Worst TV adverts of the moment

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There was another thread about crap TV ads before this I think, but that was about a year ago, and there are many many new crap ads on the telly now. So let us complain about them.
  1. Bizarre thing for one of those play kitchens for kids - entire advert has two young girls demonstrating what can be done with it, only that the soundtrack has two women dubbed on it saying stuff like "Oh yes, this microwave will really make her jealous!" and "Ha ha, this superb grill will really annoy her, she doesn't have anything like that at her home!". So parents should buy this toy for their kid because it'll one-up all of their kid's poorer friends?
  2. Despicable thing for Gillette. Two standard off the peg blokes watch cheesy Gillette advert in a living room (post-modern!). They complain about how rubbish said advert is, and at the end of it, one of them go, "It's good though, isn't it?" GNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Why don't they just get one of the ad men to come on and go "We think you're all fucking idiots, HAHAHAHAHA!"?
  3. Weird and annoying ad for baby doll with magnets in its limbs or something. I choose this for the incredibly irritating brat on the soundtrack going "bleep bleep" for NO REASON AT ALL.

Chris Lyons, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

New answers right after this break...

Chris Lyons, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Anything using 9/11 and after to sell products via 'aren't we *wonderful* to help those who need it' approaches.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I've thought of starting this thread myself since there are so many lame ads on but of course all examples have slipped my mind now. damn food.

Samantha, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Choices Direct, of course.

Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I hate the ad where the kid is sitting on the toilet, and realises he's making a bit of a stink and goes "ah mum got that new press thing"...that releases a good smell.

I also dislkie the tooth paste ad that uses MOP's 'cold as ice' and then has the slogan "cool as ice'...I always think, why use that song then? I'm very fussy.

After a night's TV viewing, I shall garnish you with more examples.

james, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Where there's blame, there's a claim.

RickyT, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

WICKEEEEED!! SOOOORRRRTEEEED!! BANGIIIIINNN!! BACK TO THE OLD SKOOOOOOOOL!! (cue Yazz.)

Alternately, that car ad where the teacher yaks on about how she will be there for the kids, doctors deliver babies ect... because Something Inside Is So Strong. So buy a fucking car.

Al, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

All the Red Bull ads. Every single one.

Samantha, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

the FedEx one where they poach the ambulance man to work for them is pretty tasteless. i presume it was made for the US originally, where they don't have the NHS which needs all the help it can get

michael, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't like the Orange one with Jason Euell - eventhough he is scoring and celebrating against Arsenal. I hope everybody who watched the Arsenal v Charlton match said the same thing when he scored, namely "I wonder if he's going to run out of the ground and go and find his mate?"

Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I really hate that one for Ocean Finance with the smug quiz-show host asking the contestants, "For ten points, tell me a reason why somebody might be.....refused....a loan?" I find it really irritating the way that the word "Advertisement" appears on the screen in the top left hand corner throughout...as if there would ever be a quiz show with questions about loans! Aaargh!

MarkH, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

The Head and Shoulders advert where the ad agency honestly think the shampoo buying public are going to be duped into believing they're talking about infidelity and shagging when really they're speaking about shampoo. I mean, since when has anyone been "seduced by the novelty" of an alternative hair product? Come on!

The whole Shampoo = sex thing is utterly cringeworthy. The only "urge" I get during the Herbal range ad is to dive for the off button on the TV remote.

[And I wish Jason Euell HAD ran out of the stadium on Wednesday - I would have settled for 4:3]

Trevor, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

The Halifax one where the woman does a doctored version of 'Livin' la vida loca' *shudders*

Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

The two blokes watching a Nivea ad in the Nivea ad! Who on earth came up with this? And who on earth paid them to come up with this? Also, there's first love and there's Muller love. The guy eats his yoghurt with a polaroid fer crissakes. Can you imagine the chemical- induced madness that must surely ensue?

Somebody on the best ads thread mentioned the Lupo ads, but the big flashing face that pops up every time you click on *anything* at nme.com is really, really, really, really, really, really, really annoying. Grrr!

