worst commercials on television

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1) the mcdonalds apple dippers commercial w. the b-boy style little kid dancing the cha cha slide song. apparently al jolson was busy.

remy bean, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 01:05 (fourteen years ago) link

2) Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Fucking Ugly Yogurt Bikini

remy bean, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 01:07 (fourteen years ago) link

3) Two dudes playing piano with their cocks (Aus erectile dysfunction ad [fucking horrendous])

W4LTER, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 01:19 (fourteen years ago) link

Included on here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=edLWIbV-_Is

W4LTER, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 01:24 (fourteen years ago) link

4) the one where the little girl in the luxury minivan is like "what does 'spoiled' mean"and the mom is like "why did someone say that about you?" and the girl is like "no the said that about YOU"

bell_labs, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 01:45 (fourteen years ago) link

(my favorite, for what it's worth, is the Dow Human Element campaign)

remy bean, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 01:54 (fourteen years ago) link

yaz birth control

chaki, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 02:05 (fourteen years ago) link

It's a goddamn good thing I hardly watch tv anymore, because I hate commercials so much I want to mutilate them all with boxcutters. Why, I even started a thread once about a spot that made me particularly furious.

So.

1. All of them.

Oilyrags, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 02:21 (fourteen years ago) link

There are so many bad ones but this one while old still makes me smile:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DRucm2UREU

ENBB, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 02:33 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh and this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NRNQmtUAUg

It's bad because you can just picture the meeting where they came up with the rap idea, you know, to really reach the youth of today.

ENBB, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 02:45 (fourteen years ago) link

No time to quit making awful misleading political advertisements.

Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:26 (fourteen years ago) link

this thread reminded me to upload this to youtube: i nearly gagged when i first saw it but had the wherewithall to hit 'record' on the ol' tivo. check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSvKYwy9kJo

BATTAGS, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:35 (fourteen years ago) link

Ha, speaking of "rapping" in commercials, the rap part was always my favorite part of this classic one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeffKUWZIng

dell, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:41 (fourteen years ago) link

Hands down, this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgxxAwue7Fs

So bad it's bad.

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:48 (fourteen years ago) link

YES Moley!

I was looking for that the other day, I was describing it to my gf, and she wouldn't believe me.

W4LTER, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:50 (fourteen years ago) link

My girlfriend worked on something to do with that one. She's going STRAIGHT TO HELL.

'Advanced Hair? Yeah yeah' - so bad a catchphrase it entered the Australian vernacular immediately:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqMemogg4kI

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:51 (fourteen years ago) link

It's funny. I was asking my friend from Kansas what sticks out and is different about Australia (coz she was saying how Aus is pretty much the same as the US in most respects) and she said the main thing she noticed was how tv commercials are so much worse over here.

W4LTER, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:54 (fourteen years ago) link

The ads here are so very shitty, but that bom-chicka ad appears to have originated in the states so we can't be blamed for it. It's just being rolled out here, with a lame local version.

One yank told me it was weird that so many ads here have crap music jingles - even cheap ads for Paul's Warehouse etc. Apparently that's unusual.

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 04:59 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ANn6Z1iKxc&mode=related&search=

This needs to be seen to be believed.

HI DERE, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:02 (fourteen years ago) link

I am also shocked to find out that the Advanced Hair company is under investigation for false advertising:

http://www.belgraviacentre.com/advancedhairstudio.htm

"...Advanced Hair Studio doesn't make it clear exactly what its amazing 'Strand-by-Strand' procedure is - or what you'll get for your money. And at a cost of at least £2,000 for treatment, it's a significant investment.

Paolo Beggio and Ross Trowsdale were both sold the 'Strand-by-Strand' procedure. After watching a sales video, they were convinced Advanced Hair Studio could solve their problems. That's until they went for their fittings. The amazing non-surgical skin graft they'd been sold was actually a toupee that was glued to their heads."

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:07 (fourteen years ago) link

HI DERE, that ad is kooky but great. It looks like something that John Kricfalusi would've plundered for Ren and Stimpy.

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:09 (fourteen years ago) link

xpost

Well, thing is, back in mid-to-late eighties in the states, programs were run pretty regularly which consisted in large part or even exclusively of showcasing ostensibly humorous commercials from other countries (mainly European)...I'm thinking that at some point, the U.S. ad industry must have seen how lame their commercials came off in comparison to the Germans or the Swedes or the French or whomever, and so there was a paradigm shift of sorts as far as attempting to make commercials more "edgy" or humorous or whatever.

