OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (nine years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

WASTEMAN

soref, Monday, 20 March 2017 22:33 (one month ago) Permalink

is he a professional reviewer or is AllAboutJazz a website where anyone can set up an account and start posting stuff?

The latter.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Monday, 20 March 2017 22:39 (one month ago) Permalink

the game of trying to figure out who online is a reasonably well-adjusted person and who is just sitting alone in a room pounding on a keyboard alone coming up with hateful ideas of the world at large

brb the cat just walked in, need to see what he wants

mh 😏, Tuesday, 21 March 2017 00:53 (one month ago) Permalink

melvin gibbs' response to the araminta review:
https://www.facebook.com/melvin.gibbs/posts/10208792547123250

aaj editor michael ricci's apology (the review has been taken down):
https://www.allaboutjazz.com/jazz-in-the-age-of-the-politicization-of-everything-araminta-harriet-tubman-by-budd-kopman.php?pg=1

mark s, Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:09 (one month ago) Permalink

I didn't get to see the Kopman piece before it was taken down, sound like I'm not missing much though

Wimmels, Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:22 (one month ago) Permalink

sorry, i meant to link this too (gibbs preserves/reposts the original): https://www.facebook.com/melvin.gibbs/posts/10208795027665262?pnref=story

mark s, Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:25 (one month ago) Permalink

I didn't get to see the Kopman piece before it was taken down, sound like I'm not missing much though

yet another chance to test your rage aneurysm threshold / eyeroll capacity

Balðy Daudrs (contenderizer), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:39 (one month ago) Permalink

gibbs piece is excellent, if perhaps too kind

Balðy Daudrs (contenderizer), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:40 (one month ago) Permalink

I cannot begin to convey the degre of shock I experienced when, after all that buildup, the album review turned out to be positive.

Champiness, Wednesday, 22 March 2017 23:14 (one month ago) Permalink

idk I don't think you necessarily need derrida to take down that review

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 23:39 (one month ago) Permalink

Hasn't this clown noticed that Wilders lost?

Ongar Is An Energy (Tom D.), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 23:49 (one month ago) Permalink

bud kopman notices JAZZ, buddy

Balðy Daudrs (contenderizer), Thursday, 23 March 2017 01:01 (one month ago) Permalink

https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-03-28/once-we-listened-to-the-beatles-now-we-eat-beetles

Most of the top music from the 1990s, such as say Alanis Morissette, would sound current if released today, a sign of cultural stasis in what was once a highly socially charged and rapidly changing sector. In 1967, music from 20 or even 10 years earlier sounded quite different and indeed archaic.

As for where the change and innovation have come, it’s hard to think of any sphere of American life where the selection and quality have improved so much as food, whether in the supermarket or in restaurants. American cities become more interesting places to dine each year, and the attention paid to food on TV and online has been growing steadily since the 1990s.

j., Thursday, 30 March 2017 00:42 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I haven't listened to Jagged Little Pill in a long time, but I'll bet it couldn't sound any more of its time.

The Roger Waters Experience (Turrican), Thursday, 30 March 2017 01:16 (three weeks ago) Permalink

http://www.vulture.com/2017/04/john-mayer-could-learn-something-from-game-of-thrones.html

There are few easier targets in music writing. But somehow this guy still aimed the shotgun right at his own balls.

Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Violent J (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 6 April 2017 20:32 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Should have just talked about the band Marillion instead.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 April 2017 20:38 (two weeks ago) Permalink

"I’m not saying that John Mayer should be sealed away, tortured, blinded, and de-fingered because it would better his music."

go figure

budo jeru, Thursday, 6 April 2017 21:55 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Whether Jagged Little Pill sounds of it's time probably comes down to whether you heard it at the time. The reference points for music are so different now that perhaps it would sound new to someone who is younger and only aware of the current sounds in music. That's a huge assumption on my part though

Carlotta's Portrait (Ross), Thursday, 6 April 2017 21:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Over the weekend my girlfriend and I were on a quick road trip and for lack of anything else we listened to one of those Jack-FM style stations -- "Ironic" came up at one point and in the context of the mostly newish songs around it, it just sounded pretty out of place more than anything else. (Less so than the Thriller-era Michael Jackson songs they played, or anything random from the 80s.)

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 April 2017 22:02 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I was gonna say, it would probably sound old to someone who is younger, like '60s music did in the '80s.

...so music and chicken have become intertwined (Turrican), Thursday, 6 April 2017 22:06 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i think the basic point is that, when it comes to production, you can cherry pick more or less any element from the last forty years of music and use it as a filter, a signifier, whatever, and most likely people will hear it as contemporary. nobody in the '60s had that luxury and nobody wanted to "sound like" robert johnson or joe liggins or amos milburn in terms of production.

budo jeru, Thursday, 6 April 2017 22:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink

what that has to do with food, or eating beetles, tough, is beyond me

budo jeru, Thursday, 6 April 2017 22:20 (two weeks ago) Permalink

though*

budo jeru, Thursday, 6 April 2017 22:21 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I can't ever imagine the drum loops on 'All I Really Want' or 'You Learn' sounding contemporary to anyone in 2017.

