OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (7 years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

This person will report and write the lead music story for the SF Weekly paper every week and will assign, edit, and write posts for the paper's music blog, All Shook Down. The ideal candidate will have professional experience covering Bay Area music, a deep knowledge and voracious interest in music of all genres, and the enthusiasm and energy to develop sources and find fresh, compelling stories.

20 hrs/wk, hourly rate

lol xpost

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 15:37 (1 week ago) Permalink

i need a new job

maura, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 15:38 (1 week ago) Permalink

me too

alpine static, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 16:54 (1 week ago) Permalink

lol:

- Ability to turn out pristine, compelling copy with or without an editor

alpine static, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:06 (1 week ago) Permalink

"Kids: run far far away from this field unless your parents are rich."

or do your own thing! start something good on your own. and work it. fuck all these crappy places. it's basically an entire industry BEGGING you to be creative and do something cool on your own.

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:10 (1 week ago) Permalink

has this been posted? i hate to link to laweekly and their clickbait pieces. i was actually surprised to see this in the print edition, i didn't realize they bothered wasting actual ink on this stuff.

http://www.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2014/08/05/why-la-is-more-punk-than-new-york

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:16 (1 week ago) Permalink

almost think this thread should be locked. it's bad mojo. the good music writing thread has cobwebs on it...

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:18 (1 week ago) Permalink

Reynolds' line about the nazi helmet is in response to LL comparing himself to Hitler, no?

― Position Position, Wednesday, August 27, 2014 3:50 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not really no

a spectrum is taunting ur OP (wins), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:22 (1 week ago) Permalink

couldn't agree more with "do your own thing! start something good on your own" and yes when that works it is awesome, but it's a cluttered, noisy world out there, it's hard to get something like that off the ground MUCH LESS bringing in revenue and unfortunately nobody's bills are going away. never mind finding the time to do it. again, i agree wholeheartedly but that's just easier said than done.

alpine static, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:32 (1 week ago) Permalink

admittedly, i tend to be risk averse and have a mortgage and two little mouths to feed. doing something cool is a young person's game, i guess.

alpine static, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:34 (1 week ago) Permalink

uh it's still kinda difficult for the single childless renter, too, trust

maura, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:44 (1 week ago) Permalink

everything is easier said than done. i quit a union job that gave great health care and benefits to me and my family to open a used record store at the height of a recession. it ain't easy. being young helps. all kinds of things help. having a full time job and working on something else at night is rough. don't have kids if you can help it. it's just that SO MUCH of this internet and print stuff sucks SO bad. websites, free papers, newspapers, magazines. and if you aren't gonna get paid anything (or much) anyway, just do it on your own. if you can make a living as a print or web journalist churning out crap, that's fine. everyone has to eat.

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

can't remember the last time i did anything cool

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

I ate some gelato the other day, that was cool

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:47 (1 week ago) Permalink

most people will NEVER make a living with music writing, so why not just do stuff that interests you? or think of a cool project for you and your friends to work on. for fun?

i'm not even talking to people here. just...in general.

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

de capo best new gelato 2014

ra's al goole (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

it's just all so BAD. nobody with any brains should want to have anything to do with it. i don't care if it's huffpo or buzzfeed or the guardian or whatever. BAD!!

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

couldn't agree more with "do your own thing! start something good on your own" and yes when that works it is awesome, but it's a cluttered, noisy world out there, it's hard to get something like that off the ground MUCH LESS bringing in revenue and unfortunately nobody's bills are going away. never mind finding the time to do it. again, i agree wholeheartedly but that's just easier said than done.

I've been running Burning Ambulance since 2010. I make no money from it; there aren't even ads on the site. Granted, entire weeks can go by without a post, and our daily pageviews hover in the low hundreds, but I'm happy with it, the artists I write about are happy with it, and that's enough. Monday to Friday, I do other stuff.

Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

Ugh, I don't want to start my own zine.

Herbie Handcock (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:51 (1 week ago) Permalink

I'm chewing a toothpick and fixing up my harley as I type. Is that cool?

radioplay vs coldhead (dog latin), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:51 (1 week ago) Permalink

idk are you getting paid for it

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:57 (1 week ago) Permalink

did i mention how bad everything is?

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:58 (1 week ago) Permalink

"Ugh, I don't want to start my own zine."

duh, i'm not talking about you slackers. people with energy. and pep.

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 17:59 (1 week ago) Permalink

writing essay-length posts on ilx is probably the easiest way to reach a receptive -- or at least reactive -- readership for your views on music.

lars von (Treeship), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:00 (1 week ago) Permalink

nothing is more discouraging than laboring away at a blog or something and having nobody read what you wrote.

lars von (Treeship), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:01 (1 week ago) Permalink

writing essay-length posts on ilx is probably the easiest way to reach a receptive -- or at least reactive -- readership for your views on music.

