Great Real Names

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Real names of people that are just brilliant. Brought on by hearing the Ugandan Foreign Minister on the Radio, his name is James Woodpecker Bulo, which is pretty good if you as me.

Ed (dali), Thursday, 24 April 2003 05:56 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:02 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

(ahem)

M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:03 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

ThatFuckerJessHarvell

Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:05 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

okay i made that one up

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Booz Wierdsma exists

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:17 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

alain robbe-grillet ownz enough imo

Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:25 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Coco Crisp
Samantha Bond
David Duchovny, but only because it fits with "why won't you love me" in that song

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Zinedine Zidane.

James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:40 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Wubbo Ockels = first dutchman in space

ps he is a dick

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 24 April 2003 07:37 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

posting this anonymously as these people might just google sometime

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

A Nonymous (Jack Battery-Pack), Thursday, 24 April 2003 08:15 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

He was a great authour, too.

fletrejet, Thursday, 24 April 2003 10:05 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I knew a dude once named Ziad Ziady. Also, my step-sister's freshman-year roommate in college was supposed to be someone named Ojabberin Zayden Powpack, but she never showed.

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

As for bad names, a guy in my office just named his new son Laws0n K1ncade H3adl3y. Blech! So snobby sounding!

Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Come on down top Ukranian footballer, Semen Semenko

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

There's a lawyers office I came across once when I was lost (wrong bus route) the partners' names were Hartless and Rich.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:50 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Spanish teacher at my middle school = AN1TA D1CK. Her husband's name = H4RRY D1CK. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

God Shamgod
Lucky Smalls works where I do...haven't met him.

buttch (Oops), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

There's a hockey player named Miroslav Satan.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

Nemo (JND), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Rocco Baldelli

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:06 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Sometimes I love my job, like yesterday when I registered a student named Bo Ning. Shouldn't laugh, but gotta really...

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:16 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

At uni, I knew someone named Peter Handler. He didn't even understand why people giggled when they heard his name. He was such a sweet guy, too!

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

me.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:22 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

martin, I like your name!

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:25 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Hmong names are great! Friend of mine student-taught in a school with heavy Hmong population and there was a kid named Bee Lor, who signed his name with a little cartoon bee, and I think actually did go out and learn a few things about bees, ie "bee lore." Also many Hmong kids have English names that are still literal and descriptive: the girl named "Pretty Flower [xx]"

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:26 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh shit how could I forget. When I was a teenager I had a friend named Pendleton Brewster Wickersham III. Nice kid too. Probably a nice guy by now, but it's been a long time...

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:28 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

he's like the rai beefheart prince!

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i actually really like the name Martin Skidmore. It sounds noble. Sir Martin Skidmore.

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 15:30 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Ransom Williams, an old friend of mine. Sounds like a black detective character in a series of mysery novels.

Scott Kos (Scott Kos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Best with his actual rank/title: Brigadier General Sylavanus Taco Gilbert (recently fired commandant of the US Air Force Academy).

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Sorry, make that Sylvanus Taco Gilbert III. Really.

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:13 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Peter Peters, not sure who he is, but he was the keynote speaker at a Prayer Breakfast round these parts.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:16 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Doing some data entry I ran across "Oral Honeycutt"...

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:19 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I paid $30 for that one time...

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:20 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

You got ripped off.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:21 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I know. But I did get the clap. Sort of an added value thing.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:24 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

me to thread!

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:36 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I just saw another one: Dune Combs

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:13 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Thanks Chris and possibly Tep (he might have meant the other martin). Can't say I'm so keen on Skidmore myself, but I'm used to it.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

hey Martin, Martin is a cool name regardless of which of us he was talking about. It's a good thing at least one Chris thinks that.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:37 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I like your name too, Martin. It's got a nice rhythm to it.

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

There was a boatbuilding expert on telly today called Brian Labyrinth.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

old schoolmate: April Blue
friend who blogs: Gwenda Bond

M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Best Names

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

ron (ron), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:15 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

There was some important politician or someone back in the mid-nineties who was called Tokyo Sexwhale. And more recently, I was looking through my old school's Friends Reunited page searching for someone and I saw this girl from the class of 2000 who was called Jo King.

Chriddof (Chriddof), Friday, 25 April 2003 11:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Names of a couple I encountered while data entering:

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 09:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

sexwhale is pronounced sex - while (with just a hint of the wahl from mark wahlberg) - eh

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Pirkka-Pekka Petelius

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0676194/

The beaver is not the bad guy (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 27 December 2016 15:34 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

https://twitter.com/buffalomeat10

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 1 February 2017 19:44 (one year ago) Permalink

Timothy Beaglehole

ogmor, Friday, 10 February 2017 10:48 (one year ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

when my dad was younger he was obsessed with this dude he found in the phonebook named Goldfish T. Bogglesworth

the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Sunday, 5 March 2017 14:03 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Lord Strange of Knockin.

Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 18:54 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Guto Bebb

Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Thursday, 9 March 2017 19:24 (eleven months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Has Adolph Caesar been mentioned? He was just in a Tales From the Darkside episode I was watching. Not sure if it's a "great" real name but it's certainly got a kind of braggadocio vibe to it.

emil.y, Friday, 14 April 2017 21:51 (ten months ago) Permalink

from a court pleading @ my wife's work:

Jackual Barbee

andrew m., Wednesday, 19 April 2017 20:57 (nine months ago) Permalink

Phetlada Third just came up in my fault ticket queue.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 20 April 2017 00:41 (nine months ago) Permalink

...it now occurs to me with the last 2 Ive mentioned in this thread that they could be burner-phone names made up with a name generator. I wonder.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 20 April 2017 00:45 (nine months ago) Permalink

Rusty Justice

+ +, Friday, 21 April 2017 21:37 (nine months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Edsel W. Ford, aviation inspector for the FAA. I rather want to say "Birth certificate or GTFO," but Henry Ford did have a son named Edsel B. Ford.

Diana Fire (j.lu), Wednesday, 10 May 2017 17:10 (nine months ago) Permalink

following up on the above, Boats Botes won the People's choice; good write up:

http://www.nameoftheyear.com/2017/04/2017-name-of-year-elite-eight.html

your cognitive privilege (El Tomboto), Wednesday, 10 May 2017 19:24 (nine months ago) Permalink

god andy brandy casagrande iv is killing me

-_- (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 10 May 2017 19:26 (nine months ago) Permalink

"Ezi Rider is an actor, known for Messidor (1979)."

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1559796/

devvvine, Wednesday, 10 May 2017 19:37 (nine months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Robert Knepper. It means 'Robert's fucking' in Denmark.

Frederik B, Friday, 2 June 2017 18:45 (eight months ago) Permalink

in the news: Reality Winner

-_- (jim in vancouver), Monday, 5 June 2017 22:53 (eight months ago) Permalink

promising young Pakistani cricketer Fakhar Zaman

― ZESTY O'PRIDE (imago), Saturday, 30 January 2016 23:16 (one year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And here he is!

imago, Wednesday, 14 June 2017 14:42 (eight months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Serene Moo

+ +, Friday, 28 July 2017 15:30 (six months ago) Permalink

Not sure how real this one is, but nonetheless. . .
http://i.imgur.com/MR6KxFW.jpg

he doesn't need to be racist about it though. (Austin), Friday, 28 July 2017 18:25 (six months ago) Permalink

Hung Pham
Reem Abbass (for the Scottish among you)

-_- (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 3 August 2017 16:10 (six months ago) Permalink

Philip Bump is a correspondent for The Post based in New York City. Follow @pbump

Wewlay Bewlay (Tom D.), Monday, 14 August 2017 16:32 (six months ago) Permalink

in the news: Reality Winner

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Monday, June 5, 2017 6:53 PM (two months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is the one i keep thinking about. wtf

flappy bird, Monday, 14 August 2017 17:29 (six months ago) Permalink

so there's an actor named French Tickner

Neanderthal, Sunday, 20 August 2017 15:04 (five months ago) Permalink

just two letters late there

flappy bird, Sunday, 20 August 2017 20:45 (five months ago) Permalink

wow

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 30 August 2017 13:13 (five months ago) Permalink

Ursula Goodenough

Glengarry Glen Marshall (Old Lunch), Thursday, 31 August 2017 18:28 (five months ago) Permalink

^ starts off strong and then just gives up

flappy bird, Thursday, 31 August 2017 19:03 (five months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

http://www.gostanford.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=11616

thred locking person, u kno what 2 do

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 25 September 2017 22:35 (four months ago) Permalink

• Full name is Thunder Justice Keck

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 26 September 2017 00:02 (four months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O'Connell[1] (born December 19, 2001),[2] known professionally as Billie Eilish, is an American pop singer signed to Interscope Records.

the old rugged crocs (unregistered), Thursday, 19 October 2017 18:19 (three months ago) Permalink

I recently met a guy named Melchi0r Balthazar. Thought that was p solid tbh

tobo73, Thursday, 19 October 2017 18:39 (three months ago) Permalink

I recently met a guy named Melchi0r Balthazar. Thought that was p solid tbh

tobo73, Thursday, 19 October 2017 18:40 (three months ago) Permalink

maybe you both met the same guy?

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 19 October 2017 18:41 (three months ago) Permalink

I'm not sure if this is Great, but it doesn't seem abysmal, so here it goes

Shadee Star

El Tomboto, Friday, 20 October 2017 16:30 (three months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

a player called Angus Beith just scored for Stranraer

thirst trap your hare (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 2 December 2017 16:42 (two months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuna_Altuna

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 9 January 2018 14:31 (one month ago) Permalink

Man King

khat person (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 17:09 (one month ago) Permalink

241 today

Tommy Chipchase
Madison Marriage

calzino, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 14:22 (three weeks ago) Permalink

otm

your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 24 January 2018 14:23 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Hery Rajaonarimampianina

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Saturday, 3 February 2018 21:59 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Elmerjun Hilario

(wedding singer, The Voice contestant, Marit Larsen superfan)

how to diss a peer completely (unregistered), Monday, 12 February 2018 20:54 (six days ago) Permalink

larry brilliant

Karl Malone, Monday, 12 February 2018 20:55 (six days ago) Permalink

Susan Slaughter (trumpeter)

how to diss a peer completely (unregistered), Monday, 12 February 2018 20:56 (six days ago) Permalink


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