Great Real Names

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

ps he is a dick

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

He was a great authour, too.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

Marnix De Cat

what a corker! v apt that he's a countertenor too https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/p__/images/e/e8/Felix_The_Cat.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/350?cb=20171228095408&path-prefix=protagonist

Final Four:

—Storm Duck
—Pope Thrower
—Jizyah Shorts
—Chastity Gooch-Fant

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--K3_RATwV--/c_scale,dpr_2.0,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/i7ivorfl7uiolw5x96db.png

pouring one out for general booty

Reading a biography of Lester B. Pearson, within the space of a few pages I was introduced to:

Gladwyn Jebb
J. W. Pickersgill
Hume Wrong

The ability to cook and bake with the liquid from canned beans was discovered only two years ago by Goose Wohlt, a vegan American software engineer who was attempting to create eggless meringues for his mother's Passover seder. Wohlt found that the liquid from garbanzo beans, or chickpeas, could be whipped and used as an egg replacer. He called the bean liquid aquafaba

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nestor_El_Maestro

As the major title winners struggled to take advantage, Johnson was joined on five under by relatively unknown Americans Harold Varner III (67) and Luke List (69) and Thailand's Jazz Janewattananond (67).

that's 3 for 3 imo

Dr Marijuana Pepsi

http://joy105.com/woman-named-marijuana-pepsi-who-refused-to-change-her-name-earns-her-ph-d-after-completing-dissertation-on-black-names/

kudos

it's the "Dad, why was I named Rose?" "Because your mother loves Roses" meme come to life

Hello, my name is Tito Bosnia. In the last few days, the identity of my name has been viral and widely spoken in the media and social media in Bosnia-Herzegovina

First of all, I would like to confirm that my name is original and certified in my Certificate of Birth

— bosnia tito (@iybos) June 30, 2019

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruud_Brood

Ruud Brood, manager of NAC Breda

Had an email from R0xy Rhodes.

Skip Luckadoo

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yvonne_Mosquito

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache

Ah 'hink ah went tae school wi' that cunt.

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/sherm-poppen-a-grandfather-of-snowboarding-dies-at-89/2019/08/11/4ebbc8dc-bc35-11e9-b873-63ace636af08_story.html

https://www.uva.nl/en/profile/j.c.hermes

joke hermes

one time I worked in a bank and there were index cards for "June Bugge" and "Shona Dick" - both married names, even.

so before she got married she was never Shona Dick?

https://www.press.uillinois.edu/books/images/9780252082269_lg.jpg

Kind of unrelated, but in French, Sean Connery is hilarious because Connery sounds like 'connerie', i.e. idiocy, cuntishness, a fuck-up or a trifle.

https://www.uva.nl/en/profile/j.c.hermes🕸

joke hermes

l1bertad v1tal

A1r J0rdan L0uis Qu1nto

so before she got married she was never Shona Dick?
― mick signals

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/aug/31/opera-singer-glyndbourne-self-taught-dvd-vuvu-mpofu

vuvu mpofu

TOday's Washington Post features a letter to the editor from one Thankful Vanderstar.

guto bebb

Pat Ham

Ruud Sweering

When you sort a list of players in Major League Baseball history alphabetically by first name, this is the full list of all the players between Simon Pond and Sol Carter.

It is not a doctored list. It is, however, an important list. pic.twitter.com/zl6fX2Ipku

— Grant Brisbee (@GrantBrisbee) September 14, 2019

DAMN

Close thread

huge fighting baseball energy

https://relevantmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-05-at-9.32.04-AM.png

Sleve McDichael, the man, the myth, the ledeng

the opening credits of "The Chinese Stuntman", which I was watching again because I love the theme music, note that the film guest stars "Ban Rando". Their parents may or may not have named them that. Good movie.

https://youtu.be/XJ2tQUaDxaE?t=263

Tytti Typpurainen

lol i was just coming here to post that

From the Marshall Efron obit:

Alfa-Betty Olsen

xxp most of my relatives and my wife's relatives and the relatives of people I grew up with were from Finland and so were always making up fake finnish names that sound vaguely or explicitly obscene because so many of them sort of sound that way already, Tytti being a perfect example.

when my dad was a young reporter, his beat covered an area with a lot of Finno-Americans. The bureau concocted an imaginary troublemaker named Wayno Savalampi.

https://reading.academia.edu/JumblyGrindrod

Son of Professor Peter Grindrod CBE, apparently. According to his oddly thorough Wikipedia entry the family has four children, "Tom, Chris, Jumbly and Sophie", which raises all kinds of questions.

It certainly does!

this is vastly more satisfying than black sheep

"she was always sort of the jumbly grindrod"