OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (7 years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

alpine and scott otm throughout of course but there's something a bit sadistic about yelling "the old methods don't work, let us go boldly into the future" to people who just invested ten years diligently and intelligently trying to work by those old methods

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 28 August 2014 03:14 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

The only reason our blog regularly got 100 views a day was because my mate wrote a listicle about the Top 10 beards in rock.

radioplay vs coldhead (dog latin), Thursday, 28 August 2014 08:54 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

"Old methods"? Who the hell spent their youth thinking writing abt music ws going to earn them money?

sonic thedgehod (albvivertine), Thursday, 28 August 2014 09:26 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

there's something a bit sadistic about yelling "the old methods don't work, let us go boldly into the future" to people who just invested ten years diligently and intelligently trying to work by those old methods

its more sadistic to tell them the old methods do work when they patently don't. scott otm, on doing your own thing but also about this thread having bad mojo. i regularly unfollow because it gets me down but every new clusterfuck draws me back. but fuck it, of course there's terrible writing out there. but better to spend time focusing on the good, or doing your own.

you couldn't even wear a fedora if your lifes depended on it (stevie), Thursday, 28 August 2014 09:47 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

"Old methods"? Who the hell spent their youth thinking writing abt music ws going to earn them money?

― sonic thedgehod (albvivertine), Thursday, August 28, 2014 5:26 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bozack horseman (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 28 August 2014 14:36 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

:,(

maura, Thursday, 28 August 2014 15:29 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

the old ways

j., Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:23 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

"the old methods" = getting an internship/freelance gig at a major publication, struggling and honing your craft while publishing wherever you can, getting a staff position at that publication.
It was hardly a failsafe or a given that process could or world work but the presumption was that if you had the talent and diligence and put in the time, you could find a living wage if you were one of the hard-working and lucky ones to break through. cf to that SF job posting.

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:27 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

so normally I'd agree with the "bad mojo" stuff (even if it does veer perilously close to "just get a job making 94K and bennies!") and try to limit myself to the most abhorrent, mean-spirited and/or gross of the worst.

in that spirit, this is just a blurb but somehow condenses so much into three sentences:

http://seattlish.com/post/96123357756/erm-the-weeklys-bumbershoot-preview-for-la-luz-is

katherine, Saturday, 30 August 2014 18:20 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

It reads like he reverse-engineered the blurb from the Stooges reference

Herbie Handcock (Murgatroid), Saturday, 30 August 2014 22:18 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2014/09/jazz-after-politics/

Argh, fuck this fucking guy.

'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 8 September 2014 18:57 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

yeah, that was making the rounds among my jazz folks today including a few very incensed people

the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Monday, 8 September 2014 19:02 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

way way too stupid to bother being incensed about

Merdeyeux, Monday, 8 September 2014 19:07 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

"too stupid" is not something this thread is concerned about, as it has been demonstrated previously

Herbie Handcock (Murgatroid), Monday, 8 September 2014 19:09 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I find this guy persistently awful. It upsets me that he's the head of a music department at what's supposed to be a progressive college.

'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 8 September 2014 19:11 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Moyer pretty effectively slays one sacred cow implicated in this: not all improvised music is great. Yes, improvisation has produced some wonderful music, but it has also imposed plenty of tedium on audiences over the years.

The strawman of "everyone, everywhere, throughout recorded history has consistently stated that all improvised music is always great" aside, how is he even allowed access to a computer, much less employed by a college?

Also, all music is improvised, but that's another argument.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 8 September 2014 20:01 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Ugh at original article, yay at takedowns.

Good Time Charlie Don't Surf (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 8 September 2014 23:20 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

ahahaha at all this

everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 17:39 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

all this poor writing out of a dumb parody piece that only hardcore sonny rollins fans would understand anyway

the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 18:20 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

listening to miles davis' "get up with it" at a loud volume has helped me ignore these stupid jazz arguments. jazz is best when you listen to the music and avoid dumbfuck jazzheads arguing tired debates

marcos, Tuesday, 9 September 2014 18:32 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

^ yes, and this also applies to almost every other form of music.

everything, Tuesday, 9 September 2014 18:38 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

halle condescendingly underplays how truly revolutionary jazz was from a modernist standpoint, as a form of collage 1,000,000x more vital and generative than, say, cubism. however, he is right that it is like rock music now, or poetry, or the novel: an art form whose performance and appreciation is inseparable from nostalgia. it's "dead" in the sense that it's cultural moment has passed. in the present tense of listening, it can be vital and moving and everything else, but it is an activity that is neither mainstream nor underground, a museum piece. museums are great though.

