Barfly Best Practices

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A companion thread to Bartender Best Practices

calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:24 (three years ago) link

what happened to bar etiquette

brimstead, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:26 (three years ago) link

before you leave you gotta stick $20 in the Doggie Diamonds machine. I swear it's gonna hit any day now.

frogbs, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:27 (three years ago) link

When unsure if a bar is open, approach from the opposite side of the street because

calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:27 (three years ago) link

be sure to lock the bathroom door before snorting that cocaine

(•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 15 December 2017 19:31 (three years ago) link

and if you do get caught, offer to share

frogbs, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:37 (three years ago) link

tip your fucking bartender

sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:53 (three years ago) link

with w33d

(•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 15 December 2017 19:54 (three years ago) link

if they smoke it, then definitely

sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:54 (three years ago) link

should be a list thread?

corollary to the above: don't smoke weed in the bar, not even in the smoking area

sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:55 (three years ago) link

A quick shake of salt on your cocktail napkin keeps it from sticking to the bottom of your glass.

You can use a straw to try someone else's drink without germ concerns (insert a straw, plug the top end with your thumb, lift it out and sample).

Ear wax and nose oil are good for dispelling bubbles (rub your nose or put your finger in your ear, then put the finger into excessively heady beer).

The old "dollar per drink" tip makes sense only for beer and rail drinks. 20% of pretax total is best for tabs that include more attentive service (hand muddling, etc.).

Coffee-based drinks consumed in the evening will usually be made with really terrible coffee.

If you don't want people to talk to you, work on a crossword puzzle or prop up a book on a condiment caddy. Protip: choose a very boring book or one with a nondescript cover, so no one tries to initiate conversation with "whatcha readin'?"

Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:02 (three years ago) link

If there is a TV tuned to Fox (even if it is muted) ask for it to be changed.

Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:03 (three years ago) link

if it doesn't fold, it isn't a tip (exceptions for regulars may apply)

sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:07 (three years ago) link

Depends on the amount

calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:10 (three years ago) link

this thread and the weather today make me want to go spend a few hours at my local tbh

(•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:11 (three years ago) link

haha otm

sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:12 (three years ago) link

See you there dude

calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:13 (three years ago) link

Sometimes a regular sitting near the taps gets to have a partial beer left by a dead keg (and yes it is still a free drink that you should consider when tipping).

General tipping guidance (may not apply for non-USians) is that you shouldn't try to punish a bad service experience with an insultingly small tip because you end up screwing over people who were not responsible.

If you had three glasses of the same wine, you could have bought the bottle.

Note: UK-style "and for yourself?" tipping does not work well in USian bars, as the bar staff is usually not drinking during working hours. I have seen people try to do it and it fell flat.

Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:41 (three years ago) link

cocktail napkins are so beyond horrible, there is this wonderful invention called the coaster...

brimstead, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:41 (three years ago) link

Who knows what life is or where it’s going
So cheers

calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 21:33 (three years ago) link

Always pay with cash. This eliminates the risks of:

- Forgetting your credit card
- the bartender taking advantage of your inebriation to overcharge you

calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 21:49 (three years ago) link

Also bar staff (and other service workers) have better visibility into what happens to cash than to credit/debit charges.

Oh and speaking of inebriation: if a bartender offers to call a cab for you, DON'T ARGUE. If they think you need a cab then you need a frickin cab.

Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 22:53 (three years ago) link

four weeks pass...

if taking a car to the bar, park or get dropped off a block away and arrive by foot. No one likes a VIP.

June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Friday, 12 January 2018 21:12 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

When an interested party asks how old you think they are, subtract 5 from your gut feeling

calstars, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 21:04 (three years ago) link

If you are the only person left in the bar very close to closing time...please leave.

