A mouse in the house

I love cats, but my Other Half does not. I'd been on at him for ages, saying how much I'd like to have a cat (or two), but he was always staunchy opposed to them, until the night of THE MOUSE INCIDENT several years ago.

I awoke in the middle of the night, to the sound of something gnawing furiously on the skirting board in the bedroom. Every time I flicked the bedroom light on - there was nothing there. It was baffling. I thought I was going mad.

The constant light-flicking-on-and-off plus me-grumbling-noises woke my Bloke up, "There's a mouse in here! Do something! I can't sleep with that in here! What if if runs up onto the bed and bites me?! Get rid of it!" I wailed.

"Well", he muttered, "there's a mousetrap down in the garden shed, but I'm not going out there at this time of night"

"Do something else then! Anything! Just get rid of it!" I pleaded

"What do you expect me to do? Shoot it?" He was becoming quite bad tempered.

"Yes, if you must"

"Okay then, I will"

And so he rummaged in the wardrobe and pulled out a .22 air rifle and a box of pellets. I held the torch. We laid down, side by side, army commando style, on our stomachs, sideways across the bed, peering into the darkness at the section of skirting board where I had heard the mouse sounds. We pulled the duvet over us as camouflage, because The Bloke said that mice can see in the dark and would be able to spot the gun. I believed this. It seemed feasible.

"Right". he whispered. "Point the torch towards the corner where the gnawing was, and as soon as you hear it, switch the torch on and I'll shoot the little fucker - okay?"

The torch was one of those huge Maglites, regulation Police issue with an intense halogen beam. I think they use them to illuminate whole streets from the police helicopter.

The gnawing started up again, I switched on the torch, which instantly dazzled The Bloke who fired blindly in the general direction of the door. We did this sniper exercise several times, air gun pellets ricochetting off the walls, the wardrobes, the bedside clock. Everywhere, except the vicinity of the mouse.

Next day, he capitulated and said I could have a cat.

The cat's the most prolific hunter, and we've never had any mice in the house (or had to shoot any more furniture) since.

so, in a fit of rage, i bought some poison bait which was an effective but not entirely wise move. i killed a bunch of mice that way, but the corpses would turn up everywhere and if not found and disposed of immediately would stink. after a brief lull in rodent activity i thought the problem had been taken care of, but no. the mice came back and i moved on to the covered spring traps, which short of a getting a cat or a thorough professional treatment is what i would recommend using. they're quick and efficient, with an opaque slip cover so you don't have to see the body (though the tail sticks out rather pathetically).

i managed to corner it on the worktop and then put a pint glass over it (being careful of the tail) and a book underneath it and chucked it out the back door.

Finally, I caught it by slamming a plastic container over it and sliding the lid underneath. When I opened the tent door and released it, it ran off like a shot. During the daylight hours, my wife repaired the hole the mouse had chewed.

The next night as we went to bed we heard similar chewing noises. The same mouse (we are sure of this) was busily chewing a hole about 3 cm from the first hole and was on the point of entering the tent again when we caused it to flee. It made me sorry I had let it go the night before instead of killing it, the rotter.

Then, of course, there were the various animal parts that were left all over the house.

it's a cruel world, don't let nobody tell you otherwise.

i wish i could find the other one though. i just threw out whatever was under my bed so there's no more hiding places. waiting for maintenance to come seal up the hole, wherever it is.

I'd like to read Tracer's great-grandmother's book.

i just got a humane trap and they haven't even gone near it

probably snickering at your good-heartedness

Put it hard up against the skirting board - they tend to creep along the foot of the wall for cover.

maybe i should have used something other than aged gouda and a skinny latte as bait?

We had one recently, but had to reset it a couple of times when visiting kids stole the raisins from it.

Lol @ yuppie mice. Maybe try a PBR and a street hot dog, Tracer?

Someone told me mice are mad for chocolate. To test if that was a joke I put some in a trap I had in my previous house and it worked!

attached a poisoned glue trap to the humane trap. That may work.

mice are ppl too

is that the logic that causes ppl to use humane traps to catch them?

you know what doesn't work? Those electronic noisemakers. And yet we have two going in the kitchen non-stop for the last year and a half.

Also try peppermint oil, the hardcore stuff, not the stuff you cook with. Fill cotton balls and place everywhere.

And the only real solution? Find the holes and plug them up. Foam and/or steel wool. If you find one, there's 6 more hiding. If you kill one, there's 6 more still hiding...and mad.

And the only real solution

A cat still works too. Even a lazy cat drives them away with pheromones or something.

Find the holes and plug them up.

i heard that this stops the house from "breathing"

houses are ppl too

"breathing" is a euphemism for "being stuffed with mice"

Sounds like you need a humane house trap too then.

hahaha tracer u should get a pied pipe and lead them all on a merry dance across town to an orphanage and tell them never to return

Open a window. The house doesn't need a dime-sized hole next to the stove pipes or radiator to "breathe".

A cat still works too. Even a lazy cat drives them away with pheromones or something.

This is definitely not true.

We got an electric rat killer, it's zapped about 15 of the fuckers (mice, not rats) over the last 2 weeks, at least the rate has slowed down now but they're still around I think.

i live in a big apartment building so i'm very dubious of my ability to plug all the holes - can't remember where i heard the "breathing" thing, it sounds pretty bonkers

THERE'S AN ELECTRIC RAT-KILLER?? Holy fucking technology, that would have CHANGED MY LIFE at my last apartment.

It rules, you just hear this BZZZZZZZZZT noise from the cupboard, then just go and tip the mouse in the bin, reset it, and back in the cupboard.

You need a smellier cat! (xxxpost)