OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (ten years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (ten years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (ten years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (ten years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (ten years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (ten years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (ten years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (ten years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (ten years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (ten years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (ten years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (ten years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (ten years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

How do I express my hatred of this shit without going on some "I'm not like the other gays" tangent: https://www.billboard.com/articles/events/year-in-music-2017/8070980/best-gay-anthems-2017-songs-halsey-rupaul

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Tuesday, 19 December 2017 20:00 (one month ago) Permalink

Charli knows what The Gays™ want

flamenco drop (BradNelson), Tuesday, 19 December 2017 20:06 (one month ago) Permalink

Re: that Riton song - how does a house song w/ a choir and MNEK manage to sound rote, guess I answered my own question

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Tuesday, 19 December 2017 20:09 (one month ago) Permalink

https://www.xlr8r.com/reviews/2017/12/nabihah-iqbal-weighing-of-the-heart/

The promo information said one of the important elements of retiring the Throwing Shade name in favor of her birth name is to promote her Asian heritage. Good. But what’s interesting about her mixed ethnic heritage and education and experience is that the music to my ears sounds very "white." The subject matter colorless. I don’t sense the Asian-British experience we’re usually given. In an interview with i-D when asked to name a memorable song from her childhood, she said "something by Oasis." Now what’s beautiful about that is it’s unexpected and rarer than a white guy referencing a minority’s culture.

Excellent foot in mouth situation courtesy of Anton Lang reviewing my album for @XLR8R. The reason why I've chosen to use my birth name is to breakdown racial prejudices such as this. Sorry if you think I shouldn't be able to make guitar music because I'm not white. pic.twitter.com/TS7Fve1VSj

— Nabihah Iqbal (@nabihahiqbal) December 21, 2017

maura, Friday, 22 December 2017 14:33 (four weeks ago) Permalink

But he's not saying she shouldn't be able to make guitar music because she's not white - he's saying he had higher expectations of her (based on an awareness of her prior work) than bland indie. If that's prejudice, OK then.

grawlix (unperson), Friday, 22 December 2017 14:39 (four weeks ago) Permalink

it absolutely is. if he'd listened to it blindfolded would he have said the same thing? come on. also, his pulling out of a chance to chat with her about this on the radio speaks volumes.

maura, Friday, 22 December 2017 14:42 (four weeks ago) Permalink

wow that is like a vortex of awful ideas and awful writing

flamenco drop (BradNelson), Friday, 22 December 2017 14:55 (four weeks ago) Permalink

not gonna get capt-save-a-weingarten here, but I mean I do think there IS a viable defense for music snobbery, especially when sites are out here running in-defense-of-normies articles like this

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/people-in-their-thirties-cant-stop-hoarding-cds?utm_term=.fkNJmLD8d#.rdearp9wG

http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/06/i-love-my-five-dollar-headphones-and-i-bet-you-will-too.html

or this intro from the Vinyl Me, Please guide, which, lmao, fucking NO

https://www.instagram.com/p/BaUmBxCjVxo/

...

However, this article is ... not it.

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:30 (two weeks ago) Permalink

not actually "laughing my fucking ass" off at that, but the NO stands

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:31 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Also, I still love you, Max, even if I disagree with your article

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:32 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Not sure Bob Dylan is a "thing no one else followed", even back then

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:33 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it's the snobbery bit that's ridiculous and boring and doesn't not need expressing in public

not being personally interested in swathes of popular culture is absolutely legit on a personal level, even believing that those swathes are in some definable or objective sense lesser is umremarkable as a personal feeling, sometimes you might make an interesting case in a conversation. getting into it as a public thinkpiece invariably puts you on the side of the idiots tho.

you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:38 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i guess there's a subtle distinction between "snobbery" and "one-upmanship" and that article is really about the latter and the latter is for jerks

you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:40 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I mean also where is he actually encountering this?

No, it's the neo-snobs that have me riled up, those ADHD completists who stream all of the cool stuff and have the gall to flaunt the secret knowledge that was so hard won for us.

Did he get triggered by a /mu/ post or something

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:43 (two weeks ago) Permalink

signs your article is bad: the “bad guys” in your head have a dsm5 diagnosis

k3vin k., Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:44 (two weeks ago) Permalink

he really pushed the boat out with “snoboisie”
u_u

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

"Do you know how hard it was to track down a Big Star record in 1982?! All three of the band's albums were long out of print,"

the 1978 PVC pressing of the 3rd album wouldn't have been hard to find in 1982. and they put it out again in 1985 and that pressing was everywhere. 1982 not a bad year to be a fan of almost anything from the 60s and 70s. everything was everywhere.

scott seward, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:34 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i was trying to describe the 90s CD boom to my kid the other day. he didn't know about the gold rush era. people going to Tower and spending a grand on jazz and soul and psych reissues like it was nothing. all of a sudden being able to buy 20 nurse with wound albums in one shot. people went nuts.

scott seward, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:42 (two weeks ago) Permalink

lol, i do remember that time period; watching people go to the counter with ridiculous stacks of cds

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:48 (two weeks ago) Permalink

in 1982, real snobs just did mail order.

scott seward, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:48 (two weeks ago) Permalink

