abysmal real names

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Beryl Sprinkel

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:48 (six years ago) link

jonjo shelvey

:D

wince (imago), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:50 (six years ago) link

Spanky deBrest

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:52 (six years ago) link

Ed Balls

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:54 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

tin jedvaj

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Thursday, 27 June 2013 01:27 (six years ago) link

All of these are good names. Except maybe Ed Balls.

I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Thursday, 27 June 2013 14:03 (six years ago) link

kirsten flipkens

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:00 (six years ago) link

every baby born with a name spelled "Aidyn"

frogbs, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:01 (six years ago) link

Aidyn Jaden Brayden Kayden

Poliopolice, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:02 (six years ago) link

just found out our house sitter's name is McKensie Phillips

Darin, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 17:58 (six years ago) link

Acquaintance of a friend is naming her daughter Kynaidegh. Pronounced Kennedy apparently.

u r all xanax'd bonobos (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 09:38 (six years ago) link

oy

Jean-Bertrand Aristide (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 14:58 (six years ago) link

marcus mumford

Jean-Bertrand Aristide (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 14:58 (six years ago) link

a girl in one of my courses last semester was named "LoveRa", pronounced "luhv-RAH"

clouds, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 15:08 (six years ago) link

used to work with someone that had the (Dutch) last name of Updegrave, her brother was named 'Doug', srsly

sleeve, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 15:10 (six years ago) link

there's a poet named Allison Benis White

i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Friday, 12 July 2013 15:48 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

Marvin Ducksch

Lama Bloody SwagYurt (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 21 September 2013 13:20 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Stephen Yaxley-Lennon

fake irish times letters mac d (nakhchivan), Saturday, 12 October 2013 13:44 (five years ago) link

paul potts

idembanana (abanana), Saturday, 12 October 2013 14:01 (five years ago) link

nick ferrari

many machines on ilx (MaresNest), Saturday, 12 October 2013 14:19 (five years ago) link

yeah i hate him and his shit name (nico smith would be shit too)

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:48 (five years ago) link

Vance Blanc

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:48 (five years ago) link

Tony Discipline

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:52 (five years ago) link

Sab Deol said he was punched twice by Discipline inside the VIP area at the club, prompting his cousin to intervene.

Both men said they had done nothing to provoke the attack.

Discipline smiled and nodded at the jury as he was released from the dock to join his parents, who wept with joy.

He shouted “Yes” before hugging girlfriend Jacqueline Jossa, 19, who plays Lauren Branning in the BBC soap.

Had the case not been thrown out she had been due to give evidence in support of Discipline.

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:56 (five years ago) link

http://www.192.com/atoz/people/surnames/discipline/50/

fuck, i love finding out about rare english surnames

the d1ciplines are mostly clustered around welling, rochester, thamesmead and other estuarial pleasure palaces

r1cky and c0nstance probably my favourites

tony d is just a vile name though

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:04 (five years ago) link

sidcup's w4yne d1scipline is verging on something that glib little fuckboy martin amis might have contrived

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:11 (five years ago) link

gav indiscipline is quite good

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:14 (five years ago) link

you shd come and live in the SE outposts nakhers

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:15 (five years ago) link

cultural bouillabaisse beyond compare

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:16 (five years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:16 (five years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

― A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 23:48 (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:17 (five years ago) link

lj you could get an incisive and coruscating sunday broadsheet article by tracking the disciplines around their endz

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:20 (five years ago) link

go to the post office and put up a sheet of tattered quarto with a single scrawled inscription IS THIS THE END FOR MR DISCIPLINE

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:21 (five years ago) link

Beryl Wayne Sprinkel (November 20, 1923 – August 22, 2009)[1] was a member of the Executive Office of the US President and chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors (CEA) between April 4, 1985 and January 21, 1989,[2] during the Reagan administration.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:23 (five years ago) link

haha you didn't tell us there was a WAYNE in the middle

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:24 (five years ago) link

Discipline and Greenwich

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:25 (five years ago) link

Orly Taitz

clouds, Thursday, 17 October 2013 13:55 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Imogen Poots

Very Gelb; thanks for asking. (fake penthouse letters mcgee), Sunday, 17 November 2013 22:43 (five years ago) link

Imogen Gay Poots

Tip from Tae Kwon Do: (crüt), Sunday, 17 November 2013 22:44 (five years ago) link

Imogen Heap too

Mr. Wristington, you're trying to seduce me. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 18 November 2013 02:35 (five years ago) link

Lol Creme

Homo schaduwkabinet (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 18 November 2013 02:39 (five years ago) link

Joey Essex. I genuinely thought that was a nickname until today.

ailsa, Monday, 18 November 2013 02:50 (five years ago) link

Justin Lookadoo

Very Gelb; thanks for asking. (fake penthouse letters mcgee), Tuesday, 19 November 2013 02:13 (five years ago) link

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 14:54 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

rooney mara

A Skanger Barkley (nakhchivan), Thursday, 19 December 2013 04:33 (five years ago) link

I've become accustomed to that one

mh, Thursday, 19 December 2013 05:03 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

blake bortles

Joyeux animaux de la misère (nakhchivan), Saturday, 22 February 2014 04:52 (five years ago) link

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

― Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 14:54 (3 months ago)

lol

Joyeux animaux de la misère (nakhchivan), Saturday, 22 February 2014 04:53 (five years ago) link

Turner E. Hubby

macropuente (map), Monday, 21 January 2019 06:17 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Duckens Nazon

Wee boats wobble but they don't fall down (Tom D.), Saturday, 9 February 2019 21:02 (six months ago) link

one month passes...

