Great Real Names

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

ps he is a dick

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

He was a great authour, too.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

Just made an appoinment with an orthopedic surgeon called Dr. Barry Jupiter, MD.

do u think when he pees on the toilet seat his wife derisively calls it Drops of Jupiter

AnnMarie Y0ung Papa

Mother Puttfarcken

Xerxes Mazda

With pick #60, @ChicagoFire select midfielder Mitch Guitar from @BadgerMSoccer. #SuperDraft pic.twitter.com/UCHdpCnPqS

— Major League Soccer (@MLS) January 21, 2021

Parents shoulda named him Max.

That photo adds a lot to the Mitch Guitar experience

Huge load of goals for FC Den Bosch today from… Jizz Hornkamp

🇳🇱 FOUR goals in a crazy game for Jizz Hornkamp. pic.twitter.com/E7a3WjAWoe

— FotMob (@FotMob) January 30, 2021

not a clean sheet in sight

Actual LOL.

Amazing.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but 'Jizz' doesn't appear to be a common name or diminutive in the Netherlands, so I can't even begin to imagine what his parents were thinking.

I have never heard of it as a name before, but Mr Hornkamp appears not to be the only one. Meet Jizzy-Joy (who's not a witch):

https://jeugdjournaal.nl/artikel/531804-jizzy-joy-is-geen-heks.html

oh, and here is Jizz H. himself, literally complaining about his "dry spell" less than three weeks ago:

https://www.bd.nl/fc-den-bosch/fc-den-bosch-spits-jizz-hornkamp-snakt-naar-nieuwe-doelpunten~a731e108/?referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

(well, to be completely honest with you, it's the newspaper that's referring to that dry spell, but why ruin a good story. can't tell if they're using it in a wink-wink nudge-nudge kind of way, it's completely possible that they're playing it straight. think most of the readership wouldn't have picked up on it either way)

SCOOP: Biden has picked CHIQUITA BROOKS-LaSURE to run the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, the sweeping $1 trillion agency that also oversees the Affordable Care Act, say three people with knowledge of decision. https://t.co/9cKKxGqmQv

— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) February 17, 2021

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faustin-Archange_Touad%C3%A9ra

Sorry if I missed it, but I did a ctrl+F to see if anyone mentioned this one:

Sean Biggerstaff, who played Oliver Wood. A two for one, if you will.

Notker Balbulus, aka Notker the Stammerer

He was contemporary with the fellow monks Tuotilo and Ratpert.[3][4][5]

loved the strip where Ratpert gave Dilbert murine typhus

From a link in the lawyer cat thread:

The British geneticist Oliphant Jackson demonstrated this unequivocally in a most elegant series of classic genetic and radiological experiments in a hospital basement in the 1970s.

I learned about this guy while watching the Netflix documentary about the Challenger shuttle disaster:

https://www.c-span.org/person/?judsonlovingood

Winthrop Cashdollar

so, so close to the right syllables for a "Winchester Cathedral" riff

Velvet Beard

Fartato Olsen
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm11354979/

Fashion Sakala

Océane Babel

Benedict Hollerbach

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Dickshot

that's Ugly Johnny Dickshot to you

Michael Majestic

Susan Spain-Dunk

There is someone at work with the first name of Sword (and also someone with the last name Swords). Very strong.

French Tickner

https://tugs.fandom.com/wiki/French_Tickner

Someone found a credit card in my neighbourhood and posted it to the local Facebook group:

Mr J@y @ Blunt

Puts me in mind of a terrible terrible pun ala that "Late Arrivals" final round that sometimes appears on BBC Radio 4's 'I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue'...

"Please welcome to the Smokers' Ball, Mr. Iain Nigel Alistair Blunt and Mrs. Joy Blunt and their son, I. N. Joy A. Blunt II."

Sorry.

Perhaps Mr. Blunt's folks were fans

Zaila Avant-garde

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jul/09/scripps-national-spelling-bee-2021-zaila-avant-garde-becomes-first-african-american-winner

awesome name

So I've known about this girl for years and it's for being an absolute hoooooper. Already a huge fan and to now see she won the National Spelling Bee?! Incredible. Check out her IG: https://t.co/cgWMA16Y3n

Will probably be our President someday. https://t.co/r1NVxIz23n pic.twitter.com/iU5IKRcd8s

— C.J. Toledano (@CJToledano) July 9, 2021

Many of top Scripps spellers start competing as young as kindergarten. Zaila started only a few years ago, after her father, Jawara Spacetime, watched the bee on TV and realized his daughter's affinity for doing complicated math in her head could translate well to spelling.

Something tells me these are not their birth names.

Forget their names, she is incredible. Her basketball skills are crazy good as well, already. Spelling is like her summer project

I saw in one of the articles about her that her dad changed her last name to Avant-garde as a tribute to John Coltrane

zaila's juggling time sounds are the first asmr videos i get

https://www.discogs.com/artist/3587850-Rubby-Haddock

Innocent Bonke, midfielder for Malmö.

Adonis Stalin Preciado striker for Barcelona, Ecuador also with a powerful energy.