TO MOLLIFY LINGJACKSON OVERDRIVEBERT WHO IS THE SQUEAKY DESERT FIEND, POST ON THIS THREAD AND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDLY ITR MODS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WICKED AWESOME, AND POSSIBLY OFFER AN EFFUSIVE ST

Oh, to be young, single, and in a major metropolitan area.

Wait...

Shit.

In wine news, shit's going straight to my head. I ATE LIKE TWELVE TIMES TODAY, STOMACH. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

you're a cheap date, nothing wrong with that

I'm eating bread. Cheap date is fine, but I do intend to be up for the next four or five hours, and I will be drinking this bottle, so I'd rather not end up passed out in the backyard at 10am with my phone in my hand, every woman I've ever kissed on the 'Recent Calls' screen, my old Polish landlady poking me with a broom.

"Neecholas? Neecholas?"

lol i remember one night like a little over a year ago where i woke up one morning with my phone in my hand and some missed texts from horrible ex-texting gone wrong.

Yeah, that was supposed to be a dramatization, but pretty much everything I said happened about a year ago, but with an annoyed neighbor instead of a landlady.

I HAVE HEARD FROM THIS "JOHN JUSTEN" THAT HE IS ALSO SAD HE DID NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE FULL ON CRAZY TIME WITH TEH TEHRESA AND FOLKS ON FRIDAY NIGHT, BUT AT THAT POINT HE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN DRUNK ON A ROOF IN BROOKLYN YELLING AT PEOPLE AND TELLING ONE OF HIS TRAVELING PALS THAT HE WAS "GOING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE COLON SO HARD THAT HIS EYES WOULD BLEED"

THESE ARE OF COURSE SIMPLY RUMORS.

ALSO I HEAR TELL THAT HE MIGHT BE SUPER DRUNKIFIED AT THE MOMENT

ILX Poster 'BLACK BEYONCE': You Are An Inspiration To Us All. A Hearty Long Dram Of Cheap Wine To Your Honor And Health.

(Was going to post picture of self drinking here, but is too embarrassingly awful, will not do.)

did nick make it through his bottle of wine and pass out on the front lawn?

did tza get laid?

i had a ham sandwich.

Texts are evil and should be avoided. I also don't use the phone outside of work anymore. I've grown really sick of people breaking in to my bubble. I am in misanthropic form today.

Booty calls when they work = A++ When they don't = Even better as you have A++ self-mocking story for future use.

yeah but drunk+horny+retaining some dignity= text, because then you don't have to worry about saying something stupid if they decline your offer.

Clearly last night was an event.

I got 3/4 of the way through the bottle, put on Loveless (lol zeitgeist), and fell asleep. Oddly enough, I woke up an hour ago and feel fine.

Thanks, bread!

Suddenly so sad that I went to sleep last night instead of sitting at my computer.

^^^ Most pathetic post of entire thread?

Also, I'm just going to say this one time, but if someone could import this "text" technology to the early 90s, I am quite sure my younger, more hormone-driven self would appreciate it.

Sara, I liveblogged the drinking of a bottle of 3-buck Chuck.

You're fine.

xp

LOL point taken.

i passed out lol. then i woke up to txt that said 'sorry i had already passed out when you sent that last night' OH WELL.

sort of wishing the last 100 or so posts could be deleted though...

Don't worry: a day of random chatter will cause all of last night to recede into the center of the thread, never to be found again.

yes that is what i am hoping. KEEP TALKING, PEOPLE!

lol tza

;_;

Hey guys, did you hear about tehresa's booty call? Discuss.

ok see that's not funny.

I'm sorry.

i had to ride my bike to a female coworker's house yesterday to pick up some work stuff. she lives at the top of a big hill, and when i got there, i was totally out of breath and drenched in sweat.

should i be embarrassed?

also, this is the first time i've been around to see a hott night on ITR wither in the stark light of the following day. i kind of feel like i should be waking up on a floor with a hangover.

more talking

i need to go out to get an a/c, but i just can't bring myself to step outside into the nasty heat.

I have to proctor this afternoon. Yay lording it over OTHER students taking finals!

Then afterward we are going out for my son's birthday (he is TEN today!). In-laws are still here. I imagine that I'll be up late with my MIL, knitting.

I just went out and bought drapes and a curtain rod. at any moment i expect my testicles will shrivel and drop off.

fortunately your neighbors will not have to witness the terrible event, because your windows will be covered.

^^^excelsiored for posterity, before it slips into the black void of mollilingfybert

Too true.

Earlier:

i was totally out of breath and drenched in sweat.

Because you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

I have to buy 3 sets of blackout blinds and curtains. It worries me that this is seen as unmanly :( I am also mad keen on lamps and Art Deco yet I consider myself a man. In fact:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Basically Kipling is saying that it's okay to like lamps and things because I am the shit.

The End.

JERGINS –– the ballet was awesome (espesh the third act) –- THX. We called you late, but we wanted to buy you a beer.

Oh right and the fondness for blinds make me gay? The hell with this, when ballet leads to manly beers I am obviously totally out of the macho loop :(

remy! ha i didn't even know one of the tickets was for you. glad you guys had a good time. yeah, 'the concert' is just hilarious and great.

smith tomorrow?

x-x-post: yeah, I was about to say. What's this about manly ballet beer?

i would drink a beer with the ballet. with all of the remarkably perfect ballet asses, oh baby.

yeah, def smith tomorrow.

guys can i put a window unit in my wall a/c hole? they are so much cheaper. i ended up not buying a/c at all bc the dude was trying to make me spend $499 on the wall units and i simply can not do that.

tehresa, I'm no use with questions like this.

But I want some ballet, beer, and some curtains with rods, plz.

so hot and humid

It's warm/hot, very humid, and threatening storms here (and has been for the past x number of days). The sad part is that I literally have to wear a sweater to proctor exams; the concert hall where the tests are given is always weirdly chilly.