what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

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word on the street is that "he turned out to be a jerk!"

Somewhere in this sentence is an anal joke desperate to break free.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 21 August 2004 01:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I second (fifth?) the request to leave her the URL. I'm loving the possibility of her actually liking ILX and becoming an instant regular.

― chrisco (chrisco), Saturday, 21 August 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, what with ILX being Emo Central and such.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 21 August 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Well there sure are a lot of threads about anal sex.

― chrisco (chrisco), Saturday, 21 August 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

She could call herself 'roomie'.

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 21 August 2004 09:51 (twenty-one years ago)

roomy?

ew.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 21 August 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

24 likes ass sex and will have sex with anyone with two legs your roommate sounds awesome!

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 21 August 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but you're a shameless pervert, Ken C.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 21 August 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

it's true! i should put out adverts for roommates like her.

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 21 August 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Ah yes. So tonight I came home from work early, after it was determined that in fact there was nothing for me to do until tomorrow night.

I was most concerned about finding a cockroach in the place (like I did last night when I got home, a big mofo about an inch and a half long) so I entered the apartment and turned on my lights.

Empty living room. Nothing scurrying about. I advanced towards my bedroom and turned on the hall light.

Nothing. but...

My roommate's door was wide open. The light poured into her room to reveal her lying naked on her bed, right next to the door, atop an indie ponce. She had been asleep, but then she awoke and looked at me. She probably didn't remember what she was doing, she just mumbled "what's up?" I shrugged and said, "I'm gonna miss moments like this." She closed the door.

Considering I'm moving out tomorrow and she's never around during the day, that's probably the last I'll be seeing of her.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 23 September 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

A fitting démnouement to a delicious thread. Well done.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 23 September 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahh, how sweet!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 September 2004 07:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Very appropriate.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 23 September 2004 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn, what's up could have been the erfect feeder line for the Carry On ILx thread

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 23 September 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Beautiful.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 23 September 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

lock the thread now

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 23 September 2004 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

good job you didn't decide to capture the moment on camera

― teh pow! (blueski), Thursday, 23 September 2004 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i bet she has vaginal warts.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 23 September 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

if your roommate called anita?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 23 September 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Amanda Sleepatop

Ivana Dowanalondakowch

― teh pow! (blueski), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Dominicia Ash

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 23 September 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...

o grim reunion!

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Los Angeles, you know I love you but you're still too fucking small.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh DEAR. Was it him or her?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hi! How's your ass? Er, how've you been?"

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ah, the memories. the laughter. the santorum.

― latebloomer: the rebel sound of grits and bacon (latebloomer), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Amoeba Records, after leaving work early. She was browsing the new CDs, I was in used. I saw her and darted for the Brazilian section, figuring I'd be safe. But then I remembered I was fairly close to folk and therefore Nick Drake, so I made a beeline for hip-hop and waited it out. I'm pretty sure she didn't see me.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, are there giant walls between genres or something?

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

walls of cornitude!

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Arrrrrgh. I was SO going to Amoeba tonight, and blew it off. No way I would have missed any Angie Harmon/Flipper lookin' chix0rz, let alone Angie Harmon/Flipper-lookin' chix0rz clutching the new Weezer. I suck, and there is no God.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 05:04 (twenty-one years ago)

See, THIS is the problem with having one very good record store in a city.

― donut debonair (donut), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

collisions with ex couch violators.

for fuck and shame.

― donut debonair (donut), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

And did this thread get printed and given to her as a present?

Actually strike that question.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 07:44 (twenty-one years ago)

This is the first time I've seen this thread. I've had tears in my eyes for an hour and I've never laughed so hard in my lifetime. Thank you, Gear!, thank you, Gear!, thank you.

― ... And suddenly Ian Riese-Moraine is a naked man saying, 'Polvo! Polvo!' (Easte, Sunday, 15 May 2005 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember I used to think gear! was quite old

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 15 May 2005 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www4.desales.edu/SCFC/promotion/yelling.jpg

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Sunday, 15 May 2005 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Seven "Hipster Scouts" were arrested earlier today for wearing trucker hats ironically.

― ... And suddenly Ian Riese-Moraine is a naked man saying, 'Volvo! Volvo!' (Easte, Monday, 16 May 2005 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Is she now roaming the streets? Looking for her prince, whose head fits the trucker-hat she found in the folk section?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 16 May 2005 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

it isn't in the living room, but my little brother is loudly entertaining one of his many fuck-buddies right now, and i need to kep my door open to hear the doorbell, and the rhythmic 'ting ting ting' of his cheap tinny bed against the walls has given way to full on guttural grunting straight out of a jungle pron flick.

it's fair traumatising.

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

salute.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 20 August 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

respek.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 20 August 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

Be awed.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 20 August 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

I just want to make sure that I've posted on this thread.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 20 August 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

I never get tired of reading this one.

― I'm playing it cool but it's terribly cruel / Kate (papa november), Saturday, 20 August 2005 23:17 (twenty years ago)

how in the name of jesus h. christ have i never happened upon this thread before? just read it from start to finish. probably the greatest hour of my life.

i'm guessing i won't be the first, but i'm off to start writing the screenplay for my (surely award-winning) short film based upon the thread. (not just the event. the thread itself has its own unique mindblowing narrative). absolute fucking genius. everytime it looks like the thread was about to wither and die, something truly fucking hilarius pops up. how to ask for ass sex. dolphin sex. that parting comment.

i think i've fallen in love with the thread.

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

I had originally missed the "o grim reunion" bit, so I'm glad I came searching for it again.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 20 August 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

Tracer OTM. What was the jess thread mentioned near the start? I seem to vaguely recall an amusing thread around the same time as this, that I think involved jess, but does anyone have a link (or at least some search terms to get me there?)

― steal compass, drive north, disappear (tissp), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 12:33 (twenty years ago)

(also, a revival because this thread deserves to be revived at least once every two months. In fact, let's just reproduce it verbatim in the FAQ)

― steal compass, drive north, disappear (tissp), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 12:36 (twenty years ago)

it is a good bit blacker in tone than this one, really, but here it is: girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

― electrogrouse (haitch), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 13:19 (twenty years ago)

That's the one, cheers haitch.

― steal compass, drive north, disappear (tissp), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 13:19 (twenty years ago)

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