are crushes awesome or what?

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erm, as it was all for a dare there was no consummation, but i was manually stimulated in turn by the girl i pulled and a boy who was also in the room, who wanted to see my knob in a fully erect state. alas, i had drunk far too much to get it all the way up (it still beat HIS even at 90%) and the full glory was spared. there were 3 boys and 3 girls in the room, all 3 boys and 1 of the girls were fully naked, and the other 2 girls were only wearing knickers. the night ended (after the naked girl upped sticks and headed off) with a wanking contest, the 2 remaining girls (whose idea it was) watching intently as we strived to bring ourselves to climax. it took me about twice as long as anyone else, mostly through fear of being struck by another's jet, being as i was in the centre of the three. throughout, i was made up in lipstick, rouge and a headband, and when i had been wearing clothes it had been drag. one of those ordinary student nights, then...

― unfished business, Monday, 12 March 2007 11:52 (seventeen years ago) link

That's a parody post, right?

― Mark C, Monday, 12 March 2007 12:11 (seventeen years ago) link

WHAT. OMG. OMG. MUST INSTALL KILLFILE AT WORK. OMG MY EYES.

― jessie monster, Monday, 12 March 2007 13:52 (seventeen years ago) link

i was about to post something droll and catty but louis's post has taken the wind out of my sails somewhat.

― CharlieNo4, Monday, 12 March 2007 13:58 (seventeen years ago) link

"bring back national service" would suffice I think.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 12 March 2007 14:05 (seventeen years ago) link

louis, don't ever change.

― emsk, Monday, 12 March 2007 14:05 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Cats/Kill-Me-Now.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 12 March 2007 14:09 (seventeen years ago) link

I've made up my mind to get rejected by my crush this weekend and get it over with.

Jordan on Tuesday, March 6, 2007 4:01 PM (5 days ago)

Done (she has boyfriend).

― Jordan, Monday, 12 March 2007 14:20 (seventeen years ago) link

ljagger did the above situation involve that American? young lady you were co-presenting with on your student radio station show

― djmartian, Monday, 12 March 2007 14:20 (seventeen years ago) link

oh dear god. . .

― Ms Misery, Monday, 12 March 2007 14:20 (seventeen years ago) link

Holy crap, Louis!

But why didn't you tell us someone filmed the whole evening? ( [Removed Illegal Link] )

― StanM, Monday, 12 March 2007 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

(that was a link to the Yip Yip Martians on YouTube, called "NSFW CLIP!!!" but that "removed illegal link" thing because of the exclamation marks I put inside the square brackets inside of outside seemed even better)

― StanM, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:14 (seventeen years ago) link

@#$T@#$^@##$U@^J#^@#$#@$^n

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:14 (seventeen years ago) link

LJ, you are a treat sometimes.

― kv_nol, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:25 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm not sure what's funnier, "struck by another's jet" or the fact that Martian wants to hear MORE detail.

― Matt DC, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I mean I had some times at university, but...

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Nick your story was even more disgusting than Louis' so don't start.

― Matt DC, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I went to the wrong university, ~~unfortunately~~ ~~thank god~~ I believe.

― StanM, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:34 (seventeen years ago) link

The virginity one? At least there were only two people in the room, even if their was vomit and fingers-in-bums. Homoerotic group masturbation didn't happen until much later.

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Stylus magazine Xmas bash, I heard?

― Matt DC, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Louis is surely going to confirm that that this all happened in a tutorial, yes?

I am not clicking any more on this thread for fear of Nick revealing more details.

― Dr.C, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:39 (seventeen years ago) link

perhaps systems thinking will engender holistic analysis

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:40 (seventeen years ago) link

passantino has the softest hands

― and what, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:40 (seventeen years ago) link

Stylus magazine Xmas bash, I heard?

Dom's slash fiction is more like transcripts of videos of him, Paul Scott and Swygart on an average Tuesday evening with the names changed.

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:40 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a disturbing picture on Louis' Facebook that adds serious credence to this.

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:45 (seventeen years ago) link

OH GOD NO.

― jessie monster, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:46 (seventeen years ago) link

OMG. HE'S RIGHT
OMG
OMG

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

http://photos-970.ak.facebook.com/ip002/v65/188/66/36907582/t36907582_32944970_8865.jpg

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU.

― jessie monster, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

It's apparent in the full version that Louis is wearing make-up and smiling in a drunken manner.

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Jesus christ, I come to post on Innocent Crush Thread only to find it has turned into something much much worse.

Nevermind, crush thread.

― nickalicious, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:49 (seventeen years ago) link

he looks like he should have wood panelling behind him

― and what, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Every time LJ is mention Jessie appears. Is the crush awesome? :)

― kv_nol, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:50 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahahaha

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:50 (seventeen years ago) link

actually I have him killfiled at home (now here too). So no, not that awesome. :( xpost

― jessie monster, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

dude seems to dress in drag pretty regularly, no?

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

HE'S AT CAMBRIDGE.

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/1879194252.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V43935820_.jpg

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Fagging in British English, is used (as a verb and a noun) to refer to a kind of apprenticeship practiced historically within public schools. Younger boys within the school "fagged" for the older boys (often prefects) by acting as an unpaid servant, performing menial tasks such as cleaning a sports kit.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:55 (seventeen years ago) link

"cleaning" "sports kit"

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I would also ask the question of Dom or is it more of an obsession?

― kv_nol, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:56 (seventeen years ago) link

I dunno why Dom even tries to slander him anymore.

― jessie monster, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:58 (seventeen years ago) link

srsly rethinking moving back to cambridge now

― That one guy that quit, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:58 (seventeen years ago) link

so is this like fraternity hazing, except more overtly homo??

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 12 March 2007 15:59 (seventeen years ago) link

tbh, as far as Oxbridge stuff goes, this is pretty much as hetro as it gets.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Chris Rent is never anyone's real name

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Just been giggling uncontrollably at the last 50 posts or so. I should have suspected such a frenzy all along; this is what generally happens when I post a) drunk or b) still drunk the morning after.

Oh god, the horror IT IS IN MY HEAD ARGH

i am a disgrace

also, the answer is 'alas, no', dj martian.

― unfished business, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:22 (seventeen years ago) link

So it's true? Um, go Louis, I think.

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh god, the horror IT IS IN MY HEAD ARGH
OTMFM

― .stet., Monday, 12 March 2007 16:28 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/pics3/alwaysyogurting.jpg

― TOMBOT, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:30 (seventeen years ago) link

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