Worst TV adverts of the moment

I also dislkie the tooth paste ad that uses MOP's 'cold as ice' and then has the slogan "cool as ice'...I always think, why use that song then? I'm very fussy.

After a night's TV viewing, I shall garnish you with more examples.

Alternately, that car ad where the teacher yaks on about how she will be there for the kids, doctors deliver babies ect... because Something Inside Is So Strong. So buy a fucking car.

The whole Shampoo = sex thing is utterly cringeworthy. The only "urge" I get during the Herbal range ad is to dive for the off button on the TV remote.

[And I wish Jason Euell HAD ran out of the stadium on Wednesday - I would have settled for 4:3]

Somebody on the best ads thread mentioned the Lupo ads, but the big flashing face that pops up every time you click on *anything* at nme.com is really, really, really, really, really, really, really annoying. Grrr!

Also, Argos.

The Virgin Mobile advert with Nicole Appleton photocopying her knickers is also rather shit but then again they have ADAM AND JOE (!!!!) on another advert so perhaps I'll have to sign up with them. I hate Vodafone. Bastards bastards bastards. Adverts are SO GREAT though, I love adverts. They are often better than the telly.

1. Argos christmas ad using Slade and the cheapest, shittest, most fucking awful bogus product montage ever. Totally moronic, makes all the goods look like the heap of crap they are - when that fucking cut- out Santa comes by on his skis it might as well be Jive Bunny. There's a real trend lately for mass-market store ads to be this low- rent and vile, probably because the ad people all want to work on high-budget drinks brands and actually lavishing any skills on an ad aimed at the proles would be *so* uncool. Or of course it might be that the focus groups saw the ad and wuvved it, grr.

2. Harry Potter computer game - "FOOTAGE NOT IN GAME" i.e. the game itself has graphics that would shame an Oric. Not in itself a terrible ad but seen five times an hour it gets wearying.

Also! "I'd rather have a bowl of caramelflavouredcocopops" and the Olly the Octopus choosing his cereal are vile, the latter because it is untrue - every child knows which are the nice cereals in a variety pack and it's simply a matter of getting to them first, it's not a dilemma at all you eight-limbed sea bastard.

As for the Nivea "you know, I might buy some" ad, you can gain some kind of succour by imaging what he's going to be getting for Christmas from all his hilarious mates...

BUT WAIT NOW THERE IS ONE FOR AMERICA WITH THAT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS HERO SONG. oh no wait it's for jeep! jeep LIBERTY, at that!

Can I just say that I think the Argos ads are totally wicked.

Then at the end of the ad there's the final insult, that annoying high pitched "life tastes good coca cola" jingle. It reminds me of those films where one corporation runs the radio stations and keeps pumping out muzak to keep people happy. it's ok everyone, LIFE TASTES GOOD!!! and you're all allowed to try it!

2 The fabric conditioner one where the people are made out of - duh - fabric. It is disturbing to look at 'people' made out of fabric, and in fact they look horribly disfigured, like burns victims or people with hypothermia.

(I really like those Argos adverts - they cool)

Blimey, isn't it usually the other way round?

Wine ads infest the London Underground system. That and ads for ten- week 'philosophy' courses.

Must. Calm. Down.

There are now two adverts where young children go into jewellers shops and buy expensive trinkets for their mothers

One of the ads described themselves as "always there for you" like they were the Samaritans or summat!

I watch a lot of itv3 daytime so half the ads are for charities but of the rest the one the jars is the folk duo on stage singing about funerals.

Yeah, they had one idea (normalise talking about funeral preparations) and took it too far

dementia as an excuse to shill your product seems popular these days. dad can remember when i bought him that chocolate he doesn't like, even if he doesn't recognise i'm his daughter. mum likes this apple pie i got the recipe off tiktok for...

it's the grim but logical conclusion of the whole "consumer products are the most meaningful aspect of your life" ethos

Oh lickle Wayne with your "Sainsbury's can you save me a few quid?" you are truly an everyday guy, you pathetic cunt

what if cleaning wasn't a chore?

what if it were jazz?

I take it that couple of folkies singing about cremation at the folk club gig is beyond comment? I mean, come back Pomplemousse all is forgiven amirite?

Oh yeah, dreadful advert.

insurance company i can't remember the name of with the admittedly adorable boxer dog - what English person uses the word "sneakers"?

most German-looking woman in the world talks about German shampoo brand with hugely German body language - that dubbed voice ain't fooling anybody, kids

dont know if ive ever seen it outside of itvx but the carmoola ad with the australian? woman saying give me the moola into a phone disturbs me greatly, not because of her but because of the non speaking actress in the car showroom whose task it is to have the stupidest open mouthed expression on her face.

itvx viewers get what they deserve...

those voiceovers are generally limited to toilet cleaner and cakes, nice to know they've branched out.

i have now seen the folky funeral ad, it is about 3x too long

taking sides:

a folk song about pre-paid cremations

a rap about ai-enabled pdf software

Age Concern that's a powerful new advert about older people faced with the choice of heating or eating, but I'm afraid I'll need full voting histories for anybody you're supporting before I decide whether this is heartbreaking or not

Sainsburies advert with gormless baldy guy who pushes a trolly into one of their. stores and says out aloud: Hey Sainsburies, the usual shop please and save me some money.

