TO MOLLIFY LINGJACKSON OVERDRIVEBERT WHO IS THE SQUEAKY DESERT FIEND, POST ON THIS THREAD AND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDLY ITR MODS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WICKED AWESOME, AND POSSIBLY OFFER AN EFFUSIVE ST

good lord, John has fallen into ELTON JOHN mode.

I've never seen this happen before. It could be a symptom of some fancy new disease he has contracted.

(That song has my favorite misheard lyrics of all time, btw:

"Hold me closer Tony Danza
Count the head lice on the highway..."

fallen dived into the sweet embrace of

elton john is AWESOME

I will not argue that he is not awesome; I even went to see him a few years ago (with Billy Joel. DO NOT START WITH ME ABOUT THAT)! Elton John had craaaaay lights going on... kinda hypnotic.

This does not stop me from thinking, "count the head lice on the highway" every time I drive home from school. That's part of what makes me like him!

We're all awesome.

So I was bored and decided to see what the freeway chase in Matrix Reloaded was all about thanks to YouTube. By not having to worry about a plot or Keanu Reeves I was perfectly content.

dammit, that "craaaay" should have had a "z" in it.

(The lights were apparently so CRAZY that I cannot spell anymore)

haha Ned. I kept objecting to watching The Matrix on the grounds of Keanu Reeves. A. finally convinced me by saying that he just "walks around seeming clueless." I haven't been tempted into seeing the other films yet.

Keanu is the weak link in my favorite movie ever, Dangerous Liaisons. Very questionable casting.

I HATE KEANU REEVES SO MUCH

he continues to be in movies i like (my own private idaho, through a scanner darkly) but he diminishes them. it is sad.

yes! that is so true about my own private idaho

he is also a really really nice guy

It's nice to know that you all understand. (I love that argument A. makes, which I've heard a slew of times before, because it's on par with "But Mark Hamill is SUPPOSED to be a whiny nerd," ie, simultaneously perfectly accurate and no excuse at all! But if I was ten or so when The Matrix had come out I wouldn't've cared, I'm sure.)

but i hate him and his stupid keanu reevesness and his stupid keanu reeves face and his stupid stupidness

whoa

Films I will excuse him in -- Bill and Ted, Point Break (for its glorious stupidity, of course -- Reeves + Swayze = gold). Where I finally got off the bus -- Dracula. (That really got me off the bus on a lot of things in retrospect, starting with Coppola.)

This is the difference between John and I: he apparently has the energy to hate Keanu Reeves, whereas I just find him mildly alarming for his crappy acting.

On the other hand, I despise Kirstie Alley and want to smash the television whenever she appears, so maybe we're not so different.

Ned, I think even A. would admit that the argument has a paradoxical quality. But at least he wasn't trying to persuade me that The Matrix would blow my mind and change my life with its brilliant insight or anything. (Because people did make this argument to me, and seriously... NO.)

bram stokers dracula is so awful.

Speed also alarming for having not just Keanu Reeves, but also Sandra Bullock in it. WHY GOD WHY

"Bram Stoker's" Dracula. UGH

I saw that Dracula at Southgate Cinema, and as cheap as it probably was, I wanted my money back. BAD

Actors I hate:

Zach Braff, for reasons predictable and banal
Kevin Spacey, for reasons of Serious Actorliness
Meryl Streep, for reasons of Serious Actorliness

bram stokers dracula is so awful.

It's one of those films where I realized that sometimes cool design/camera style is nowhere near enough. (And sometimes it is, but not here.)

Zach Braff is going to be the new Fletch

Hahah, good lord, I just realized that I saw Dracula in the theater and then two years later saw Tom Cruise swanning around in Interview With the Vampire, and both times I was thrilled to be seeing them. What the hell was I thinking.

man hating on keanu reeves is dumb, he has been in a higher % of totally fuckin awesome movies than most actors his age

poor fletch

Well, the trouble is that the movies would usually be better with someone else playing his part.

look it is a moon no it is something else no wait its a moon EAT SHIT COPPOLA

xpost max no ;_;

i dont know what to say to you weirdos, cmon guys, SPEED + POINT BREAK + THE MATRIX??????????????????? how can you hate a dude in all three of those

because he is in all three of them. also the matrix is silly.

Well, the trouble is that the movies would usually be better with someone else playing his part.

Exactly! Isn't the story that it was supposed to be Jet Li as Neo but they were stuck with Keanu? A VAST IMPROVEMENT IF THEY HAD GONE THE ORIGINAL ROUTE.

Max, just please don't tell me you thought Johnny Mnemonic ruled.

wow maybe i should just stop posting on this thread!!!!!

I have to confess that I have never seen POINT BREAK.

NED DO NOT MAKE TOMBOT LOCK OUR THREAD OF MIGHTINESS

Point taken, John.

I have to confess that I have never seen POINT BREAK.

You have not lived.

ned, i have to go with tom on this one

i feel like i am breaking rank

not really, i am just in threaddefense mode

No worries.

Back to other subjects:

look it is a moon no it is something else no wait its a moon EAT SHIT COPPOLA

Yes precisely. At this point I think I'll just stick with The Conversation. (Because it sure as hell ain't going to be Tucker.)

i do think point break is great, i just think it would have been better if keanu had worn a nixon mask throughout

FRANCIS FORD CRAPPOLA FILM FEST FUNNIES FEATURING:

GARDENINGS OF STONED
TUCKER: A MAN AND DA PLAN
BRAM STOKER'S TOM WAITS' SID VICIOUS'S DRACUUUUUL
JACK-FM

actually, that is a good general rule for keanu roles

i think his career went off the rails somewhere between cotton club and captain eo, but i cannot tell exactly where

hahahahahaha

i do think point break is great, i just think it would have been better if keanu had worn a nixon mask throughout

The crossover with The Ice Storm would have been great.

between cotton club and captain eo

...there lies OBSESSION

bram stokers dracula was totally sweet too, this thread is like crazy town

Come, my Maxy

I'm trying to imagine every day of pain on the set of Jack as Coppola and Robin Williams inflicted themselves on everyone else around them.