TO MOLLIFY LINGJACKSON OVERDRIVEBERT WHO IS THE SQUEAKY DESERT FIEND, POST ON THIS THREAD AND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDLY ITR MODS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WICKED AWESOME, AND POSSIBLY OFFER AN EFFUSIVE ST

Giant sea clams roam the street at night

'Red Sox Nation' a zombie cult instead of a country

xpost Can you capture them and eat them? Because if so, I'm SO THERE

...but I AM afraid of zombies...

"baked beans" from there not actually tasty baked beans, but instead shitty old-people candy

Well, I don't want either kind of baked beans, so that's kind of neutral.

- People are rude in a singularly unentertaining and offensive way.

- It's insanely expensive to live here considering the quality of the real estate, and job salaries are not at the same level as they are in cities as or more expensive.

- The airport sucks, making it a total hassle to leave to visit friends and family or for F&F to come here to visit.

- It's much smaller and more provincial than it thinks it is.

- 75% of the awesome people you meet don't stay here because of the above issues.

- ABYSMAL TRAFFIC & ABYSMAL PARKING

"Someday I Suppose" actually city anthem, and is played at subliminal level at all times throughout the day

I am actually most terrified by the airport thing.

srsly if I drive to work, I'm paying $28 for parking and that is actually a DEAL

Yikes on parking costs, jeez.

Okay, so how can we hypnotize Dan and J031 into moving to Minnesota? John, I'm sure you have some suggestions.

Every month, you are required to tithe 10% of your gross income to Tom Scholz

- OH, and FUCKING NO ONE HERE KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE

We will move to MN the instant the climate becomes like TN. I probably shouldn't have married an anemic southerner if I ever had plans to return to the Twin Cities (although she claims she'd move to Chicago, waht).

- designed by a rogue's gallery of con men, cattle, and uptight assholes

seriously dude, DC.

It sucks but it's no fucking boston.

Yeah, I know! The fact that my brother lives there is a HUGE plus.

xpost Well, what with global warming, that should be, like, 2012 at the latest.

Chicago is cool, but OMG I have never been so freaking cold as standing outside the Aquarium there two days after Xmas. Way too much wind, way too many people in line.

and no imprimatur of center-of-the-universeness like NYC or SF causing a constant overabundance of labor and undersupply of housing

just so everyone knows, due to my business situation, i will live in this city until i die

also, i love it here and never want to leave, but it is more fun to just decide there IS NO CHOICE

chicago is a windswept freezing shithole, but it does have better public transportation than we do

no offense chicagogogoeans

John OTM. We don't want to make the kids change schools, so even leaving Northfield is sort of impossible now. And A. will NOT consider a different job no matter how stressed he is by it.

But yeah, it would be nice to be *able* to have a choice about it.

We should all just move to a random city and make it awesome.

John might "live in this city" until he dies, but it does remain a possibility that a crowd with pitchforks will drive him away.

So there's always hope for change.

Dan... can it be a warmer city? But also in a state that is not insane politically. Like... uh... can we take over a Hawaiian island?

AND WE SHALL CALL THAT CITY HSTNGS, MN xxpost

GOD JOHN, ARE YOU NUTS?!

bermuda is already awesome.

We should all just move to a random city and make it awesome.

this is how liberal yuppies keep turning perfectly nice small towns like jackson hole into asshole traps, isn't it?

the road to hell etc

ugh, thanks for throwing buckets of flies into my Cheerios guys

liberal yes... I'm trying to imagine John's rxn to being called a "yuppie"

xpost DANIEL, I'M INNOCENT!!!

i suppose it would be bad form for me to start a bunch of duplicate primaries threads with identical names just to throw people off the scent, huh?

xpost hahaha well yes i might take offense

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Uh-oh.

Oh that's right, John is urban and a professional who runs his own business, BUT HE'S NOT THAT YOUNG ANYMORE, IS HE??????????????????

(I expect to be banned by the time I get home.)

Daniel you are kind of evil, which is why I adore you.

John, I'm really resisting making comments about "professional," but only because I haven't seen Eclipse in a million years, so I don't really know what I'm on about. SO HARD TO RESIST THOUGH

(ok leaving the office now, see you guys in 3 days)

You know what, though, John DOES have a nice suit and tie now... hmmmmm.

I am proud of the term "asshole traps"

Okay, bye Dan.

If John lets you stay, we have SISTERS OF MERCY day to look forward to! (see, I'm petitioning on Dan's behalf to keep the peace here)

dan i am now an U_UPIE

That sounds obscene.

I missed something.

(Then again I've been busy. Best way to get through a bleak mood -- have a lot of work to put down and out of the way. Which it is, brilliantly. YAY WONDERFUL ME!)

Yay Ned! I'm glad you've cheered up some.

Well I'll cheer up more when I'm going home. Which is shortly.