your most important local news story the world must know about

http://www.montereyherald.com/mld/montereyherald/news/weird_news/15868018.htm

brutal 45 min rainstorm in karachi

whoa

Karaoke singer attacked after starting song

It could have been the Coldplay song "Yellow" that upset the patron of a Wallingford neighborhood bar. Or perhaps it was the karaoke singer who belted it out.

Employees at Changes, on North 45th Street, said they don't know, but the ensuing melee just past 1 a.m. Thursday was one unlike anything seen at the bar before.

As soon as the man on stage started singing about the stars in his best Chris Martin impersonation, the woman reportedly said: "Oh, no, not that song. I can't stand that song!"

Witnesses said her distaste for Coldplay quickly took a violent turn, and she leaped at the would-be crooner, shouting expletives and telling him that his singing "sucked," while expressing the same opinion of the song, according to a Seattle police report.

She pushed the man and punched him, all in an effort to stop his singing.

Musharraf's pet dealt vigilante justice at the hands of lawyers (of all people)

The Hawaii Superferry!

Strong storm takes aim at Pacific Northwest

A strong area of low pressure that has energy from the remnants of Tropical Storm Lingling is expected to strengthen again and push toward the Pacific Northwest.

big or small?

!!!

whoa here i cum ;)

http://honoluluadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080117/BREAKING/80117001/1314

http://www.nbc4.com/news/13859930/detail.html

http://www.nbc4.com/2007/0809/13859839.jpg

no wai

two more people on to the highway:

http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2008/Jan/30/br/br8597203164.html

i drove past the last one on the other side of the median u_u

This story has been removed

Australian PM says sorry to indigenous Australians. 98% of Australia rejoices, 2% are bigoted fucks.

ya really.
My co-worker's bf was in the office before and he showed me this sms that said something like "I'll say sorry when they say sorry for the 1 million cars they've stolen"

I bet the person who sent that has suffered no social prejudice or poverty.

like 50% of all cars and trucks in our metropolitan area are in some form of wreck right now I think

hooray ice. hooray me not owning a car

they were just showing sidewalk footage on the news of people slipping around all over the place downtown

there's a pileup on basically every exit ramp and every bridge leading in and out of the city

Most important story here:

http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/1368/picture3gc7.png

lik my ballz

Seattle Police arrested a 35-year-old man for indecent exposure at Green Lake Park on Monday afternoon after a woman caught the man beating off in the bushes.

According to the police report, the woman hid behind a tree and called police while she watched the man masturbate. While on the phone, the woman told police she “thought that [the man] had some kind of flesh-colored realistic-looking phony penis strapped to his genitals.”

The woman also told police she recognized the man who, according a police report, had masturbated in front of the woman and her daughter near the Green Lake Community Center three days earlier.

Officers arrived and contacted the man, who produced a dildo from his pants told police that he only had it “to make it look like he did have a large real penis through his tight fitting pants.”

Police arrested the man and confiscated his dildo. The report says the man has a prior conviction for indecent exposure.

:]

Bill would rename D.C. streetWashington Business Journal - by Jonathan O'Connell Staff Reporter

View Larger
U2 famously sang about a place where the streets have no names.

The Irish rockers apparently don’t know how it works in D.C.

A bill before the D.C. Council would rename a portion of South Capitol Street SE as “Taxation Without Representation Street.” And you thought it was hard finding your way around when it was South Capitol. Try sticking “Taxation Without Representation Street” into Google Maps or your GPS.

It’s unclear what portion would be renamed. Our guess: The stretch near Nationals Park, ensuring plenty of out-of-towners are introduced to D.C.’s fight for a vote in Congress.

The defacto D.C. slogan is already on the city’s license plates. The city approved adding the slogan to the official city flag, though no new design has been introduced or approved. Officials tried — and failed, thanks to the feds — to have it imprinted on the District’s quarter.

Council members Kwame Brown, Carol Schwartz, Harry “Tommy” Thomas and Tommy Wells sponsored the bill, which was referred to the Committee of the Whole.

Seattle Police have arrested a man who allegedly robbed Capitol Hill's favorite dildo emporium, Babeland, last Thursday night.

Yesterday, police arrested Charmarke Abdi-Issa, 28, for investigation of robbery. Police believe Abdi-Issa has robbed seven small businesses and one cab driver since October 28th.

According to Babeland staff, Abdi-Issa came in to their store around 9pm on November 13th and told an employee he was looking for a Fleshlight. When an employee opened the cash register to ring him up, Abdi-Issa allegedly pulled a gun and told the staff member to go to the back of the store.

