SO U MOVING TO HSTNGS! PACK A AMPULE OF ANTIVENOM AND A FACK FULL OF EMINEM

I haven't watched this yet to see how terribly I come across but I'm certain the limelight is stolen by the math/musical freakshow genius who got a middle-aged Japanese comedian to propose to him

I suppose ppl want the story behind how this happened, huh

DJP - the "J" stands for Japan

You have a lot of explaining to do, deX

I sang with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Harlan this guy in college. When he came back for his 20 year reunion, he brought a camera crew with him chronicling his younger days that included a segment where he gathered some college buds and we sang some songs. This segment also included us interacting with a comedienne who spent most of her time hitting on the math professor in the group, who is basically a cartoon in human form. Hilarity ensues, with me lurking in the background.

Who doesn't hit on math professors?

Wait, what?

I want to see this masterpiece.

http://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/sandwich2.jpg?w=680&h=450&crop=1

never forget

I have no idea how to interpret that, but it might be that I worked the last two evenings and my head is full of crazy people.

look up "300 sandwiches"

hey, should I take improv classes?

I should know better but morbid curiosity couldn't stop me clicking on the givinghead.mpeg file I found in our test data

dear lord

wait waht

we have several Outlook PST files we ingest into our system as test data that we got from somewhere, not sure where

the emails and attachments get pulled out as part of the ingestion process and I noticed that one of them, when clicking through the test data to copy documents into a folder, that one was named "givinghead.mpeg"

I was like, "no way, that's not porn is it? can't be" so I clicked on it

it started with a closeup on the face of a haggard-looking woman with too much makeup on making groaning noises and I went "uh-oh" and started moving my mouse

unfortunately I did not move my mouse fast enough and saw the camera pan to her crotch, where A BALD MAN WAS BASICALLY RUBBING HER DISTENDED LABIA ACROSS THE TOP OF HIS HEAD

I intend to have words with the dude who gave me this PST (he isn't in my office and he was offline all day)

(this was literally a reverse birth situation, it was SUPER FUCKING GROSS)

hey at least he was bald?

i mean substitute "phish fan with dreadlocks" for "bald man". look, see how much better your day just got?

dreadlocks would have obscured the view

unless we're talking a full-on Sideshow Bob

snakes? in her vagina?

i really hope i just remembered that meme right otherwise i apologize

it was eels IIRC

also I hate you

fair

oh wait never mind, it's centipedes. there we go

there are several things in play here:

the aforementioned "Centipedes?" JPG
the infamous eels.mpg
me hating you for linking the two together via this frottage-gone-horribly-wrong movie in my test data

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91V0Cqx9TzM

instead of reading this thread I should just stay at work with the GI bleeds and the cellulitis

Everyone still alive?

I've been super busy. I miss reading your semi-inappropriate comments!

John - I need to come up and bring this baby gift I made for you guys at some point... and meet your little dude!

I'm overwhelmed with concerts; just had one in CT yesterday, have another in MA on Sunday

tonight I go drinking with a friend who is moving to Austin on Wednesday

right now I'm listening to VNV Nation and reading Ned's musing about them here; I think A esp would like these guys

I had a busy BUSY weekend at work- our patients are really heavy right now (not physically, for most of them, but just need a lot of care). All my patients were some level of confused/dementia with more physical ailments (pneumonia, pneumothorax with chest tube, etc.).

One of them - who was at the very end of the hall, farthest away from the nurse's station - figured out how to turn off his bed alarm. He couldn't remember he was in the hospital but he could figure THAT out. I'd hear it go off and run down there and find him standing there, turning it off and complaining about the noise. Then when I would get him back to bed he had a lot to say about how sad it is that people don't "keep their lawns green" anymore. It was sort of hilarious (I loved this guy, seriously) but at the same time it took up a lot of time.

I slept in til past noon today. I literally kept hitting my snooze alarm for over an hour and a half.

I was so tired this morning that I was hitting the snooze button in my sleep.

haha, yep.

I think you might have been in a dream I was having, deX, but that is all I remember about it (i.e. you were around).

But maybe I am just as disoriented as my patients were.

I was in Chicago last week for work and having problems sleeping, which led to lots of late nights in the Central time zone, which meant when I got home I'd programmed myself to go to sleep at 3 AM for NO FUCKING REASON

Yesterday before my shift I tried to prove that I was participating in self-injuring behavior by eating some sliced jalapenos we had in the break room - plain.

This does not qualify, it turns out. So I had to work.

SIGH

Ugh, I haaaate it when I can't sleep!

Can you re-set by taking an Advil PM or similar for a night or two and get back on track?

do those go well with bourbon? I just bought a bottle of Booker's

haha NO

especially not with anything with acetaminophen in it!

which pills go best with bourbon, then? because the bourbon part is non-negotiable

Bourbon goes with bourbon

Skip the pills, go directly to liver damage

COLLECT $200

done and done

My work here is done.

so what should I change next time to avoid the blinding headache the next morning

right now I'm assuming the answer is "don't watch the Vikings"

That plus drink more water.

But yeah, I actively advise patients to not get involved with the Vikings but NO ONE ever listens to this advice for some reason.