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― horny, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 08:05 (twenty-three years ago)

No, as it happens. You asking?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 08:10 (twenty-three years ago)

i haven't ahd a fuck since last century

― Queen G (Queeng), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 10:45 (twenty-three years ago)

i didn't even get a fuck on the last leg of the tour, due to feminine issues so how the heck am i going to get one over xmas? lack of drunkenness and/or people i actually want to fuck kinda precludes it as well...

― kate, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 12:47 (twenty-three years ago)

'Feminine issues'? There's ppl out there who haven't got their RED WINGS yet, amazingly

― dave q, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 12:50 (twenty-three years ago)

kate, you have mail.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Dave, that's gross.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I wear my red wings w/pride!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Literally! I am proud to be a mutant!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:40 (twenty-three years ago)

How does a Christmas wank fit into this proposal?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:59 (twenty-three years ago)

redwings with a guy you know will not be grossed out = classic. redwings with random groupies you meet at aftershows who you still can't believe you actually PULLED without them running off shrieking "oh my god, you're hideous" and who you suspect would get weirded out as fuck at the prospect of redwings = too much of a potential ego-shredder for me to go there.

i didn't have an xmas fuck the year before, either. poo.

― kate, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate, you have a reply on your other account.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

And another reply.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 14:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus. Are there still men out there who get weirded out by red wings? Do they think they're John Ruskin or something? How do they ever get laid?

― Douglas, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

: /

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:17 (twenty-three years ago)

J.Lu, maybe people could pair up for that?

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Douglas you have lived in NYC too long. There are whole regions filled with men who are weirded about by red wings. Probably most of the women, too. This is fine though because it restores a nice ain't-we-deviant feel to the proceedings.

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

what's red wings

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Think about it, Ron.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:57 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe, but i'd rather somebody just tell me

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

can someone tell me for when i get home from work, i gotta go

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 16:25 (twenty-three years ago)

: \

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 16:51 (twenty-three years ago)

HAW HAHAHAHAHAHA

― Vic (Vic), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:07 (twenty-three years ago)

i lived around NYC all my life, and red wings gross/weird me out

manhattan don't turn what's gross into what's sexy, you know

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:17 (twenty-three years ago)

no red queen's gonna be off with my head ...

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:18 (twenty-three years ago)

ride that cotton pony off into the sunset, cowgirl

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:24 (twenty-three years ago)

i got fucked, but not ina sexual way. i'd consider mys3lf lucky if the opportunity of red wings presented itself. ugh.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 18:58 (twenty-three years ago)

my girlfriend is coming to town on friday night, if that counts at all.
yay!

― joan vich (joan vich), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

ron - red wings is when you've fucked someone who is on the rag. When one is into anal sex with males, this may cause some problems.

― Queen G (Queeng), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

actually, technically, red wings refers to ORAL SEX with a girl who is on the rag.

― kate, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

thanks g. well, oral i dunno, maybe. intercourse while having period is not a big deal, what's a little blood between friends? i'm just not sure about in my mouth, i guess i am a bit WIERDED OUT ;-)

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 01:41 (twenty-three years ago)

My Christmas will be coming sometime in mid March, sigh.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 11:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Christmas. Fuck.

― Ally C (Ally C), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 12:03 (twenty-three years ago)

so red wings has nothibng to do with muscled icehockey men then? hm...

http://www.danburymintsports.com/images/uploads/nhs01000.jpg

― erik, Wednesday, 25 December 2002 12:23 (twenty-three years ago)

HEY!!! did detroit steal our team? i swear last time i checked it was the ADIRONDACK RED WINGS. or are there another team? albany didn't rate its own hockey team cause all the decent players were drafted by southern ontario.

― kate, Wednesday, 25 December 2002 12:35 (twenty-three years ago)

wouldn't that be like red whiskers or something?

― Queen G (Queeng), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

i want to fuck 3 out of 7 of my uncles brothers.

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 23:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Thats Detroit's farm team.

― col noodles, Thursday, 26 December 2002 00:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Accidentally getting your red wings because you are an inexperienced/inebriated teenager: Classic or Dud?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 December 2002 21:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic if someone else, dud if you.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 December 2002 21:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyway does red wings really refer specifically to oral?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 December 2002 22:12 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

That was my understanding Mark yes.

(Oh the randomiser, what joy it brings)

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 10:22 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

The implications of Dan's last statement on this thread are actually horrifying...?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

SHUDDER

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

from now on, my nickname for dan is "moses."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Gross!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I know it's been two years, but surely people haven't forgotten the Dreadful Cunnilingus Story already!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

tad! dammit!

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha misternotsohungrynow)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

oh my god. I finally figured out what the term meant right before getting to the explanations....

say, would Vampires like red wings?

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 305 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

“Started by horny in December 2002,”

― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:28 (eight years ago)

we've always assumed horny did have his christmas fuck but what if he was alone? what if his christmas stocking was put to another, sadder use that day?

― omar little, Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:31 (eight years ago)

nice

― infinity (∞), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:32 (eight years ago)

Thanks, it's not really the Christmas we were hoping for but it's better than the alternative.

BTW, I don't know if it's been mentioned upthread but the annual sex after putting the kids to bed and putting presents under the tree is a great tradition.

And so is this thread.

― Lyudmila Pavlichenko (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:41 (eight years ago)

best of luck to you and your wife, DDW!

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:44 (eight years ago)

er, re the hysterectomy, not the christmas fuck

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:46 (eight years ago)

^grinch

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:53 (eight years ago)

lol dan thanks

Maybe if I show her this thread we can have the seven days of Xmas fucking?

