OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (8 years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (8 years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (8 years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (8 years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (8 years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (8 years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (8 years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (8 years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (8 years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (8 years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (8 years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (8 years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (8 years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (8 years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (8 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (8 years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (8 years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (8 years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (8 years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (8 years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (8 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (8 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (8 years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (8 years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (8 years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (8 years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (8 years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (8 years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (8 years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (8 years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (8 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (8 years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (8 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (8 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (8 years ago) Permalink

Treeship, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:26 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

what's embarrassing about the posts on that thread? i just read it, everyone just goes "yeah wow this album is good"

― de l'asshole (flopson), Tuesday, April 5, 2016 12:22 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Most embarrassing overpraise of the just released 'Ears' album on Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith thread

Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:30 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Lol, oh god

de l'asshole (flopson), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:33 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

well at least whiney didn't poll the king thread

HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS (BradNelson), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:46 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

oh i see matt also made that joke

HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS (BradNelson), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:48 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

the difference is that the KING album is an actual masterpiece ;)

And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:49 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

wait wtf is thump? how many verticals can vice possibly need

qualx, Thursday, 7 April 2016 07:36 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I would not necessarily call this "worst ever" but I do think it just ignores/glosses over the fact that female pop-punk artists exist (it mentions Paramore but seems to have... somehow... missed the fact that Hayley is the frontwoman?) as well as female pop-punk *fans* (5SOS's fanbase is mostly women), who probably don't have much truck with the "dominant dude-bro ideology"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Monday, 11 April 2016 18:06 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

shit sorry forgot the link

(pause, question priorities where one apologies for forgetting a link but not for criticizing an article)

http://www.last.fm/features/post/2259045:feature:9e81d3e2-6fac-4c64-a867-c244c2115757

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Monday, 11 April 2016 18:06 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Not sure if this is the right place to bemoan something like this but I'm gonna bemoan this here: http://coolmaterial.com/media/best-vinyl-records/?utm_source=Cool+Material&utm_campaign=605458e35e-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_DAILY&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f248e7d25b-605458e35e-297496053&mc_cid=605458e35e&mc_eid=6128f9e24d

Usually click bait like this isn't even worth the bandwidth but the writing and editing here is woefully bad and shallow and bad

My favorite gem, talking about Kid A: "an album that blipped, beeped, and floated effortlessly in the background when you played it."

(PS should there be a thread called something like "Shitty web links your dad sends you because he knows you're into records"?)

MrExplorer, Saturday, 16 April 2016 02:37 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

My favorite gem, talking about Kid A: "an album that blipped, beeped, and floated effortlessly in the background when you played it."

disappointed that they didn't throw a 'blooped' in there as well.

the inclusion of Joe Jackson's Body and Soul means I can't hate that article, though

soref, Saturday, 16 April 2016 13:00 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Vinyl is back. And with the best year in terms of sales since 1988, it doesn’t seem like vinyl is going anywhere.

It's true. Astonishing numbers.

punnerist spoon here (onimo), Saturday, 16 April 2016 19:28 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I didn't know vinyl sales were on the decline a good three-to-four years before CDs came out in 1984. What were people buying in the early 80s? Cassettes?

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:29 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Yes. The Walkman changed everything.

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:38 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I was. And like lots of people I didn't start buying CDs until well after 1984 -- 1992, maybe?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:39 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

They didn't fit in the Walkman, was the thing.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:40 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I switched in '92 as well. Went from walkman to discman.

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:42 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

What is the source of that graphic above?

Wimmels, Sunday, 17 April 2016 22:43 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Home taping is killing the music industry.

campreverb, Monday, 18 April 2016 01:54 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

We got a CD player in... 1985? 1986? I know I did the Columbia House thing in 1987 to jumpstart my collection and taped them to play in my Walkman (one perk of my dad working for 3M was piles and piles and piles of cheap blank cassettes basically any time I wanted them)

i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Monday, 18 April 2016 15:38 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

never would have guessed that 45 single sales outstripped LPs consistently like that

xp

Οὖτις, Monday, 18 April 2016 15:44 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i think that graph was first published on digitalmusicnews.com, which claims the figures are from the riaa

dyl, Monday, 18 April 2016 16:44 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

taped them to play in my Walkman

Me, too. That was the first time I started being interested in sound quality as a thing, was when I noticed how much better tapes recorded from CDs sounded than tapes recorded from vinyl.

