TO MOLLIFY LINGJACKSON OVERDRIVEBERT WHO IS THE SQUEAKY DESERT FIEND, POST ON THIS THREAD AND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDLY ITR MODS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WICKED AWESOME, AND POSSIBLY OFFER AN EFFUSIVE ST

Dan should hire himself out to help people write them.

thanks dan

i am applying for a boarding school (middle school) humanities position, and trying to explain why i have taught at three different schools over three different years, with large gaps in between.

I didn't realize folks made personal statements for employment purposes.

I didn't, either. The last personal statement I had to write was an application to the nursing program I'm in. It was optional, which made it more puzzling, not less.

in those cases, optional = not really optional.

my boyfriend just made me swallow a tablespoon of sugar to get rid of my hiccups and it was awful BUT IT WORKED.

eww, you kno what's worse tho? Chewing mylanta tablets :( Chalky badness. :(

Yes, my whole attitude, was, "optional?!" Uh... what? They claimed that the main criteria was GPA, but then why ask for a personal statement at all. So I did it. Blah.

A bartender showed me a cool trick to get rid of hiccups: put angostora bitters on a lemon slice and then suck on that. It works!

(I imagine it would work without the bitters, too, actually)

ughhh recently I had heartburn (lol hi I am a 21-year-old 80-year-old) and I was forced to eat TWO orange-flavored mylantas. ultimate sadface.

angostora-whatsuh?

http://www.angosturabitters.com/

Should be available at your local liquor store. (I don't really know how to describe bitters... sorry.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitters

Wikipedia saves the day again.

We have that in Australia too I think?

angostoras i mean

angostura. whatever.

Yes, you should have them there. (My earlier brief glance at their webpage made it look like they were Australian in origin, actually. I guess I might have hallucinated that.)

I have to read this book for work :(

do you work for seventeen magazine?

where do you work, for gods sake? xpost hahahahaha

Wow, the paranormal romance subgenre never quits, does it. But getting paid to read it? That is a crazy job.

t/s:
lois duncan
vs.
christopher pike
vs.
r. l. stein's fear street

i am being paid to write short synopses of these stories. here are some excerpts (from my summaries, not from the actual texts):

PROTAGONIST looks into the boy's "hypnotically blue eyes, which suddenly make her feel like she could dive into them, letting their warmth wash over her in sweet, soft waves" and moves outside to the balcony, swooning in [DRACULA'S SON'S] beauty and attention. She turns her neck to let him bite her, and --

and

High school senior and taxi driver SECOND PROTAGONIST sits in the loading zone at the Santa Barbara airport reading self help books, and turning her nose up at them, when she is interrupted by the town’s youngest, surfing sheriff, STUDLY NAME

and

THIRD PROTAGONIST wakes up in a morgue, dead and pissed-off.

I think my favorite part is the second protagonist being a high school senior and ALSO a taxi driver.

Also lolz at "STUDLY NAME." My friend who writes paranormal romance uses names of her friends, combined in different ways. Occasionally this gets uncomfortable.

I saw ween last night
as in, seven hours ago

Did people sing along to Buenas Tardes Amigo? This has been my experience. The audience almost drowned out Ween.

I almost saw ween once :(

I have heard OF Ween.

no, sara, we're talking about the band ween

THANK YOU SCURVY, I REALIZE THAT

(honestly not wanting to imagine what you are pretending that you thought I meant)

too many jokes argh

my friend once got punched by a skinhead girl at a ween show. the band stopped playing and the girl started yelling at him and he got kicked out. haha. that kind of shit always happens to him

That sucks, but is also funny!

hi hi bump

hello estela were you aware that we are even slightly more popular and important today than we were yesterday?

no i wasn't but i'm not at all suprised, we are pretty terrific.

If I had energy or talent, I would sew badges for ITR.

They would say POPULAR and IMPORTANT

we could all get (spell-checked) tattoos.

This is incredibly tempting in my current state of mind.

The spell-checkers must, however, be sober.

the tattoo artists, however, are not allowed to be sober

good idea on the spell check, it would be sad to spend the rest of my life alking around with a "POPLAR AND IMPOTENT" tattoo.

also, "alking around" was a typo, but in retrospect, I like it.

I think a drunk tattoo artist is just what I need right now.

Also waiting for working definition of new verb, "alking."

alkying

So much clearer

all alk no action

alk the walk

ignoring wannabe "22 ftw" thread bump