Yerac, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 21:43 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

If there is more than one bartender
Choose one, preferably the older,
And when it comes time for subsequent rounds,
Always order from the same one,
To increase the chance of buy backs

calstars, Wednesday, 25 April 2018 23:02 (three years ago) link

May have changed opinions on paying with a card vs cash. I only got charged for 3 while consuming 5 today. Maybe the Card allows the bartender to keep the discounts on the DL, thereby rewarding good tipping regulars without being subject to the inquisitiveness of nosy fuckers at the bar who keep track of this shit

calstars, Monday, 7 May 2018 01:47 (three years ago) link

one thing i genuinely never know is whether bartenders prefer to be tipped in cash or just adding it on the card

F# A# (∞), Monday, 7 May 2018 02:20 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Re: paying with cash vs a card -
In the past few weeks I’ve been undercharged and overcharged using a card. I think it’s probably better just using cash

calstars, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:33 (three years ago) link

Testing the new bartender on buyback etiquette

calstars, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:34 (three years ago) link

I hate having to use a card at the bar. plus if they want to comp you a drink let them do so with a wink and a hand motion, not in a way that makes you think it could have been a "user error"

El Tomboto, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:37 (three years ago) link

If it's a quiet afternoon, testing the new bartender on their Old Fashioneds.

I'm Finn thanks, don't mention it (fionnland), Saturday, 26 May 2018 00:00 (three years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Stick with one bartender, especially if she pours them well

calstars, Saturday, 23 June 2018 17:22 (three years ago) link

three months pass...

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

calstars, Wednesday, 26 September 2018 21:58 (three years ago) link

very otm

sleeve, Wednesday, 26 September 2018 22:07 (three years ago) link

very incomprehensible

Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Wednesday, 26 September 2018 22:41 (three years ago) link

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts. (Speaking in USian terms.)

Inuit innuendo (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 27 September 2018 00:51 (three years ago) link

Two twenties and two tens says sic is not a barfly

calstars, Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:45 (three years ago) link

I thought sic was just referring to the business of tipping itself

El Tomboto, Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:46 (three years ago) link

Is sic a British? I forget.

Inuit innuendo (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:49 (three years ago) link

sic is an Australian on long-term loan to Seattle

faculty w1fe (silby), Thursday, 27 September 2018 02:27 (three years ago) link

let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

none of this comes close to explaining what "don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts" means

also

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

I assumed the same re calstars' model so you are additionally saying that your entire explanation is not intended to explain it?

Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Thursday, 27 September 2018 08:11 (three years ago) link

(plus yeah re tombot

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts.

a slightly more elegant model is: pay a listed price for things.)

Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Thursday, 27 September 2018 08:20 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

If carrying a cash balance on the bar itself, add new bills by placing them perpendicular, on the side of the bartender, to your stack of smaller bills.

calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 19:21 (two years ago) link

Confirm your tip with the bartender. Never leave cash unattended.

calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 21:44 (two years ago) link

I don’t worry about shift changes and tipping. I drink at the same bar all the time. They all know I got them overall.

Jeff, Saturday, 1 December 2018 22:10 (two years ago) link

Smoove Jeff
Respeck

calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 22:15 (two years ago) link

can I get a buyback or what

rip van wanko, Saturday, 1 December 2018 23:52 (two years ago) link

Cal yr top tier single malt

Make a double, neat chief

F# A# (∞), Sunday, 2 December 2018 04:27 (two years ago) link

When you’re on your 7th and wondering when the right time is to leave, do so whenever one of the following events occur:
- you belch loudly, causing a moment of silence to be observed around you
- navigation and walking control becomes difficult, possibly resulting in collisions with others
- you spill your drink on your running cash tab

calstars, Sunday, 9 December 2018 13:53 (two years ago) link

When ordering from a bar and sitting elsewhere, do so from out of arms-reach from others who are sitting at the bar. This reduces the opportunity for others to reach out and grab your tip.

This is not necessary if you never leave cash attended, which is the preferred practice.

calstars, Sunday, 13 January 2019 19:15 (two years ago) link

Yeah I think in that situation I would either be running a tab (in which case I will tip upon settling up), handing over a card (in which case I will tip on the receipt) or handing over something like the right amount of cash (and suggesting that the change should be kept).

