TMZ claims Urkel punched a woman in the breast implant

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ok i literally just spit cereal all over my keyboard

the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:12 (eight years ago) Permalink

was the implant outside of the breast or something?

call all destroyer, Friday, 9 July 2010 20:12 (eight years ago) Permalink

maybe she was juggling them

"Don't forget to bring a juggalo towel!" (HI DERE), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:13 (eight years ago) Permalink

posting in thread before it has 1000 posts

les yeux sans aerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:13 (eight years ago) Permalink

i seriously can't breathe right now

the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:15 (eight years ago) Permalink

i haven't even read the article

the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:15 (eight years ago) Permalink

and i don't think i will

the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:15 (eight years ago) Permalink

I can't read that article because all the advertising on the page is slowing down the browser to a crawl.

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:16 (eight years ago) Permalink

TMZ claims Huffingtonpost.com punches snoball's browser in the breast implant

the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:17 (eight years ago) Permalink

everything about this is fucked up

Like, Jaleel White is a nexus of everything that is unintentionally funny about the human existence. Pretty much anything he does is hilarious because it is Jaleel White doing it, and when you think of Jaleel White, you not only think of Urkel but you think of more recent paparazzi pictures taken of him that look like this:

http://hoaxblog.s3.amazonaws.com/jaleelwhite.jpg

He's basically a neverending unintentional lol machine. But, now he's accused of beating up a woman. That shit isn't funny. Only they are reporting that he beat this woman up by punching her in the breast implant. Not the breast; the IMPLANT. How the hell am I supposed to process this? Why are you taking this serious, unfunny accusation and putting it directly into the Jaleel White Absurdity Vortex so that I really can't help but stifle raucous laughter while thinking "this shit isn't funny at all"?

"Don't forget to bring a juggalo towel!" (HI DERE), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:21 (eight years ago) Permalink

Stefan Urquelle knows how to treat a lady

ᵧₒᵤᶫᵒSᵉ (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:23 (eight years ago) Permalink

^^^^^ THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

incredibly funny, but incredibly not funny

dude is basically a Chris Rock sketch come to life (in tone, not in content)

"Don't forget to bring a juggalo towel!" (HI DERE), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:25 (eight years ago) Permalink

TMZ claims Huffingtonpost.com punches snoball's browser in the breast implant

― the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Friday, 9 July 2010 21:17 (7 minutes ago)

My PC clearly needs extra silicon...

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:26 (eight years ago) Permalink

It has to cope with streaming information about a) a stand off between a gunman and police, b) this weeks Big Brother eviction, and c) some guy I've never heard of hitting a woman's implant.

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 9 July 2010 20:28 (eight years ago) Permalink

Did u grow up in one of those religious houses where yr mom wouldn't let you watch tv? I am truly sorry for your lots

ᵧₒᵤᶫᵒSᵉ (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 9 July 2010 21:57 (eight years ago) Permalink

I grew up in a country/time with only three TV channels, so the 21st century is blowing my mind.

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 9 July 2010 21:59 (eight years ago) Permalink

urquel-era TV was probably the best time to miss TV in TV history, likely.

Philip Nunez, Friday, 9 July 2010 22:00 (eight years ago) Permalink

urkel-era tv, maybe; urquelle-era TV, no way

goth (crüt), Friday, 9 July 2010 22:01 (eight years ago) Permalink

pilsner urkel

goole, Friday, 9 July 2010 22:02 (eight years ago) Permalink

secret leak of 77 info: pilsner urquell and stefan urquelle came in a 7-7 tie in the pilsner urquell vs. stefan urquelle poll

goth (crüt), Friday, 9 July 2010 22:05 (eight years ago) Permalink

Did u grow up in one of those religious houses where yr mom wouldn't let you watch tv? I am truly sorry for your lots

I know a guy whose parents didn't have a tv, not on religious grounds but on Cali touchy-feely parents ground - all us other kids would sometimes go "wow he's so cool but how sad he can't ever watch tv"

he is now one of the smartest, most well-adjusted people I know & I doubt that his not having seen Happy Days when he was a kid has caused him a moment's regret

les yeux sans aerosmith (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, 9 July 2010 22:38 (eight years ago) Permalink

Well you can tell how polluted my mind is, because for the last few minutes the theme from Happy Days has been playing on a loop and I've been going "heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey".