Madchen, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

The one that gets my goateee is the man who has hung up about ten blue shirts on the clothesline, then reaches into the basket for another blue shirt an sais it's his favorite.Lol He's nuttier than me!!!! lol Gale

Gale Deslongchamps, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Vodafone. The Dandy Warhols. That smug faced curmudgeon bloke who wandered about the desert before they took the next step into hellishness. The crusties. Their adverts when sponsoring POP IDOL with ha ha look it is HAMPSTERS making things BEEP (actually sounds okay) but this is NOT okay when it is advertising their cnutish BRAND NAME WEBSITE of vizzaavviitytytutwankwankwankwankOHPLEASE. They are DOT COMMUNISTS.

Also, Argos.

The Virgin Mobile advert with Nicole Appleton photocopying her knickers is also rather shit but then again they have ADAM AND JOE (!!!!) on another advert so perhaps I'll have to sign up with them. I hate Vodafone. Bastards bastards bastards. Adverts are SO GREAT though, I love adverts. They are often better than the telly.

Sarah, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Hi Sarah! Adverts are better than the programmes that frame them because more time and money went on them!

Wil, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Sponsorship idents: all shit. I only ever watch commercial TV on a saturday morning so that is all I can talk of BUT two stand out for me as Pete can testify:

1. Argos christmas ad using Slade and the cheapest, shittest, most fucking awful bogus product montage ever. Totally moronic, makes all the goods look like the heap of crap they are - when that fucking cut- out Santa comes by on his skis it might as well be Jive Bunny. There's a real trend lately for mass-market store ads to be this low- rent and vile, probably because the ad people all want to work on high-budget drinks brands and actually lavishing any skills on an ad aimed at the proles would be *so* uncool. Or of course it might be that the focus groups saw the ad and wuvved it, grr.

2. Harry Potter computer game - "FOOTAGE NOT IN GAME" i.e. the game itself has graphics that would shame an Oric. Not in itself a terrible ad but seen five times an hour it gets wearying.

Also! "I'd rather have a bowl of caramelflavouredcocopops" and the Olly the Octopus choosing his cereal are vile, the latter because it is untrue - every child knows which are the nice cereals in a variety pack and it's simply a matter of getting to them first, it's not a dilemma at all you eight-limbed sea bastard.

Tom, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

'You're every one to one you've ever had' DIE GOLDFRAPP DIE.

alext, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I get so depressed when I watch ads on the smaller channels like ITV2 - they are invariably all for loans for sad, stupid people with no jobs and no money, somehow implying that rather than ending up with even less money and self-esteem, taking out a loan is the key to happiness! Celebs who do voice overs for these kind of ads (and I know the bloke who does that fucking blue telephone - how could he stoop so low?) are, IMHO, worse than those who advertise MacDonalds, Starbucks, any of the mega-corporate Incs that people seem to get so worked up about.

As for the Nivea "you know, I might buy some" ad, you can gain some kind of succour by imaging what he's going to be getting for Christmas from all his hilarious mates...

Mark C, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

oh the parade is offering me many bad ads. the lottery one with a parade of people singing the barenaked ladies' 'if i had a million dollars' is a v bad one.

BUT WAIT NOW THERE IS ONE FOR AMERICA WITH THAT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS HERO SONG. oh no wait it's for jeep! jeep LIBERTY, at that!

maura, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

They have a gospel choir in the Lottery ad. Morons should read the bible .

anthony, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I have sky, there's no need to watch adverts.

chris, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Like Samantha, I'm not very good at remembering the ads I hate. I will put a pen and pad by the TV and make a note.

Can I just say that I think the Argos ads are totally wicked.

Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

That fuckin coke ad. I mentioned it before. The one where the guy is on the train and all his "mates" are asleep and he's drinking a can of coke, and he says "it was the best night of my life". "I was gonna miss these guys". And the way he says "these guys" like as if theres a coloured history, and they're some bunch of mad tossers who do crazy stuff but despite it all he was going to miss them. Oh the things they do! Falling asleep on trains, AND drinking coke.

Then at the end of the ad there's the final insult, that annoying high pitched "life tastes good coca cola" jingle. It reminds me of those films where one corporation runs the radio stations and keeps pumping out muzak to keep people happy. it's ok everyone, LIFE TASTES GOOD!!! and you're all allowed to try it!

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

The Argos ads are pitched perfectly at target market = 'good' ads, even though I personally dislike them.

Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Those Virgin ads for executive class flying or whatever it was were truly shit.

Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh yeah - I'm surprised no one has mentioned the horror of the Dorritos 'friends' adverts yet. Has that reached Ferrero Rocher/Alanis Morisette levels of flogged to deathness or something?

Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I make conscious efforts not to buy things if I think the ads are stupid. though I fail.

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

The smug-faced wankism that is Archers. Stop fucking winking at me you bastard I hate you and will punch you, and oh hahaha isn't it so funny that the girl stays out later than him because she drinks Archers hahaha I bet her and the Lambrini girls love each other the stupid fucking wenches.

emil.y, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Did you say urge? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

george foreman's imac grillpan thing, WHAT THE FUCK IS ThAT!!!! "it's like a grill pan", okay, "it's ridged so you don't get as much fat in your food" riiiight "it's got a pretty coloured lid and it cooks both sides at once" okaaaaaaaaaay "george foreman say's it's really GRATE" WTF, GEORGE FOREMAN, cognitive dissonance, brain MEEEELLLLLTTTIIIINNNGG....

carsmilesteve, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

the RETURN OF THE GRILL-SHILL!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

1 Bacardi Breezer. It is undignified for a cat to be seen behaving like a cheap male nightclub smoothie.

2 The fabric conditioner one where the people are made out of - duh - fabric. It is disturbing to look at 'people' made out of fabric, and in fact they look horribly disfigured, like burns victims or people with hypothermia.

Ellie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

i mean GRILL SHILLAZ !!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't stand those crappy Dani Behr McDonalds Premiere advert. They make me want to hurt Dani Behr more than usual.

(I really like those Argos adverts - they cool)

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

helen fordsdale, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

Blimey, isn't it usually the other way round?

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

LAMBRINI GIRLS ARGH.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

(though they oppress me from posters not the telly)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Another hated poster ad - what do these people have in common they all drink portugese wine (or something, I do not know what horrible drink they all drink all I know is that it's yet another poster with Tony Parsons gazing at me, best selling author yes)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

That German wine ad is shit as well. The one with that ex-goth lass who now is a city worker of some description and has noticed the wine changing with her. I am also dismayed by by the cheesiness of that Hardys ad with the bottle making an impression on the car, hur-hur- hur. Are all wine adverts rubbish by law or something? I can't think of a single good one off the top of my head.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Ah now whot about the S. African wines one dominating the Northern/Victoria lines? With the funny reptile lying back in a tshirt with the S.African flag on it? Ha ha that is funny ha ha ha fetch me a bottle! As long as I can smash it OVER MY OWN HEAD argh. Tube adverts surely don't count. I still want to know why they are all so crap for car insurance (if yer on the tube = good chance you don't drive and not target demographic SURELY) and LET YER BODY KNOW WHEN TO CONCIEVE helff fads. Sheesh.

Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I have never seen a wine ad except 'le francais adore Le Piat D'or' which I doubt even counts as wine. Is wine advertising targeted at the metropolis, or have I missed my demographic?

Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"In France it's part of the language" => very very very angry RickyT shouting at television.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Spitfire Ale is even worse though.

Wine ads infest the London Underground system. That and ads for ten- week 'philosophy' courses.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

'I AM DRUG FREE' screams trophy winning golfer.

Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Are any of the common ads on the tube any good? Travel insurance = shit, cheap phone calls = shit, wellwoman pills = very smug detoxified woman therefore shit, cartoon strip style loan ads = even shitter, car insurance ads = dreadful with particular brickbats going to Diamond (car insurance for girls NOT men) and Admiral (Tim and whatserface 'soap opera' type affair only the fuckers can't even be bothered to use the same models from episode to episode) and as pointed out above why do I want car insurance when I'm on the sodding TRAIN anyway?

Must. Calm. Down.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

'Scientology helped me become a successful photographer', yes yes but it also made you look like Greg Evigan.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

co-op and now centrepoint have also started doing the poems in adverts thing. it's a plague.

that dancing on the moon thing and the mad max one are good examples of lots of money being thrown at perfume ads.

the snoop dogg just eat ad is better than it sounds on paper.

koogs, Friday, 18 December 2020 09:44 (five months ago) link

They are now making the ads in Snoop's absence

Mark G, Friday, 18 December 2020 09:46 (five months ago) link

always the way. iggy pop got replaced by a puppet of iggy pop.

koogs, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:08 (five months ago) link

they're also those products with least to actually differentiate themselves from one another and most invested in "the brand", hence an arms race in advertising to try to carve out a market share

― Neil S, Monday, December 7, 2020 9:42 AM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