Prior to that, many American commercials did, for the most part, involve lame jingles (with the odd exception of innovative standouts such as, say, the Wendy's "Where's the Beef?", or Apple "1984" commercials). Nowadays, jingles don't turn up much anymore, except in local ads for used car dealerships and such.

As someone living in the U.S., the "Advanced Hair" one is definitely striking in its cheesiness. The nonstop repetition of the jingle is singularly bizarre.

dell, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:13 (fourteen years ago) link

In LA in January, I sawe this Burger King ad repeatedly:

http://blog.shrub.com/archives/tekanji/2006-05-09_235

I remember thinking, 'Thank God - they have ads as bad as back home in Australia'. It was almost a relief.

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Sadly, I don't think the video will load, although the analysis at the link pretty much describes the whole horrible thing. Stand out phrase: "I will eat / This meat" (To Helen Reddy's 'I am Woman', at the point where the lyrics go, 'I am strong / I am invincible').

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:30 (fourteen years ago) link

OK I found a working link to the ad:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3861974550027138294

Note the 'chick food' vs 'man food' dichotomy.

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:39 (fourteen years ago) link

There's so much stereotyping in this ad, it is almost impossible to keep up with it.

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:42 (fourteen years ago) link

VIVA VIAGRA

joygoat, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:50 (fourteen years ago) link

i like quiche

remy bean, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:50 (fourteen years ago) link

No doubt you were forced to eat it by your girlfriend?

moley, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 05:52 (fourteen years ago) link

If I ever have a son and I catch him eating quiche, he's in for a whoopin'. Guaranteed.

dell, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 06:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Sometimes it seems like the only thing I remember from browsing in bookstores as a kid in the eighties is "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche", "Real Women Don't Pump Gas", "The Preppy Handbook", and "Buns".

Does anybody remember "Buns"??

dell, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 06:15 (fourteen years ago) link

I like most of these commercials.

Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 06:19 (fourteen years ago) link

Urine Gone - with enzymes!

(srsly this ad - the 15 minute infomercial I sat through while watching British Eurosport at half midnight last night - suggested that, if your pet or child pees on your countertops you don't wipe it up, you just spray it with Urine Gone. Piss on your walls? Just spray and it's neutralised!)

Mark C, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 10:35 (fourteen years ago) link

four months pass...

DO-ING THINGS IS WHAT I LIKE TO DO! YES!!
DO-ING THINGS IS WHAT I LIKE TO DO!

GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Sunday, 3 February 2008 13:08 (fourteen years ago) link

^^^ turf war

DG, Sunday, 3 February 2008 13:08 (fourteen years ago) link

I love that commercial. YES!!

kate78, Sunday, 3 February 2008 17:08 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...

we've seen just the tip of the iceberg with the boomer-retirement-years commercials, rite?

gabbneb, Wednesday, 14 May 2008 22:46 (fourteen years ago) link

that bk commercial made me laugh. surely they are totally making fun of the whole macho thing... right?

rockapads, Thursday, 15 May 2008 02:32 (fourteen years ago) link

like the carl's jr / hardees commercials? taking it to an extreme for lolz? i mean they throw a mini-van over a bridge!

rockapads, Thursday, 15 May 2008 02:33 (fourteen years ago) link

yes, the bk commercials are the worst commercials on television

gabbneb, Thursday, 15 May 2008 02:33 (fourteen years ago) link

five months pass...

worst commercials are EASILY THE MAC COMMERCIALS. absolutely no personality and it just reeks of airs. UGH i hate that campaign.

Surmounter, Saturday, 25 October 2008 23:33 (thirteen years ago) link

like, i can't imagine anyone actually laughing at them. that's really unfortunate.

Surmounter, Saturday, 25 October 2008 23:33 (thirteen years ago) link

I didn't this ad:

There was just something really creepy about the animals (not just all the sexual shenanigans)

Autobot Lover (jel --), Sunday, 26 October 2008 09:13 (thirteen years ago) link

"like"

Wasting your extra hour on ILX: classic or dud?

Autobot Lover (jel --), Sunday, 26 October 2008 09:13 (thirteen years ago) link

lol i find tht ad kind of funny :/

Surmounter, Sunday, 26 October 2008 14:14 (thirteen years ago) link

i don't know what's wrong with me tho, i'm generally a fan of animal ads

Surmounter, Sunday, 26 October 2008 14:14 (thirteen years ago) link

Burger King's sissy troubadours singing about the steakhouse shroom & swiss -- what the FUCK.

