abysmal real names

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ghosts of erith spectral crackhouse slain rudeboy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:46 (seven years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:48 (seven years ago) link

jonjo shelvey

ghosts of erith spectral crackhouse slain rudeboy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:49 (seven years ago) link

:D

wince (imago), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:50 (seven years ago) link

Spanky deBrest

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:52 (seven years ago) link

Ed Balls

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:54 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

tin jedvaj

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Thursday, 27 June 2013 01:27 (seven years ago) link

All of these are good names. Except maybe Ed Balls.

I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Thursday, 27 June 2013 14:03 (seven years ago) link

kirsten flipkens

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:00 (seven years ago) link

every baby born with a name spelled "Aidyn"

frogbs, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:01 (seven years ago) link

Aidyn Jaden Brayden Kayden

Poliopolice, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:02 (seven years ago) link

just found out our house sitter's name is McKensie Phillips

Darin, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 17:58 (seven years ago) link

Acquaintance of a friend is naming her daughter Kynaidegh. Pronounced Kennedy apparently.

u r all xanax'd bonobos (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 09:38 (seven years ago) link

oy

Jean-Bertrand Aristide (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 14:58 (seven years ago) link

marcus mumford

Jean-Bertrand Aristide (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 14:58 (seven years ago) link

a girl in one of my courses last semester was named "LoveRa", pronounced "luhv-RAH"

clouds, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 15:08 (seven years ago) link

used to work with someone that had the (Dutch) last name of Updegrave, her brother was named 'Doug', srsly

sleeve, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 15:10 (seven years ago) link

there's a poet named Allison Benis White

i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Friday, 12 July 2013 15:48 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

Marvin Ducksch

Lama Bloody SwagYurt (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 21 September 2013 13:20 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Stephen Yaxley-Lennon

fake irish times letters mac d (nakhchivan), Saturday, 12 October 2013 13:44 (seven years ago) link

paul potts

idembanana (abanana), Saturday, 12 October 2013 14:01 (seven years ago) link

nick ferrari

many machines on ilx (MaresNest), Saturday, 12 October 2013 14:19 (seven years ago) link

yeah i hate him and his shit name (nico smith would be shit too)

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:48 (seven years ago) link

Vance Blanc

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:48 (seven years ago) link

Tony Discipline

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:52 (seven years ago) link

Sab Deol said he was punched twice by Discipline inside the VIP area at the club, prompting his cousin to intervene.

Both men said they had done nothing to provoke the attack.

Discipline smiled and nodded at the jury as he was released from the dock to join his parents, who wept with joy.

He shouted “Yes” before hugging girlfriend Jacqueline Jossa, 19, who plays Lauren Branning in the BBC soap.

Had the case not been thrown out she had been due to give evidence in support of Discipline.

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:56 (seven years ago) link

http://www.192.com/atoz/people/surnames/discipline/50/

fuck, i love finding out about rare english surnames

the d1ciplines are mostly clustered around welling, rochester, thamesmead and other estuarial pleasure palaces

r1cky and c0nstance probably my favourites

tony d is just a vile name though

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:04 (seven years ago) link

sidcup's w4yne d1scipline is verging on something that glib little fuckboy martin amis might have contrived

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:11 (seven years ago) link

gav indiscipline is quite good

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:14 (seven years ago) link

you shd come and live in the SE outposts nakhers

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:15 (seven years ago) link

cultural bouillabaisse beyond compare

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:16 (seven years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:16 (seven years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

― A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 23:48 (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:17 (seven years ago) link

lj you could get an incisive and coruscating sunday broadsheet article by tracking the disciplines around their endz

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:20 (seven years ago) link

go to the post office and put up a sheet of tattered quarto with a single scrawled inscription IS THIS THE END FOR MR DISCIPLINE

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:21 (seven years ago) link

Beryl Wayne Sprinkel (November 20, 1923 – August 22, 2009)[1] was a member of the Executive Office of the US President and chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors (CEA) between April 4, 1985 and January 21, 1989,[2] during the Reagan administration.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:23 (seven years ago) link

haha you didn't tell us there was a WAYNE in the middle

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:24 (seven years ago) link

Discipline and Greenwich

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:25 (seven years ago) link

Orly Taitz

clouds, Thursday, 17 October 2013 13:55 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