I had somebody explaining this idea re alcohol a couple of decades ago. That the bigger brands who you saw most advertising by were seen by those who knew the product in general would view as low com denom, I think he was specifically saying taht if you went to Cuba and ordered a rum and were served with a commercial product you'd be offended. I think he nameda brand but it was a couple of decades ago.,
BUt this was what people had had marketed to them, which was how they knew the product so didn't have a default decent version in their mental database or swatchbook or whatever. AAlso tie taht in with having read about the lasting impression getting a picture from buying from supermarkets as opposed to a more direct less packaged version which has less focus on shelf life and aesthetics of the perfect fruiit that all like pretty iconic but don't taste of anything. Which may be less of a monopolising feature than when i was reading about it but may just be greenwash.

Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:15 (five months ago) link

co-op and now centrepoint have also started doing the poems in adverts thing. it's a plague.

My God yes, rhyming should be banned from adverts.

Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Friday, 18 December 2020 12:04 (five months ago) link

I had somebody explaining this idea re alcohol a couple of decades ago. That the bigger brands who you saw most advertising by were seen by those who knew the product in general would view as low com denom, I think he was specifically saying taht if you went to Cuba and ordered a rum and were served with a commercial product you'd be offended. I think he nameda brand but it was a couple of decades ago.,
BUt this was what people had had marketed to them, which was how they knew the product so didn't have a default decent version in their mental database or swatchbook or whatever. AAlso tie taht in with having read about the lasting impression getting a picture from buying from supermarkets as opposed to a more direct less packaged version which has less focus on shelf life and aesthetics of the perfect fruiit that all like pretty iconic but don't taste of anything. Which may be less of a monopolising feature than when i was reading about it but may just be greenwash.

― Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:15 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I've tried with this 6 or 7 times now but think I'm just gonna have to call it a day

or something, Friday, 18 December 2020 12:14 (five months ago) link

point was that they had reduced quality of the product made to fit a non educated taste. A commercial brand was a vague approximation of what was made for but would be what a 'normal punter' would know as taht product. Like if you knew beer as Budweiser lager instead of Budwar or a local brew or something.
& what the supermarket has done to the tastes of what people do not know is the supposed ideal of what these mass production versions are supposed to be approximating. Flavour goes out of the window as do all the things a connoisseur of a product would want in that product.
Certainly seemed to be a widespread thing 10 or 20 years ago but there seemed to be some form of backlash against it which may have been superficial hence greenwash.

Bottom line being agreeing with the idea that taht which needs to rely on advertising doesn't have its own qualities which is what the previous poster's point was.
I agreed with teh person I was in the pub with at the time but could see he may have been overstating. I think his point was taht if you went to Cuba with a Bacardi and tried to pass it off as a decent rum you would be laughed at because it was more fo a commercialised version than anything a rum drinker there would recognise ass worthy. BUt since taht is what people outside of th eoriginal market would be familiar as as rum it is far more the referent point than what should be.

Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 14:01 (five months ago) link

so a fruit looks iconic because of the amount of food wastage involved in the mass production process. All ugly fruit are dumped while the farmer is left paying for them and also has overhead cut as much as possible to allow supermarket to have lowest possible price.

Foods are packaged for shelf life which meant that some cheeses had their characteristic internal workings removed so they could be vacuum sealed. Big thing I saw referred to in a number of places was flavour being sacrificed for looks. you would wind up with bland if not tasteless ideal looking apples and strawberries among other fruit.

Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 14:12 (five months ago) link

I thought you meant Bacardi, in which case unfortunately it's more of less total bollocks.

Bacardi was an attempt to make a smoother, better class/higher price rum, but way back in the middle of the 19th Century. They started production off Cuba circa wwII but escaped to America - having been opposed to the revolution - when Castro siezed their assets.

Havana Club*, on the other hand, is drunk throughout Cuba and is very much commercialised and/or branded there as being 'superior' compared to Ron Cubay which is sort of the only other available country-wide as opposed to the local factory which will be Ron de town or city.

As with tequila, the real difference isn't necessarily the producer but more the aging - silver only good for mixing, añejo to be sipped with a cube of ice. Even more so, if you go down the rabbit hole into rums where the sugar cane is sourced from a single plantation (which is broadly the same sort of cachet as single malts) but to my knowledge Cuba doesn't make any of those.

