Great Real Names

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Real names of people that are just brilliant. Brought on by hearing the Ugandan Foreign Minister on the Radio, his name is James Woodpecker Bulo, which is pretty good if you as me.

Ed (dali), Thursday, 24 April 2003 05:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink


M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:03 (fifteen years ago) Permalink


Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:05 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

okay i made that one up

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:10 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Booz Wierdsma exists

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:12 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

alain robbe-grillet ownz enough imo

Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Coco Crisp
Samantha Bond
David Duchovny, but only because it fits with "why won't you love me" in that song

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:31 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Zinedine Zidane.

James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:40 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Wubbo Ockels = first dutchman in space

ps he is a dick

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 24 April 2003 07:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

posting this anonymously as these people might just google sometime

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

A Nonymous (Jack Battery-Pack), Thursday, 24 April 2003 08:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

He was a great authour, too.

fletrejet, Thursday, 24 April 2003 10:05 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I knew a dude once named Ziad Ziady. Also, my step-sister's freshman-year roommate in college was supposed to be someone named Ojabberin Zayden Powpack, but she never showed.

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

As for bad names, a guy in my office just named his new son Laws0n K1ncade H3adl3y. Blech! So snobby sounding!

Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Come on down top Ukranian footballer, Semen Semenko

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There's a lawyers office I came across once when I was lost (wrong bus route) the partners' names were Hartless and Rich.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Spanish teacher at my middle school = AN1TA D1CK. Her husband's name = H4RRY D1CK. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

God Shamgod
Lucky Smalls works where I do...haven't met him.

buttch (Oops), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There's a hockey player named Miroslav Satan.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

Nemo (JND), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:59 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rocco Baldelli

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Sometimes I love my job, like yesterday when I registered a student named Bo Ning. Shouldn't laugh, but gotta really...

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

At uni, I knew someone named Peter Handler. He didn't even understand why people giggled when they heard his name. He was such a sweet guy, too!

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:18 (fifteen years ago) Permalink


martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:22 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

martin, I like your name!

hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hmong names are great! Friend of mine student-taught in a school with heavy Hmong population and there was a kid named Bee Lor, who signed his name with a little cartoon bee, and I think actually did go out and learn a few things about bees, ie "bee lore." Also many Hmong kids have English names that are still literal and descriptive: the girl named "Pretty Flower [xx]"

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Oh shit how could I forget. When I was a teenager I had a friend named Pendleton Brewster Wickersham III. Nice kid too. Probably a nice guy by now, but it's been a long time...

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:28 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:46 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

he's like the rai beefheart prince!

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i actually really like the name Martin Skidmore. It sounds noble. Sir Martin Skidmore.

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 15:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Ransom Williams, an old friend of mine. Sounds like a black detective character in a series of mysery novels.

Scott Kos (Scott Kos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Best with his actual rank/title: Brigadier General Sylavanus Taco Gilbert (recently fired commandant of the US Air Force Academy).

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:12 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Sorry, make that Sylvanus Taco Gilbert III. Really.

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Peter Peters, not sure who he is, but he was the keynote speaker at a Prayer Breakfast round these parts.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Doing some data entry I ran across "Oral Honeycutt"...

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I paid $30 for that one time...

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:20 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

You got ripped off.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:21 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I know. But I did get the clap. Sort of an added value thing.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:24 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

me to thread!

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:36 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I just saw another one: Dune Combs

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Thanks Chris and possibly Tep (he might have meant the other martin). Can't say I'm so keen on Skidmore myself, but I'm used to it.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:27 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

hey Martin, Martin is a cool name regardless of which of us he was talking about. It's a good thing at least one Chris thinks that.

martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I like your name too, Martin. It's got a nice rhythm to it.

slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There was a boatbuilding expert on telly today called Brian Labyrinth.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:59 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

old schoolmate: April Blue
friend who blogs: Gwenda Bond

M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Best Names

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

ron (ron), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There was some important politician or someone back in the mid-nineties who was called Tokyo Sexwhale. And more recently, I was looking through my old school's Friends Reunited page searching for someone and I saw this girl from the class of 2000 who was called Jo King.

Chriddof (Chriddof), Friday, 25 April 2003 11:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Names of a couple I encountered while data entering:

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 09:27 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

sexwhale is pronounced sex - while (with just a hint of the wahl from mark wahlberg) - eh

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

mick signals, Wednesday, 3 October 2018 16:12 (five months ago) Permalink


Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 3 October 2018 16:35 (five months ago) Permalink

C. J. Beathard

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Tuesday, 16 October 2018 01:47 (five months ago) Permalink


Madchen, Tuesday, 16 October 2018 17:26 (five months ago) Permalink

Cassius Goens III

calzino, Thursday, 18 October 2018 08:25 (five months ago) Permalink

“Bridgeport was always all-inclusive,” said Borough Council President John Pizza, 74, a lifelong resident.

esby, Tuesday, 23 October 2018 19:52 (four months ago) Permalink

sadly his middle initial is M rather than Q

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 23 October 2018 20:03 (four months ago) Permalink

i wonder if he has kids

i’ll hufflepuff i’ll blow you away (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 23 October 2018 20:08 (four months ago) Permalink

and if so, how they refer to him

i’ll hufflepuff i’ll blow you away (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 23 October 2018 20:08 (four months ago) Permalink

Arcangela Felice Assunta Job Wertmüller von Elgg Español von Braueich

(full name of Lina Wertmüller)

Josefa, Thursday, 25 October 2018 02:41 (four months ago) Permalink

"Lina"'s not even in there!!

