Great Real Names

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Real names of people that are just brilliant. Brought on by hearing the Ugandan Foreign Minister on the Radio, his name is James Woodpecker Bulo, which is pretty good if you as me.

Ed (dali), Thursday, 24 April 2003 05:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

(ahem)

M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:03 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

ThatFuckerJessHarvell

Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:05 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

okay i made that one up

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:10 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Booz Wierdsma exists

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:12 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

alain robbe-grillet ownz enough imo

Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Coco Crisp
Samantha Bond
David Duchovny, but only because it fits with "why won't you love me" in that song

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:31 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Zinedine Zidane.

James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:40 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Wubbo Ockels = first dutchman in space

ps he is a dick

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 24 April 2003 07:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

posting this anonymously as these people might just google sometime

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

A Nonymous (Jack Battery-Pack), Thursday, 24 April 2003 08:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

He was a great authour, too.

fletrejet, Thursday, 24 April 2003 10:05 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I knew a dude once named Ziad Ziady. Also, my step-sister's freshman-year roommate in college was supposed to be someone named Ojabberin Zayden Powpack, but she never showed.

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

As for bad names, a guy in my office just named his new son Laws0n K1ncade H3adl3y. Blech! So snobby sounding!

Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Come on down top Ukranian footballer, Semen Semenko

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There's a lawyers office I came across once when I was lost (wrong bus route) the partners' names were Hartless and Rich.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Spanish teacher at my middle school = AN1TA D1CK. Her husband's name = H4RRY D1CK. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

God Shamgod
Lucky Smalls works where I do...haven't met him.

buttch (Oops), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There's a hockey player named Miroslav Satan.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

Nemo (JND), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:59 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rocco Baldelli

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Sometimes I love my job, like yesterday when I registered a student named Bo Ning. Shouldn't laugh, but gotta really...

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

At uni, I knew someone named Peter Handler. He didn't even understand why people giggled when they heard his name. He was such a sweet guy, too!

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:18 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

me.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:22 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

martin, I like your name!

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hmong names are great! Friend of mine student-taught in a school with heavy Hmong population and there was a kid named Bee Lor, who signed his name with a little cartoon bee, and I think actually did go out and learn a few things about bees, ie "bee lore." Also many Hmong kids have English names that are still literal and descriptive: the girl named "Pretty Flower [xx]"

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Oh shit how could I forget. When I was a teenager I had a friend named Pendleton Brewster Wickersham III. Nice kid too. Probably a nice guy by now, but it's been a long time...

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:28 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:46 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

he's like the rai beefheart prince!

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i actually really like the name Martin Skidmore. It sounds noble. Sir Martin Skidmore.

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 15:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Ransom Williams, an old friend of mine. Sounds like a black detective character in a series of mysery novels.

Scott Kos (Scott Kos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Best with his actual rank/title: Brigadier General Sylavanus Taco Gilbert (recently fired commandant of the US Air Force Academy).

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:12 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Sorry, make that Sylvanus Taco Gilbert III. Really.

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Peter Peters, not sure who he is, but he was the keynote speaker at a Prayer Breakfast round these parts.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Doing some data entry I ran across "Oral Honeycutt"...

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I paid $30 for that one time...

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:20 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

You got ripped off.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:21 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I know. But I did get the clap. Sort of an added value thing.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:24 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

me to thread!

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:36 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I just saw another one: Dune Combs

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Thanks Chris and possibly Tep (he might have meant the other martin). Can't say I'm so keen on Skidmore myself, but I'm used to it.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:27 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

hey Martin, Martin is a cool name regardless of which of us he was talking about. It's a good thing at least one Chris thinks that.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I like your name too, Martin. It's got a nice rhythm to it.

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There was a boatbuilding expert on telly today called Brian Labyrinth.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:59 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

old schoolmate: April Blue
friend who blogs: Gwenda Bond

M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Best Names

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

ron (ron), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There was some important politician or someone back in the mid-nineties who was called Tokyo Sexwhale. And more recently, I was looking through my old school's Friends Reunited page searching for someone and I saw this girl from the class of 2000 who was called Jo King.

Chriddof (Chriddof), Friday, 25 April 2003 11:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Names of a couple I encountered while data entering:

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 09:27 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

sexwhale is pronounced sex - while (with just a hint of the wahl from mark wahlberg) - eh

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hery Rajaonarimampianina

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Saturday, 3 February 2018 21:59 (three months ago) Permalink

Elmerjun Hilario

(wedding singer, The Voice contestant, Marit Larsen superfan)

how to diss a peer completely (unregistered), Monday, 12 February 2018 20:54 (three months ago) Permalink

larry brilliant

Karl Malone, Monday, 12 February 2018 20:55 (three months ago) Permalink

Susan Slaughter (trumpeter)

how to diss a peer completely (unregistered), Monday, 12 February 2018 20:56 (three months ago) Permalink

Bram de Win

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 15:16 (three months ago) Permalink

Taco Williams

simple. elegant. sharp. dangerous?

andrew m., Wednesday, 21 February 2018 15:57 (three months ago) Permalink

Tramayne Bone

andrew m., Wednesday, 21 February 2018 15:59 (three months ago) Permalink

Jazzi Barnum-Bobb is an English footballer who plays as a defender. Wikipedia
Height: 1.75 m
Current team: Newport County A.F.C. (#14 / Defender)

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Thursday, 22 February 2018 17:11 (three months ago) Permalink

Harlem-Eddy Gnohéré (born 21 February 1988) is a French professional footballer who plays as a striker for Romanian club Steaua București.

anvil, Friday, 23 February 2018 07:32 (three months ago) Permalink

and his team mate!