...so music and chicken have become intertwined (Turrican), Thursday, 6 April 2017 22:28 (two weeks ago) Permalink

what i'm saying is that we live in this kind eternal post-modern echo chamber and it's really hard for me to imagine something sounding utterly new (isn't there a thread about this somewhere?) anyway,

i just went and listened to those songs, i've never heard alanis morissette before, i guess i'm on the fence specifically with her production. the big compressed drum loops yeah, wasn't beck doing the same thing around the same time? is '90s beck really '90s sounding? my feeling is that you could salvage many elements of this sound and put it on the radio and re-contextualize it and people wouldn't immediately be like "woah time-warp to the nineties right here" but maybe i'm wrong

budo jeru, Thursday, 6 April 2017 23:29 (two weeks ago) Permalink

How could a Guardian article about music be inflammatory enough to inspire a petition with over 600 signatures, I wondered. Then I read and marvelled: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/27/music-lessons-children-white-wealthy#comment-95607277

My Body's Made of Crushed Little Evening Stars (Sund4r), Saturday, 8 April 2017 03:07 (two weeks ago) Permalink

lol that is incredible

SSN Lucci (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 8 April 2017 05:23 (two weeks ago) Permalink

That is seriously like the Monty Python architect sketch come to life

SSN Lucci (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 8 April 2017 05:24 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Ha. I meant to link the article, not a comment by a teenager: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/27/music-lessons-children-white-wealthy

I'm actually completely in favour of teaching music without notation in certain contexts but this article (and headline) still seem pretty wrongheaded to me.

My Body's Made of Crushed Little Evening Stars (Sund4r), Saturday, 8 April 2017 15:25 (two weeks ago) Permalink

My advice would be to go into science, medicine, technology, languages etc. Anything but music. There's no money in it and it gets you nowhere - study something useful instead.

...so music and chicken have become intertwined (Turrican), Saturday, 8 April 2017 15:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

ok this isn't "bad" per se https://theoutline.com/post/1368/pop-collabs-are-boring

but i feel like taking issue with the fact that features don't always synthesize artists into the song assumes that a hip-hop feature on pop song has to be a synthesis. the fact that ty$ and fifth harmony sound distinct from each other on Work From Home doesn't make the feature "disposable". also, equating "disposable" with "boring" is (semantically, i know, but still) kinda shortsighted, especially when most pop is knowingly "disposable" already.

maybe it's just that this feels pretty under-researched and "pop ruins everything"-y, overall—i'd love to look at a thing about how exactly the feature (are we talking about hip-hop verse in place of bridge or disco-diva style EDM vocalist, though? another glossed over distinction) became a staple of the pop hit structure, but this is so fixed on putting down its subject any good points feel totally lost.

austinb, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 01:30 (one week ago) Permalink

i think that's pretty bad per se

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Tuesday, 11 April 2017 01:43 (one week ago) Permalink

lol wasn't sure if everything had to be as glaringly bad as that Flume review from the independent

austinb, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 01:43 (one week ago) Permalink

would be more interesting to talk about how guest raps have become the equivalent of the guitar solo

maura, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 12:25 (one week ago) Permalink

or how men have to horn in on ladies' songs for reasons that probably boil down to "millennial male" appeal, to sometimes disastrous effect (shudders at memory of soulja boy clomping around the opening of vistoso bosses' otherwise lovely "delirious")

maura, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 12:27 (one week ago) Permalink

anyway the outline's writing on music is p poor across the board. lifeless and whiny and completely lacking in descriptions of sound - you know. the important part

maura, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 12:29 (one week ago) Permalink

yeah they should stick to their lane of lefty politics and whatever this was

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 11 April 2017 12:54 (one week ago) Permalink

lol i didn't think soulja boy on "delirious" was that bad but yeah it was def unnecessary :X

but otm re: that kind of pairing

dyl, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 15:27 (one week ago) Permalink

Not writing, but on his podcast the great Wesley Morris went on a riff about how we're in a musical period as great as the 70s with Kendrick as Stevie Wonder and Drake as Fleetwood Mac, with Views as his Tusk that just made my head explode.

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Thursday, 20 April 2017 16:29 (four days ago) Permalink

barf

SSN Lucci (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 20 April 2017 16:34 (four days ago) Permalink

Finally, a TUSK we can call our own

SSN Lucci (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 20 April 2017 16:34 (four days ago) Permalink

I don't remember Fleetwood Mac sucking all to be damned

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Thursday, 20 April 2017 16:35 (four days ago) Permalink

a drake is a male duck

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 20 April 2017 16:41 (four days ago) Permalink

I don't remember Fleetwood Mac sucking all to be damned

I do.

Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Violent J (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 20 April 2017 16:42 (four days ago) Permalink

drake is rap's phil collins only i still don't like him

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 20 April 2017 17:14 (four days ago) Permalink

he's the phil collins era of genesis but only the song "illegal alien"

a landlocked exclave (mh 😏), Thursday, 20 April 2017 17:27 (four days ago) Permalink

ok, not really, but that's the worst collins-related thing that came to mind

a landlocked exclave (mh 😏), Thursday, 20 April 2017 17:27 (four days ago) Permalink

the article itself is not really noteworthy but the title made me want to crawl into the crypt:

"Shawn Mendes' 10 Best Deep Cuts"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Monday, 24 April 2017 13:21 (three hours ago) Permalink

there's only one shawn mendes deep cut I'd care to hear about tbh

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Monday, 24 April 2017 13:36 (three hours ago) Permalink


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