OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (9 years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (9 years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (9 years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (9 years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (9 years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (9 years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (9 years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (9 years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (9 years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (9 years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (9 years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (9 years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (9 years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (9 years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (9 years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (9 years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (9 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (9 years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (9 years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (9 years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (9 years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (9 years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (9 years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (9 years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (9 years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (9 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (9 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (9 years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (9 years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (9 years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (9 years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (9 years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (9 years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (9 years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (9 years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (9 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (9 years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (9 years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (9 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (9 years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (9 years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (9 years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (9 years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (9 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (9 years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (9 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (9 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (9 years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (9 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (9 years ago) Permalink

I, also, wondered what that Frasier reference was about.

kinder, Monday, 4 July 2016 20:34 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Twenty years on, the No 1 album is by Radiohead (from the 90s), our funniest TV show is Frasier (from the 90s), my favorite jeans are starting to get real worn these days (from the 90s), i subsist entirely on a diet from my storehouse of hungry man tv dinners (from the 90s), and my busted hip from a golfing mishap (from the 90s) is forever back back back

R.I.P. Haram-bae, the good posts goy (s.clover), Monday, 4 July 2016 20:45 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I'm excited for the ABFAB movie!!

maura, Monday, 4 July 2016 22:07 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Me too tho Im waiting for the dvd...

Cosmic Slop, Monday, 4 July 2016 23:25 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

God that Frasier reference.

♫ Corbyn's on fire / PLP is terrified ♫ (jim in glasgow), Monday, 4 July 2016 23:53 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

God that YG review

alpine static, Tuesday, 5 July 2016 07:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Also stating that the Spice Girls were the first example of a 'band as brand', even after comparing them directly to Take That.

Pretty much every 'it were better in them days' thinkpiece reads like this:

1. I know what you're thinking, but this isn't your typical 'it were better in them days' thinkpiece.
2. Here are a bunch of highly-subjective and carefully-selected things that I think were better in them days
3. Here are precisely zero examples of things that were worse in them days
4. Here is just one tenuous example of a thing that sucks about today.
5. Conclusion: 'it were better in them days'.

TARANTINO! (dog latin), Tuesday, 5 July 2016 14:28 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Today we'll be serving a stark antiporous sonic aesthetic, braised in hyperlocalized zones, unfurled with viscous eraism. That's $34.

thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Thursday, 7 July 2016 17:18 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

So that's what happened to Fred Mills, whom I remember from his '80s zine days. I want to challenge him to write an article without either a) using the first person or b) referring back to interviews he's done or rockstars he's met.

OK, he can do b) once an article, since I don't believe he's capable of not doing it.

mike a, Thursday, 7 July 2016 18:13 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Perhaps Frasier reruns are popular in England right now? Similar things have happened.

mike a, Thursday, 7 July 2016 18:13 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Frasier is probably the most popular TV show on weird Twitter

queen elseq of ærendelle (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 7 July 2016 18:16 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

spongebob

thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Thursday, 7 July 2016 18:44 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Seinfeld is back! Ads for Seinfeld on Hulu with Seinfeld fans make me hate that show.

scott seward, Thursday, 7 July 2016 20:12 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

reading or thinking or god forbid watching seinfeld makes me hate that show

thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Thursday, 7 July 2016 21:03 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

a little tangential- as terrible as that la weekly piece was, i'm heartened by the response. it's helped me to realize why i find the christine chubbuck fetishists so disturbing. it's not because she died on tv. we've seen lots of people die on tv since then. it's because after she died the wapo published that sally quinn piece that jizzed on her corpse. that's where today's chubbuck-fetishist underground really comes from.

the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Sunday, 10 July 2016 13:03 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i had to google who that was. never heard of her! there was an LA Weekly story about her?

scott seward, Sunday, 10 July 2016 13:53 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i had to google who that was. never heard of her! there was an LA Weekly story about her?

― scott seward

nah, la weekly wasn't even founded until 1978. it's just that some of the backlash against art tavana's piece has focused on contextualizing his the piece in the larger history of journalism, and quinn's 1974 story on chubbuck's suicide is the most horrifying example of that style of writing i've read.

the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Sunday, 10 July 2016 15:51 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i just read the Quinn thing. never heard of any of it.

scott seward, Sunday, 10 July 2016 16:00 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

they're actually making i think two films about her. or a film and a play. not too sure. people magazine ran a story about her this february! back when i was young the only people who knew about chubbuck were people who read about her in "answer me!", you know, the standard "faces of death" enthusiasts, but the cult following keeps chugging along.

the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Sunday, 10 July 2016 16:13 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

see now i used to read answer me cover to cover and i don't remember the story. sadly, i'm guessing she's not more famous because there is no video.

and yeah two movies. that definitely ups the ante. the Quinn thing is definitely weirdly dated. mentioning that she was a virgin ten times for instance.

scott seward, Sunday, 10 July 2016 16:18 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

so weird that there is a total of like two pictures of her on the internet and they are both stills from an interview she gave on t.v.

scott seward, Sunday, 10 July 2016 16:19 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

(they got a much softer-looking person to play her in the movie, of course.)

scott seward, Sunday, 10 July 2016 16:20 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i would argue that a lot of the reason she's famous is _because_ there's no video. i apologize here because this is getting super massively off thread topic, but when i was a kid people used to wax rhapsodic about this lost doctor who episode called "tomb of the cybermen", which was supposedly the greatest thing ever. and then they found a copy in hong kong, and it was badly made, racist crap.

if the actual video existed (which it assuredly does not), i don't think people would be as fascinated with her as they are, because no videotape could possibly match the rhapsodically pornographic prose quinn uses to describe chubbuck.