Chasten Buttigieg

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 21 March 2019 18:46 (five months ago) link

I really thought his name was Buttleg until today

vision joanna newsom (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 21 March 2019 20:55 (five months ago) link

Platt D. Babbitt

19th century photographer who took pictures of a guy while he was spending 18 hours hanging on to a branch before dying down niagara falls after a failed rescue, and then sold it in his tourist trap shop!

calzino, Sunday, 24 March 2019 22:10 (four months ago) link

My friend has a business meeting with a Đildo tomorrow - apparently a Croatian first name. I would have thought that if you're based in London you would surely go by a different name.

Sky rockets in flight, afternoon D-White (fionnland), Sunday, 24 March 2019 22:33 (four months ago) link

I was going to mention the name of the guy who runs the funeral home that took care of my parents' funeral arrangements but I see that Devilock already mentioned him on August 31, 2015. Let me tell you, though: while Dick Tips has a comedy name and that was a bizarre news story, they were nothing but kind and professional when I had dealings with them and I couldn't have asked for a better company, especially with regards to my mom's arrangements when I was making them by myself.

Another local LOLsome name is the founder of our one big supermarket chain, Howard E. Butt, hence the name HEB. No, I am not making this up, and yes, it is the absolute best supermarket chain around.

The sudden rise in awareness of the surname "Buttigieg" in the U.S. (thanks to Pete Buttigieg) is kinda funny to me because for the longest time I'd always associated that surname with Canadian home organizing guru (kinda a proto-Marie Kondo minus the gimmickry) Hellen Buttigieg, whose show "Neat" became a mini-obsession for me back in 2015 - 2016.

The Colour of Spring (deethelurker), Monday, 25 March 2019 16:16 (four months ago) link

two months pass...

Dick Posthumus

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Tuesday, 4 June 2019 10:11 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

from a cursory google she seems cool but I'm sorry, mayor of san francisco "London Breed", you have a weird name.

VAR me to the end of yawn (jim in vancouver), Friday, 28 June 2019 16:33 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

y0l4nd4 s1th0l3

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 15 July 2019 19:38 (one month ago) link

who seems like a pretty amazing person otherwise :/

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 15 July 2019 19:39 (one month ago) link

Sithole is a very common South African (Zulu) surname.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sithole

breastcrawl, Monday, 15 July 2019 20:25 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache

With an Extreme Burning (aka The Tormentor) (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:18 (three weeks ago) link

I named my new foster cat jonjo shelvey

mick signals, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:19 (three weeks ago) link

that's too many tollemaches

another no-holds-barred Tokey Wedge adventure for men (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:20 (three weeks ago) link

His surname at birth was "Tollemache-Tollemache", his father having doubled his original surname, "Tollemache", in 1876 after his second marriage. "de Orellana" derives from the naming customs of Spain, where his mother came from, and is a forename rather than part of his surname. The first "Tollemache-Tollemache" also seems to be an unusual forename. Leone was Ralph's sixth son, hence "Sextus". "Fraudatifilius" is Latin for "son of the defrauded one". "Leone" repeats a pattern seen in the names of his elder brothers and sisters (Lyonel, Lyonesse, Lyulph, Lyona, Leo, Lyonella and Lyonetta). His first five initials, "LSD OF", may include a reference to the divisions of the pre-decimal British currency, £sd, for pounds, shillings, and pence followed by half-pence (ob., "obol") and farthings (i.e., quarter-pence). This may be a reference to a financial dispute between his father Ralph and Ralph's first wife's trustees which had driven him bankrupt in 1863.[4] Similarly, an elder brother was named Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Nevill Dysart Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache[5]—his first 15 initials spell "LYONEL THE SECOND". In practice, Leone shortened his name to "Leone Sextus Tollemache".

With an Extreme Burning (aka The Tormentor) (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:21 (three weeks ago) link

"He died on active service on 20 February 1917 from double pneumonia" and doubtless would have died of even more pneumonia if he could get it

mick signals, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:47 (three weeks ago) link

lol

another no-holds-barred Tokey Wedge adventure for men (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:48 (three weeks ago) link

The text size on my work computer is clearly set way too low because I initially misread that as 'Toiletmachete'.

my but is not working it kept telling me device not found. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:48 (three weeks ago) link

(And yes, text size is directly responsible for my brain inserting multiple rogue 't's into a given word, thank you for asking.)

my but is not working it kept telling me device not found. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:49 (three weeks ago) link

The motherlode.

