OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (7 years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

shouldn't that be "etha"

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:19 (1 week ago) Permalink

Putting the OSHA into Ke$ha

before you die you see the rink (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:22 (1 week ago) Permalink

Sufjan Grafton types his articles with the fingers on both hands, putting the "les paul" into Pau1 L3ster

chikungunya manatee (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:44 (1 week ago) Permalink

how is posing nude with a georgia o'keefe flower 'rejecting explicit sexuality' btw, like has this guy just never seen a vagina

maura, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

he's putting the eureka in urethra

Evan, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

have to wonder how comfortable Kelela feels about being edited into sounding like she's intent on throwing shade at B and Riri

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

maybe that was her intent, maybe not, but she's hardly at risk of eclipsing either one of them any time soon

odd proggy geezer (Moodles), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:58 (1 week ago) Permalink

Throwing the shade in Sade.

cwkiii, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 16:59 (1 week ago) Permalink

"“There’s a generation out there who don’t have that many role models who aren’t using their bodies."

ARE BRAINS IN VATS SETTING BAD EXAMPLES FOR TODAY'S GIRLS

katherine, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 17:02 (1 week ago) Permalink

PL has always been very pleasant when we have communicated and I do think he has a genuine excitement about r&b, rap and pop music. Quite how he manages to maintain that excitement while disliking 99 per cent of what makes r&b, rap and pop functionally different from indie rock has always been a mystery though.

Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Wednesday, 23 July 2014 17:14 (1 week ago) Permalink

real life lol @ "brains in vats"

intheblanks, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 17:14 (1 week ago) Permalink

larf

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 23 July 2014 19:41 (1 week ago) Permalink

Behind the cramped counter made for two, but manned by four, was always Amanda who would immediately reach for a pile of records stashed below as soon as she saw me. What then took place was purely non-verbal with her pointing to the pile, which meant, “Some new stuff in this week – I saved the good ones for you”, and me nodding and pointing to the shelves which meant, “No problems babe – let me just have a gander first”.

Evan, Friday, 25 July 2014 13:06 (5 days ago) Permalink

I have no intention of ever buying a turntable again – been there done that and I know it’s over. I live a stone’s throw from an Indie record store in Geneva. I never go inside – I don’t even stop. Like every fighter I know when to hang up my gloves. The future has never been clearer.

Evan, Friday, 25 July 2014 13:07 (5 days ago) Permalink

“No problems babe – let me just have a gander first”

Barry Gordy (Neil S), Friday, 25 July 2014 13:11 (5 days ago) Permalink

...Amanda

relentlessly pecking at peace (President Keyes), Friday, 25 July 2014 13:13 (5 days ago) Permalink

It reads like he's trying to narrate some kind of music journalism noir. Like there are supposed to be big dramatic drags of a cigarette between sentences.

Evan, Friday, 25 July 2014 13:16 (5 days ago) Permalink

lol at capitalization of "Indie" for no reason

Neil Patrick Haggerty (get bent), Friday, 25 July 2014 18:45 (5 days ago) Permalink

Who calls casual acquaintances/store clerks "babe," even telepathically?

Treeship, Friday, 25 July 2014 18:47 (5 days ago) Permalink

Dick Tracy

chikungunya manatee (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 25 July 2014 18:52 (5 days ago) Permalink

Who calls casual acquaintances/store clerks "babe," even telepathically?

the chronically undersexed

a biscuit/donut hybrid called “bisnuts” (stevie), Friday, 25 July 2014 18:54 (5 days ago) Permalink

every character Jason Sudeikis has ever played

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Friday, 25 July 2014 18:56 (5 days ago) Permalink

infantilizers

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Friday, 25 July 2014 19:14 (5 days ago) Permalink

When I finally did make it to the counter I was a regular which Amanda would tell anyone who happened to be there: “Sorry mate, my customer’s here and I need to take care of him right now – maybe Jimmy can help you out when he’s done”. Then we would begin a familiar interaction with her opening each album one by one and playing them track-by-track. The store was mine. In between the conversation went something like: ”I saw your little girl and your missus yesterday going into Sainsbury’s – she’s growing ever so nicely – she’s going to be a real cracker she will”. She knew my family and I knew about hers: her mom, nana, brother and useless dad who had buggered off many years ago for a woman half his age. There was also the boyfriend; Mick the builder, who preferred to go on the piss every night with the lads than spend time with her.