I have a friend who, about ten years ago, made a pact with his wife to have sex at every holiday party that they attended in the month of December. You can imagine the furtive dirtiness of that quest.

They went 6 out of 7, which I thought was a pretty strong showing considering the number of bathroom and coatroom quickies that they pulled off.

― Lyudmila Pavlichenko (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 14 December 2017 23:00 (eight years ago)

haven't had any play for 11 years now, bout to make it 12. Joseph got more action

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 14 December 2017 23:15 (eight years ago)

dandy don that pact sounds splendid

― infinity (∞), Thursday, 14 December 2017 23:37 (eight years ago)

one year passes...

'tis the season...

― Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 24 December 2018 22:21 (seven years ago)

to be fuckin’

― H00kup with Jaundice Singles!! (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 24 December 2018 22:25 (seven years ago)

Christmas present! pic.twitter.com/vVYE8Tsovr
— Andrew Adonis (@Andrew_Adonis) December 25, 2018

Andrew Adonis obviously has.

― calzino, Tuesday, 25 December 2018 10:16 (seven years ago)

Once, because we thought we wouldn't get time, Christmas being a crazy time etc.

And The next day, because we were wrong about that..

― Mark G, Tuesday, 25 December 2018 13:13 (seven years ago)

Bf asked if I’d ever had sex in my parents house since moving out and the answer is definitely not

― flamboyant goon tie included, Tuesday, 25 December 2018 16:48 (seven years ago)

two years pass...

*ahem*

― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 25 December 2020 14:00 (five years ago)

*plop*

― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Friday, 25 December 2020 15:24 (five years ago)

^the og plopper has logged on

― ||||||||, Friday, 25 December 2020 15:28 (five years ago)

Specific user horny

― J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 25 December 2020 16:03 (five years ago)

and so this is Christmas
and what have you done
another year older
your finger in your bum

― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 16:04 (five years ago)

and so this is Christmas
I hope you have cum
The barely legal ones
The milfs and the hung

― J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 25 December 2020 18:43 (five years ago)

two years pass...

mind your business

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Sunday, 24 December 2023 21:05 (two years ago)

By getting busy

― Evan, Sunday, 24 December 2023 21:27 (two years ago)

with the fizzy

― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:11 (two years ago)

it is just me and this champagne bottle here after all

― imago, Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:12 (two years ago)

Christmas is a serious time for quiet contemplation and reflection.

― Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:48 (two years ago)

I can’t wait

― H.P, Sunday, 24 December 2023 23:48 (two years ago)

god dammit now i'm thinking about last christmas, that was nice

this christmas eve i've been visited by three ghosts so far

still waiting for that bastard clyde to show up

― Kate (rushomancy), Monday, 25 December 2023 01:12 (two years ago)

^^^^took me a few minutes, but I got it, excellent work Kate

― Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 25 December 2023 02:18 (two years ago)

eleven months pass...

― c u (crüt), Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:38 (one year ago)

Imagine only having one

― DJP, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:43 (one year ago)

Imagine only having one

― DJP, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:43 (one year ago)

a rare year where your hanukkah fuck & your christmas fuck can happen simultaneously

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:50 (one year ago)

Yep, now my phone bill's gonna be huge

― Riposte Malone (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:53 (one year ago)

lol

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 22:02 (one year ago)

Imagine only having one
― DJP

quality, not quantity

Yep, now my phone bill's gonna be huge
― Riposte Malone (Neanderthal)

you know, you coulda saved a lot of money by using 10-10-321

― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 25 December 2024 02:50 (one year ago)

Gold, fuckincense, and myrrh

― meow mix-a-lot (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 25 December 2024 04:18 (one year ago)

we've always assumed horny did have his christmas fuck but what if he was alone? what if his christmas stocking was put to another, sadder use that day?

Lol … so last week I went to a holiday party for a partner org, and one of the leaders of that org several years ago told a friend of mine how she was going through her husband’s sock drawer and found a sock that was “full.” I was really preparing myself to not make any jokes or references to socks … but the husband was a no-show and mercifully I didn’t have to talk to the leader/wife either.

― sarahell, Wednesday, 25 December 2024 04:31 (one year ago)

one year passes...

well?

― Modollno Kahn (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 25 December 2025 07:02 (five months ago)

Hell yeah

― frogbs, Thursday, 25 December 2025 07:57 (five months ago)

Check

― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 25 December 2025 08:55 (five months ago)

what's the allowable date range to qualify here

― Wichita Referee's Assistant (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 December 2025 10:22 (five months ago)

10 years

― c u (crüt), Thursday, 25 December 2025 13:25 (five months ago)

jeez don't make me do the maths

― Parallel Heinz (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 25 December 2025 13:26 (five months ago)

Have you had your Chinese food yet?

― Josefa, Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:02 (five months ago)

That should've gone in the "misread" thread, but what the hell, I ask all of you

― Josefa, Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:08 (five months ago)

Sadly no. Made the family some great Korean side dishes tho.

― a ZX spectrum is haunting Europe (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:22 (five months ago)

pending

― our beloved RIFF LORD (DJP), Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:36 (five months ago)

santa came down the chimney last night

― map, Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:46 (five months ago)

my family is having our traditional Indian curry for Christmas dinner so tonight might not be a good time to try

― Modollno Kahn (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 25 December 2025 19:38 (five months ago)

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Have you had your Christmas fuck yet?

SHUDDER