abysmal real names

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ghosts of erith spectral crackhouse slain rudeboy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:46 (eight years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:48 (eight years ago) link

jonjo shelvey

ghosts of erith spectral crackhouse slain rudeboy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:49 (eight years ago) link

:D

wince (imago), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:50 (eight years ago) link

Spanky deBrest

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:52 (eight years ago) link

Ed Balls

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 12 June 2013 22:54 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

tin jedvaj

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Thursday, 27 June 2013 01:27 (eight years ago) link

All of these are good names. Except maybe Ed Balls.

I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Thursday, 27 June 2013 14:03 (eight years ago) link

kirsten flipkens

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:00 (eight years ago) link

every baby born with a name spelled "Aidyn"

frogbs, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:01 (eight years ago) link

Aidyn Jaden Brayden Kayden

Poliopolice, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:02 (eight years ago) link

just found out our house sitter's name is McKensie Phillips

Darin, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 17:58 (eight years ago) link

Acquaintance of a friend is naming her daughter Kynaidegh. Pronounced Kennedy apparently.

u r all xanax'd bonobos (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 09:38 (eight years ago) link

oy

Jean-Bertrand Aristide (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 14:58 (eight years ago) link

marcus mumford

Jean-Bertrand Aristide (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 14:58 (eight years ago) link

a girl in one of my courses last semester was named "LoveRa", pronounced "luhv-RAH"

clouds, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 15:08 (eight years ago) link

used to work with someone that had the (Dutch) last name of Updegrave, her brother was named 'Doug', srsly

sleeve, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 15:10 (eight years ago) link

there's a poet named Allison Benis White

i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Friday, 12 July 2013 15:48 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

Marvin Ducksch

Lama Bloody SwagYurt (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 21 September 2013 13:20 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Stephen Yaxley-Lennon

fake irish times letters mac d (nakhchivan), Saturday, 12 October 2013 13:44 (eight years ago) link

paul potts

idembanana (abanana), Saturday, 12 October 2013 14:01 (eight years ago) link

nick ferrari

many machines on ilx (MaresNest), Saturday, 12 October 2013 14:19 (eight years ago) link

yeah i hate him and his shit name (nico smith would be shit too)

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:48 (eight years ago) link

Vance Blanc

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:48 (eight years ago) link

Tony Discipline

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:52 (eight years ago) link

Sab Deol said he was punched twice by Discipline inside the VIP area at the club, prompting his cousin to intervene.

Both men said they had done nothing to provoke the attack.

Discipline smiled and nodded at the jury as he was released from the dock to join his parents, who wept with joy.

He shouted “Yes” before hugging girlfriend Jacqueline Jossa, 19, who plays Lauren Branning in the BBC soap.

Had the case not been thrown out she had been due to give evidence in support of Discipline.

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 00:56 (eight years ago) link

http://www.192.com/atoz/people/surnames/discipline/50/

fuck, i love finding out about rare english surnames

the d1ciplines are mostly clustered around welling, rochester, thamesmead and other estuarial pleasure palaces

r1cky and c0nstance probably my favourites

tony d is just a vile name though

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:04 (eight years ago) link

sidcup's w4yne d1scipline is verging on something that glib little fuckboy martin amis might have contrived

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:11 (eight years ago) link

gav indiscipline is quite good

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:14 (eight years ago) link

you shd come and live in the SE outposts nakhers

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:15 (eight years ago) link

cultural bouillabaisse beyond compare

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:16 (eight years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:16 (eight years ago) link

Beryl Sprinkel

― A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 12 June 2013 23:48 (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:17 (eight years ago) link

lj you could get an incisive and coruscating sunday broadsheet article by tracking the disciplines around their endz

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:20 (eight years ago) link

go to the post office and put up a sheet of tattered quarto with a single scrawled inscription IS THIS THE END FOR MR DISCIPLINE

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:21 (eight years ago) link

Beryl Wayne Sprinkel (November 20, 1923 – August 22, 2009)[1] was a member of the Executive Office of the US President and chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors (CEA) between April 4, 1985 and January 21, 1989,[2] during the Reagan administration.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:23 (eight years ago) link

haha you didn't tell us there was a WAYNE in the middle

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:24 (eight years ago) link

Discipline and Greenwich

Maggishos soyfriend. Wins. (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 17 October 2013 01:25 (eight years ago) link

Orly Taitz

clouds, Thursday, 17 October 2013 13:55 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

Imogen Poots

Very Gelb; thanks for asking. (fake penthouse letters mcgee), Sunday, 17 November 2013 22:43 (seven years ago) link

Imogen Gay Poots

Tip from Tae Kwon Do: (crüt), Sunday, 17 November 2013 22:44 (seven years ago) link

Imogen Heap too

Mr. Wristington, you're trying to seduce me. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 18 November 2013 02:35 (seven years ago) link

