Masturbating to images/thoughts of yr partner - c or d

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since many movies have tackled this 'controversial' subject, I'll ask. is it appropriate to masturbate to photos or thoughts of your loved one, or should this be relegated strictly to 'fantasy' material (ie, supermodels, the woman you saw at Food Lion last week, etc).

or should it be only to pics of Jesus

Neanderthal, Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:50 (four years ago) Permalink

Is it appropriate?! Christ, man, get a hold of yourself

i'm elf-ein lusophonic (imago), Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:51 (four years ago) Permalink

I do not have a 'partner' atm so this is purely hypothetical.

Neanderthal, Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:52 (four years ago) Permalink

this seems like one of those things where the right, moral answer is to only fantasize about your partner (didn't Jimmy Carter once admit that he has sinned in his heart*?), but in reality that's such a weird thing and i would never expect my partner to exclusively fantasize about me and it would be kinda strange if they did.

* Matthew 5:28 I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has in his heart already committed adultery.

Mordy, Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:52 (four years ago) Permalink

the other week my wife asked me if i ever fantasize about other ppl while we're having sex and tbh for me the answer is no, but i imagine that's a. more controversial and b. also very common

Mordy, Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:53 (four years ago) Permalink

I will admit to doing that^, but mostly during a time where I had an enlarged spleen due to mono so the actual physical sex activity did not feel good physically* and ergo, did not cause enough pleasure to uh, finish the race. i had to tap into my mental reserves to cross the finish line.

(*I wanted to wait for it to heal like my doctor suggested but my g/f at the time clearly stated "I'm not waiting that long").

Neanderthal, Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:56 (four years ago) Permalink

Is it appropriate?! Christ, man, get a hold of yourself

― i'm elf-ein lusophonic (imago), Sunday, August 10, 2014 6:51 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

iswydt

pictures of people who seem to have figured out how to use dropbox (wins), Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:58 (four years ago) Permalink

i like to masturbate to thoughts of myself riding a horse naked and wearing an american flag like a cape

Mordy, Sunday, 10 August 2014 18:01 (four years ago) Permalink

(*I wanted to wait for it to heal like my doctor suggested but my g/f at the time clearly stated "I'm not waiting that long").

― Neanderthal, Sunday, August 10, 2014 1:56 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that kinda sucks, how long can it take for a spleen to heal

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Sunday, 10 August 2014 19:21 (four years ago) Permalink

i mean it sucks regardless o_0

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Sunday, 10 August 2014 19:22 (four years ago) Permalink

without too much context, it sounds kinda abusive...

Treeship, Sunday, 10 August 2014 19:24 (four years ago) Permalink

neanderthal's thing about being pressured to have sex while sick that is

Treeship, Sunday, 10 August 2014 19:31 (four years ago) Permalink

We all like to masturbate to thoughts of Mordy riding a horse naked and wearing an american flag like a cape, imho.

StanM, Sunday, 10 August 2014 19:42 (four years ago) Permalink

re: the spleen thing, writing it the way I did makes it sound worse than it was. to begin, it only took me 3-4 weeks for it to heal, but at the time, I told by the docs to avoid physical activity (including sex) for like 3-4 MONTHS, cos y'know they always err on the side of caution. So that is how long she said she wouldn't wait (and can't blame her for that). But hearing her say that made me think twice about saying no when she was in the mood, too. we waited about a week after the diagnosis before she got impatient and said she'd rather risk getting mono than not have sex.

also, part of the problem is I didn't communicate well. if I told her how much it hurt she may have been more sympathetic

Neanderthal, Sunday, 10 August 2014 20:37 (four years ago) Permalink

id really rather you didn't do this tbh

Come and Heave a Ho (darraghmac), Sunday, 10 August 2014 20:37 (four years ago) Permalink

I told by the docs to avoid physical activity (including sex) for like 3-4 MONTHS, cos y'know they always err on the side of caution. So that is how long she said she wouldn't wait (and can't blame her for that)

if i was with someone, and had a medical reason to not be able to have sex for that amount of time, and they said they wouldn't wait in a way that sounded like an ultimatum, i think i'd blame them for that.

Treeship, Sunday, 10 August 2014 20:57 (four years ago) Permalink

but like, i guess it depends on the seriousness of the relationship, etc.

Treeship, Sunday, 10 August 2014 20:57 (four years ago) Permalink

Only inappropriate if you're a cop or a lawyer.

the one where, as balls alludes (Eazy), Sunday, 10 August 2014 22:52 (four years ago) Permalink

My boyfriend offered to exchange naked pics of myself for an audio recording "saying how strong and independent you are," which I thought was hilarious. Also I totally declined.

when you call my name it's like a prickly pear (Crabbits), Sunday, 10 August 2014 23:45 (four years ago) Permalink

the other week my wife asked me if i ever fantasize about other ppl while we're having sex

a question right up there with 'which of my friends do you find most attractive'

mookieproof, Monday, 11 August 2014 00:12 (four years ago) Permalink

^ that's the other person i fantasize about

Mordy, Monday, 11 August 2014 00:15 (four years ago) Permalink

* Matthew 5:28 I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has in his heart already committed adultery.

this is some flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat fucking bullshit

marcos, Monday, 11 August 2014 14:00 (four years ago) Permalink

well uh yeah its the bible on sex

Come and Heave a Ho (darraghmac), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:01 (four years ago) Permalink

Sin is any thought, word, or deed contrary to the will of God. So good luck having any fun. Signed, Satan who waits to devour you.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Monday, 11 August 2014 14:03 (four years ago) Permalink

oh he can devour me all he wants

Neanderthal, Monday, 11 August 2014 18:45 (four years ago) Permalink

Ironically enough, this thread has rather felt like stepping into your personal hell

i'm elf-ein lusophonic (imago), Monday, 11 August 2014 19:01 (four years ago) Permalink

At least it wasn't THIS retina-scorcher!

Neanderthal, Monday, 11 August 2014 19:05 (four years ago) Permalink

that's probably the laziest zing I've ever shipped on ILX, so there's that at least

i'm elf-ein lusophonic (imago), Monday, 11 August 2014 19:09 (four years ago) Permalink

I guess you've been told not to over-exert yourself

i'm elf-ein lusophonic (imago), Monday, 11 August 2014 19:10 (four years ago) Permalink

was about the level of interest i had engaging w/ u tbh

Neanderthal, Monday, 11 August 2014 19:12 (four years ago) Permalink

better zing there tbfttl

Come and Heave a Ho (darraghmac), Monday, 11 August 2014 20:51 (four years ago) Permalink

I never thought the thinking about other people during sex stuff was real until the end of a relationship where I wasn't into it emotionally - during sex it wasn't that I was picturing another person or face, but there was just a mental block at seeing my partner as my partner. I had kind of disassociated from what was physically happening. As a friend who was exiting a relationship recently put things, it wasn't that Ryan Gosling was fucking her, just a faceless person who wasn't her boyfriend.

I don't think I've ever masturbated to images/thoughts of a partner specifically, but toward the end of the act it usually becomes about a specific sex memory for me, whether that's with a current or former partner.

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, 14 August 2014 05:51 (four years ago) Permalink


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