OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (nine years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

i guess the execution is kind of unintended-ly gross for making you think abt the poor people on the other side? but still it's clearly positioned to be mocking bryson tiller

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 20:47 (one month ago) Permalink

the suggestion that your exes are guinea pigs you could subject to a mind-fuck social experiment in the name of #content is gross

Evan R, Tuesday, 24 January 2017 20:55 (one month ago) Permalink

sure? idk what kind of person reads this & goes away thinking "i should try this on my ex"

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 20:57 (one month ago) Permalink

like the message is clearly "this would turn out badly"

idek why im arguing this point, we all the think the article is bad

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 20:58 (one month ago) Permalink

there's also the angle of (probably-)white dude using rap lyrics for his hilarious idea of a "self-deprecating" prank

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 21:06 (one month ago) Permalink

i mean, its more white dude stealing the concept from black people on twitter, where it's a longstanding joke where ppl express their *self awareness* about the douchey-ness of the lyrics by pointing out how no one would talk like that irl, drawing attention to the role of music like tiller's as a kind of therapeutic or emotional "its ok to feel it but not to act on it" kind of thing

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 21:08 (one month ago) Permalink

no one (w/ a moral compass) would talk like that irl

obviously those jokes can also be interpreted in other ways, like there's a subset of dudes who send those texts to their exes just to get funny responses (which is gross) & there's probably a subset of weirdos who dont get the joke, but the overall thrust of it is supposed to be: the way bryson tiller talks is not how healthy people in relationships talk to each other

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 21:10 (one month ago) Permalink

point being as i said before: there are problems with this bad article, but i think you're misinterpreting it

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 21:11 (one month ago) Permalink

there's something about how the female voice is being subtly mimicked and mocked here too, i think...some of the replies as written are i think meant to be self-deprecating to the author but come off the other way a bit.

nomar, Tuesday, 24 January 2017 21:13 (one month ago) Permalink

this has little to do with the quality of the piece, I admit, but just the sheer arrogance of it, how women are called clingy bitches if they even so much as think about contacting an ex once or, like, go to an event in their neighborhood or whatnot

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 22:24 (one month ago) Permalink

(and then how something like this fits perfectly into the ironic-acceptable ex behavior overton window)

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 22:25 (one month ago) Permalink

Could you imagine being an adult media professional and either having or pretending someone is in your phone as "ex-bae" even jokingly

Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 24 January 2017 22:27 (one month ago) Permalink

point being as i said before: there are problems with this bad article, but i think you're misinterpreting it

board description

Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 22:30 (one month ago) Permalink

lol i felt bad about that post. was kind of dickish

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 22:53 (one month ago) Permalink

if they sent the lyrics to people on tindr it coulda been ok i think

the klosterman weekend (s.clover), Tuesday, 24 January 2017 22:58 (one month ago) Permalink

oh god

mh 😏, Wednesday, 25 January 2017 01:38 (one month ago) Permalink

With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven, seven—even Back Door Little Joe.

smh

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 25 January 2017 17:45 (one month ago) Permalink

That Complex article seems to have been taken down.

heaven parker (anagram), Wednesday, 25 January 2017 18:39 (one month ago) Permalink

not for me

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Wednesday, 25 January 2017 19:05 (one month ago) Permalink

(although thanks for making me send it one more click I guess)

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Wednesday, 25 January 2017 19:05 (one month ago) Permalink

I think Father John Misty's long-winded explanation of his new album could fit on this list. http://pitchfork.com/news/71106-here-is-father-john-mistys-incredibly-long-incredibly-awesome-explanation-of-what-his-new-album-is-about/

Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Wednesday, 1 February 2017 20:21 (three weeks ago) Permalink

i'm not reading that. you read it. give it to mikey, he hates everything.

scott seward, Wednesday, 1 February 2017 20:46 (three weeks ago) Permalink

i had to check:

"Born May 3, 1981 (age 35)"

ouch....

scott seward, Wednesday, 1 February 2017 20:49 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I could barely read it, it was mindless pap

Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Wednesday, 1 February 2017 20:53 (three weeks ago) Permalink

fuck this guy

niels, Wednesday, 1 February 2017 21:59 (three weeks ago) Permalink

shit, dude was born the week after me :/

mh 😏, Wednesday, 1 February 2017 22:47 (three weeks ago) Permalink

OH KIDS THESE DAYS!!

http://ritholtz.com/2017/02/weve-got-no-protest-music

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 5 February 2017 14:41 (three weeks ago) Permalink

lol, no preamble or anything. Just straight into "1. Mariah Carey".

jmm, Sunday, 5 February 2017 14:55 (three weeks ago) Permalink

welcome to lefsetz land

ridiculous perm ban decision (voodoo chili), Sunday, 5 February 2017 15:21 (three weeks ago) Permalink

If only there was an embraceable anthem, akin to those of NWA and Public Enemy of yesteryear. I remember during the Rodney King riots realizing everything Ice-T said was right. But now that Trump’s in office and white man power is at its zenith, I can’t point to one hip-hop song that nails it.

if only there were a song that told Donald Trump to fuck off...

ridiculous perm ban decision (voodoo chili), Sunday, 5 February 2017 15:23 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Waiting for people to do the heavy lifting and send him relevant songs

mh 😏, Sunday, 5 February 2017 15:41 (three weeks ago) Permalink

We used to sit around and sing Beatle songs, playing the chords on our guitars. I haven’t seen a group of kids sitting around playing today’s music…ever!

niels, Sunday, 5 February 2017 16:55 (three weeks ago) Permalink

lol must have never been to a fuckin' bar on a Friday night or to any dorms ever.

Neanderthal, Sunday, 5 February 2017 16:57 (three weeks ago) Permalink

ugh this board is at its worst when people think it's fun to joke about shit like Alzheimer's

sheer presence, look and size (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 5 February 2017 17:01 (three weeks ago) Permalink

If only there were some meme depicting an old man, say, yelling at a cloud or something

Wimmels, Sunday, 5 February 2017 17:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

quite the conundrum

dorsalstop, Sunday, 5 February 2017 18:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

it’s become self-referential, kinda like metal. You can’t understand today’s metal unless you listened to decades of it before.

It's a special kind of agony when Lefsetz says something you kind of agree with.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 5 February 2017 18:17 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Stopped clock etc

sheer presence, look and size (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 5 February 2017 18:31 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I'm missing the part where anyone joked about Alzheimer's

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 5 February 2017 19:04 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Yeah, I missed that too. Maybe a post landed in the wrong thread by mistake?

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 5 February 2017 19:07 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I think that was supposed to be a joke? As in, don't make fun of this guy, he can't help himself, "senior moment," etc

that's how I read it anyway

Wimmels, Sunday, 5 February 2017 20:08 (three weeks ago) Permalink

bingo

sheer presence, look and size (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 5 February 2017 20:49 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Does this count

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQUSEiwl_zY/

Evan, Friday, 10 February 2017 21:33 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i like it

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Monday, 13 February 2017 00:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Though the following exhibit came out in 2013, I maintain that it is the worst piece of music writing ever committed to pixels:

http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/what-if-you-dont-like-beyonces-album/

pomenitul, Monday, 13 February 2017 16:33 (two weeks ago) Permalink

When I was standing in line to validate a parking ticket after American Hustle, “Pretty Hurts” was stuck in my head, and I couldn’t get it out, even after sitting in a theater honed in on another piece of media for nearly three hours. Those are the moments that matter, and they never happen immediately. That’s how I was proven wrong.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 February 2017 16:37 (two weeks ago) Permalink

When I was standing in line to validate a parking ticket after Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, “The Chicken Dance” was stuck in my head, and I couldn’t get it out, even after sitting in a theater honed in on another piece of media for nearly three hours. Those are the moments that matter, and they never happen immediately. That’s how I was proven wrong.

pomenitul, Monday, 13 February 2017 16:41 (two weeks ago) Permalink

this one time at band camp

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Monday, 13 February 2017 18:46 (two weeks ago) Permalink

lol, the byline is a good kicker

maura, Monday, 13 February 2017 21:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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