OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (nine years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

Fight Like Fuck would make a great album title.

Working night & day, I tried to stay awake... (Turrican), Wednesday, 30 November 2016 23:20 (one month ago) Permalink

Slipknot - Fight Like Fuck

The Who - Fight Like Fuck

Tindersticks - Fight Like Fuck

Working night & day, I tried to stay awake... (Turrican), Wednesday, 30 November 2016 23:22 (one month ago) Permalink

We should really just start a separate thread so we can clown that essay for four years

Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 1 December 2016 00:05 (one month ago) Permalink

make it so

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 December 2016 05:11 (one month ago) Permalink

I think whiskey is one of those things that people really get into when they get older, like beer-
I'm also into beer.

Or coffee.
And coffee.

Well, you just love everything!

niels, Thursday, 1 December 2016 08:52 (one month ago) Permalink

95% of year-end list blurbs are awful

I've read Ta-nehisi Coates. (marcos), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 14:58 (one month ago) Permalink

"In this Post-Nov.8 world, 95% of year-end list blurbs are awful"

fixed

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 15:09 (one month ago) Permalink

do we have that thread yet? i was just thinking today "are they still reading that essay to themselves"

the klosterman weekend (s.clover), Friday, 16 December 2016 22:49 (one month ago) Permalink

fighting like fuck to fuck to fight to make music to

the klosterman weekend (s.clover), Friday, 16 December 2016 22:50 (one month ago) Permalink

Everyone knows that music has charms to soothe a savage breast, but few have read the rest of William Congreve’s line, which claims it can also “soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak,” and so, in these times of breast-beating savagery, heads full of stones, and tangles in desperate need of unknotting (times to try men’s and women’s souls, one might say), there is still a vital place for music in our lives. And so, here are my picks for the 10 best jazz albums of 2016, followed by the year’s four best previously unissued old treasures.

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/music_box/2016/12/the_best_jazz_albums_of_2016_and_the_best_historical_releases.html

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 16:58 (one month ago) Permalink

A big shout out goes to the lamb chops, thos lamb chops (ulysses), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:00 (one month ago) Permalink

oops that's actually the line and I'm a fucking dipshit redneck, carry on

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:02 (one month ago) Permalink

why is that line bolded

lol xp

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:02 (one month ago) Permalink

dammit got so excited for a pedants' pile-on for a minute there

Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:06 (one month ago) Permalink

*extremely florida swamp trash voice*: i aint gon sit idly by while some pulitzer prize winning f*ggit with a phd from MIT misquotes CONGREVE on my watch

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:09 (one month ago) Permalink

^^^ me irl

Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:10 (one month ago) Permalink

keep calm and play yourself

mookieproof, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:12 (one month ago) Permalink

alas poor whiney I knew him well

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:13 (one month ago) Permalink

ah well, tomorrow to fresh fields and pastures new

Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:16 (one month ago) Permalink

*spits tobacco into powerade bottle* 'Tis well enough for a servant to be bred at an University. But the education is a little too pedantic for a gentleman.

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:17 (one month ago) Permalink

*googles william congreve* *makes ilx post*

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:18 (one month ago) Permalink

why did you censor the word faggot in your post like we don't know what word you were using...

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 December 2016 17:19 (one month ago) Permalink

the post was penned to create the illusion of an idiotic hick (also note the intentional mispelling), but the irl whiney didn't want to risk an ironic slur being irl triggering

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:21 (one month ago) Permalink

the practice of typing an asterisk in the place of one vowel when typing a slur doesn't originate with whiney tbf, it's a baffling practice to me but that's for another time mebbe

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:22 (one month ago) Permalink

"phew, with an i/a in it that word might be triggering!"

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:24 (one month ago) Permalink

language is changing, and the inalienable right to type a misspelled homophobic slur in all its glory is not exactly a hill worth dying on

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:27 (one month ago) Permalink

(as i have said before)

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:28 (one month ago) Permalink

then why did you type it

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 December 2016 17:29 (one month ago) Permalink

well, the irl wins would err on the side of not typing ironic slurs in the 1st place

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:29 (one month ago) Permalink

xp

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:29 (one month ago) Permalink

it's not like we don't know what word you meant...

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 December 2016 17:29 (one month ago) Permalink

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 December 2016 17:30 (one month ago) Permalink

ILX: We Make Breasts Savage.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:30 (one month ago) Permalink

then why did you type it

― J0rdan S., Monday, December 19, 2016 12:29 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i honestly toyed with the phrasing of the post to find the right combo of "ignorant disdain for coastal elites" to juxtapose with "having opinions on william congreve" and I couldn't find something that was as concisely effective at conveying ignorance as misspelling a homophobic slur

i sound like LJ now

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:34 (one month ago) Permalink

And, also, my politics don't line up with every Louis CK routine despite also being a human Wall•E

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:35 (one month ago) Permalink

:)

illbient microtonal poetry Surbiton (imago), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:35 (one month ago) Permalink

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:37 (one month ago) Permalink

amazing that this came about from you trying to find the most effective way to make fun of your previous gaffe

yo dawg I heard you like to self-clown

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:37 (one month ago) Permalink

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:39 (one month ago) Permalink

we have all been that dog in that oven

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, 19 December 2016 17:39 (one month ago) Permalink

the practice of typing an asterisk in the place of one vowel when typing a slur doesn't originate with whiney tbf, it's a baffling practice to me but that's for another time mebbe

― forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Monday, December 19, 2016 12:22 PM (fifteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's like the text equivalent of a silicone nipple petal

Evan, Monday, 19 December 2016 17:41 (one month ago) Permalink

i'm doing a character, you *insert horrible insulting term my constructed stereotype would use*!!

mh 😏, Monday, 19 December 2016 18:12 (one month ago) Permalink

i'm not sure why whiney doesn't just stick with "diaper drinkers", because he's never going to top that in or out of character

mh 😏, Monday, 19 December 2016 18:12 (one month ago) Permalink

[adds 'triggering' to list of words that now instantly give me a headache when I read them]

Wimmels, Monday, 19 December 2016 18:35 (one month ago) Permalink

Aww bless, does it trigger you?

Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Monday, 19 December 2016 18:36 (one month ago) Permalink

let's just say it's become a problematic word for me

Wimmels, Monday, 19 December 2016 18:37 (one month ago) Permalink

bacon

― flappy bird, Tuesday, December 13, 2016 1:23 PM (six days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Evan, Monday, 19 December 2016 18:51 (one month ago) Permalink

tr*ggering

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Monday, 19 December 2016 18:56 (one month ago) Permalink

i'm not sure why whiney doesn't just stick with "diaper drinkers", because he's never going to top that in or out of character

I stole that line from J4son P3ttigrew of Alternative Press iirc

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 19 December 2016 18:58 (one month ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.