Lol Creme

Homo schaduwkabinet (Stevie D(eux)), Monday, 18 November 2013 02:39 (seven years ago) link

Joey Essex. I genuinely thought that was a nickname until today.

ailsa, Monday, 18 November 2013 02:50 (seven years ago) link

Justin Lookadoo

Very Gelb; thanks for asking. (fake penthouse letters mcgee), Tuesday, 19 November 2013 02:13 (seven years ago) link

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 14:54 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

rooney mara

A Skanger Barkley (nakhchivan), Thursday, 19 December 2013 04:33 (seven years ago) link

I've become accustomed to that one

mh, Thursday, 19 December 2013 05:03 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

blake bortles

Joyeux animaux de la misère (nakhchivan), Saturday, 22 February 2014 04:52 (seven years ago) link

Donny Dugdale
Mickeylee Macken

are two that just came up at work. Awful.

― Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 14:54 (3 months ago)

lol

Joyeux animaux de la misère (nakhchivan), Saturday, 22 February 2014 04:53 (seven years ago) link

Rougned Odor

Tracer Hand, Saturday, 24 July 2021 09:16 (three months ago) link

it’s also kind of awesome though

and he’s the only consistent player the Yankees seem to have

Tracer Hand, Saturday, 24 July 2021 09:17 (three months ago) link

The backstory of Rougned Odor's name makes it even more awesomely abysmal. "Rougned" is a combination of his grandfather's name Douglas and his grandmother's name Nedia... but since all the males in his family have names beginning with the letter "R" they changed the "D" to "R." And who would want to be called Dougned Odor after all.

Josefa, Saturday, 24 July 2021 14:41 (three months ago) link

hahaha i am dying

Tracer Hand, Saturday, 24 July 2021 14:58 (three months ago) link

incredible

Tracer Hand, Saturday, 24 July 2021 14:58 (three months ago) link

Rougned Odor more like RaggNed Odsbloodhathilxnothreadforanticipationofthor. If you ask me

Woolf & Stein 3d (wins), Saturday, 24 July 2021 15:10 (three months ago) link

From today's Dear Prudence column at Slate:

"Help! My Parents Gave Me a Wacky, Offensive Name.
I had it legally changed, and they still won’t stop using it."

Dear Prudence,

My parents gave me a really terrible name, that half-rhymes and contains a racial slur--think “Gypsy-Pixie,” and misspelled. (We are a white family.)...

So what could her name really be? (Is it really obvious and I'm being dense?)

Hideous Lump, Saturday, 24 July 2021 16:03 (three months ago) link

Tipsy Dixie?

tean mean poleand cheaseang theas means hamseak feasts (breastcrawl), Saturday, 24 July 2021 16:17 (three months ago) link

sorry, Typsi Dick C.

tean mean poleand cheaseang theas means hamseak feasts (breastcrawl), Saturday, 24 July 2021 16:18 (three months ago) link

I don't think it rhymes with Gypsy-Pixie, it has an internal rhyme

Hideous Lump, Saturday, 24 July 2021 16:28 (three months ago) link

Hammond Gammon

please to insert the misspelling yourself

tean mean poleand cheaseang theas means hamseak feasts (breastcrawl), Saturday, 24 July 2021 16:35 (three months ago) link

His uncle, Rouglas, played for eight seasons in Minor League Baseball for the Cleveland and Milwaukee Brewers organizations,[4][7]

Tracer Hand, Saturday, 24 July 2021 21:43 (three months ago) link

thanks for the new dn

https://i.redd.it/k4z7vvh8ozd21.png

Hideous Lump, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:31 (two months ago) link

LOL

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:48 (two months ago) link

"Mummy, I did a Poppie Platt in my pants".

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:08 (two months ago) link

Amelia Gentleman

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 29 July 2021 09:26 (two months ago) link

...mindbending chemicals

Neil S, Thursday, 29 July 2021 15:17 (two months ago) link

for reference

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNm66KzI7Vk

Neil S, Thursday, 29 July 2021 15:18 (two months ago) link

Didn’t know whether to put this in the great or abysmal category so I went with both:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penda_Hair

vmajestic, Tuesday, 3 August 2021 13:50 (two months ago) link

Named after the 7th Century King of Mercia? or at least named after his hair.

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 3 August 2021 14:52 (two months ago) link

steele fortress

joygoat, Wednesday, 11 August 2021 03:11 (two months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/ecbCJhN.jpg

Peter Greenaway's Fleetwood Mac (S-), Friday, 20 August 2021 16:33 (two months ago) link

Uh oh here come sic

Duke Detain (Neanderthal), Thursday, 26 August 2021 01:24 (one month ago) link

four weeks pass...

https://meridiancity.org/council/tregbernt

Peter Greenaway's Fleetwood Mac (S-), Saturday, 25 September 2021 09:58 (one month ago) link

I was contacted by a headhunter with the name of Pr3slee Fudge the other day.