The vinyl me please guy rhapsodizes about wanting people to spend time with albums that matter meanwhile my buddy gifted me his (arrived in the mail like this) warped Vinyl Me Please copy of Dan deacon's Spiderman of the Rings.

omar little, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 19:10 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I promised I'd be more charitable in 2018 but I am trying to wrap my mind around fighting The Evil Algorithms by going to major-label artist playlists. (the whole "Spotify can tell me that people who listen to Lorde also listen to other pop songs by young women, but it can’t pick out just the right one the way Lorde herself can" thing is showing up in more and more criticism.)

https://www.theverge.com/2018/1/2/16840940/spotify-algorithm-music-discovery-mix-cds-resolution

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Thursday, 4 January 2018 19:29 (two weeks ago) Permalink

tech sites' music coverage is terrible

maura, Thursday, 4 January 2018 19:30 (two weeks ago) Permalink

true but you'd expect them to be better than music sites at not talking about The Algorithms the way you'd talk about Bigfoot

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Thursday, 4 January 2018 19:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

(this is probably one of my biggest pet peeves right now because

a) the word "algorithm" has an actual meaning. like, every time you've done a multiplication problem, you used an algorithm
b) algorithms don't appear from the autonomous mind of skynet or whatever, they are made by people, but it's much easier to blame it all on The Algorithms than to think about why people might make the coding decisions they make and what influences them
c) the existence of an algorithm does not make something automatically bad)

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Thursday, 4 January 2018 19:41 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Feel like that article could be a short little blurb suggesting people pay attention to how the music presented to them got to be presented to them and put time in to find ways of getting music presented to you in ways that work best for you.

Feel like it's not really doing that but gesturing towards it, but missing looking at how the songs got presented to Lorde in the first place (possibly algorhythmically) and to (take things a cynical step further) assuming that she just chose those cuz she liked them and not for label promotional reasons, etc...

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Thursday, 4 January 2018 19:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it's almost certainly not Lorde (or anyone else), though, it's a 23-year-old in the office coordinating with other 23-year-olds when Justin Bieber can spontaneously tweet about this great new song he discovered

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Thursday, 4 January 2018 19:55 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it's those damn 23 year olds!

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 4 January 2018 20:31 (two weeks ago) Permalink

to be fair sometimes they're as old as 29

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Thursday, 4 January 2018 20:31 (two weeks ago) Permalink

don't trust anyone under 30

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 4 January 2018 20:33 (two weeks ago) Permalink

there's another "ooh spooky algorithms" piece by Rhett Miller in the outline (admittedly it touches on other subjects)

Simon H., Thursday, 4 January 2018 20:37 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Didn't see it up there, does it have a bafflingly incongruous title or something?

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Friday, 5 January 2018 15:18 (two weeks ago) Permalink

can't link rn but it's actually in The Baffler, sorry

Simon H., Friday, 5 January 2018 15:21 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i think it’s in the baffler

maura, Friday, 5 January 2018 15:21 (two weeks ago) Permalink

can't link rn but it's actually in The Baffler, sorry

― Simon H., Friday, January 5, 2018 8:21 AM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

goddamn you for making me try to find a story on the outline

flamenco drop (BradNelson), Friday, 5 January 2018 15:23 (two weeks ago) Permalink

lmao sorry

Simon H., Friday, 5 January 2018 15:24 (two weeks ago) Permalink

anyway it's not really bad enough for this thread I don't think but man if I were a white rock musician in my 40s I'd think long and hard before writing dismissively about "SoundCloud rappers"

Simon H., Friday, 5 January 2018 15:26 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I like a lot about The Outline, but they do make it hard to find what you want.

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Friday, 5 January 2018 15:27 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the outline had a decent piece on this a few months back, albeit not about music: https://theoutline.com/post/2362/the-algorithm-is-innocent

algorithm is a dancer (katherine), Friday, 5 January 2018 15:30 (two weeks ago) Permalink

anyway it's not really bad enough for this thread I don't think but man if I were a white rock musician in my 40s I'd think long and hard before writing dismissively about "SoundCloud rappers"

No one in their 40s should be thinking about SoundCloud rappers at all. Accept that not everything is for you, and that that's a good thing, and move on.

grawlix (unperson), Friday, 5 January 2018 16:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wait up there hoss - some of that soundcloud stuff you're dismissing is just fine for the over 40 crowd, maybe not for you tho'

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:55 (two weeks ago) Permalink

As a 40 year old, I'm cool with soundcloud rappers. I also recognize that what I might have to say about them isn't notable or relevant to them (or anyone much, really)

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Friday, 5 January 2018 17:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

A thread where white people old enough to remember the Challenger Explosion debate whether "I took a white bitch to starbucks/That lil' bitch got her throat fucked" is for them

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:02 (two weeks ago) Permalink

That's not really what's happening but whatever gramps

queens of the stonage (ultros ultros-ghali), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Ageism goes both ways.

pomenitul, Friday, 5 January 2018 18:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink

whiney if u aint' down with the kids how can u be down with the clown?

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:22 (two weeks ago) Permalink

also NB: your immediate access to xxx bars is very suspect, i daresay you may be a greyhair turncoat

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 5 January 2018 18:23 (two weeks ago) Permalink

does anyone under the age of 40 use that Buscemi meme anymore, is my question

mh, Friday, 5 January 2018 22:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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