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Monday, 18 April 2016 16:49 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Maybe I'm being picky. because it's not the content that's bad here, but the writing is...ugh.

http://flavorwire.com/571669/grimes-reveals-that-numerous-male-producers-have-demanded-sex-from-her?utm_campaign=FlavorwireSocial&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Monday, 18 April 2016 18:31 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

That second paragraph is a killer.

"So it’s no surprise that Grimes, who, as a completely autonomous artist — Claire Boucher writes, records, produces, mixes, and masters everything that she attaches the “Grimes” label to — has routinely criticized both the music industry and the media at large for misrepresenting her as simply a muse, a singer that attaches her voice to other people’s (note: male’s) productions, would eventually have to speak on the subject."

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Monday, 18 April 2016 18:31 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

or is it just me? Maybe I'm having a morning.

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Monday, 18 April 2016 18:32 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

"So apparently Dr. Luke isn’t the only male producer in the industry who might be awful."

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 18 April 2016 18:33 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

never would have guessed that 45 single sales outstripped LPs consistently like that

xp

― Οὖτις, Monday, April 18, 2016 11:44 AM (2 hours ago)

hard to tell if the light green + dark green are supposed to be = total vinyl sales, in which case LPs outsold 45s except for like a 10-year stretch in the 90s. not sure what the explanation of that would be

k3vin k., Monday, 18 April 2016 18:36 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

yeah, when compared to this chart, also produced by the riaa, it becomes clear that the amounts sold are stacked. so, LPs were outselling singles for most of the period in question here. makes sense, aor heyday.

Keks + Nuss (contenderizer), Monday, 18 April 2016 18:59 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

^ shows that vinyl sales are still a tiny portion of the total, with CDs and downloads making up the bulk. also, perhaps suggests that CD sales and downloads are both establishing a plateau?

Keks + Nuss (contenderizer), Monday, 18 April 2016 19:04 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Grimes’ outspokenness is an important step to guaranteeing that accusations such as Kesha’s are treated with the respect they deserve, rather than as the complaints of someone who is simply unhappy in a recording contract.

jesus christ

rockpalast '82 (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 18 April 2016 20:23 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

So apparently Dr. Luke isn’t the only male producer in the industry who might be awful.

you don't say

HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS (BradNelson), Monday, 18 April 2016 20:31 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

"You know what I really want? I want to watch the Beyonce videos." (googles)

"Long Live Queen Bey, for she has graced us with an unparalleled release event combining music, video, and everything that we already love about Beyoncé. Building on everything that she promised when she debuted the video for "Formation" the weekend of the Super Bowl, Beyoncé's Lemonade HBO premiere event took an equally important television slot (the Game of Thrones premiere weekend), and made it entirely her own. Now that everyone has taken the time to fully absorb all of Beyoncé's new music that has just been unleashed onto the world (although if you need more time, that's understandable), the first step is to figure out how to watch all of that goodness again. So where can you stream the Lemonade music videos?

Like a real glass of lemonade, Beyonce's Lemonade special was a sweet, refreshing treat and I would like more of it ASAP. With the HBO special also comes a new album of Beyoncé material ready to be listened to over and over again. And much like how Beyoncé's last release Beyoncé featured a video for every single song, it seems as though Lemonade is doing something similar. Beyonce's latest visual album has set the internet on absolute fire, spawning analysis of the images and lyrics that comprise Lemonade. Beyoncé fans hoping to revisit the dense project can find the project available for streaming on HBOGo, as well as on Tidal alongside the album itself.

The film lends a power to the words that is lost when listening only to the album, so be sure to revisit Lemonade as it was intended to be consumed, as a visual album."

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 24 April 2016 03:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

Like a real glass of lemonade, Beyonce's Lemonade special was a sweet, refreshing treat and I would like more of it ASAP.

wow

JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Sunday, 24 April 2016 03:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

popular drink iirc

glandular lansbury (sic), Sunday, 24 April 2016 04:11 (1 week ago) Permalink

the best part is how half the time it says Beyoncé and half the time it just says Beyonce

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 24 April 2016 04:13 (1 week ago) Permalink

(also, I promised myself I'd spend less time criticizing other people's writing, but this is so cynical and empty and blatant an attempt to waste readers' time and divert them away from good artistry that it's infuriating. at least What Time Is The Super Bowl told you what time the goddamn Super Bowl was!)