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 9 July 2010 22:44 (eight years ago) Permalink

just think, had things been slightly different, "Happy Days" might have coined the term "punched the implant" instead of "jumped the shark"

MOATY I'M HERE (HI DERE), Friday, 9 July 2010 23:05 (eight years ago) Permalink

Joanie Punches Chachi

Philip Nunez, Friday, 9 July 2010 23:09 (eight years ago) Permalink

THAT PICTURE. My god who let him go out dressed like that. I just can't even begin to comprehend why he thought any of that was a good idea.

o sh!t a ˁ˚ᴥ˚ˀ (ENBB), Friday, 9 July 2010 23:39 (eight years ago) Permalink

She claims when they got home White allegedly slapped her, and pushed her into a toilet so hard it broke the tank.

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 9 July 2010 23:44 (eight years ago) Permalink

Good call. At least now we know who his style icon is.

o sh!t a ˁ˚ᴥ˚ˀ (ENBB), Friday, 9 July 2010 23:45 (eight years ago) Permalink

Should have gone for that 70's Gil Gerard look...

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Saturday, 10 July 2010 08:18 (eight years ago) Permalink

OK why all this time did I assume Urkel was a midget like Gary Coleman? Seeing a grown-up Urkel is DOING MY DAMN HEAD IN.

Love and Arugula (Trayce), Saturday, 10 July 2010 10:23 (eight years ago) Permalink

it was pretty disastrous for the show when his voice changed imo (or as disastrous as something can be for a show like family matters)

goth (crüt), Saturday, 10 July 2010 11:32 (eight years ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

was wondering what happened to this "urkel" guy.

the character was a take on bill cosby, right? bill cosby wasn't funny, either.

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 9 August 2010 03:09 (eight years ago) Permalink

What?

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 9 August 2010 03:17 (eight years ago) Permalink

okay that hurt my head more than the original story

people are for loving (HI DERE), Monday, 9 August 2010 04:19 (eight years ago) Permalink

He's dressed like Dan Dare in that picture.

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Monday, 9 August 2010 07:49 (eight years ago) Permalink

ten months pass...

I recently read somewhere that the person in that picture is NOT Jaleel White but now I am having difficulty tracking down the source of that counter story. Since I can't find it, I'm going to assume that is totally Jaleel White and Urkel owns a copy of my mom's jacket.

chupacabra - a delicious burrito (DJP), Monday, 27 June 2011 14:59 (seven years ago) Permalink

And my sister's boots!

I'll show you the power of laughter! (Abbbottt), Monday, 27 June 2011 15:00 (seven years ago) Permalink

xp Maybe he just stole your mother's jacket?

wtf is wrong with people? (snoball), Monday, 27 June 2011 15:02 (seven years ago) Permalink

xp And your sister's boots?

wtf is wrong with people? (snoball), Monday, 27 June 2011 15:02 (seven years ago) Permalink

where are his lapels i can't see his lapels

~edgy~ (goole), Monday, 27 June 2011 15:05 (seven years ago) Permalink

okay lol

chupacabra - a delicious burrito (DJP), Monday, 27 June 2011 15:05 (seven years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

still lol

douche chills (crüt), Sunday, 7 August 2011 09:06 (seven years ago) Permalink

Jaleel White is a wandering country-bluesman teaching kids about STDs

douche chills (crüt), Sunday, 7 August 2011 09:11 (seven years ago) Permalink

four years pass...

Talking about Urkel on the Internet might be the biggest waste of time ever -- it gives me an existential crisis.

existence is punishment (monster mash), Sunday, 24 January 2016 03:55 (two years ago) Permalink

It's time we talked about talking about Urkel on the internet, mm. My advice: don't. Talk about Urkel, that is. On the internet. OK?

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Sunday, 24 January 2016 04:19 (two years ago) Permalink

your mom fucked Urkel

salthigh, Sunday, 24 January 2016 04:20 (two years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dNyEodfUuk

del griffith, Saturday, 18 March 2017 20:41 (one year ago) Permalink

Thank you

circa1916, Sunday, 19 March 2017 01:19 (one year ago) Permalink

for posterity:

http://www.eurweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Jaleel-White.jpg

example (crüt), Sunday, 19 March 2017 02:35 (one year ago) Permalink

seriously that is the best picture on the internet

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 20:55 (one year ago) Permalink

that was funny for a few seconds til i googled him and found out thats not what he looks like now

F♯ A♯ (∞), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:15 (one year ago) Permalink

anyone else gettin straight up Vigo the Carpathian vibes from Fuck Me Boots Urkel?

del griffith, Thursday, 23 March 2017 02:50 (one year ago) Permalink


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