OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (ten years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (ten years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (ten years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (ten years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (ten years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (ten years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (ten years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (ten years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (ten years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (ten years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (ten years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (ten years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (ten years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Clone Band

leprechaundriac (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:11 (four weeks ago) Permalink

or would "Clonely" be better?

leprechaundriac (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:12 (four weeks ago) Permalink

clonely is better

mark s, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:13 (four weeks ago) Permalink

When I'm 64 clearly about cloning overkill

President Keyes, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:13 (four weeks ago) Permalink

tbf original Paul was the philanderer

mh, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:22 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Yes, but the guy they replaced Paul with after he died has proven to remarkably faithful to his spouses.

Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:24 (four weeks ago) Permalink

I Married Paul

President Keyes, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:28 (four weeks ago) Permalink

at the end of the day, any band that can inspire something like this is inherently evil:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59ahx9ckqIw

scott seward, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 16:10 (four weeks ago) Permalink

that whole movie is a cringefest

leprechaundriac (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 16:15 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Tim Burton's Pepperland! would be the logical next step.

scott seward, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 16:25 (four weeks ago) Permalink

at least the dumb bee gees one had earth, wind, & fire.

scott seward, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 16:25 (four weeks ago) Permalink

and aerosmith

maura, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 16:38 (four weeks ago) Permalink

yeah that was the only other high point.

scott seward, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 17:15 (four weeks ago) Permalink

that movie is one long low point

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 31 May 2017 17:17 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Tim Burton's Pepperland! would be the logical next step.

― scott seward, Wednesday, May 31, 2017 4:25 PM (two hours ago)

this will totally happen in my lifetime, won't it

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 19:25 (four weeks ago) Permalink

I remember watching a BBC documentary about '70s brit heavy metal where a couple of interviewees (I'm 99% sure one was Tony Iommi) mentioned in passing an antagonism towards soul music (or at least the soul club scene of the time), the point wasn't really picked up on but it wasn't something I'd ever seen or heard mentioned before

This feels more like Mids v. Rockers to me...? I've always suspected that punk & disco were two sides of the same Mod coin

the rockists' red glare (Drugs A. Money), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 19:27 (four weeks ago) Permalink

*Mods v. Rockers lol

the rockists' red glare (Drugs A. Money), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 19:27 (four weeks ago) Permalink

No, was definitely Geezer Butler. Was a story about how he met Ozzy, that he'd been at the blues club and Ozzy had been at the soul club and they glared at each other across the street on the way home. And through the miracle of YouTube...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egCAUuBN0vI

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Friday, 2 June 2017 09:34 (three weeks ago) Permalink

That's actually a different clip though! I was sure the original poster was referring to an interview in the Heavy Metal Britannia documentary and, through the miracle of YouTube, I found it. Geezer Butler, talking about the early days of Sabbath, says, at one point, "Everywhere you went it was soul clubs... I was just absolutely sick of going to places and listening to soul music..."

Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Friday, 2 June 2017 10:00 (three weeks ago) Permalink

haven't seen the clip and so can't necessarily back this up as the source of the hostility, but there was a distinct split in 60s sensiblity between listener-clubbers who liked to go to clubs to dance to records (ideally by black american groups or singers) and listener-clubbers who liked to go to clubs to watch bands (which were on the whole white and local)

up to a certain point* there was a line of strong mod disdain for the very *idea* of live music as opposed to music on record (the who called themselves mods but most real mods disowned them) so this may be less a "northern soul sucks" line per se than a "live music rocks dude" line (which is after all what you'd expect a working musician to feel)

mark s, Friday, 2 June 2017 10:09 (three weeks ago) Permalink

*apostrophe to extra suggestion when this certain point came, and why = mid-late 70s, by which time there were a lot more live shows featuring black music of all kinds, and also by which time the who -- via quadrophenia -- had reverse-engineered the meaning of the word mod, which sensibility began migrating away to descendent subcultures

mark s, Friday, 2 June 2017 10:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Geezer goes on to say they were listening to Hendrix and Cream and wanted to do music like that - sounds like Ozzy wasn't though!

Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Friday, 2 June 2017 10:16 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Haven't any recollection of seeing the one you're talking about at all! Must try and dig it out.

Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Friday, 2 June 2017 10:21 (three weeks ago) Permalink

haven't seen the clip and so can't necessarily back this up as the source of the hostility, but there was a distinct split in 60s sensiblity between listener-clubbers who liked to go to clubs to dance to records (ideally by black american groups or singers) and listener-clubbers who liked to go to clubs to watch bands (which were on the whole white and local)

This sounds right too. I wonder if it's an age thing too, Sabbath were a pretty young band, Geezer was born in 1949, seems like they hadn't done that thing of playing soul and r&b covers like so many 60s British musicians had.

Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Friday, 2 June 2017 10:29 (three weeks ago) Permalink

gotta check these guys out http://www.alternativenation.net/why-royal-blood-could-be-the-next-nirvana/

Frozen CD, Sunday, 11 June 2017 23:40 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Alternative Nation is such a weird site

Sutcliffe Juugin' (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 12 June 2017 02:23 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Thankfully, for every teenage girl singing Cyndi Lauper into a hairbrush, was her younger brother, listening to Misfits and Black Sabbath records.

Kurt would be so happy to know his fans are fighting to reclaim music from girls.

Who's puttin' sponge in the zings I once zung (stevie), Monday, 12 June 2017 18:53 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Yes, how dare those young women sing along with music? Everyone knows music is only truly appreciated by boys.

bleethal weapon (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 12 June 2017 19:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

hang on, didn't we do the exact opposite of this one last week?

Number None, Monday, 12 June 2017 19:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

ok, someone (*ahem*) shared that there is a notably bad Lorde review and I think I found it, but can anyone corroborate

mh, Monday, 19 June 2017 22:00 (one week ago) Permalink

i already regret posting about it

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Monday, 19 June 2017 22:14 (one week ago) Permalink

This is all starting to feel like the thing in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction, except it's a pile of dung.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 19 June 2017 22:21 (one week ago) Permalink

i wasn't a fan of the one that wondered if she was being held back by being a pop artist...

nomar, Monday, 19 June 2017 22:29 (one week ago) Permalink

generally there have been a lot of lorde thinkpieces

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Monday, 19 June 2017 22:33 (one week ago) Permalink

I don't know if it's the one Brad was thinking of, but the one on Uproxx is by someone who should be kept away from keyboards for at least a decade.

grawlix (unperson), Monday, 19 June 2017 22:34 (one week ago) Permalink

I don't know, as a general rule I would rather prevent old dudes from writing about Lorde than young women

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Monday, 19 June 2017 22:39 (one week ago) Permalink

I hear there is a really great Father John Misty interview out there!

mh, Monday, 19 June 2017 22:40 (one week ago) Permalink

Katherine otm though

mh, Monday, 19 June 2017 22:40 (one week ago) Permalink

some young women need editors who aren't themselves

maura, Monday, 19 June 2017 23:11 (one week ago) Permalink

tbh everyone needs editors who aren't themselves

maura, Monday, 19 June 2017 23:12 (one week ago) Permalink

I don't know, as a general rule I would rather prevent old dudes from writing about Lorde than young women

https://68.media.tumblr.com/0ae4a458b02b1705c96dd846493e2aad/tumblr_inline_n3ghj9J3u91qcklud.gif

grawlix (unperson), Monday, 19 June 2017 23:22 (one week ago) Permalink

that whole movie is a cringefest

― leprechaundriac (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, May 31, 2017 5:15 PM (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Just makes me feel grateful that the planned Robert Zemeckis Yellow Submarine remake got scrapped. Small mercies.

Pheeel, Monday, 19 June 2017 23:33 (one week ago) Permalink

I don't know, as a general rule I would rather prevent old dudes from writing about Lorde than young women

― sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Monday, 19 June 2017 22:39 (yesterday) Permalink

ok the piece still sucks tho

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 20 June 2017 13:42 (one week ago) Permalink

Piece on Lorde that no one will link to and ILM can't reach a consensus on where it was published is definitely the worst piece of music writing ever.

Position Position, Tuesday, 20 June 2017 15:59 (one week ago) Permalink

otoh if this guy hates it, there's probably some merit

mh, Tuesday, 20 June 2017 16:01 (one week ago) Permalink

o lorde tupac mansplain to them

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 20 June 2017 17:07 (one week ago) Permalink

i'm issuing subpoenas to everyone on this thread, give up your sources on the Lorde review!!!!!!!

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 20 June 2017 17:32 (one week ago) Permalink

tick tick tick

President Keyes, Tuesday, 20 June 2017 17:33 (one week ago) Permalink

ilx melodrama

Evan, Tuesday, 20 June 2017 17:42 (one week ago) Permalink

ilx d-d-d-d-dynamite

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 June 2017 17:51 (one week ago) Permalink


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