Not sure what barfly mechanics would entail my leaving cash within the reach of other patrons.

Further, if I'm ordering from the bar but not sitting at it, it's likely that the bar is so crowded that there IS no place out of arm's reach.

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 13 January 2019 20:16 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

Sometimes you can’t help but be served by two bartenders. Sometimes there’s just no other option. In these cases you just have to roll with the punches and forgive however many lost buybacks you will miss.

calstars, Friday, 26 April 2019 21:51 (two years ago) link

if they care they close your tab when they're going off shift surely

findom haddie (jim in vancouver), Friday, 26 April 2019 21:53 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Stupid Mexican beer in a pint glass with a lime slice on the lip drinking tip: rotate the lime a half turn every few draughts and sip from there

calstars, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:35 (two years ago) link

Or you could just squeeze the lime into the beer and leave it there

mitt the hoopla (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:37 (two years ago) link

I had to completely refactor my mental calculus when drinking (or eating dinner) in Manhattan because the idea of separate checks or the wait staff splitting the check just does not compute. I mean, fair enough, I'm a traveler in a strange land, I must learn the ways. But it also explains why Venmo took off like crazy in NYC more than other places -- you're constantly having to send your friends cash because they got the tab!

mh, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:50 (two years ago) link

so I guess I'd recommend paying per drink when sitting at the bar with a chum to make it easier, or carrying enough cash to just divvy up the bill. Or just buy the drinks and give the person you'll never see again a "you can get it next time!" wink

mh, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:51 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

Keep in mind: mixed drinks don’t have a set alcohol content

calstars, Wednesday, 28 August 2019 00:16 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

When paying in small denominations, lay the cash out in separate piles for the drink and the tip

calstars, Sunday, 22 September 2019 16:43 (two years ago) link

When finished with a can, crush it slightly to let the bartender know what’s up

calstars, Sunday, 22 September 2019 18:00 (two years ago) link

four weeks pass...

If there are multiple bartenders and there is one you favorite, don’t be afraid to tell the others if you’re approached that you’re “good” with a wave of the hand. Then just be patient til you can order with your preferred.

calstars, Sunday, 20 October 2019 02:33 (two years ago) link

One way to hit on a bartender is to say, “buy you a drink?”

calstars, Saturday, 26 October 2019 01:21 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

An experienced server (one that’s probably worth your time) will tip cash face down. When you collect your change, leave the bills for the tip face up.

June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:35 (one year ago) link

what is this nonsense

-_- (jim in vancouver), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:45 (one year ago) link

servers must fucking hate you

-_- (jim in vancouver), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:45 (one year ago) link

barfly best practice: run a tab, pay once, when you leave, tip 20-25%. fin.

-_- (jim in vancouver), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:46 (one year ago) link

does the alcohol go in the mouth or can it be drank another way

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Saturday, 23 November 2019 01:09 (one year ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GCcoaSq3x4

brownie, Saturday, 23 November 2019 02:43 (one year ago) link

I don't get this leaving cash out on the bar.

Yeah, if it's a tip, but keep it in your pocket otherwise.

pplains, Saturday, 23 November 2019 03:11 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Keep in mind — from a bartender’s perspective, there’s nothing more useless than a patron commenting on the music.

calstars, Friday, 3 January 2020 22:04 (one year ago) link

ugh, nice newer bar and this group came in and they all are sitting, not waiting in a line. and two are doing the “holding cash up to get service” move. ok, it’s a small space and they are servicing _your group_ from left to right. you are the only people this guy is serving. and the guy near me has money in hand and singles on the bar in front of him, in some passive aggressive “this is the tip” move. and when he is about to be served, he puts those singles back in his wallet

diiiiiiieeee

babu frik fan account (mh), Saturday, 4 January 2020 06:35 (one year ago) link

If the tables are wobbly, place your drink in the middle

calstars, Saturday, 11 January 2020 01:50 (one year ago) link

If the drinks are wobbly, place your

papa stank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 11 January 2020 02:01 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

came here to post the same video as brownie upthread

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Monday, 10 February 2020 10:56 (one year ago) link

six months pass...

