your most important local news story the world must know about

http://www.montereyherald.com/mld/montereyherald/news/weird_news/15868018.htm

brutal 45 min rainstorm in karachi

whoa

Karaoke singer attacked after starting song

It could have been the Coldplay song "Yellow" that upset the patron of a Wallingford neighborhood bar. Or perhaps it was the karaoke singer who belted it out.

Employees at Changes, on North 45th Street, said they don't know, but the ensuing melee just past 1 a.m. Thursday was one unlike anything seen at the bar before.

As soon as the man on stage started singing about the stars in his best Chris Martin impersonation, the woman reportedly said: "Oh, no, not that song. I can't stand that song!"

Witnesses said her distaste for Coldplay quickly took a violent turn, and she leaped at the would-be crooner, shouting expletives and telling him that his singing "sucked," while expressing the same opinion of the song, according to a Seattle police report.

She pushed the man and punched him, all in an effort to stop his singing.

Musharraf's pet dealt vigilante justice at the hands of lawyers (of all people)

The Hawaii Superferry!

Strong storm takes aim at Pacific Northwest

A strong area of low pressure that has energy from the remnants of Tropical Storm Lingling is expected to strengthen again and push toward the Pacific Northwest.

big or small?

!!!

whoa here i cum ;)

http://honoluluadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080117/BREAKING/80117001/1314

http://www.nbc4.com/news/13859930/detail.html

http://www.nbc4.com/2007/0809/13859839.jpg

no wai

two more people on to the highway:

http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2008/Jan/30/br/br8597203164.html

i drove past the last one on the other side of the median u_u

This story has been removed

Australian PM says sorry to indigenous Australians. 98% of Australia rejoices, 2% are bigoted fucks.

ya really.
My co-worker's bf was in the office before and he showed me this sms that said something like "I'll say sorry when they say sorry for the 1 million cars they've stolen"

I bet the person who sent that has suffered no social prejudice or poverty.

like 50% of all cars and trucks in our metropolitan area are in some form of wreck right now I think

hooray ice. hooray me not owning a car

they were just showing sidewalk footage on the news of people slipping around all over the place downtown

there's a pileup on basically every exit ramp and every bridge leading in and out of the city

Most important story here:

http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/1368/picture3gc7.png

lik my ballz

Seattle Police arrested a 35-year-old man for indecent exposure at Green Lake Park on Monday afternoon after a woman caught the man beating off in the bushes.

According to the police report, the woman hid behind a tree and called police while she watched the man masturbate. While on the phone, the woman told police she “thought that [the man] had some kind of flesh-colored realistic-looking phony penis strapped to his genitals.”

The woman also told police she recognized the man who, according a police report, had masturbated in front of the woman and her daughter near the Green Lake Community Center three days earlier.

Officers arrived and contacted the man, who produced a dildo from his pants told police that he only had it “to make it look like he did have a large real penis through his tight fitting pants.”

Police arrested the man and confiscated his dildo. The report says the man has a prior conviction for indecent exposure.

:]

Bill would rename D.C. streetWashington Business Journal - by Jonathan O'Connell Staff Reporter

View Larger
U2 famously sang about a place where the streets have no names.

The Irish rockers apparently don’t know how it works in D.C.

A bill before the D.C. Council would rename a portion of South Capitol Street SE as “Taxation Without Representation Street.” And you thought it was hard finding your way around when it was South Capitol. Try sticking “Taxation Without Representation Street” into Google Maps or your GPS.

It’s unclear what portion would be renamed. Our guess: The stretch near Nationals Park, ensuring plenty of out-of-towners are introduced to D.C.’s fight for a vote in Congress.

The defacto D.C. slogan is already on the city’s license plates. The city approved adding the slogan to the official city flag, though no new design has been introduced or approved. Officials tried — and failed, thanks to the feds — to have it imprinted on the District’s quarter.

Council members Kwame Brown, Carol Schwartz, Harry “Tommy” Thomas and Tommy Wells sponsored the bill, which was referred to the Committee of the Whole.

Seattle Police have arrested a man who allegedly robbed Capitol Hill's favorite dildo emporium, Babeland, last Thursday night.