It's a national supermarket chain and doesn't give a fuck if you live or die, fool

Already done that one calz but then I found out some sad news about him and I'm still living with the guilt. Anyway I believe he may have atoned for his (admittedly serious) sins

"Just a bit"

just endured the long cut 2 mins+ version of the warburtons morgan freeman ad. atrocious and nauseating.

The Burna ads on U.S. cable playing on "stranger danger" fearmongering, where the woman is afraid to go outside because of someone she doesn't recognize, but with her Burna protection, she's enabled. Wink wink, it's a banana, because they can't show the product on TV.

Hits me as Rittenhouse "arm yourself because of ... THEM!" formless BS.

"I found out some sad news about him and I'm still living with the guilt."

what have I done here?

not your fault nor mine but i believe Wayne is no longer with us

oh right I guessed that but couldn't find anything, was using bad search terms. Well, it's very disrespectful of them to keep playing this when it is clearly annoying the fuck out of everybody. It's always a risk with an actor that the last recorded legacy of yourself that you leave in the physical world is abysmal and annoying as fuck!

Q: How many adverts is Peter Crouch in now?
A: Too many.

there's a car one on top of the three we've previously mentioned

the buffet boy advert is the worst of the recent batch. i can't even remember what it's for.

Gary Numan's weight loss regime.

i had to google to check if this airbnb advert with "Golden Slumbers" on it was the Beatles's original and apparently it is and god that's some horrible singing. more like bellowing, really.

The short version of this advert seems to be shown on every ITV evening commercial break and most YouTube pre-rolls:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1d9tvV4SZw
Someone must have been very pleased with themselves for coming up with that "gastronaut" pun but this is dire.

I've been largely watching stuff ad-free for the past several years, either streaming or recorded programmes. But a few evenings of watching Prime and I hate Uber Eats and Jude Law.

your dad walked out 8 years ago and you miss him. you decide to send him a message. and what easier way could there be than using google assistant to help you with this? so why not buy a new volvo, because they now come with google assistant?

I find the Confused.com ads where people inflate and pop at once disturbing and patronising. I can only assume negative press is the intention

I'm not sure what they're trying to say... largely because I have zero interest in what they're trying to say tbf.

very disappointed that they redubbed the Dylon ads as i was low key in love with the way she said "have you clothes lost their maaahgic"

The Ben & Jerry's ad with "in order to top it we had to bottom it" - they must know what they're doing but the voiceover is a masterclass in obliviousness, te salut

there are 3 or 4 very slightly different versions of the 'girl somewhere in asia gets sent chocolate by her sister' ad. close enough so you think you imagined the other version, every time, until you see it again. ('cadbury' instead of 'package' is one such difference)

the woman with the ugly Better Boxes. it's another of those meta-ads where they are advertising something in place of the people who actually make them. they do the same thing with chemist stuff. Must Have Ideas / Medifacts.

Oh, and verisure will now phone an ambulance for you...

press the emergency button
verisure calls you
you answer the phone and say you need an ambulance
verisure calls the ambulance

which seems like 3 steps more than necessary

they're putting urea in face cream now?

"hi. chicken?"

"Delicate, what's a delicate?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISXbNwXzR1c

(does remind me that university must be a much different experience now because people are more in touch - when i was there we had 6 very busy payphones between 650 people. had perhaps one letter a term, if that)

Gulag for everybody responsible for Hellmann's's desperate new annoyance

i hadn't even realised that car crash of an ad was for hellmans until it was just on and i remembered your post.

(it's the one in the deli with the Neil Diamond song)

It invokes powerful feelings in me that would be best not invoked

New Birdseye Fish Fingers ad is a grotesque combination of Yankification and what appears to be cheap AI

(oh, it says 'meal diamond' on his jacket)

I know. That doesn't h3lp, right?

"Picky bits" justifies disbanding the Coop and jailing the board

GTech vacuum cleaner brags that it leaves the carpet beautifully striped. Mate, I think you'm thinking of lawnmowers

I hate all ads, violently resent their presence in my life, and have coined the pejorative “advert humour” for a particular shitty joke style that has infected mainstream films. I do not laugh at ads

EXCEPT the knife crime ad that sometimes plays at the cinema, I have never not laughed at the kid going “oh my days - there is no safe place to get stabbed” (although I have never laughed as much as the first time)

I haven't seen that one, I shd go to the cinema more

Same on the violent hatred of adverts tho

currently cringing at sharipova's squeaky voice and clumsy shrug. that's somehow meant to get me to drink beer.