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 24 April 2016 04:15 (1 week ago) Permalink

The answer to that question is a little difficult for many fans to answer because, well, neither Jay Z or Beyoncé seem to know a Becky. Neither of them have mentioned one in a song before, nor have they ever been connected to a person named Becky. The only celebrity who has been connected with a Becky in any big way in the news would be Taylor Swift, i.e. in 2014 when she wore that no its Becky shirt in response to that famous internet meme in which someone purposefully confused a picture of her with that of their friend Becky. Of course, the chances of Taylor Swift being "Becky with the good hair" is pretty slim to none. She does have good hair, but she doesn't spend much time hanging out with Beyoncé or Jay Z.

HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS (BradNelson), Sunday, 24 April 2016 15:44 (1 week ago) Permalink

obligatory youtube here

ulysses, Sunday, 24 April 2016 17:35 (1 week ago) Permalink

Brad that quote made my brain bleed.

husked, tonal wails (irrational), Monday, 25 April 2016 14:46 (1 week ago) Permalink

classic becky

mandatory sex webinar (contenderizer), Monday, 25 April 2016 15:25 (1 week ago) Permalink

this just seems like someone straight up trolling certain ilm posters

http://metro.co.uk/2016/04/24/people-think-james-blake-is-the-true-star-of-beyonces-lemonade-5837280/

soref, Monday, 25 April 2016 15:38 (1 week ago) Permalink

Not a piece of writing, but I thought this exchange was worth preserving:

@leahfinnegan: nyt really needs a female music critic
@alexrossmusic: Is classical music "music"? If so, meet @CorinnadFW and @VivSchweitzer
@leahfinnegan: @alexrossmusic @CorinnadFW @VivSchweitzer point missed but thanks
@alexrossmusic: @leahfinnegan @CorinnadFW @VivSchweitzer I see your point, and am making another.

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Monday, 25 April 2016 15:44 (1 week ago) Permalink

http://www.npr.org/2016/04/25/475288644/songs-we-love-nite-jewel-kiss-the-screen

there's some OK stuff in this piece, but there are also a bunch of sentences that make me think the author does not know what words mean.

e.g.

...performed her Nite Jewel alias as an equalizer between herself and the listener rather than a salable object of desire....

They're fascinating, headspace-oriented compositions with poptimist touch tones for hooks, and the freedom Gonzalez found to mix and record as she saw fit permeates the songs' breezy production....

The liberty to move and work comfortably gave Gonzalez a way to construct a dubious, vaporous record that sits outside of the facile labels that circulate the music industry....

The final graf doesn't have any obvious howlers but advances an argument that doesn't really make any sense to me.

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 26 April 2016 01:38 (1 week ago) Permalink

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/04/merle-haggard-country-music-reagan/

Haggard always sang with a furrowed brow and lolling eyes. As a young man this habit seemed flirtatious, but as he aged it made him look paranoid and sad, perpetually puppy-dogging at every camera he encountered. For some, he seemed an end-times prophet of the waning era of American prosperity, talking straight and offering potent warnings of decline.

But in reality, he was just a run-of-the-mill conservative — for Merle, the keepers of the status quo were under constant attack, and he was a fierce defender of their privilege.

He was also a hypocrite, or maybe just confused.

fuck u commie rag

Blowout Coombes (President Keyes), Tuesday, 26 April 2016 17:42 (1 week ago) Permalink

Looks like Haggard's death has spawned quite a bit of poorly-composed vitriol. The response to the Jacobin piece is pretty spectacular, though.

Meanwhile, here's this one, which is indefensible from the get-go...

jon_oh, Tuesday, 26 April 2016 19:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

Jacobin is a joke.

-_- (jim in glasgow), Tuesday, 26 April 2016 20:20 (1 week ago) Permalink

it's nice when jacobin hands me another reason to ignore them

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 26 April 2016 22:28 (1 week ago) Permalink

NIce to see Haggard used as a pivot point for completely opposed ideological factions.

hardcore dilettante, Friday, 29 April 2016 04:58 (5 days ago) Permalink


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