TO MOLLIFY LINGJACKSON OVERDRIVEBERT WHO IS THE SQUEAKY DESERT FIEND, POST ON THIS THREAD AND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDLY ITR MODS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WICKED AWESOME, AND POSSIBLY OFFER AN EFFUSIVE ST

also hi, happy saturday, i do not want to go to work tonight :( bye bye spring break.

Vampire Hands is a great band, but pale in comparison to the even more interestingly named Gay Witch Abortion

Hooray for Minneapolis band names. You may be too young to remember Skullfuck.

Between that and the backyard corn hole games, my mind is porridge.

It is kind of dismaying.

Ned's mind, I mean.

:-(

mmmm porridge.

also mmmm ned's dinner

mmmm eating Ned's branes

that made me puke a little in my throat

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg187/nick-uptoeleven/Brains.jpg

i am pretty drunk, as justine will testify.

you waster, you signed out of gchat! where'd ya go??

I am at work but leaving after intermission. Maybe tonight can still be salvaged?

I hope it can! I am just going to stay at home and read my textbooks and probably watch Cloverfield again, only this time with the Rifftrax. Whee!

Rifftrax was amusing but not brilliant. I suppose I should attempt to get to studying, but... naaaaah.

my annoying friend last night turned up looking like a transvestite from the 80s:

dead straight fringe and roots, with perma curls at the ends; bright red lippy inexpertly applied; blue eyeshadow and super thick black eyeliner; mini dress (girl's got BIG thighs - not fat but BIG); pale gold plastic peep-toe 4inch heels. it was pretty scary.

(says the girl with the big-enough-to-potentially-be-my-unborn-twin zit sprouting off her face)

uggggh dudes I think I left my package in a taxi
said package contained $140 worth of DVDs
I laugh because I have plenty of beer in the fridge, no kids, no mortgage, and can easily buy the same thing again and say out loud fuck you world

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I win?

cant' you call the taxi company?

LOL

oh wait american taxis aren't like nz taxis? cuz i've done that before and always gotten my stuff back. fucking americans.

http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1010/48097.1010.A.jpg

yeah that is total win
xpost

not only can i not walk around after 6pm on my own, but i can't forget shit in taxis when i move to US??? stink, man.

tehresa was your night saved?

http://cache.gridskipper.com/travel/dc%20cab%20standards-thumb.JPG

does the 'assn' stand for ASSASSIN?? because that would be rad

maybe. just got a text. is 1:25 too late to go meet a friend at the bar?

of course it is. stay home.

haha ok 2nd text confirms it is bar 8 blocks away instead of 1. that means stay home.

in other news I just took a big shit all over the vendor who sold me my package of $140 worth of DVDs (all teen porn obv (no srsly it was the entire series of hbo's Rome)) for making me do a bunch of extra work to get my package and it felt good. the last time I left negative feedback with a major amazon seller I got free shit, so we'll see.

tombot you are such a grandpa

i'm off the to the restaurant - from one shit job to another, oh how i love my life!

staying home would feel so much better if there was a bottle of bourbon here.

update: beer is delicious. For more on this story check out
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/179/436484349_cfd5bd23e6_o.jpg

Right now I am listening to a love song by Fat Larry's Band from their fucking classic genius album Breakin' Out and imagining that it is about beer because that seems like a truth bomb

IT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE
ME MAKIN LOVE TO YOU ALL NIGHT etc
OHHHHH
I NEED YOU DESPERATELY
AND I KNEW HOW IT WOULD BE
ALLLLLLL RIIIIIIGHT

AT LAST
I'VE FOUND MY GOLDEN MOMENTS etc
SAY IT ONE MORE TIME, SAY IT ONE MORE TIME
etc etc

The phrase "golden moments" in this context seems a bit alarming.

I have now reverted to my lame Crazy Study At Night Lady persona. I am reading about DIARRHEA. I defy you to have a lamer late night Saturday plan than *that*.

i just watched this week's 30 rock and now REALLY wish there was some form of alcohol in my fridge. blah.

ayo take a train I gots so much beer in the beer beer I dunno whadda do widdit y'know ay

see if this was LAST weekend and the beginning of spring break rather than the end, i'd be all over that. though probably more cost-effective to just go to the corner deli.

but i was thinking of going to dc, sis just happened to be out of town so it didn't work out.

kind of like how you shouldn't go grocery shopping when you haven't eaten, you shouldn't go to the liquor store when you're already an eight pack deep

truth bombs

I'm a fuckin truth b-2 over here

WORE A HAT
HAD A JOB
DROPPED THE TRUTH BOMBS
SO THAT
NO ONE KNEW

I am absorbing your truth bombs for future reference.

bunker busters of premature grandpa truthvision

time capsule that shit, yo

On a stone tablet.