This is the inevitable thread for ILxors in their forties

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Yes, I know, creeping balkanisation etc. but why should we be left out?

But please leave cheeky Ovaltines at the door.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 13:35 (twelve years ago) link

What do we do?

Dr.C, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:03 (twelve years ago) link

You tell us, you're the role models for those of us in our thirties, y'see.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:04 (twelve years ago) link

My vision has gone 'bifocalish', ie I gotta take the glasses off to read.

Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:05 (twelve years ago) link

left out we certainly be should not.

t**t, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:10 (twelve years ago) link

Ah, the Iain Sinclair "serendipitous random art collage" problem (xp).

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:11 (twelve years ago) link

I wish I could afford a midlife crisis -- I'd sure have one.

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:17 (twelve years ago) link

Wait, what were we talking about again? I must have dozed off.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:18 (twelve years ago) link

Btw, Rock, that just means you'll have to live longer.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:20 (twelve years ago) link

The nights are fair drawing in.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:20 (twelve years ago) link

My toes hurt -- do yours? I think it must be this weather.

Brad C., Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:21 (twelve years ago) link

Shit, Michael, with my genes I'm doomed to 95 years at least.

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:22 (twelve years ago) link

I blame it on so-called asylum seeking feral politically correct Broken Britain.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:22 (twelve years ago) link

(the weather, that is)

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:23 (twelve years ago) link

That monologue with Rhys Ifans last night.

What was all that about?

Eh?

Eh?

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:23 (twelve years ago) link

I can't stop feeling all \o_O/ seeing twentysomething girls wearing essentially the same fashions that girls wore when I was twenty.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:28 (twelve years ago) link

Actually more like when I was fifteen.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:29 (twelve years ago) link

Haven't exactly been bombarded by deelyboppers and pop socks around these parts.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:30 (twelve years ago) link

Shoreham - liminal, but copper messy.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:34 (twelve years ago) link

One upside: being a dirty old man sort of suits me.

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:35 (twelve years ago) link

I had my midlife crisis from the ages of approx 15-42 so I reckon I'm due uncomplicated happiness now.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:36 (twelve years ago) link

This thread is so much like me at an FAP that it's spooking me out.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:37 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, I'm drinking here at work, too.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:38 (twelve years ago) link

One upside: being a dirty old man sort of suits me. -- Rock Hardy

As per suits, I don't think I've got any I fit into anymore.
On the, er, thinner side: I amn't that dirty really.

t**t, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:40 (twelve years ago) link

Just don't recognise anything in this thread. Including the posts I posted so that suggests it was probably a crap idea. Oh well, it was worth a momentary try.

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:41 (twelve years ago) link

Please to God never let me actually become a "fortysomething."

Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:42 (twelve years ago) link

One upside: being a dirty old man sort of suits me.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:48 (twelve years ago) link

What are the characteristics of a fortysomething? (I bet I have most of them).

Dr.C, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:52 (twelve years ago) link

I can legally have an affair with someone half my age!

so, is anyone on for it?

The Real Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:02 (twelve years ago) link

thread is otm, though now I can also see how it mightn't be otm, and would not be surprised to find myself arguing either side of the question for fifteen minutes or so before getting completely distracted by some other stray thought

J0hn D., Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:35 (twelve years ago) link

They say memory is the second thing to go. I can't remember the first one.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:36 (twelve years ago) link

My drug of choice these days is Back and Body aspirin, for that extra frisson of caffeine.

Jaq, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:39 (twelve years ago) link

Memory is going, true, but at least I remember the 70s

Brad C., Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:47 (twelve years ago) link

Memory is going, true, but at least I have begun forgetting the 70's.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 16:54 (twelve years ago) link

hi.

um, I'm OK.

Mark G, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:43 (twelve years ago) link

What are the characteristics of a fortysomething?

Being aged between 40 and 49. Anyway I though we were all 'middle youths' nowadays.

Billy Dods, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:46 (twelve years ago) link

sorry to have woken you oldtimers up . but. I misread Marcello's OP as

Yes, I know, creeping balkanisation etc. but why should we be left out?

