how the country's already gone down the toilet. Wish me luck!
― Autumn Almanac, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:01 (sixteen years ago) link
today i got the moms to play wii tennis
― remy bean, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:06 (sixteen years ago) link
cubes of Coon cheese
I have questions.
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:12 (sixteen years ago) link
Last year we took the Wii and my mother (who hates technology and anything associated with it, including emails and on/off switches) (a) sat next to, and facing away from, the television, trying her hardest to pay no attention whatsoever to what the other 12 people in the room were doing and (b) opened the curtains every two minutes because she knew sunlight fucked up the controllers and wanted to make misery of our joy. This year I'm putting her in the boot.
― Autumn Almanac, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:16 (sixteen years ago) link
comma between "we took the Wii" and "and my mother"
― Autumn Almanac, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:17 (sixteen years ago) link
yeah, i'm with ned
― roxymuzak, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:32 (sixteen years ago) link
my mom DOES in fact have a wireless innernets networks!! awesome. tonight we go out for sushi. i had to smoke up in the car at the parking lot of barnes & noble.
― ian, Sunday, 23 December 2007 23:49 (sixteen years ago) link
my mo doesn't even know what a mouse is
― roxymuzak, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:28 (sixteen years ago) link
*mom
oh and everyone (except me, for I have teh discipline) will eat too much chocolate and get sunburnt again.
― Autumn Almanac, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:40 (sixteen years ago) link
thread title says it all
― James Redd and the Blecchs, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:43 (sixteen years ago) link
Fortunately we don't do sing-alongs. Family sing-alongs + carols < suicide
― Autumn Almanac, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:44 (sixteen years ago) link
We neither thankfully. Also the nips of liquour happily do not require furtivity.
― anatol_merklich, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:46 (sixteen years ago) link
Oh, what a joyful Christmas. Last week my grandmother's neuro specialist (or whatever the specialty is called) said she has full blown Alzheimer's. My grandfather had to go to the ER yesterday, turns out he has a terrible case of shingles and probably won't be able to leave the house for two weeks. And Dec. 26 was the day my other grandmother died, eight years ago.
― milo z, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:54 (sixteen years ago) link
nb: pretty sure the last one isn't technically true. Grandma was in a coma for over a year and we got the call that she had died minutes after midnight. I'm pretty sure the hospice stalled so that it wasn't actually on Christmas.
― milo z, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:56 (sixteen years ago) link
I remember a relative dying on xmas day but I can't remember who, which sucks. It was ages ago.
― Autumn Almanac, Monday, 24 December 2007 01:58 (sixteen years ago) link
Actually it may even have happened twice, and I think it was grannies' cousins or something.
I'm very sorry to hear that, Milo. Coincidentally, my maternal grandmother had shingles, and later, Alzheimer's. She was healthy for her first 90 years, but had a very -- very -- hard final 4 years. I miss her terribly, especially this time of year (she passed away in December 2002). But things aren't always so hard under those circumstances; shingles go away with treatment, and Alzheimer's affects different people in different ways.
Best of luck. I hope everything works out well with your family.
― Daniel, Esq., Monday, 24 December 2007 02:00 (sixteen years ago) link
i celebrated w/ my family 10 days ago and will be alone this xmas. i might go surfing and then fork on this: Have you had your Christmas fuck yet?
― gr8080, Monday, 24 December 2007 02:00 (sixteen years ago) link
lol Work on this
― gr8080, Monday, 24 December 2007 02:01 (sixteen years ago) link
Oh sorry milo, I misread your post. It'll be a difficult few days; best of luck with it all. And I know this is probably easier said than done, but on Tuesday/Wednesday try to enjoy the moment.
― Autumn Almanac, Monday, 24 December 2007 02:04 (sixteen years ago) link
My in-laws (also French)are pretty bad but this is some next level sociopathic shit.
