This category contains Scots pejoratives

I have a very definite sense of how things should be spelled based on tradition, pronunciation, derivation and various vaguely-cohesive workings of my mind (or just them being actual words with actual spellings), then people spoil it all with choob and jaikie and other such weirdness.

I write tube like a choob

I reckon that's a false cognate- doesn't it mean someone who grasses in australia?

yep. if you dob on someone to a teacher, you'll be a dibber-dobber.

nb: the teacher is not a dibber. it's just a way of emphasising one's dobbyness. (almost all dobbing is done to teachers.)

Someone once told me that 'dobber' had a sectarian root (as in Dirty Orange Bastard). I don't remember people using it when I was a kid - I kind of feel many of these were either made up (e.g. fannybaws) or died and got a new lease of life through Chewin the Fat ("gie's a gonk ya dobber").

From one of the hundreds of BOC threads, made me laugh.

AWAY AND EAT A BOWL OF PISH!! YA BIG PISH EATING ARSE CANDLE
― bolsey boy pudding and pie, Thursday, December 22, 2005 11:26 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Talking of old threads, now seems like an especially propitious time to revive this thread, a perfect example of some of the pejoratives already mentioned in vivid action.

Let's try that again

that is a corker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1glbBNXAQhY

Can't see that, Nick... oh, sorry... whit's the fuckin' sketch here, ya walloper, ah cannae see a fuckin' thing.

how no? ya fuckin' (pause) balloon

Here, don't get fuckin' wide wi' me, ya cheeky article, ah'll gie ye a skelp, so ah will. If ye must know, ah'm oan a fuckin' train gaun fae Glesga tae that London, any obs?

Bravo btw, you're learning fast (xp)

Talk of 'tims' on the Rangers Have Gone Into Administration thread has reminded of something my dad used to say about his dad, my grandad (who died when I was too young to remember him), he used to say that he worked "timming sand boats". This was always said in the context of how he (my dad that is) not only never 'ad nuthin' ever and how he felt looked down on because his father only "timmed sand boats". This was entirely incomprehensible to me as a child but, thanks to the internet, I discover that 'tim' is a Scots word (verb + adj.) for 'empty' and a sand boat is some kind of dredger.

http://i.imgur.com/jgRjQqA.jpg

Anyone remember that word that sounded like "honners"? I don't know if it was the same word as "honours" but it was the term for somebody who would back you up in a fight. We used it constantly.

hauners. Like handers, as in giving you a hand, I believe.

Interesting. Never would have guessed that.

I sometimes suspect that when two Scots converse they only understand the half of what each other is saying.

Depends what circles they are from. It's been a long time since I heard someone who had a really extreme accent with lots of slang I didn't know.

https://sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:RecentChanges

Follae the maist recynt chynges tae the wiki oan this page.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3cMbfnW8AEDtQD.jpg

*swells with national pride*

Dying!

https://twitter.com/Hailtic/status/826138133142069249

on the same theme

heh, i like that even more

is that outside buchanan galleries?

yup

or "aye" i should say fuck sake man been in north america too fucking long

canadians are the acceptable face of north america tho tbf

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3cOuMUWEAAQryg.jpg

i'm starting to think i need to visit scotland

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3b8f3nWQAIEKrN.jpg

Don't know if anyone else noticed but, in his press conference with Theresa May, Trump said his mother was from Stornoway, "That's real Scotland." I expect Trump would consider these protestors to be not real Scots.

not true scotsmen, as it were

look at aw these fake fuckin', they've probably tasted a vegetable

fake fuckin' Scots

Whenever I see the latest brexit thread I think "ne'er cast a cloot till May is oot", which is the only way I've ever encountered that phrase, and that makes me think of this phrase, said of someone who's overfond of drink: "she could drink it through a shitey cloot"

ay cunts what about ye and this rock

aye keep talking deems ye pure roaster

Aye, like Rockall is part of Donegal, get tae France, ya wide-o.

I met a colleague's wife outside the office today and she said "I'm waiting for bawjaws" in reference to her own husband.

https://www.thesun.ie/tvandshowbiz/music/4201608/the-wolfe-tones-rockall-irish-vessels/

lol @ onimo's post