But please leave cheeky Ovaries at the door.

-- Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, August 27, 2008 2:35 PM (7 hours ago)

Thomas, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:47 (twelve years ago) link

I'll have you know my ovaries are extremely well-behaved; veritable paragons of polite ovarian society.

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:49 (twelve years ago) link

The ovaries are fine, but I'm prone to brain farts now.

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

The world's worst song.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 20:54 (twelve years ago) link

Comparing your ovary to a Bronte C/D?

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:09 (twelve years ago) link

Wuthering Ovaries

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

Thrustcrotch Minge

Michael White, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:14 (twelve years ago) link

Carry On Bronteing

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:21 (twelve years ago) link

One upside: being a dirty old man sort of suits me.

-- Rock Hardy

^^^

moley, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:31 (twelve years ago) link

haven't you all heard - us 40+'rs are saving the music industry.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/stevelamacq/2008/08/to_bb_or_not_to_bb.html

mark e, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:39 (twelve years ago) link

Come on - you're not too old to have forgotten this thread already...
I am too old for this...the 40 plus thread.

Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 21:44 (twelve years ago) link

Don't even remember that thread but this one could do with a few more ovaries...

Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 August 2008 08:53 (twelve years ago) link

two years pass...

my right knee

already president FYI (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 19:33 (nine years ago) link

wait, is your right knee also my right knee. Because - my right knee.

The New Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 19:51 (nine years ago) link

dang was that a decade ago? times move.
we should def do an east coast NYC thing in the summer/fall once widespread vaccination is a real thing.

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:02 (five days ago) link

pop culture is stupid and talking about it is for absolute idiots

Well yeah, but so is arguing about old Miles Davis records, so.

Idiots r us

illumi-naughty (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 22 February 2021 22:10 (five days ago) link

I will 100% be in a old person goth band with you, Sarah, but we will have to work pretty hard to be older than the Alter De Fey dudes.

kurt schwitterz, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:26 (five days ago) link

hahahahaha we could enlist Eth@n.

sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:30 (five days ago) link

lol ... totally unnecessary googleproofing ... as there are lots of dudes named Ethan and our Ethan doesn't read ilx, and is on my list of "friends i love dearly who would be horrible ilxors"

sarahell, Monday, 22 February 2021 22:31 (five days ago) link

I'm turning 50 next year! Forties have been pretty good, other than this last year, which actually ended up not that bad either. We got a new bigger house, and we're about to get a dog, which is exciting. Working for a big tech company means I don't worry much about money these days, which is, I have to say, a HUGE weight lifted. On the physical side, my knees hurt all the time, and it's been a huge bummer not being able to swim for exercise. I got shingles a few weeks ago, which seems ahead-of-schedule, but ended up being very mild. I'm still making lots music (music with the band, making dance music, DJing, jamming on Endlesss), and the new house means I have a space to do so. I watch a ton of TV these days too, and have been getting into DJs on Twitch on the weekends. I try not to think about the looming deaths ahead too much. I assume I'll slowly adjust to the reality of my 50s and 60s as I did to my 40s.

DJI, Monday, 22 February 2021 23:11 (five days ago) link

I keep looking at all of the celebrity deaths where the celebrities in question were younger than my parents and cringing

Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:14 (four days ago) link

You don’t have to be in your 40s for that head trip tbh

Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:17 (four days ago) link

(My parents are around 70 and in excellent health but sheesh.)

Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:18 (four days ago) link

(Sheesh at life not DJP)

Canon in Deez (silby), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 02:18 (four days ago) link

I keep looking at all of the celebrity deaths where the celebrities in question were younger than my parents and cringing

Significant aging benchmarks for a sports fan are when you are older than the oldest players retiring and now older than many coaches being hired.

Rocky Thee Stallion (PBKR), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 12:54 (four days ago) link

Tom Brady is younger than me.

Super Bowl Sunday, we were all "Well, damn. Brett Favre must've been like 47 when he retired."