* Not to be confused with the Havana Club you buy here, which is made by Bacardi to the same recipe (which they bought from the family) as the one made in Cuba (and tastes pretty close).

pedantly admonishment (aldo), Friday, 18 December 2020 14:30 (five months ago) link

Thankfully the Pimlico Plumbers Christmas advert is, like the new covid strain, limited to the London area.

koogs, Saturday, 19 December 2020 21:38 (four months ago) link

LOL they are choice.

Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Saturday, 19 December 2020 22:13 (four months ago) link

Lol Schwimmer you sad bastard

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 27 December 2020 23:50 (four months ago) link

Enough's enough with the charity adverts: donkeys, elephants, blind kids, tigers, etc etc. I might go out and kick a donkey myself if this onslaught continues.

Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Monday, 28 December 2020 00:04 (four months ago) link

Fuck's sake Rylan mind your own business

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 January 2021 21:38 (four months ago) link

Also if I ever see a Lloyd's horse irl I'm shooting the fucker

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 January 2021 21:39 (four months ago) link

there are four separate terrible gin adverts at the moment

(gin club, sipsmiths, gordon's non-alcoholic gin (£14 a bottle...) and that netflix-y one (also gordon's))

koogs, Saturday, 9 January 2021 22:00 (four months ago) link

Netflix one makes me violently angry yes

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 January 2021 22:01 (four months ago) link

Also if I ever see a Lloyd's horse irl I'm shooting the fucker

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, January 9, 2021 9:39 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

the tremulous cover version as a soundtrack nnnngh

Sven Vath's scary carpet (Neil S), Saturday, 9 January 2021 22:09 (four months ago) link

make that 5 terrible gin adverts

clean.co low alcohol gin, etc, featuring two people from towie? made in chelsea? one of those

koogs, Wednesday, 13 January 2021 21:39 (four months ago) link

Where's William Hogarth when you need him?

Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Wednesday, 13 January 2021 23:40 (four months ago) link

Two new ones to hate.

"I blummin' love my meat" SAID NO-ONE EVER.

"Can give my pre-loved clothes a second life." YOU ALREADY HAVE BY BUYING THEM - SELLING THEM WILL BE (AT LEAST) A THIRD LIFE.

Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Saturday, 16 January 2021 21:21 (four months ago) link

four weeks pass...

i think i'm a bad person because i want to smash the "cancer won't win" lady in the face

The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:18 (three months ago) link

Feel the same about the Domino's guy. "Himalayan herrings". I've seen some contrived scenarios in ads in my time but these latest Domino's ones are excruciating

or something, Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:32 (three months ago) link

I just end up shouting "just leave them, you're better than that mate" at the telly when that's on.

Your son gets to throw you out of the house because he doesn't like your dinner and your wife takes his side? Grow a pair and/or get them tae fuck.

Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:40 (three months ago) link

You're a better person than me then, I'd encourage him to jump in front of a train

or something, Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:49 (three months ago) link

oh aye those Dominos adverts are some bullshit it's true

The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:55 (three months ago) link

"NEVER LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE"

fuck you overpriced pizza lads

The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:56 (three months ago) link

three weeks pass...

I didn't think it was possible but somehow Barnardo's has lowered the bar for cunts overacting wildly over shit tiny lottery prizes

The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 March 2021 13:51 (two months ago) link

the William Hill Vegas gaming app adverts have some good (bad) overreacting. "Olympia Megaways!". website looks full of cheap cookie-cutter slot machine apps.

but the Hey Car white guy rapping / miming in a car is probably my least favourite ad right now.

koogs, Saturday, 6 March 2021 14:00 (two months ago) link

i enjoy hatewatching the Billy Hill ads yes, surely borderline legal in their depiction of win win win

Hey Car ad actor looks like a mate of mine which is unfortunate

The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 March 2021 14:10 (two months ago) link

I can imagine this advertising agency were very pleased they'd managed to do an advert about pet food without mentioning pet food, or even pets - but they're wrong, it's some shite about pet food.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rnJf4I-n5c

Wrote For Lunch (Tom D.), Saturday, 6 March 2021 14:13 (two months ago) link

nationwide have tripled down on the 'bloke complaining about exercise' ads after the bloke who said the best thing about home yoga is not having to do it.

the new ones have a jogger who likes the sauna and the footballer who eats chocolate. and NEITHER of them have diddly to do with building societies.

at least they don't rhyme.

koogs, Saturday, 13 March 2021 20:23 (two months ago) link

Footballer eating chocolate is particularly annoying. I mean if it's his favourite thing to do with his mates presumably he does it all the time and they have a routine booking and a way of divvying up the costs - so is he just trying to be Billy Big Bollocks by saying I've got this to the bill for the foreseeable future?