His imagination took flight when he named the many children from his second marriage:

Dora Viola Gertrude Irenez de Orellana Dysart Plantagenet (11 November 1869 – 4 July 1874)

Mabel Helmingham Ethel Huntingtower Beatrice Blazonberrie Evangeline Vise de Lou de Orellana Plantagenet Toedmag Saxon (11 March 1872 – 5 January 1955)

Lyonesse Matilda Dora Ida Agnes Ernestine Curson Paulet Wilbraham Joyce Eugénie Bentley Saxonia Dysart Plantagenet (9 November 1874 – 26 August 1944)

Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel (LYONEL) Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne (THE) Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Nevill Dysart (SECOND) Plantagenet (21 August 1876 – 1961)

Lyona Decima Veroica Esyth Undine Cyssa Hylda Rowena Adela Thyra Ursuala Ysabel Blanche Lelias Dysart Plantagenet (19 April 1878 – 17 November 1962) (Decima for being the 10th child)

Leo Quintus Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet (19 November 1879 – 1 November 1914) (Quintus for being the 5th son)

Lyonella Fredegunda Cuthberga Ethelswytha Ideth Ysabel Grace Monica de Orellana Plantagenet (14 January 1882 – 3 October 1952)

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet (10 June 1884 – 20 February 1917) (Sextus for being the 6th son)

Lyonetta Edith Regina Valentine Myra Polwarth Avelina Phillipa Violantha de Orellana Plantagenet (14 February 1887 – 7 January 1951)

Lyunulph Cospatrick Bruce Berkeley Jermyn Tullibardine Petersham de Orellana Dysart Plantagenet (11 January 1892 – 30 November 1960)

pomenitul, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:08 (three weeks ago) link

Append 'Tollemache-Tollemache' to each of those names, obv.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:09 (three weeks ago) link

that's too many kids

another no-holds-barred Tokey Wedge adventure for men (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:39 (three weeks ago) link

recently encountered someone called gr@ham gr@y and i felt my very soul draining right out of my body just mouthing those words to myself in silent horror

Br. Des Shadows (NickB), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:45 (three weeks ago) link

That's in addition to initial five, which he sired with his cousin Caroline Tollemache-Tollemache.

xp

pomenitul, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:48 (three weeks ago) link

that's too much cousin-fucking

another no-holds-barred Tokey Wedge adventure for men (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:50 (three weeks ago) link

Benjamin Butin

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:51 (three weeks ago) link

It's an Anglican thing.

xp

pomenitul, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:52 (three weeks ago) link

that's too much anglicanism

another no-holds-barred Tokey Wedge adventure for men (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:53 (three weeks ago) link

You left out a Hungerdunger! You left out the most important one!

Hideous Lump, Thursday, 1 August 2019 05:06 (three weeks ago) link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preserved_Fish

Un Poco Loco Moco (rushomancy), Thursday, 1 August 2019 06:28 (three weeks ago) link

Lock thread.

How to Book Michael Fish (Tom D.), Thursday, 1 August 2019 06:41 (three weeks ago) link

what that is a great name

Captain ACAB (Neil S), Thursday, 1 August 2019 08:17 (three weeks ago) link

Amazing.

pomenitul, Thursday, 1 August 2019 08:26 (three weeks ago) link

Why is that name making me laugh this much, why

Apprentice Taintjazzler (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:25 (three weeks ago) link

what that is a great name

That's why I said it.

How to Book Michael Fish (Tom D.), Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:29 (three weeks ago) link

lox thread

The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:30 (three weeks ago) link

poor abigail

Abigail, Wife of Preserved Fish (rushomancy), Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:35 (three weeks ago) link

Preserved Fishwife

How to Book Michael Fish (Tom D.), Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:36 (three weeks ago) link

His first name was properly pronounced with three syllables (/prɪˈzɜːrvɪd/ prih-ZUR-vid), and was a reference to being "preserved from sin" or "preserved in grace".

i choose to disregard this

professor steve gogurt (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:37 (three weeks ago) link

The abyss and the heavens are one and the same.

pomenitul, Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:45 (three weeks ago) link

Preserved Fishwife

― How to Book Michael Fish (Tom D.)

and her jive-ass slippers

i don't want to go all william blake on this but i did think about posting it to the awesome names thread; this thread just got bumped first. i will readily agree that the name is both awesome and abysmal.

bizarro: it's actually just as funny to pronounce it with three syllables, if not funnier. i tried it. also you get to explain why it's three syllables, which is also some good 18th century yuks

Abigail, Wife of Preserved Fish (rushomancy), Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:48 (three weeks ago) link

Having spent much of the last year reading books written in or about the 18th Century, I can confirm that I have yet to come across a single name which possesses the magnificence of Preserved Fish.

COOL DUDE'S ONLY, NO NERD'S ALOUD (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:05 (three weeks ago) link

important detail:

His father, a blacksmith, and grandfather were also named Preserved Fish.[2]

you are fucking kidding me

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumbo,_Brooklyn

The Pingularity (ledge), Monday, 5 August 2019 08:10 (two weeks ago) link

two weeks pass...

Sthefany Brito and her brother Kayky.

― Rainbow DAESH (ShariVari), Thursday, 5 March 2015 08:25 (four years ago) bookmarkflaglink

this came up in conversation just now

imago, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 23:24 (two days ago) link


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