TO MOLLIFY LINGJACKSON OVERDRIVEBERT WHO IS THE SQUEAKY DESERT FIEND, POST ON THIS THREAD AND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDLY ITR MODS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WICKED AWESOME, AND POSSIBLY OFFER AN EFFUSIVE ST

ya nvr mind

WAIT YOU GUYS. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT NED HAS JESUS HAIR?

I think it's more "have you noticed that Jesus hair has a NED?"

So you're saying that praying to Ned will do us no good?!

This is truly ;_;

It'll do plenty of good.

to your rampant EGO

sorry, EGGO

Maybe Ned can help my grades somehow.

How much better do you want than 100%????

Hey, I have a lot of papers due this week and a big test-out! There's no guarantee that I'll get good grades on those.

MAYBE I'LL FAIL, WHO KNOWS?!

JESUS HAIR KNOWS

The test-out is this mini-assessment thing, and I should practice on more people. WHY ARE YOU ALL TOO FAR AWAY FOR ME TO LISTEN TO YOUR LUNG AND BOWEL SOUNDS, HUH?!

Well that's my desire for lunch taken care of.

See, and if you were closer I could help you if you were on a diet. By grossing you out!

THRD BUMP

Another hour yet... bump

I'm sitting here trying to write a reflection paper, but mostly distracting myself by online shopping at Amazon.com because I have a gift certificate and some birthday money STILL...

nice

Ha, yeah, now I got distracted from shopping for myself by trying to sort what book I should get for Alex about BODY CHANGES and related info.

So I'm reading Amazon.com reviews, and the same books will get both "OMG THIS IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR MY DELICATE LITTLE CHILD" and "OMG THIS BOOK WILL SCARE THEM AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF SEX THOUGHT FOREVER" reviews.

Meanwhile, I'm just trying to process the notion that my little guy who was once 4 and a half pounds in the NICU is going to have facial hair someday. WAHT

I still can't believe my little cousins are both in COLLEGE and one is GRADUATING this year.

yeah - it's CRAZY. I have a cousin who has graduated from college who I swear I think of as being in 8th grade.

The HE WAS MY TINY BABY thing is even more disorienting - if you can even imagine that!

"He was my tiny baby... now he has PUBIC HAIR"

I CAN'T EVEN GO THERE, DUDE

You're gonna have to someday!

Well okay, maybe not literally "go there", that would be incest. But it's gonna happen!

(this is the thread where I gloat about the fact that I don't live within smacking distance of my high school friends)

YOU'LL BE BACK AGAIN SOMEDAY, MY FRIEND. YOU WILL

xpost Yeah, I really have to adjust to this Imminent Puberty thing. I'm just SO not ready!

BUT I am going to get him a book anyway, which is a lot better than the whole hearing about periods at school, basically out of nowhere thing.

Or the fact that my mom decided that the time to address the question of sex and birth control with me was right after I'd had my SECOND baby. (I was THIRTY YEARS OLD, FFS. And there were FOUR years between my kids; obviously I had the birth control thing down by then!!!)

My sex talk with my daad went like this:

DAD: Son, where did you get this? (pulls out ridiculously dirty sex-ed book complete with ludicrously graphic illustrations that I swiped from the HSTNGS library)
ME: Uh, the library...?
DAD: Son, I want you to know that you can want to talk to girls, and kiss on girls, and even rub up on girls, but when she says, "NO," she means it.
ME: ... Okay, Dad!
DAD: I'm keeping this book.
ME: (awwwwww...) Okay.

(I think I was 12 at the time.)

lolz, that is awesome

hahahahahha your dad is so awesome xpost

Mom: You know... breastfeeding isn't adequate birth control.

Me: WHAT?! I AM THIRTY MOM, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS NOW?!!!!

I was kind of livid, actually. Plus I don't think A.'s vasectomy was a big secret, so what the heck was that even about?!

Also, I was sooooo biting my tongue against saying something like, "don't you think Heather is the one who needs to hear this...?"

Mom: You know... breastfeeding isn't adequate birth control.

You know, whenever I think of "breastfeeding" the first phrase that pops into my head is "inadequate birth control".

Personally, I always think of "hey, I finally had boobs!" - but I suppose it is an individual thing.

i think "ian reise-moraine"

See! TOTALLY INDIVIDUAL!!!

poor max

sara just get yr lil man a WoW account. no sex ed necessary.

"He'll never notice anything is different!"

This is a good idea if you want him to think that all women know how to stripperdance and are secretly men.

So you're saying those things aren't true then.

LIFE HAS A LOT OF SHOCKS IN STORE FOR YOU, YOUNG MR. PERRY

I know the stripperdance part is true.

Okay, who ratted us out to you?!

I got skills

WELL!

I can either take you at your word or ask J031. I suppose I better just believe you and leave it at that.

BACK LATER GUYS; I'M GOING OUT WITH THE WIDOWS FOR A WHILE

Have fun stripperdancing!