Colon Cleasning, Enemas, Colonics, etc

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There hasn't been a thread yet. Surely this topic is rife w/embarrassing admissions and hilarious jokes and such.

Has anyone ever had one? Or known some nutjob who was convinced of their healing qualities?

I came across some websites while trying to research fasting, here is a testimonial:

David_T, age 40, level 2 cleansing: "My evening bucket was unbelievable...Its no wonder I felt bad most of the day with that much shit braking loose in my colon. There was an assortment of shit too...I had the white-yarn type, I had a big FAT brown piece about a foot long and looked to be about as big around as a silver dollar"

- http://www.hps-online.com/nsectionfast.htm

Also lots of vile pictures I wont post.

So what do you think?

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

WHITE-YARN TYPE?!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahahahaha. You go on about these people being nutjobs, and then you'll probably take a tablet to relieve headache, pain, and fever.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

what we need is a tablet to relieve headache, pain, fever *and* bowel problems

― the surface noise of psychotic badassery (electricsound), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I honestly don't believe some of the testimonials.

"...after getting a sample of what was inside my colon, I really can't go on knowing that that crap is there without doing something about it. Nothing can come close to the experience of actually seeing long tubes of rubbery shit come out of you, and after seeing that you'll be a believer for life."

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i am curious about what happenes when someone gets an enema though. i mean besides watery shit coming out. i suppose thats all that happens. but you never know for sure.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

GOTHIC ANUS

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

The idea is to remove bacterial build-up and such. People who have it done report being healthier.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:43 (twenty-two years ago)

but what about the 'good' bacteria?

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

You replace it with suitable dairy products. Commercialism makes the world go round.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought that build-up was mainly a problem plaguing meat-eaters, and yet I suspect it is mostly vegans/vegetarians on the receiving end of said colonics.

Ha, end.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 16 May 2004 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm fascinated by this. I really enjoy going to the bathroom as well. However, there's no fucking way I'm sticking a colander into my toilet to catch the crazy mucus and decayed meat coming out of my ass. Start with that and before you know it you're drinking your urine or moving to Germany.

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I really want one of these.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd only do it if i can have the coffee one. mine's a long black, cheers

― the surface noise of psychotic badassery (electricsound), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, coffee is the way to go. (as long as its organic fair-trade obv.)

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

it seems to me like a "candling of the ear canal" thing, i.e. a scam.

― duke bucket, Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Who sieves their own cack? Go to a naturopath and cop a syphen up the arse.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Candling your ears feels really good, though. And costs, like, 12 cents.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm sure these things feel great, but do they actually do anything? apart from the routine psychosomatic/self-aggrandising granola crunch scenario they appear to buttress? pun intended

― duke intent, Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Doubtful. But feeling good is nice, so hey.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:51 (twenty-two years ago)

yes its sort of like going to the chiropractor except w/shit.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Ive read articles that basically say theyre terrible for you - people report shitting heaps of crap (hah pardon the pun) and feeling so much lighter better blah blah but they dont tell you about the moutains of fibrous rubbish "cleansers" they make you ingest for days beforehand, which is what youre then ejecting, along with potentially half your lower intestinal lining.

Im not saying out insides are healthy and dont need some kind of cleansing, but this is SO not the way to do it.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean think about it - laxatives are very bad for you. Why would this be good?

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 16 May 2004 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Because this way you get a free goosing.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 16 May 2004 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

The Quackwatch case against colonics and related treatments:
http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/gastro.html

The Quackwatch case against ear candling: http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/candling.html

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 16 May 2004 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I stand firm. Ear candling feels awesome.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 16 May 2004 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Ahh thanks j.lu I think it was the quackwatch page I might have read.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 16 May 2004 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

the reader protest for the colonic one is pretty great.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

FaST & SLuiCe, D00D.

― gygax! (gygax!), Sunday, 16 May 2004 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wish I could separate my pleasure shitting and my functional shitting.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Sunday, 16 May 2004 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

thats funny, but i dont know why. i need to stop posting though cause i am drunk.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so glad this isn't a picture thread.

Enemas for erotic purposes - classic or dud?

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 16 May 2004 07:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Tubgirl would say 'dud' if she could speak.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 16 May 2004 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"It's a living."

― tubgirl (nickn), Sunday, 16 May 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Colonic irrigation. You know where you can stick that.

― Johnney B, Sunday, 16 May 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"the reader protest for the colonic one is pretty great"

it really is! holy shit! (whoops)

― duke unintended, Sunday, 16 May 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

“Now listen up because I am about to reveal an untapped health resource that will completely change your life forever!”

Jos-hua, Medicine Man.

This is actually from the site.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 16 May 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

I don't know--I was kind of considering this because I do, in fact, suffer from bloating, fatigue, et al., but then I just realized I should eat, like, enough vegetables and grains and I will probably be fine.

― emilys., Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:31 (eighteen years ago)

the awesomely named 'california morbidity' advises against them

― and what, Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:35 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.dhs.ca.gov/dcdc/cm/950714CM.htm

― and what, Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:35 (eighteen years ago)

superior thread:

Master Cleanse For Bloated Addicts

― gr8080, Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:37 (eighteen years ago)

enema cocktails!

― Rubyredd, Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:43 (eighteen years ago)

This thread reminds me of all the crazy weight loss spam I've been getting in my email lately. "LOSE TWENTY POUNDS FROM YOUR COLON!!!" It kind of makes me wonder what the authors of these spam messages think a colon does.

― Sara R-C, Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:43 (eighteen years ago)

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