abysmal real names

tanner flake

Beryl Sprinkel

jonjo shelvey

:D

Spanky deBrest

Ed Balls

tin jedvaj

All of these are good names. Except maybe Ed Balls.

kirsten flipkens

every baby born with a name spelled "Aidyn"

Aidyn Jaden Brayden Kayden

just found out our house sitter's name is McKensie Phillips

Acquaintance of a friend is naming her daughter Kynaidegh. Pronounced Kennedy apparently.

oy

marcus mumford

a girl in one of my courses last semester was named "LoveRa", pronounced "luhv-RAH"

used to work with someone that had the (Dutch) last name of Updegrave, her brother was named 'Doug', srsly

there's a poet named Allison Benis White

Marvin Ducksch

Stephen Yaxley-Lennon

paul potts

nick ferrari

yeah i hate him and his shit name (nico smith would be shit too)

Vance Blanc

Tony Discipline

Sab Deol said he was punched twice by Discipline inside the VIP area at the club, prompting his cousin to intervene.

Both men said they had done nothing to provoke the attack.

Discipline smiled and nodded at the jury as he was released from the dock to join his parents, who wept with joy.

He shouted “Yes” before hugging girlfriend Jacqueline Jossa, 19, who plays Lauren Branning in the BBC soap.

Had the case not been thrown out she had been due to give evidence in support of Discipline.

http://www.192.com/atoz/people/surnames/discipline/50/

fuck, i love finding out about rare english surnames

the d1ciplines are mostly clustered around welling, rochester, thamesmead and other estuarial pleasure palaces

r1cky and c0nstance probably my favourites

tony d is just a vile name though

sidcup's w4yne d1scipline is verging on something that glib little fuckboy martin amis might have contrived

gav indiscipline is quite good

you shd come and live in the SE outposts nakhers

cultural bouillabaisse beyond compare

Beryl Sprinkel

Beryl Sprinkel

― A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 23:48 (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lj you could get an incisive and coruscating sunday broadsheet article by tracking the disciplines around their endz

go to the post office and put up a sheet of tattered quarto with a single scrawled inscription IS THIS THE END FOR MR DISCIPLINE

Beryl Wayne Sprinkel (November 20, 1923 – August 22, 2009)[1] was a member of the Executive Office of the US President and chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors (CEA) between April 4, 1985 and January 21, 1989,[2] during the Reagan administration.

haha you didn't tell us there was a WAYNE in the middle

Discipline and Greenwich

Orly Taitz

Imogen Poots

Imogen Gay Poots

Imogen Heap too

Lol Creme

Joey Essex. I genuinely thought that was a nickname until today.

Justin Lookadoo

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

rooney mara

I've become accustomed to that one

blake bortles

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

― Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 14:54 (3 months ago)

lol

I dunno. You can say that, but it make me envision alien poot harpoons.

that would make it a cool name tho

Br@y V W33tman

Cool name or silver age comic villain?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dickson_Despommier

The middle initial is just gratuitous though...

Poor little mite.

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/birthday-card-plea-oscar-jealous-19246362

Gentry Stein

I just cannot be mature and professional when reading this paper
https://i.imgur.com/7PkLrxb.png

"Big" Don Abernathy

"Gabb" Don Abernebbthy

Nobody knows what that’s even in reference to.

Lol

assert (MatthewK) - Now I've got the Shel Silverstein song "I'm Being Eaten by a Boa Constrictor" stuck in my head.

My oldest granddaughter Christie Nicklaus – my son Jack’s 2nd-oldest child – just married Todger Strunk. What a beautiful wedding and an even more beautiful couple! They look like they were made for each other. Barbara and I wish them happiness and love for an eternity! @CNStrunk pic.twitter.com/lfiVBuPheu

— Jack Nicklaus (@jacknicklaus) December 14, 2020

So abysmal it's gone viral, but perhaps slightly too colourful and prurient for this thread's true purpose

The surname really makes it though.

strunk so white

Motherfuckers wanna fine em

Police have launched a manhunt for a 28-year-old wanted on suspicion of the murder of a pensioner in Essex.

Essex police are trying to find Leighton Snook after 83-year-old Donald Ralph was found dead at his home in the village of Aldham, near Colchester, just after 1pm on Tuesday.

not as flamboyant as most entries here but I just saw a reference to one Mike Michael and come on

(and sorry he's too old for his parents to be Broadcast fans)

Obviously not really fair to highlight names that are only abysmal in English, but nonetheless...

Dylan Cretin

Surely the accent aigu's absence makes it alright (not).

Jadran Duncumb

Flavia Piggins

atm I work with someone that has the last name H00fard, and I feel like a middle-schooler as I quietly snicker every time I read her name.

We've had a Fr4nk Buzz4rd at work for a few months. No relation to the Frank Chickens as far as I know.

I'm a bit torn on this: for now it feels maybe a bit "poor kid", but it would be awesome if she went on to kick absolutely everybody's butt.

V3lva L33 Sh3rman

Found in the cemetery yesterday: Fanny Mass

sure that wasn't the cause of death accidentally written on the tombstone?

it occurred to me, yes

Théotime Langlois de Swarte

Tanguy de Williencourt

Proof positive that the French Revolution has yet to complete its mission.

Together they've just released an album devoted to Proust-adjacent fin-de-siècle works for violin and piano.

in a 'too much time on ilx' moment, my company apparently has a Rh0nd@ Butt.

Quite a common surname on the Indian subcontinent.

it was more the Rh0nda (ilx meme) combined with that name that I took notice of, as it's not that weird for someone to have a last name "Butt" or "Butts"

Don't know that meme tbh.

Casey Horny

Joss Whedon

Dick Bong, posthumous Medal of Honor winner
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Bong

Was watching a 1976 episode of Kojak and it featured an actor called Uegene O'Neill. He got shot to death early in the episode and never had another acting credit.

I’ve crossed the Bong Bridge between Superior WI and Duluth MN a bunch of times and have also stayed at the Bong State Recreation Area in after a nearby Phish show where thousands of other hippies had the same idea and everyone was hoping there was a campsite number 420

Saw a name on a ticket in the queue last week and I had to wonder if it was cute or cruel if your last name is Duckworth for one to name their son Donald.

Gus Dudgeon

counterpoint: that one's good

I find Uegene O'Neill quite appealing visually

Oo-ezhenn

"Gus Dudgeon" just sounds like someone choking to death on a boiled parsnip to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyVfkr6nsrk
cmon man

Albuquerque Cosper Head

I was reading a story about the Iced Earth guitarist who was arrested for the Jan 6 thing, and another person indicted was listed. Had to re-read it a couple times to verify that "Albuquerque" wasn't where he was from, but his first name.

counterpoint: albuquerque is a bitchin' name and should not have been wasted on a treason larper

I actually thought to put it in the great names thread, but didn't want to honor the dude.