― lars von (Treeship), Wednesday, August 27, 2014 1:00 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Flagged this post.

Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:05 (1 week ago) Permalink

here, NA. Cheers:

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:06 (1 week ago) Permalink

writing essay-length posts on ilx is probably the easiest way to reach a receptive -- or at least reactive -- readership for your views on music.

― lars von (Treeship), Wednesday, August 27, 2014 7:00 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*throws up all over keyboard*

famous instagram God (waterface), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:31 (1 week ago) Permalink

this college radio DJ writing all over a soft machine record has provided me with my ur-blog entertainment for the day.

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:32 (1 week ago) Permalink

even an ur-comment section!

scott seward, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:32 (1 week ago) Permalink

waterface, why don't you start a zine?

lars von (Treeship), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:37 (1 week ago) Permalink

he's too busy working on his zing

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:38 (1 week ago) Permalink

i used to love reading the write-ups on record sleeves at my college radio station, scott. there too people would often add little addendums to the original texts.

lars von (Treeship), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:39 (1 week ago) Permalink

Let's show the sinners that we have the stamina to keep up with this dangerous, tragic, uncertain world! Let's SPREAD CHRIST'S LOVE!!!

Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:47 (1 week ago) Permalink

de capo best new gelato 2014

― ra's al goole (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, August 27, 2014 5:49 PM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

class post

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 18:52 (1 week ago) Permalink

nothing is more discouraging than laboring away at a blog or something and having nobody read what you wrote

I definitely have been there though sometimes something cool happens like the time Andrew W.K. linked to one of my posts through FB and Twitter and I got like a 1000 views overnight

Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 19:00 (1 week ago) Permalink

flag boast

post...aftermath (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 21:10 (1 week ago) Permalink

(but really, that would be cool. congrats.)

post...aftermath (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 21:11 (1 week ago) Permalink

alpine and scott otm throughout of course but there's something a bit sadistic about yelling "the old methods don't work, let us go boldly into the future" to people who just invested ten years diligently and intelligently trying to work by those old methods

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 28 August 2014 03:14 (6 days ago) Permalink

The only reason our blog regularly got 100 views a day was because my mate wrote a listicle about the Top 10 beards in rock.

radioplay vs coldhead (dog latin), Thursday, 28 August 2014 08:54 (6 days ago) Permalink

"Old methods"? Who the hell spent their youth thinking writing abt music ws going to earn them money?

sonic thedgehod (albvivertine), Thursday, 28 August 2014 09:26 (6 days ago) Permalink

there's something a bit sadistic about yelling "the old methods don't work, let us go boldly into the future" to people who just invested ten years diligently and intelligently trying to work by those old methods

its more sadistic to tell them the old methods do work when they patently don't. scott otm, on doing your own thing but also about this thread having bad mojo. i regularly unfollow because it gets me down but every new clusterfuck draws me back. but fuck it, of course there's terrible writing out there. but better to spend time focusing on the good, or doing your own.

you couldn't even wear a fedora if your lifes depended on it (stevie), Thursday, 28 August 2014 09:47 (6 days ago) Permalink

"Old methods"? Who the hell spent their youth thinking writing abt music ws going to earn them money?

― sonic thedgehod (albvivertine), Thursday, August 28, 2014 5:26 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bozack horseman (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 28 August 2014 14:36 (6 days ago) Permalink

:,(

maura, Thursday, 28 August 2014 15:29 (6 days ago) Permalink

the old ways

j., Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:23 (6 days ago) Permalink

"the old methods" = getting an internship/freelance gig at a major publication, struggling and honing your craft while publishing wherever you can, getting a staff position at that publication.
It was hardly a failsafe or a given that process could or world work but the presumption was that if you had the talent and diligence and put in the time, you could find a living wage if you were one of the hard-working and lucky ones to break through. cf to that SF job posting.

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:27 (6 days ago) Permalink

so normally I'd agree with the "bad mojo" stuff (even if it does veer perilously close to "just get a job making 94K and bennies!") and try to limit myself to the most abhorrent, mean-spirited and/or gross of the worst.

in that spirit, this is just a blurb but somehow condenses so much into three sentences:

http://seattlish.com/post/96123357756/erm-the-weeklys-bumbershoot-preview-for-la-luz-is

katherine, Saturday, 30 August 2014 18:20 (4 days ago) Permalink

It reads like he reverse-engineered the blurb from the Stooges reference

Herbie Handcock (Murgatroid), Saturday, 30 August 2014 22:18 (4 days ago) Permalink


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