Yesterday, police arrested Charmarke Abdi-Issa, 28, for investigation of robbery. Police believe Abdi-Issa has robbed seven small businesses and one cab driver since October 28th.

According to Babeland staff, Abdi-Issa came in to their store around 9pm on November 13th and told an employee he was looking for a Fleshlight. When an employee opened the cash register to ring him up, Abdi-Issa allegedly pulled a gun and told the staff member to go to the back of the store.

Babeland's Assistant Manager, Status Causey, says Abdi-Issa left with about $175 and the Fleshlight.

quite a pull

Ohio 'underwear researcher' admits molesting kids
Thursday, December 11, 2008 4:57 PM

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CINCINNATI -- An Ohio man has pleaded guilty to charges he fooled parents into letting him be alone with their children so he could sexually touch them while pretending to be an underwear market researcher.

Forty-four-year-old Ben Hawkins, of Springfield Township in suburban Cincinnati, could receive a maximum of 44 years in prison at his Jan. 29 sentencing.

Hamilton County prosecutors say Hawkins looked for boys and girls between the ages of 9 and 16. They say he arranged to meet parents and children at schools, hospitals or at their homes and told parents he needed to measure underwear for research.

Hawkins pleaded guilty yesterday to nine charges of importuning and three counts of gross sexual imposition.

???

there is this guy who rammed a petroleum delivery truck into the original local hell's angels motherbrain. he has no regrets at all , we are all baby panda baout him

http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82520

Woman Injured In Sex Toy Mishap

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary's county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George's hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter.

On Wednesday, Saint Mary's County Sheriffs released an update on their investigation. Detectives conducted an investigation which determined the injury was a result of a consensual act between two parties and no crime was committed.

.
Written by Bill Starks
9NEWS NOW & wusa9.com

Ow!

>:O

oh fuck

http://www.tool-net.co.uk/data/tools/sasagsa900e.jpg

Chemistry TA fired

Melissa Stredney allegedly gave undeserved grades, encouraged students to cheat
Gina Ferrentino
Issue date: 3/12/09 Section: Campus

Plainclothes police enter a shopping centre in a rural town, shoot a bird, and leave.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahryan/police-shooting-magpies-lismore

Sometimes there is a presentation of some sort of news, that is so beautiful, and so odd, that you don’t even want to find out any more information than you’ve been given. For me, this was one of those moments.

"When you’re going down the pendulous breasts fly up like wings," said one organizer of the Skywhale hot air balloon's newest journey. "It's really got a life to itself." https://t.co/JchEHcCp3V
— The New York Times (@nytimes) October 18, 2018

What I see and what I know is that there’s a hot air balloon, shaped like a whale—and for some reason, a reason I will must never find out—the whale has a toupee of skinny breasts dangling off either side, that apparently float upwards as the balloon descends. Australia, thank you for this gift.

Woman gives it some classic "stand next to it and point at it for the photo" in this "wild ducks terrorise (and shit all over the sidewalk of) residential area" story: https://www.gva.be/cnt/dmf20190124_04129619/wilde-eenden-terroriseren-woonwijk

Is she a local councillor?

No, she lives in the area and complains about having to clean it up (and blames the council for feeding the wild ducks)

It's a classic local councillor pose, as immortalized in the fine Local councillors thread.

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/crime/tim-eyman-under-investigation-in-theft-of-70-chair-from-office-depot/

yaaay fuck this guy

Police arrested a 38-year-old man for DUI for the second time in a week after he picked up his car from an impound lot, promptly crashed it into another vehicle, fled from police when they showed up at his house a short time later, and then sat in his truck outside his parents’ home in the gated Broadmoor community for several hours doing whippets as he ignored SPD negotiators.

Ah, is it springtime in the Ozarks already?

https://i.imgur.com/ook25Ml.jpg

*star-spangled banner plays, eagle cries in the distance*

They took turns donning the vest, btw, not both at once.

What were they arrested for?

Aggravated Assault - https://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2019/apr/03/affidavit-2-men-don-vest-shoot-20190403/?news-arkansas

They took turns donning the vest, btw, not both at once.