Imogen Poots

Very Gelb; thanks for asking. (fake penthouse letters mcgee), Sunday, 17 November 2013 22:43 (seven years ago) link

Imogen Gay Poots

Tip from Tae Kwon Do: (crüt), Sunday, 17 November 2013 22:44 (seven years ago) link

Imogen Heap too

Mr. Wristington, you're trying to seduce me. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 18 November 2013 02:35 (seven years ago) link

Lol Creme

Homo schaduwkabinet (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 18 November 2013 02:39 (seven years ago) link

Joey Essex. I genuinely thought that was a nickname until today.

ailsa, Monday, 18 November 2013 02:50 (seven years ago) link

Justin Lookadoo

Very Gelb; thanks for asking. (fake penthouse letters mcgee), Tuesday, 19 November 2013 02:13 (seven years ago) link

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 14:54 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

rooney mara

A Skanger Barkley (nakhchivan), Thursday, 19 December 2013 04:33 (seven years ago) link

I've become accustomed to that one

mh, Thursday, 19 December 2013 05:03 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

blake bortles

Joyeux animaux de la misère (nakhchivan), Saturday, 22 February 2014 04:52 (seven years ago) link

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

― Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 14:54 (3 months ago)

lol

Joyeux animaux de la misère (nakhchivan), Saturday, 22 February 2014 04:53 (seven years ago) link

I dunno. You can say that, but it make me envision alien poot harpoons.

peace, man, Sunday, 8 November 2020 13:14 (five months ago) link

that would make it a cool name tho

kiss some penis reference (breastcrawl), Sunday, 8 November 2020 13:18 (five months ago) link

Br@y V W33tman

Peter Greenaway's Fleetwood Mac (S-), Monday, 9 November 2020 07:25 (five months ago) link

Cool name or silver age comic villain?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dickson_Despommier

The middle initial is just gratuitous though...

Philip Nunez, Monday, 9 November 2020 18:48 (five months ago) link

Gentry Stein

tangenttangent, Sunday, 22 November 2020 23:23 (four months ago) link

I just cannot be mature and professional when reading this paper
https://i.imgur.com/7PkLrxb.png

assert (MatthewK), Friday, 4 December 2020 00:18 (four months ago) link

"Big" Don Abernathy

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 12 December 2020 05:19 (four months ago) link

"Gabb" Don Abernebbthy

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 December 2020 05:23 (four months ago) link

Nobody knows what that’s even in reference to.

“Big” Don Abernathy, Saturday, 12 December 2020 05:30 (four months ago) link

Lol

healthy cocaine off perfect butts (the table is the table), Saturday, 12 December 2020 13:04 (four months ago) link

assert (MatthewK) - Now I've got the Shel Silverstein song "I'm Being Eaten by a Boa Constrictor" stuck in my head.

Hideous Lump, Saturday, 12 December 2020 15:08 (four months ago) link

My oldest granddaughter Christie Nicklaus – my son Jack’s 2nd-oldest child – just married Todger Strunk. What a beautiful wedding and an even more beautiful couple! They look like they were made for each other. Barbara and I wish them happiness and love for an eternity! @CNStrunk pic.twitter.com/lfiVBuPheu

— Jack Nicklaus (@jacknicklaus) December 14, 2020

you are like a scampicane, there's calm in your fries (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 15 December 2020 08:18 (four months ago) link

So abysmal it's gone viral, but perhaps slightly too colourful and prurient for this thread's true purpose

imago, Tuesday, 15 December 2020 11:31 (four months ago) link

The surname really makes it though.

imago, Tuesday, 15 December 2020 11:32 (four months ago) link

strunk so white

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 15 December 2020 15:10 (four months ago) link

Motherfuckers wanna fine em

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 15 December 2020 15:11 (four months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Police have launched a manhunt for a 28-year-old wanted on suspicion of the murder of a pensioner in Essex.

Essex police are trying to find Leighton Snook after 83-year-old Donald Ralph was found dead at his home in the village of Aldham, near Colchester, just after 1pm on Tuesday.

kites aren't fun (NickB), Friday, 1 January 2021 02:32 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

not as flamboyant as most entries here but I just saw a reference to one Mike Michael and come on

(and sorry he's too old for his parents to be Broadcast fans)

rob, Wednesday, 3 February 2021 23:27 (two months ago) link

Obviously not really fair to highlight names that are only abysmal in English, but nonetheless...

