Great Real Names

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Real names of people that are just brilliant. Brought on by hearing the Ugandan Foreign Minister on the Radio, his name is James Woodpecker Bulo, which is pretty good if you as me.

Ed (dali), Thursday, 24 April 2003 05:56 (twenty years ago) link

Rufus Longstockings

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:02 (twenty years ago) link


M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:03 (twenty years ago) link


Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:05 (twenty years ago) link

okay i made that one up

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:10 (twenty years ago) link

Booz Wierdsma exists

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:12 (twenty years ago) link

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:17 (twenty years ago) link

alain robbe-grillet ownz enough imo

Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:25 (twenty years ago) link

Coco Crisp
Samantha Bond
David Duchovny, but only because it fits with "why won't you love me" in that song

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:31 (twenty years ago) link

Zinedine Zidane.

James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:40 (twenty years ago) link

Wubbo Ockels = first dutchman in space

ps he is a dick

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 24 April 2003 07:37 (twenty years ago) link

posting this anonymously as these people might just google sometime

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

A Nonymous (Jack Battery-Pack), Thursday, 24 April 2003 08:15 (twenty years ago) link

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

He was a great authour, too.

fletrejet, Thursday, 24 April 2003 10:05 (twenty years ago) link

I knew a dude once named Ziad Ziady. Also, my step-sister's freshman-year roommate in college was supposed to be someone named Ojabberin Zayden Powpack, but she never showed.

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:45 (twenty years ago) link

As for bad names, a guy in my office just named his new son Laws0n K1ncade H3adl3y. Blech! So snobby sounding!

Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (twenty years ago) link

Come on down top Ukranian footballer, Semen Semenko

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (twenty years ago) link

There's a lawyers office I came across once when I was lost (wrong bus route) the partners' names were Hartless and Rich.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:50 (twenty years ago) link

Spanish teacher at my middle school = AN1TA D1CK. Her husband's name = H4RRY D1CK. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:51 (twenty years ago) link

God Shamgod
Lucky Smalls works where I do...haven't met him.

buttch (Oops), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:48 (twenty years ago) link

There's a hockey player named Miroslav Satan.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

Nemo (JND), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:59 (twenty years ago) link

Rocco Baldelli

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:06 (twenty years ago) link

Sometimes I love my job, like yesterday when I registered a student named Bo Ning. Shouldn't laugh, but gotta really...

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:16 (twenty years ago) link

At uni, I knew someone named Peter Handler. He didn't even understand why people giggled when they heard his name. He was such a sweet guy, too!

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:18 (twenty years ago) link


martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:22 (twenty years ago) link

Rufus Longstockings

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:23 (twenty years ago) link

martin, I like your name!

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:25 (twenty years ago) link

Hmong names are great! Friend of mine student-taught in a school with heavy Hmong population and there was a kid named Bee Lor, who signed his name with a little cartoon bee, and I think actually did go out and learn a few things about bees, ie "bee lore." Also many Hmong kids have English names that are still literal and descriptive: the girl named "Pretty Flower [xx]"

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:26 (twenty years ago) link

Oh shit how could I forget. When I was a teenager I had a friend named Pendleton Brewster Wickersham III. Nice kid too. Probably a nice guy by now, but it's been a long time...

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:28 (twenty years ago) link

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:46 (twenty years ago) link

he's like the rai beefheart prince!

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:49 (twenty years ago) link

i actually really like the name Martin Skidmore. It sounds noble. Sir Martin Skidmore.

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 15:30 (twenty years ago) link

Ransom Williams, an old friend of mine. Sounds like a black detective character in a series of mysery novels.

Scott Kos (Scott Kos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:29 (twenty years ago) link

Best with his actual rank/title: Brigadier General Sylavanus Taco Gilbert (recently fired commandant of the US Air Force Academy).

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:12 (twenty years ago) link

Sorry, make that Sylvanus Taco Gilbert III. Really.

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:13 (twenty years ago) link

Peter Peters, not sure who he is, but he was the keynote speaker at a Prayer Breakfast round these parts.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:16 (twenty years ago) link

Doing some data entry I ran across "Oral Honeycutt"...