― pplains, Wednesday, April 3, 2019 7:12 AM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Don’t these things only work once

at least twice, seems like

Or six times.

*stuffs air bag back into steering column*

"OK! Your turn!"

Ferris told the deputy he had been shot six times, once in the chest and five times in the back, while protecting a man he called his "asset," according to the affidavit.

He went to the hospital after accidentally shooting himself in the penis, the report says. While a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, a balloon of marijuana allegedly slipped out of his anus. And his troubles didn't end there. https://t.co/1MFA2mHz47

— KTVU (@KTVU) May 24, 2019

Editor's Note: This story initially reported the man accidentally shot himself in the penis. He actually accidentally shot himself in the testicles.

lock thread, that story will never be eclipsed

Weeds legal in Washington so why would you need to carry it in your anus?

a cry for help?

Detectives declined to arrest Wilson at the hospital and instead issued an arrest warrant on suspicion of second-degree felon in possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth. He was charged April 16.

Wilson, an East Wenatchee resident, turned himself in April 18. A detective told corrections officers at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center of Wilson’s proclivity to store marijuana in unconventional places.

During a strip search, another balloon of marijuana slipped from Wilson’s anus, according to a probable cause affidavit filed April 19 in superior court.

Kingston University campus evacuated over 'WW2 bomb'

I went to Kingston University and Fassett Road is right round the back of the main site. The countless number of times I've walked down that street and there was an unexploded bomb there the whole time!

I guess he read the health dept ads in the paper advising you to keep yr weed locked away from your children

an important sliver of cuisine history: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/gloucestershire/7587978.stm

catching up on old bookmarks, i was quite excited to see this in that chicken in a basket number:

A spokesman for owners Samuel Smith's said it was a "no comment situation".

gripped by a desire to use this at some point.

INXS guitarist suing Sydney boat hire company after severing finger

"I find my reattached ring finger to be an annoyance and unsightly."

at the mls all star game in portland i ate a weed brownie and thought i might float onto the field

loled at both these posts

"vince hunt's road!"

County councillor in resurfacing row https://t.co/cGVpTXJI7M pic.twitter.com/8J7dVLzG2T

— SHROPSHIRE (@DailySHROPSHIRE) August 14, 2019

Striking looking fellow.

An Iron Man balloon has triggered a major rescue operation after mistakenly being reported as a person wearing a jet pack over the waters in Fife.

HM Coastguard was called at 10:40am today after a witness reported seeing a person wearing a jet pack entering the water at Kirkcaldy.

The "person" had been seen hovering over the water and then disappeared.

ah yes, the classic blunder of assuming a floating human shape must be a person wearing a jetpack

(not local to me) (sadly)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EC6aRx1W4AEYVI0?format=png

https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/boxing-legend-carl-froch-says-3353675

i mean the thing that boxers box in is called a ring and *it* isn't round so maybe he has a point

'I can't get a signal in Calverton. They [astronauts] had a conversation with Nixon in space.'

It's good how his standard for truth that the earth is round is having Richard Branson, of all people, go up in space to confirm this

"i refuse to accept that a particle can also be a wave until richard branson is successfuly fired into the sun"

now that's an experiment I can get behind

https://i.imgur.com/MhZ47k7.jpg

"Talk to me, astronauts."

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-accused-shoplifting-says-i-3366800

"I felt like I was a little man, be it one with a large penis, against this big corporate company. It's so frustrating."

same

Would someone really go to the point of showing their penis if they weren't telling the truth?

two balls and the truth: the steve whitehurst story

When arrested one gang member was found with a Kinder Egg capsule stuffed with crack and heroin between his buttocks https://t.co/yCQ9aTB5Tb

— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) October 3, 2019

top row, second from the right

that's why they're illegal in the US

Fair enough, but there are still plenty of Americans walking around with crack between their buttocks.

Escaped pig closes A31 for more than four hours

A PIG forced the A31 in Farnham to close this Wednesday, after it escaped from a horse box and was stuck on the central reservation.

This part of the A31 is called the Hog's Back.