Nope. That old goat was 41 when he played his last game.

pplains, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 13:29 (four days ago) link

I am forty. My sadness at this age is regret for the time I wasted on a stupid career (screenwriting) that fed my ego but not soul, and how my ambition in that career meant that I didn’t properly celebrate my successes.The joy of this age is finding little domestic pleasures everywhere, which sum up to something like contentment.

america's favorite (remy bean), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 13:32 (four days ago) link

I know the next decade will be tough, as my older relatives die off. However, as I am watching work them through chronic illnesses now, I recognize that death is not the incomprehensible, total loss that I once thought it would be.

america's favorite (remy bean), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 13:34 (four days ago) link

I keep looking at all of the celebrity deaths where the celebrities in question were younger than my parents and cringing

is it weird that one of the biggest reasons I've aspired to a successful long-term romantic relationship is so I wouldn't be alone when my parents die?

lukas, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:10 (three days ago) link

if it's weird, I am weird with you.

sarahell, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:36 (three days ago) link

right? I'm going to need someone to cope with the wreck that I'll be.

lukas, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:40 (three days ago) link

I'm an only child so it's like .... worse? I do have a cousin that I'm close to though.

sarahell, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:42 (three days ago) link

Both of my wife's parents are dead, and so is my dad. It was rougher when it was her folks (I didn't like my dad and he didn't like me). Especially her mom, who died of stomach cancer when my wife was in her early thirties, way too young to be losing a parent. Her dad lived another decade or so, then died of a whole bunch of things — emphysema, stomach problems, pancreatitis/diabetes, just kind of total bodily collapse over the course of several months. It was ugly and prolonged. My dad was a diabetic, and one day he suffered bleeding on his brain and went into a coma he never came out of. My stepmother pulled the plug on him on Valentine's Day, and I've never been sure whether that was a gesture of kindness or a fuck-you. (I haven't spoken to her since his death.)

but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:44 (three days ago) link

My father died in 2008 after a month in hospital, my mother in 2019 after more than a decade with on-and-off lymphoma.
I worried a lot beforehand about their deaths, as a kid, as a teen, as an adult. Actually going through the experience is different than the fear of it, though. I found that dealing with the particulars of the situation is easier than fearing the unknown.
Also, as I mentioned above, it will give different perspectives to your own life.

Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:20 (two days ago) link

the one takeaway from caring for my mother after a near fatal stroke: have your finances in order. i'm not going to say dealing with the financial mess she had going on was as upsetting as the stroke itself. but it was close.

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:28 (two days ago) link

if it's weird, I am weird with you

co-sign, whatever old age is I really would not like to face it alone, especially after this past year

fbclid=fhAZ3l (f. hazel), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:39 (two days ago) link

I am ineligible for this thread but have perspective on sick/dying parents, i like remys takeaway and some of what halfway there but for you's experience chimes with my own in re the particulars carrying you along

e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:53 (two days ago) link

Morbid to suggest a thread hey :/

e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 February 2021 01:54 (two days ago) link

Tehre is an "ageing parents" thread somewhere.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 25 February 2021 04:43 (two days ago) link

xp That's horrible, and I'm so sorry to hear it! This is a huge topic I'm always up to discuss. I'm having minimal symptoms/side effects but I'm also only mid-way through. If there's enough interest, should we start a thread?

― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:06 (three days ago)

would totally join this thread if it exists

colette, Thursday, 25 February 2021 10:14 (two days ago) link

fyi colette: There Will Not Be Blood: What Menopause Means to You

ledge, Thursday, 25 February 2021 10:18 (two days ago) link

thanks ledge, I missed that!

colette, Thursday, 25 February 2021 14:47 (two days ago) link

This, then, can remain the male menopause thread.

Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 25 February 2021 15:48 (two days ago) link

Porter geezer men o pause

e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 February 2021 16:02 (two days ago) link

cholesterol was 252. got put on crestor temporarily.

weirdly, the LDL number was only 125, but I guess stuff like VLDL bumped the non-HDL number significantly higher.

I'm also heavier than I've ever been (217 pounds). I weighed 135 when I graduated high school, and I'm 6'0.

guess it's time to lay off the chips and cookies.

Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Thursday, 25 February 2021 17:56 (two days ago) link

I have similar body (and wallet woes) of late.

Two visits. First, thanks to a heavily blocked right ear that refused to clear despite roughly four gallons of olive oil, to an audiologist who cleared it and charged me £95 for the bother. Second, to the optician, after some fatigue and headaches in the last month, to find out my prescription has changed markedly, I need varifocals and that'll be £365 for the two pairs thanks very much please bend over.

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 25 February 2021 19:40 (two days ago) link

i'm not 40 yet but one of the weird ways i'm older than i should be is that i've already mourned the loss of my parents. i don't think watching them die will be sad for ne, other than bringing up old trauma and being logistically tiring. in many other ways i am still a child though.

map ca. 1890 (map), Thursday, 25 February 2021 19:59 (two days ago) link

I've worn glasses since I was 17, but having to get progressive lenses (I assume that is what varifocals are) was such a drag (not as much as not being able to read).

perhaps I myself was the object of my search (PBKR), Thursday, 25 February 2021 23:15 (two days ago) link

yyyyyeah, i'm sticking to taking my glasses off for the moment but this is a bummer

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 25 February 2021 23:36 (two days ago) link

Oddly enough -- but in a way I can live with -- my doctor said it would be simpler for me just to have more than one pair! So I have my 'regular' reading glasses for every day, computer work and so forth, but when it comes to reading books I use a separate pair.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 00:24 (yesterday) link

(And I've had glasses since I was like four or so, so this was no skin off my nose either way.)

Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 00:25 (yesterday) link

I mean its probably cumulatively an enormous pile of skin off yr nose tbf

e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Friday, 26 February 2021 00:37 (yesterday) link

Ned, I did the multiple pairs of glasses thing for a few years (one for distance,one for reading,one for computer work,one for eating) until I also got sunglasses versions of distance and reading and that was one too many to deal with. To train my eyes/brain for multifocal lenses I started with lined bifocals, then moved to progressive lenses.

Jaq, Friday, 26 February 2021 01:13 (yesterday) link

Ha, funnily enough I'm strongly considering the sunglasses route myself, just because. I think I can manage for the most part but we'll see. I also kinda like varying it up since that means having fun with multiple frames...

Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 01:26 (yesterday) link

My only glasses right now are an "office pair." Computer on the top, reading on the bottom. Took some getting used to but now I love them and cannot function without them.

display names are for n00bs (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 26 February 2021 01:32 (yesterday) link

I still don’t need glasses for anything, fear my mutant power

Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Friday, 26 February 2021 03:10 (yesterday) link

Oh so you're the guy

Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 February 2021 03:16 (yesterday) link

I need glasses to drive as of a few years ago -- but just for one eye. ... did not fancy a monocle.

sarahell, Friday, 26 February 2021 03:30 (yesterday) link

They’re due for a comeback

i mean ... maybe I could combine it with the Marlene Dietrich / weimar dapper cabaret style ... 1930s fashion is definitely on the rise

sarahell, Friday, 26 February 2021 03:37 (yesterday) link

Grandad wore a monocle, he was born in 1903 however.

Halfway there but for you, Friday, 26 February 2021 04:12 (yesterday) link

I've somehow managed to stretch a prescription from like, prior to a year ago through the last year. I think I had leftover contact lenses from prior to last year, and I keep reminding myself I need to go to the eye doctor, as my 'backup glasses' disappeared 3 years ago

Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Friday, 26 February 2021 05:15 (yesterday) link

I get motion sickness from all sorts of things (motion, mainly) so I'm assuming I'm going to feel really rough getting used to varifocals. Better than headaches, probably.

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Friday, 26 February 2021 18:35 (yesterday) link

Chinaski - I don't have that problem, but I picked mine up on a Friday afternoon and that evening was ready to take them back - going down stairs in particular was hairy - but by the end of the weekend my eyes had completely adjusted. You will be surprised how quickly and automatically your brain adjusts.

perhaps I myself was the object of my search (PBKR), Friday, 26 February 2021 18:48 (yesterday) link


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