Joe the C.R.E.E.P. Operative (Rock Hardy), Monday, 27 October 2008 01:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Hot Zebras, never thought i'd see that :-/

not_goodwin, Monday, 27 October 2008 01:53 (thirteen years ago) link

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww at the orangina ad

max, Monday, 27 October 2008 01:55 (thirteen years ago) link

The apple ad with this shite, maudlin British hip-hop track about a guy who, sigh, just wishes he had a little sister

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HiB-hNt_mw

Have you hugged your timeghoul today? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 09:10 (five years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8UV7SAhvG4

Iago Galdston, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 14:20 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Marco! Polo!
Marco! Polo!
Marco! Polo!

Hamilton, Joe Frank & Two-Thirds of Asphyx (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 27 August 2016 06:51 (five years ago) link

three months pass...

I just found out the bearded actor in the Chevy ads is named Potsch Boyd. And now I'm ready for the earth to die in nuclear fire.

rudy githyanki (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 8 December 2016 21:41 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

Afoot and light-hearted I take to the road
Healthy, free, the world before me

OKAY I GET IT, FUUUUUUUCK OFF WITH YOUR WALT WHITMAN

Anthology of Literature's Finest Penis Descriptions (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 11 February 2017 11:57 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

THE SEVERED HEADS OF CHILDREN SING TO YOU OF THE FUTURE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1b-Zt2IJl8

three months pass...

"in 200 feet, stop for what most people consider "authentic" Cajun food"

when our phone ais become insufferable hipsters

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 16 June 2017 22:21 (five years ago) link

That Dorito's one where they say the chips are like having a baby dragon. WTF

Unchanging Window (Ross), Thursday, 22 June 2017 06:49 (five years ago) link

one for the stoners that

pray for BoJo (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 22 June 2017 08:25 (five years ago) link

R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!

30 seconds later

R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!

Puke and Other Poems (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 29 June 2017 07:10 (five years ago) link

four months pass...
three months pass...

So the endless gospel sample in the Chromebook ads says "First you got a light bull due/Then you got a gas bill too" and I at least know that. But I kind of never want to hear that remix ever again ever.

my dreams in the hell-pits (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 10 February 2018 10:24 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

dilly dilly

mookieproof, Sunday, 25 March 2018 18:18 (four years ago) link

where did that shit come from, that's not even real, you'd be kicked out of the ren faire for that shit

my dreams in the hell-pits (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 31 March 2018 21:41 (four years ago) link

tbf i'd probably think it was really funny if i were 8yo

mookieproof, Saturday, 31 March 2018 22:11 (four years ago) link

one year passes...

https://i.stack.imgur.com/ADPFV.png

fuck you

also the real spokesperson's actual name is 'potsch boyd'

mookieproof, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 02:37 (three years ago) link

this is undoubtedly the worst thing i've ever watched pic.twitter.com/G08EvRQ6du

— Florb Netterson (@comicpanopticon) May 28, 2019

Simon H., Wednesday, 29 May 2019 02:51 (three years ago) link

war criminal slidin into home

nobody's said it for many years now but fuck Wolfmother for that shit-ass T. Rex song about livin' free that's in a commercial every ten seconds.

blood, loud screaming and nudity (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 05:53 (three years ago) link

fake T. Rex song obv

blood, loud screaming and nudity (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 05:53 (three years ago) link

i fuckin hate potsch boyd

na (NA), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 21:51 (three years ago) link

That smarmy bearded TD Ameritrade financial advisor who sits back, legs crossed (always in a dark green room) and wheedles his newly affluent marks. Sit up straight, dork! And wear a tie.

punning display, Thursday, 30 May 2019 13:22 (three years ago) link

any commercial that uses a version of "go your own way"

there are THREE right now. one drug ad, one for a kids movie, one for a pickup truck.

blood, loud screaming and nudity (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 30 May 2019 21:38 (three years ago) link

also hard agree on the Ameritrade guy

blood, loud screaming and nudity (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 30 May 2019 21:38 (three years ago) link

yes FUCK THIS GUY

d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 31 May 2019 14:29 (three years ago) link

six months pass...