No man in Amanda's life ever did right by her, except for me, her customer.

intheblanks, Friday, 25 July 2014 19:43 (5 days ago) Permalink

well now Waylon Jennings "Amanda" is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day

Οὖτις, Friday, 25 July 2014 19:46 (5 days ago) Permalink

I can only imagine that, while I gandered, she was waiting with breathless anticipation to see what I had chosen.

intheblanks, Friday, 25 July 2014 19:47 (5 days ago) Permalink

Waylon Jennings's "Amanda" is a great song to have stuck in your head. Now pick up a guitar and sing it. Key of D.

banjoboy, Friday, 25 July 2014 20:23 (5 days ago) Permalink

Let me put some vinyl on
The we can get it on
Amanda

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Friday, 25 July 2014 20:25 (5 days ago) Permalink

When I finally did make it to the counter I was a regular which Amanda would tell anyone who happened to be there: “Sorry mate, my customer’s here and I need to take care of him right now – maybe Jimmy can help you out when he’s done”. Then we would begin a familiar interaction with her opening each album one by one and playing them track-by-track. The store was mine. In between the conversation went something like: ”I saw your little girl and your missus yesterday going into Sainsbury’s – she’s growing ever so nicely – she’s going to be a real cracker she will”. She knew my family and I knew about hers: her mom, nana, brother and useless dad who had buggered off many years ago for a woman half his age. There was also the boyfriend; Mick the builder, who preferred to go on the piss every night with the lads than spend time with her.

No man in Amanda's life ever did right by her, except for me, her customer.

― intheblanks, Friday, July 25, 2014 3:43 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Garth Merenghi reflects on his record shopping days.

Evan, Friday, 25 July 2014 20:47 (5 days ago) Permalink

Let me put some vinyl on
The we can get it on
Amanda

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Friday, July 25, 2014 1:25 PM

I was waiting for that.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 25 July 2014 20:49 (5 days ago) Permalink

Ugh so was I

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Friday, 25 July 2014 22:07 (5 days ago) Permalink

http://www.avclub.com/article/acdc-proved-theres-nothing-sexy-about-muddled-meta-207094

Like, it's totally fine to not like a band's biggest hit, but please write as if you have some inkling that it's the band's biggest hit

da croupier, Friday, 25 July 2014 22:10 (5 days ago) Permalink

The true failure of “You Shook Me All Night Long” is that it elicits the opposite emotions it’s attempting to champion. The song wants to be sexy and dangerous but, instead, it’s lifelessly limp. It may be a minor misstep on an otherwise classic album, but it’s one ruinous enough to bring any passionate proceedings to a grinding halt.

it's true! "you shook me all night long" is such a boner killer, no man you wanna get down with the ladeez you gotta put on side 1 of back in black, i mean "What Do You For Money Honey" into "Given The Dog A Bone" into "Let Me Put My Love Into You" GUARANTEED ACTION, JACKSON!

da croupier, Friday, 25 July 2014 22:19 (5 days ago) Permalink

is a grinding halt really totally terrible now

j., Friday, 25 July 2014 22:21 (5 days ago) Permalink

Ned Raggett, Friday, 25 July 2014 22:43 (5 days ago) Permalink

i love that song but every time i hear it i think of Beavis and Butthead saying "don't forget to scrub your weiner," which is not especially sexy

not pop, shambhala, where to buy weed (some dude), Friday, 25 July 2014 23:06 (5 days ago) Permalink

i honestly can't think of an article where a guy debating a tune's value as fuckmusic came off well. it's just hilarious to be take a "no, for once ac/dc has truly failed as fuckmusic" stance on YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG. Like, the strip clubs have spoken, dude.

I almost want to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just trolling rather truly that solipsistic

da croupier, Friday, 25 July 2014 23:15 (5 days ago) Permalink

rather than truly that solipsistic, rather

da croupier, Friday, 25 July 2014 23:15 (5 days ago) Permalink

though obv shame on me for even looking at an "Av club writers discuss songs they find lacking in the sexy dept" feature

da croupier, Friday, 25 July 2014 23:17 (5 days ago) Permalink

it's probably hard to find any music sexy when you're stuck with the inner monologue of an AV club writer

chikungunya manatee (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 25 July 2014 23:20 (5 days ago) Permalink

"this is gettin kinda se -** IRON MAN BLOOPERS **- xy oh man I lost it"

chikungunya manatee (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 25 July 2014 23:21 (5 days ago) Permalink

by comparing a woman to a car (a metaphor so weak it deserves to be put on cinder blocks)

So what does he think of "Highway Star" and "Bang a Gong (Get It On)" and "Little Red Corvette"? I feel like this is a pretty common metaphor, also one that a genre like hard rock is practically made for.

jmm, Friday, 25 July 2014 23:43 (5 days ago) Permalink

Let me put some vinyl on
The we can get it on
Amanda
video games

Neil Patrick Haggerty (get bent), Monday, 28 July 2014 00:46 (2 days ago) Permalink

Nothing says “bad bitch” like smoking an e-cigarette on stage – ask Lily Allen, who did just that in a sold out show at Festival Hall night. After a five-year long hiatus from the music industry, the ultimate anti-pop star is back with a bang.

http://www.tonedeaf.com.au/413201/heres-gone-lily-allens-splendour-sideshow.htm

boney tassel (sic), Monday, 28 July 2014 05:06 (2 days ago) Permalink

"After a recent onslaught of mixed reviews"

Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Monday, 28 July 2014 07:03 (2 days ago) Permalink

What the hell did I just read

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Monday, 28 July 2014 12:20 (2 days ago) Permalink

"Tonedeaf.com"

Treeship, Monday, 28 July 2014 13:32 (2 days ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.