Real England

For many years there have been events held in our local area on Hallowe’en. We have participated each October, handing out sweets and other goodies to children when they knock at the door.

However, my children are now too old to go trick or treating and I don't feel like we should have to spend our money to pay for others.

I got into a heated argument with my neighbour about this, they say I am in the wrong as my children benefited for many years. Should I relent and take part in the festivities?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/consumer-affairs/moral-money-kids-have-left-home-can-stop-wasting-cash-halloween/

Man 'tried to have sex with a pile of leaves' in a hotel car park https://t.co/YLTjF9oGEV

— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) October 31, 2019

"Michael Golsorkhi was seen 'thrusting' with his trousers around his ankles in full view of families eating at a Beefeater pub in Stockport."

chefskiss.jpg

Getting his beef eaten

Beefeats, shoots, in leaves

lmao

Or "shoots in leaves."

A wonderful way to honour those who died protecting us from fascism. 👏 9/10 pic.twitter.com/mNbEZshC65

— Poppy® Watch (@giantpoppywatch) November 8, 2019

beautiful

3 LIONS REMEMBER

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bedminster-pub-you-wont-pint-2198290

yeah i feel like i probably wouldn't wander into the Three Lions by choice anyway

I'd only go in there with my "al-Baghdadi Jihad Legend" T shirt on

Nice work there from pub landlord Sean Donnelly.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-50346218

A noisy neighbour who blasted out dance anthem Born Slippy on a loop has been warned he could face jail if he fails to keep the noise down.

Clyde Taylor, 54, ignored official warnings to stop playing the Underworld track in the early hours.

Hi-fi equipment, speakers and an electric guitar were seized from his home in Eccles after repeated breaches of a noise abatement notice.

Nice work there from pub landlord Sean Donnelly.

LOL

The weather is particularly bad in South London.. pic.twitter.com/98ThG1Oz1Z

— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) November 8, 2019

Is this bloke the final level Poppy Boss? pic.twitter.com/kofLiXk7QE

— #ProudDaddy Mooms (@Danny_McMoomins) November 9, 2019

he'll be sorry when he has to feed it a dentist

i used to live in bedminster and the nearest pub had a sign in the door written in biro that said "locals only after 8pm". i wonder if any non-locals went in before 8pm.

I once went into a pub with a "customer notice Travellers will not be served here". When I asked the surly landlord if there was a payphone on the premises. He said its just around the corner but your not using it if you are from that bail hostel.

Beautiful tribute to our fallen soldiers 😢 pic.twitter.com/gpbZNPpMH5

— Mascots Minute Silence (@MascotSilence) November 9, 2019

Map issued to polish aircrew during WW2 to help them pronounce British town names. Thank you one and all. pic.twitter.com/4hxPkC3cFd

— tom newton (@tom_newton1234) November 10, 2019

omg

that is the best

Note the lack of R's

I'm Byleryky Dycky and I'm doing very well.

it's been disputed that it's a WWII map, it's in a book of Soviet-era maps and is said to be in case of a Soviet invasion of Britain

It is for Polish speakers though.

Saufend-on-Sji <<< going with the local pronunciation I see...

https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/23/man-threatened-burn-nightclub-didnt-sell-red-bull-11206056/

In mitigation, his defence barrister said Day couldn’t remember the incident.

I couldn't really help it, I was pissed out of my head

seven Coronas, wow Ollie Reed lives

https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/police-issue-update-latex-clad-3557776.amp?

pic.twitter.com/PzLr0kJwP3

— . (@twlldun) November 25, 2019

thx 4 new screen name suzy

listening to Cock Sparrer rn

<3 Cock Sparrer so much

It must have been a tight squeeze...https://t.co/S1o9S4LkHK

— StokeonTrentLive (@Sotlive) December 15, 2019

The school nativity 'angel' who gave the audience the middle finger - for twenty minuteshttps://t.co/OhTrmgS0Eg

— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) December 16, 2019

top stuff

This is the thread where we judge other people's parenting

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/grave-of-the-last-sin-eater-richard-munslow

"The unenviable practice of sin-eating was usually undertaken by beggars and the poor, who would “pawn their souls”—or be paid to eat and drink over a corpse—to “take on” the sins of the suddenly deceased (who had been unable to confess their sins before death). In the Christian faith, it was thought this ritual ensured the recently departed an untroubled passage into Heaven."

this guy died in 1906 btw!

Oh right, I only know the word 'sin-eater' from a Guided By Voices song, I just assumed it was some gobbledygook Robert Pollard nonsense.

https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/18120387.mystery-piles-manure-appear-around-county-durham-villages/?ref=ebmpn

“Customers have been talking about it every day for the past few weeks – it’s affecting every road into the village. It’s clearly someone with a big trailer because there’s an awful lot of **** out there.”

From a cafe wall in Essex. pic.twitter.com/qrwCwePTWK

— Daniel Holland (@DannyDutch) January 10, 2020

probably a bit try-hard tbf, but it could be genuine.

i think that’s this guy


https://mobile.twitter.com/michael1979/timelines/621659536571650048

i thought it was a bit zany and lacking in real.. soz for posting it here.

(largely for recognition of "this is a definite type")

what is the name for this type of man??

English, Terry Pratchett fan, sardonic humour, left wing-ish, leather jackets, maybe long hair, maybe folk music, Bill Bailey, real ale, usually middle age+. Warhammer adjacent. Likes swords but doesn't necessarily own one?

— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) January 15, 2020