I'm Also in the Library and It's Raining: WINTER 2018/2019 GAY THREAD

Ashbery was really important to me as a young queer poet, but I haven't read him in years because at a certain point, he started kind of doing the same thing over and over and over and over again.

Not trying to shit on him— his first books and the somewhat later "Flow Chart" really shaped me. (To drive this point home, I've read "Flow Chart" three times, and wrote approximately 35+ pages on Ashbery as an undergrad and grad student lol).

"at a certain point" = 1976, essentially

(i'd put it a little later, but yes)

Sooooo something super weird happened to me this weekend. I had a zoloft induced dissociative fugue. It was so weird I called my friend screaming I have no idea who I am. Scary!!!!!

I hate all of the SSRIs I've tried. some of the weird side effects occurred almost immediately upon starting (tight jaw, grinding teeth, strange dream architecture) and some took weeks to appear (most disturbingly a complete sexual numbing), and I never felt any therapeutic effect.

Was crazy scary but in other ways I do feel it is helping
Medicines are weird man

i went off Lexapro many years ago after a careful titration down. best decision i ever made, but that was for me.

until this whole cancer bullshit i'm dealing with now, i hadn't taken any pharmaceuticals regularly in more than nine years (!!!). to say i have a wicked distrust of the medical industrial complex would be an understatement.

I never felt any therapeutic effect.

my experience too. i'm also wary of pharma -- i'm putting off starting an antibiotic i was recently prescribed at my first doctor's visit in about two years.

i guess i'm going to be a resident of salt lake city for a while.

i'm going broke from i.v. drug use for my cancer, thx Obamacare

How's it all going Morbs, health-wise? What's the prognosis, if it's not too difficult or upsetting to talk about.

Yeah, Morbz, how's it going?

I have my final radiation treatment tomorrow! Surgery later this summer.

I'm on a new regimen post-radiation, too new to evaluate yet. I feel OK except I'm still way damn tired. So my primary concern is my finances.

<3 Morbs

(ie I need a staff job, not a gig, that'll pay for more of this)

I may hook up with a guy who wrote, "I love kissing in tents."

that sounds kind of hot

Florida in June? Yes.

lol

I should've known my date with a hot Montrealian would go awry when, after texting for a few minutes last night, this world traveler according to OkCupid and high school English teacher wondered if we couldn't eat at PF Chang's because he'd read they serve "good Asian cuisine."

At 6 p.m. tonight he tells me that he doesn't drive. The P.F. Chang's is 30 miles northeast of me.

oof. yeah, missed a bullet there. a hot bullet, sure, but a bullet none the less.

job interview on Monday that might rescue me from ruin

no pressure, though

good luck, morbz!

same!

Get the job Morbs rooting for you

yes

thanks all

gl morbs

What's the job? Best of luck, skill and moxie!

Any update M?
I've p much recovered from the mini death of my life that was zoloft and as a way to cope I've had sex with like twenty people in the past five days
Happy summer!

I like reading that

♡

Just checking in to say I've had really hot passionate sex with two French daddies while on holiday and I could get used to this French kissing business. Hi y'all! Also table I really enjoyed reading your update and have missed you on here. Quite a wild and adventurous life you lead and it makes me kind of envious except for the run ins with crazies and morans

Very generous of you, surm. :)

It's an assistant production ed at an academic-affiliated publisher, ie gold compared to hourly wage slavery for the world's most famous children's books.

let's have a qiqing.

I've probably posted that 100 times. Apols.

That sounds interesting for sure doc.

Always feel like I should be tough and shit on Father's Day. In truth it kinda blows.

I just had this guy over. We had fun. Then he started talking about music because he noticed my portrait of Britney (Girl With A Grey Hoodie). He then proceeded to give me three fascinating observations. He was like, I appreciate Britney but she's not a good singer, she's not a good dancer, and I hate Mariah Carey. I was like, hi! Please stop talking because I have 3 things to say. 1) Britney Spears is a great vocalist. 2) Britney Spears is a wonderful dancer. And 3) Mariah Carey is my favorite artist of all time. And then I asked him to leave. 💙💚💛🧡💜🖤

"where is the loooove...."

Hehehe standards man it's real

discussions I will never have

Do we talk about tmi here or only in tmi thread? I have a dr ruth q

Take it to TMI. I'm on tenterhooks

No idea where that thread is!
Whatever I'll figure it out lol

I posted in the obituary thread, but my mentor and friend and queer icon Kevin Killian passed away on this weekend. through him i met Dennis Cooper, John Waters, Eileen Myles, George Kuchar, and a host of other queer luminaries. i'll miss him a lot.

here's more about him: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Killian

So sorry to see that :-(
I hope you can keep his memories alive with the people that knew him

I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

sorry, that was quite the wrong moment to link that thread.

lol

Sad to hear about your mentor, table

Sad to hear about your mentor, table