SO U MOVING TO HSTNGS! PACK A AMPULE OF ANTIVENOM AND A FACK FULL OF EMINEM

haha NO

especially not with anything with acetaminophen in it!

which pills go best with bourbon, then? because the bourbon part is non-negotiable

Bourbon goes with bourbon

Skip the pills, go directly to liver damage

COLLECT $200

done and done

My work here is done.

so what should I change next time to avoid the blinding headache the next morning

right now I'm assuming the answer is "don't watch the Vikings"

That plus drink more water.

But yeah, I actively advise patients to not get involved with the Vikings but NO ONE ever listens to this advice for some reason.

that uncomfortable moment when your dad starts comparing his granddaughters (who are 4 and 2) to Bo Derek

Facebook, what ill have you wrought on my family

hahahahahahahaha

ok what?

I thought I was disoriented today already (for some reason I can't get "The Search is Over" out of my head and it is really starting to piss me off. THAT is what happens when I have to get up at 0430, people!).

lol jjj coming in like a wrecking ball on the "leaving without saying goodbye" thread

haha

as I get older, I realize that when I was younger my problem wasn't that I was an introvert; I was just a dick

i am as god made me, esp wrt people confusing disinterest in basic social graces with some sort of quirky i just gotta be me personal trait

*hi-five*

gonna post this here because it rules

http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2013/11/a-cappella-daft-punk-medley-by.html

T0dd got engaged to his partner today - and then I got asked to be in the wedding. <3

Seriously this made me absurdly happy, so much so that I cried happy tears! Yay!

one of my friends keeps talking about how much he loves CBT and I have to constantly remind myself that he means cognitive behavioral therapy

also another friend was on TV in DC today

http://www.nbcwashington.com/video/#!/news/local/Washington-Chorus-To-Perform-at-the-Kennedy-Center/235086471

I made my second panforte of the year tonight and this time I didn't overbake it (probably a little underdone, actually).

Just wanted you all to know that, as always now, I considered the question of whether to mail deX Christmas poop or not.

Of course right now he appears to be safe in SF...

If only there was something waiting for him to welcome him home...

http://www.hastingsstargazette.com/content/most-unique-hastings-police-calls-2013-compiled

Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaaah

shout out to FB:

Feb. 19

• Hastings police were called to check the welfare of a male in the area of 10th and Tyler streets at 7:01 a.m.

The man was reportedly falling down and covered with snow. He was found to be intoxicated and was in town for a court date. The man had walked from Prior Lake for the court date.

His attorney was called and was told the man was being taken to detox.

this is amazing:

July 2

• An officer responded to the report of a thief at a store in the 200 block of 33rd Street at 8:01 p.m.

A male put a deli sandwich, a can of frappucino and a can of Mountain Dew Kickstart in his shorts and fled on a bicycle, which was pulling a small cart.

Semi-relatedly, I check in on this log of insanity regularly and am rarely disappointed: http://www.bcdemocrat.com/index.php?id=13

!!! @ Hastings' police blotter

FYI Apple computers are really fucking annoying when something goes wrong with them

My 2009 iMac's DVD drive began to refuse to eject CDs the other day. I took it into the Genius Bar to have them get the CD out, which they were able to do. However, the drive now thinks it has a blank DVD in it even though it's empty. Furthermore, the drive makes horrible grinding noises every time the computer wakes up. I can replace the internal drive for over $150 or I could buy an external drive for cheaper; I can't get a Super Drive though because the firmware EXPRESSLY FORBIDS them from working together. Finally, the support for the machine is about to be end-of-life'd anyway due to its age.

Oh, and also the display is starting to show discoloration and will cost something like $500 to replace if I decide to do so.

If this had happened with a PC, I could have opened the DVD drive myself and replaced it myself, resolving this whole fucking thing in maybe 90 minutes. Speaking of which, I may be getting a PC this weekend because this fucking machine irks me.

Ugh, I hate computer problems.

But I cannot divorce Macs unless I break up with Austin.

Also, the PCs we use at work are a nightmare (although that is related to the twenty five billion different programs they have to contain).

Sorry you are having these issues, tho. :(

should I invite my parents to go see J03 P3t1t play at The Busted Nut Bar 'n Grill on Saturday, y/n

YES, obv.

although I have to add that at first I read that as J031 and I was confused as to what your wife was planning to do, exactly, at the Busted Nut this weekend.

Fluffy Bear/Austerity Ponies is famous, y'all

holy cats, how cool!

I just had brunch with someone Fluffy Bear once went to prom with (L1s4) - yesterday morning.

She told me about some batshit HSTNGS thing; an execution style murder in the parking lot of the Beirstube (my Mom claimed a different place in town but...)

I haven't seen a newspaper for weeks (too much working - our floor had 6 nurses quit in 6 weeks, so it's insane all the time) - but - anyone else hear about this?

Yup. I was talking with M3l1ss4 about it on Facebook: http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/story/25860884/hastings-man-34-fatally-shot-after-ice-cream-run

(that story places it behind Emily's)

Ok, so Midtown then... that's sort of consistent-ish with what L1s4 said.

Nothing ever surprises me about that place anymore but I kind of wish I wasn't that cynical.

Yeah, T0m K said something about how HSTNGS had changed since he left and I was thinking "do you not remember the kid who got pushed in front of a train after trying to rip off some drug dealers circa 1990"

Well, he kind of lives with his head up his own ass, tho (mostly I think that bc his politics are so batshit and juvenile)

ah yes i remember with fondness when all the murders in HSTNGS were between close friends at fun parties those were the days

I tried to "like" that post

what a time

Those were the days.

Oh look, more good Hstngs in the news - guess who one of the 8 MN companies involved in the hobby lobby case was:

"Plaintiffs: Hastings Automotive, Inc., Hastings Chrysler Center, Inc., and Douglas W. Erickson
Location: Hastings
Industry: Retail Auto Sales
Excerpt from the complaint: As part of their Christian faith, Plaintiffs believe that life begins at conception, and it is therefore a grave moral wrong to destroy a human embryo. Consequently, Plaintiffs believe that the use of what are labeled contraceptive, but have an abortifacient effect, is immoral and sinful because they destroy a human life by chemically inducing an abortion."

yeah I was informed of that by J yesterday, who may or may not have been exuding gigantic waves of "my home town was so much better than yours and someone spraypainted 'nigger' on my parents' garage when I was a kid" while telling me

I am stabbing myself in my eyeballs over everything after reading those last two posts

(work tonight is going to be a challenge, I guess)