Dennis Man (born 26 August 1998) is a Romanian professional footballer who plays for Steaua București as an attacking midfielder or a forward.

anvil, Friday, 23 February 2018 07:33 (three months ago) Permalink

Philippe Larry Volodymyrovych Hamilton-Rollings

anvil, Saturday, 3 March 2018 13:45 (two months ago) Permalink

Footballers really have this sewn up

anvil, Saturday, 3 March 2018 13:50 (two months ago) Permalink

Came here to Ctrl-F Oliphant Chuckerbutty and was not disappointed.

mick signals, Saturday, 3 March 2018 16:53 (two months ago) Permalink

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saul_Goodman_(percussionist)

Moo Vaughn, Saturday, 3 March 2018 16:58 (two months ago) Permalink

https://i.imgur.com/OuPvRT8.jpg

F# A# (∞), Sunday, 4 March 2018 17:23 (two months ago) Permalink

https://i.imgur.com/OuPvRT8.jpg

F# A# (∞), Sunday, 4 March 2018 17:23 (two months ago) Permalink

Annabella Gloria Philomena Sciorra

johnny crunch, Saturday, 10 March 2018 14:54 (two months ago) Permalink

omg xpost

willem, Saturday, 10 March 2018 15:29 (two months ago) Permalink

Saw a guy behind the counter at a Jakarta kiosk tonight whose first name was Dude

willem, Saturday, 10 March 2018 15:30 (two months ago) Permalink

Parents were no doubt big Big Lebowski fans

Whiney On The Moog (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 10 March 2018 16:09 (two months ago) Permalink

George Hagegeorge

how to diss a peer completely (unregistered), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 20:00 (two months ago) Permalink

i've just been copied into an email with Jul1a Cae5ar

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 20 March 2018 10:00 (two months ago) Permalink

Just got an email from someone called €st0nia Gr@v€s which is goth af.

Wag1 Shree Rajneesh (ShariVari), Monday, 26 March 2018 14:11 (one month ago) Permalink

loved their second EP

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 26 March 2018 14:28 (one month ago) Permalink

Just discovered today that the guy in charge of the Onion is called CHAD NACKERS

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 05:11 (one month ago) Permalink

Armie Hammer

flappy bird, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 05:21 (one month ago) Permalink

p good

flappy bird, Friday, 30 March 2018 04:14 (one month ago) Permalink

We used to have a local sheriff whose name was Dude Cochran.

Town I grew up in had county procecuter who went as Scott A. Hole on his campaign signs.

My favorite though was this older guy I met whose name was Mexico Justice Jr.

earlnash, Friday, 30 March 2018 04:47 (one month ago) Permalink

Devoid Couch seems like it is from a post on BARTSIMSONREAL

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 30 March 2018 22:35 (one month ago) Permalink

lol

flappy bird, Saturday, 31 March 2018 01:08 (one month ago) Permalink

i miss bartsimsonreal. is it archived anywhere? same for marijuana simpson. that was fun. 2014 man. halcyon days of everything going wrong all the time

flappy bird, Saturday, 31 March 2018 01:08 (one month ago) Permalink

Claria Horn Boom

http://www.kentucky.com/news/local/counties/fayette-county/article208524209.html

earlnash, Friday, 13 April 2018 23:32 (one month ago) Permalink

that is a great name

flappy bird, Saturday, 14 April 2018 02:06 (one month ago) Permalink

Bunni Pounds

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 14 April 2018 08:24 (one month ago) Permalink

Haiting Yu

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 19:16 (four weeks ago) Permalink

:D

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 21:37 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Classic.

(Henry) Green container bin with face (Tom D.), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 21:40 (four weeks ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Googleproofing because discovered via work, but Kreshn1k Ahmetaj might be the most satisfying name I've ever encountered.

Love Theme From Oh God! You Devil (Old Lunch), Thursday, 10 May 2018 12:26 (one week ago) Permalink

i was reading an article about real estate lobbyists trying to torpedo tenant protections here in oregon, and jesus christ their lobbyist's name is literally "Shaun Jillions"

reality jumped the shark two seasons ago and needs to be cancelled

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 10 May 2018 14:27 (one week ago) Permalink

that is a good one

tobo73, Thursday, 10 May 2018 15:25 (one week ago) Permalink

m@rin@ f0rc3, which sounds like a v low-stakes show about cops who patrol the waterfront

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 10 May 2018 15:28 (one week ago) Permalink

Eunice Groark

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 12 May 2018 06:22 (one week ago) Permalink

Roscoe Klinck

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Monday, 14 May 2018 20:02 (one week ago) Permalink

Perdita Rose Annunziata Weeks (born 25 December 1985) is a British actress.
She is the younger sister of Honeysuckle Weeks and the older sister of Rollo Weeks, both actors.

Wes Brodicus, Friday, 18 May 2018 07:34 (five days ago) Permalink

Jutta Hipp

(disappointingly pronounced Yutta though)

Josefa, Friday, 18 May 2018 14:09 (five days ago) Permalink


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