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:19 (twenty years ago) link

I paid $30 for that one time...

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:20 (twenty years ago) link

You got ripped off.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:21 (twenty years ago) link

I know. But I did get the clap. Sort of an added value thing.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:24 (twenty years ago) link

me to thread!

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:36 (twenty years ago) link

I just saw another one: Dune Combs

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:13 (twenty years ago) link

Thanks Chris and possibly Tep (he might have meant the other martin). Can't say I'm so keen on Skidmore myself, but I'm used to it.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:27 (twenty years ago) link

hey Martin, Martin is a cool name regardless of which of us he was talking about. It's a good thing at least one Chris thinks that.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:37 (twenty years ago) link

I like your name too, Martin. It's got a nice rhythm to it.

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:48 (twenty years ago) link

There was a boatbuilding expert on telly today called Brian Labyrinth.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:59 (twenty years ago) link

old schoolmate: April Blue
friend who blogs: Gwenda Bond

M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:00 (twenty years ago) link

Best Names

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

ron (ron), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:15 (twenty years ago) link

There was some important politician or someone back in the mid-nineties who was called Tokyo Sexwhale. And more recently, I was looking through my old school's Friends Reunited page searching for someone and I saw this girl from the class of 2000 who was called Jo King.

Chriddof (Chriddof), Friday, 25 April 2003 11:51 (twenty years ago) link

Names of a couple I encountered while data entering:

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 09:27 (twenty years ago) link

sexwhale is pronounced sex - while (with just a hint of the wahl from mark wahlberg) - eh

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:00 (twenty years ago) link

For some reason I’ve begun receiving spam from the Epoch Times newspaper, edited-in-chief by Jasper Fakkert. My man is doing a great job.

tobo73, Wednesday, 28 June 2023 01:50 (seven months ago) link

Prosper Mérimée

budo jeru, Friday, 30 June 2023 04:15 (seven months ago) link

Pete1an P0st
Ing Ing 0ng

Both in the space of 5 mins.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 3 July 2023 04:20 (seven months ago) link

Jethro Wookey

ionjusit (P. Flick), Friday, 7 July 2023 18:01 (seven months ago) link

Jade Ball

ionjusit (P. Flick), Friday, 7 July 2023 18:02 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Speranza Scappucci

Gerard Grisey Funk (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 21 July 2023 22:42 (seven months ago) link

Chet Flippo

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Sunday, 23 July 2023 02:19 (seven months ago) link

Helpys Feliz

underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Saturday, 5 August 2023 00:37 (six months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Princess Cheese!

The Banshees of Ed Sheeran (Leee), Friday, 8 September 2023 22:44 (five months ago) link

Rodolfo Maximiliano Sarzo Lavieille Grande Ruiz Payret y Chaumont

Monthly Python (Tom D.), Saturday, 9 September 2023 23:05 (five months ago) link

Monthly Python (Tom D.), Tuesday, 19 September 2023 08:51 (five months ago) link

AKA people whose names sound like the b-sides to obscure British psychedelic singles ca. 1967/1968...

Arthur H. Peppercorn

I Left My Harp In Sam Frank's Disco (Tom D.), Sunday, 24 September 2023 16:24 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

Harry Buckoke

deep wubs and tribral rhythms (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 2 November 2023 22:55 (three months ago) link

Augustus Egg

My Prelapsarian Baby (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 10 November 2023 22:23 (three months ago) link

Anemona Hartocollis

m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Friday, 10 November 2023 23:00 (three months ago) link

Robert Fripp's guitar tech Biff Blumfungagnge

Kate (rushomancy), Monday, 13 November 2023 17:27 (three months ago) link

Sorry, I misspelled that. It's actually Blumfumgagnge.

Kate (rushomancy), Monday, 13 November 2023 17:28 (three months ago) link

Okay so apparently "Fflyn" is like the actual name of a human person and not a Hobbit or Disney fairy or Vulcan or Narnian faun or whatever.

I give up. I. Just. Give. Up. Carry on without me.

Oh I believe in Yetis' Day (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 17 November 2023 12:59 (three months ago) link

Ff- is a pretty standard way to begin a Welsh name.

