OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

From this week's R&R (Reviewed & Rated) section of Exeter University Guild Of Students' magnificent student paper, Exeposé...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (7 years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

To be fair it could have been worded that way to be a joke.

Evan, Monday, 20 October 2014 14:59 (6 days ago) Permalink

could we really just not do this

ILOVEMASONNA (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:05 (6 days ago) Permalink

It's not that hard to imagine a time like that

i blow goat farts, aka garts for a living (waterface), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:09 (6 days ago) Permalink

A lot of discussion of this article already on the Millennials Ask Old-Timers thread

you walk on the street, grab the rock (President Keyes), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:22 (6 days ago) Permalink

?

Shepard Toney Album (dog latin), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:27 (6 days ago) Permalink

Really it was just this line:

The tightly syncopated rhythmical assault is in a lot of ways analogous to carnival or marching musical forms such as soca, New Orleans second-line drumming, dancehall and calypso.

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:36 (6 days ago) Permalink

otherwise the writing is fine

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:36 (6 days ago) Permalink

so it may not be the worst piece of music writing in the history of the world is what you're saying

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:37 (6 days ago) Permalink

Is that a terrible line?

Seems like a very useful article.

Wristy Hurlington (ShariVari), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:38 (6 days ago) Permalink

IDK it seemed pretty o_O to me -- like what does it have in common with those styles of music other than being syncopated and not by white people?

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 20 October 2014 15:45 (6 days ago) Permalink

they all use a marching-style pattern

Shepard Toney Album (dog latin), Monday, 20 October 2014 21:40 (6 days ago) Permalink

YES! I've arrived…

Doran, Monday, 20 October 2014 22:43 (6 days ago) Permalink

resonances??

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:59 (5 days ago) Permalink

pretty sure resonances is 100% not a word

i mean i'm not sure what we should be expecting from like, artistdirect, but even so woooooooooowwwww.

slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 16:22 (5 days ago) Permalink

He must have meant 'resonations'. A literal symphony of them.

And I had no idea artistdirect was still a thing

leprous mottlings of disturbing funghi (ultros ultros-ghali), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 16:23 (5 days ago) Permalink

resonances is definitely a word

I can't make my waterface turn into a *fart* (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 16:54 (5 days ago) Permalink

checked, it is indeed, but it still sounds mad ridiculous in plural form and is unnecessary in the context of that review

slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 17:22 (5 days ago) Permalink

I agree. It is a widely used word in my field, so it doesn't sound weird anymore. 'A symphony of resonances' is terribly lol, though, and I plan to use it if I ever come across some bad glass.

I can't make my waterface turn into a *fart* (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 17:27 (5 days ago) Permalink

Hahahahahahahaha!

I mean credit to the New York Times there -- after the Dan Brooks thing, they realized that if you're going to troll, leave it to a total fucking pro.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 11:52 (4 days ago) Permalink

a gathering of bare-armed, bare-legged lovers of song and smokers of pot

Frank Bruni received money to write this.

While recording devices have liberated many of us from commercials on television, the rest of our lives are awash in ads. They’re now nestled among the trailers at movies. They flicker on the screens in taxis.

Cause, meet effect!

They’re woven so thoroughly into sporting events, from Nascar races to basketball games, that it’s hard to imagine an era when they weren’t omnipresent. But in a story earlier this year on the website Consumerist, Chris Moran reported that 20 years ago, only one of the major-league baseball stadiums had a corporate moniker, Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

"Hi dere, I have never heard of Wrigley Field (built in 1914)!"

bippity bup at the hotel california (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 12:45 (4 days ago) Permalink

He's a talented man.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 13:36 (4 days ago) Permalink

maybe he only watches the World Series?

I can't make my waterface turn into a *fart* (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 13:59 (4 days ago) Permalink

“Keep Austin Weird” is the Texas capital’s unofficial slogan, a clue to its proudly subversive soul.

can we talk about how Austin is really not weird, like, at all?

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 14:39 (4 days ago) Permalink

i feel like it got some rep because it was in texas and slightly more "quirky" than dallas

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 14:39 (4 days ago) Permalink

I'm a super dilettante when it comes to Texas but for what it's worth, I found Houston to be a LOT weirder than Austin. Or a lot more bohemian, arty and exciting at least.

Doran, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 16:32 (4 days ago) Permalink

Austin is weird gone mainstream, so isn't actually that weird anymore. From my experience the past few years Houston and Dallas weird are still out on the fringes so lack that homogenizing factor.

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 16:50 (4 days ago) Permalink

austin has livenationed up, totes

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 16:53 (4 days ago) Permalink

Keep Austin Weird, brought to you by Doritos.

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 16:54 (4 days ago) Permalink

Performing “Summertime Sadness,” Lana Del Rey told a lover to “kiss me hard before you go.” Would she be texting him later with a Samsung Galaxy, the smartphone for which the stage on which she appeared was visibly named?

What hope do antisystemic movements have if LDR has deserted us?

one way street, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 17:00 (4 days ago) Permalink

oops I mean Gioia

polyphonic, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:20 (4 days ago) Permalink

enraging

example (crüt), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:22 (4 days ago) Permalink

this is a much better candidate than most stuff that gets posted in here

ogmor, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:25 (4 days ago) Permalink

Soca

Reggaeton

ILOVEMASONNA (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:31 (4 days ago) Permalink

Soca

poor meghan trainor

example (crüt), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:32 (4 days ago) Permalink

this isn't even a new study, this shit resurfaces every year or so

katherine, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:39 (4 days ago) Permalink

If they're so smart why do they listen to radiohead

*clink*

龜✊ (wins), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 22:43 (4 days ago) Permalink

wordsandideasthatmakeyoudumb.virgil.gr

everybody loves lana del raymond (s.clover), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 23:35 (4 days ago) Permalink

that chart was worthwhile for me just for making it clear that jazz is dumb

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 23:38 (4 days ago) Permalink

http://musicthatmakesyoudumb.virgil.gr/musicdetails.php?music=Beethoven

i think what this suggests is that students at elite schools are cornball conformists just like every other batch of students, they just have learned to say the name of THE MOST FAVED COMPOSER IN ALL OF CLASSICAL MUSIC alongside their otherwise typically normal tastes as a way of signalling their aspirations to appreciate, or belong to, some kind of more refined coterie than the one they actually live in, which mostly listens to… U2, jack johnson, and the beatles lol

j., Thursday, 23 October 2014 00:10 (3 days ago) Permalink

any study that says "dumb people listen to jazz, smart people listen to red hot chili peppers'....man idk

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 23 October 2014 00:12 (3 days ago) Permalink

those poor kids w/a 1316 have spent so long studying they have no time for any music and they still can't crack 1400

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 23 October 2014 00:13 (3 days ago) Permalink

every music study sucks

maura, Thursday, 23 October 2014 04:03 (3 days ago) Permalink

like, just blow it all up and start over

maura, Thursday, 23 October 2014 04:04 (3 days ago) Permalink

Rip it up and start again, I'd say.

Thus We Frustrate Kid Charlemagne (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 23 October 2014 04:11 (3 days ago) Permalink

Friend on fb just posited the theory that Counting Crows ranked so high in this because people with high SAT scores like counting.

how's life, Friday, 24 October 2014 11:42 (2 days ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.