most wtf metal band w/ "Anal" in the title - a short POLL

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had been noticing there was a plethora of grind bands over the years w/ Anal in the moniker, all of them downright silly. Found these from metal-archives.com (thank u for your service). I picked the most ridiculous. u are voting for the most ridiculous/wtf one. None of these are good.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Destructive Explosion of Anal Garland (a.k.a. D.E.A.G.) Grindcore/Death Metal Czech Republic 11
Anal Vaginatör Black/Thrash Metal Poland 6
Anal Depression Black Metal Germany 5
Hot Buttered Anal (a.k.a. H.B.A.) Thrash Metal/Crossover United States 4
Anal Slave of Satan (a.k.a. A.S.S., ASS) Thrash/Death Metal Italy 3
Anal Desecrating Penis Mutilation Death Metal/Grindcore Finland 2
Other (stfu) 2
Anal Penis Death Metal/Grindcore Germany 2
Anal Exorcism Death Metal United States 1
Anal Dissected Angel Death Metal/Grindcore Bulgaria 1
Anal Squirt Massacre (a.k.a. AxSxM, A.S.M.) Goregrind Netherlands 1
Anal Spewicide Death Metal/Grindcore Canada 0
Anal Destructor Thrash Metal Chile 0
The Anal Treatment XXXperience Death Metal/Grindcore Greece 0
Anal Kudasai Brutal Death Metal/Goregrind Russia 0
Anal Ninja Brutal Death Metal/Grindcore Japan 0
Anal Vomit Black/Death/Thrash Metal Peru 0
Anal Sphincterotomy Brutal Death Metal/Goregrind United States 0
Anal Cockroach Death Metal United States 0


Neanderthal, Saturday, 19 August 2017 19:30 (six years ago) link

Destructive Explosion of Anal Garland

Worst Christmas ever.

Hideous Lump, Saturday, 19 August 2017 19:54 (six years ago) link

sorry, I voted for the most real sounding, Anal Depression - not necessarily the most wtf tbh imo

StanM, Saturday, 19 August 2017 20:03 (six years ago) link

Anal Squirt Massacre (a.k.a. AxSxM, A.S.M.) because I'm curious about how that would play out. Like, is it a massacre BY anal squirting (and how exactly would that work) or a massacre OF anal squirters?

the general theme of STUFF (cryptosicko), Saturday, 19 August 2017 21:16 (six years ago) link

I mean, if it is the former, I suppose that the squirter could be firing some sort of highly toxic substance at the victim, but a) this seems like a really ineffective means of killing ONE person, never mind an entire massacre, and b) said substance would surely kill the squirter long before they had a chance to utilize the anally-squirted poison as a weapon.

the general theme of STUFF (cryptosicko), Saturday, 19 August 2017 21:27 (six years ago) link

Went with "Anal Slave of Satan (a.k.a. A.S.S., ASS)" because it's the most cartoonish.

he doesn't need to be racist about it though. (Austin), Saturday, 19 August 2017 22:27 (six years ago) link

Anaal Nathrakh!

Loud guitars shit all over "Bette Davis Eyes" (NYCNative), Saturday, 19 August 2017 22:41 (six years ago) link

Even though it's called Rectal Anarchy, I can't help but think this album cover belongs in this thread.

https://img.discogs.com/zV110HtBwSO9WKYv0NgGBWjB-u8=/fit-in/599x600/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(90)/discogs-images/R-117527-1201393137.jpeg.jpg

grawlix (unperson), Saturday, 19 August 2017 22:52 (six years ago) link

The answer is obviously Anal Vaginatör. None of the other band names have diacritical marks, which is like -250 points in my book.

Tone-Locrian (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 19 August 2017 22:59 (six years ago) link

both Anal Blasphemy (not represented here) and Anal Vomit are really good bands. Voted for "other" because Anal Blasphemy seriously kick ass nb in addition to their anti-Christian stuff they do anti-Islam stuff which in the present political climate feels gross as hell but coming from them feels like they're trying to prove they aren't narrow-minded about which blasphemies get the anal treatment

she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Saturday, 19 August 2017 23:17 (six years ago) link

I've oft wondered how one blasphemes anally.

The Man Who Saw The Midwife (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 19 August 2017 23:57 (six years ago) link

(Had to go with the explosive garland, for the record.)

The Man Who Saw The Midwife (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 19 August 2017 23:59 (six years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Sunday, 20 August 2017 00:01 (six years ago) link

good poll

anal depression

marcos, Sunday, 20 August 2017 00:46 (six years ago) link

anal depression, cuz that just is a loaded name if i've seen one

Week of Wonders (Ross), Sunday, 20 August 2017 01:17 (six years ago) link

Lol Joanie i like Anal Vomit too. But i can't talk to people about them cos...Anal Vomit

Neanderthal, Sunday, 20 August 2017 01:40 (six years ago) link

going for anal exorcism bc it sounds cool and gross, gonna check them out now

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Sunday, 20 August 2017 01:46 (six years ago) link

anal exorcism is a good choice too

marcos, Sunday, 20 August 2017 03:09 (six years ago) link

this is colloquially known as "the runs"

Neanderthal, Sunday, 20 August 2017 04:24 (six years ago) link

I was gonna add Anal Blast to the list until I realized I was getting them mixed up with Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles. Now that I've refreshed my memory, Anal Blast are godawful with titles/lyrics even worse than a certain other "Anal ____" band not on this list, and DD and the TTs aren't far behind.