that Peloton ad is causing a hell of a shitstorm online

I don't really buy the idea that it's necessarily sexist or problematic but it is deeply weird, it kinda reminds me of the commercials I grew up with in the 90s that had bad actors and told bizarre stories that clearly weren't focus grouped at all

frogbs, Friday, 6 December 2019 00:01 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

what's up with the walmart ready player one thing?

wasdnuos (abanana), Saturday, 1 February 2020 08:21 (two years ago) link

i think i figured out the theme: they all have some sort of sci-fi ship. they are trying to make the fact that you have to drive to a walmart cool, when their competitors will just mail the stuff to your door.

wasdnuos (abanana), Saturday, 1 February 2020 09:42 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

h8 this guy

https://i0.wp.com/bobsullivan.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Cap-One.jpg

mookieproof, Wednesday, 3 February 2021 03:01 (one year ago) link

the allstate moon commercial is close to ruining "crusin" forever for me

, Wednesday, 3 February 2021 04:31 (one year ago) link

six months pass...

The Jill Scott Nationwide commercial is literally satan

Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 August 2021 23:25 (ten months ago) link

i wonder if state farm has to pay like double the going rate to get athletes for its painfully dorky ads

mookieproof, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 00:02 (ten months ago) link

I don't think so.

https://i.imgur.com/QXTC5eD.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 00:24 (ten months ago) link

man i hope jill got paid

My gf is rewatching Fringe on IMDB's streaming thing and they play that Nationwide ad during literally every single commercial break. I never thought I'd have occasion to implore Jill Scott to shut the everloving fuck up for the love of christ but, well, here we are.

Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 August 2021 02:54 (ten months ago) link

It's like if the HR manager at your shitty corporate job Tiktok-ed a musical paean to corporate synergy and it went viral.

Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 August 2021 03:04 (ten months ago) link

--A talking ass for SeatGeek

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 18 August 2021 04:54 (ten months ago) link

Liberty Mutual was bad enough when it was just Liberty Liberty Liberty Liiiiberty etc
the limu emu shit though is a plague

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 18 August 2021 05:10 (ten months ago) link

all the AT&T commercials with Lily make me want to die

frogbs, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 13:53 (ten months ago) link

I feel like the intolerability quotient of advertising would drop by like 90% if it was illegal for insurance companies to make commercials.

Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 August 2021 14:03 (ten months ago) link

the Dean Winters commercials as "Mayhem" are pretty good. or maybe I just think they're good because they actually have something to do with insurance? like every other company is just doing "you can save a lot on insurance!" and "oh my god, I can't shut the fuck up about insurance!"

frogbs, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 14:07 (ten months ago) link

i think commercials in general are getting more annoying and desperate for attention. maybe they have to now that they're competing with "switching to a different tab" and "looking at phone"

, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 23:09 (ten months ago) link

five months pass...

WHY are these BIRDS so ANGRY???

frogbs, Tuesday, 8 February 2022 21:19 (four months ago) link

also wanna mention the USAA ad where Gronk is trying and failing to buy insurance?? one because he fucking sucks as an actor (surprising!!), two because why are we supposed to believe superstar athletes give a fuck about their home and auto insurance? what is this contrived Trix and the rabbit situation

frogbs, Tuesday, 8 February 2022 21:23 (four months ago) link

What... what year did you just post this from?

pplains, Tuesday, 8 February 2022 22:57 (four months ago) link

The Geico angry birds commercial still airs all the time!! The game is well over a decade old!! As old as Mario 64 was when it first came out!

frogbs, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 00:37 (four months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVjFdaRxoo0

This Ben Moore commercial is just a farce. NOT how you paint.

Kim, Wednesday, 9 February 2022 14:15 (four months ago) link

three weeks pass...

The Russian meerkat characters getting cancelled is objectively absurd and somewhat indicative of ugly xenophobia that is already having worse consequences, but can't say I'll miss the little fuckers.

Daniel_Rf, Wednesday, 2 March 2022 14:14 (four months ago) link

dunno why they didn't just go "oh Sergei is ukranian of course" tho unless there's some deeper meerkat lore I'm not privy to.

Daniel_Rf, Wednesday, 2 March 2022 14:15 (four months ago) link

three months pass...

uhhh the Uber Eats commercial where celebrities drink soap and eat candles?

frogbs, Thursday, 23 June 2022 02:30 (one week ago) link

the youtube tv commercial (i think that's what it's for, some streaming alternative to cable) where the woman keeps moaning and groaning. physical pain to hear it

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 23 June 2022 03:29 (one week ago) link


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