TMZ claims Urkel punched a woman in the breast implant

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/08/jaleel-white-domestic-vio_n_640092.html

um, waht

ok i literally just spit cereal all over my keyboard

was the implant outside of the breast or something?

maybe she was juggling them

posting in thread before it has 1000 posts

i seriously can't breathe right now

i haven't even read the article

and i don't think i will

I can't read that article because all the advertising on the page is slowing down the browser to a crawl.

TMZ claims Huffingtonpost.com punches snoball's browser in the breast implant

everything about this is fucked up

Like, Jaleel White is a nexus of everything that is unintentionally funny about the human existence. Pretty much anything he does is hilarious because it is Jaleel White doing it, and when you think of Jaleel White, you not only think of Urkel but you think of more recent paparazzi pictures taken of him that look like this:

http://hoaxblog.s3.amazonaws.com/jaleelwhite.jpg

He's basically a neverending unintentional lol machine. But, now he's accused of beating up a woman. That shit isn't funny. Only they are reporting that he beat this woman up by punching her in the breast implant. Not the breast; the IMPLANT. How the hell am I supposed to process this? Why are you taking this serious, unfunny accusation and putting it directly into the Jaleel White Absurdity Vortex so that I really can't help but stifle raucous laughter while thinking "this shit isn't funny at all"?

Stefan Urquelle knows how to treat a lady

^^^^^ THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

incredibly funny, but incredibly not funny

dude is basically a Chris Rock sketch come to life (in tone, not in content)

TMZ claims Huffingtonpost.com punches snoball's browser in the breast implant

― the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Friday, 9 July 2010 21:17 (7 minutes ago)

My PC clearly needs extra silicon...

It has to cope with streaming information about a) a stand off between a gunman and police, b) this weeks Big Brother eviction, and c) some guy I've never heard of hitting a woman's implant.

Did u grow up in one of those religious houses where yr mom wouldn't let you watch tv? I am truly sorry for your lots

I grew up in a country/time with only three TV channels, so the 21st century is blowing my mind.

urquel-era TV was probably the best time to miss TV in TV history, likely.

urkel-era tv, maybe; urquelle-era TV, no way

pilsner urkel

secret leak of 77 info: pilsner urquell and stefan urquelle came in a 7-7 tie in the pilsner urquell vs. stefan urquelle poll

Did u grow up in one of those religious houses where yr mom wouldn't let you watch tv? I am truly sorry for your lots

I know a guy whose parents didn't have a tv, not on religious grounds but on Cali touchy-feely parents ground - all us other kids would sometimes go "wow he's so cool but how sad he can't ever watch tv"

he is now one of the smartest, most well-adjusted people I know & I doubt that his not having seen Happy Days when he was a kid has caused him a moment's regret

Well you can tell how polluted my mind is, because for the last few minutes the theme from Happy Days has been playing on a loop and I've been going "heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey".

just think, had things been slightly different, "Happy Days" might have coined the term "punched the implant" instead of "jumped the shark"

Joanie Punches Chachi

THAT PICTURE. My god who let him go out dressed like that. I just can't even begin to comprehend why he thought any of that was a good idea.

She claims when they got home White allegedly slapped her, and pushed her into a toilet so hard it broke the tank.

http://www.collectorsquest.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/go_hero_buck_rogers_figure.jpg

Good call. At least now we know who his style icon is.

Should have gone for that 70's Gil Gerard look...

OK why all this time did I assume Urkel was a midget like Gary Coleman? Seeing a grown-up Urkel is DOING MY DAMN HEAD IN.

it was pretty disastrous for the show when his voice changed imo (or as disastrous as something can be for a show like family matters)

was wondering what happened to this "urkel" guy.

the character was a take on bill cosby, right? bill cosby wasn't funny, either.

What?

okay that hurt my head more than the original story

He's dressed like Dan Dare in that picture.

I recently read somewhere that the person in that picture is NOT Jaleel White but now I am having difficulty tracking down the source of that counter story. Since I can't find it, I'm going to assume that is totally Jaleel White and Urkel owns a copy of my mom's jacket.

And my sister's boots!

xp Maybe he just stole your mother's jacket?

xp And your sister's boots?

http://static.igossip.com/photos_2/july_2010/55066_Celebrity_Gossip_and_News_jaleel_white_s.jpg

where are his lapels i can't see his lapels

okay lol

still lol

http://img.poptower.com/pic-55700/jaleel-white.jpg

Jaleel White is a wandering country-bluesman teaching kids about STDs

Talking about Urkel on the Internet might be the biggest waste of time ever -- it gives me an existential crisis.

It's time we talked about talking about Urkel on the internet, mm. My advice: don't. Talk about Urkel, that is. On the internet. OK?

your mom fucked Urkel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dNyEodfUuk

Thank you

for posterity:

http://www.eurweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Jaleel-White.jpg

seriously that is the best picture on the internet

that was funny for a few seconds til i googled him and found out thats not what he looks like now

anyone else gettin straight up Vigo the Carpathian vibes from Fuck Me Boots Urkel?

https://j.gifs.com/6X6BVz.gif

buh

lmao i came here to post that same steevil / carlsbad vid

― MOATY I'M HERE (HI DERE), Saturday, 10 July 2010 00:05 (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink

^^^ my takeaway from this thread