Or is it something he's done once or twice and would rather deny the rest of the public the opportunity to play football coming out of lockdown on the offchance once it comes round he'll want to play over and over again?

Presumably he's contacted the place and already booked but he just says "so I can book" which suggests he hasn't, so isn't he rather hoping that nobody else has had the same brilliant idea as him in order to play football at all?

Equally presumably he's already discussed this with enough mates to form the teams and that they haven't got anything else they'd rather be doing with their new found freedoms like just going to the pub. And they're ok with letting him pay for it all, so they clearly don't like him that much (although they're obviously as selfish as him).

It's amazing how many ways someone can make it clear they're a wanker from such a short ad.

Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Saturday, 13 March 2021 20:37 (two months ago) link

four weeks pass...

Why does the Vanish voice over man say "revive carpets" like he wants to hurt me?

Call of Scampi: Slack Nephrops (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 April 2021 14:04 (one month ago) link

the purple bricks ad where the blonde woman kicks the punch bag is doing my head in because I can't decide whether the awkward nod, facial expression, and handshake at the end is just, well awkward, or is in fact the greatest piece of acting I've ever seen.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 April 2021 20:47 (one month ago) link

those ads make me wonder if making your agents look like complete twunts is a good idea (it's not).

the shrieking also unpleasant on the ears.

koogs, Saturday, 10 April 2021 20:52 (one month ago) link

toksvig mansplaining vanilla.

the woman talking back to the peleton trainers as if they care.

koogs, Tuesday, 20 April 2021 13:23 (four weeks ago) link

All peleton adverts are the worst TV adverts

ignore the blue line (or something), Tuesday, 20 April 2021 13:32 (four weeks ago) link

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/d2B5/humira-crohns-colitis-not-always-where-i-needed-to-be

Must be an irreplaceable tone, because all she appears to sing is "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".

the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Tuesday, 20 April 2021 14:42 (four weeks ago) link

Dreams Beds proudly sponsors nights on 5USA.

cue family, two small kids, hunkering down in bed to watch TV.

this just before an episode of Special Victims Unit where a boy is sexually abused by his father and shoots up a school.

maybe they should rethink

koogs, Sunday, 25 April 2021 10:19 (three weeks ago) link

lol

Authoritarian Steaks (Tom D.), Sunday, 25 April 2021 10:56 (three weeks ago) link

There is an ad for Seat featuring a Mumford & Sons style cover of Walk On The Wild Side which makes me slightly mortified that I drive a Seat.

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 28 April 2021 13:55 (two weeks ago) link

Einstein in the bath. why?

archimedes i could understand...

koogs, Thursday, 6 May 2021 19:59 (one week ago) link

He sounds like a Holgar Czukay promo 12" I owns..

Mark G, Thursday, 6 May 2021 22:37 (one week ago) link

language problems aside, would anyone in 79ad ever refer to the date as 79ad?

koogs, Wednesday, 12 May 2021 16:56 (six days ago) link

Plusnet is the new 118 118 in the sense of having an interminable long-running series of adverts that were shit as an idea and have been shit in practice from the very first one to the latest one and can't they just stop?

Are Animated Dads Getting Hotter? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 17:04 (six days ago) link

79AD was meaningless in 79AD but more importantly that lad is a cunt

No real human being has ever used the phrase "that's a low price"

Chickpeas, Scamps and Beeves (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 19:01 (six days ago) link

Re 79AD, yep I say that every time!

Also, if you whisper a question to Alexa, does she whisper the answer back to you?

I could try it, but... cbb.

Mark G, Wednesday, 12 May 2021 19:11 (six days ago) link

> No real human being has ever used the phrase "that's a low price"

there's another one where someone asks about a neighbour's security camera by make, and that's similarly unnatural.

koogs, Wednesday, 12 May 2021 20:07 (six days ago) link

It might be considered disproportionate to wish a violent death on you Matt Berry so I'll confine myself to hoping you lose your vocal cords gently but suddenly and forever

Chickpeas, Scamps and Beeves (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 13 May 2021 21:54 (five days ago) link


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