OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (8 years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (8 years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (8 years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (8 years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (8 years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (8 years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (8 years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (8 years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (8 years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (8 years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (8 years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (8 years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (8 years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (8 years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (8 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (8 years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (8 years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (8 years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (8 years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (8 years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (8 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (8 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (8 years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (8 years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (8 years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (8 years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (8 years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (8 years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (8 years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (8 years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (8 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (8 years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (8 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (8 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (8 years ago) Permalink

To be fair, millennials aren't cool. If they exist. I've never met one.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 12:02 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

niels, Wednesday, 13 January 2016 13:35 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

"Nirvana rehearsed ten hours a day before recording 'Nevermind' because their house was so freezing they tried to stay away from it as much as possible."

Literally cool. Not enough modern artists are freezing.

Evan, Wednesday, 13 January 2016 15:08 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

they have those smart thermostats now

j., Wednesday, 13 January 2016 16:16 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

if only... if only Kurt could make smart DECISIONS...

Copy rights, pleasing all star wars fans, hiring professionals. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 16:19 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

brb, gonna write something for Medium

Copy rights, pleasing all star wars fans, hiring professionals. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 16:20 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Confusing Owen Pallett with Patton Oswalt is the new best thing in this thread.

impossible raver (Re-Make/Re-Model), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 16:53 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

tbf humans have a natural tendency to see pattons that aren't there

I'm melanomically challenged btw (wins), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 16:57 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

wouldn't you like to be a patton too

Copy rights, pleasing all star wars fans, hiring professionals. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 17:00 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Why Pattons?

i have measured out my life in Goffey, Coombes (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 January 2016 18:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

salthigh, Wednesday, 13 January 2016 18:08 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Not really music writing, but this Bowie tribute deserves to be here …

Roaming gang of aggressive circlepits (ithappens), Friday, 15 January 2016 10:29 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

that's fantastic

ogmor, Friday, 15 January 2016 11:02 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

wrong thread

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Friday, 15 January 2016 14:51 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

^^^

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 15 January 2016 14:57 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

things that should be clickhole articles but aren't

lettered and hapful (symsymsym), Friday, 15 January 2016 17:38 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Fighting the good fight

http://www.futuresymphony.org/why-musicians-need-philosophy/

Check Yr Scrobbles (Moodles), Sunday, 17 January 2016 05:46 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

ugh why would you link that garbage site

maura, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:01 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

the dude who it's named after is like m1l0 y1ann0p0l0u5 levels of bad

maura, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:02 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

i clicked on the top rated article on that site..... woah.... scary stuff

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:03 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

though he did accurately capture how every Bowie fan subsumed their personalities becoming mindless Hitler drones.

Golly! This is the kind of abjection that Hitler was once offered. One is tempted to say that they are the words of natural, or at least willing, slaves who seek to dissolve their selves and forego their will for that of some other person.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:04 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

xp so you agree this meets the thread requirements

Copy rights, pleasing all star wars fans, hiring professionals. (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:08 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

pretty sure this is my first time seeing that garbage site btw... "cuckmercials"!

Copy rights, pleasing all star wars fans, hiring professionals. (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:10 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I have vivid memories of seeing this book cover on mid '00s trips to Waterstones, some kind of masterpiece of 'society is in the gutter' self-parody

soref, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:17 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

i mean i just think that we should completely ignore the gross right-wing grime-lickers of the world, even when looking for stuff that is Bad

maura, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:37 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

they thrive on their #trollgaze shitty opinions eventually luring in disaffected members of the Privileged Class

maura, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:38 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

it's a play on online hashtag-irony that works in a horrifying way

maura, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:39 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Yeah, people who disagree with Us politically should definitely be ignored. That's never backfired.

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:44 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

no, that's not what i'm saying. there's a certain strain of discourse that codes as right wing right now, but that exists mainly to fuck shit up. it's apolitical if anything; its only aims are to elevate the profiles of its figureheads, who cultivate cults of personality made up of the easily charmed. but a closer look reveals that its arguments are incoherent, its convictions based in little more than sticking wet fingers into the air.

maura, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:50 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

engagement with them is futile because they exist to exhaust their opposition with bad-faith debates and siccing their hordes on people.

maura, Sunday, 17 January 2016 21:52 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

these men are nihilists

j., Sunday, 17 January 2016 22:03 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

say what you want about clickbait, at least it's an ethos

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 17 January 2016 22:21 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Mark it a zero, Smokey.