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 25 December 2019 22:04 (four years ago) link
every bit of tv & radio xmas entertainment has jokes about families having arguments at xmas and my family never do, and it's just sort of embarrassing to watch / listen with them while they make this apparently relatable reference
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 25 December 2019 22:13 (four years ago) link
^^^ cosigned (by someone whose family constantly try to passive-aggressively micromanage each other all year round)
― just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 25 December 2019 22:18 (four years ago) link
my youngest brother just deliberately through a system of condescending loans, allowances and 'gifts' made a game of monopoly last 3 hours when he should have just won after 1. he is a chaos lord. at least he was quite droll about it
i now own a carrom board, who will challenge me
― imago, Wednesday, 25 December 2019 22:26 (four years ago) link
Pretty much why monopoly is the worst game
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 25 December 2019 22:28 (four years ago) link
it is an accurate simulation of capitalism at least - it's obvious pretty much instantly who's going to win, and then you spend what feels like a lifetime going through the charade of making out like any other result is possible
― imago, Wednesday, 25 December 2019 23:02 (four years ago) link
The history of Monopoly / Landlord's Game is fascinating if anyone doesn't already know about it.https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-landlords-game/
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 25 December 2019 23:13 (four years ago) link
Geez, Tracer. That sounds awful.
― Un sang impur (Sund4r), Wednesday, 25 December 2019 23:24 (four years ago) link
Commiserations, Tracer. And congrats for not completely losing your shit at FIL.
― santa clause four (suzy), Wednesday, 25 December 2019 23:28 (four years ago) link
My mom asked my fam in a call with my 17 y/o— who is an old, wise soul— “what are you all doing for the Eve?” And the kid answered “Christmas Eve is when we all go out to dinner at a Syrian restaurant and get in a massive fight.” The nerve. I mean, yeah, last year was rough, but ay, kid, that lambshank was free for you. Respect, pls.So tonight we went to restaurant Damascus and we did indeed end up shouting at each other. Twice. I was bitter, but NOT. MY. FAULT.^this story is true, but mainly I so missed this thread. I don’t generally nip anymore, but I could use one.
― antebellum tension fatigue (Hunt3r), Saturday, 25 December 2021 05:53 (two years ago) link
On the one hand I guess it's nice that after two years we're finally seeing people again but also thank fuck for beer
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 26 December 2021 21:23 (two years ago) link
tis the season for the numbing comforts of brown liquor
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 26 December 2021 21:29 (two years ago) link
Can’t really drink much anymore so…emotional eating?
― Heatmiserlou (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 26 December 2021 21:40 (two years ago) link
Today we have all generally been reading or napping or both. But cocktails later.
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 26 December 2021 22:32 (two years ago) link
pictures!
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 26 December 2021 22:34 (two years ago) link
have moved in to coffee, in keep with brown beverages
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 27 December 2021 00:15 (two years ago) link
already dreading christmas at home, first time in 3 years, as my cousin and her brattish kids will be visiting down under way. she's also dictated that we go out for christmas lunch and i've just seen the vegetarian option is
"Meatless Farm Plant Based Festive Chicken Roast (v)(ve)"
― koogs, Sunday, 13 November 2022 17:03 (one year ago) link
(from down under way)
― koogs, Sunday, 13 November 2022 17:05 (one year ago) link
Meatless Farm Plant Based Festive Chicken Roast (v)(ve)
I didn't know Sigur Rós had a new album out
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 13 November 2022 18:44 (one year ago) link
Itchy Roooooooooast
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 13 November 2022 18:57 (one year ago) link
https://www.discogs.com/artist/505-VVm
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 13 November 2022 20:43 (one year ago) link
(turns out Meatless Farm is the brand name)
work christmas menu just been sent around and the vegetarian option in that is "Shicken". which i can't help but read as "shit chicken"
― koogs, Tuesday, 15 November 2022 15:17 (one year ago) link
i am home. they are watching the (frankly racist) Australian border control programmes on TV.
― koogs, Friday, 23 December 2022 17:25 (one year ago) link
dad counting the "English" players in the Liverpool vs Arsenal lineup
― koogs, Sunday, 24 December 2023 05:21 (four months ago) link
Sitcom text one of my folks sent me today: "Just a heads up... I have a feeling your spouse got you a very nice Xmas present"
oh... cool I have basically zero days to possibly trash my gift decision!
― Western® with Bacon Flavor, Sunday, 24 December 2023 05:39 (four months ago) link