OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (eleven years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (eleven years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (eleven years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (eleven years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (eleven years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (eleven years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (eleven years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

u_u

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 15:09 (two months ago) Permalink

i was gonna excelsior that pure omar parody ('glassine gasps of Pink Floyd') until i noticed it was real

mookieproof, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 16:52 (two months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

thanks to the how to dress well dude for endorsing this piece of shit https://medium.com/@matdryhurst/protocols-duty-despair-and-decentralisation-transcript-69acac62c8ea

please do say more about this "club music"

theorizing your yells (katherine), Friday, 8 March 2019 20:42 (one month ago) Permalink

My assumption is also that whichever streaming platform wins (as all roads lead to monopoly in this current paradigm)

Why would this be the case?

yuh yuh (morrisp), Friday, 8 March 2019 21:01 (one month ago) Permalink

Oh I think we have a winner here.

a few years ago, a boy sent this to me to demonstrate his galaxy brain and i think about it constantly pic.twitter.com/VsPbCBY6F8

— isobel mohyeddin (@isobelmohyeddin) March 7, 2019

keep in mind that this was the intro paragraph to a FULL LENGTH PAPER

— isobel mohyeddin (@isobelmohyeddin) March 7, 2019

A full ten page paper, she says elsewhere.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 8 March 2019 22:48 (one month ago) Permalink

Often, I have found,

Let's have sensible centrist armageddon (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 8 March 2019 22:49 (one month ago) Permalink

Are we sure this wasn't an ILXor

Ned Raggett, Friday, 8 March 2019 22:50 (one month ago) Permalink

Damn, I wanna read that whole paper...!

yuh yuh (morrisp), Friday, 8 March 2019 22:52 (one month ago) Permalink

i think he raises some salient points

Mike Skeavee (Noodle Vague), Friday, 8 March 2019 23:06 (one month ago) Permalink

not notably distinct from plenty of OPINIONS 4 U comments on this very site a scant decade ago

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 8 March 2019 23:45 (one month ago) Permalink

I had to put this somewhere

https://tmz.com/2019/03/10/nicki-minaj-concert-canceled-france-fans-angry-chant-cardi-b/

“France loves starting wars, and might have one with Nicki Minaj now after some angry fans turned on her in the most savage way possible.

...

“As for the Cardi chanters -- we're guessing Nicki ain't sweatin' them too much.

“It's not like the French do well in wars.”

maura, Sunday, 10 March 2019 18:02 (one month ago) Permalink

trenchant zing

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 10 March 2019 18:12 (one month ago) Permalink

what else are you going to do with your history degree

theorizing your yells (katherine), Sunday, 10 March 2019 20:52 (one month ago) Permalink

My cousin used to stay, "The French are the only people who haven't marched under their own Arc de Triomphe nyuk nyuk nyuk"

Let's have sensible centrist armageddon (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 10 March 2019 20:58 (one month ago) Permalink

this is from bandcamp, and is as much blurb as "review", but i just am not sure this attempt to cast the new weregoat album as some kind of sex-positive feminist statement is wholly successful:

Its cover art might depict three bound, naked women in risqué poses, awaiting their grisly demise at the cloven claws of a hideous goat beast, but make no mistake: The latest effort from Portland blackened-thrash crew Weregoat is actually a celebration of sex positivity, with a sinister twist. Which is to say, these eight songs are mostly devoted to capital-F fucking — blasphemed unions between succubi and killer women with “nuclear cunts” (now that’s what I call pussy power!), gore-stained orgies and nocturnal hunts. The incendiary, Bathory-esque riff onslaughts and howled, lycanthropic vocals on standouts like “Invoke the Black Oblivion” and “By the Light of the Moon” similarly bely their staunch devotion to the id, wasting no time to get to the down and dirty. Light the candelabras, bust out the flogs, pour you and your sweetie two tall glasses of blood, and get cozy.

the scientology of mountains (rushomancy), Saturday, 16 March 2019 14:51 (one month ago) Permalink

I like that they rhymed "nuclear cunts" with "nocturnal hunts"

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 16 March 2019 15:01 (one month ago) Permalink

Amused by this set-up/tear-down the strawman take:

We’re now living through a moment when it seems as if we might one day, you know, be pulling Led Zeppelin tracks from streaming sites because of the scandalous nature of the group’s offstage bacchanals. Yet I somehow doubt it.

https://variety.com/2019/film/reviews/show-me-the-picture-the-story-of-jim-marshall-review-sxsw-1203164369/

What's that Phish song that goes "Bag it, Tag it"? (morrisp), Saturday, 16 March 2019 20:03 (one month ago) Permalink

Fugazi was effectively a startup from which valuable lessons in governance, business and sustainability might be inferred about the way an O’Rourke administration will approach the American economy.