Blackstar Linus Must Change (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 17 January 2016 22:29 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

no, that's not what i'm saying. there's a certain strain of discourse that codes as right wing right now, but that exists mainly to fuck shit up. it's apolitical if anything; its only aims are to elevate the profiles of its figureheads, who cultivate cults of personality made up of the easily charmed. but a closer look reveals that its arguments are incoherent, its convictions based in little more than sticking wet fingers into the air.

people should have to get this post tattooed on the backs of their hands to stop them from sharing this shit on FB. it's just garbage of no consequence. instead my social justice friends write thinkpieces about "don't tell me not to respond to this inconsequential garbage that moves no needles anywhere and would get no traction outside of its own cesspool if I weren't inflating it with helium"

tremendous crime wave and killing wave (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Sunday, 17 January 2016 22:37 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

but this sort of thing does get traction. as many people hate-share this shit they're usually a drop in the bucket compared to those who earnestly share it

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 17 January 2016 23:15 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

awareness is a Good Thing, but actually attempting to argue with populist fascists doesn't ever seem to be an effective strategy.

diana krallice (rushomancy), Sunday, 17 January 2016 23:59 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

that site is not even breitbart level trash. its essentially one step away from an actual nazi site, the difference being that these ppl think skinheads are too low class or some shit

Option ARMs and de Man (s.clover), Monday, 18 January 2016 01:40 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

For a while I would get "Taki" and "Tavi" mixed up in my head, which would always be funny when I'd land on something there

♫ as we get older and stop making threads ♫ (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 18 January 2016 03:50 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I am a grown up adult man and I believe the fact that I don't like a particular musician who died is worthy of a published article.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 18 January 2016 04:02 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

So grown and adult, way too grown and adult for David Bowie who I haven't really tried but I know I don't like.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 18 January 2016 04:09 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

taki I-can't-be-bothered-to-spell-his-name-right is a loathsome, proudly racist aristocrat who most "respectable" conservatives shunned after I think the late 80s. Pat Buchanan stuck by him, probly because Taki dislikes Israel i.e. Jews. Russ Smith, the troglodytic editor/owner of the NY Press (who was too cowardly to put his own name on his Mugger column, but you could say the same about me) gave Taki a semi regular insert in the press, and he would present not only his demented views but that of many of his lunatic fellow travelers. that was probly a nascent version of the site mentioned above.

veronica moser, Monday, 18 January 2016 04:17 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Steve Sutherland on David Bowie

nate woolls, Saturday, 23 January 2016 10:55 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Now, knowing his reputation as a magpie, scarfing up other people’s ideas, sprinkling some fairy dust on them and then successfully representing them as his own, I figured Dave might benefit from an earful of some new stuff, so duly made him a cassette.

The tracklisting went something like Lush, Moose, Chapterhouse, Adorable , Slowdive, The Jesus and Mary Chain, My Bloody Valentine, Telescopes, Ride — a veritable who’s who of shoegazers making a name for themselves at the time and a line-up I felt sure would top-up Dave’s creative juices.

Just goes to show how wrong you can be! A few weeks after I sent him said tape, I received a very nicely wrapped package which contained a small broken-up jigsaw of Michelangelo’s David. When the pieces were all put in place, there was a message handwritten on the back in, if I recall correctly, green ink, the gist of which went something like, “Thanks for the lovely tape. Not really my cup of tea. Try this instead.” The “this” was a cassette tape of Different Trains, an interminable modern classical piece by avant-garde composer Steve Reich performed by the dreaded Kronos Quartet. Shudder.

solid win for Bowie there

Jute Gazte (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 23 January 2016 11:02 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

haha seriously

white privilege 2: the legend of clumsy scold (wins), Saturday, 23 January 2016 11:04 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Adorable.

Doran, Saturday, 23 January 2016 11:15 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

came here to post this but expected to have been gazumped

Skaciety (pronounced the way you'd pronounce society) (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 23 January 2016 11:26 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i am going to be using the phrase "the dreaded Kronos Quartet" for a long while i suspect

Jute Gazte (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 23 January 2016 14:55 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

we've got nine months to prepare our group halloween costume

lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 23 January 2016 15:18 (2 weeks ago) Permalink


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