I'm only mentioning that so I can post this:


In early 2011 the band's 4th album "A Vulgar Display Of Obscurity" was released to rave reviews [6] on Slinging Pig records and went on to sell a negative number of copies.[7]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Delicious_and_The_Tasty_Testicles

Anal Vomit does rule, however.

Devilock, Sunday, 20 August 2017 05:33 (six years ago) link

Hot Buttered Anal tho wtf

davey, Sunday, 20 August 2017 08:13 (six years ago) link

Having my breakfast here...

Mark G, Sunday, 20 August 2017 08:34 (six years ago) link

Voted Anal Depression, sounds like suicidal black metal + anus, which I can't really fathom

Anal Squirt Massacre = mass food poisoning?

airdnb (Tom Violence), Sunday, 20 August 2017 15:19 (six years ago) link

Voted Anal Depression, sounds like suicidal black metal + anus, which I can't really fathom

maybe you need a longer sounding line?

the old rugged crocs (unregistered), Sunday, 20 August 2017 15:32 (six years ago) link

Anal Slave of Satan (a.k.a. A.S.S., ASS)

I like how the contrived acronym is so much milder than the full name.

jmm, Sunday, 20 August 2017 15:36 (six years ago) link

Aren't they always? (e.g. "A.C.")

Mark G, Sunday, 20 August 2017 19:55 (six years ago) link

Oh yeah, clearly "You Missed One"...

Mark G, Sunday, 20 August 2017 19:56 (six years ago) link

Deliberately left them out. Wanted this strictly low level bands!

Neanderthal, Sunday, 20 August 2017 20:49 (six years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Monday, 21 August 2017 00:01 (six years ago) link

OTM

Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 21 August 2017 00:02 (six years ago) link

Missed the best - Black Anal Goat Vomit (raw bm from Australia)

Yelploaf, Monday, 21 August 2017 00:58 (six years ago) link

two years pass...

Anal Blast are actually kinda funny.

But what is an Anal Blast

papa stank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 19 January 2020 01:12 (four years ago) link

a toot

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 19 January 2020 01:13 (four years ago) link

Blast implies more than a toot

papa stank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 19 January 2020 01:15 (four years ago) link

Like if I tell the host of a party "I just anal blasted" i feel like their expectations might be much worse

papa stank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 19 January 2020 01:16 (four years ago) link

it's metal so everyone's a little hyperbolic

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 19 January 2020 02:25 (four years ago) link

I saw Anal Blast live once, at a fest on the Asbury Park boardwalk. They were...unmemorable, but I do have the feeling one member mooned the audience at one point.

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Sunday, 19 January 2020 02:50 (four years ago) link

It was probably Don

papa stank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 19 January 2020 03:14 (four years ago) link

Hot Buttered Anal (a.k.a. H.B.A.)

I think they missed making an Isaac Hayes reference by not naming their band Hot Buttered Asshole.

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 19 January 2020 09:00 (four years ago) link

No Anal Anus? smh

pomenitul, Sunday, 19 January 2020 09:24 (four years ago) link

The Aesthetics and Psychology of Gaping Anal
(less metal more vaporwave?)

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 19 January 2020 14:58 (four years ago) link

two years pass...

from metal-archives.com, some other worthy honorable mentions:

Anal Ass
Anal Death
Anal Getaway
Anal Stabwound (a legit great one-person band, a teenager at that!)
Anal Teeth
Gargling Anal Fungus
Morbid Anal Fog
An-Al Gore (lol politics)
Secret Anal Terrorist

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 28 December 2022 04:37 (one year ago) link

Bumbum Ass
Booty Death
Bunghole Getaway
Keister Stabwound
Bum Teeth
Gargling Bum Fungus
Morbid Bum Fog
Buttocks-Al Gore
Secret Bum Terrorist

m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Wednesday, 28 December 2022 05:13 (one year ago) link

Anal Ass

Clearly the Mr Mister of this genre

Master of Treacle, Wednesday, 28 December 2022 05:46 (one year ago) link

Kyrie Eleison
through the polyps in my butthole

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 28 December 2022 05:51 (one year ago) link

I've oft wondered how one blasphemes anally.

― The Man Who Saw The Midwife (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, August 19, 2017 7:57 PM (five years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Just use a little imagination.

The field divisions are fastened with felicitations. (Deflatormouse), Wednesday, 28 December 2022 16:34 (one year ago) link

2022: the year a band called Anal Stabwound made it not only into The Wire (I reviewed a streaming metal festival, he was a highlight) but onto Spin's Best Metal of 2022 list.

but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 28 December 2022 17:15 (one year ago) link

I don't know the backstory but I just remembered the ongoing Cradle of Filth thing with Anal Blast. They titled their debut Vaginal Vempire and according to metal-archives, booked CoF's first U.S. show.

https://i.imgur.com/mfo95ZQ.jpg

Devilock, Wednesday, 28 December 2022 19:41 (one year ago) link


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