Madchen, Friday, 17 November 2023 13:22 (three months ago) link

It makes more of a regular f sound since a single f sounds more like a v.

Shifty Henry’s Swing Club (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 17 November 2023 13:40 (three months ago) link

So ff is a letter in its own right, after f and before g and ng, which follows g.

Shifty Henry’s Swing Club (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 17 November 2023 13:42 (three months ago) link

Ok. Apologies for the flippant tone.

(But privately I do kinda sorta want to believe that hobbits and leprechauns walk among us.)

Oh I believe in Yetis' Day (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 17 November 2023 14:08 (three months ago) link

No worries. I believe Welsh was one of the languages Tolkien was inspired by when he came up with Elvish.

Shifty Henry’s Swing Club (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 17 November 2023 14:40 (three months ago) link

Okay so for some reason I was googling former Vice President Daniel Tompkins.*

Found this wikigem:

Mangle Minthorne, an assistant alderman of New York City. The couple had eight children, including Arietta Minthorn Tompkins (born July 31, 1800), who married a son of Smith Thompson in 1818, and (Mangle) Minthorne Tompkins (December)

*= Probably because Christmas is coming and Daniel D. Tompkins is mentioned in "Miracle in 34th Street," which is one of the very few Christmas movies that I find even tolerable.

Oh I believe in Yetis' Day (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 22 November 2023 02:05 (three months ago) link

Okay sorry for the digression but seriously: Mangle Minthorne.

Mangle. Minthorne.

Of the New York Minthornes.

Not to be confused with Mangle Minthorne Tompkins, who was a completely different New York politician.

Oh I believe in Yetis' Day (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 22 November 2023 02:08 (three months ago) link

Gay Wimp

Kansas State Census, 1915

— Actual Names (@ActualNames1) November 23, 2023

butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Friday, 24 November 2023 02:53 (three months ago) link

abysmal real names

Josefa, Friday, 24 November 2023 03:08 (three months ago) link that mint/horne or minth/orne?

m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Friday, 24 November 2023 06:32 (three months ago) link

Cuthbert Girdlestone

Tapioca by Jean Sibelius (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 8 December 2023 02:14 (two months ago) link

R4ndy M4ss4gee

Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 10 December 2023 20:43 (two months ago) link

Chiquita Seaborne

CthulhuLululemon (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 11 December 2023 22:49 (two months ago) link

Ulva Pippy

Nine Inch Males (Tom D.), Tuesday, 19 December 2023 21:35 (two months ago) link

Marcel Peeper

Nine Inch Males (Tom D.), Wednesday, 20 December 2023 09:54 (two months ago) link

budo jeru, Wednesday, 20 December 2023 15:15 (two months ago) link

I may have mentioned that I have a friend whose name is S e r e n e T i c k l e. I only just now learned that she's from P o u l t o n le F y l d e, which just makes it better.

CthulhuLululemon (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 26 December 2023 04:59 (one month ago) link

Bailey Zappe

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 26 December 2023 20:16 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

Cherokee Pilkington

Bulky Pee Pants (Tom D.), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 07:28 (one month ago) link

Enjoyed watching Thelonius Aasgard playing alongside Becket Godo for Wigan the other week.

Piedie Gimbel, Tuesday, 16 January 2024 09:45 (one month ago) link

mookieproof, Saturday, 20 January 2024 23:36 (one month ago) link


anvil, Saturday, 20 January 2024 23:52 (one month ago) link


immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Sunday, 21 January 2024 00:12 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

Avalon Fast
Kansas Bowling

Two women filmmakers

nickn, Thursday, 8 February 2024 07:13 (two weeks ago) link

Today I learned that Mark Meadows has a lawyer named George J. Terwilliger III.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 8 February 2024 13:53 (two weeks ago) link

Richard Sheridan Patrick Michael Aloysius Franklin Bowling

The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Monday, 12 February 2024 10:24 (one week ago) link

one of the developers of human in-vitro fertilisation was called Patrick Steptoe - a name I thought was a fictional creation by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson until today!

Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 February 2024 09:14 (one week ago) link

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