Babeland's Assistant Manager, Status Causey, says Abdi-Issa left with about $175 and the Fleshlight.

quite a pull

Ohio 'underwear researcher' admits molesting kids
Thursday, December 11, 2008 4:57 PM

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CINCINNATI -- An Ohio man has pleaded guilty to charges he fooled parents into letting him be alone with their children so he could sexually touch them while pretending to be an underwear market researcher.

Forty-four-year-old Ben Hawkins, of Springfield Township in suburban Cincinnati, could receive a maximum of 44 years in prison at his Jan. 29 sentencing.

Hamilton County prosecutors say Hawkins looked for boys and girls between the ages of 9 and 16. They say he arranged to meet parents and children at schools, hospitals or at their homes and told parents he needed to measure underwear for research.

Hawkins pleaded guilty yesterday to nine charges of importuning and three counts of gross sexual imposition.

???

there is this guy who rammed a petroleum delivery truck into the original local hell's angels motherbrain. he has no regrets at all , we are all baby panda baout him

http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82520

Woman Injured In Sex Toy Mishap

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary's county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George's hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter.

On Wednesday, Saint Mary's County Sheriffs released an update on their investigation. Detectives conducted an investigation which determined the injury was a result of a consensual act between two parties and no crime was committed.

.
Written by Bill Starks
9NEWS NOW & wusa9.com

Ow!

>:O

oh fuck

http://www.tool-net.co.uk/data/tools/sasagsa900e.jpg

Chemistry TA fired

Melissa Stredney allegedly gave undeserved grades, encouraged students to cheat
Gina Ferrentino
Issue date: 3/12/09 Section: Campus

that's why they're illegal in the US

Fair enough, but there are still plenty of Americans walking around with crack between their buttocks.

Escaped pig closes A31 for more than four hours

A PIG forced the A31 in Farnham to close this Wednesday, after it escaped from a horse box and was stuck on the central reservation.

This part of the A31 is called the Hog's Back.

https://i.imgur.com/HEcD3t5.png

lol ffs

Drugs and weapons seized from Shifnal https://t.co/uemjW1ZDwJ pic.twitter.com/EDoibp72GK

— SHROPSHIRE (@DailySHROPSHIRE) January 6, 2020

this is shifnal (nearly all of it)l:

http://www.shifnal.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/image2-392x280.jpg

you can see the drugs in that picture

wow what a haul, great work coppers

They say everyone has a talent. Whether it's singing, playing the oboe or firing off free kicks on the football field.

But some talents are altogether weirder, as Holly Fairfax has discovered.

It took Holly many years to discover her unique, but now she's found it she wants to make the most of it.

So what is it? Well, her knees look just like Grant and Phil Mitchell from EastEnders - and she can even make them talk too!

Holly, 40, says she first noticed the uncanny likeness around seven years ago.

But it was only recently that she realised it was very unique and might even be something that others found entertaining.

https://i2-prod.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/article3721474.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_Untitled-design-2.png

They say everyone has a talent. Whether it's singing, playing the oboe or firing off free kicks on the football field.

But some talents are altogether weirder, as Holly Fairfax has discovered.

It took Holly many years to discover her unique, but now she's found it she wants to make the most of it.

So what is it? Well, her knees look just like Grant and Phil Mitchell from EastEnders - and she can even make them talk too!

Holly, 40, says she first noticed the uncanny likeness around seven years ago.

But it was only recently that she realised it was very unique and might even be something that others found entertaining.

https://i2-prod.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/article3721474.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_Untitled-design-2.png

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-massage-therapist-misconduct-book-summaries-1.5442239

A man has been spotted being questioned by police after walking a woman in a "dog gimp suit" on a leash along a busy Glasgow street.

Pictures posted online show two officers questioning the man along with the masked woman on Cathcart Road sometime between 11 and 11.30am this morning.

The moment was captured by roofer Iain Mcgeough, who has since gone viral after sharing it on Facebook.

He wrote: "Just witnessed a guy gettin pulled wae the cops for walking his burd on a leash with a dog gimp mask and everything on haha.

"Just another normal Monday morning in glesga eh haha".

https://www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/resources/images/11037421.jpg?type=article-full

haha

we do really need a Real Scotland thread

https://www.kark.com/news/local-news/neighborhood-terrorized-nightly-by-group-of-people/

https://i.imgur.com/oUiH9y2.gif

every sentence in that article sounds fake

Saline County

“We need some help or something,” said Joshua Wright, a homeowner.

Purple paint signifies no trespassing as well.