love (the band) loves to love love (Treeship), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 18:40 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

museums are great though

famous instagram God (waterface), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 18:43 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

the first takedown forks linked is incredible:

This is not an argument against jazz. This is an argument against capitalism. To deny its victims pleasure, expression, and selfhood in the name of the Left is as odious as the apparatuses of the state themselves...Leftist cultural criticism becomes tedious when its practitioners claim that any artwork that does not single-handedly dismantle capitalism is thereby reactionary. It seems to me that the field should instead be characterized by a spirit of empathy and debate, two ideals epitomized by jazz. John Halle should listen closer.

love (the band) loves to love love (Treeship), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 18:50 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

paragraph 2:

Any doubts on that score can be answered with a trip to the wall of corporate sponsors of jazz in Lincoln Center, followed by a visit to Dizzy’s Coca Cola club, the center’s flagship concert hall.

yeah, this is wrong on several levels. Dizzy's is a supper club at Jazz at Lincoln Center (you're gonna want to capitalize that "J" to the same extent that you wouldn't say "Carnegie hall") that seats under 200 as opposed to the Rose Hall and the Allen Room which are the actual "concert halls" there. it's a pretty inauspicious opening when you can't even start your argument in a factually accurate fashion.

the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 18:53 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Dizzy's is a dope place to see a show

bozack horseman (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 23:29 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Best set at Dizzy's is the aftershow, afterhours thing with the other band.

Good Time Charlie Don't Surf (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 00:55 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/2771-the-eminem-show/

Just came across this old pitchfork review -- i'm fine with the casual style if there's substance behind it, but this seems pretty flimsy. Maybe if i read p4k more i'd get it, idk

chilli, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 01:21 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

you dun goofed

bozack horseman (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 01:24 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

idk. i think it was you who said that ilx is the old sow that eats her farrow.

love (the band) loves to love love (Treeship), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 01:32 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

is that review by glorious ilm saint and what?

Now you're messing with a (President Keyes), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 02:01 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

all this poor writing out of a dumb parody piece that only hardcore sonny rollins fans would understand anyway

― the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu)

my thoughts exactly. i'm glad this thread is here to document the weird chain reaction that rollins satire piece generated.

borntohula, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 02:04 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Apologies if so, i might not be in on the joke. But i don't think the homophobic stuff is really acceptable either, even for '02

chilli, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 02:40 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i did some contract work for jalc and have seen numerous shows at all the rooms; dizzy's is a great place to see a show and the aforementioned afterparty is loads of fun.

the other song about butts in the top 5 (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 03:21 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Apologies if so, i might not be in on the joke. But i don't think the homophobic stuff is really acceptable either, even for '02
--chilli

Hope you don't like Lil Wayne!

bozack horseman (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 03:30 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I don't really, but that's not relevant. When i'm listening to rap, reading messageboards etc i have a different set of expectations than when i'm reading music journalism

chilli, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 06:20 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

lol @ chilli

example (crüt), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 22:31 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

maura, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 23:25 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

This question can be a superb segue to a conversation about a genre or artist, but also I get to size up the depth of a person’s music knowledge and the quality of his or her tastes. If the friend replies “Britney Spears’ wedding to K-Fed,” I know I need to be more selective about who I spend time with.

I feel the same way about writers who make a K-Fed joke in 2014

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 23:30 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Around 30 years ago I saw my first real DJ — the scratchy-scratch kind — and began to understand what music selection and turntable talent and rocking a party was all about.

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 23:33 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Oh, so creativity is a quantitative measure.

Herbie Handcock (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 10 September 2014 23:54 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Each summer, it’s like we dive into the pool in May and never clean the water from our ears. The Song of the Summer almost always sucks (except that one summer when, miraculously, Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” beat out “Magic Stick” by 50 Cent and “Unwell” by Matchbox 20 to take the title); and yet we keep on breathlessly anticipating the Song of the Summer, as though by some miracle it will be made by Deerhunter this year.

Pro tip: Most people aren’t going to play Deerhunter at their kids’ pool party.

maura, Saturday, 13 September 2014 15:07 (1 week ago) Permalink

think you can be done for child abuse if you do

Daphnis Celesta, Saturday, 13 September 2014 15:12 (1 week ago) Permalink

I pity this "we"

da croupier, Saturday, 13 September 2014 15:33 (1 week ago) Permalink


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