I'm a sovereign jazz citizen (the table is the table), Monday, 27 September 2021 15:14 (four weeks ago) link

I really have a hard time believing someone named their daughter Trashelle or Hilaria.

earlnash, Thursday, 7 October 2021 07:26 (two weeks ago) link

Hilaria doesn't seem that unusual or abysmal. Isn't it just the Spanish (or perhaps more broadly Latin) equivalent of Hilary?

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 7 October 2021 08:39 (two weeks ago) link

Hilario is the male equivalent.

Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Thursday, 7 October 2021 09:05 (two weeks ago) link

'Trashelle' is a really hard one to comprehend; if a fictional character who is the wife of a wealthy construction company owner and right-wing nutjob from suburban Boise had that name it would seem absolutely over the top and unbelievable.

joygoat, Thursday, 7 October 2021 11:25 (two weeks ago) link

Ok, I'll concede on Hilaria...but Trashelle? That is one of those things that is if this is all a simulation then the creator is just having LOL.

earlnash, Thursday, 7 October 2021 11:58 (two weeks ago) link

my sister never got over the one kid she taught in her junior high class name Lemóngelo pronounce sadly as you might imagine it was.

When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Friday, 8 October 2021 06:13 (two weeks ago) link

lol. but wouldn't the accent suggest Leh-MON-jeh-lo?

Tracer Hand, Friday, 8 October 2021 09:38 (two weeks ago) link

(with the same rhythm as 'D'Angelo'?)

Tracer Hand, Friday, 8 October 2021 09:38 (two weeks ago) link

my sister never got over the one kid she taught in her junior high class name Lemóngelo pronounce sadly as you might imagine it was.

― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Friday, October 8, 2021 1:13 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Sorry if I'm missing the joke, but you know this is an urban legend, right? https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2009-feb-07-oe-daum7-story.html

JRN, Friday, 8 October 2021 13:56 (two weeks ago) link

Lemongello is a real surname though. There was a popular cabaret singer in the 1970s named Peter Lemongello (accent on the "mon"). He had a cousin named Mark Lemongello who was a professional baseball player in the major leagues (late '70s).

Trivia tidbit: In Martin Scorsese's The Irishman Joey Gallo gets whacked at Umberto's Clam House after a celebratory evening at the Copacabana where Jerry Vale (Steven Van Zandt) is the featured singer. But in the real life incident in 1972, Gallo had actually been at the Copacabana enjoying Peter Lemongello's performance.

Josefa, Friday, 8 October 2021 14:21 (two weeks ago) link

I will concede that it's possible that forks's sister had a student named Lemongelo after the surname Lemongello, but it would be an incredible coincidence, given that I've been hearing since I was a kid that somebody's sister or cousin or sister's cousin totally had a student named "Lemonjello" with a stress on the first o, they swear, why would they lie.

JRN, Friday, 8 October 2021 15:24 (two weeks ago) link

She swears, why would she lie?
Tbf I don’t always trust my sister so…

When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Friday, 8 October 2021 15:44 (two weeks ago) link

some context here

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 8 October 2021 15:46 (two weeks ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSBVuImIFkQ

Lemonjelly.ky only sold 10,000 copies, but everyone who bought it named their kid something really weird.

peace, man, Friday, 8 October 2021 18:19 (two weeks ago) link

She don't use lemmonjello

Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 October 2021 19:38 (two weeks ago) link

Peter Crummey

calstars, Sunday, 10 October 2021 16:34 (two weeks ago) link

Joe Bott

calstars, Sunday, 10 October 2021 16:47 (two weeks ago) link

(Seen on political lawn signs)

calstars, Sunday, 10 October 2021 16:48 (two weeks ago) link

Neal Fresby

Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Monday, 11 October 2021 00:55 (two weeks ago) link

Thanks again, Wiki:Matt Abts (born September 30, 1953) is an American drummer,[1] best known as one of the founding members of the rock band Gov't Mule... Abts joined (Warren) Haynes and Allen Woody, who had both been members of The Allman Brothers Band, to form Gov't Mule in 1994. Before that, Abts and Haynes played with Dickey Betts; Haynes and Woody also played with Dickey in The Allman Brothers Band.

dow, Monday, 11 October 2021 21:05 (two weeks ago) link

Matt Abts is merely impossible to pronounce so I'm assuming Allen Woody the abysmal name there?

Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Monday, 11 October 2021 21:14 (two weeks ago) link

Matt Abts, Allen Woody, Dickey Betts: I bow to all three (re xpost progression from abysmal to awesome), but especially the first, because, yes, say it and you sound like you're having a stroke ("LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GIVE IT UP FOR)

dow, Monday, 11 October 2021 21:46 (two weeks ago) link


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