“You ask them to leave and they just stand there and look at you,” said an anonymous neighbor.

what the fuck is happening in Arkansas!!!

I thought maybe someone let a child mess around with the CMS but Haylee Brooks is evidently an adult woman

pplains I'm seriously losing it here what am I looking at

I’m just trying to imagine how the story tip came in. “People, a group of people, come to our neighborhood at night.”

“I’m not sure that’s a story for us”
“Well, they have flashlights”
“Don’t move I’ll be there with the van”

I’m seriously totally at sea here

I'm wondering if the lights at night came from ... newscameras?

Not local to me now but a few miles from where I grew up. Everyone used to call this town STRANGE RANGE for a reason

https://www.uppermichiganssource.com/content/news/Sheriffs-office--569576961.html

My local rag trying out new adjectives

Officers say the paramedics were treating a burly man when he suddenly lashed out and hit one paramedic with a crutch and threw another over a couch.

beware the burly man

paramedics were treating a hurdy gurdy man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6yXTAZKoyE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8Jx_Hq4J-Y

http://mindfulconstruct.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Burlyman-sticker-001-196x300.jpg

Love the local interest angle here

https://www.ayrshiredailynews.co.uk/post/south-ayrshire-golf-club-owner-loses-2020-presidential-election

Donald Trump, a South Ayrshire golf club owner, has lost the 2020 presidential election to Joe Biden

Classic Scottish local newspaper journalism.

An Annapolis woman said she could have been killed had it not been for the infamous “penis house.”

Melissa Shanker wasn’t planning to go out on Dec. 12, but she left her home on a whim — just before it burned to the ground — to see the home in Cape St. Claire that went viral on social media.

“The penis lights kept her from harm,” said Mary Newman, Shanker’s friend. “It was a Christmas miracle.”

The Green Holly Drive house Shanker rented the basement for herself and her 6-year-old daughter was already collapsing by the time firefighters got to it at 10:37 p.m. Fifty-five firefighters from five departments assisted in extinguishing the flames. One suffered minor burns and was taken to John Hopkins Bayview Medical Center.

Shanker left earlier that night when a friend asked to go check out the phallic light display. When they couldn’t find it, the women went back to Shanker’s house and were just about to head inside when she said another friend called saying she knew where the house was and asked for a ride.

When they got to the home on Ramblewood, Shanker and her friends were disappointed to see the rooftop display was not lit and they decided to head back to her place. That’s when Shanker’s roommate called and told her he had just escaped the burning house.

The home was a total loss, Shanker said, with nothing salvageable.

Shanker said she would have been asleep with her daughter on a normal night, and fears they would have been injured or worse her daughter not been there that night.

“Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained,” Shanker said.

“Now, knowing that it could have saved our lives I’m more determined than ever to see the penis house relit.”

Capt. Russ Davies, spokesperson for the Anne Arundel County Fire Department, didn’t want to speculate about what could have happened had Shanker been home.

Investigators suspect the cause was an unattended wood fire or fireplace started on the back porch. Shanker and her friends may have found it earlier had they been home, Davies said, but all he knows now is she’s safe.

“It was a serious, fast-moving fire,” Davies said. “They certainly would have been in danger. By not being in the house, at all that definitely removes the risk.”

Heh. Just came here to post that. For context:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CIYfmQ2pIvL/?utm_source=ig_embed

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/131354640_114156307216105_6053515224115782788_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&ccb=2&_nc_sid=09cbfe&_nc_ohc=kHPYPNm8vAAAX9dMsIk&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&oh=d5a092219237545db2095b759989ab64&oe=6003C654

Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained

i've already shared this with 5 people, thanking u

miracle on 69 street

the funny thing, to me, is that as capt. russ davies implied, had they been home they might have been able to extinguish the fire. so the penis house may be to blame for her house burning down.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-55912864

Giant snake discovered in Greenock street dies

Police said they had no information about pictures of a different dead snake, said to have been found near the town, which have been circulating on social media.

You can't expect the authorities to keep up with everything.

is this the kind of town that you can become the mayor of by virtue of rolling into town with new rumors of a THIRD dead snake?

i saw it, clear as day, also near town, just like the other. it was dead

Nah, its probably more of a Shelbyville dead snake anyway

lol deems

local FB traffic has gone as high as 14 snakes in various parts of town and in varying health

it's like when there's a mass shooting and it takes 2 hours to determine that it's almost always just the one lone wolf/snake

I also saw at least one Sam L Jackson meme in passing

As if people need any more reasons to avoid Greenock.

xp black snake mon

Here's why it's important to support local news.

https://i.imgur.com/Dxg9nVM.jpg