OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (nine years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

karin andersson came BARRELLING down the hill yelling "NO!" at the black eyed peas, who were forced to jump into the east river

imago, Tuesday, 25 April 2017 15:37 (one month ago) Permalink

drake is rap's phil collins only i still don't like him

― Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, April 20, 2017 12:14 PM (five days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm contractually obligated to point out he's def a top 20 rock drummer of all time easy

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 15:43 (one month ago) Permalink

nah man Drake's top 30 AT BEST!

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 15:46 (one month ago) Permalink

amazing how the most anodyne fucking comment possible still gets me insulted for no reason

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 16:21 (one month ago) Permalink

Aw, it was an open goal, k, nothing but love

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 16:29 (one month ago) Permalink

j., Tuesday, 25 April 2017 16:35 (one month ago) Permalink

that's the first time i've ever heard those trivia, they are interesting and I'm glad I know em but I wouldn't begrudge someone for not knowing them and not writing about them.

flopson, Tuesday, 25 April 2017 16:42 (one month ago) Permalink

I dont think "trivia" is the right word though? I think these things are all absolutely integral in understanding the main conceit of the story!

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 16:59 (one month ago) Permalink

Like Diplo eventually collaborating with an actual member of the Clash on a Converse ad is "trivia." M.I.A. detourning the melody and lyrics of 90s butt-shaking song to be about globalism is 100% integral to what makes is a good chorus

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 17:03 (one month ago) Permalink

trivia or not, i've been able to enjoy all those choruses without knowing those facts. also, i googled for like 2 mins and couldn't find ANY piece of writing (aside from your ilx post and whosampled.com) that mentions them

flopson, Tuesday, 25 April 2017 17:39 (one month ago) Permalink

I hate to encourage the circular entropic flow of information between people writing chart articles and fucking genius.com, but genius does have the rumpshaker ref re:MIA

the "get low" annotations are worthless

a landlocked exclave (mh), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 18:16 (one month ago) Permalink

less than five google searches and I get from "to the windows, to the walls" to this article, which at least cites a 1994 track

asking people writing articles on pop culture to do more than two google searches is nearly impossible afaict

a landlocked exclave (mh), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 18:20 (one month ago) Permalink

I mean it's not really a lack of googling, more just the whole regurgitated received wisdom with a chyme gloss of celebrity gossip and fun blog voice thing, but

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 18:51 (one month ago) Permalink

I guess writing doesn't necessarily imply anyone did research

a landlocked exclave (mh), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 20:36 (one month ago) Permalink

I mean, honestly, on one level there's the skill of digging into some material, which used to be paging through Reader's Guide to Periodical Literature and hoping nothing really recent was relevant, and hopefully being able to have a couple sources that weren't just churn off the same article. (middle school library nerd here)

Now the actual digging is much easier with google, but the critical skills to find original sources to determine if you've found a traceable fact or just the same half-dozen people regurgitating one questionable source gets tricky.

I guess if you're churning out stuff in the ol' billboard post mill it might not matter

a landlocked exclave (mh), Tuesday, 25 April 2017 20:41 (one month ago) Permalink

that owns

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 04:39 (three weeks ago) Permalink

San Francisco's on the Trump Train, baby

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 04:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

That openness reverberates through “Want You Back”’s verses, which have a Don Henley glimmer and a Christine McVie yearning

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 23:39 (three weeks ago) Permalink

can't see what's particularly bad about that

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 23:52 (three weeks ago) Permalink

they forgot to work in a Twin Peaks reference too

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 23:56 (three weeks ago) Permalink

i hate to give mr. thenardlebop any attention at all, but this is so egregious how is he this uninformed


austinb, Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:05 (three weeks ago) Permalink

they forgot to work in a Twin Peaks reference too

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, May 3, 2017 4:56 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haim make pop-rock full of deliberate callbacks to '70s los angeles pop-rock i.e. what are you talking about

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:13 (three weeks ago) Permalink

make it a Mulholland Drive reference then

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:16 (three weeks ago) Permalink

my point was, yes they make that style of music so obviously that one could have written that sentence without hearing a second of music.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:17 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Jesus fuck fantano scolding wale unreal lack of awareness

I got da Midas touch as you fucking were LG x (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:18 (three weeks ago) Permalink

*billy ocean voice* caribbean craze

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:19 (three weeks ago) Permalink

looks like "know how to diss diplo, i'll run with it" without recognizing wale whatsoever

a landlocked exclave (mh), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:24 (three weeks ago) Permalink

What's a Don Henley glimmer

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:26 (three weeks ago) Permalink

The gleam of the LAPD badge as they search his partment?