Fugazi capitalism would be inclusive, consumer-friendly and ethical.

https://www.breakingviews.com/columns/cox-betonomics-would-have-certain-punk-rock-edge

mookieproof, Thursday, 28 March 2019 15:53 (three weeks ago) Permalink

oh sweet jesus no

recreational colonoscopies 4 u (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:03 (three weeks ago) Permalink

And anyone left on the right worrying about spending might like a MacKaye-like, bare-bones approach to big government, too.

jmm, Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:04 (three weeks ago) Permalink

It's DIY government!

jmm, Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:05 (three weeks ago) Permalink

the right would prefer an SSTocracy

We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

a blast first, ask questions later government

recreational colonoscopies 4 u (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:28 (three weeks ago) Permalink

ask me about my Gangrene New Deal

We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:40 (three weeks ago) Permalink

SLASH government spending!

fact checking cuz, Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:57 (three weeks ago) Permalink

form a NEW ALLIANCE!

fact checking cuz, Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:58 (three weeks ago) Permalink

godspeed to everyone who actually read that; just looking at the URL is giving me hives

GDPR vs GAPDY (DJP), Thursday, 28 March 2019 16:59 (three weeks ago) Permalink

it's even worse than you'd expect!

recreational colonoscopies 4 u (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 March 2019 17:00 (three weeks ago) Permalink

AMREPresentative democracy in action!

Zeuhl Idol (Matt #2), Thursday, 28 March 2019 17:20 (three weeks ago) Permalink

When I saw Beto speak it was like 50 Skidillion Watts of energy shot up leg.

We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Thursday, 28 March 2019 17:24 (three weeks ago) Permalink

My

We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Thursday, 28 March 2019 17:24 (three weeks ago) Permalink

so you’re saying he made your calves cramp?

recreational colonoscopies 4 u (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 March 2019 19:25 (three weeks ago) Permalink

can't believe the editor unearthed one of beto's since-now-undiscovered textfiles before the textfiles guy did

like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Thursday, 28 March 2019 21:16 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Beto won't win the election but everyone who sees him speak will run for President in the future.

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, 28 March 2019 22:24 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Fugazi capitalism would be inclusive, consumer-friendly and ethical.

http://i63.tinypic.com/bim98z.jpg

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 28 March 2019 23:32 (three weeks ago) Permalink

My neighborhood 7-11 is upstairs from Dischord btw

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 29 March 2019 16:33 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Ftr I could find no entry for Fugazi in the RIAA's gold and platinum database.

All along there is the sound of feedback (Sund4r), Friday, 29 March 2019 16:44 (three weeks ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

In that respect, Tame Impala did more than enough to fill that void by drenching the crowd with their LSD-drenched visuals and even a little more crowd work than usual. (During one of their final songs, Parker crept onto the festival’s projectors with five eyeballs.)

sounds trippy

Frozen CD, Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:37 (one week ago) Permalink

read that three times, still can't parse

where have all the editors gone?

Paul Ponzi, Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:42 (one week ago) Permalink

so the projector had ... or wait, Parker had.... hang on now

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 14 April 2019 23:00 (one week ago) Permalink

Team Drench

get your hand outta my pocket universe (morrisp), Sunday, 14 April 2019 23:08 (one week ago) Permalink

I drenched my body with flavor drenched gatorade because I was working my body more than usual.

Evan, Monday, 15 April 2019 00:45 (six days ago) Permalink

got me a movie oh ho ho ho
crept on five eyeballs oh ho ho ho

also whut

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 15 April 2019 03:02 (six days ago) Permalink

editors the profession are pretty much like editors the band, they're still around but nobody gives a shit about them

Jaki Liebowitz (rushomancy), Monday, 15 April 2019 12:55 (six days ago) Permalink

The editor is dead, long live the involuntary poet!

pomenitul, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:03 (six days ago) Permalink

editors the profession are pretty much like editors the band, they're still around but nobody gives a shit about them

― Jaki Liebowitz (rushomancy), Monday, April 15, 2019 1:55 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hm

mark s, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:05 (six days ago) Permalink

"crowd work"

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:07 (six days ago) Permalink

If this exercise in space-filling were printed in a college newspaper, I wouldn’t pick on it, but it’s in the L.A. Times:

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/la-et-ms-coachella-1975-rock-dead-20190420-story.html

get your hand outta my pocket universe (morrisp), Sunday, 21 April 2019 04:10 (seven hours ago) Permalink


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