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 25 October 2018 07:59 (four months ago) Permalink

"Roger Kneebone, professor of surgical education at Imperial College, London, says young people have so little experience of craft skills that they struggle with anything practical."

brain (krakow), Tuesday, 30 October 2018 08:59 (four months ago) Permalink

Saw that one this morning!

Alma Kirby (Tom D.), Tuesday, 30 October 2018 09:55 (four months ago) Permalink

Gene Poole

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Tuesday, 30 October 2018 17:14 (four months ago) Permalink

He has to be the same Gene Poole that ran for office in Tacoma when I was in HS.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 30 October 2018 17:31 (four months ago) Permalink

A friend of mine went on a few dates with a woman named G4l4driel Fern4ndez.

Andrew "Hit Dice" Clay (PBKR), Tuesday, 30 October 2018 18:52 (four months ago) Permalink

Some choice customer names from my former workplace:

M1chelle Barsal0u Bumpu5
Rud0lf W0lleswinkel
M4x Way
D4n W3rb
Rich4rd Hug
N0ni Gullif0rd
Ulr1ke Mc Crum
D4rlene T1tley

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Tuesday, 30 October 2018 19:34 (four months ago) Permalink

xp are you sure that woman wasn't a computer or android of some kind?

flappy bird, Tuesday, 30 October 2018 22:06 (four months ago) Permalink

Riccardo Wanke

some might say he's in the right biz as well!

calzino, Thursday, 8 November 2018 00:27 (four months ago) Permalink

"Wanke's patient craft and superb use of space make 'Caves' one of the year's stongest debuts."
Nick Cain, The Wire #295/sept08

calzino, Thursday, 8 November 2018 00:28 (four months ago) Permalink

Clodovis Boff

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Friday, 9 November 2018 22:19 (four months ago) Permalink

Lenzy Pipkins

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 14 November 2018 18:22 (four months ago) Permalink

Orval Faubus

flappy bird, Saturday, 17 November 2018 03:25 (four months ago) Permalink

our health/safety contact is called un@ b@ulmer

old yeller-at-clouds (darraghmac), Monday, 26 November 2018 16:10 (three months ago) Permalink

I've recently learned that the surname 'Biggerstaff' exists. Very curious about the etymological origins.

Fantasy Eyelid (Old Lunch), Monday, 26 November 2018 16:15 (three months ago) Permalink

If it’s related to Bickerstaffe, it’s from the name of a village in Lancashire, unfortunately.

Madchen, Monday, 26 November 2018 17:58 (three months ago) Permalink

Well, that's just disappointing.

Fantasy Eyelid (Old Lunch), Monday, 26 November 2018 18:01 (three months ago) Permalink,_Baron_Diplock

j., Monday, 26 November 2018 22:33 (three months ago) Permalink

dude has the james bond apostrophe in his name

twin sinema (voodoo chili), Monday, 26 November 2018 22:39 (three months ago) Permalink

*comma not apostrophe, d'oh!

twin sinema (voodoo chili), Monday, 26 November 2018 22:40 (three months ago) Permalink

Dick Wetmore, jazz fiddler

ian, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 23:36 (three months ago) Permalink

Sir Bentley Purchase, British physician and barrister.

Monica Kindle (Tom D.), Monday, 3 December 2018 15:39 (three months ago) Permalink

what type of car did he drive

We're in 2009—it's time to take risks, (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 3 December 2018 15:40 (three months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Maurer Maurer

macropuente (map), Friday, 21 December 2018 22:53 (three months ago) Permalink

Dear Santa, You better bring me what I want or when I see you I will take your head off. Hoping to get my stuff. Your loving kid, Hexie Bunsclos


— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) December 23, 2018

flappy bird, Sunday, 23 December 2018 22:51 (two months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Stormie Omartian - great name, but could be improved by an apostrophe.

Née Stormie Sherk.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Monday, 14 January 2019 18:24 (two months ago) Permalink

mike tribe

ogmor, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 14:23 (two months ago) Permalink

Tshepang Lekhonkhobe

Only a Factory URL (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 11 February 2019 02:16 (one month ago) Permalink

Rimmer Mulder

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 11 February 2019 08:06 (one month ago) Permalink

Anna Croissant-Rust

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Sunday, 17 February 2019 00:11 (one month ago) Permalink

that is good

flappy bird, Sunday, 17 February 2019 02:10 (one month ago) Permalink

I went to a native California plant garden tour today and the expert there (not the garden owner) was named Orchid Black. I didn't have the nerve t o ask her if that was her real name or her online identity. At first I thought that she picked the name from that UK series but when I got home and googled it I saw that the series is Orphan Black. In my search I found that there are indeed black orchids, so maybe Mr and Mrs Black named their daughter Orchid.

nickn, Sunday, 17 February 2019 05:14 (one month ago) Permalink

Horticulture is an absolute treasure trove of nominative determinism. Clay Jones, Pippa Greenwood and Bob Flowerdew are/were all regular panellists on the BBC’s Gardener’s Question Time radio programme.

Madchen, Sunday, 17 February 2019 07:48 (one month ago) Permalink

I had a grade 4 student from Africa about 20 years ago whose name was Suyi Georgewill. He went on to have some success in track & field:

Not sure how he felt about baseball or Ronald Reagan.

clemenza, Sunday, 17 February 2019 18:03 (one month ago) Permalink

Tamerlin Godley just announced a campaign for city council here.

nickn, Thursday, 21 February 2019 20:09 (one month ago) Permalink

the local bishop when i was growing up (later to resign due to, surprise surprise, mishandling of sexual abuse allegations) was called Bishop Devine

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 21 February 2019 20:12 (one month ago) Permalink

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