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:27 (three weeks ago) Permalink

the reflection the lights off his coke mirror.

EZ Snappin, Thursday, 4 May 2017 00:38 (three weeks ago) Permalink

The fact that Wale responded to Fantano at all is an amazing self-ether

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 4 May 2017 02:43 (three weeks ago) Permalink

i get that ATDI is important but this is the most hagiographic, labored-over, critically uninteresting thing i've ever seen

http://thequietus.com/articles/22339-at-the-drive-in-inter-alia-album-review

austinb, Friday, 5 May 2017 18:37 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I got halfway through that before thinking "is this is a review of a new record or a fucking history lesson?" ... a couple of paragraphs later and I was like "is this a review of a new record or is this just the writer telling us how much he likes the previous one?"

The Anti-Climax Blues Band (Turrican), Friday, 5 May 2017 18:56 (two weeks ago) Permalink

The review didn't really click for me until paragraph seven:

Peers in my Devon sixth form college didn’t know what to make of them when I brought Relationship of Command into the common room

which is where I stopped reading. Especially once I noticed there were like 17 paragraphs to go. Pull your pants back up, buddy, it's just an album.

Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Violent J (誤訳侮辱), Friday, 5 May 2017 19:01 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I like At the Drive In quite a bit but I don't really know how "important" they are, they were solidly part of an emo-influence/mathy post-fugazi scene of underground rock

I got da Midas touch as you fucking were LG x (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 5 May 2017 19:04 (two weeks ago) Permalink

holy crap it's almost 6,000 words. that's like Wright Thompson or Spencer Hall longform strokejob length.

evol j, Friday, 5 May 2017 19:33 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Is there a Caribbean craze?

Evan, Friday, 5 May 2017 19:38 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Sitting on another set of lawn chairs was Craig, a civil engineer who’d spent the morning perfecting a spill-proof beer bong. The only thing more sculpted than its arrangement of PVC pipes and valves was his body.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 8 May 2017 23:18 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Amazingly, this was not written by Bob Lefsetz.

Closing paragraph:

The hippie movement is actually a great case study in the intersection of pop music and activism. Listen to Joni Mitchell’s “Woodstock.” (Yes, she famously missed performing at the festival she wrote the definitive song about.) “We are stardust, we are golden, and we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.” Listen to Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young calling out police in the wake of the Kent State shooting in “Ohio.” Listen to Bob Dylan skewering government warmongering on “Masters of War.” 2017’s ambitious pop crop could wield this same power if they wanted. But do they?

Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Violent J (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 17 May 2017 23:18 (one week ago) Permalink

hey Katy Perry pricked her finger on a rose thorn in that one video. that's about as deep as you're gonna get these days

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 17 May 2017 23:48 (one week ago) Permalink

Before I heard you, I didn’t think it was possible for someone to front three separate bands over their career, and on top of that, release several albums as a solo artist. How could someone be that universal?

Your voice sends chills to the spine. Your words stir the wheels of thought. Your melodies invent emotions most of us never even knew existed.

Your songs have gotten me, as well as many other people, through some of the darkest, as well as some of the best times in our lives. You touched more people than you can imagine. And now you’ve hurt us.

http://www.alternativenation.net/say-hello-2-heaven-open-letter-chris-cornell/

Frozen CD, Saturday, 20 May 2017 02:20 (five days ago) Permalink

nah

mookieproof, Saturday, 20 May 2017 02:22 (five days ago) Permalink

i wrote worse than that in my journal in college. she's 21 ffs

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 20 May 2017 02:43 (five days ago) Permalink

Yeah, post denied

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 20 May 2017 12:55 (five days ago) Permalink

donald glover's pop culture streak is unprecedented....if you woke of from a coma in 2016 and have total amnesia

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 22 May 2017 17:41 (three days ago) Permalink

if you woke from a coma in 2016 and have total amnesia

Primary qualifications for being a pop culture journalist in 2017

grawlix (unperson), Monday, 22 May 2017 17:43 (three days ago) Permalink


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