Dylan Cretin

Waterloo Subset (Tom D.), Saturday, 6 February 2021 20:04 (two months ago) link

Surely the accent aigu's absence makes it alright (not).

pomenitul, Saturday, 6 February 2021 20:06 (two months ago) link

Jadran Duncumb

pomenitul, Friday, 12 February 2021 15:50 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Flavia Piggins

Luna Schlosser, Thursday, 4 March 2021 15:00 (one month ago) link

atm I work with someone that has the last name H00fard, and I feel like a middle-schooler as I quietly snicker every time I read her name.

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Thursday, 4 March 2021 17:54 (one month ago) link

We've had a Fr4nk Buzz4rd at work for a few months. No relation to the Frank Chickens as far as I know.

nickn, Thursday, 4 March 2021 21:07 (one month ago) link

I'm a bit torn on this: for now it feels maybe a bit "poor kid", but it would be awesome if she went on to kick absolutely everybody's butt.

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 4 March 2021 23:38 (one month ago) link

V3lva L33 Sh3rman

map ca. 1890 (map), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 19:12 (one month ago) link

Found in the cemetery yesterday: Fanny Mass

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 19:51 (one month ago) link

sure that wasn't the cause of death accidentally written on the tombstone?

"Salvation Army FUCK!" (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 19:55 (one month ago) link

it occurred to me, yes

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 20:06 (one month ago) link

Théotime Langlois de Swarte

Tanguy de Williencourt

Proof positive that the French Revolution has yet to complete its mission.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 17 March 2021 16:48 (one month ago) link

Together they've just released an album devoted to Proust-adjacent fin-de-siècle works for violin and piano.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 17 March 2021 16:49 (one month ago) link

in a 'too much time on ilx' moment, my company apparently has a Rh0nd@ Butt.

"Salvation Army FUCK!" (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 19:35 (one month ago) link

Quite a common surname on the Indian subcontinent.

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 19:36 (one month ago) link

it was more the Rh0nda (ilx meme) combined with that name that I took notice of, as it's not that weird for someone to have a last name "Butt" or "Butts"

"Salvation Army FUCK!" (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 19:42 (one month ago) link

Don't know that meme tbh.

Duncan Disorderly (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 19:55 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

Casey Horny

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Monday, 5 April 2021 18:13 (two weeks ago) link

Joss Whedon

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Tuesday, 6 April 2021 22:18 (one week ago) link

Dick Bong, posthumous Medal of Honor winner
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Bong

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 7 April 2021 01:16 (one week ago) link

Was watching a 1976 episode of Kojak and it featured an actor called Uegene O'Neill. He got shot to death early in the episode and never had another acting credit.

Josefa, Friday, 9 April 2021 01:17 (one week ago) link

I’ve crossed the Bong Bridge between Superior WI and Duluth MN a bunch of times and have also stayed at the Bong State Recreation Area in after a nearby Phish show where thousands of other hippies had the same idea and everyone was hoping there was a campsite number 420

joygoat, Friday, 9 April 2021 01:39 (one week ago) link

Saw a name on a ticket in the queue last week and I had to wonder if it was cute or cruel if your last name is Duckworth for one to name their son Donald.

earlnash, Friday, 9 April 2021 04:55 (one week ago) link

Gus Dudgeon

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 9 April 2021 09:07 (one week ago) link

counterpoint: that one's good

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 9 April 2021 09:43 (one week ago) link

I find Uegene O'Neill quite appealing visually

Blick, Bils & Blinky • Let's Skip The Shaker Intros (breastcrawl), Friday, 9 April 2021 10:13 (one week ago) link

Oo-ezhenn

"Gus Dudgeon" just sounds like someone choking to death on a boiled parsnip to me

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 9 April 2021 10:52 (one week ago) link

Albuquerque Cosper Head

I was reading a story about the Iced Earth guitarist who was arrested for the Jan 6 thing, and another person indicted was listed. Had to re-read it a couple times to verify that "Albuquerque" wasn't where he was from, but his first name.

nickn, Sunday, 18 April 2021 16:19 (yesterday) link

counterpoint: albuquerque is a bitchin' name and should not have been wasted on a treason larper

cat, Sunday, 18 April 2021 20:51 (yesterday) link

I actually thought to put it in the great names thread, but didn't want to honor the dude.

nickn, Sunday, 18 April 2021 21:24 (yesterday) link


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