When paying with a card at a new place, provide the most exclusive plastic (or metal) that you can. This may lead to better service and customer prioritization in anticipation of a large tip.

calstars, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:12 (one year ago) link

rich people are bad tippers so this probably won't work

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:14 (one year ago) link

my wife got a 10% tip from one of the countries wealthiest real estate developers/art patrons

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:15 (one year ago) link

lol yeah

solo scampito (mh), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:47 (one year ago) link

this thread makes going to the bar seem like going to the soup nazi

brimstead, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:51 (one year ago) link

“When in groups of 5 or multiples of 7, make sure to all sit on the same side on the booth and throw 8 five dollars bills folded into airplanes towards the bartender every 24 1/2 minutes”

brimstead, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:53 (one year ago) link

also know the code name for your drink. calling it by its real name is an insult

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:54 (one year ago) link

Bwahaha

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:56 (one year ago) link

Assuming the bartender is busy, lower your cost per hour at the bar by bringing a thermos or flask from home

calstars, Monday, 24 August 2020 21:56 (one year ago) link

PROTIP: Don't go to a bar during COVID

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 24 August 2020 22:43 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Sometimes a big tip is necessary to alert a new or unfamiliar bartender that you’re “worthy” of buybacks. So if there’s someone new behind the bar, be generous and look forward to the next time for reciprocation.

calstars, Sunday, 27 September 2020 22:00 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Just stand in one place and drink until you fall over

calstars, Sunday, 1 November 2020 23:42 (eleven months ago) link

three months pass...

If it’s busy, and you score a good spot or table: to deter squatters, order doubles, and have a spare drink on the table at all times

calstars, Sunday, 14 February 2021 18:35 (eight months ago) link

how is that not a dick move

brimstead, Sunday, 14 February 2021 19:58 (eight months ago) link

If it’s crowded, place your half empty drink in clear view of the bartender so that it’s clearly visible when they make their rounds. This allows them to quickly assess, together with a nod on your part, that you’re in need of another round.

calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 01:49 (seven months ago) link

half empty? we only drink half?

brimstead, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:40 (seven months ago) link

Drinking half is a dick move

calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:42 (seven months ago) link

Tip directly into the recipients hand / vision

You all stealin what’s not yours can gfy

calstars, Monday, 1 March 2021 00:28 (seven months ago) link

two months pass...

When arriving at the bar and verbally greeting the bouncer or bartender, volume is more important than content

calstars, Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:44 (five months ago) link

strolls into doorway, screams "FUCK UP CUNT!!!" across the room, returns to outdoor seating and waits for preferred beverages to be fetched.

bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:51 (five months ago) link

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction

calstars, Sunday, 2 May 2021 17:56 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

Don’t creep or hit on the staff

calstars, Saturday, 5 June 2021 20:25 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

If you’re sitting outside and it’s windy and seats at the place are at a premium and you’re not finished with your round and you have a glass of water and a clean napkin at hand and you need to vacate your spot temporarily, dip a corner of the napkin into the water and drape it over the round, wet edge touching rim and facing the prevailing direction of the wind. This will decrease the chances your napkin will blow away while you’re elsewhere, thereby decreasing the chances a customer looking for a seat will assume yours is available vis a vis the “abandoned” round.

calstars, Saturday, 24 July 2021 22:14 (two months ago) link

If you need to limit yourself, order the last round, provide your card, and ask the server to close you out

calstars, Saturday, 31 July 2021 23:44 (two months ago) link

two months pass...

Most graceful way to close out?
My vote goes to asking for a glass of water or club when you do so to savor the moment a bit longer

calstars, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 00:49 (one week ago) link


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