TO MOLLIFY LINGJACKSON OVERDRIVEBERT WHO IS THE SQUEAKY DESERT FIEND, POST ON THIS THREAD AND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDLY ITR MODS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WICKED AWESOME, AND POSSIBLY OFFER AN EFFUSIVE ST

In Oklahoma, canidates are chosen by their ability to throw live snakes through a hoop 20 feet away.

John's from the south, Rubyredd. He has won elections in Texas, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and I think one in southern Florida once, but Jeb Bush invalidated that last one somehow.

It was Gertrude Stein who said of Oakland that "there's no there there." I don't know what I was thinking!

GODDAMNIT SARA YOU BASTARD OMG WTF!!!

John really hates crepes.

I have no fucking idea what the previous exchange is about but I approve of it regardless.

Dan is so easy to please.

i was thinking that sounded like a stein quote!

I don't know how I managed to confuse a Stein quote with an Alice Waters quote. Come to think of it, I can't imagine why I'd even think I KNEW an Alice Waters quote in the first place.

I THINK I'M SUFFERING SEVERE MINNESOTA BRANE FREEZE

Who the hell is Alice Waters? Unless you mean the Chef? Which would make no sense at all.

Yes, the chef. Which, YES, makes no sense, which was kind of my point about the brain freeze.

I want to go to San Francisco and get very fat and die in an earthquake.

Okay, that is only a third true, but I am bored so anything sounds better than sitting here freezing.

Finally warm due to exciting evening of weight lifting and laundry.

Of course as soon as I finish these tasks I will go back to being an ice cube. ;_;

hi hellow

good night probably i think maybe?

Approximately 13 hours ago, Sara went insane.

It was probably more like 13 years, but it's nice that you noticed.

WHY AM I SO WOOZY???

is it because I didn't drink last night????

YES

NEVER MAKE THIS MISTAKE AGAIN

second order of business: why the fuck did I buy real cheese instead of easy cheese from the convenience store? I am not up to this right now.

hey I drank every night last semester and got straight A's so clearly alcohol is magic. xp.

jessie, it's good to get perspective now and again: "this is how i feel when i don't drink. and that's why i drink."

there are people hollering in the street. why?

'cause there's something out there to get hollerin' about!

January 5th is National Hollerin' Day (Observed)

are y'all hollerin'?

Are you questioning my patriotism?

oh heavens no. seeking advice. i was going to go on to ask WHAT are y'all hollerin'? cuz i am unfamiliar with the ritual, you see, and i want to do it right.

I generally holler the names of things I see.

MARS BAR

TIRES PLUS

like that

FAT DUDE

COMPUTER SCREEN

got it. thanks for the help, you guys. i really appreciate it.

i'm going to practice inside before i go out into the street.

CLIF BAR

how was that? did i do okay?

GOOD JOB

I'm never any good at this holiday. All I want ever want to holler is swear words.

Wait that makes you aweseome at this holiday, wtf

It is the KIDS thing again. They are always like, "Mommy, you shouldnt' say that..."

A. is not going to correct me, but last week I was swearing about something and he said, "well, I'm never going to lose you in a dark cave, dear."

Otherwise I do rather enjoy the swearing, but I'm sure you knew that.

oh, if hollering swear words is okay, then i don't need to practice at all. i'm going outside now to begin the celebration!

It's too cold out here to go OUT and do it, and yet the weather is the perfect motivation for swearing.

It's a conundrum.

maybe you can holler loud enough indoors for it to be heard outdoors?

Actually, I don't doubt that I can!

3 hour later bump

i am home from new zealand, and very ill, help me itr.

VITAMIN C. LOTS OF IT.

Infinitely better advice than I was going to offer. Do that.

WATER/hydrate.

Avoid diuretics (i.e. alcohol, caffeine)