as for the lack of documentation of her life, it's less surprising than people think it is. people hear "news anchor" and they envision, like, katie couric blowing her head off on the nightly news. but she was nowhere near that important. the world's collective memory of her is based on mythology, a mythology created in a washington post article which needs to be understood as grossly inappropriate and offensive.

the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Sunday, 10 July 2016 16:37 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I first found out about chubbock when I was browsing wikipedia and noticed a potentially interesting avenue among several

O, Barack: flaws (wins), Sunday, 10 July 2016 16:43 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i don't find the sally quinn article "grossly inappropriate and offensive"

oculus lump (contenderizer), Sunday, 10 July 2016 21:52 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

From five years ago: Man gets furious at Foster The People because he didn't listen to lyrics before playing song to his wife

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-10-03/entertainment/ct-ent-1004-foster-lyrics-20111004_1_school-shooting-pop-music-song

Shakey δσς (sic), Sunday, 10 July 2016 23:03 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

that was your takeaway from that article

Immediate Follower (NA), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 20:28 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

kudos

Immediate Follower (NA), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 20:28 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

especially since it doesn't actually say that

lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 20:29 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I wonder if Noisey's multi-billion dollar parent company followed a PWYC policy when they bought up the space that was functioning DIY venue Death by Audio

queen elseq of ærendelle (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 13 July 2016 00:35 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Also interesting how the idea of paying venue staff union wages never comes up.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 13 July 2016 00:39 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

this isn't actually any worse than usual, but man, the adjective abuse in this one.

http://www.avclub.com/review/new-lineup-cleans-heliotropes-act-forgettable-resu-239276

the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Friday, 15 July 2016 10:58 (1 week ago) Permalink

Waow, for a short review, it really gives the reader a lot of opportunities to nod off/check out.

hardcore dilettante, Saturday, 16 July 2016 04:23 (1 week ago) Permalink

i kind of want to give it some slack because obviously nobody involved cared at all. mostly i'm just amazed that there's still space in music reviewing for such obviously dgaf writing.

the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Saturday, 16 July 2016 14:27 (1 week ago) Permalink

um there are new examples posted in this thread like every day

brimstead, Saturday, 16 July 2016 23:53 (1 week ago) Permalink

idk i think most of the stuff in this thread is bad precisely because the people writing it _care deeply_ about the nauseating bullshit they're inflicting on the world. there's a place for that kind of writing, and it's crossover fanfiction.

the event dynamics of power asynchrony (rushomancy), Sunday, 17 July 2016 01:36 (1 week ago) Permalink

In response to an article about Speedy Ortiz's Forecastle performance: "please, writers & editors, can we do better out of the gate when we write about humans?"
https://www.facebook.com/speedyortiz/posts/1225565654123066

Frozen CD, Tuesday, 19 July 2016 22:58 (1 week ago) Permalink

Just read that linked to from elsewhere - I'm assuming that you're saying "girls can rock too" articles are the worst journalism, rather than Sadie's piece? Because I think it's spot on.

emil.y, Tuesday, 19 July 2016 23:03 (1 week ago) Permalink

i assume the shot is at the dopey cos piece, sadie otm

Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony said (contenderizer), Wednesday, 20 July 2016 02:12 (1 week ago) Permalink

> Just read that linked to from elsewhere - I'm assuming that you're saying "girls can rock too" articles are the worst journalism, rather than Sadie's piece? Because I think it's spot on.

Yes -- the "girls can rock too" piece was edited so wanted to point to the original version Sadie screengrabbed.

Frozen CD, Wednesday, 20 July 2016 03:29 (1 week ago) Permalink

Heard a radio bit this morning about the band the Struts, and here's sort of the online version: http://www.npr.org/2016/07/27/487480437/dressed-to-dazzle-the-struts-want-to-make-rock-fun-again

I thought it was terrible, partly for lines like "The Struts have become a staple on rock radio, and they're selling out concerts," but mostly for constantly invoking Queen and then describing a band that I imagined was not unlike the Darkness and then constantly following up by playing clips of the group's music, which was unlistenable shit that sounded nothing like Bowie and Queen, let alone the Darkness

Here's essentially a similar variation on the same piece: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/features/the-struts-meet-englands-newest-glam-rock-heroes-20160311

Whatever hack is handling these losers deserves a raise.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 16:30 (Yesterday) Permalink

yeah that band is fucking garbage yuck

Pull your head on out your hippy haze (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 16:52 (Yesterday) Permalink

You know they're glam 'cause their single has handclaps on it.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 16:59 (Yesterday) Permalink

fwiw I am British and have never heard of this band

this line from the NPR piece jumped out as being especially clumsy

While American hip-hop swept England in the 1990s, Spiller, the son of a gospel musician, was getting hooked on glamorous '70s rock.

if this dude is 27 then depending on what year of the 1990s (any of which a case could be made for "American hip-hop sweeping England") they're referring to he was aged somewhere between one and 11

aromantic cuck (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:36 (Yesterday) Permalink

538 has really created this terrible brand of feature where a writer presents a ton of shallow "data points" in an overlong story about an incredibly banal topic...like basically dressing up some point that could be covered in 2 paragraphs with infographics etc

http://pitchfork.com/thepitch/1228-a-brief-history-of-famously-unstreamable-albums-that-ended-up-streaming-anyway/

Pull your head on out your hippy haze (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 20:44 (Yesterday) Permalink

Boy that URL just screams not to be clicked

Have you hugged your timeghoul today? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 21:38 (Yesterday) Permalink

but what if there's a kidney stone joke somewhere in there

map, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 21:41 (Yesterday) Permalink


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